Trump Picks J.D. Vance as His Running Mate

Seth Meyers does his monologue for Tuesday, July 16, before sizzling through a list of topics and firing sick burns at some deserving subjects, like birdwatching and complicated cocktails.
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Trump Picks J.D. Vance as His Running Mate - Late Night with Seth Meyers
• Trump Picks J.D. Vance...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth

[@maryallan3982]

Remember 'The Stepford Wives'? J.D. is the Stepford Veep

[@johnnyhunter]

I just love the 'Ya Burnt' personality that talks back to Seth. That voice is perfect lol.

[@HoraceInkling]

Did you think Seth’s nightgiggling sounded like Tucker Carlson?

[@burnyizland]

@@HoraceInkling It DID! Couldn't place it, thank you.

[@anthonysilvestri4946]

JD Vance is the quintessential "born again" Trump sycophant! Did he really think we weren't gonna go back n watch the interviews from 2016? 😂😂😂

[@katalac]

He simply doesn't care

[@anthonysilvestri4946]

​@@katalac No shame, no morals and no self respect... The prototypical MAGA politician 😂

[@KtotheL]

just a hillbilly that shoulda stayed where he belongs in the woods....

[@nicklindberg90]

MAGAs are too griftable for anyone to care

[@sherinameless1618]

Trump said that J.D. now appreciates how awesome Trump is, and that's all the info the Trump base needs.

[@StumpkillerCP]

Wonderful fact about the Stegosaurus. The four spikes on the tail had no identifying name until palentologists adopted the name Gary Larson had put in a cartoon. The "Thagomizer", named after the late Thag Simmons", became a real thing. I love paleontologists.

[@WW-hr1hd]

Gary Larson and The Far Side ROCK! I'm not sure if they did this in other cities, but Denver's Museum of Nature and Science hosted an exhibit of The Far Side back in the early 1990s. It says a lot about the scientific authenticity of The Far Side to have an exhibit at a Nature and Science Museum. One of my all time favorite exhibits!

[@calumproctor981]

Strigiphilus garylarsoni is a species of chewing louse found only on owls. "And I think to myself, 'What a wonderful world'."

[@EthelJung-j5w]

Devoted android user here. The thing to remember is that the roadblock to compatible texting is Apple, not Google or Samsung. When my iPhone friends react to a text message, it displays as it should on my Samsung. It doesn't work in the other direction due to Apple.

[@nuthinmuffins5073]

I don’t really understand people defending their use of any kind of phone. They all have pros and cons, and none of it should be taken personally. I guess that’s part of the joke, but I still find the premise tedious.

[@spinozatheobvious626]

Okay so when you say "texting" I guess you mean SMS? Is that the other part of the story I'm missing? That this is just another part of Americans being weird by using SMS instead of a messaging app like WhatsApp or Signal? Cause I'm pretty sure on a messaging app you cannot see what platform the other people use.

[@GenRN]

As an iPhone user I cannot see myself having a significant relationship with any one of the opposite phone brands. It ruins iMessage. Sorry.

[@kranodor]

@@spinozatheobvious626 America has, like, 60% iPhone vs. 40% across all makes of phone using Android, Europe more like 35% iPhone vs. 65% Android. And there's sections of the US population (I don't know if it's regional, or socio-economic strata or whatever) where (almost) everyone has an iPhone, and the one person with the Android phone - then usually a Samsung, of course - sticks out like a sore thumb, thus creating these stories and memes that are happily replicated among other groups consisting of iPhone users only. I've seen culture shock videos of Americans visiting Europe and only then even learning apps like WhatsApp exists and being surprised at how many people are using Android phones.

[@spinozatheobvious626]

@@kranodor oh yeah I know about the texting thing... this was a major thing on facebook some years ago, where loads of Europeans were suddenly finding out that US Americans don't know WhatsApp. For me it was an eye opener because I always assumed that when people on US tv were saying "texting" they meant sending messages through WhatsApp/Signal/Telegram 🤣.

[@alanacholmes]

After 8 days with no power (thanks Beryl and Centerpoint executives), I'm so excited to watch Sethly from my own home!!

[@KeithJackson-ux7eh]

Hey congrats. Hope you’re safe and well

[@Kc-dq7zj]

Ugh, so glad you have power again!!

[@tonydezurik6863]

Well, the storm is a mindless random thing. On the other hand, Centerpoint CHOOSE to not spend a dime to upgrade its grid...

[@paulyricca3881]

👴🏻🥃 ROBERT DUNDER IN 24

[@leahmurphy59]

Hope you haven’t voted for those two loser Cruz and Abbutt.

[@willwebber6496]

"JD Vance looks like a Funco Pop doll of himself" - It's funny because it's true! 😂

[@chady77077]

Yeah Kamala is waaaay better looking LOL

[@witchypoorose5196]

I loved that one! 😅

[@signumcrucis71]

Spoiled naive

[@norman_james455]

@@chady77077 Yes, your statement, minus the lame sarcasm, is correct.

[@StarParticleShade]

Jackal here: Excuse me sir - they doooooooooo have 'adult' coloring books. They have them with rude gestures, lewd acts, adult-themes, and my favorite - curse words in amazing designs. Get you one. They're awesome. When I get mad at someone, I color the picture in their 'pallet'. It's a good, secret burn - unless you give it to them, which then it's just fun. :D Love yoooou!

[@tarain417land]

I have the curse words coloring book. It's awesome!

[@The_Infamous_Boogyman]

How could they not know that?

[@StarParticleShade]

@@The_Infamous_Boogyman ​ @The_Infamous_Boogyman Probably because they didn't just look for one online. It's also fun to steal pages from my kid's coloring books to alter a picture to make a princess look like she's got a dubs. It just takes a few strokes of the pen and some imagination. I did some insane alterations to a kid's coloring book my friend bought me as a jab. Jokes on him, I made all of those things into little versions of us, and gave it back. He loved it - it made him laugh so hard.

[@jbuster9]

Palette?

[@starksandrecreation]

Yup! My favorite one is cutesy animals being vulgar. I want to get the “let’s summon demons” one (after I work through some of the ones I have)

[@ctomsky]

"Grunting over a deuce" was comedy gold. Props to whoever wrote that one.

[@MarkSchenfisch]

"send my assistant to go to the bathroom for me" is the perfect follow-through on the logic of the joke. No corrections here, just a gold star for attention to detail!!! ⭐

[@brenta2634]

J. D. Vance looks like the garbage pail kids cross between Eric and Don Jr. 😂

[@marks4708]

Well you know when you start insulting someone’s appearance that you don’t have much of an IQ. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@BurritoMassacre]

I said the same thing on X 😂 well that he looked like a Garbage Pail kid Not the Don part

[@brenta2634]

@@BurritoMassacre I hope he shaves his beard and start wearing baggy suits. Mini-Trump!

[@ronaldrothchild4068]

A hybrid of Eric and Don

[@dracoargentum9783]

“The son he wished for”

[@thesoundsmith]

Vance called Trump, "America's Hitler." Trump was so pleased that finally _somebody_ understood him, he hired the guy.

[@ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv]

Harris called Biden a racist to his face

[@Danny-lr1yg]

This comment is botted btw, this dude is a notorious comment botter

[@annjohnson8437]

I think you're right!

[@humanbeing8400]

Kamala called Biden a racist

[@Bamajana]

😂

[@pushinkeys]

trumps braveheart speech- “they may take our lives!… well not my life but maybe yours..”

[@kissedbysun2517]

I'm just glad he didn't wave his willy at the crowd

[@madalynnmccarron4590]

"Some of you may die... but that is a sacrifice that I'm willing to make." - Lord Farquad, Shrek

[@Mrpibb666]

Get my shoe

[@paulyricca3881]

🔥

[@paulyricca3881]

@@Mrpibb666 👴🏻🥃 WEAR IS BACK PACK KID AT?

[@AnnaAnna428]

There’s always talk about tree frogs before Ya Burnt. What’s if I actually wanted to learn something about tree frogs? 🤣

[@sherinameless1618]

Seth's writers were assigned that report on migrating tree frogs four years ago, and they keep giving Seth "Ya Burnt" instead. I wouldn't put up with it, if I were him.

[@AnnaAnna428]

@@sherinameless1618 I mean… I’ll laugh every time, but someone out there is actually genuinely interested in learning a real tree fact. 🤣

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@AnnaAnna428 p.s. 🤣🤪😄

[@Room142]

Migrating tree frog bit getting interrupted goes way back to his days on weekend update at snl

[@kevinmcqueenie7420]

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Lyndsay Graham, JD Vance… The list goes on. Power over principle, each and every one.

[@ragnong9680]

You clearly know nothing about Republican politics if you lumped JD with those clowns. JD is a pro-labor pro-union Republican who had the stones to be anti-war in warmongering party as a junior senator. He marks a drastic shift in the priorities of the Republican party away from the foreign policy excesses of Bush, McCain and Romney, and into a new future for the party.

[@Elwaves2925]

It's like the boy band nobody wanted or liked, yet they still might get to No. 1. In reverse order, you have the initials guy, the one with a usually female name, the foreign name guy and the one no one remembers the name of. 😁

[@DarinDan-t5s]

Add Nikki haley as the new spineless .

[@Keithustus]

Well Lyndsey Graham was never really about principles in the first place. Just whatever the wind wants.

[@vanessawhitneypro]

This corn flower blue sweater is HEAVEN. Thank You for making Us laugh, Seth. Cheers to You and the Late Night Crew!

[@TheThriftyWoodworker]

Yea a sweater when it’s 100 degrees out. Way to tell us your air conditioning is working.

[@vanessawhitneypro]

@@TheThriftyWoodworker Studios should always be COLD... Especially for comedy.

[@sparkythancztwise]

I love hearing I wasn't the only one that was loving that sweater. Lots of his sweaters look super soft and comfy yet elegant.

[@sparkythancztwise]

This is weird, I went to cook a late dinner and now lots of comments are gone that were under other people's threads - I'd have sworn there were a couple others here under your comment earlier. I know some are missing on another, I recall them clearly and I replied to one directly and my comment with their tag is still there but all the other comments under the OP are gone. Color me confused. Oh, that's why I came back here, lol, color. Not to be argumentative, but we are jackals after all..... I'd call that blue slate or something. Isn't cornflower much more blue? Oh, LOL, I keep my laptop on night settings with the color distorted with *low* blue light and am so used to it I forget. Ah hahahahaha 😆 Now I have to switch it to see his sweater correctly!

[@NewMessage]

Donnie's bronzer and hair.. Vance's manscaping and luscious lashes... They'd make great makeover show hosts after all this.

[@Mrpibb666]

Not to mention J.D.s purrdie mouth. Trumps gonna get some use of that.

[@KarenMartin-or1sv]

@New Message Perhaps commentators on 🦊 Fix News😂

[@taratownsend6408]

Why does Vance wear eyeliner?

[@Mrpibb666]

@@taratownsend6408 it goes with his dress.

[@ProgressWillNeverBeStopped]

Extreme makeover moron edition

[@riverreynolds9987]

I'm a professional clown, and I laughed out loud at that joke!🤡⭐💡🤡 Signed, Starlight the Clown, gvl, ga.

[@LindaC616]

I love you professionals, you don't get enough respect! But those Knights of Columbus guys are creepy.....

[@Tonyhouse1168]

NOTHING slows down bar service like espresso martinis with fresh-made coffee. 25 years in the bar/restaurant business and I don’t miss them AT ALL.

[@guyvizard549]

Earlier today, I think a local CBS affiliate ran with the headline "Who is J.D. Vance?" I wrote, "Depends on who's asking."

[@gamepapa1211]

Enn double-A double-U pee. "N A A W P." I hate that THAT took me awhile. Bravo, Seth! The Council of Jackals approves!

[@MikesOrganicVideos]

Thank you for not blurring out or pixelating Seth ‘s extended middle fingers. I’ve always found that ridiculous.

[@johnnyhunter]

Considering there's even a middle finger emoji on everyone's phones.

[@staomruel]

​@johnnyhunter check out your hands 🙌

[@rosshalz]

Correction : that one person in the text chain with green bubbles is not necessarily on a Samsung... Any android will do it. Also go cry to apple about this. They're the ones keeping it this way Edit:Also Seth said Samsung Galaxy X4 towards the end of ya burnt ,but I'm sure he meant S4 because there is no phone called Galaxy X4. Additionally the note 7 was the phone that notoriously caught fire , not the galaxy S4.

[@LindaC616]

Exactly My S5 was amazing and if it had not been stolen I'm convinced it would still be working today! When I had to replace it because it was stolen, I insisted that they give me an S10 because I already knew about the S7 and wasn't having it

[@jcjunglebob]

Or switch to a non-apple device so you don't have these issues in the first place.

[@frankandstein8618]

Seth, your privilege is showing in your snobbish criticism of Android.

[@nancyharrison9686]

Happily watching this on my android brick

[@alrightyru]

Oohhh! Multiple Corrections! 😂

[@KingBobXVI]

I like how you can hear at the end of Ya Burnt where the audio guy didn't hit the buzzer on time, Seth getting mighty worried he's going to have to ad-lib some dunks on Swifties and invite their wrath for a couple seconds until the guy remembered the buzzer :P

[@Dan_Boston]

Vance looks like if Eric and Don Jr. had a baby

[@freedom4063]

😂😂😂

[@SandeepMohammedAli]

😂😂🤣🤣 CLASSIC COMMENT!

[@specialagentorange4329]

Men cant have babies

[@sherinameless1618]

J.D. Vance WAS working for the aliens, but even they thought he was too slimy to tolerate.

[@Elwaves2925]

@shady-381 I know this isn't the topic but both these comments are so close regarding what I say about Piers Morgan. Back on topic, J.D. Vance is the reason why aliens would attack us on arrival.

[@kelst75]

Why are so many of the Republicans so slimy? Gaetz, Vance, Jordan. Major ick factors.

[@SandeepMohammedAli]

@@Elwaves2925 cant stand piers morgan

[@Elwaves2925]

@@SandeepMohammedAli Yeah, I'm right there with you.

[@lucylim5047]

Vote Diligently and Protect Our Country & Future of Our family!!!😊😊😊

[@reptilianoverlord418]

The jokes with Wally are my favorite.

[@Mister_Listener]

I am always slightly annoyed by them, lol.

[@richardhendrix1274]

Don't blame the person with the Samsung, blame Apple for not accepting modern texting protocols.

[@ArcticGnome-iw4ds]

Apple is still trying to figure out USB technology. Texting protocols will take them a while.

[@mrjohndangerpowers]

If Iphones didn't arbitrarily make texting with non-iphones worse in order make their users feel superior, then people might realize that $1200 is a brain dead amount to spend on a phone.

[@witchypoorose5196]

🙌🏻

[@jonathanolson6237]

Add in the fact the current culture of iPhone users shaming Android users has undoubtedly caused more than a few to make the switch. I imagine that they're actually trying to do the opposite, and are actually looking for more reasons to make Android users look 'odd'.

[@26beegee]

Trump never learned anything about governing, economics or democracy and Vance has only 18 months of political experience. What could go wrong? 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@kyallon1213]

They’re both figureheads, neither of them will have to make a decision if they win

[@zedmelon]

​@@kyallon1213 It's with a heavy heart I upvote your (astute) comment.

[@terrygrant9140]

@@kyallon1213 You've confused them with Biden and Harris.

[@brandonbauder6157]

Joe had 47 and look how thay bs worked

[@frogman7986]

Biden has how many decades in office and since he’s taken presidency hasn’t contributed to bettering the economy or democracy 💀

[@Scribblerjohnny]

Vance looks like the third preset for a video game character

[@sebastianalemar6972]

I bet Tim Scott is crying in his room since Trump didn’t pick him. 😂

[@sigil8386]

Tim Scott humiliated himself so badly auditioning for the job of VP that he better be in his room thinking about he did and reevaluating his life choices.

[@MsWarriordiva]

He'd NEVER pick a woman or African American!!!.

[@istdochallesegal3427]

​@@MsWarriordiva It's not a "black job"!!!

[@thunderousapplause]

yeah but now he doesnt have to marry a woman.

[@brenta2634]

With or without his "finance?" 🤔

[@guyvizard549]

J.D. Vance looks like a full-grown Cabbage-Patch Kid.

[@nathanlitt1905]

corrections did you say su-du-ko? I feel like im having a stroke

[@ccaiti1057]

Correction: the iphone woes you had are all design flaws due to the iphone

[@The_R-n-I_Guy]

Please tell me that Vance has to give up his seat in Ohio now that he's running for VP. We don't want him in Ohio

[@fionarobertson8841]

he only has to if Trump wins

[@dr.g3860]

Since he's not up for reelection this year, he'll keep his senate seat if the former president loses in November. If they win, Governor DeWine will appoint a replacement senator to fill his seat. House members cannot run for reelection in the house if they decide to run in a senate primary, though, which is why Katie Porter will no longer be serving in congress next year.

[@DonnaCarroll-w2s]

Thank you my sentiment also. Fake Hillbilly and the anti-christ both need to learn how much they are despised.

[@tarain417land]

We don't want him in the WH either.

[@wendyharvey6417]

Hope so. Vance is just a younger frump.🤮

[@timothyball3144]

He chose Vance BECAUSE Vance compared him to the guy with the mustache. He knows that Vance just gets him

[@paulyricca3881]

👨🏼‍🦰IM EATING A HAMBURGER 🍔 👴🏻🥃 I WANT A SALAMI ON RYE WID A KOSHER PICKLE ON THE SIDE.

[@LindaC616]

😅

[@jeanspur]

So weirdly true.

[@richardgann5400]

What a Pycho and Sociopath he Is. Everyone can See That.

[@D.MichelleBoydston]

I think he chose him because he thinks Vance is not that smart and he can always throw him under the magat bus if he wants to. Vance was stupid not to listen to his own words.

[@wanderingseth]

OMG gold medal to whoever wrote that 1812 Overture joke 😂

[@BrittanyShandsBritbiglin]

Me and my husband (Justin Shands) had to rewind several times to make sure Seth wasn't putting him on blast.

[@frankandstein8618]

I'm beginning to think that tree frogs don't even migrate.

[@sherinameless1618]

I have a report on migrating tree frogs due tomorrow, and I was counting on Seth giving me the info I needed. Now I will just fail Science, and have to join the GOP. Thanks for nothing, Seth!

[@starksandrecreation]

Top results on the goog are about Ya Burnt, below that there’s only one source that indicates they “migrate up to deep crevices as far as 12 m (39 ft) away from streams” so I guess if you count traveling the length of a school bus migrating 🤷‍♀️

[@sparkythancztwise]

😄

[@sherinameless1618]

I stand by my opinion that J.D. Vance looks like a young Steve Bannon.

[@paulchamberlain8355]

Bannon looks like he lives in the trash can next to Oscar the grouch

[@antondovydaitis2261]

Speaking of which, I hear Bannon has taken to wearing two pairs of pants in prison.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@antondovydaitis2261 Good observation. And how many shirts do they issue to inmates, because Steve will need to wear them all.

[@datyellaman447]

Wait until Maga finds out his wife is Indian 😂😂😂

[@alrightyru]

VANCE'S SON IS NAMED VIVEK 😂 ... How will they hide that one?

[@Xhumed]

They have, and they're reacting about how you'd expect.

[@itsROMPERS...]

Or, as the MAGAs call people like her, "black". And his kids, whom we were refer to as "mixed race" they call "half-breeds".

[@guyman1570]

Easy, make up a fake white name like Nikki instead of Nimatra 😂

[@バーンズエリック]

Eh.... most of them still have no idea his daughter converted to Judaism.... MAGA is full of schlemiels....

[@Alex-js5lg]

Seth's night giggling sounds like Tucker Carlson laughing.

[@syntaxerror9994]

There's an adult coloring book that's nothing but single curse words in large complex letters.

[@BognaZone]

I have that one!!!

[@archmage_of_the_aether]

Sounds very childish, doesn't it. Swearing is what children think about adulthood.

[@thomastaipliadis8533]

Honestly, I am kind of disappointed that the stegosaurus joke didn't involve Nicholas Cage.

[@LindaC616]

Same!

[@starksandrecreation]

Maybe he’s saving that joke for corrections?

[@syniron6670]

I did expect that.

[@thomastaipliadis8533]

​@@starksandrecreation well, the auction is this week, we have time until Thursday to make it to this week's Corrections, so there's still hope 🤞

[@lyndscar7693]

My god, unhinged Seth makes me so happy. Best part of my day.

[@davidbutler1622]

Your day must suck ass

[@zencowboy27]

Hi Seth, professional guide here. I'll take you birding (not birdwatching) next time you take another one of those ill-timed vacations.

[@Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1]

Good one👍!

[@unclegnar]

CORRECTION: It’s called birding, not birdwatching. It’s more than just watching. It also includes listening for calls, identifying different species, keeping lists of birds seen, and photography.

[@DrWhom]

in the UK a bird is also a girl, and birdwatching is just that

[@kenjcordero]

Is birding like fishing? Do you catch and release?

[@csheadtrip]

Seth's cursed nightgiggling sounds like Tucker Carlson's laugh.

[@LindaC616]

I mean, is there anything creepier?

[@razzledazzyl]

So JD Vance is Trump’s VP choice and will potentially have the ear of the next President? Funny, I didn’t even see him pick it up off that stage on Saturday.

[@h0lly_blue]

he was an inch too short

[@Kc-dq7zj]

😆😆💀

[@sherinameless1618]

Boo! Okay, it made me laugh, but still. . . ☺

[@paulyricca3881]

👴🏻🥃 WEAR DUH WHITE WOMEN AT?

[@razzledazzyl]

@@sherinameless1618 Yeah, I know, it was a little tone deaf.

[@gaufqwi]

CORRECTION: You forgot the "Sponsored by Apple" tag at the end of Ya Burnt.

[@scottwebb7477]

Right? Us lowly Samsung users couldn't possibly grasp what a screenshot is or how to video chat. That must only be available on the totally not overpriced and under powered iPhones. 🙄

[@warrenmoore6435]

I thought I was the only one caught that bs, I've always owed android and have samsung phone and watch, definitely sponsored by Apple

[@rvdb7363]

I didn't even know until this segment that Apple phones find it too difficult to properly handle texts from Android phones. I couldn't tell you who the Apple or Android users are in my group chats. My Android phone displays all of them in the colour scheme I selected.

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@rvdb7363 Thanks, I was wondering and you answered a question I asked on another thread. I never understood why or how the whole mocking thing over phones got started. And now it's quite a burn to find out that the ones who do the most mocking (that I've seen) are apparently the ones who are authentically ripe for it. So curious how (or if?) all these corrections the android users have made will come up on Thursday!

[@johnnyhunter]

Do you need a tissue? It's a joke, bud.

[@seantlewis376]

I hope Wally gets a little bonus every time he is mentioned. He's as good as a sidekick.

[@TheThirdPrice]

Uh oh, jackals definitely use Android phones Seth

[@lnsflare1]

As an Android user, I'm smugly remembering the time that Seth treated the iPhone rolling out Swyping like it was cutting edge alien technology rather than something I had been using for years by that point.

[@simonsancartier7417]

Choosing iPhones over Android just for blue bubbles will forever prove to me iPhone users know nothing and do not care to learn

[@studiodreamken]

It's ok, let the Apple cultists enjoy their koolaid.

[@DeepSubmerge]

Fess up, which one of you is Justin?

[@zelgadis55tmnt35]

@@studiodreamken I prefer to think of it as them paying extra for a status symbol because something else in their lives is a little too small for their liking XD

[@n.r.m.15]

I'm the only member in my family, not using an iPhone. But Idgaf. I still use my Samsung. I've dropped it in the toilet, the sink, the bathtub, and probably a million other times in 5 yrs. (I have an issue with breaking things) I paid 80 dollars for it. It's still hanging in there without a scratch. 💪 My sons 300 dollar iPhone got dropped once on soft flooring and never worked again. ✌️😂😂😂

[@russellknox5666]

Night giggling = Tucker Carlson laugh

[@pollytiks3885]

And now I will have nightmares. 😱

[@ytgytgy]

@@pollytiks3885 you've been night-giggled

[@jeremygregorio7472]

Fun fact Trump fell asleep at the convention just like he did at his trial

[@paulchamberlain8355]

He was praying. 😂😂😂😂

[@intheeyeofthebeholder]

Trump was the man arrested for falling asleep in the Taco Bell drive-through. 😴

[@ClaudiaAnn-uk5dv]

LIE

[@brenta2634]

He's pulling a Sleepy Joe, now?

[@Danny-lr1yg]

He was praying, something godless leftists know nothing about

[@nelson-haha89]

"Sounds like you need some tootaledge, because you're an onionbrain" this is going directly into my daily vernacular.

[@guyvizard549]

J.D. Vance always looks like he's going to his own bar mitzvah.

[@chady77077]

He grew up poor, joined the army to protect American, believes in a good God, and is a Yale grad. Sounds like they won the lotto with him. Meanwhile Joe and Kamala are "professional politicians" they dont have any other skills except TAKING YOUR MONEY.

[@valramos2003]

Best Ya Burnt segment in a while. Thank you, writers!

[@kyusshead]

Android users just chuckle to ourselves like a knowing dad. IPhone = Duplos

[@fimbulsummer]

Actually, Seth, espresso martinis are a quintessential Australian cocktail, combining the elements of snobbish coffee appreciation and booze. Yet again you choose to goad us. 🏴‍☠️ 🇦🇺 The JackAULS will not forget

[@Batters56]

My brain genuinely went “Brunt?” When Seth said B U R N T

[@BenDenkBJVICEWORSCHT]

Seths night giggling sounds like a Tucker Carlson laugh (does that mean he is a Night Tucker Carlson?)

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Political ads against Trump come from "J.P. Mandell" (a.k.a. J.D. "Mascara" Vance) himself.

[@DennisMoore664]

J.D. Vance - so much for unity.

[@wendyharvey6417]

@@DennisMoore664 Exactly!

[@freedom4063]

Read he's very bad ?😢

[@sharongarrett4356]

White male unity

[@DennisMoore664]

@@freedom4063 Very very

[@freedom4063]

@@DennisMoore664 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏I'm confused why Trump picked JD ?? I GOOGLED HIM AND I'M TERRIFIED 😨 he better not be against Trump

[@razzledazzyl]

Wally would never!

[@paulyricca3881]

👗⬅️ YOURS?

[@YearsinSeason]

Wally is no dummy! Money up front, no questions.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@YearsinSeason I saw Wally's ad in Variety: "Freelance Cue Card Man for hire. Your words on cards for $1 a letter - no judgement. References will not be provided, as my current employer is not cool."

[@Sofia.K.CheerYT]

The buzz when he got to the Swifties 😂

[@ALLENCEE4]

Seth was stalling getting to the swifties 😂 till conveniently “out of time”

[@pennyelaines]

SWIFTIES WHAT????👀👀👀 Lol!!! Nice save! 😂😂😅

[@Darthplastic]

I have been a silent jackal for far too long. iPhone users rave about basic quality of life upgrades that come trickling down when Android users have had them for almost 10 years. As The Godfather said in the Coppola Cut "Seth. You're my favorite late night host and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against Android users again. YA BURNT!"

[@JH-tz5hy]

I feel like he's just trying to stir up some drama for Corrections material, I swear most jackals must be Android users

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@JH-tz5hy ding ding ding, we have a winner! Little to no doubt in between my jackal ears that you're spot on.

[@sparkythancztwise]

Love that you got to howling finally! 🐾🐾

[@davidstevenson9986]

@@JH-tz5hy Most people with smart phones in general are Android users, it's better by every metric. Besides Apple is super evil and should be boycotted by anyone with basic decency.

[@jimmyfuhrman407]

Seth would make a great Secretary of State!

[@jonathanraithel5726]

Correction: medieval Scots did not paint their faces for battle. That was the Roman era Picts and Gaels in Scotland. The movie just added it for drama. So in reality, they have even less in common.

[@Seasidecc95437]

1960’s former kid here…Sparklers USED to be EPIC…..but you youngsters will never know.

[@cademackey6095]

As far as being treated like toilet paper, JD is perfect!!

[@chady77077]

If you think the VP of Trump isnt winning the lottery you don't have a clue about US Politics.

[@michaellombardi1620]

Theres more similarities to Trump and Mel Gibson than there is Braveheart

[@brenta2634]

This

[@timd729]

Mel Gibson = Braveheart = Trump. How hard is this to understand?

[@gmun2248]

​@@timd729 'Braveheart' = William Wallace, a real person in history & a freedom fighter for Scotland. Your comment ignores history. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Also, we really dislike trump over here, & we still sing about William Wallace in our national anthem.

[@timd729]

@@gmun2248 Braveheart, despite being a real person was also a movie with Mel Gibson. It wasn't exactly historically accurate. Great movie similar to gladiator with Russell crowe. Mel Gibson is the William Wallace people know, that's why people make so many memes and references to that movie. So William Wallace = Mel Gibson. Forget about the original William Wallace, History doesn't know all that much about him.

[@gmun2248]

@timd729 I live less that a mile from 'Wallace's Cave' in Midlothian. It's a major attraction. I grew up going on school trips to Stirling Castle and Bannockburn. As I said, Scotland's national anthem is literally about that time ("...Proud Edward's army/ Sent them homewards/ Tae think again.") Try telling any Scottish person people don't know that history. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Tim Scott went to all the trouble of proposing to a woman on a beach with a photographer present for nothing (mainly to dispel rumors of being similar to Lindsey Graham). No refunds, Tim!

[@sigil8386]

At least he's now allowed to "break up" with her.

[@SpaceForceCommander]

@@sigil8386 And she can move back to Canada.

[@sparkythancztwise]

What rumors? Is there a rumor that Lindsey Graham only got married to advance his political career decades ago?

[@Eileen.Nunya.Bizz1]

​@@SpaceForceCommanderThe Niagara Falls area 🤣!

[@sheilaking5608]

Not me ready to fight at “Swifties” ….😂😂😂

[@sunny8307]

Seth and Ben - this is my favorite segment! We need your humor and fun now more than ever. I appreciate every laugh you give me. 💜

[@All_Loves_Lost]

Seth you are the best-! I love this show-! ❤

[@1st2nd2]

The fossil joke was not another Nicholas Cage reference. I am shocked.

[@aaroncrilly2005]

Picking JD Vance will be a decision that Trump will regret.

[@paulyricca3881]

👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

[@DSAK55]

you think Trump may meet an unforeseen "event" ?

[@MsWarriordiva]

We won't. It will lose trumpian votes!! 😅

[@johnrhodes5914]

Why?? JD Vance has proven he will kowtow to trump. The guy has absolutely no self respect.

[@oldschoolman1444]

A lot of maga don't like JD's America borne wife of Indian decent.

[@luisfrau9810]

I’m more and more convinced that Tantrump is as tired of being president as the country is tired of him. So, should he be elected, how soon can he resign and get a pardon from Vance.

[@mikevanderman2727]

Jajajajajaja that's how we talk in Nicaraguan English creole: "Hey yu memba da time?" (Hey, do you remember that time?)

[@JasonDeline]

I'll never understand the iPhone owner rage against non-Apple phones.

[@LindaC616]

Me either. My first phone was a Galaxy s5, and if it had not been stolen, I am certain it would still be alive today. It once spent 40 minutes underwater and worked perfectly fine! I've had two or three since then that did not last as long as the five and every time I mention it, the sales people say with Nostalgia "yeah that was a really good phone...."

[@JasonDeline]

@@LindaC616 I had it too! The best!

[@LindaC616]

@@JasonDeline I still miss it! And I had a Lil Bub phone case on it too!

[@Taurusus]

Is there something special about the way iPhones do a screencap that would make that joke make sense, or are Apple users so out of touch they think Android doesn't have that capability?

[@zelgadis55tmnt35]

Because it reminds them that they are paying extra for a status symbol because something else in their lives is a little too small for their liking XD

[@erf3176]

Vance meant the Hitler thing as a compliment.

[@calinasagilitypartner4444]

Trump absolutely 100% wants to be more infamous than Hitler.

[@johnnyhunter]

He certainly did not, but Trump may very well be taking it as one.

[@l0zz1em0zzi3]

I love to imagine that Baze has an overwhelming folder on his laptop of things that JD Vance looks like teehee

[@tanadarko6991]

"WALLY NO!!!!" had me laughing for a good solid 10 seconds

[@danismithmn]

Ahh yes, the highest form of humor: iPhone snobbery. SO FUNNY! Also, jackal here saying it's Sue-doe-koo, NOT Sue-due-ko! What, is it 2005 and the first time you've seen the word?

[@revengefrommars]

9:44 Correction: it's "sudoku" not "suduko".

[@bethchaosdragon7842]

Hey, my friends and I already make adult naps a thing.

[@Taurusus]

In Australia it's called a "Nanna Nap".

[@diegojines-us9pc]

trump didnt pick him. he picked her, his wife who clerked for 2 of trumps supreme court judges, and anyone votes for trump. this JR senator will become the head of the senate if they win, two newbies running things in DC.

[@alrightyru]

THIS 👆 ..Vance's wife!

[@karenlebeter4196]

If DJT steps out of line, he will be declared with Dementia. Then J D Vance gets to be Prez.

[@sknkwrksowner]

Wally needs to publish his font! It kind of looks like Shultz's style for 'Peanuts' (newspaper edition from the 70/80s)!

[@JamesMattJohn]

Correction: You said Sudoku wrong

[@ch20youk]

Between this and harakiri, Japanese really isn't Seth's strong suit 😛

[@talyzara]

I wanted to comment the same 😂 I'm sure he knew this was going to be on corrections 0,1 seconds after he said it

[@razzledazzyl]

Coffee flavoured chips? Can’t wait to see Baze try those.

[@dustinsmith93]

Apple recently rebranded the Notes App as a Password Manager. Bruh, you can try and shade Samsung but anyone who is stuck with an iPhone in 2024 prolly drives a cyber truck.

[@C2C.]

😂

[@KatySueWho]

Ya Burnt is literally in my top three favorite bits that Seth does on here! That one where he did all 90s stuff I absolutely died😂 And this one was great too!

[@erikg8526]

Seth the Samsung Galaxy S4 came out 11 years ago and it still has more features than your iPhone.

[@JoseRodriguez-dx4pb]

The way he stumbled over the Swifties 💀💀💀

[@jelenko07]

I knew he was not gonna go there. Us Swifties may be the second craziest crowd to us Jackals 😂

[@sherinameless1618]

@@jelenko07 Are you a Swiftie Jackal? Remind me to never cross you! 😉

[@jelenko07]

@@sherinameless1618 😂😂😂😂😂

[@specialkali]

Swiftie jackal here too! I knew he wouldn’t actually go there but I waited til the end just in case….

[@JoseRodriguez-dx4pb]

@@specialkali ah no, the last one is always cut off, but I've noticed it's always him going after something universally loved and wholesome, honestly my eyes widened but I knew it wasn't happening😅😅

[@LordVenic]

CORRECTION (Potentially): For some reason, I feel like this may have been addressed in a previous episode of Corrections. But just in case, I thought I’d comment anyway. The KZbin channel’s description still says that Mr. Meyers is the longest serving anchor on SNL’s “Weekend Update.” However, I believe Colin Jost (and maybe Che?) passed him a while ago. Jackal out. P.S. Why did you pronounce “Sudoku” like “Seduko”? Yay for bonus corrections!

[@LingLing-xy5pf]

I don’t think that’s been covered before… Good catch!

[@LordVenic]

@@LingLing-xy5pf Great, thanks!

[@gamgeegirl3195]

My 3rd graders really want nap time to be reinstated! Makes me giggle! They say “why do the pre-schoolers get to have naps! I want naps!!” 😂