Learning to let go of control

If you stay up late obsessing over situations, friendships, and your life, this video is for you. -- Hey! Abii here. Throughout a majority of my life, I've struggled with letting go of the belief that I could control and predict the events that happened in my life. I was scared that if I let go of control, something bad would happen and my life would fall apart. If you're looking to find relief, happiness, and motivation through letting go of control, this is exactly what you need to hear. You can learn how to let go of things you can't control, focus on what you can control, and trust that things will work out.
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Links: linktr.ee/abiibastian
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0:00 - Intro
0:44 - A Reminder
0:55 - What It Means
1:12 - Why It's Important
1:36 - My Own Struggle
4:31 - Finding the Why
6:53 - The Shift
8:53 - The Solutions
11:12 - The Results
12:37 - I Need Your Help
13:32 - Support For You
14:13 - Recap
15:14 - Outro

[@AbiiBastian]

Hey Everyone! On a scale from 'control freak' to 'totally zen', where are you at today? haha. I know it may feel like you are alone but you aren't

[@marileelouisemans2453]

control freak all the way, i accidentally stumbled upon this video and it was honestly such a eye opener. thank you

[@AbiiBastian]

@@marileelouisemans2453 I’m so glad it helped ❤️ thank you for sharing! It’s hard to open ourselves up but when we do it’s relieving ❤️❤️ if you are looking for support we would love to have you in the server ☺️ You’re awesome !!

[@alexandra-gu6ex]

I've been living a rough period lately, so thank you for this shift of perspective.

[@AbiiBastian]

Of course! I’m so happy I could help ❤️❤️ ALSO! I’m so proud of you for pushing though ☺️ you’ve got this!

[@roddsantos_]

I'm going through a really difficult time and your video came out of nowhere - it was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks

[@AbiiBastian]

I’m so glad it helped ❤️❤️ and that it popped up for you ☺️❤️ keep going you’ve got this!!!

[@jenniferapitz1333]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and real. Your self awareness is so refreshing and your insights are valuable✨

[@AbiiBastian]

Of course ❤ ☺️

[@NikiWinProd]

I'm currently struggling very much. I'm meditating and journaling every day but I don't feel like it's doing much. I feel myself hopeless in life and finding social interactions is hard.

[@AbiiBastian]

First, I just want to say, thank you for sharing! It’s really inspiring to me that you shared what you are going through. I understand what you are going through! I’ve done so many things at once and made sure I was consistent as well with what I was doing (meditating, being mindful, journaling, reading, skincare, etc) I didn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling my better since I was staying consistent. The one thing that I looked away from was taking a break to sit and be with myself, and to find out why I was thinking things like “I’m not good enough”, “i suck at making friends”, “I’m going to do nothing with my life”, etc. I didn’t acknowledge how I was feeling and didn’t want to try to figure out why because It didn’t make sense to. The day I decided to figure out why I was thinking and feeling those things, was the day I started to feel the change. Now it might not help you in the same way as me, but it might lead you to something that will. I’d love to see you in my discord so we could talk more there ❤️ keep going! You are absolutely amazing ☺️

[@thaiczd]

I relate so much to this, for context I am in year 9, next year im moving schools and for most of my years in the school I am, I always had the same 4 friends, one eventually decided to kind of leave the group, she wasnted to meet and spend time with other people, and my bestfriend before we even became a group had to change schools after year 8, so bassically I was in a trio, a trio where I felt like i wanst apreciatted by these people, constantly felt ignored and my feelings were constantly dismissed, until my last straw and I decided to block these people over a break from 1 semester to the second, all of that combined led to an argument with one of them so had broken apart, I wanted to let this person go but I was still in denial about how our future would be, I have spent almost every single day with these girls for over 5 or 6 years. At a point I had feelings for this one girl, (and I am actually still friends with the other one btw), so at first I was like "maybe its a win because it was hurting me, being her friend but also knowing I ve looked at her at a different way for 3 years". Because I had devoted my whole love to this friendship, last month i entered a world of loniless, where i felt hummiliated to some times have to be alone at school, feeling extremely anxious because my day would not go as planned. And for the record I ve always been like this, but the feeling had amplified, before I would worry about wether or not I did mondune things like. remember to bring lunch, or a specific object or clothe to school. And it might seem shalow but those little things already made me feel sooooo anxious, even when I "had" friends. Anyways as i was saying last month I was the embodiement of intense anxiety, wanting to cry every instant, couldnt study, couldnt be in class and not feel anxious, feeling like i was worthless because "what if she hated me" "she wont take me back". And she didn, even tho all I did was be honest about the way that they were treating me had hurt me, and now she avoids me , doesnt respond to texts and blocked me on instagram. Right now I am in a stage where I just flat out hate her. I hate the fact that know I want but cant seem to be able to make new friends, as much as i would not be her friend anymore if she were to come back, I still cant believe that she abondoned me, and bassically just expects the other friend (of the trio) to stay with her all of the time. I dont recognise her anymore, but that doesnt really matter. Also because of my sadness I started hyperfixated and onbsessing over a ºperson and now because they arent available to me, I am left feeling hurt (Ive never even tried talk to him, because I would b+get too nevrvous). Currently asked the one friend I have to introduce me to other people from other classes and Im going to try my best to manage my anxiety and build confidence (idk how beecause I loved so much my old friendships and I never thought that we would stop talking). I think Imk feeling a bit pressured to socialize tho because theres a trip in like two weeks where I just dont want to feel anxious and alone. and another social event after my last exam. Things are slowly looking up but its def all on the mind, nothing physically changed, I can say I learned and still am learning a lot because of losing her, and eventually I just got tired of crying because of her, feeling hopeless and miserable, and blamimg myself for whst happened or thinking that im not good enough to meet new people. thanks for the space to vent

[@AbiiBastian]

First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story and what’s going on for you ❤️ I totally understand the loss of a close friend. It’s so hard to know which path to go down next when the person walking that path with you isn’t there anymore. The way I got through losing friends was letting myself feel all the emotions I was having about it and it seems like you are doing that, which is amazing! It is very healthy to let yourself feel everything you are feeling. My mom always told me that if you have unsaid words to say to someone who isn’t in your life anymore write them down on paper, like you are writing them a letter and then afterwards fold it up and burn it. I always imagine as the paper turns to ash and the smoke is floating away that those words and feelings and thoughts are leaving me and going out into the world so I can release them. You are absolutely so very strong for going through all of that! And keep me updated on how the upcoming social events go! If you ever have an anxiety attack or panic attack coming on try saying a statement that is true like “the sky is blue” and then a statement you want to be true like “I am safe” or you could try doing the 5 senses. What are 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 things you can taste. When I was dealing with high levels of social anxiety and regular panic attacks I would use both of those and they really helped me distract myself long enough to calm down. I hope that helps ❤️❤️ You are a beautiful soul keep your head up because things will get better

[@mancobot9690]

Hablo español, y trato de aprender inglés viendo videos en inglés, y me apareció este video, y me gustó bastante tu contenido, muy buen video

[@AbiiBastian]

Going to be totally honest with you, I had to use google translate, BUT that is an awesome way to learn English!! I’m so happy you liked the video ❤️❤️ ☺️

[@a320nick]

I lurve your glasses 🌺

[@AbiiBastian]

awww thank you

[@user-cd8ks5fo1q]

thanks for your video abii

[@AbiiBastian]

Of course, always here

[@AbiiBastian]

Always here for you ❤️☺️

[@PushpendraYadav-yh3uw]

Great video! .... Hit the like button and also subscribed this wonderful channel ❤

[@AbiiBastian]

Awe thank you so much ❤️❤️ I really appreciate your support !!

[@prathamagarwal4808]

But how do you let go of that timeline deadlines of the goals u decided. And how you act towards them after letting go.. Any suggestions? And being honest u look pretty young like 16-17

[@AbiiBastian]

I know I look young 😭 I’m actually 20 Now like I said, your journey is yours and something that worked for me might not work in the same way for you. For me letting go of my deadlines for the goals I have started with realizing that the universe has my back. I may be working towards my goals everyday but that does not mean that the timing is right. I have experienced that the universe works in mysterious ways. The thing I did was fully put my trust in that my goals will work out and be achieved in the way that I want, and to let go of worrying about when it will happen. I now put my focus in consistent action and to remind myself daily that the universe has my back, and will give me the things I’m working towards. Let me know if you have anymore questions ❤️ I might be able to help brainstorm some ways to help you let go of those deadlines. Let me know ☺️❤️

[@prathamagarwal4808]

@@AbiiBastian First of all thanks for the reply. Glad I commented and came across this beautiful video. And yea I forgot a few things that pushed me towards my goals and doing it restlessly without seeing any results, again thanking you that I was reminded of my damm thing. And how it pushed me further and further and further everytime. And one more thing after commenting I went on to spend some time with my grandma. She somehow realized that I am in pain and started telling me stories of my father and grandfather. I guess that was enough to realize that universe and god has always have my back. And they will push me forward and bring solution everytime there is a problem. Thanks I came across video and went to talk with my grandma. And what are your take on pride? Self-pride? And introducing myself I am from India.. Wbu??

[@AbiiBastian]

@@prathamagarwal4808 that is wonderful!! So glad that you came to that conclusion! ❤️ Great question! My take on self-pride, I would love to do a video about it! But in short I think self-pride is very important in my eyes. As a kid I would seek out approval from my friends and family. I would “need” them to say they are proud of me for me to be proud of myself for accomplishing something. I would constantly seek external validation from everyone around me and it caused my mental health to take a turn for the worse. After many years like this I told myself I would change this about myself and start seeking inward validation. I told myself I was proud of myself even if I wasn’t and after a while I didn’t need someone to be proud of me anymore. So self-pride is really important to me, it keeps me pushing myself hard and to get better! Say hi to your grandma for me ☺️ and WOW India! That’s awesome! I’m from the United States 😛

[@prathamagarwal4808]

@@AbiiBastian Dammm....🫡🫡🫡I would love to see this more in video. At what age you started realizing all this?and rather than KZbin do you also have a job Or you are a student? It must be nice living in United States 🥹.

[@Herlock07]

You need therapy. You first need to "get healed" lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AbiiBastian]

I agree that therapy does help, but I didn’t get therapy until I was 17. I healed a lot on my own. Therapy is good for things that you can’t bring up by yourself or don’t have the tools yourself to deal with. So if you are going through a lot i definitely recommend therapy. But therapy only works if you take the initiative to heal. So starting your healing journey is the very first step in healing ☺️ thanks for pointing out therapy! I’ll have to mention it in my next video ❤️☺️