Learning to LOVE YOURSELF - How to go from Self Hate to Self Love - Terri Cole

[@lainiegudino4506]

I cried the whole entire video because before this video, I didn't realize why I felt so empty all my life. Why I never had long term relationships, why I am very sensitive and let my sensitivity take over my actions. Thank you so much for opening my heart and my eyes to see my inner child.

[@ashwinjoshy7035]

How are u doing now..?

[@onyxiscrazy]

I absolutely burst into tears when it came to holding my younger self on my lap. I don't think anyone ever did. Absolutely nobody held me, or hugged me or told me I was loved. Hugging to this day is a boundary I have a hard time with. It breaks me down, almost everytime.

[@sabatanasilele7088]

I didn't know I had Self hate till now when I tried to record my first KZbin video and hated everything I saw about me while loudly hearing the voices of my Primary school and Secondary Teachers telling me how ugly I was and comparing me to my friend. I didn't know what these two Teachers told me had a negative impact on me all this while. Thank you Terri for the video.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending you courage so you can hit record when you are ready again 💕

[@arminegasparyan1619]

Thank you, Terri. As always, you are amazing! Thank you sooooo much for your love and advice. Take Care of you.

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@ReignFawn]

You totally get it, after watching hundreds of youtube videos no one hit it on the nail. After being abandoned at birth by my biological parents who were on drugs, and then being adopted, and then having my adopted parents die, and then being emotionally and physically abused by my adopted sibling. I am here, in this learning to love my imperfect self journey. This is not the end of my story, this is just apart of my past that has unfortunately shaped how I see and talk to myself today. When I closed my eyes I saw that little girl who used to smile and dance awkwardly, she was soo free and I want to get to know her again. I want to hold her hand and say I am sorry and most of all love her unconditionally. Thank you

[@terri_cole]

Dominique, Thank you so much for this powerful share. Your story is inspiring and the resiliency of your spirit just shines off of your picture!! You and your little kid inside deserve to be loved, respected and cherished and it starts with doing that for yourself. Keep up the great work, mama xo

[@medinalake6074]

Dominique Fawn Hill Sending love to you.

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

oh this is awful, you must be a super strong person. You definitely deserve love and you were with messed up people like your parents and then that sibling, just realizing how it was my messed up family, not me! Terri Cole sure is helping.

[@ekangaradhadevidasi4522]

I Hope and pray you get the peace and happiness you seek, I thought I went through it , I see others have also ... stay strong my friend

[@ashleyslayer5669]

I was also left by my parents, I think we should write a book about our lives .

[@briankee3730]

I'm a therapist in a related field. This was totally spot on and masterfully delivered. I am confident she can help and coach nearly anyone. This video was so enlightening and even educational for me as a therapist. Bravo!

[@HomeSweetCrafting]

I have listened to this video twice because it really resonated with me. I'm currently going to back to school to get my teaching credential but I struggled so much to stay on top of my academic while balancing relationships with family members, co-workers, and my partner. I felt so angry, frustrated, sad, and annoyed all the time. I agree with Torri that this negative energy made me so exhausted. Sometimes I just cried because I'm so confused about my purpose in life. I realized I needed to do something different with my life - to be that change I want to see. So I booked a flight to live in another state. I need a physical healthy boundary right now. I have lived in the same town all my life. If I stay in this same town, I know I won't make any changes to my life. Moving to another state seems extreme and scary, but I feel like I am finally listening to my body and the inner voice telling me to just let go of all the expectations from school, family, and my partner. To just let go and seek the change I want to see in myself - and that is more self-love, self-compassion, and self-worth. I am ready to start. I am open to learning.

[@terri_cole]

Right on, mama!! Space helps create clarity so good for you for taking it xoxox

[@elhadjdiallo633]

Peaple dont dont be many people are perplex and confiseded as youre....you can acquire anything you want in this universe........youre enough, you are enough ,

[@serarthurdayne9490]

Thank you so much for this video. You just described my life so perfectly. I cried for a long time after doing the exercise of visualising myself as a child. That little boy deserves so much better than I have given him, I've let him down terribly. It's time to look after him properly.

[@elismycat]

Thank-you for sharing. I have been in pyschotherapy for over 10 years....and the self loathing and feelings of worthlessness persist. These are not even thoughts...just a deep rooted feeling, nearly a certainty... My life is stuck. I am pretty much alone...I feel that if I had just one meaningful connection with someone this would give me energy to go forth in life...I feel like I'm neve enough, never good enough, pathetic a fraud, an outsider, somehow flawed. I will try your meditation, you expressed everything vey clearly and objectively. Thank-you for your time and for sharing. It is sad to see there are so many of us.......we must break the cycle. Sometimes everything is so volatile..of just wanting to die. Feeling inexistent, invisible. If I died right now....how long would it take for someone to discover I was dead?...Maybe in a couple of weeks because of the smell....That's how invisible I feel.

[@formerlyknownas123]

I cried watching this. I ached so much through this.

[@marleneclark4444]

Thank you. I spent the whole night listening to your videos. I think you are as effective and on point as Lisa Romano.

[@LukiaSl]

Your videos have opened my eyes and helped me more than months of visiting a psychotherapist. I felt that psychotherapy is getting nowhere but your words in a few minutes have been more substantial than hours of talking to my psychologist. Wish I could have you as my coach. Please keep up your work in helping so many of us around the world. PS: I cried when I visualized myself hugging myself as a little child. I've never done that before and it's sad.

[@carmenl163]

Same here. I've been in psychotherapy for two years now, and not once did my therapist mention the possibility of my mom being mentally ill. I had to figure that out myself.

[@scolibratarius]

I'm in tears

[@terri_cole]

Michelle, Sending you good energy, mama xo

[@abhisheknarvaria6567]

Same here

[@JamesandHarry]

Me too

[@vickidennison3569]

I was, too

[@TheGodsgarden]

Wow, it was so strong. I did the exercise (put the hand over my heart, saw myself as a kid & embraced the kid with love) & tears were brought to my eyes immediately. It was amazing. Thanks Terri, I love your videos.

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for sharing, and for being here with us. I'm so glad to hear that!

[@OneMeInMyself]

You left me in tears. Thank you so much. I really did not expect to find such a quality video on KZbin. Wow, thank you so much! 💗

[@joanbartolo3473]

This particular video has touched me deeply. I am so blessed to have come across your videos. I can never thank you enough for these kind words. They are just what I needed to put me on the right track.

[@terri_cole]

Warms my heart to know the vids are helping you, Joan. I am so happy you're here with us!

[@angelfi]

I second that! Thank you, Terri! 💓

[@Bridgebuild]

Love Love Terri .. So compassionate and loving ! thank you.

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

My NMother would say you don't need anything, you are strong like your Dad, ya don't need anything. She was the only one who could need anything. Now I know why I never did ask for anything or think I had needs. I can change this now. Thanks so much for this video, it has meant so much to me and changed me so much just in the last week that I found you.

[@TheUtopia77]

That's why I can't do any therapy, I'm all in tears and I just can't and won't do this exercise. I tried, it's too hard for me. And I really don't like it, it feels too overwhelming. I need smaller steps, even though I don't have much self-hate, I just need some self-love. The best thing that appeals to me is logic, because it leads to understanding and getting the real picture. It helped me a lot when I read a topic about toxic mothers and noticed mine has same traits and actually they ALL were like from the same factory, same features, same tricks and mind games. I got so much strength reading those stories. The feeling of guilt was just gone.

[@terri_cole]

What ever works to bring you comfort and understanding is the way to go. Thank you for your comment and for being here.

[@paulabrazzell4917]

Oh my gosh! I loved this video. I'm going to check your other stuff also. I struggle with loving myself and codependency. My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago and I'm struggling still with this. So I'm trying to love myself and make a change.

[@terri_cole]

Welcome Paula! I hope you subscribed so I can cheer you on in your healing journey

[@heathercherrie]

i have been 100% my own worst enemy..especially lately....im literally breaking my own heart....I needed this so bad today...because I am not so slowly, destroying myself from the inside.

[@terri_cole]

I'm witnessing you with compassion Heather. You can make new choices now that you're aware of how you're breaking your own heart. Let this be the moment you choose something new and start your healing.

[@kelseygimberlin3609]

I was really searching for a video like this. That was going to help me start my way to truely loveing myself. Thank you so much for shareing you beautiful heart with us.

[@alinakozlova7867]

Thank you so much for this video! Love is essential for us, humans❤

[@terri_cole]

You are so welcome!

[@hhj88k26]

Terri, thanks so much for this video. It is amazing and very helpful. Can you consider making one on how to become a health coach?

[@karlaivonne6720]

Thank you so much for this. I’m so happy I found your videos 🙏🏼

[@terri_cole]

You're welcome. I'm happy you're here.

[@aml8760]

thank you terri!! light and love

[@terri_cole]

Hi Amanda! Thank you so much for being here with me. For more support please join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution, lot's of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women ) Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR

[@roykeefe3325]

This came at a good time...thank you.

[@modhurima10]

Dear Terri, where is the link to your guided meditation?

[@deb7383]

I listen to you and I thank you for all the tips, but I can't go on anymore. Bless you

[@terri_cole]

Debbie, I see you and feel your pain. If you think you are in danger of harming yourself, please reach out for help. Here is a hotline you can call anytime day or night to get support www.crisistextline.org/textline and if you are from outside of the US you can find your country's support line here www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html I am sending you strength and protection xo

[@BrazilBeachHouse]

great video Terri,you have a lovely presentation style..really draw in the viewer with lots of wise and gentle advice..please keep making these videos..lots of people will benefit..thank-you..

[@terri_cole]

Awww thanks Mike. I really appreciate you being here with me!

[@thekliciousshow]

Thank you for this. I can relate 100% . it's a hard thing to stop!

[@jasddijavier6744]

I have been watching this video and listening to it at work. 15:15 to 16:02 always gets to me. I recently lost the man I love because I can’t open up to him all the way.. he was my front line but for some reason I still let the past take over it feels like I am drowning here I had moments where l left like giving up. I know he loves me. But I kept pushing him away 😭🥺.. I numb myself with sex Netflix alcohol. I just wish I felt better about myself don’t know how l need help I feel lost

[@suegaskell-barlow1617]

Thank you Terri 🌹

[@terri_cole]

You're so welcome Sue! So glad you are here xo

[@Huu159]

what a sweetheart of a person 😊

[@terri_cole]

I could say the same about you, Akshay! thank you so much for being here with me. I appreciate you.

[@Delia-t7e]

Thank you so much, I cried because this is what I needed, thank you

[@terri_cole]

You're welcome. I am so glad you were able to receive what you needed.

[@darkfeather6857]

I was afraid to watch this because I know that I have very low self-esteem and I am deeply insecure and I have known this for at least twenty years. I remember years ago a colleague lamenting over modern day kids getting trophies for participating and saying they aren't earning their self-esteem, it's being handed to them. I remember being so confused, because I am very accomplished. I put myself through a private university and grad school with scholarships, and no help from parents. Because I was in my twenties and she was thirty years older than me, I assumed she was right that self-esteem was developed by accomplishments. The fact that I still felt shitty, made me feel even shittier. But at 10:30 mark of this video, a light went off. And now I feel like I just learned some great truth that should have been obvious years ago. But with that I realize something more important. My parents probably hate themselves, too. They also have low-self esteem and negative self-talk and they have passed it on to me. "You can't know something that nobody taught you." Wow! So powerful!

[@terri_cole]

I"m so glad to hear it resonated for you and it is creating a positive shift for you. You can still find love within yourself even if it's not coming from your parents. You have come so far and I hope you are proud of yourself for what you've accomplished so far. The external is not as important as how you build that love for yourself. I am cheering you on.

[@elhadjdiallo7533]

you right about that girl you're an amazing woman that I have seen ..... love you

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

who gets to be in the front row of your life? love this. I have narcisstic adult children, 38 and 42 who treat me like their Dad, my narcisstic ex-husband. I love them but they are so selfish and mean. They really don't give us the time of day and I have quit begging them to visit us, probably even best they don't. They are so uppity and entitled, my exhusb died and my kids were so mad he couldn't leave them money because of his health expenses. My Ndaughter tries to get money off her grandmother even though she has plenty of money, just wants more. Holidays got so bad we went away last year. Yes, sad to say but I don't need them in my front row. Nor do I need my NMom there. Limit contact for sure. Beginning to value myself, limit my contact even though they are my children, has to be that way and find friends that are supportive.

[@ndewerokrekamoo7627]

You are simply gorgeous,this video connected with me where iam.Thank you,thank you,thank you

[@shawningram6349]

Honestly I never look right at myself. I hate being naked or exposed or vulnerable in anyway. I need help.

[@valerie7074]

you just changed my life. Thank you

[@medinalake6074]

Thank you for these helpful videos.

[@terri_cole]

You're so welcome, Medina ;)

[@johntguitar]

Thank you for this!

[@Anastashya]

Thank you so much 🌹

[@staceonthecase]

Beautiful People, can someone please help me to find the link to the guided meditation for this piece?! I had a look but am not sure..

[@NaptimNate]

I can't remember the last time I cried. Like, really REALLY cried. I was a really good musician. I was even offered a record deal by a small record company. They offered to pay for everything. I played a lot of shows and had many fans. I could sit and play and write music all day long, and it was the best thing in the world. It was the only time I felt whole. But I started using drugs and alcohol at a really early age because my family told me I would amount to nothing. My teachers told me I was wasting my potential. My classmates bullied me for being short and fat. Drinking and drugs were my only escape until I fell in love with music. Once I learned to play guitar I wrote several albums. Then I taught myself other instruments. Piano, accordion, harmonica, mandolin, and banjo. But by that point I was already addicted and I hated being sober. I lost my record contract because I was so flaky. I was too strung out to show up to gigs and whatnot. I pushed my own family away because all they did was criticize me and tell me to give up on my dreams and find a real job. I finally got clean and sober after 20 years. I gave up on music about a decade ago, but I recently started writing and playing again. But after rehab I spent 2 years in therapy. I did a really good job of messing up my life. I made a lot of poor choices when I was under the influence. I've been in and out of jail a few times because I couldn't control my drinking. I've betrayed friends. I really want to know how to love myself again because I have nobody right now. I have no friends left. My mom still talks to me, but my dad never calls. He hasn't called me in almost 20 years. I want so badly to rebuild, but I think my life is destroyed. I feel destroyed. I wish I hadn't lost most of everything I had. Sometimes the only thing that makes me feel better is plucking a guitar or sitting in front of a piano for hours. Thank you for this video. I'm going to try my best. I never surrender. Never say die.

[@terri_cole]

I am witnessing you with deep compassion. Addiction can really make a mess of things. But you're not alone. I'm hearing you and I appreciate you sharing. Keep going with your music even if it's for nothing but satisfying your soul.

[@NaptimNate]

@@terri_cole Ever since I watched this video, I have been watching your other playlists. I have to stay home and isolate until my Covid-19 test results come back. I'm not that sick, but I'm worried about spreading it. Anyway, I just want to thank you so much for your time and dedication to helping other people. So much of what you said has resonated with me. Also, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my comment. I was so deeply moved by the story of your client who was a successful actor. I have started writing music again. I'm done writing songs about heartbreak, drinking, etc. Music was my outlet when I was younger, but now I want to inspire people. I don't care if I make money. God gave me this talent, this gift, and I want to share it and be a positive influence on the world, just like you share your knowledge in order to help people. Thank you again for putting yourself out there.

[@Chic.Geek75]

yeah, my husband belittles me...I don't feel worthy..I was raised in abusive home in every way..so he loves me conditionally, after 22 yrs of marriage I realized that I am the only person can love him back unconditionally..and yes I have numbing tendencies...food, alcohol, facebook ( I was orphan raised by abusive narcissitic caretakers)

[@terri_cole]

Ana, I'm so sorry to hear that. You can still learn to lover yourself more, draw boundaries and take better care of you and you're worth it beauty!

[@michaelstewart2900]

Fantastic and aprreciated

[@terri_cole]

Glad you enjoyed it 🤗

[@susangunther3641]

Thank you

[@Misslotusification]

Can we shift after 6 decades of self-loath?

[@terri_cole]

yes you can if you really want to (and you deserve self love my friend)

[@TamaraRomaniuk]

Dear Terri, thank you a lot. I'm doing this work since quite a while already and still it's deep in my system. I believe I'm getting better but sometimes negative introjections still hit me strongly. It's very helpful to listen to you and sense compassion you have. I would love to continue with daily meditation but can't find the link. can you post the link here? With love and gratitude, Tamara

[@terri_cole]

Hey Tamara- I understand how you feel. This journey is not for the weak at heart! Please email [e-mail] and she wil send you the meditation and for more support join us for a weekly live stream and ask me ANY questions We just launched our waiting list for The Real Love Revolution, lot's of free gifts and a free private Facebook Group ( just for women ) Click her to join for free: www.terricole.com/RLR

[@alejandrobesokissalexander7834]

Thnx,dear lady.I was 6 times Innocence Victims of Conspirationes&racism&xenophobysts&hedonists&politically gangs&also believe in Love,but like every human the past of hate and regrets after rapes and hackers thives are normally to can negative feelings.Also Praying in Churches,Practising Sun Salutation Yoga&Gymn&Listening love music.GOD HELP US

[@janeendupre2461]

I would enjoy one on one coaching. Thx J

[@terri_cole]

Thank you for reaching out! I no longer offer one to one coaching but I highly recommend seeking the support of a counselor through Better Help. You can learn more here www.terricole.com/betterhelp

[@Bwwe82090]

Hi, my name is Brandon, I wanted to know is the Self Meditation download free from the link?

[@terri_cole]

Yes, Brandon! It's totally free 🤗

[@Bwwe82090]

@@terri_cole Thank u for responding

[@pjbmo5930]

I think all your videos are great but the volume is so low compared to other channels that I listen to some are so low I can't hear when driving

[@terri_cole]

Please check your settings as I do use a professional mic. You can also turn on the subtitle option on KZbin so you can read what I am saying if you cannot hear it. Thanks for being here with us!

[@elhadjdiallo633]

Your roght about that self love is the cure to. Self hate .... I wish you all the best in life .... Love you ....

[@zz-ic6vy]

Where can i get guided meditation?

[@junglebook306]

zz22 terricole.pages.ontraport.net/selflove

[@aditinuria5640]

beatiful

[@royalty2924Love]

Cant believe all these beautiful people on here with all them pretty faces hate themselves

[@thaothao8324]

I sarcasm alot is that healthy?, toward me and other in a funny way with a smile on my face.

[@terri_cole]

Hahahaha! Not if that smile is masking hostility and anger. Thanks for a great Q!

[@queenladyeastman148]

OMG I love you

[@terri_cole]

SAME ;)

[@sarahfoster4437]

I didn't experience self loathing behaviours until I got married.

[@aditinuria5640]

im useally makeing people fall for me because i hate being alone but then i torture them. and leave them with a scar. then look for the next person and do the same i really hate it!

[@terri_cole]

Perhaps think about getting professional help so you have a better chance of stopping.

[@bealambwouldya]

Not me crying 😔

[@terri_cole]

❤️

[@shivaniverma-tu4os]

Dear mam I have a brother who used to treat me like shit my parents did not say anything to him may be my self hate trauma comes from his bashing Please mam help me i am becoming a mess

[@aditinuria5640]

3:21 book mark

[@aditinuria5640]

mean things

[@sallywillis1448]

I didn't look at myself in the mirror.

[@gussieguss6639]

I saw blankness

[@aditinuria5640]

im worth less no wonder no one loves me! gezz just look at my self im disqusting no wonder no one loves you how could they but theyll love me! hahahaha and oh theyll all pay! me- hmmmm ackward and scarry ? (red flags)