Judgmental and dismissive are two big deciding factors- even if they’re unintentional.

Yessss. Accurate. I have a former friend who would make weird comments on my IG stories. Like if I thought I looked cute that day, she'd be like, do you ever do your hair this way? It would look really cute! Similar comments to that & seemed like an underhanded way to try to make me feel shitty about myself. Didn't work and I cut that person out.

Hi Terri, I’ve been this type of person. I’m not proud of it, but I think due to trauma, being the youngest in an abusive family with narcissistic siblings and father and not a “winner” my whole life, I’ve been jealous, envious, all the rest. It’s my shadow side which I’ve been working on, but I feel it too from others who don’t have it as “good” as I do maybe? I just wish not to be demonized as a bad person for these tendencies. Please have some compassion for these bad friends and let them go. I get it. I’d love it if you could do a video on competition. Or maybe you already have? It has been one of the hardest things in my life to deal with especially as a woman who wasn’t born beautiful, just average. Thank you. ❤

At 72 I finally figured out that humans are completely nuts. Gave up on friendships; if you want a friend get a dog!

I now give myself permission to walk away from friendships or any relationship that are not aligned with my values and my needs, especially those that involve competition, envy, passive-agressive behavior, judgment. Some of them really have an expiration date. Amazing video Terri! ❤

this happened to me with my two best friends, it was really hard to recognize these patterns and understand that they were wrong over the course of the years because there were good moments in between. hearing everyday from two of the closest people in my life that that my choices were wrong and brought pain to everyone was really hard. now im learning to use and put my boundaries up and im not talking to them anymore. honestly your videos have helped me a lot, without them i dont think i would have had the courage to stop talking and set my boundaries. thank you so much

What’s perplexed me about this over the years is how they initially seemingly support someone and then “off” comments arise or even certain looks (like between them and others in the vicinity) when either you’re on your way to accomplish something or have accomplished something and it could be anything. What’s helped me is removing myself from that toxicity and focusing on celebrating with my own self and then those who are genuinely supportive. These are precious gems and I make it a practice to celebrate with and encourage others too. Life’s too short for that toxic BS. Still enjoying your book “Too Much” and the red flag/green flag lists were a fantastic support for conversation with another going through the deep HFC dive. 🙏

Just worked at it 3 years and got rid of everyone I let mess me about ( I did it) it’s been horrific but I’ve got to make my life safe and happy for me. I still can’t feel what I’m feeling and needs in moments but it’s slowly coming back, it’s the most important thing, life is so easy when you got your head for yourself 🎉 I never ever felt myself before, it’s been like a painful hell going through the emotions but I’ve read 14 amazing books self help and more … I love your work, you a person that helped me xx

You just described my ex spouse 😢

I never heard it said that covert narcissistists are shy , mmm 🤔 I have not before heard about the overt narcissistists but I am grateful for the explanation here 🥰

Holy smoke! This message hits home 🎯 I need to dive in head first NOW. Thanks Terri!

Yes but some people are incredibly condescending and use any mistakes you did in the past as their tool to patronize you the next time, so it's kind of tough not to be defensive sometimes

Wow, such a variable conversation. Thank you!

Because they are never a abuser when you meet them...that comes later.. when they have you where they want you.

such a useful wisdom-packed session. thank you!

Being an empath really does explain all of the struggles in life! It’s giving me some healing now.

It took me a little ng time to see that I've developed some of my mother's narcissistic behaviors... It makes me sick when I catch myself

Hello Terri, the topics are so relatable. They really speak volumes especially when it comes to friendships, the pattern I created was to not divulge to much in case I had to pull away. I do believe I still have this pattern and of course I have taught myself to be more ethically stubborn. LOL

Hello, my name is Nina I’m new to your channel but love your content! Thanks for all you do! ❤

I literally do this...

OMG..THANK YOU, THANK YOU,THANK YOU❤

So true!

She's a beautiful woman with a sexy voice

*STOP IT! GET SOME HELP* SEEK THERAPY

I also think it worth being mindful of ones own behaviours. When you see it; don't yourself be like it. I know I have myself in the past been negative with no insight as to how I may have made others feel listening to my moaning all the time! 😊

Thank you so much for all that you do, and all the help and guidance you try to give people. This is so much needed. Grateful to your hard work!

Well, men persecute women all the time by valuing their physical beauty over their goodness

my name Robina I have been hurt by my mum how nasty and cold heart towards me and still punished me and abuse me and I am walking on eggs shells and she phone me and calls me abuse me and say the hurtful things and I have apologised many times she doesn’t want that and do I move on from It and mum love has gone cold on me and It damage me and hurts me what do I have to do and I need help advice please

I tried to not be like my mother, but I made some of the same mistakes. I hate myself for it and I wish I would’ve seen it earlier.

Keep going, Terri Cole! You don’t just have a KZbin channel-you’ve created a university where I’ve learned so much for free. Thank you! ✌️

How can I explain how it feels to live a life with a narcissistic mother 🥺. It feels like living with a red dark wound in your heart. A mother whose love is considered the supreme of all but I was denied to give that blessing 😭. Every problem has a solution and I know how can I solve this issue of my life but I'm too afraid 😣. I don't have the guts to face it. I know I have to leave her the way or other. I don't have any options 🥺but you know what my inner child is terribly scared 😟 ah one day I will be able to do that...Ah I wish God really exists and listen to my heart's whispers 💔