Leave your own lyrics in the comments.

[@GummyBear1972]

"They didn't know any better. They had it rough when they were growing up."

[@maIwaldron]

'Family is everything' Sometimes, 'family' is everything wrong with an individual's life

[@Roguefem76]

True facts!

[@karablake9200]

Thanks for saying it that way

[@yarnbomber2166]

Key change into the break: "You're going to hell, you're going to hell, You're going to hell, you're going to hell, How could you do this to meeeeeeee?!"

[@lostredsock6989]

"You could have had it worse!" (I just love me a hierarchy of abuse)

[@LaughingVenus]

@@lostredsock6989 I'll take NONE OF IT. Plz and thank you!

[@peacheyearth]

@@LaughingVenus aMEN

[@aquateal384]

"You were the Strong One. Why can't you just be pleasant?"

[@samlynx2016]

My dad used this ALL THE TIME! "You think it's bad that I use the belt occasionally? My mom and stepdad spit on me, chased me around with firepokers, and threw shoes at me." "You think it's bad I send you to bed without dinner? YOU'RE LUCKY to have a dad so great! I basically spoil you guys!" "When I spank you, it hurts me more than it hurts you." Just because he had it worse doesn't change the fact that I had to deal with three years of therapy and I still feel fundamentally unloveable.

[@peacheyearth]

"Oh come on now, it wasn't that bad!"

[@BJ-mb2ug]

@@peacheyearth “just get over it (abuse from fam)..I did.” (Did you? Hmmm)

[@v4756nb1rs]

With a chorus of, "If you want something to cry about, I'll give you something to cry about" (even if you're a grown adult now!)...

[@sophiebailey4891]

"You're being too sensitive, Your childhood wasn't that bad. I'm never gonna apologise for anything And blame all my problems on your dad!"

[@LaughingVenus]

"You'll miss her when she's gone." Uh, excuse me, she was never HERE!😂 I think I'll be alright.

[@noellebridgman-wile7056]

Yessss 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼.

[@LittleLulubee]

I won’t shed a single tear. If I do, it will just be at the frustration of never having a real mother.

[@margaretwilkinson8188]

I'm 70. My mother died 30 years ago. I haven't missed her yet.

[@LaughingVenus]

@@LittleLulubee 💯 Complex grief.

[@fatuusdottore]

@@LittleLulubeeTears of joy.

[@Roguefem76]

"But she's your mooooootherrrrr, she luuuuuuvs youuuuuuu!!" Nothing like having it stranger-splained to you that somebody who abused you basically your entire childhood weally weally wuvs you. 😬🤢🤮

[@charissecrenshaw1577]

Stranger-splaining! Love that one!

[@spacegirl226]

True facts.

[@mirdala5231]

Yep this one resonated with me.

[@YDdraigGoch1]

Yes! I can definitely see that, and definitely relate!

[@isabeltyrer7903]

Yeah... Mine loves me in her strange psycho, possessive, damaging way...

[@peacerun]

“She didn’t really mean it.” 😂

[@MissTupsy]

"I hope someday you have kids that treat you the same way".....joke was on her....my kids are awesome!!😂

[@omgllamas]

What is really sad is that I would say those things to myself.

[@Spunky072]

I feel that 😐

[@samlynx2016]

Same

[@spacegirl226]

🎶"Pray about it! Pray about it! Get on your knees and praaaaaaay about it."🎶

[@AA-mm6wu]

Oh, you turned out just fine. They must have done something right. 🙄

[@EMNaturefarmAZ]

Literally had them miscredited so much… I’m like yeah, actually, my grandparents, friends, family friends and a few cool teachers did that. Oh, plus therapists. 😂

[@AA-mm6wu]

@@EMNaturefarmAZ Me too! I think if it wasn’t for the teachers that I had that I would’ve turned out differently for sure.

[@Mariecourtney]

Nah just hiding all of my issues best I can cuz oh ya I'm a pretty good actor. And liar. Cuz some of us acted and lied our entire childhood to avoid hell. But thank you for thinking I'm normal 😂

[@RadioPsychicAstrologyByPepper]

I wouldn't mind hearing this one even from a stranger but that's only because of the deficit of certainty I have from years of guesswork and gas lighting. Sometimes I'd still do almost anything for validation. It's the impossibility of turning out all right to outside observation that I cling to because definitely that plot line did not play out. Sigh.

[@beegeesquirrel]

"They did the best they could" "They love you" "Have you thought about forgiveness?" "Have you tried to make it work?" "No parent is perfect"

[@AmandaSeacrist]

I second this! ⬆️

[@janayaduggan4753]

I love the inclusion of a little bit of humour into such an otherwise serious topic, it really helps. :-)

[@margaretkennedy2520]

"That was a long time ago, why are you still upset? Everyone else has moved on. Just let it go."

[@destinyserrano2409]

My brother asked me to open up, I open up, tells me I'm living in the past. They literally cannot put themselves in another person's shoes.

[@snowarmth]

They probably didn't even "move on". They just didn't come to terms with what happened lmao... Repression, downplaying, normalization... so many things can go wrong. But things look "ugliest" when someone accepts something is incongruent and wrong about their situation and tries to question it and the people involved. Everything is fine as long as everyone plays along... but if one person steps out of line, they must be the problem... :(

[@destinyserrano2409]

@@snowarmth literally this, so well put

[@AA-mm6wu]

I got this one as a reply to a comment about going no contact, “ I can see that their behavior is problematic, but that shouldn’t warrant going no contact.” 🙄

[@PotsandPansWhatsPotsandPans]

Unlike her parents, she didn’t hit you or deny you food so what’s the matter? After all she’s done for you, she wishes she had it that good.

[@PatientPerspective]

I felt that

[@samlynx2016]

OH MY GOSH, this is my dad, to a T!

[@JustinSarvis]

That was me not my parent. Sometimes chaos makes a child sick enough to develop eating disorders.

[@herbalina]

The dance moves and the kazoo 🤣

[@Carbondated]

"Do you even care about the pain YOU have caused your mom?" Like as if she has ever cared about the crippling pain she inflicted on her children. Even mentioning it is to victimize her invisible children.

[@baphomumm9834]

"you won't get this time back" just like I won't get back the time I spent hating myself and thinking something was wrong with me.

[@BlackHatDancer]

"But our parents are getting old and going to die soon" ... Aren't we all pretty much, what makes them special? Lol

[@BJ-mb2ug]

So many young people are getting sick from cancer of late, I know 4 (all under 40). And the older parents aren’t ill- so… it’s like,… do what YOU need to do to be happy with the unknown time you have. Don’t waste it just to “honor” old family members and their abuse.

[@karmennash7479]

This!

[@newlife.vanessacalfan]

​@@BJ-mb2ug yes yes yes

[@amivanzyl8876]

My thinking is always: well shouldn't they get a wiggle on improving themselves then? time is short

[@ourtravelingzoo3740]

My mother is almost 89 and lives alone. Only the good die young. Lost my dad when he was 34

[@lyndarandall189]

You say "We just didn't know what to do with you", felt more like we just weren't interested enough to even try!

[@summerlane508]

That’s blame shifting and gaslighting. Don’t listen to that shit. You got this!

[@naediggs4816]

Right! Were you considered the "difficult" child/odd one out??

[@sitapixie]

Omg I got that too..in response of her kicking me out at 18 She had the audacity years later to go "you weren't listening to me and I didn't know what else to do" Technically, she didn't kick me out...she told me to go stay at my deadbeat of a father's place. I stayed there for a couple weeks until he kicked me out because he didn't like tiptoeing around me for hrs because he woke up at 4am every day naturally and I was up around 9am (i worked 11pm- 2am). 🙄 so I lived in my car for months until I found a housing group for homeless young adults.

[@elizabethl6187]

They don’t want money They feed on pain They don’t want love But they need the games

[@peacheyearth]

@@elizabethl6187 🔥

[@the51project]

A cycle never ends till you turn your back on the spinning wheel and walk away.

[@laurelgardner]

"He's never done anything like that to me. He's never done anything like that Anywhere that I can see. I'm not calling you a liar, but nothing you say is true. There's no way he could've done any of the things you say he did to you."

[@earnestlanguage4242]

great lyrics! ❤ If abusers acted indiscriminately they'd be caught immediately. They choose victims who don't have power over them or ability to report. Younger people are a common target

[@anner.413]

Nice lyrics

[@laurelgardner]

​@@earnestlanguage4242 Very true! In my case, though, it was sheer denial. This is based on an actual conversation with my mother, and my dad used to hit me right in front of her. She also once told me that he DID hit her (when she wanted my sympathy to control me), then want back on it and said no such thing ever happened when I was trying to talk about him hitting me. My dad was also a teacher who once almost lost his job because a student said he hit her.

[@earnestlanguage4242]

@@laurelgardnergreat examples! so true

[@karenduckett5288]

Wow, yes!!!

[@orielwiggins2225]

Why is this the best thing ever.? Patrick thank you so much for your humor and helping us to discern and undo the gas lighting.

[@peacheyearth]

"You should be grateful you weren't hit that much at least"

[@herbalina]

"At least you never got the belt like your brothers did"

[@joeschmo1516]

​@@herbalinaI got the belt in 2nd grade.

[@herbalina]

@@joeschmo1516 That's horrible! I'm so sorry. Parents who do that are messed up.

[@jdprettynails]

That’s a fucked up thing to say to someone. I’m so sorry.

[@anner.413]

What?! That is f'd up.

[@Joanthebrightone]

You survived! Nevermind you were deaf As a child Had an IEP And they did nothing.

[@mariatserpe8730]

She also has childhood trauma and she was stuck in a fucked up relationship with your dad so ¯\🙄/¯ give her a break for never learning to care for you emotionally or teaching you how to be a human being

[@LaughingVenus]

@@mariatserpe8730 So, the one with zero power is supposed to absorb the dysfunction for the ones who had all the power? Bless your heart.

[@Nibiru3600X]

I could have written this as well. Ugh 🤦‍♀️

[@mariatserpe8730]

@@LaughingVenus That something my therapist told me for real. And its weird cause she wasn't completly bad at helping me, she did give me the headstart to heal I needed so I can now function (even if with issues) but damn some things she said....

[@LaughingVenus]

@@mariatserpe8730 "The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off!"

[@samlynx2016]

This is what my mom said about my dad. It took three years for me to get her and my brother to realize that I don't blame him for having a crappy childhood but if he doesn't know how to he a dad, it's not my job to teach him.

[@lauriedonnelly7134]

When you tell someone what she did to you and they respond with she loves you so much.

[@mishad.1651]

[Raging Bridge] “WHAT IS THIS THERAPY-BULLSHIT-TALK?” “WHAT IS THIS THERAPY-BULLSHIT TALK?” “WHAT IS THIS THERAPY-BULLSHIT TALK?” And maybe a backup vocal that sneaks in at certain points and goes “that never happened, that never happened, I don’t remember that it never happened.”

[@ginafarley6190]

That’s brilliant! Love it

[@funmachine694]

Crazy how many people have the same experience. My dad said had this look on his face every time I brought up something he’d done where he looked like he was trying to wrack his brain, and then he’d go “I don’t remember that, I don’t think that happened the way you remember.” And then when I started therapy he said “Why are you going to therapy? Why do you need to go every two weeks?”

[@LaughingVenus]

@@mishad.1651 Yup! That bridge needs to be sung like metal screaming!

[@pepperstep]

Lmao "I don't remember that it never happened" is perfect!! I can't tell you how many times my mom has she doesn't remember things, then says it didn't happen. If you can't remember, how can you know it didn't happen!? My petty ass pulled the police reports to back it up "well I must have blocked it out, and police lie on reports all the time!" It was easier for her to believe that I was in cahoots with the police as a child, just to use evidence to "attack" her with decades later 😅

[@LaughingVenus]

@@pepperstep ooh! Thank you for sharing this. This form of "amnesia" always baffled me! How can you forget but then remember what you forgot?!?!?

[@fourmacs8167]

😂 I love this! Patrick, not only are you kind and generous with your knowledge, helping all of us, you are frickin awesome, funny and talented! Thank you for the cheerful message today 🙏♥️

[@alfhildbotilsrud3965]

She didn’t know better

[@LittleLulubee]

Yeah, that’s why she always hid the abuse from everyone else

[@lostredsock6989]

That's given me an ear-worm of the 80s song "I Should Have Known Better"

[@lisaflowers3608]

My mother has passed on, and I've made my peace with her now. I remember people telling me that you only have one mother, and I would always say thank God. I couldn't deal with two of them. 🤦‍♀️

[@DriftlessWarrior]

I actually got two more when I was in my twenties. My dad's second wife was an angel. And my mother-in-law is a sweetheart. I'm thankful they were/are good moms. Just wish they'd been in my life when I was a kid. Now if I can just keep my actual mom, who passed in 2022, from living on inside my head... Glad you've made peace with yours! I'm working on that. 😊

[@lisaflowers3608]

@DriftlessWarrior Hang in there. You can get there! Took me many years, and there are still days I can start thinking, and get angry. I just have to turn my thoughts to something better. I'm training myself not to allow anyone who has caused me pain, to live in my head anymore! I wish you the best from here on out. 🫂❤️

[@DriftlessWarrior]

​@@lisaflowers3608 Thank you so very much!!! ❤️

[@lisaflowers3608]

@@DriftlessWarrior Hugs!!! 🤗❤️

[@isabeltyrer7903]

One biological mother, but then there are the kind souls that try to give you nice memories and love. Mine is my auntie, whom my mum abuses all the time because I prefer her, and a couple of my friends mums that knew what was going on, and tried to help me.

[@AprilRoseTarot]

"Come on, you know what she's like" 🙄😐😂

[@AprilRoseTarot]

"Them therapists always blame the parents so you don't need to go" 😐🙄😂

[@TheyForgotMySalad]

Right! As if my knowing what she's like is all the reason I need to just keep allowing the abuse from her. 😂

[@naediggs4816]

Love that one, lol. I recall a flying monkey relative telling me that it was my fault for getting yelled at, for always talking back and not accepting insults quietly, like they do.

[@TheyForgotMySalad]

@naediggs4816 Oh, so they wanted you to 'tolerate' the abuse? Isn't that convenient?

[@izpozpeeps]

🎯 💔

[@tinathomas1674]

“I didn’t have to tell you that I loved you, you should just know that because I’m your mom”.

[@TheAvprobeauty]

😂😂😂I love how deeply sarcastic and yet how perfectly executed this is.

[@catsncrows]

Lyrics? Okay! Your mother, she's had a hard life Don't trust those therapists I miss mother Father wasn't that bad Can you lend me $70,000? Oh I thought you had that 😑

[@themaggattack]

🤣 Sorry to laugh but that was toooooo relatable! The audacity with which they operate!

[@catsncrows]

@@themaggattack omg no go ahead and laugh. Some of what they did was awful, some of it is dark comedy😂

[@samlynx2016]

$70,000?! Holy shit!

[@catsncrows]

@@samlynx2016 goes down as one of the most surreal moments in my life. My family was really good at producing those

[@summerlane508]

I’ve been told “a mother never abandons her child” well mine verbally abused me and threatened physical harm. Lying to everyone to take sides with their narc father. My heart is broken, but I went no contact. It’s a lose, lose situation

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

Yes, there are no winners when you are connected to a narcissist.

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

A narcissistic mother doesn't have normal human instincts. Mine reminds me of the Sleestacks from Land of the Lost

[@Nibiru3600X]

@@bewarefalsenonprofits lol Sorry to laugh, but that’s a fantastic reference! 😆👍

[@karablake9200]

Today from my mom "you're hurting me too, because we can't spend time together as a family" I don't want to fight anymore. I will not show up to be rejected.

[@BeautifulMe-g4c]

🥰 it. She carried you for 9 months .

[@lostredsock6989]

What's a biology lesson got to do with anything? (that would be my smart-arse reply)

[@tyreerobertson8733]

Oldie but a goodie that one

[@isabeltyrer7903]

My reply would be "not because she wanted me, she just wanted a weapon to control my father"

[@lostredsock6989]

@@isabeltyrer7903 my mother thought to grow herself an indentured servant, aged care worker & retirement plan.

[@coralmccrystal4606]

Mothers can be very toxic and only want power and control. It's the opposite of love and it's best to get away. If you were luckier than that, that's great, I'm happy for you. I was one of the unlucky ones.

[@LittleLulubee]

I’ve had zero luck in this miserable life 😭

[@BlackHatDancer]

I realized recently (31 years to see it) my mom's expression of love is not real love - she is just desperate for validation of any sort. If she does not receive that validation there is no love- completely conditional. Like you said, it's just the opposite of love. for a long time I had an empty feeling as something felt missing in our relationship. Simply even, when we hug, she would nuzzle into me like a child and I became her parent comforting her. It made me question my own definition of love and how I express it.

[@chris-b]

​@@BlackHatDancer my sister is like this despite of raised by a good loving mother. Staying alone abroad hardened her. Such a beautiful, loving daughter she gave birth to. Now she's all grown up and hides all her emotions from her mom, specifically when she is in dior need. I feel for her but can't do anything about it. It's a pity how children are literally sacrificed when parents are narcissistic.

[@omgllamas]

This is so catchy! I've found myself singing it while I'm doing stuff around the house - "But she's your mooom!" 😄

[@StillAwakeAwareDiscerning]

Think of all the things they have done for you, [food, clothing, shelter, the basics], how can you do this to them?

[@destinyserrano2409]

LITERALLY THIS!! How can you throw something like this in someone's face and not call it abuse, when food, clothing, shelter and basics are provided EVEN IN JAIL.

[@GummyBear1972]

@@StillAwakeAwareDiscerning This one prevents so many of us from getting the help we need. Providing the mere necessities in life is not proper parenting, especially if it's undone by physical and emotional abuse. I never felt like I had someone I could go to with questions or help with bullies or pain or just being confused about life. In fact, they all leaned on me, the youngest in the family, to help them all with whatever they needed. What about my needs? I was completely on my own. That's not how any child should be raised. I was fed and clothed and sheltered only to sustain me so I could continue to be their slave.

[@sandykeating7147]

Hurting people hurt people.

[@clairecarlia-jones5979]

My mother died 2 years ago and I've never felt so liberated in my life. I'm 53 next month and I'm finally living ❤❤❤

[@TheyForgotMySalad]

"You've only got one dad. You need to appreciate the time you've got left with him now, before he's gone." Trust me, I appreciate knowing it's not forever, and it's almost over.

[@birdonawire1988]

Your mother loves you ,unconditionally !!

[@herbalina]

Classic!

[@birdonawire1988]

@@herbalina except for my own mother .. But mine for my children ,is Regardless of my upbringing. Just saying ...

[@warchikk]

My mother's love is absolutely conditional on me being the person she needs me to be.

[@birdonawire1988]

@warchikk I get that !! FR and I still ain't that person!! MAYBE because her and I were born on the same day , and we are both head strong and free spirited ? Who knows , I just know , that I'm not the golden child at all. BUT I love my mom and I'm grateful for her .

[@herbalina]

@@birdonawire1988 ❤️

[@SteeleMagnolia]

"I said I loved you, but I lied"...Michael Bolton

[@PatientPerspective]

wow 😪

[@naediggs4816]

"You only remember the negative and bad, but you never consider the positive and glad." _✨️alternatively✨️_ "You can't just hold on to negativity" "Well, whatever happened, couldn't 've been that bad a play, because you're still here, and you're doing okay. " _-(BUT, LIKE, AM I REALLY, THO????? I'm getting there slowly, but it's no thx to you 😫😫)-_ "What do you want me/them to do about it now? It's in the past - it already happened." "You're still holding on to that??" "What happened to you that was _that_ bad??" "So, now I'm the bad guy/terrible parent?" _✨️alternatively✨️_ So, it's all my fault?? _Finally, a ✨️fan favorite✨️_ Well, I'm sorry **_IF_** I did anything to hurt you back then. _(I tried rhyming in the beginning, then I just gave up, lol 😅 from POV of either flying monkey OR the narco themselves)_

[@JamieBreakawayBell]

Could write a whole musical just on that alone

[@chris-b]

You are too good. Hitting the right notes everytime.❤

[@Nibiru3600X]

“Well…what did YOU do?” 💔😡

[@amarple424]

He is your dad. You need to be respectful of adults.

[@herbalina]

He's your dad. He only swears because he cares!

[@naediggs4816]

Yes!!!! We are ALL sooooo disrespectful!! Not them, tho, they're just exercising their _rightful_ authority, after all! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

[@jaidev777]

"Eh, what can ya do?" -- My mom would often utter absent-mindedly when I as a very little child was trying to put into words how I didn't like that weird sick feeling I was getting in my tummy when I knew it was around the time the big bad man with the boomy voice and angry face would come home from work.

[@YDdraigGoch1]

"Reconcile with your parents! Blood is thicker than water! I'm planting a seed!"

[@marleenstukkien5384]

"It's his fault" Love the retro dance btw! Oh, and "she carried you for nine months"

[@BrettTheHauntedSarcastic]

She suffered abuse as a child too, and she was mentally ill and she was just acting out of that.

[@naediggs4816]

Yes! The "you don't know what _they've_ been through!!"

[@BrettTheHauntedSarcastic]

@naediggs4816 The best one I ever heard was straight from her when she said, "I only beat you for a year or 2." Which is only true because I could tell on her then because I went to school. But also not true, because she still hit me, though not as violently, and the abuse turned emotional after that.

[@snowarmth]

Mmmmm... My Mom and her sister were molested by their uncle, and my Mom downplayed it and refused to come to terms with it on even ground. She would go on to downplay her daughter being molested too, for the sake of protecting her image and keeping the family together. Her assailant was, unfortunately, her own brother. She was around 11 and he was roughly 16. As you can imagine, her downplaying her past played a part in her doing the same here... Maybe it's the same for your Mom? These situations feel possible when people put other things over reality... Like hoping to look like a happy family over being one.

[@BrettTheHauntedSarcastic]

@@snowarmth We spent 2 years on and off homeless. My mother had no delusions about a happy family, lol.

[@jenniferwithers572]

Their so selfish, they never said “I love you”

[@meenda7031]

That kazoo though 😂

[@wendyapfeldorf2120]

Love this. “Someday, you’ll think about the way you treated me, and you’ll cry your eyes out.”

[@joan.nao1246]

Where were all these bangin moves before, Patrick ❓️❗️

[@Treezp1]

We don't remember that happening. I don't want to talk about what Grandad did to you anymore now that he just died. We need to look forward rather than backwards. Your therapist may have said I should stop talking to you about my personal problems but there's noone else I can talk to. Not very helpful! 😢🤬 ❤️T

[@lishmahlishmah]

Nice song, however I'd prefer posting the reply-song to those people : "you don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be" (Jonh Rzeznik, from Jim's Theme)

[@rainbowconnected]

Yesterday was "mom's" birthday. I didn't see or talk to her this time. I needed this to help me counter the self doubt that's coming up. Thank you! My brain tries to tell me "but she's your mom", "maybe you didn't give her a fair chance", "you're not trying hard enough to fix it" and other bullshit. Hearing it in this context makes it clear how utterly ridiculous those messages are. My inner adult feels mostly good about no contact, after all, "mom" said she wished she'd never had me, so I'm just making her wish come true. But the little girl is still holding out hope that "mom" can be convinced we're worthy of love and care. Time to give her some nurturing and care.

[@SMKovalinsky]

🎶🎼🎵🎤”Why can’t you remember the good?”

[@MarysMaamCave]

They did their best with my brothers I saw it every day Yet when it came to me I wasn’t treated the same way They decided long ago That it would never be my turn The treatment others were entitled to I had no hopes to ever earn They did the best they could with everyone, Were admired by all who could see, So if they could with everyone else, Why couldn’t they with me?

[@lisapack4906]

😭😞

[@salemgrace9444]

Aaaaaahhhhh Clap back With your voice You got this Uh huh Feels good Yeah You got this Uh huh Clap back

[@TheDirtyWork]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣YOU ARE THE FKNG BEST. I LOVE that we are alive in this time. I can be a therapist and have THIS KIND OF CAREER?! LIFE HAS NEW MEANING. ❤❤❤ I'll have to watch this a few more times, and then I'll have my lyrics😂

[@Sandra-hc4vo]

my grandmother would tell me that while my mother was this tragic case and that deep down she 'loved me,' but just not in a not useful way. She completely denied the things I said my mom did though.

[@mariehughey5390]

I found freedom when I said goodbye. I found joy when I let go of the sorrow. But they still expect me back, sucked into bondage and misery.

[@janmots2829]

🎶"Was it really that bad? Don't you think you should give them a chance?" 🎶 😌

[@effie3798]

Surprisingly everyone is telling me to drop my mother actually. And I keep second guessing it.

[@BJ-mb2ug]

Plz ask yourself: “would I want how she treated/is treating me, to be done to my kids/my bff/a stranger?” If it’s “absolutely not!” There you go.

[@wanderingintime]

wise of you to think for yourself, as sometimes people overdo it with calling so many sometime normal but distasteful behaviors toxic and cutting everyone out who makes mistakes in their presence.. if what they do is annoying but tolerable, it's your choice. maybe you figured out a way/ system to uphold your boundaries so you can see this person and they dont bother you too much. and that's ok! however, as the other comment said, if you watch the way they interact with you and switch 'you' for another of your loved ones, does the feeling change? would you subject your children or a sensitive person you love to their company? if it's just you and you can take it, that's ok. but if they might be harming your kids self confidence, then it will be your responsibility to protect them from the individual - not expect them to be the same kind of fine with it you are. else you might now become the parent that looked the other way while damaging things were going on.

[@LaughingVenus]

@effie3798 Low and no contact are a process and a practice. Give yourself compassion. I dare you to treat yourself better than your mother?😉

[@AA-mm6wu]

I think something that helped me to snap out of doubting myself about my own narcissistic mother is think about if your mother was a stranger, would you be friends with her or have any association with her? I know my answer to that was no.

[@lisapack4906]

I think the second guessing comes from never being validated in childhood. Do you second guess a lot of your decisions? I do! Honestly, my biggest regret is not going no contact when I left home at 19. And IF they ever feel remorse or are sorry, they will find us.

[@tyreerobertson8733]

But he's your brother, n shes your mother, your uncle daddy brother, couldnt find another...... Family like this ....

[@leogrrrl5876]

"But that's your dad! It's not so bad! Someday you will regret all the time you didn't take to forgive & forget All the memories we make & the heartache that breaks Just be cool & simmer down Turn that frown right around Doesn’t matter how you feel when the pain is all too real Just remember the roof above his head Is what you'll get when he is dead!" Sorry, kinda dark, but wanted to add some humour.

[@anner.413]

Nice one

[@isabeltyrer7903]

Love it! I think we all hsp abused people, use black humour to survive...

[@Flower-oi7eh]

It's mostly been relatives who directly told me to go back. "You should text her!" "You just need some time to get over it."

[@ginafarley6190]

Song therapy helps! I have a few to fight my own gremlins. Pick a song with some fighting words and sing them aloud or in your mind as needed

[@thecornucopiasystem]

🎵 "You cant hold your mom responsible for doing/allowing those things. That all happened before she found god, she's a ✨️ completely different person✨️ now. Shame on you" 🎶

[@sebastiancervantesll]

“Oh hi aunt Hilda gosh it has been thirty years”; “call your father”, “excuse me, what’s going on?”; “call your father” click! ????? Oh,yeah….

[@annaburns2865]

“ You don’t have to honor your dad because he cheated on me, but I’m your mom so you have to respect me no matter what I do.” When you realize that your mom is just as bad as your dad even after your dad did her dirty. It’s insane.

[@mmcmiddlechild]

Running man!!! 🤣👍 RUN!

[@LaughingVenus]

@@mmcmiddlechild 💯

[@StillAwakeAwareDiscerning]

Think of the grandkids, (or the person having the wedding, the birthday, the party). My dad saying, "Do it for me". We can talk later, (which never happened).

[@Latoree33]

You loved me so much you gave me up as a baby to make more kids, so they could see all you did for them but not me!

[@BJ-mb2ug]

😢 (hugs)

[@chris-b]

I love you soooooo much ❤❤❤

[@Latoree33]

@@chris-bthank you, love you too!💚

[@chris-b]

@@Latoree33 I am praying to God that you meet loving and genuinely caring people in your life and fill the void with a lot of love. May you be showered with so much love that you become so happy that you forget the pain of this abandonment. May that trauma be healed now and forever. Amen.

[@cube435]

So AWESOME. It's time ppl quit underestimating the damage, ugh.

[@pxlmoth]

"this is hard for you? you don't think this is hard for me? you must not feel anything at all."

[@PatientPerspective]

❤ Mother said that to me. She said "you're selfish." At the end. You are ungrateful.

[@jodycasey6936]

Go Patrick!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

My Grandma DID advise me to not get too close to someone who I had started to date. She had been abused by my Grandfather, and she recognized the signs that he was a potential abuser. Had she sung me a song, the lyrics would have gone something like this. "He is playing on your sympathy. He won't quit the alcohol for you. He is just after your virginity. If he gets it, he will leave you high and dry. Don't get involved. He may be able to charm the birds out of the trees. But, he is not who he pretends to be." Grandma was right. He did end up threatening my sister in an effort to manipulate me. In the end, I had to tell him point blank that I wasn't the right person for him. I am so glad that I found the strength to say goodbye! Susan

[@naediggs4816]

Glad you had that guidance to get you out of there, and that you escaped with your life!! Shout out to granny, and best to you and your sister 🥺❤

[@pointofnoreturn3103]

@@naediggs4816 Thank you! Susan

[@herbalina]

😷and life's too short (life is short! life is short!) not to forgiiive

[@marketa_snusmumriken]

"You only have one mother."

[@yugenknows740]

Everybody always blames the parents

[@CocoTheDiamond]

"forgive her because she didn't abuse you on purpose, she didn't know any better" -well meaning friend

[@jolenemedina4637]

"But if you leave they might have nothing to do they'll miss controlling you 😂"

[@bettylougreen6987]

I’ve been told all of that. Family is everything but we don’t talk about Bruno. Keep us smiling and thanks for posting this. It helps to have others understand

[@SistaKrista50]

I needed this so much today. Thanks Patrick! 😂

[@MonsieurChapeau]

Good you call out these false narratives by those who have never been through that level of pain at an early age

[@charissecrenshaw1577]

The running man made my day, Patrick 😂

[@fareebug8439]

Best therapist EVER!! 🥁🎸🎶🎙️🎹🎧

[@ultraviolettas]

I already have therapist mental breakdown lyrics in my songs on my channel 😅

[@pppantz]

hahahahahaha me too

[@EarInn]

You should be grateful. You're lucky to have her!

[@whimsylore]

"You were always such a sensitive child."

[@WellThen-j2g]

Oh dear God what did I do to deserve such a spiteful child.... You rock Patrick, literally. 😊