Let's talk about bullying | Nicholas Carlisle | TEDxBarcelonaED

Student bullying and cyberbullying are at epidemic levels across the world, with an average of 30% of students being bullied on a regular basis. And adults - teachers, parents and societal denial - carry a large reponsibilty for making it worse. But there is a solution. In this talk Nicholas Carlisle, founder of No Bully, takes the Cherokee story of the two wolves and shows how schools are engaging the wolf of kindess and compassion to end over 90% of bullying incidents.
Nicholas Carlisle is the CEO and founder of No Bully, an international anti-bullying NGO. Having experienced firsthand the reality of bullying in his teenage years at school, he is committed to creating schools where every student belongs. Nicholas graduated from Oxford University, practiced as a barrister in London and was chairman of the non-profit section of Amnesty International in Britain. He is licensed as a child and adult psychotherapist in California and a published researcher on the the effects of school bullying. Nicholas is a seasoned conference speaker, expert witness and commentator on school bullying for radio and television.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@ValiantSkyRider720]

The worst thing about bullying isn't the bullying itself, but the fact that, often times people would downplay it as "teasing" or "joking" or something and make it seem like it's the victim's problem for complaining about it in the first place.

[@presence5426]

Gaslighting. Very insidious. The antidote is to teach our children the truth about human nature, and how to deal with it.

[@jawei2844]

Fking true

[@da-eu]

I know how it is...

[@JohnnyBurke123]

This was very beautiful! As a victim of bullying myself, I know this to be true.

[@prometeochile]

Being bullied is a terrible thing, but overcoming that harassment made me stronger. It stopped when I beat up one of the those bullies, in front of everybody. Now I think of it as a good thing, increased my self esteem, the respect from my peers and I never needed to use my fists again. Life is hard and overcoming your fears makes you stronger.

[@presence5426]

Shame that we have to wallow in the mud to get stronger. I don't deny that overcoming life's hardships can build character, but what a sad commentary on our society. We could be building character in SO many other ways besides dealing with toxic people.

[@suzannejacquot3030]

Really well stated and what a great gift for kids who are bullied. My son was bullied after he got cancer at age 9 and had difficulty all the way through high school because he was different. It was left up to him to go to the Principal and tell on the kids who bullied and of course that made it worse. Teaching compassion and consideration is so important.

[@hyacinthgaleou3280]

I am sorry but ma'am your son got bullied because he got cancer?! What kind of psychopaths were at his school??! Poor kid I hope that he has recovered and that he is fine

[@sheawhite9451]

Yakinthi Galeou students with illnesses or disabilities getting bullied is way more common than most might think, even in adulthood. People can be so cruel 😥😞😤

[@stephenbrotzman9045]

We used Solutions teams of No Bully at our daughter's school in San Francisco, and it was very helpful - the whole school culture changed. The hardest to change was not the kids but the parents who were sometimes acting like bullies toward the administration and each other!

[@ValiantSkyRider720]

How can we trust you? Because at least 90% of bullying prevention in schools involve the faculty ignoring (or worse, downplaying) the bullying then condemning the victim just for reacting to it.

[@santisanti8386]

Bullying is the big problem in groups of adults as well.

[@ValiantSkyRider720]

But less severe at least.

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

God bless you speaking out. There are many of us who experienced BOTH this & the less seen bullying of a COVERT Narcissist psychopath. Thiis has been my life & now I want to heal the huge scars to help others. When we have such a bullying parent: we have nowhere to turn. I can't believe I am still alive & didn't end it by taking my life. I guess; it was because I always was an empath and a RGN with the dying. I am needing to change Me & be less naieve. It is hugely difficult as we had 0 support. My own mother professed to being a bully herself. I'm no longer a Victim but have Huge Complex PTSD & am very fearful and have repeated the patterns of having abusive people constantly in my life. I undergo trauma therapy Called: EMDR to heal the wounds. Thank you for all those who speak out...lime you have so bravely done.

[@PersonWConscience]

There are two wolves in always fighting inside of us, one is the wolf of wounded oride and aggression, the other is the wolf of kindness and compassion. .... It is the wolf that we feed.

[@raphaelraj2007]

You are so damn right. I do blame the adults for all this. Looks like the problem is that we make the mistake of consulting adults.Why not become freinds with other kids who are bullied?

[@rubidirrojnamcha8470]

Teachers are the biggest bullies. Bullies are themselves not happy in their lives. Otherwise, why would they try to put someone down!!!

[@stephanieburchburch3448]

everything you mentioned I too was bullied in school and I wish I knew then what I know now to stop it

[@chandnipunjani]

A 14 yr old in my building has been boycotted by all the children. Reason: 1 popular kid abused her father and the rest of them laughed. Her mother spoke to the boys mom and his girlfriend took offence to that and had the whole lot of kids boycott this lovely girl. It's been more than 6 months and I can't bear to see this lovely girl so lonely. What can I do?

[@BythepeopleForthepeople203]

Be the first brave one and approach the lonely girl.

[@mirandaflorence]

Very moving and the solution is so simple and really works. An excellent talk.

[@CkArtGirl7]

I have to disagree with the 'punishment doesn't do anything' statement. Yes, punishment, if it's meted out correctly (i.e., for each offense, as it is when one is sent to jail after each offense!), does work. It is NOT bullying. By this logic, we shouldn't send people to jail. I got stomach aches EVERY DAY because I was afraid of saying anything. Once I did, though, those kids stayed away from me. I heard in another video about companies being held accountable. Maybe to stop encouraging a culture like that yes, but INDIVIDUALS have to be held accountable, and have some kind of payment or loss for their behavior. Bullying has affected my life terribly, but it is getting better. I struggle less with stomach aches when speaking in front of people, and I talk back directly to people when they try to bully me. No way is that getting stuck in me again. Through prayer, too, I have let God handle situations, and have seen some pretty amazing things happen. If we all did stick to old scriptures: 'Love your neighbor', 'Love your enemies', I know the world would change.

[@mohammedfrancis]

Unique.......love to hear more in depth strategies working with bully parties........insights and experiences. Perhaps this could be for another talk.

[@user-dc4bl1cu2k]

He has a point, but he can be wrong. When i was a kid, me and two other guys bullied this other student and it was when we were caught we were threatened with serious consequences that we stopped.

[@Patton-fu2kq]

Thanks thanks

[@tricksterpirate5499]

Thanks, I'm trying to up my bullying game. Yesterday I punched a baby dead in the face.

[@coyle7789]

Punishment doesn't correct behavior? To say that as an absolute is just absurd.

[@stacyvaughn4273]

The point is to get kids involved in stopping the bullying as well as teaching the bullies what effect it has on the bullied.

[@charlieg8553]

awesome!!! ✊

[@renehenriksen1735]

Why don´t they focus on who the bullyers are, why they bully and how they become bullies....

[@presence5426]

For some reason people can't see clearly enough to tell the truth about human nature. Bullying is *theft.* Bullies are stealing the power of another person to make themselves feel more powerful.

[@asad832012]

I need advices how to protect my child's from bulling he just 7 years

[@justohechim4822]

Easy, if he/she is being bullied, think that the school is not the only one, make a change, thats it. Put your child in another school, believe me, Im pretty sure that will keep me safe from my bullies

[@presence5426]

Teach your son to defend himself. It's his inalienable right as a human being. If he can't do it physically, teach him psychological tactics. If that doesn't work, go after the bullies' parents. You shouldn't have to change schools. You're not the problem.

[@maryamtaimur1545]

Why such less likes

[@henrymckenzie-bridle2337]

Good video

[@Bronkonable]

hi my name is Billy bongs I am bullied almost every day i need some advice will you please help me. signed bill johns

[@Pen-nz6uc]

Bruk Kassa hi i am a bullying expert i can work witb you to get you stronger and better fit so we can get thoes bully what they deserve

[@nataliefalepin284]

Did tou get the advice and help you were looking for?

[@careyr7]

I like the passion and compassion, but completely disagree. You can't teach empathy. Nor does throwing acid on a student deserve anything other than expulsion at a minimum. They are the problem, and they dont want any solution other than.. What they want.