Let's Talk About Death

I'M ON A JOURNEY OF MEANING
SoCal Cancer Stand-up:
Brea Improv
improv.com/brea/event/hank+gr...
San Diego Late Show: americancomedyco.com/products...
Right now everything else is sold out actually, but I'll be adding more dates soon. Follow our newsletter if you don't want to miss out when I've got the full tour in place: eepurl.com/Bgi9b
----
Subscribe to our newsletter! eepurl.com/Bgi9b
And join the community at nerdfighteria.com
Help transcribe videos - nerdfighteria.info
Learn more about our project to help Partners in Health radically reduce maternal mortality in Sierra Leone: www.pih.org/hankandjohn
If you're able to donate $2,000 or more to this effort, please join our matching fund: pih.org/hankandjohnmatch
If you're in Canada, you can donate here: pihcanada.org/hankandjohn
John's twitter - / johngreen
Hank's twitter - / hankgreen
Hank's tumblr - / edwardspoonhands

[@vlogbrothers]

Hello! I am still obviously working through these things...if you are left with any questions after watching this video, I'd love to think about them in another video. Leave them in reply here:

[@Dajara]

what helped you shape the wants? i have said the sentence "i want to want" so many times in therapy it was really creepy hearing them from your mouth

[@TheCeg3303]

Meditation/Buddhist thought leaders (Thich Nhat Hanh) say that when we release our wanting and essentially accept what is now/what we have now--that is when we find peace and reconcile that one day we will die. But I agree with you?? Wanting is important? I'm trying to reconcile these two thoughts

[@kaldishelbryndjar]

There's a word for this sort of continual journey of desires. It's called questing. You're questing, Hank. May the Quest never end.

[@zipzap8937]

Elf Pasta is a very internal want, how do you balance these wants with external wants? If all experience comes from within where do we draw this line, is there even a difference if you really think about it? I struggle to be internally motivated, it's very difficult!

[@charliecrossing]

Do you think that meaning is something at all externally tangible, or entirely relative and created inside ourselves?

[@cp_sphinx]

Nothing like a good existential crisis over pasta during Christmas season

[@nkanyezihlatshwayo3601]

I’m having an existential crisis over pasta right now💁🏾 Is ramen pasta?

[@pepadacat5371]

@@nkanyezihlatshwayo3601yeah

[@dominicmammano5297]

@@nkanyezihlatshwayo3601eh, it’s noodles, if it’s not pasta it’s close enough

[@andrewattebery]

Ah, so you've met my family.

[@videoguy640]

I wish I wasn't agnostic :(

[@zyaicob]

This is some pretty massive progress along the way to John and Hank fully switching places

[@hereverydayadventure]

Or perhaps just melding into the same human?

[@RainaRamsay]

Definitely interesting watching Hank have a John-style existential crisis, but approach it in a definitively Hank kinda way.

[@BigStinker_14]

@@hereverydayadventure Fusion Ha.

[@rebeccasford]

I got dx with stage 4 colon cancer at 40. I bought this Barbour coat i wanted, because it lasts a lifetime. I also got a puppy. It was a bit nutty, but it was how i dealt with my mortality. 5 years later, i took my dog for a walk in the rain in my coat today. It was glorious. You just do the best you can, and find joy where you can. Just not in elf pasta ;) Best wishes!

[@LucasAmericano]

This was beautiful!

[@alleeum]

You’re my new hero. Wow. I’m off to spend the evening trying to think of my own Barbour coat and puppy… ❤️

[@rebeccasford]

@@alleeum Aww, thanks. As David Bowie said, We can be heroes. To others and to ourselves.

[@Just_Loves_Music]

Thank you for sharing this beautiful "it's a complete novel, just in a few sentences" part of your life and I'm very glad you made it to that glorious day!

[@pegm5937]

That just spoke to me so much. Thank you ❤

[@abdullahenani9670]

HANK IS ON A JOURNEY OF MEANING!

[@zyaicob]

This is a massive journey of meaning update

[@teresasloupova6769]

i hoped someone would write that 😁

[@Symphing12]

OMG this is like really old vlogbrothers. Amazing.

[@alexf9709]

Thought it was an old video when KZbin recommended it

[@Mish_Meera]

The vibe was definitely there. Borderline 2.0 level

[@somefishhere]

You know it’s a 2023 video when the runtime is 4:18

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Now that there's no rule for punishments anymore, Hank is free to give himself punishments whenever he feels like it.

[@jessseymour9246]

When I had cancer I had a similar feeling only I was 16. The conclusion I have come to after living an additional 18 years so far is, life isn't a journey where you find meaning. It is a journey where you are constantly creating meaning.

[@themedicdroidx10]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom

[@ClaymorTerorist]

+

[@titania642]

all the yes

[@dennyg727]

+

[@clazdelune]

Yes. Life isn’t about finding the meaning of it. It’s about acknowledging that life is full of suffering and to overcome the obstacles that come with being human ❤

[@RainaRamsay]

"Things are interesting. And I want to keep seeing them." is honestly the most moving anti-suicide statement I've ever heard.

[@RainaRamsay]

Can we get it on merch (genuine)? Proceeds to an anti-suicide charity, perhaps?

[@AndreasWeibel]

I'm still interested in the world and science and people. But I can imagine that some people lose their curiosity at some point in their lives. And I'm not sure if Hank's statment can bring back that curiosity... That being said - I still love his video.

[@littlestbroccoli]

​​@@AndreasWeibelIt's more like.. things become duller. Your depression mutes the world, colors, and the experience of anything joyful. The interesting part about having to face death with cancer is that you're not suicidal. But yes, it's good material to remind those of us who've forgotten that the world offers beauty, still.

[@lenakataeva7525]

Unless suicidal people have depression and aren't interested in anything Other than that it's nice sentence

[@sometalkaboutbeinghuman]

The Vlogbrothers comment sections are truly the most thoughtful place on KZbin. Happy holidays, everyone! Here’s to many more thoughts to share.

[@untappedinkwell]

Happy holidays! Thanks for being here in comments with us!

[@masheroomboi2884]

This is my favorite babish episode

[@ClaymorTerorist]

Happy holidays!! +++

[@TheTexas1994]

Hank Green doing his best John Green impersonation

[@numberoneappgames]

hehehe 😂

[@SpeakShibboleth]

Hank's puff levels are on the rise...

[@heathermurtishaw6757]

😂

[@nicklas7377]

@@SpeakShibbolethIf the curls keep getting longer who knows how big of a puff level Hank could achieve… 😮

[@btbesquire5]

10/10 comment. no notes. perfection

[@spark-matter]

You hit the nail on the head with "I think when you stop wanting, that's the bad part". That's my constant struggle as a person with a chronic illness, it's hard with a more limited set of options for things I can want. Hence why my wheelchair has been upgraded significantly over time cuz sometimes "go faster" is the only thing I can convince myself to want haha. Seriously though, I'm glad to not be the only one thinking about mortality at odd times, there's comfort in the community aspect of the existential crisises.

[@AndreaCrisp]

So true. I am definitely struggling with meaning and wanting these days due to a chronic life altering illness. Adding the climate and political crisis and personal life shit on top. It's a real struggle. I have nerve damage in my dominant hand now from MS and haven't been able to do or create like I used to before my life was turned upside down. I am really trying to create new meaning and develop new skills (like trying to paint with my non-dominant hand), but it's hard when I know that things will only progress over time and get worse. I have always been resilient, but I don't feel like I possess the capacity for resilience anymore. Leaves little room for hope many days. Best wishes to you in your struggle. Here's to trying to focus on the little things that help like going faster. 🤗

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

@AndreaCrisp -- I feel that. I haven't found a perfect or easy answer yet for finding joy in the face of advancing hardship, or refilling my resiliency-reserves, so I don't really have any advice to offer. But I send well wishes out for you and all our fellows struggling. Glad we can at least find each other online, if not the highway of irl-life, and support and encourage one another!

[@Emilyanns8]

@@AndreaCrisp I feel you friend 🥺 wishing us both fulfilling ways forward

[@captainobvious.29yearsago70]

I don't know if this fits into thie conversation, but how fast can you go now?

[@spark-matter]

​@@captainobvious.29yearsago70 enough that my normal comfortable speed is around a jog 😂 i have friends who struggle to keep up lol

[@zmanzono]

I am a very forgetful person and it bothered me for a while that I don't remember the names and faces of teachers and others who were foundational to who I am now. I finally realized that even though I can't name them, I'm still the person they made me, and being myself is honoring them.

[@lillianbarker4292]

As a teacher I’m fine with that. We really don’t get much praise-except my husband who taught kindergarten. I taught because I loved it and learned from my students and loved them. ❤

[@macavity7716]

as someone who works with very young children, i find this so moving and reassuring. i still struggle, sometimes, with the idea that none of the kids i work with will remember me when they grow up. i certainly don't remember any of my caregivers from when i was a toddler. i have to accept that the things i teach them and the way i treat them has value and is important, even if i'll never see how it shapes the people they become.

[@brianw1620]

@@lillianbarker4292 Know that you are deep in the soul of many more than you think, and they praise you silently. I'm 58, and can pull up most of the names off the top of my head. 1st grade - Miss Gaskin (I fell in love with her of course). 2nd - Mrs. Nickerson 3rd - Mrs. Lynde 4th - Ms. Macora (can't get 5th at the moment) 6th - Mrs. Ford (homeroom); Mr. Hamilton (English) 7th - Mr. Bocian (homeroom/social studies) 8th - Mr. Cotter (homeroom/history) Right up there after my parents as the most important people in my childhood.

[@mosaic2476]

i live with chronic amnesia and something that helps me a lot is realising that forgetting isn't the loss of information, but rather a lack of, or unique, connection between implicit and explicit memories, and the you who is trying to recall it. that sense of you who was made by them is the proof you still remember, even if it doesn't align with how we usually think of memory.

[@kyleeshields6812]

❤

[@RamenNoodle1985]

Look at all that curly hair 🤗 Happy Christmas everyone!

[@rlebeau11]

the hair was the first thing I noticed

[@RhondaKL]

My mother had thick curly hair after chemo. She was thrilled,as she’d always had straight and fine hair.

[@ImanZaineb]

Chemo curls! I got them too!

[@MarkThePage]

That hair has got to be why he had to do the Elf pasta now. He looked in the mirror and saw Will Ferrell staring back.

[@_GarlicQueen]

I like his chemo curls! I didn't get any curls post-chemo. But then again, I bleached and dyed the heck out of it once I had a couple inches, so maybe I stunted the potential. xD

[@abdullahenani9670]

Chester was the star of the video despite the brief cameo.

[@anthonynelson6671]

I was hoping we were going to see the cat steal away a noodle.

[@jljordan1]

Cat always star.

[@jooleebilly]

Wait. Chester has a Cameo? Shut up and take my money!

[@CyberGrape]

Chester! 🎉

[@clover0048]

Cameo 💔

[@41-Haiku]

Nothing lasts forever, but we don't stop listening to a symphony just because we know it will eventually end.

[@AnneOnymaus]

I cannot express how much this moved me: perfection. Thank you.

[@piotrgraniszewski8544]

It's not even close, though. When the symphony ends, the observer of the symphony is still there to experience the silence. When you die, you die with the symphony. You cannot experience this void. In other words, the symphony never truly ends. At least for you.

[@proEUcontraIslam]

And death doesn't have to be the end. Consider this: You were dead 150 years ago, and yet you are alive today. Therefore no one can deny the fact that you may be dead in 150 years and alive again in 300 years. Reincarnation is very possible.

[@piotrgraniszewski8544]

@@proEUcontraIslam I thought about it. Yes, it is very curious that we were born in this day and age. But the point of reincarnation really is moot, because the experience is non-transferable. What I mean is that reincarnation gets rid of the self and builds it completely anew. It blurs the line between one and another. When the river meets the sea, the distinction is lost. Might as well say that you and I are the same thing, which is quite a concept in Zen! So when the strangers on the street pass you by, they are like another point of experience, another point of reference in the universal landscape of existence. Different patterns in the universe are experiencing different parts and characteristics of the fabric. It is impossible to experience everything in one go. It is beautiful to think that you, an individual pattern on that fabric, are an integral part of the whole with a unique outlook on life and a unique pattern of awareness. But when you blur the lines this far, you start losing concrete meaning. I put an end to this distinction at the end of my own life. I will never be someone else. But at the same time, I am part of everyone and everyone is part of me. What *is* before you are born and what *is* after you die are incorrectly posed questions that have an undefined answer. Epistemologically it is useless to try to answer that question. I am content with the idea that the only thing I can experience is existence. Get rid of the existence, and you get rid of the 'I' posing the question. It is the most practical thing you can do. In this view, it is possible to cognitively reframe the longing to be a different person into something much more palatable.

[@piotrgraniszewski8544]

@@proEUcontraIslam Additionally, that's an equivocation fallacy. 150 years ago I was not dead. My person was not a thing back then. I was undefined and impossible to reason about. Likewise, in 300 years, my person ('me') will be completely unrecoverable and indistinguishable. There is no evidence that dead people can be resurrected. From the perspective of conscious experience, reincarnation is not a very helpful concept, because this personal experience is not transferable. And if you don't have a problem with the concept of personal death itself, you don't need reincarnation. From my point of view, the continuity of my consciousness is sufficient to explain away those apparent gaps in existence - if 'I' (the conscious experiencer) suddenly ceases to exist (as if in a permanent deep sleep), the point becomes moot. There will be no 'I' to make note of it, no 'I' to realize it's all over, and thus no possibility to experience the apparent discontinuity of experience. And imagining that you could be a different person in a different life a hundred years from now, doesn't bring anything to the table. You cannot experience non-existence, and so you cannot validate reincarnation. What you experience is all there is to you. It is a time-bounded and limited set of experiences if you look at it from an outsider's perspective, but to you, you might not even notice the end of this set. Once you reach the limit of this set, it becomes undefined again. And you won't be around to make note of it.

[@susanheld]

In Anthony Rapp's book Without You, which I read the year my dad died, he talks about advice his friend gave him on grieving: "You have to mourn the loss of who that person held you to be. Because that dies with them. Their vision of you no longer exists. And a whole world of who you are is gone."

[@nathanchasse8189]

Thank you for sharing the words for something I have needed for a long time

[@unclepappy3823]

i've seen Chester for all of .5 seconds and clearly he is perfect, handsome, and i love him. thank you for the opportunity to witness such awesome feline prowess.

[@EcceJack]

Yes :D

[@inMuro]

I am still in awe at how simultaneously ON POINT as wel as completely scatterbrained you are, whilst exuding the most mirthful charm, even whilst talking about dark topics.

[@Andi-gq4yo]

the new curls are absolutely /making/ the will ferrell visual

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

So now Hank can be like Will Ferrell in Elf and Will Ferrell in Stranger than Fiction.

[@Karishma_Unspecified]

"Wanting things together" is probably the best secular meaning to life I have come across. I will make sure to have this in my back pocket for when my Faith in wanes. I find that meaning is a very important tool to fight against the darkness, and I have a lot of it in my life right now. Thanks Hank! DFTBA!

[@JiroTheFro]

+

[@Julie-bq6iz]

May your darkness be swallowed by the light! Blessings to you!✨️❤

[@untappedinkwell]

@@Julie-bq6iz "May your darkness be swallowed by the light" is an excellent line. 10/10.

[@Julie-bq6iz]

​@untappedinkwell Thank you. Blessings to you, too!

[@Greymorn]

For me, the cure for existential dread is gratitude. I am grateful for so many things in my life. Happy Holidays y'all, and thank you Hank for eating Elf pasta!

[@amberbydreamsart5467]

oh this helps, thanks

[@MattPalka]

I once got a cookie fortune that said gratitude is the greatest of virtues and the parent of all others.

[@catgoeswoof8952]

+

[@ClaymorTerorist]

+

[@alkane7876]

Most definitely

[@abdullahenani9670]

“I want to want” is such a good line

[@RosaFriend]

This video hits really hard. There are so many things I want to do in life, and I've stopped putting them off because I don't know how many of them I'll ever be able to afford to do. Living with my parents isn't great, but because I'm not paying rent, what little money I have can go to fun projects like cosplays and such because I don't know if I'll ever have the budget or the time or the space to do those ever again. I really hope so, but my future feels so precarious that I'm unsure I'll ever get to do those things. Great video.

[@danbeckstead2020]

Hey Hank. I finished chemo for Hodgkin's about 6 months before you started I think. Seems like you're going through the same stuff i did and am. Keep after it. Thanks for your insights. Makes me feel less lonely in this experience.

[@stevenrichardbarnett]

3:00 "A Hank Green, who is already great, grows greater still when he plants trees in whose shade he knows he shall not sit under." Good on you, Hank. Mortality is a beast to wrestle with and, like your struggle with cancer proved, you're a worthy opponent. Keep striving and keep planting seeds, sir.

[@washinglinefever]

I keep re-reading that quote and almost tearing up!

[@iprobablyforgotsomething]

"I wanted elf-pasta, then I got it, and now I don't want it ever again. Now we can move on to some other stuff." . That's a helpful reframing, thank you, Hank. It's so easy to get stuck in being upset that our high expectations for something were disappointed, rather than consider that we did achieve what we aimed for and no longer have to be stuck wondering "what if?" about the disappointing thing. Now we know, so we can put it behind us and look towards other questions to find answers to, other goals to aim for, other experiences to be had.

[@LeoMajors]

I'm a 25 year old person who has never had cancer, which makes it wild that I've been coming to these exact same realizations lately. I've been in the "not wanting things" place lately. I've always pursued success and work so hard that I've let it become an excuse to neglect every other part of my life, and it's gotten to a point where I've almost completely stopped enjoying life. I realized it when I couldn't think of what to listen to or watch, or who to talk to, because I realized I barely enjoy those things anymore. When Hank said, "It's good to want things", it didn't sound right to me. I've always prized sacrifice and self-denial in service of my goals, but at some point, if you don't enjoy anything, the goals aren't worth it. We've got to make happiness a priority somewhere up there. If anyone has ideas for how to learn to love your life again, I'd love to hear them. And it's nice to hear Hank doing the same.

[@paolagrando5079]

I try to enjoy little things. A good cappuccino with a smooth foam, for example. I stop to taste the flavours and the texures. It can take some time to slow down and appreciate small stuff, but I find that it helps me. Especially, when I don't feel there is much to be happy any more.

[@iz_en_zi9733]

This hit me really hard. I've been working non-stop all throughout High School, mainly because I've thought it was the thing "to do" (all A's, maxing out credits, etc etc), and all of that work finally "paid off" when I got accepted into MIT last weekend. But, going to a school like that would just be 4 more years of non-stop grind followed by non-stop grind in grad school followed by non-stop grind in a career - and - I'm worried I too am going to miss the good part. I also don't know how to relax. I'm on my final winter break of high school, and because I've already gotten into college, there's litterally NOTHING I *can* stress about, and I realized I haven't been this stress free since 9th grade. But not being stressed is also exhausting? It's all hard to comprehend tbh

[@AlexAzureOtaku]

@@iz_en_zi9733 I spent much of my late teens stressed out trying to 'accomplish' things. In the end, as I was burnt out and depressed, i realised I had to straighten out and build my sense of self again with better understanding of what I wanted. My own good parts that i felt I had missed out on. It's still a work in progress but as a person who easily gets stressed out if things arent as they're 'supposed to be', i found comfort in a middle ground of having some structure and stability in life through practical means (education, a reliable enough job etc) but enough looseness to allow myself wiggle room to change things if they didnt fit. I hit my mid twenties a bit ago and glad to say, things got better than they used to be. I find myself happy sometimes. Even looking forward to the future. Idk if this stranger's anecdote means much but I hope it does. happy holidays and cheers

[@2theMax86]

@LeoMajors & @iz_en_zi9733 Maybe it would be helpful to look at the last thing you remember enjoying and start there? Music especially can be really healing and allow for reminiscing and reflection

[@nessamae3349]

I feel this. Although, I'm at the stage where I "want to want" in Hank's words, but it's like... now what? What am I meant to do or enjoy outside of just progressing onto the next thing? I actually don't really know. I'm stressed out by free time because I don't know what to do with it. I'm also 25 and my current job and lifestyle thankfully allows me more free time than ever. Where I have been starting, is just saying yes to things, saying yes to invites from friends, saying yes to random posters I see for arts events, making time for cool museums or music events. Whatever takes your fancy, just make it a priority to go.

[@butterfly17095]

I love that vlogbrothers can be simultaneously super silly and thought provoking, both of which I needed today. I recently deconverted from Christianity and finding new meaning in life (at Christmas time no less!) is exciting and scary, but wanting to want, and wanting in community sound like pretty good ideas. Happy holidays everyone ❤

[@mariannetfinches]

Happy holidays! Big changes can be scary, so congratulations on doing that. I hope you find good answers & a strong sense of self. I just finished celebrating the winter solstice in secular fashion with friends. So that's still available to you if a new celebration is something that would help.

[@butterfly17095]

@@mariannetfinches thank you! I still definitely plan to continue celebrating Christmas in a secular fashion as I have a lot of family traditions with it unrelated to religion so that definitely helps 🙂🌲

[@FelipeL67]

Why did you decide to deconvert from Christianity if you don’t mind me asking? I went through a particularly strong event in my life as an atheist and it made me agnostic. Since then I’ve read quite a bit on different religions and spiritual practices. In some ways you could say I took the same journey backwards so I’m really curious as to what your story is.

[@butterfly17095]

​@@FelipeL67Sure! I sort of gradually deconverted over several years until last year when I realized I didn't believe in any of it anymore. There's a whoooole lot of reasons but the one that made me realize I wasn't a Christian anymore was the suffering in the world. I just can't justify the idea of a loving perfect God that would allow truly terrible events (genocide, children dying of cancer, natural disasters, serial killers, etc) to happen. Like what would be the point? There's also all the terrible stuff God does in the Old Testament including, well genocide among other things. And I stopped believing in hell years ago because that never made sense to me. Those are just some of the reasons, there are many more. I will say though, I do still find religion fascinating and interesting even though I no longer believe in it, and I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of some kind of spirituality, but the Christian concept of God and its explanation of the world is just illogical to me now. Life is what you make of it and I'm trying now to just be kind and leave the world better than I found it

[@taitcitarella7062]

I love to imagine the cashier checking out Hank green buying only the ingredients for elf pasta

[@vlogbrothers]

I thought she might comment but she had just checked out a good friend and they were still chatting and she rung me up :-)

[@MakinMovies7]

A mate of mine was buying a few things from the supermarket- a cucumber, baby oil and dog food…. The sudden horror she felt when the cashier looked at her … judgementally…

[@flowersandeverythingelse2369]

😂@@MakinMovies7

[@SpectraStarShooter]

Hank your hair is so adorable and curly!!!

[@gingerli14]

The ludicrous dichotomy of this video is at the same time completely unexpected and entirely predictable. Happy holidays Hank! You made my day.

[@Julie-bq6iz]

To quote the John/Taupin song, "how wonderful life is while you're in the world." Thanks Hank, for being you! Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones! ❤💚

[@aceofspades3973]

I'm glad to hear what you said about wanting. A lot of people are very aggressive with the whole "be grateful, be content, don't be greedy!" messaging, and while I'm sure that's helpful to some people, it's never been very helpful to me personally. I've always been maybe a little too OK with just accepting things as they are, and when my depression is at its worst, I totally lose the desire for literally anything. I stop wanting. In my depressed mind, there is nothing conceivable that could make me happy or be worth working toward. And that's a really dark place to be. Wanting is a very important part of being human, and we shouldn't devalue it.

[@eileen7303]

Yes... wanting to want hits me right in my depression too. I'll be thinking about this one...

[@francescakyanda9182]

I’ve never seen such little brother energy in my life 😂

[@shanleee]

The curly hair post-chemo is so wild. Like, I know it’s possible, but I just don’t understand how it does that!!

[@AelwynMr]

I would guess that the hair follicles get deformed while they are not working properly because they are stopped by chemo. Straight hair comes from perfectly round follicles, so a wonky post-chemo follicle would grow a curly hair. Maybe! What's stranger is the beard, it's like his skin has reassessed how much testosterone is in the blood and changed its mind on how much beard it should translate into!

[@tardisrider25]

This is the reason I decided to take flying lessons. I had the sudden realization that I wanted to do that since I was a kid. It was actually death in the family that pushed me to do it. They went with all these things they wanted to do and didn't. I though, have I actually ever made a move to fly a plane, or just talked about it? So I did. I took lessons. Like your elf pasta, I wanted to fly, I got to, and now I don't really want to anymore. But I did it and can move on not wondering about it.

[@rachelclarke1694]

There is nothing I would have rathered more for Christmas than seeing Hank eat Elf pasta. And experimenting trying to elevate it 🤣 Glad youre doing okay Hank. You, your brother, and your work put a smile to my face.

[@sams1982]

The curls! I love your hair-reroll

[@vlogbrotherdave]

I needed Elf x Vlogbrothers crossover content today, thanks Hank 🎄

[@untappedinkwell]

+++

[@Irishsong22]

It's weird having Hank and John being so human right now because I am similarly going through a period in my life where I'm wanting to want! I want community! I want to know why I'm here! I want to know what to do!- and hearing that no one has the answers to that, not even Hank and John, is both scary and comforting. Like we're all on a raft going down a river screaming AHHHHHHHHH!

[@taylornicole5411]

Seeing you and John and so many of my favourite creators (not always but enough that there's been an impact) really lean into joy, in whatever form that takes, has really given me a sort of permission to do the same. Why not try the new hobby? Why not learn the new thing? Why not bake that recipe I saw three years ago? As long as no one is being harmed, why not? So basically, thank you for sharing moments like Elf Pasta. DFTBA.

[@denisehunley9583]

Happy Holidays Nerdfighters!! So proud to be a part of this community, y’all did great this year!! 🥹🫶🏻

[@untappedinkwell]

So did you! Happy Holidays! DFTBA!

[@billboballsaggins5778]

I feel like the meaning to life is one of the most subjective things we can think of. Life is what you want it to be and no one can tell you otherwise. When we die one of two things can happen, one we ascend to some kind of afterlife where we get to chill out with all of our old friends, families and pets till we get bored of that and we come back down here on earth to experience all of pain and misery that comes with life because without those negative aspects of life we can't enjoy the moments of peace and love. Scenario two is that its lights out we lose consciousness like when we fall asleep. I used to be scared of that second scenario but when you think about it it isn't that bad. I don't mind sleep I've never gotten into bed at night and said to myself "I'm really upset that I get to relax and fall peacefully to sleep". I personally don't think life every really ends, the universe is a never ending cycle of what we perceive as life and death but is really a clever illusion we can't and will never be able to fully understand. So at the end of the day just don't over think stuff, if you are breathing right now and you get to eat your favorite meal, listen to your favorite song, and see those you love that's all that really matters and when that day comes when our number is called and its time to leave this earth leave with grace and love in your heart and know that everything's gonna be alright.

[@debrachambers1304]

It's amazing how we forget almost every single moment of our lives. So many mes from the past are dead, their experiences lost to time.

[@MBMCincy63]

I like this statement, I may borrow it. I feel it holds true for me also. Thanks.

[@Rayowag]

Wanting things together is truly one of the things that keeps me going including when it's just a group chat debating which recipes we need to learn for when societal apocalypse hits. Also, we need more Chester!

[@willb.nimble6749]

You're a good one, Hank Green. I hope we can all want in community together, and want our way to a better world.

[@connection_ok]

Nihilistic elf pasta is like a bad result from a rap name generator

[@AsmodeusMictian]

God Damnit Hank. Dec. 26th will mark a year since my mother's passing. Apparently it took a guy with cancer to show me how the hell to start living again...... ....Thank you. May you continue wanting for decades to come, sir. Please stay safe, and know that you made at least one person's holidays slightly brighter.

[@GTaichou]

My deepest condolences. I am glad this video came around at the right moment to help lift you up, internet stranger. ❤

[@abdullahenani9670]

Merry Christmas Hank :)

[@AbbreviatedReviews]

So the Justin Timberlake hair is really coming in strong. That's fun.

[@reubenfong1961]

Vlogbrothers Cooking series is my favourite unofficial series of the channel.

[@manyChameleons]

This video is a beautiful mix of 2007 silly/random vibes along with the more genuine contemplative style we usually see in Thoughts from Places/The Format videos. Best of luck with your continued journey of meaning, Hank! Thanks for sharing these glimpses with us. I can't wait for the weird Christmas Eve video 👀

[@Karishma_Unspecified]

Chester?! Why didn't we hear about Chester yet??!!

[@katriarchy]

right???!

[@untappedinkwell]

Sometimes I think of my past selves like book characters. They're not dead, they're just having secret adventures after the end of their book. And other times... I know that I carry them with me, and that sometimes I need to visit or do something with them. It's so fun getting to do things that Younger Untappedinkwell and Present Day Untappedinkwell want to do at the same time. It's nice. ^^

[@MattPalka]

I really enjoy this metaphor and way of lookin at collabing well with past selves.

[@untappedinkwell]

@@MattPalka I'm glad! I find a lot of joy in it, so it's nice to know that it's enjoyable for someone else too!

[@thactotum]

that kinda sums up 2023 for me. I don't know if I want a redo or to forget it ever happened.

[@hello-bl1lk]

Even the new curls are so buddy-esque!

[@oiitsoranglee]

you know, i didn't think you and john sounded very much alike but then you started talking about death and i was like "oh..."

[@kgbofficer5629]

I have literally always thought that it couldn’t be that terrible because it’s literally just pasta with sweetness

[@luckystarite]

I’m not a nihilist, I’m an OPTIMISTIC nihilist! :) Glad you finally had your Elf pasta ❤

[@Naiadryade]

Yesterday on threads Hank was like "this is a dumb video" but actually it's quite profound.

[@SHABAD0O]

Thanks for putting this out here, Hank. Over the past few years, I've had bouts of existential dread that last for several weeks at a time. I find myself returning to the thought "I will slip into nothingness someday, and it might even be someday soon" repeatedly, especially as I lie in bed at night. Sometimes the panic that that train of thought causes me hits me like a truck, and other times it's just a slow, gnawing burn of anxiety throughout the day. It's awful. What's worse is I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it, because it feels like a curse. I don't want to inflict that train of thought on anyone else. So again, thank you for this video and this avenue to type my feelings out. DFTBA, y'all.

[@emilycarr2913]

I made my boyfriend’s family an Elf pasta kit for Christmas last year 😂 and we did eat it!

[@kenzgitz9884]

"We all change when you think about it, we're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people you used to be." - 11th Doctor. The different versions of you throughout your life are a part of you and so are all the people you've known.

[@butiliketacos]

Existential crises do not count as stocking stuffers, but I appreciate this none the less.

[@twigwigsoso]

grabbing a handful of pasta for the thumbnail and not using it for the thumbnail is so humanely beautiful

[@seanthebean99]

Hank's gastroenterologist: 😔

[@untappedinkwell]

+

[@YukiDemonOfHell]

oh this is very relatable! I'm currently in a want slump that I don't know how to get out of since it was caused by my chronic illness. Because too often after I got sick I'd want something but realize I can't have or do it or I'll feel the consequences very hard. And now I think my brain has decided wanting is too hard. and life really lost a lot of color because of it.

[@kanet77]

2023 was, in so many ways, a big pile of garbage for me and for my loved ones. It wasn’t one big thing. It was many big things. From what I can tell, a lot of people hit some limit in the past year. Watching Hank overcome cancer was one of the positive highlights. Followed closely by watching John Green lead Nerdfighteria into a battle against TB and pull out a win despite overwhelmingly poor odds. At the start of this year John advised we should all "take it down a notch". I was on board. If 2023 taught me anything, it was how to distinguish between the things I can and cannot control. John, Hank, everyone: have a wonderful 2024.

[@sarahp6512]

Most of my existential dread is because i have an awful memory, so I've forgotten so many important events from my life. If who I am is a collection of lived experiences, WHO AM I!?

[@CyanPhoenix_]

honestly, the idea of "things are interesting and I want to keep seeing them" is what keeps me going

[@Nick-ht2db]

I don’t remember the books that I have read anymore than the meals that I’ve eaten; even so they have made me - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[@Jemini4228]

Tis the night before Christmas So across cyberspace I send my best wishes To the whole human race Happy holidays to all the Green family and Nerdfighteria. May you all have lots of success and happiness in 2024! xx

[@geoffgodofbiscuits]

Hank saying “Eat all the elf pasta you can!” = Greatest wake up alarm sound and motivational statement of 2023

[@IrisGlowingBlue]

Late motivational statement for a year but if it brings you joy

[@Andrea-zb9tp]

Ah. The journey of Meaning. I really enjoyed this. Happy Holidays, Hank!

[@kingkorva5720]

"Not because I want to change the universe but because I want". Sometimes you just need to want something, anything, because that is what it means to be alive.

[@lafayettethebaguette1418]

I love the curly hair! I also think that even though I feel existential my all the energy and atoms that are me will exist as long as the universe does! And that I will live on in the way my life impacted others!! And that’s valuable! Merry Christmas!

[@quidditchmum]

A whole new thing to overthink. Merry Christmas John. 😂

[@mariannetfinches]

I've noticed John looks younger these days. His puff got curlier, too

[@quidditchmum]

😂 I know this is Hank! I meant merry Christmas to John from Hank! 😂😂Funny

[@icepick117]

love how the 'for the thumbnail' bit didn't end up as the thumbnail 😂

[@bzporto]

Hank, I love "having" you in my life, you are thought provoking and authentic and amazing.

[@terazach]

I've always said that wants were not the same thing as needs, but now I feel that eating Elf Pasta is a need

[@GruffyBears]

When I was a few years younger I would be nightly visited by a sense of existential dread so powerful I would be unable to sleep. The way I resolved my feelings was by acknowledging my powerlessness. I do not get more life or increase the value of my time because I spend it dreading the end. I still get the dread sometimes but now I'm able to acknowledge it and let it sit peacefully in my tapestry of emotion. I hope this perspective helps other people.

[@xbettalove]

There's a line from The Mountain Goats that I have on my fridge "Do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive". Eating Elf pasta is that.

[@thisisbgm]

"Eventually we'll all die, but we will be wanting together" a song, a sermon, a story

[@Aleezah143]

Ah, the universe is balanced. There is a cat brother, and a dog brother.

[@iridescentdemon]

0:32 I love Chester!!! He looks very concerned by the elf pasta

[@FieryArdent]

I had kidney cancer removed almost exactly a year ago; I completely relate that being so close to the possibility of death really changes your views and perspectives on what life is. For me, it made me realize that this life is temporary, and that life after this existence far out weighs our short existence here on this earth.

[@akriandurin151]

Hank, if you see this, seeing your kitty almost made me cry. I lost my 18 y/o cat this year.He was an orange tabby... his name was Chester. I hope y'all have as many great years together as we did. I've tried very hard on and off to enjoy the moment and to find the 'want' again. The world makes you tired and it's hard. But it's worse to look back and yearn for a second chance in all the moments wasted.

[@MattPalka]

I heard recently that each starling in a murmuration only looks at seven other starlings. And it all works. I'm aiming for being able to succeed like that with good people. Play my part in the good fractal even if I don't see the success of it. SAME. Also, wanting is not the same thing as liking.

[@dragonflies6793]

I am gen z, and I have often felt that I was born into a world that does not guarantee me a future. Being disabled and queer and part of a plural system (basically instead of one person in one body we're like a whole lot of spirits doing life together, and I no longer know what qualifies as personhood anyways) adds to that. We have become progressively more ill and disabled over time with our chronic illness, including at a time when we didn't know any disability theory and just kind of blamed it all on ourselves. The systems and structures we have to navigate are not designed for us, and in fact are frequently designed *against* us. A few years ago, because our present sucked so bad and because we couldn't see a future for ourselves, we thought the only answer was to die. That didn't happen. I still can't see a future for us, but I know that it exists, and our present is on a better path than we were. I fear losing what we have, but it's comforting to know that even when it's gone and even as memories fade the events and the relationships of our present have shaped us so thoroughly that they are effectively contained in our being, they are part of who we are. As trees grow older they gain more rings each year. They don't lose the old ones. I will live on in my future self, even if I haven't met them yet.

[@PoeLemic]

It really tore me apart when my Mom got cancer in the late 1980's, and I went to every cancer therapy with her. I think they were chemo visits back then. EVERY SINGLE ONE, because I wanted to spend the most time with her that I could. She was born in 1930, so she was probably (what?) late 50's. Maybe 57 or so. Well, we really thought we would lose her. I mean it. It was close, but she had surgery, did the chemo, did radiation, and fought back hard. Well, she didn't die from cancer back then -- but she did die -- from something else (as they said she would). Which, she did die, over December of 2023 at 93+. So, just because you get cancer, doesn't mean it's the end, and you could easily have years & years & years of life left -- if you fight it. So, I'm glad that you are fighting your battle, and are winning so far. Congrats to you and to my Mom too.

[@JiroTheFro]

This is exactly the video I need to see today. All week I’ve been spiraling into a hyperfixation that was good in the moment but not helping me in the long run. I’m slowly crawling myself back out of the rabbit hole and this video is one more hand hold on the way up. I did learn a good amount of things about myself that I’ll carry with me from said rabbit hole, but it also feels good to get my mind working on other projects again

[@joyrowancasey788]

One of my favourite songs is by Streetlight Manifesto and the chorus is "So you were born, and that was a good day / Some day you'll die, and that is a shame / But somewhere in the between is a life of which we all dream / And nothing and no one will ever take that away." It's something I try to remember every day. Love your videos and I hope y'all have a wonderful holiday season

[@zenivinez]

I'm a software developer with multiple decades of work under my belt at this point. I sometimes come across my prior work and I am blown away by my former self. I cannot fathom my current self fully understanding and implementing the code in that project. This is always the case for me because I can only really retain knowledge of what I am currently working on and the tools I am using to make it. It feels like I'm looking at another person's work. A person with a much deeper understanding of those tools and that project.

[@michaelbartlett6864]

That was quite the stream of consciousness! It's okay to want, just remember to do no harm if you can avoid it and try to help others when you can - otherwise live, learn, enjoy and laugh as much as possible and let there be "Elf Pasta" when needed!

[@vildekongtorp5569]

sometimes when i wonder how bad my depression really is i'll start asking myself if i still want to want. and if the answer is yes, i shouldn't worry too much about going through the motions. thanks hanks.

[@danielstorll4537]

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” Often accredited to Martin Luther and popularized by MLK Jr., it’s a fitting quote to have without a confirmed author. Being a part of the grand narrative of sentient life that only gets to exist because we write it is a wild and beautiful thing.

[@AlexAzureOtaku]

I always think photographs are amazing. I try to remember the faces of my earliest teachers and friends and I can describe them in parts but it's like trying to see them entirely in almost impossible in the fogs of forgotten memories. I remember their photos and stories better than the moments I had with them. Maybe remembering them is all I can do in whatever capacity I can but in my small cosmos, knowing that they existed and had an impact is meaningful enough by itself. I hope to be a good impression on others for a little while after I last

[@trudyannbuckley]

"Things are interesting and I would like to keep seeing them," sums up my drive for survival as well. Thank you for sharing, Hank. Happy 2024

[@cadebabade]

The relationship between past self and memory is something Ive thought about quite a bit. I’ve daily journaled for the past 4 years and when I read back these fairly detailed accounts of my days I usually have no memory of them. Even things that felt significant in a day or week I’ll only have vague halfbaked memories. It’s curious but it doesn’t stop me from being that detailed. As if I’m trying to keep the memory of my current self alive as long as my journals are

[@adamnaameeazim6365]

Hank, I think you accomplished your mission. When I saw this video on KZbin I immediately assumed it was a Vlogbrothers video from 2013 until I saw the "posted 22 hours ago" right below it. This feels exactly like a video posted to this channel 10 years ago in the best way possible.