Let's talk about my failed attempts...

[@gottabesandi]

Please never delete this. I have never heard anyone address problems with self-love and your words about it resonated with me. Right now I’m not at a low, but I’m hoping I can come back and watch this for the reminder to take care of myself so I am able to turn and take care of others.

[@KingFunkin]

“If you already feel like a burden, you’re not going to call somebody”. So true. We all need to believe (however hard it may be to think like this) that people care. People love us. The burden of our problems is a much lighter load for people we care about than the burden of us not being around anymore.

[@laurenbaker9016]

She is such beautiful and talented girl and it's a shame she's had such difficult time with success or it exacerbated it. I would have loved to look like her in high school but not with those problems. And her voice.

[@laurenbaker9016]

I have always rooted for her.

[@MrWilloWV]

This is not something I usually say to people, but well: I'm glad you failed.

[@sarahcrane6940]

Everyone fails at something no one is perfect, a test an exam list goes on and on.. That's how we learn

[@OS-yg9fr]

@@sarahcrane6940 you didn't understand what he was trying to say, did you?

[@steelchives2522]

@@sarahcrane6940 He was glad she failed suicide... you realise that he meant that... right?

[@sarahcrane6940]

@@steelchives2522 no I didn't know he meant that. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean that either. Why say it's not something I would usually say!? Any how's all I was emphasizing on was the fact everyone fails at certain times.

[@steelchives2522]

Because he isn't normally glad people fail. He was glad she failed at suicide.

[@saravanfulpen2372]

"I think what's sadder to me than actually trying to take your own life, is the morning after.... because I've never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn't want to see." Oh my gosh I have never FELT a sentence in my life as deeply as that one right there.

[@eventerjazz6]

I absolutely felt this so much too.

[@shawncage5563]

I agree😢

[@gotsm9959]

I've seen the afterlife and it's not a place for little girls.

[@asicshot]

23:47 - 24:44 - "We would never accept somebody coming into our lives and talking to us the way we talk to ourselves in our heads, so we should never do it to ourselves." Amen

[@j.goggels9115]

Truth hurts no matter where from.

[@Sasyemy.]

"I've never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn't want to see" If this isn't already a lyric then it needs to be. Thank you for staying with us xx thinking of you 💓

[@ThatJessKid]

“I just wanted to remove the problem and the problem was me” I don’t think I’ve ever related to something so much in my life. I love you 💙

[@janetdevlin]

I'm so so sorry you relate :(

[@Felicity-T]

This is exactly my problem!! Iv tried so many times but each one failed!

[@Chloee234]

@@Felicity-T I've been there. I hope you never feel the need to end your life again. We're in this together❤

[@Neilhuny]

I have no idea if this helps but I am certain *EVERYONE* has people that love them, people that need you to be around - whatever your issues are. So, even if you can't see your inner beauty, dozens of other people can and we need you. We might not be able to name it, describe it, know that it is there, but it matters, you matter, you are important.

[@quemeese]

@@Neilhuny I'm sorry, but............ blah blah blah

[@michellewahlfeldt2598]

12 years old I tried taking my life, was abused by a 19 year old family friend, that lived was us, and did not want to tell anyone feeling like a burden. I never let it out, and I just looked at everyone from inside my body, feeling trapped wondering why do I feel so invisible. Anyways, so one day after I decided enough was enough, that I was putting an end to the abuse, by ending myself... I took all my sisters psych meds from when she had previous episodes, opened the cabinet and started taking handful of pills from various bottles. Off I went to my room, crying alone my mother had left, with my stepdad and sisters so it was quiet in the house. I started feeling really strange, heart-beating so fast, and terror struck I am dying and I cannot tell anyone... We had no working phone and everyone was now gone. So turned on the shower got in clothes on and all, sat and prayed I would get through this.... Noticed my speech was now almost gone, could not talk jaw was locked and started to move one way and the upper jaw the opposite way grinding my teeth and jaw hard. I sat there, and heard the doors to the car slam so I got out of the shower, dressed and dried my hair went to go just be around my family.... So here I was, they were getting ready to leave for church, and no one noticed anything strange at all... I was normally quiet they were busy, and they looked back at me and said we are going to church you coming? Yes I was, so I hopped in the car sat in the back staring out the window and off we went. Arrived to church and was feeling, faint, sweating, and my jaw still locked so anxious, anxiety filled thought everyone was staring at me noticing me paranoia..... So I left the sermon and walked out to sit alone in the hallway where a man approached me asked me how i was doing... He introduced himself and asked my name, but I could not talk so I mumbled sorry my mouth is hurting, and so can't really talk...Politely he said oh okay nice meeting you Michelle, smiled and he went on his way... So there I sat until the drugs wore down, took hours and hours, lingering days... Anyways I made it, and my mother still does not even know about the horror I lived through, back in those days taht brought all the issues, and problems along with me throughout all my life... It is okay though, now I know and realize I can do better, and be better with just opening up and allowing others into help me, ,deal with the past and I am grateful that I can do that... I just lost two friends, to suicide both were male and still very young, and both were very much respected in the community. One friend I talked to an hour before he hung himself under the bridge chatted on messenger... He was also here the day before talking about how he just sold his old house, and had to do some prep work before they come over, and he bought a brand new house... . He was a boilermaker, a father of two little girls, one only 6 months old, but he had hidden secrets, demons I guess you could say.... LOL the last words he said to me was I have to go I have to take a sh*t, and went home walking out the door waving goodbye... It was the next day he was cleaning out his house that sold, and he was drinking with his buddy doing work... When he just walked away from his buddy grabbed a strap from the trunk of his car, and he walked across the street killed himself under the bridge... One of the saddest things I was listening to scanner, and heard the entire thing not knowing it was him at all trying, they were trying to revive . He was 32-33 young, months later another 42 year old male friend they found him, hanging in the closet and a month before his ex-gf committed suicide taking her life, they left behind a 14 year old only child little boy. Days are all coming colliding together, and after losing over 12 friends in the last five years... Young all my age to overdoses, or suicide, car accident, well it has made me such a stronger person in coping with reality. I overthink everything, and especially the days I sit and I question if I could have noticed a slight change.. A change in the suicidal friends, could I have saved their life, but now I do know cannot change the past, and these things sometimes happen....It is hard to explain, the trial and tribulations, one has to endure and some go through every day.... It is every ounce of feeling, triggering you some days, from the smallest little mishaps even... questioning ourselves until our brains bleed with remorse, and guilt.... If I did not become a mother, and I really know I would not be here today.... Yea sadly I truly believe that, from the day being told you will never have kids, to having my 2 boys.... After the odds were not in my favor, life sucked thinking, that I could never live a life like others, with the gift of having children..... So life was not becoming about me anymore, and I woke up that day after my 12 year old son was born and thought, wow this is life changing I never felt this kind of love, and wanting to protect anyone so much in my entire life like I do today. A day never goes by, that I am not so grateful to have them here with me, no matter what I do the simple feeling I get looking at them sleep, or catching them being goofy, is the reason I continue to fight for our lives !!!!! I will not give up, and I will fight for anyone I see could possibly be giving out clues too, maybe hiding and putting on a happy face to make others feel comfortable... It is you I will fight for you too, reaching out even if it is just a listening ear just to see if you are okay, and maybe that one act could save more lives. Life really is grand, you just have to look in the right places, and work out the kinks that keep pulling at your brain, whispering painful reminders of your dark past, and sometimes present thoughts, your brain triggers them every now and then it is how you handle them that is the life changer..... So yes it is work and sometimes a lot of it, but you are worth it, and that is never going to be untrue no matter how much you think otherwise. take care everyone

[@ambermccune]

“I used to believe life wasn’t for me” that’s exactly how I feel now, I’m struggling so much to not take my own life

[@wendydavies8070]

Amber, Life is for you, God has given it to you, He knows you. Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life and he tells all people that are weary and heavy laden to come to Him and He will give you rest. Spend time praying to God through Jesus, talk to Him. You are so loved that Jesus gave His life for you but rose again from the dead and is there for you to come to Him. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.

[@spiritwardiaries]

Hello Amber, I'm sorry your hurting, we don't know each other, who knows where in the world you are from me. But I do know that feeling, I struggled with it for many decades when I lived a 'suicidal lifestyle'. The one thing I do know, that stopped me from taking my own life, is this... our soul is immortal, there is another side. This world we see, the one we 'live' in is not the only one. And taking our lives will not take the pain away, we will find ourselves still alive, on the other side wishing that we had not done so. I don't know what your struggle is, but please don't do it. Will keep you in my prayers.

[@spiritwardiaries]

@daarpe17 Gen X

[@denmill5564]

Hey Amber, sorry to hear your feeling that way. I hope to encourage you to reach out for help. The most uncomfortable part was the first phone call ,scheduling a meeting, and showing up.ok it's all hard and awkward. BTW, I found out my anxiety is really more, I am bi- polar, knowing this I asked for help from my GP Dr.. Meds and a mental health specialist put me on a path to not feel bad about myself.

[@tonyapatterson-rector6609]

My husband has had severe depression with suicidal ideation and multiple attempts for the 30+ yrs we’ve been together. I have always said “Depression is like a cancer on the soul.” I hope you stay in your “remission” and keep finding your tomorrow’s ❤️

[@shaunamccusker]

You are an inspiration, Janet… I can say as a psychotherapist, but these things are not easy to talk about, and you doing this in the way you have done, it gives people permission and courage to do so. I hope people reach out and I’m glad that you got the help that you needed and hope that you’ll always reach out for help in the future. ❤

[@drsmiley1000]

I hope she stays strong. She is a very special gift to this world. Very special.

[@sayven]

"Times can be really hard but they get better" That's the most powerful thing I can remind myself of when I need to

[@jamessicker]

Not for me

[@amyt2035]

I understand the good intention behind this phrase, but I really don't like it when people say this. It makes me feel worse because it's meaningless - no one knows if things will get better, no one has a crystal ball and sometimes believe it or not, things don't get better for some people. Saying this can just lead to more disappointment down the line if it doesn't happen. I would prefer if people said something still uplifting but also realistic, such as "as long as you're alive there's a chance you can find happiness and a chance is better than nothing" or "you'll never know if things will get better if you don't try".

[@markeysparkeymarkey]

I think your sense of humour/ability to laugh/ to see the hope in a hopeless situation is what saved your life. You’re amazing, and there is no better therapy than for people in a similar situation to listen to you. You’re helping thousands of people, and that’s a gift. The world would have a huge void if you had succeeded. Thank you for staying 💛

[@ElsiaStar]

“I’ve never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn’t want to see.” This is so accurate coming from someone who has a long history of suicidal ideation. People assume when a person fails a suicide attempt they feel happy afterwards that they’re still alive. But for me it was just one more thing I failed at and would lead me to feeling even lower than I thought possible.

[@charliey3287]

Another thing I failed at. Ditto. 😭

[@MsSonnencreme]

I am glad you failed ! I wish you strength.

[@AlisonWonderland999]

A Peruvian shaman once told me, "A lot of Westerners are possessed and don't even know it." A lot of us certainly seem to be doing silent internal battle with what you might call our demons -- automatic negative self-talk. Being aware of this and deliberately framing things differently is the only way to stop the "demons" winning. "Failing" at suicide, for example, could be viewed as them not getting their way, and giving ourselves a chance to let other voices be heard... such as the still, quiet voice we have buried deep within us that knows who we are and knows how to be all right.

[@heidicross6878]

I remember when you appeared on X Factor. You were so shy and sweet and talented. It wasn't obvious that life was kicking you around so much that you came to despise yourself. I am so glad that you fought your demons.......because it is wonderful to see that you're (still) in the world.

[@padmcg]

Don't know what to say except I'm glad you're still around and making other people's lives so much brighter by sharing your music and talent with the world and please continue to do. 💖💖

[@janetdevlin]

Thank you Paddy 🥺💓

[@nuzum11]

@@janetdevlin some here im Glad you re sill around. To

[@colinwalke1234]

Oh, Janet what a dark and painful journey you've experienced...you poor love. My heart feels your suffering and I praise and thank God you are still with us....I truly hope and pray for your recovery. You have so much love to give and receive through your music and...through just being beautiful you ❤ God Bless...x

[@jakep5121]

I'll bet there was a lot of crying when your friends and family seen this video. Very Very brave of you to do this. You've probably saved countless people and this video will continue to save people.

[@traceybowyer5955]

"when you don't look after yourself you indirectly hurt those around you because if you don't respect yourself you can't respect the other people in your life" Powerful!!

[@tonymillward3755]

Totally fuckin irrevelant...you have obviously never been there....

[@vivtallents9543]

I can not say how powerful your messages are. Well done for being so open. This will have saved people.

[@fireandicemix]

I’ve never cursed a sunrise like the ones I didn’t want to see Wow, that statement, incredible insight of such a emotionally complex experience

[@slappymcfuqnutz3707]

I guess everything happens for a reason... I just saw your video about alcoholism and this was next on suggestions. I am 38 years old and have been struggling with bipolar depression, anxiety, PTSD, and dissociative disorder my entire life. I have never heard someone explain their experiences in such a relatable way. Thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences with the world. I sincerely hope that those who are feeling alone right now will be able to find familiarity, comfort, and solace in your words and be able to pull through the darkness that surrounds them.

[@fireandicemix]

The fact that you recorded this in one take is not only impressive, but made every word so impactful and personal, your eye contact and clear heartfelt honesty is what makes me admire & respect you so much. Sending huge love from a fellow NI person. Oh and - love the new album, really well done

[@RobDBailey]

This is such a beautiful, brilliant, needed video. Unfortunately I find it incredibly relatable as I struggle a lot. But this helped, maybe it's only for the moment, but it did. Thankyou for opening up the conversation, and I really hope this is helping people, and I hope everyone is doing as well as they can, and are reaching out if they need too.

[@dacop]

After all you've been through, if "livin' just insn't for everybody" but "what's for you, won't go past you" makes me think there's a reason those opiates didn't do their job that time, I dunno what's looking out for you but damn am I glad you're still here! 💙

[@janetdevlin]

These guardian angels are on overtime here 😂

[@lil_weasel219]

Don't particularly like this line of reasoning. Were those other people too unvaluable to be made to fail in their attempts? Sorry but it basically comes down to that. That is the premise in your comment. Sometimes suicide/death survivors/their family have ideas that there was some sort of divine intervention to save them, but that is an illusion. Had those other, sadly "sucessful" people not succeeded, many of them would have the same impression. But it's just that, mathematical probability. This rhetoric doesnt actively hurt those dead people, but it is a rather toxic mindset, and the same thinking pattern may or may not replicate itself into other areas of life.

[@susanrichardson1176]

My 15-yr old daughter is going thru severe depression and coincidentally she loves singing and performing and oddly seems to pull it all together onstage while life seems to be falling apart on a daily basis at home. I'm so glad to hear how you got thru all this, and thank you for your candor; it's inspiring. I know it's really hard for people suffering thru depression, but it's also really hard for parents. I can't believe sometimes that she can't see how great she is... I am so happy you were a failure at suicide. The problem was NOT you. You champion life, and inspire so many. Keep on being you; it's the most beautiful thing in the world.

[@squidzmusic8566]

You are an absolute inspiration. I cant believe its taken until March 2022 for me to find this. Each word you speak is as real as its gets! I have been down the same road. Is it wrong to say I'm glad someone else has experienced this as well? So now I know - there is another person that has experienced what I have. Thank you!

[@rbakerphoto1]

I'm 56 now and it's taking me this many years to acquire the wisdom I have. So much I would like to share with younger people regarding self acceptance and how we relate to society. Discovering life's meaning. Janet, I started following you not just for your talent but to watch you grow and mature to see how you cope with Fame.

[@figeepoet]

@Jemand Zufälliges I couldn't help but respond when I saw your comment. The one thing that struck is, there is no going back and anything I've done has made me who I am today. However, thinking back, there are things I wish I had been more aware of. No matter how life is, I could have loved me so much more than I used to. It's taken decades to build up self-love and inner confidence. I was always so capable; so resilient; a caring, loving person - but I couldn't see it. I was too self conscious - which in itself isn't such a bad thing but, when it's coupled with harsh self-criticism, it is debilitating and soul destroying. You have everything within you to enjoy your life. Go within and really know yourself...learn what it is that makes you happy. Never allow someone else's opinion of you to change who you are. Know that how you feel about everything is your truth; your intuition will always guide you - if your gut instinct tells you something, trust it. Don't try to be what someone else thinks you should be; or, try to be someone you're not just to fit in. If you feel you're trying hard to fit in somewhere, the having to try hard is probably a good indication its not for you. Celebrate you...your youth, energy, health and your dreams...follow them! Perfection does not exist...don't waste your time striving for it. Your best is always good enough. You are unique...you are here to be you! You are here to make your mark in this world. What would you always want to be remembered for? For me, as a 59 yr old grandmother of 6, I instill in my grandchildren that they are loved; they are capable of anything they go for and, it doesn't matter what anyone else says, they are wonderful human beings. So please, do whatever you need to do for you to push you forward to being the best version of you possible. Maybe listen to KZbin videos of uplifting messages, self belief meditations. .or perhaps one of the many wonderful pieces of relaxing music - whilst you daydream a while...and plan what you'll do to create your happy life. This is probably going to look a mile long when I click the arrow to upload...but, if I've said even one thing that makes a difference for you...that's enough. :-) Live . Love . Laugh and Let go daily. Have a wonderful life Jemand :-)

[@ashleylynn353]

Thank you for opening up about this. I'm pretty open about my mental health and attempts, but I've never talked about dissociation because I feel people wouldn't understand. Seeing you talk about it makes me feel a bit less alone.

[@johanpretorius5614]

I, for one, am extremely grateful you are still here. You have lightened up my life so much. I watch your "you are my sunshine" with my 5-year-old daughter multiple times a week, I know you have lightened her life as well. Sending you much love from South Africa! Lived through my wife going through rehab twice, and I am so proud of people who can fight through the darkest times. ❤️

[@jdwheeler.357]

Just always remember that there are a lot of us out here that love you, and appreciate you, and want you to continue to be a part of our lives. 🤟❤

[@janetdevlin]

🥺💓

[@verox_the_camo_fox]

You are so right ! I wish Janet and everyone out there all he best! After the dark night there is a brighter day.

[@kornelkovacs5662]

I hope you got to the point or will get to the point where it is not us for whom you would like to see the next morning. You might talk about that in the video, I was just not in the mood today to watch this video with this topic from you. ( btw just received you DVD we will listen to it with my wife and my daughter :) )

[@JayHam20]

Sad thing is any of us going through this type of thing know there's alot of people who love and care for us which only adds to the inner guilt internally as we still feel a hindrance to others for being how we are. If you're in a position where you hate yourself then its extremely difficult to appreciate how others feel about you that love you. Everyday is a battle and sadly some of us lose the battle. I relate so much to this girls experience. Am in same boat

[@estherpennington7826]

Thank you for sharing such raw experience. It is greatly appreciated. You are so not alone

[@gmc5618]

Im in a really dark place right now, I've been suicidal since I was 13,I'm nearly 20 and I've lost count as all my attempts have blurred. I just feel like living isn't right for me but I'm taking this as a sign to hang about another day or so Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability ❤️

[@mattyjazzy8687]

life is beautiful, you will get through this. Sending you all the love and hugs

[@andyross2788]

Please reach out and talk, it's so important. I've been there myself and i know how it feels to be in crisis. If you ever need to talk, pls msg me.

[@cliffbutler4585]

Keep strong 💪

[@taylorcwimberly]

As Janet said in the end of this video...there are so many resources to reach out for help during these times, and if feelings of guilt/burdensome arise, understand that when we are existing in a state where we feel we need a little more guidance to get "out" of it, there are people on the other end of those lines whose sole purpose is to assist us during those times. It doesn't have to get to a darker place to be accepted on the other end of the call/chat/message. ❤ Thank YOU for your honesty & vulnerability.

[@harmanjeetsingh3955]

Being sensitive to life can be a gift as well as a burden. Sending you the love from Australia. If you ever need someone to listen, just call x

[@victoriapitt2305]

Part of loving yourself is giving yourself the grace of being an imperfect human. I've made so many mistakes not not lived up to my own standards but the key to not letting it eat me up is to breathe and find forgiveness in my heart. Sending love to you Janet and to all you beautiful people!

[@ibrahimchaudhry9024]

You are a beautiful Soul, Janet. There are innumerable Souls that love you... besides your family & friends. Remember, you are loved. Majestically. 🙏🏼🌼🌷🕊️🎶❤️⭐💎🌿

[@ibrahimchaudhry9024]

My Soul... loves your Soul, Janet. All our Souls here... Simply love & prize your heartwarming Soul. 🙏🏼💖🐦🌿🕊️🎷🌺

[@medicalcerts8489]

You are an amazingly brave young woman! I am firstly a mum but I am also and recovering alcoholic/drug addict/ gambler. I have done two bouts of rehab and whilst I am maintaining my recovery. I find my mental health has never been worse.. It seems that professionals want to blame mental health issues on addiction. I recently said to my psychiatrist "I always thought it was the drink/drugs made me mad! When in fact it was madness made me drink/drug"... I worry so much about my daughter's because of my behavior... We watch your videos together...it's a blessing for me as a mother in recovery to watch a young woman like yourself discuss these issues. It opens up the dialogue for us. So thank you Janet for your honesty, I hope you realize how important your honesty and empathy. A thousand blessings to you...I pray to find the peace and happiness you deserve!!! You are a credit to your family, to all of us in recovery... Mise Le Meas ❤️ If any needs a friendly understanding ear, I'm here!!! "Cause after all tomorrow is nearly here.. another day, a new start!!" Peace and Love to you all Xx

[@ExtraNewSuperHero]

This hit hard...Stay strong everybody!

[@lmo1034]

I'm so glad you're still around! I am so glad I've found your videos. A whole bunch of XFactor videos popped up on my time line and I came across yours again. I wanted to see where you'd ended up and came across your KZbin videos. I've come across them at a time where I've decided to try and do some work on myself, hoping to become a full fledged human one day! Finding your videos is like finding a friend. You are charismatic, warm, funny and beautiful honest. I'm so grateful to you for sharing your story. Stay strong, we got this. xoxo

[@JaRew]

I didn’t know who you are before tonight. I’m still not sure I understand where your fame came from but your singing is awesome. Hearing your story means a lot to me as someone who has struggled with self harming in the past who still struggles with severe bouts of depression. I wasn’t expecting to have this moment tonight when I found your cover of Zombie (one of my favorites). I’m glad I could experience this and have this moment. Thanks for being here to share this and give me that moment with you. I like your music and I like you too!

[@stevenmacdonald1129]

Wow. I will say this - you have GUTS. You are in a position to give so many people a positive influence. Imagine how many people you saved! That is such a powerful thing, I saw you on BGT. You were amazing. This is MORE amazing.

[@mrbrit]

I totally get this. In the struggle to find the true version of yourself, you take a journey of pain and suffering. But to be your best, sometimes you need to be your worst first. Good on you for being so open and allowing others to show it gets better though!

[@tm13tube]

I'm glad I got to listen to this. So much of it resonates, the dissociation, not consciously wanting to die but being willing to risk it for peace and rest, Glad you posted this.

[@amyheaton4595]

This made me want to give you the biggest hug! I've been there, and know how hard it is to overcome. You're amazing x

[@jonk4165]

ON Ya girl, you dont get many people talk so deeply about their past issues and to get up and fight for your beliefs is a very strong and emotional soul you have.I hope one day a paths cross so i can give A BIG hug .You are a strong spirit and will keep spreading your message to others to help them in their life too. :)

[@ice.goblin]

watching and listening to you feels like a mirror, i never find personalities on YT i can relate to you like you. You inspire me so much, I’m so proud of you. I hope the people around you at this point in your life treat you as you deserve. Love, a longtime fan!

[@chrisdolan9792]

Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. So many of us constantly have the same feeling and struggles to deal with. Life is super hard! But it also is to precious to give up on! Everyone hang in there! Live your life for yourself first and foremost! You are need on this planet!

[@random_purple]

I remember seeing that frightened person on X-Factor that blew everyone away with your amazing talent, this video really touched me. You are someone with such a beautiful heart and soul, it's difficult to see how hard things have been for you, dealing with the turmoil of such negative feelings, and it makes me so happy to see that you're now on the other side. It's so brave of you to do this and open your heart, this video will help a lot of people that can relate.

[@krisverhofstadt4822]

Thank you Janet for sharing this with us. I have a kid who is struggling himself, but cannot talk about it or reach out for help himself. As a parent it is hard to understand what is going on and your honest description of what was going on in your head means a lot to me, giving me a glimpse of understanding what is happening. You are a truly amazing human being and I have been a fan from the start. Keep making music, it means so much to a lot more people than you think.

[@grems_za2792]

There are times I wish I could just reach out to people and talk to them, let them know they are not alone in these thoughts. I have lived with insomnia, depression and suicidal thoughts for the last 32 years. These are deep embedded mental ailments that need to been investigated. Thank you for Sharing and getting it out there.

[@ramon101]

I have to agree with MrWilloWV, you are the best failure that could ever happen to this world. I remember seeing your audition for the X Factor, I thought to myself, now there is a beautiful soul. Your voice is so pure and honest, it really is a God send. I would have never in a million years ever thought that you were fighting such a battle inside yourself. I know this, this world is a much better place with you still in it. Listening to you talk about your fight or battle with your inner self, definitely has shown how beautiful your heart is and the fact that you are very intelligent. You keep loving yourself no matter what may come your way and we the music lovers, will be right there with you for strength. I'm an old man of sixty two, but its still a blessing to get to see you and hear your voice when talking or singing. I Thank God that your still here. God Bless You

[@john8606]

I remember seeing your audition on xfactor when it aired. I remember playing it on the pc for my mom and brother to hear it. We where so impressed and loved it. Sorry to hear you're having this troubles in life. Hope life will treat you better in the future. I still watch your audition once in a while. Its beautiful. Greetings from the Netherlands.

[@erniemcnamara9916]

Janet remember the wonderful voice you have brings so much joy to so many people .please never silence it .You are such an inspiration to so many young people who may be given courage to help them during their difficult times.Even at my age (84) do not deny us your beautiful gift and honesty. .

[@flyingfree1992]

As someone who has tried to kill themselves multiple times and also dissociates, thank you for making this video and telling your story! I'm also in a better place now thankfully, but it was a lot of hard work to get here.

[@randys.8662]

Bless you Hannah!

[@tegantaylor9574]

This is the most relatable video I’ve ever seen. The morning after is the hardest, but to hear to talk about it and mention things that I’ve felt is amazing. Thankyou. You deserve to be happy

[@tegantaylor9574]

You are so inspirational. You’re never alone.

[@djvelocity]

I’m terribly sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing these issues 😰😔. You’re such a brilliantly, talented young individual. I’ve been admirer of your work for years, nearly a decade. I really hope that you are able to get through this difficult time and find light on the other side. Sending you positive and warm thoughts ☺️☺️☺️

[@solo_alien]

One thing I have learned in life is you absolutely never know what someone is going through internally. Crazy learning all this you were going through and extremely happy to see you are better and strong enough to share. Hope you're truth helps those who need it.

[@KevTubeee]

Oh Janet 😔 I'm not all up to date with all the stuff you've been through,but you've always come across as such a kind and sweet soul. And I'm just happy to see you feeling better and getting in a better position in life. But it's still hard to hear these things from someone who's intrigued me for so long,just wishing I could give you a big old hug 💛

[@lifeofmichael]

You are so much stronger than you know. ❤️ please remember you are loved, you are wanted, you are amazing

[@garbuckle3000]

Thanks for sharing, Janet. If you are able to help even one person with your story, then it's all been worth living for. I cope with my depression with humour as well, and it's what I turn to when people try getting past my wall. I guess I'm lucky that I've never turned to alcohol or drugs, and my phase of thinking of suicide was just thoughts. Over the years, I've come to realize that in many areas, I know I'm not alone like I once thought, and it's good to hear people are opening up and talking about these issues more frequently, even if I can't do so myself. That said, there are still aspects of my life that I've never heard anyone else talk about, so feelings of loneliness in that regard are definitely still present. Sorry for rambling. I admit, the self harm was the biggest trigger for me, and was the hardest to get through in the book, but I'm so glad you were able to let go of those demons. Lobe you!

[@thedungeon1709]

You're a beautiful person and I'm glad that you're still with us . The world needs that voice and that smile

[@VanillaNukaCola]

Jesus, wasn't paying attention when I clicked and that caught me off guard, thought this would be about failed attempts at songs or something. As someone that has never been through that sort of thing I really can't wrap my ahead around it, I think the world needs survivors like you to do exactly what you've done, talk about it, try and normalise the topic so others will hopefully reach out for help. It's very brave of you to share this, so thanks for the amazing vid Janet, not so much for making me cry though :P

[@mikemaoudj4397]

“Nothing happens to anyone that he (or she) is not fitted by nature to bare” from the movie Gladiator! I’m so happy you are still here Janet, brightening our world with your light

[@GarryVaux]

Thank you for working on yourself. Thank you for being here and thank you for what you've achieved x

[@janetdevlin]

Thanks so much for caring Garry! 🥺💓

[@TheQuietViolin]

“I have never cursed a sunrise quite like the one I didn’t want to see” that quote will forever stick with me Janet I will be completely honest with you, I was NOT okay before watching this video. I have been going through a lot. I relapsed with self harm and have been going through a lot of family issues as well as loosing someone very close to me. I attempted two days ago but it didn’t work. I was very upset and determined to try again. But watching this video makes me have so much hope. Listening to your story and the things you said about your journey to self love fills me with so much happiness and hope that things will turn out okay. I can not thank you enough for uploading this. It has saved my life

[@paulroberts3666]

Its heartbreaking to see how low you have been in the past Janet. I can relate to this so much as I did the same as you when I was younger. Had all the same feelings you so eloquently described. I am in a much better place now and as you say....there is so much to live for. You are an inspiration, just remember you are and always will be loved and bring so many people joy with your beautiful nature and angelic voice. Sending Love 💘 💕 💗 Xx

[@cariadcrafts]

Just found you and as a Mother and Nana my heart cried for you for your pain. Then I smiled because there is so much positivity here and you are strong, brave, beautiful and a role model. Keep doing what you’re doing sweet girl. Love and hugs from Cathy in Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿💜💜😊

[@jesswallace9302]

If you disassociate it tends to mean you've been through some kind of trauma - whether it's a big one or lots of little stressful events and normally during childhood. As an adult, you then continue to cope with stress through dissociation. It sounds like you may have been through trauma/stress that you haven't given yourself the time to heal from yet whether you're aware of it or not.

[@katebreen618]

So brave and raw. Thank you Janet as I think you speak for so many who can't speak or won't speak for whatever reason. You are such an inspiration and your being your authentic self is your best self at any time.

[@maytheforcebewithyou8808]

Janet, this is the most honest and moving video I’ve seen, it takes enormous courage to share your very personal experiences of your worst times. You are an inspiration and a warrior to shine attention on this very frightening illness. Keep on doing what your doing and remember to love yourself first x

[@simonesworldofcolours4689]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s so important to normalise this because so many people are dealing with this kind of feelings (including me a few years ago). And people need to know reaching out and seek help is o.k. I’m glad you failed in your attempts and because the world is a brighter place with you in it 💕. I cried with you, because I feel you, life is beautiful but sometimes there is a dark cloud blurring to see it.

[@TristianD]

I related on too many levels, especially the planning out the suicide note as part of daily life. I am now going to school to become a therapist with focus on teenagers because that was a resource I was not afforded until it was almost too late. A phrase that haunted me for years was "You never know failure like failing to end your own life." Like you, I am now so incredibly glad I had failed, life is so beautiful now (within reason, I am from the USA). I am so sorry that you have experienced this, but I am so happy that you have survived because you are a positive light on this world.

[@michaelcrane4135]

Thank you for your willingness to speak about this...It is obvious you have gone through hell and manged to come through by the Grace of God. You seem to be a wonderful person working to work on yourself...PLEASE stay strong and keep working on yourself and never worry about what others are thinking or saying. None of us has got the handle on life, most of us are just getting through life and many on the verge of losing it. This life is a journey and often times we find ourselves off the road until we find ourselves back on. God Bless you Janet, be at peace and continue to love yourself...I love you for this....P.S., I love your accent. Thank you for reaching out, I actually worked at one of those HELP lines and I wish more people would reach out knowing that that is not just a job but people who do truly care.

[@purplesvet]

Dear Janet. I cried watching this video. I have loved your music for some time now but never imagined that someone as talented as you had feet of clay. Thank you for sharing yourself. Thank you for being human. Thank you for holding up a mirror to me. Be well, woman. You are loved. xo

[@Yzjoshuwave]

Your honesty and courage in sharing this is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so glad you’re finding love for your own life. I think there’s something about sharing these stories that also helps to heal the deep sources of the pain. You learn these deep lessons and there’s something of really basic value to letting your learnings flow out into the matrix of the world to help others. Much love to you - and also to me and to all of us who’ve had to struggle to find a home in ourselves.

[@lizzi7128]

Your voice is such a goddamn gift. You as a person are a gift. Thank you.

[@andy.h5988]

Oh Janet I had tears in my eyes right along with you. Some people have a way of touching your heart ...When there are those who just want to share their story in such an open and honest way it is really refreshing to the soul and it makes you reflect on your own life and think of your friends and loved ones. This represents the finer side of social media. I cannot hug you in person so I am sending the biggest telepathic one that I can. Not only are you a talented star but you're such a real human being with all the trials and obstacles in life so many of us try to deal with.... and thank goodness you hit them square in the face and bounced right back. I cannot imagine some of the dark times you have been through... but thank God you're here. I hope you never have to walk that knife edge again ... coming back from that must have seemed like climbing out of a black pit up an unending mountain strewn with the biggest boulders. Continue to be the annoying optimist!! But hey you could never be annoying .... I am so happy I can laugh along with you and your spirit these days...but I will never forget what it took you to get there. Much love

[@jmcg7705]

i salute your recovery , your honesty and your courage .......keep carrying the message .......from someone who is 35 years sober ......it keeps getting better and better !!!!!!!!!!!!

[@dragoprintsolutionsphillip2140]

Thank for openness Jannette and hope this touch's the lives of all the bullied and young girls that think they have no place in society. Accept that every one on earth is the same and no better than you, (REM Every Body Hurts) Learn to Love yourself first then life. Wish you all the love and happiness. Be strong.

[@frankhoffman3566]

This brings a tear to my eye, and I'm really not an emotional man. I've followed you from the very, very beginning. I've enjoyed your music. Your'Santa Baby' is one of my classic Christmas songs. I hate this plague of drug use. I liked Prince and Michael Jackson - dead. I loved Whitney Houston - gone. I'm glad you're talking about it and I know an artist's emotions have wider swings than most others. The only thing I can say is, some of us can't take another death-by-drugs. Please remember that many of us don't have a lot of joyous moments. For me, your songs are a respite from disappointment and sometimes tragedy. I don't know what else to say.

[@richardlee8943]

i feel like ending my life some times its worse than other times but for some reason i keep going to your music and videos and it gets me through so i want to thank you for talking me out of it many times not knowing you did. you are a very amazing person. you will always hold a very special place in my heart and im sure my familys as well even knowing they have no idea that i go through this in my head...

[@Alouise1981]

Amazing generosity to share this with the world. Voice of an angel. Gifted with multiple talents to sensitively and honestly express that which is so intangible and difficult for others to verbalise or convey. Thank you. 💛

[@jjsrunaway8261]

You are absolutely one of the bravest person I’ve ever encountered on here. For you to take the time and spill ur soul to the world to hopefully help another to clear rumors and possible just to help heal yourself because from personal experience when I finally was able to admit and share my issues I was finally able to heal myself. I wish I had the strength you have.

[@Revup1]

"If you already feel like a burden you are not going to call someone" the catch 22 of self loathing. I've been there. A powerful video, intelligent, insightful, funny too....needs to be shared. Janet, you may not see this comment, but even if we don't love ourselves know that we are always loved. From a fellow compatriot, that cross you wear tells of a love far greater than any love we could kindle for ourselves, and it speaks of pain that carries our pain away. I do remember your fantastic voice from X factor, but haven't followed you since.....today I'm listening to some wonderful music, thanks to this video and your talent, thank you. live.

[@MervynFransen]

Wow! You're telling it all so clearly and openly. You're such an angel for other people. I volunteer at an helpline and it's very common to get a person in these situations on the line. PS, love your Irish accent

[@paulpoling9327]

Much love to you for being able to share this. I love you for your honesty. It took a lot to open up. Many can't and need that push to move forward. God bless you for sharing. It will help many

[@janetdevlin]

Thanks so much Paul! 💓

[@cliffbutler4585]

Strong words and truthful words

[@new_england_times553]

I just came across your music and was amazed, but also blown away some of the things you've dealt with. You are an amazing person and is on this earth for a reason. Also, hearing you say that you felt like you were bringing people down makes me realize that we should be very careful of what we say to the people we love and love us back. If we say harsh words to someone quietly looking for help, we can be unknowingly pushing the person in the wrong direction. Again, your music is amazing, but this video was eye opening and thank you for opening up.

[@Williy_Nilly]

I was just re-watching your amazing debut performance and then checking in on what you've been doing since. Really shocked and saddened to hear of your struggles. I pray you find the peace and tranquility you deserve. 🙏

[@TheIcecreamPeople00]

I love hearing peoples stories, changes things within others and in the world. Thank you deeply for that. One really good quote i like is; "There isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story," so keep on telling your story.

[@lisadwithollieande6224]

I wonder if you truly know how important your words are to people? Your honesty is painful, as so many of us can relate, so thank you for sharing because I feel human when I listen to you, also when you sing. Your thoughts dont make me feel right, not wrong, not broken, not anything, just feel more human. So thank you for helping us by sharing your pain so that maybe we can look onward. You are so strong, and I feel stronger by listening to you.

[@clitton3407]

Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story. You have no idea how many people you may have helped by being honest and speaking your pain out loud. When we speak our deepest darkest experiences and pain out loud it starts loosing its hold over us. That's when shame begins to morph into forgiveness for ourselves and forgiveness of others if need be. Forgiveness sets us free. That's when real healing begins. It's a journey for most of us becoming comfortable in our own skin. So many people are hurting in silence afraid and ashamed to admit their struggles. You have just given a voice to so many that struggle alone. May God bless you and I pray for your continued healing & peace & happiness! You have so much to offer the world with your heart, your passion, your humor and your beautiful music. You have such a gift and I will be listening to your lovely voice for I hope many years to come.

[@dwaynecolson6180]

I just pray that you have someone who is close to you help and support you. You are a very honest and beautiful soul. Thank God that you are still here. Be strong and most of all be your self and love yourself first and foremost. I will pray for you. We don't need another soul lost.

[@banality1234]

I'm really glad you appreciate life now and have learned to be proud of the person you've evolved into. Because all of us here following and supporting you are amazed by your courage and strength, not to mention your humility and incredible talent. You touch so many lives by sharing your story and your music. God bless you and keep you safe.🙏

[@janetdevlin]

This mean a lot, thanks so much John 💓🙏🏻

[@vinylnerd1544]

I've never attempted it, but I have had ideations before. I have begged for medication for depression, eating disorder etc... and been turned down at every turn. It is so much harder to deal with on your own. Thank you for being alive, thank you for being open :)

[@adelinaarriaga]

I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you share your most vulnerable moments with us. You are so beautiful inside and out and I'll be praying for you and everyone dealing with these issues. Much love always ❤️

[@craigo1962]

This needs talking about, there are so many who have these problems, no one is to blame but you have to fight for your way forwrd. hating yourself will never go away, but helping other people to deal with these feelings is a massive way forward. My son attended one of your early gigs, with me, he was 13, and worshipped you, he actually shouted to you and you answered him and he had his picture taken with you, you meant so much to him. He is amazing but I think he shouted that he loved you from the crowd because he knew you needed love. If he loved you at first sight you are definitely worth loving.xx

[@aiysiseverfae6358]

Janet, this is so profound and deeply moving...thank you for having the courage to share your story. I hope you know that you have a beautiful spirit and the world would be dimmer without you! I'm glad you're still here

[@adamjriley8294]

You are not a problem, you are beautiful inside and out. I hope you are feeling better in yourself, i love your voice and the timidness when singing.

[@shelljennings956]

This will resonate with some many, i like me now building on the love myself part. But hearing you say I'm my own best friend im stuck with me made something click in my head. I'd move heaven & earth for my best friend so I can do it for me!! Thank you for your music it hits where it needs to. Keeping loving you 😘

[@R.Daneel]

I have never been so happy at someone's failure. I would ABSOLUTELY miss you and your music. Thank-you for fighting. You're worth it to me. It's an easier world with you in it.

[@trojanska4538]

" Nothing Lost Something Found ", saved me from my second attempt Janet . it was like you wrote it for me . You saved my life with your beautiful voice and wonderful accent . much love ,stay strong , stay safe , keep singing and writing poetry . We all love you xx

[@coopersshootingoutdoorjour1128]

Thanks for being so courageous and honest. We are all fighting our own demons and addictions, and most of us do not have the same courage you displayed. May your future be blessed with peace and happiness.