Let’s Talk “Self Care” Product Obsession

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

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[@evolunacy2]

I’m glad you’re calling this out. One of the best things one can do for “self care” is detach oneself from the treadmill of consumerism.

[@ogre706]

Pure wisdom right there.

[@lalailm]

This! Giving in to your every single desire, attaching your well-being almost exclusively to material things…these are the opposite of self care.

[@sheisaMachine]

Or clean your house.

[@Marirenee0313]

Yes exactly it's consumerism to the extreme, and it's actually nauseating.

[@luchirimoya]

This 🙌

[@emiliawoszczyk8196]

The problem with self care is that people don't understand that self care is not a face mask or bath balls. Self care is about doing the hard things we don't always want to do - such as exercising, saving money, learning new skills. This is taking care of yourself in the long run. Is buying things to upset your brain's dopamine balance really taking care of yourself?

[@Katjj]

🙌🏽 💯

[@mydeershikaxoxoga]

It's about all of that. No need to merge people who have problems with consumerism and shopaholism with those who enjoy a relaxing bath with a colorful bomb. There is a difference between something that just doesn't work (like collagen masks) and something that brings a pleasant experience for the day. Sometimes people need a small happiness boost.

[@automatic5]

what "self care" is is subjective to everyone. yall judge ppl way too much

[@SemekiIzuio]

What you mention is a different self care, _mental_ What this video is heavily leaning to is _body_ self care. The other one being _health_ self care, which is interal bodily functions are running healthy.

[@Sobermama927]

This is the BEST comment on here

[@innesfinlay8932]

So glad you’re talking about this. The only thing you left out is the gendered aspect of self-care. I’m a man and I’m never told I have to buy any of this as a form of self-care

[@yesterdayitrained]

Excellent, very true point!

[@Jose04537]

Women do 70% of all household consumption (parenting, housing, groceries, baby products, beauty products, clothing, etc., with very few exceptions, like sports, cars, gambling, gaming and crypto currencies, etc.), of course they are going to be the main target of even more consumerism.

[@ಥ_ಥ-ಫ5ಮ]

​@JoseAngel01 you're missing the point. Single women are spending more on self care products than married women. It's because women are expected and deliberately targeted when it comes to performing beauty labour. Its just that beauty labour is now rebranded as self care

[@Katherine_xs]

Except perfume/clothes/go to barber

[@Shirumoon]

Never heard of the term beauty labor but damn does it make sense! I'm happy to live in a culture which is less demanding for certain procedures and make up but it's a double edged sword because beauty, albeit natural beauty, is still expected.@@ಥ_ಥ-ಫ5ಮ

[@163WaysToLive]

It's just like the 'self-help' products, books and courses. It's a lot easier to buy a book on how to get organized than to actually do it, and feel really good when you buy the book and think to yourself that your life is going to get better starting tomorrow.

[@riak321]

Me too. I've got 4 staple products for my hair and 3 for my face that's it.

[@Jose04537]

Good point, people want to replace actually doing something to improve their lives with learning.

[@tracey0820]

Damn….. real

[@alexfortin4984]

I used to believe that I needed all the skincare just to realize that the less I applied on my skin, the better it looked. I have 3 skincare products and stopped using foundation, all my skin issues are gone. I know what works for my skin, my hair and I just rebuy these stuff instead of spending on things to try.

[@gothamcat]

Exactly! I just stick to my 4 step routine (cleanse,toner,eye cream,moisturizer) and only use extras if my skin is really going through it. There’s so much out there that isn’t even regulated and dermatologists don’t recommend it.

[@jmsl_910]

alex, please remember sun screen for your face & neck in all seasons!

[@alexfortin4984]

@@jmsl_910 oh yes I do, there’s FPS 50 in my moisturizer

[@lalailm]

The key is: 1) consistency 2) knowing your skin and what works for it (once you find out, STICK TO IT!) 3)leaving your skin alone as much as possible (no picking, avoiding anything that will irritate it too much. Thats all you need. No need for a 15-step routine and a new batch of different products every 2 months.

[@Jose04537]

The only true essentials are sunscreen, moisturizer and cleansers.

[@maddie8415]

Selling people (usually women) products they weren't even considering buying under the guise of "self-care" really has gotten out of control. Within the past year The Gap sent me an email with the title "new undies = self-care". No, if the person doesn't need new underwear and can't afford to needlessly buy it, it's the opposite of self-care. Avoiding being manipulated by ads is actually the epitome of self-care.

[@vanillapinkfluff3477]

Exactly. It’s just telling people that buying this or that will solve all your problems.

[@raniressler]

And I like my Walmart undies so much better than Victoria’s Secret undies. lol 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

[@abrarisnothere]

As someone with depression, it was really hard for me to just get up and take a shower. The only thing that helped me and motivated me are shower routine videos

[@freethegays]

that's good

[@alice_rabbit8345]

I can definitely relate. When I wasn’t working during lockdown I was very depressed and didn’t do much of anything. I started watching cleaning videos and it really helped me get up (and shower) and clean my house.

[@coffeeprincess25]

That’s where self-care products can be useful, I agree. Having a nice scrub to get oneself bathing? Go for it! Especially when it’s within your means, sparks joy, etc. The video showing that shower filleddddd to the absolute brim w products stressed me out so much!! How can a person choose which scrub when there are SO many???!

[@moonchild6352]

ahh same!! i still struggle a lot and having this routine with all the videos really helps me

[@melissam6037]

Same I have a nice body wash and a nice scrub but I don’t need to have 10 of everything, that would just stress me out tbh😊

[@mabub.sonyeo]

Eyelash washing is for those with lash extensions. If you don't have them, you can use any cleanser that doesn't bother your eyes. But lash extensions are glued onto natural lashes, so to keep retention, special cleansers might be used (oil free products that don't break down glue). It's also smart to wash them as sweat, makeup, and dead skin can build up around the lashes which not only makes them dirty and can cause irritation or infections, but also break down glue bonds.

[@ladydede88]

The best wash to use is baby bath gel mixed with water in a foam pump

[@sophiacampos9230]

yes, people need to wash their extensions because infections are so prominent 😭😭

[@ohnoitsthenoooo]

I mean, the existence of eyelash extensions in the first place is part of the problem

[@burnbabylonburn78]

@@ohnoitsthenoooothis. ^^^

[@MissGreenTeaLady]

I think my favorite "self care" practices are free or very low cost. Going for walks, writing, taking a nap, brewing some tea, watching youtube, reading...and this is coming from a recovering shopaholic. Those things leave me feeling much more satisfied than a new product would, and for a longer period of time, too.

[@christiesanchez4013]

But if you did free self-care activities (which tend to have more long-term benefits than buying the X700 Back Scratcher 2.0), corporations wouldn't be able to profit off your stress . . .

[@riak321]

And that's why my "self care" only consists of cleanser, moisturiser and sunscreen. My golden rule is never buy anything above $30.

[@sarinspace4351]

i would even call that self care its just basic human hygiene everyone has to do

[@Lils_Jewellery]

@@sarinspace4351I don’t wash my face and my skin has never been clearer

[@cata-r8o]

​@@sarinspace4351that is not basic hygiene what

[@vibechecked7522]

I have special Spiderman soap that I use on days where my depression is bad because it gives me joy. I didn't even buy it, it was a gift, which makes it so much more meaningful to me :)

[@SweetiePie369]

​@@vibechecked7522hehe oooo spiderman soap 😮❤

[@anthropomorphicpeanut6160]

The best self care for me is setting a few daily hours in which I'm "forbidden" to think about work, and it's completely free lol

[@JohnScigulinsky]

"self-care is just a purchase away" is a beautiful way to describe it. Thank you for making this video.

[@kaw8473]

I paid a bunch of money for a popular journal from Amazon and it gave me anxiety because it made me feel like I had homework I had to do. For those who struggle with this, use your phone to take pictures and add captions to them (like a digital scrapbook) and keep them in a journal folder.

[@lastseenontuesday6040]

I've found using the notes app on my phone to be just as effective as pouring my heart out to a journal. I'm trying to reduce my spending too. For example, I want to use up all my perfumes before I buy anymore. Its much more economical this way and it makes a lot of sense to do so. Even skincare, I use everything up before I buy anything else

[@lelalu101]

I have been using a plain notebook to write down what I accomplished for the day and what I wanted to get done for the day. I call it Todo and Tadah! Todo is stuff I should get done where as tadah! Is stuff that I got done that I want to celebrate. I only cross things out that will have to be done another day. I highlight when I accomplish a task. It is an all in one list and it has helped me a bunch

[@LadyLyn1234]

​@@lastseenontuesday6040me too!

[@sweetprison]

I really appreciate these videos of yours, as a youngish woman with a bad shopping addiction and a tendency to buy into the illusion that buying, consuming, or owning beautiful things and surrounding myself with products and designer items will make me happy or bring me closer to becoming the "best version of myself" aka my fantasy self. I really don't want to keep living this way

[@miranda3984]

C'est déjà super que tu t'en rendes compte ! Bon courage 🩷🩷

[@LydiaReneeDarling]

The above commenter is right- recognizing your habits and wanting to change is the first step! You’ve got this ❤

[@sweetprison]

@@LydiaReneeDarling thank you for the encouragement! 😊

[@sweetprison]

@@miranda3984 I can't translate the comment on here but I assume you said something nice so merci! ❤️

[@GrowingThroughItAll]

You can get off the hamster wheel! I was the same way in my 20’s and it stemmed from growing up in poverty. Years later though and I am now happily OFF this madness train of overconsumption. I still have my areas of spending that get me on occasion, but overall I have so much more peace than I did back then. It started with learning not to care how others perceive me.

[@moretacospls3253]

I decluttered my whole home because my cluttered apartment made me feel depressed and anxious. I donated a lot of stuff and gifted a bunch of self care products to my sister. Decluttering made me think about my spending habits. For a while now, I have one product that works for me. I no longer try to find that one product that will help me solve all of my problems. I also don‘t buy in bulk anymore, if something is empty, I‘m going to replace it. living a more intentional and minimalistic life really changed me for the better. Having a clutter free home gave me a piece of mind.

[@FrugalFunMum]

Someone on Tik Tok the other day said too can we stop saying 'Self Care' for mums who need some time to shower - that's a human right it shouldn't be labelled as something we need to 'earn'. I thought it's so true!

[@broughttoyoubynmblake]

I think I’ve just got to that age in life where I’d rather have the money in the account to enjoy life experiences and not have a 100 products that go off/unused.

[@Crohns_journey]

I'm of the same mind!

[@mckenziejeanne4508]

This! I’ve come to realize I’d rather spend money less frequently and spend it on experiences that I know I’ll use and enjoy.

[@candy2325]

Same here. I booked a day trip to NYC with my mom to see a Christmas show and it was so fun ❤ I’m saving money for more experiences

[@Princessm1320]

Same!!!

[@Nicole-yw4vq]

I think it's okay to spend money on things that are really used. But in those videos there are so many products that will just expire or get old even if you don't take expiration days too serious. Besides, you have to clean those shelves with endless products etc.

[@StonyAD]

I'm glad that I came across this video. Consumerism wrapped in self care is definitely a problem. For me, when I find myself wanting to buy a $15 gratitude journal on Amazon, or I'm super excited about my latest Bath and Body Works haul that cost me $90, it's two things going on. 1. I feel awful and I am just looking for a quick hit of dopamine to feel better. 2. Rather than undergo the tiresome emotional labor of self care and doing the work to better myself, I can have a shortcut, "I am taking good care of myself, I bought a gratefulness journal" "I am working on my self care I downloaded the calm app" the act of purchasing these self care things feels like I am actually doing the self care work. I may never use the gratitude journal or open the calm app, but I bought them so therefore I am working on it. In the end, the gratitude journal gets thrown out and the calm app gets deleted. And the cycle starts again the next time I feel awful. Thank you for posting this video, it gave me a lot to think about.

[@r.brooks5287]

Wow, I don't do any of this self care stuff except keep clean and lip balm but your description made me realise I do this with cooking. I buy healthy and interesting ingredients as if that's a real step towards cooking interesting dishes and then I cook same old things. I have so many spices I've never even opened.

[@slowhappytravels]

I've only recently realized how terrible hyper consumerism has become! I was never the type to buy a bunch of stuff (clothes, makeup, "self-care" products, ect.) growing up just because me nor my parents had that kind of money. But I always wanted to be like my friends who did buy the stuff or be like the people I saw on social media with all the "fun stuff". I'm so happy my eyes have opened to how crazy having so much unnecessary items really is. Especially now that I have a good career and can buy random stuff if I wanted to BUT I will not. I really enjoy your videos Cara. Very educational and well thought out!

[@RikThePixel]

Maybe the real self-care is the friends we made along the way

[@inmysolitudemk]

💀

[@d3bora638]

hahhahahaha genius

[@raya7390]

tf

[@skypaver989]

when it comes to skincare, getting sleep, drinking water, exercising, and eating fruits and vegetables will help infinitely more than 200 expensive creams and elixirs. As a fresh out of college graduate allergic to lavender oil and other popular flower fragrances, I've decided to focus my money and time on taking care of myself with meal prep, extra rest where I can find it, long nature walks, and taking my thermos water bottles to work with me.

[@Nisan-v6h]

I think it is important to redefine self care. Most of us think about masks, facials, baths which is all good and stuff but its important to first look from within and face your problems and work on them day to day

[@phoeberulesall1294]

Beyond the hyper consumption of self care products, many of the self-care products look like anxious (and often futile) efforts to stave off signs of aging and keep looking appealing. Who is that REALLY for? Perfectionism repackaged.

[@Fluttershy890]

My self-care as far as my face: Cleanser, eye cream, moisturizer and sunscreen.

[@krystalbermea2016]

Your approach is probably the best I’ve ever heard/seen. A lot of people covering the subject of overconsumption are always yelling and shaming. Not something someone really needs. but the way you approach and explain can definitely make people sit and think without feeling shamed or looked down on. LOVE IT! 😃👍🏼

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thank you for saying that! I really appreciate it :)

[@rowceo]

Yes my “self care” is having one of each needed thing that I really love and using it until I need to replace it. Having too many products stressed me out more and is a waste of money.

[@sanelemvelase7658]

The thing that always mind boggles me is that the people who are knee deep in hurting this planet are telling us who uses less waste we are doing it wrong. The moral of the story never let someone tells you how to clean your own body.

[@harshitaanand2058]

OMG this video is needed. I have largely controlled my impulses to get influenced by these "self care videos" but sometimes I do find myself wanting the shelves filled with good body washes and scrubs and all that stuff. And then I realise I am a middle class person and this "hoarding culture" is literally targeted at people like me.

[@Ouasys]

Your video could not have come at a better time. Well, maybe it could lol. I was in this self-care phase/obsession, buying everything I saw in self care shorts and watching endless videos, blowing around $150 in a few days. Ironically this was at the point where I felt I had zero control of my life-but I can control when and how I apply body wash, and what scent lol. Instead of truly taking care of myself, I was just pampering my physical body, and my relationship with God was so strained. The point is, this video really made me put my priorities back into order. Every single bullet was something I needed to hear. I wish I could shake your hand or hug you. 😭🤗🥰

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

I’m so glad this video resonated with you & sending you love as you navigate feeling out of control in your life ❤️

[@ayannadivineempath]

Ok but forcing myself to go get a massage one to two times a month has been in life changing. It acts as meditation time, reset time AND KEEPS my old scholiosis back from being in agony all the time. It's really really worth it and it all started because I said I was investing in self-care. It's not part of my healthcare. For brain and body.

[@TheWolfeDen]

I just visited your channel and saw that you do/did tarot readings. You seem like a cool person, so if you started making those videos again I would definitely watch. I read tarot myself but am always interested to see other readings. (And I second your feelings on regular massage)

[@ayannadivineempath]

@@TheWolfeDen I had a threshold of accuracy I set for myself and when I dipped below it I simply did not read anymore. Everyone should hold themselves to a standard. Mine was 93% and I did drop below it so I no longer read.

[@TheWolfeDen]

@@ayannadivineempath how do you determine your accuracy by percentage?

[@GrowingThroughItAll]

She’s not talking about this, you are describing ACTUAL self care 🩷

[@A-is-for-accident]

I only allow myself to buy new beauty and care products when I finished the old ones. I did that because I noticed how Bodylotions, Bath Bombs and different shower products kept piling up 😂

[@Princessm1320]

Same and for me it has to be on my signature scent if I want a scented one. If not then I’ll just get a plain lotion from the dollar store.

[@z_crunchie_z3402]

I recently got into this whole "long nightime routine" trend, and personally for me it's become more of a passion/hobby than a crutch. I enjoy spending a lot of time researching what actually works so i can understand how every product works and benefits me. Then when i do my routine i can really feel like it's made me healthier or prettier (plus extensive understanding of it all means i can find the "bare minimum" drug store version of a lot of products and save money that way). For me personally it's become an act of self care because i am putting the work in to find the (scentifically and financially) best product, so i can do the work of taking a super long multi step shower just so i can feel like a pretty princess afterwards. And for me feeling not only confident in how i look, but proud that it was my own hard work that did that feels amazing. So thats my more positive view on this trend, lmk if any of you agree ✨💕

[@ofcatsandkim]

you put into words what i have been feeling for a long time. i became a licensed esthetician and stopped all my obsessions over products only because i know what works best for me now

[@nessa4816]

A lot of ppl hv a negative view on what’s considered self care now but, it’s truly helped me. Using these products ( exfoliants, cleansers, sunscreen) to help my outer appearance feel more clean has given me motivation to be more active, focusing on my physical health while also calming my mental health. With me being pleased physically it’s also helped me mentally due to insecurities. There’s no need to view this in a negative light many people do it because it’s trendy others do it because it relieves anxiety, at least it does for me.

[@carolbaskin1857]

Obviously, if these products are actually helpful and useful, no one is telling you that you shouldn’t buy them. The problem is is people buying excessive amounts of things that they don’t even end up using, it’s about over consumption

[@NoireNyx4]

Good for you if it helps you. That's not the case with everyone. Self care isn't always using products on face and body for ALOT of people here.

[@Demonocityy]

this video isn’t talking about people doing self care being bad.. i understand we are all human, but i really don’t get how you watched the whole video and took it personally, if you listened and heard the point of the video you’d know it’s about overconsumption related to the topic of self care that capitalists take advantage of

[@theprousteffect9717]

One problem is that we don't all have lives we enjoy, nor the time, flexibility, and/or money to spend on things that would actually improve our quality of life, such as travel and other experiences. Over consuming products is the more accessible, next best thing, second to having an enjoyable life full of enrichment and a supportive social network 😂

[@Tigersox24]

as someone who also can’t afford frequent luxuries like travel/enriching experiences, i would argue there are several free ways to improve your well-being/practice self care that are more gratifying in the long term than just consuming products. spending time in nature, hobbies, meditation, journaling/writing, yoga (at home, there are free videos on youtube), even like she said taking a bath without a bunch of unnecessary products can give you the same if not longer lasting satisfaction as buying things. a 30 minute trip to target for a new body scrub could be replaced with a 30 minute walk. i do agree that overconsumption often feels more accessible because it is a quick dopamine hit, therefore feels “easier” to do than something like meditating for 15 minutes which requires more intentionality & focus. i’m still of the belief though that true self care is not just about indulging in our “quick fix” type of urges, rather choosing what is actually healthiest and most beneficial for us at the time (which CAN include purchasing something, when appropriate!)

[@JoseHernandez-gy7qu]

True if that’s how you choose to look at it…or you can choose to save up your money

[@ariaetmaison]

Your point about searching and working for peace outside of ourselves instead of beginning inward is soooo important. I’ve never had an inclination to by “face rollers” or “bath bombs” but I’ve been getting into skincare more recently. This video makes me think of ways I am influenced to “think” about how certain products can be beneficial to me, rather than something I actually need or is prescribed to me. Learning not to overcomplicate things and stick to products that have worked great for me.

[@victorias6375]

This is so true. We really should learn to love and enjoy what we have. All this spending on plastic bottles that we don’t need is harmful to not only our mind, but the planet.

[@jazzibun]

This was something touched upon in a book I read recently. Consumerism has latched onto the phrase “self-care” and is turning it into something so far from what it actually means!

[@sweetprison]

Could you share what book that was?

[@jazzibun]

@@sweetprison Flawless by Elise Hu!

[@lovenlune5503]

I think the problem is increased consumerism with complete (flagrant) disregard of societal and climatic effects. Increased purchasing leading to increased waste leading to passing same behaviors to those around and children. Just because you can, you don’t have to. Self care has evolved to marketing and really should have remained to how you take care of your future self. Do I buy skincare? Yes yet I don’t have doubles and only buy when the product finishes. I am taking care of myself today to help preserve my “beauty” and/or “look” for my future self…like eating healthier and challenging my brain to remain sharp. Great video!

[@lilybugslibrary]

A walk in nature is a great form of self-care and it doesn't cost anything

[@withlovedianne6103]

I don’t know, I personally love it & was doing these things at a young age. I Don’t have an excessive amount of things in my opinion (self care products) but the things I have, I use and love. I’ve never titled it as self care but rather my beauty routine.

[@millystars]

i love this, i feel like people don’t care about actual ‘self care’, they just want to go through with the whole skincare routine because in our society it’s so pressed on us that if you just get the last skincare product in your 7 step skincare routine, you’ll finally achieve ‘self care’. self care isn’t a destination, it’s a journey about finding things about yourself and what YOU enjoy. self care should be “i love to knit, and i’m feeling a bit stressed out, so my ‘self care saturday’ will involve knitting,” instead of putting a number of products on you to achieve something that is unachievable, because it’s pushed on us so much to believe that self care can be achieved through hyper consumption, when the complete opposite is true as you can only really love yourself by recognising that you are a beautiful and unique person, and your self care will be different to everyone’s else

[@chargingoutlet]

honestly, lately for me, i love everything shower days. i love taking care of my body by exercising, cleaning, then cleaning myself and ending the night with a candle and a dessert. when i take showers, its the one time of the week or day where i can shut out the entire world and just listen to my favorite music and take care of myself. its like my form of therapy i swear, like im taking care of myself both physically AND mentally. but i do, however, agree that some of this self care stuff has been increasingly based on how good you look, and not how you feel by taking care of yourself. we all need to go back and understand that by calling it self-care, it would imply that you’re not doing it just to look attractive or have glowy, smooth skin, you’re doing it to make yourself feel good, and create that time and space to just let go.

[@val71999]

the only thing i use on my face is a dove bar, and a little coconut oil if it feels dry. my skin has never been so clear in my entire life. a word on the scalp massager/shampoo brush: for most people its basically useless, but my wife has psoriasis, and it is the only thing that has brought her relief. definitely recommend it for that.

[@yesterdayitrained]

This is the first time you’ve popped up in my feed. I’m very impressed with your insight, clear articulation, and how you logically break down and reframe issues like this, offering a different (on point, IMHO) perspective. Kudos!

[@mar35962]

I needed to hear this. I've been getting a lot of skincare tiktoks in my yt cuz I wanted to search about my acne and now I'm feeling a newfound insecurity I didn't have before which makes me super conscious about each feature in my face

[@thelittledancingwolf863]

omg... man this video showed up on my feed at the perfect time. I saw a podcaster I follow post her skincare routine with 7 different products, the least expensive of the products was in the 40$ range, and the most expensive one was a tiny tube for 168$! I seriously woke up this morning and was going to buy the products because I'm "25 and should be worried about aging" or whatever... but I saw your video first and it stopped me from buying anything unnecessary. I find I get the most compliments on my skin when I eat well, when I'm happy, and when I've been exercising outside and just enjoying life. So THANK YOU for this video!!! You just saved me a ton of money and from going into a loop of buying stuff to fill a deeper need!!

[@lelalu101]

Get yourself a super basic routine instead! Sunscreen, a cleanser and a Moisturizer is the barebones approach to skincare. SPF is the only way to actually prevent UV damage, collagen breakdown, and minimize sun cancer risk. I like having a more complex skincare routine, but I'm 29 in two weeks and handling acne still. No need to have tons of steps that make taking care of your skin a chore.

[@luchirimoya]

I am chronically ill and for a while it has felt like both my physical and mental health was going downhill, control was slipping out of my hands... so I unconsciously turned to consumerism and self care products. I couldn't control what was going on in my body, but at least I could choose which expensive moisturizer I put on my face... right? You've described my experience so well, and it took me some months to actually realize this is what I was doing to soothe myself, I guess. I am now trying to take care of myself in more productive, less consumerist ways hehe

[@EmL-kg5gn]

I never thought about the control aspect before!!! Thank you for pointing that out, it’s been a problem for me too since developing more chronic illnesses. The marketing as self care doesn’t help either! So often I can’t take care of myself, even basic things like eating and showering are often impossible. This stuff makes me feel like I can still take care of myself even if I can’t do what I need most. But it’s kind of delusional lol. And chronic illness is already expensive without overconsuming Also the way they’ve equated self-care and beauty for women is so insidious… Like why did I think I needed a new lip gloss when what I really need is my Drs to run more tests and a shower chair? The lip gloss does cheer me up. But if I’d looked at home I could’ve found something I already had that would also cheer me up!

[@mind-of-neo]

Engaging in self care and trying out new products is one of my favorite things to do in life. Personally as someone with major depression, learning to find joy in cleaning, grooming, and just generally taking care of myself has been very valuable and important. Self care to me doesn't mean buying a bunch of tools and products, it means doing whatever things you can do to get your body in better condition.

[@wyatt.the.horsey]

for me, doing my skincare in the morning makes me feel like i atleast did something to better my self. and doing it at night makes me feel like i accomplished the day and this is my treat. don’t judge how people take care of themselves, if they feel good, they feel good.

[@gm.8805]

did you just miss the entire point of the video

[@whitewhiskeys]

the title has 'OBSESSION' in it. If you're not obsessed, you're just being butthurt for nothing (aka you missed the point of this video).

[@wyatt.the.horsey]

@@whitewhiskeys dawg. i’m sharing my side. i’m talking abt the people who judge everyone for doing skincare. not the person in the vjd

[@ellundrjilmyk1195]

I can't help but remember about my grandma's "quote book" which has a quote for every day of the year, I loved using it as a conversation starter during meals and I truly believe that it being a physical object helped : it acted as a reminder and kept phones away from the table.

[@GirlOnTheBalcony]

As someone who works at a store that sells a bunch of “self care” items that can be seen as frivolous , I really appreciated the break down and your explanations. While I enjoy my job, it can feel weird trying to justify an item as “self care” when I know it’s not 100% necessary.

[@CyclingM1867DubbysMama]

You've got it spot on. Self care can be doing stuff for our skin and our outer selves, but, really, self care is doing things that relaxes us, makes us feel better, takes care of all aspects of our health - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. Whether that's going for a walk or spending time in nature or having fun in person with family and/or friends, having snuggle time with our pets, doing our hobbies, self care is making sure that we're looking after our well being where it really counts. Inside. Once in a while I will pamper myself with a manicure or pedicure or something to do with a spa-like experience at home and doing stuff myself, but, to me, that's not real or proper self care. But that's just me. :) Thanks for addressing this and pointing out what self care truly is.

[@stellarconcealment]

Even before this trend, I always found most beauty routines to be far too far overblown and unnecessarily lengthy. My daily self-care routine is take vitamins, brush teeth, wash face with water and ordinary soap, brush hair. That's it.

[@nadineh4767]

I’ve definently bought in to this for so long that I didn’t realize it’s just consumerism with a pretty title 😭

[@turtle7898]

If you have to buy products to “properly practice” something, like self-care, then something isn’t right

[@lin_win7777]

Yeah, the obsession is real. I always questioned some videos and amount of products people have. I think that since many connect self care to taking care of skin or hair so much $$$ is spend on products, which not proven to work 100% all the time. The worst is that, with such “influencers” younger generation gets the idea that spending a lot is better, having a lot is better, instead of going to the root of problems we carry inside. I think hyper consumption is related to quick dopamine reaction to cover all of this up. But unfortunately it won’t work as a long term strategy, unless the root of the problem is taken out. As always, great thoughts. So glad you share them with others!

[@MonsterTaming420]

I remember trying in high-school to fit in and used some morning face wash to help reduce acne, turns out anything but water irritated my skin so it left me with more issues. Now as an adult with thicker skin, I use an exfoliating scrub about once a month or less just when I want to relax, feel nice, and have my boyfriend tell me I look shiny and glow lol. Keeping it simple and as a treat seems to work the best.

[@darleneatkinson3906]

Cara, after one turn 50 years of age lot of this self-care products means nothing and what matter most is great healthy body energy and something to entertain oneself that why I watch lots and lots of videos we only truly need water air to breath earth to walk on and veggies to eat oh maybe a great body lotion and skip everything else. Thanks for your videos.

[@trala8911]

I’m genuinely sorry, but I didn’t know a hand massager was a thing before this video, and now I want one.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

hahaha oh no unintentional influencing

[@suzsiz]

I have a theory that is a form of taking control of ourselves when everything else feels out of control. Its like the same when trauma survivors watch true crime. Its a way to feel in control of the circumstances. Its self-soothing.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

totally agree! great insight!

[@suzsiz]

@@thefinancialfreedomgirl I saw you covered that sense of control later in the video 😂 I wrote the comment before I came to that part 👍🏻👍🏻

[@JakobesLifesAGame]

You definetly had some bars and have a good perspective. It's just different people want different things and get inspired by the products. Is that "true self care" maybe not but it's something that keeps a person going and I think that is the goal of self care marketing, giving people a sense of happiness with every use. I came across this video trying to do some research on the self care industry for my business. Thanks for the video lots and lots

[@sierrarmcclain]

I’m glad self-care is getting attention, but it’s a superficial form of self-care. What we’re really doing when we’re doing elaborate skin rituals is not thinking. As in meditating. I also hear busy stressed moms say they don’t have time, energy, or money for self-care. I would argue that meditating after their kids go to bed is one of the best forms of self-care there is. And momma, if you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you’re going to burn out and not be able to help anybody!

[@ashleyquinsay9523]

I see self care as taking care of myself, working on my faith, working out, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, having a clean home, and overall finding balance. If you find balance your skin, nails, and hair will naturally look better in ways products could never achieve.

[@liveesunflower]

I’m a person who likes to have at least 2 of my most used items (deodorant, lotion, body wash) it helps me not feel the need to go to the store and replenish often and potentially buy things I don’t need. But having 10+? That’s just wasteful and crazy

[@VivaciousLyla]

The point about how it can actually lead to disconnection due to a lack of focus internally is beautiful, I never thought about it that way!

[@christina3maria]

am trying to remember now which of your videos it was that talked about the neuropsychology behind buying stuff (dopamine boost, etc), i'll have to go rewatch to find it - but I think that especially comes into play when it comes to simply buying self-care products because it gives us this soothing sensation that we associate with taking proper care of ourselves. I also have a theory that spending money on take-out/other comfort foods and hygiene/pampering products is such a spending habit pitfall for a lot of otherwise financially-responsible people because we justify that self-soothing sensation of it by thinking “well hey, at least it’s not drugs/alcohol... I mean, I have to eat and I have to keep myself clean, right?” Like it’s easier to justify it to ourselves in that way... idk that’s my theory anyway

[@sweetprison]

​@@martinazulina100% yes. I am a shopping addict and while people in my life try to convince me to stop shopping altogether and save money etc etc, there is little to none support out there for people who need to break their excessive shopping/spending habits. Well at least there isn't in my country, maybe there are in other countries like the US.

[@Carlo_Boy2024]

Thank you for producing these videos that address so many things that I think about on a daily basis. I didn't know that others thought the same way also

[@phang.0919]

It's called SELF CARE when you actually really need that product to make your life more convenient/make yourself feel better ❤ I like to watch those SELF CARE video on tiktok until I got brainwashed and bought some stuffs that I actually don't need (wasted now hmm）. Hope everyone can think properly before you buy ❤

[@raegangarlitz5313]

I think you're right. Once I told a guy I was talking to that I was doing a face mask and he said ah, some self care? and I said no, just doing a face mask. Self care to me is being alone with myself, being kind to my self, taking time to really rest, not just go go go.

[@natavanabasova]

i’ve never subscribed so quickly. very excited to watch the rest of your videos!!!

[@222-p2q]

i also bought a bunch of shower product just to feel special /validated but in the end it was exhausting and waste of money. Recently learnt feeling good and happy comes from the inside.

[@petshopgirl18]

this is so true. i try to only keep one of everything i have too to avoid over spending, so like one body lotion, one body scrub, etc

[@oliviaandkirsten7023]

i'm obsessed with your videos. It's so true. and your voice is so calming

[@latenightcake5881]

ok BUT a lot of these things i LOVE and use often . that asian scrub cloth is a game changer , i use the stress ball when i leave the house . the spa products make me feel special

[@ranmount]

I am trying to do my little rituals every day - first thing after waking up is making tea, eat something small (fruit, veg) and then sit and write for a while - just one page, few mins, anything that comes to the mind. it is suprisingly calming and it sets my day on the right vibe. Similarly before sleeping - write everything that should be done, unfinished business that would otherwise bugs me terribly. it help me falling asleep easier. as I have pet, taking him for longer walk to the forest is so calming and, well, self-care-ish. 😂 if I can do these three during the day, I am gold. on the other hand, self-care in skincare, haircare etc meaning is also important to me. moisturizers, UV protection, good hair products - the little skin/haircare rituals, using henna for my hair (just straight henna, no colouring), the process of using them, it really calms my mind in whole other way. but it is probably something else than the obsession with new products that you were talking about in the vid. 🧐🌼

[@Nanudutta]

As a college student who only fluctuates between absolute-broke-ness and self care extravagance - ur videos are really helping me manage money better

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

i'm so glad to hear the videos are helpful to you!

[@Maverickgouda]

At some point what brands and people were calling “self care” were just (the already existing aisle of) “personal care”. Sometimes it’s self care, or relaxation, or other times they are just “toiletries”. I also think hygiene gets mislabeled

[@gonnabesoalright]

i want you to know that every single sentence in this video is amazing. you did a really good job writing this, for sure.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thank you so much :)

[@DafaultUser]

Girl, scalp massage is the best thing ever happened to me. My hair never been so healthy and beautiful, I also have a lot of new hair some I started doing it for 1 minute every evening

[@noelleelizabeth9991]

I thought about getting a scalp massager for the shower because honestly that sounds amazing, then I realized my cat's zoom groom, which she hates so I don't use on her anyway, looks exactly the same. There's something really satisfying about using the stuff you already own.

[@bethereorb2782]

3:38 hiii just wanted to share that the washing of the lashes is for extensions. When wearing extensions its recommended to just brush them and keep them dry, but many people also debate that they should be cleaned nevertheless. The lashes use a special soap so it doesnt irritate your eyes! Now if someone does this even without extensions, then I'd agree that that's sorta unnecessary but each to their own~

[@mm-ln9sw]

i used to feel a little envious when seeing these ppl’s self care collections, but realistically, there’s no way i could get through that many products before they expire 😂 it’s just not necessary, i’ll stick to my small skincare routine. i wonder if they even ever touch half of the products

[@thaliamorgenstern1401]

If I have a need for a specific thing I will look for something but I don’t just buy to buy. I always look into what I’m buying and decide if I actually need it or if it will actually do what I need

[@Opioidmoon]

Thank you for calling this out. I used to feel like such a loser for not being able to afford all the products.

[@tressiechamlongsong2119]

I needed to hear this cuz ive been tempted by all the k-beauty "glass skin" products being advertised to me rn 😩

[@trinn_is_crng]

да!!! ДА!!! прекрасно, что девушки не стали молчать об этом! я сама обожаю уход за кожей и волосами, активно пользуюсь разными продуктами, потому что мне это приносит удовольствие, также тщательный уход за кожей лица мне просто необходим, поскольку я связываю свою профессиональную деятельность с макияжем. однако пару лет назад я искренне удивлялась тому, что многие девушки бреют свои руки, вчера я была в ужасе от того, что девушки начали брить своё лицо...видео с отдельным мытьём ресниц тоже заставило меня испытать шок. я вижу очень много роликов, в которых девушки делают многоступенчатый уход за собой...и с каждым разом этих ступеней всё больше и больше. сколько на это уходит времени и сил...а когда жить?? а сколько денег тратится... очень здорово, конечно, что существует такой огромный выбор средств для ухода за собой, потому что каждый сможет найти что-то, что ему действительно было нужно и приносит радость. но простому человеку невозможно иметь всё из этого большого списка, что очень активно навязывается социальными сетями, в которых тебя будто принижают и заставляют чувствовать себя уродливой, неуверенной и бедной. типа..."у тебя нет отдельного крема для левой пятки и скраба для ушей? фу...ой, то есть, срочно купи, тебе это необходимо! этим пользуются все настоящие ухоженные и успешные девушки, которые любят себя!". тебя будто втягивают в бесконечную гонку, в которой все требуют от тебя победы в ней, но в этой гонке невозможно победить... я девушка. и я устала от этого. почему я не могу чувствовать себя красивой и уверенной со своим базовым уходом, в котором только самое необходимое? на который тоже уходит достаточно сил, времени и денег? и всё равно я никогда не буду достаточно хороша для всё новых и новых стандартов общества...быть может, нам всем следует просто перестать обращать на них внимание, быть собой и начать делать исключительно то, что приносит нам удовольствие? вот это действительно будет любовь к себе! спасибо, что говорите о таких важных вещах🌸💖

[@allieyasmine]

i really agree with this video , i am pleased with the points you talked about when mentioning the silent film aspect of self care. i’m also just gonna point out the girl who was washing her eyelashes has eyelash extensions which do need to be cleaned!

[@roseBlossom23]

Okay, I love self care but it got to the point where the products shown are useless and make no absolute difference to the skin if not worse. My self care started with DIY and now I’m into breaking down ingredients and what they do or if they’re better alternatives. It got the point where people started asking me to help shop for their own self care routine and I love every second. So much better than unnecessary surgery.

[@zena8846]

I got into skin care when im still financially dependent on my parents...so i try to keep it basic nd not over spend...but related contents always comes on my feed..so i always get tempted to buy more..thankfully this video helped set my brain right😊😊

[@audreyhuggins8822]

Everything you mentions is on point. However, I think the self care movement also morphs over to the excessive travel people do to fill themselves with the constant utopia of a new place. Product consumption is not the only way that is hurting the planet and environment. Happiness, peace and self care/love is found within each day not constantly crossing oceans and mountains.

[@ramelchilds7416]

I will say as a male I do slightly feed into self-care in the sense I moisturize my face & body more than I used to several years ago, but it's never outside of normal post-shower moisturization (or using lotion after using hand sanitizer a ton of times as I work in a hospital) and not some crazy purchasing spree for some things that are supposed to make me a better person.

[@Easy_n_Fun]

I feel so healed with your videos.

[@XxxX-cv7mh]

People on TikTok always amaze me with how many products they buy. Like, who actually needs 20 different kinds of body washes and scrubs in their shower. It's no longer self-care, it's just mindless consumption at that point.

[@Volundur9567]

This is getting crazy in the witchy world too. Self-care is something you do for yourself, it's not just buying something or following a trend.

[@ohwow9559]

Love the video! Just wanted to correct you, washing your lashes is for eyelash extensions and is definitely recommend for extensions by professionals, it’s not just another gimmick. Anyway, thanks for making this video :)

[@gata1887]

After being a compulsive spender for years and always being broke I developed certain rules for myself 1. Only purchase another ítem of the same category if the one I had is empty and if it made me absolutely happy. 2. If I like something that is non essential (make up, clothing, etc) I give myself a week to think about the purchase and do my research about the item. If after said time I am still thinking about the ítem, it actually is what I thought it was/serves the purposes I intended it to have, it is still available and it does not get in the way of essential purchases (food, medicine and the sorts) then I give myself permission to buy it without remorse. This has helped me to reduce impulse/as seen on social media purchases and I am on my way to pay out all my credit cards (I actually finished paying one out this month) and having a lighter more easy life y n which I don’t have to stress that much with my bills at the end of the month and I have less stuff/clutter around me.

[@nope19568]

not a compulsive shopper but ive always done the same and i really do think its something that should be more mainstream!! impulse purchases stack up fast

[@dmn4747]

Some of these things can be part of a self care routine but it's more the time spent on yourself that factors in I think. I love taking care of my body because it's a meditative form of self love and yes I love cold eye patches in the morning,but ultimately it's things like brushing and flossing, dry brushing before a shower, and massaging my face (i like regular kitchen evoo). I do like to splurge on some muscle relaxing bath salts to make my hot baths all that much better but you don't need tons.

[@giocampos3465]

hi, Cara. I'm a Brazilian watching all your videos and I love how you have been changing my life, seriously. I'm an English teacher here in Brazil and I also work with translation. Let me know if you're interested in having English and Portuguese subtitles in your videos. You're awesome and working with you is a dream!

[@ameliebohnlein5199]

I feel like this type of product-based self care often emerges in a culture that values work and hustle a bit too much, leaving people stripped for time or energy to do actual selfcare like exercise, preparing healthy meals, taking care of your mental health ect. It's much faster and less effort to just buy something.