Let's talk social media's 'aesthetic' obsession.

From Cottagecore to dark academia, what does social media's obsession with creating aesthetics say about us? And why is it such a problem?
Let's talk social media's obsession with aesthetic subcultures - How they’re encouraging hyperconsumerist behavior while muddying the way we shape our identities and why it’s important for our financial health to decenter material subcultures in the first place. Social media affects our money and our identities, so let's discuss!
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Time Stamps:
00:00 aesthetic subcultures
01:28 case study: VSCO Girl
02:56 shared visual languages
04:13 aesthetics vs identity
05:03 shortcutting personality?
06:29 subculture disposibility
07:20 decentering materialism
08:29 my mustache aesthetic phase
09:13 lifestyle inflation
12:18 keeping up with the jones'
13:00 final thoughts
Keywords for some sweet, sweet metadata:
Personal finance, money management, aesthetic subculture, making money, income, social media, instagram, pinterest, tiktok, overconsumption, consumerism, consumption, identity, video essays

[@yeeyeeyeeye]

I will forever be angry at how grunge - a subculture that was purely anti-capitalist and anti-consumerist at its core, with a strong sense of "I don't care how dirty or poor I look to societal standards, I will wear these clothes until they fall apart because I like them and it's efficient" - became mainstream and swallowed up by big designer brands to the point that it is barely recognizable and it doesn't even have the same values anymore.

[@Urmomlolllllll]

I was thinking the same. I was a teen in the 90ies. Subcultures were born out of ideology. Anything from Grunge to Punk to Metal to Goth had certain ideologies/identities. It was to signal what you stood for or maybe more so what you didn’t stand for. The subcultures nowadays are purely consumerist. The kids (incl. my teenage daughter) have no idea and also no interest in the origins of the styles. She loves my 20-year old band tees cause they are “preppy” but doesn’t know any of the music. I would love for her to listen to an entire album with me but her attention span would never last. We’re talking the length of Song 2 not November Rain 😂. The real shock came to me first hand in 2018 when a teenager was trying to sell a Pink Floyd Prism Tee on an online secondhand site with the description #cute #rainbow #pride. I felt such profound sadness and heartbreak. Who under the age of 35 can actually relate to this kind of pain? 😞

[@ifetayodavidson-cade5613]

Unfortunately, counterculture aesthetics are swallowed by capitalism and separated from their accompanying ideologies in order to sell them to the mainstream public devoid of meaning. It happened in pre-grunge subcultures and post-grunge subcultures. A big example is how originally, people ripped their own jeans through repeated use or deliberately, and now pre-ripped jeans are for sale.

[@13hehe]

That's the thing about capitalism: it will appropriate any cause...Even the most progressive ones, capitalism will find a way to profit from it whilst removing any element of revolt, revolution, progressive thought or radicalism.

[@SheepasaurusRex]

sometimes i hate-window shop on fast fashion brands under the alt tags specifically because it is so fucking easy to make 90% of those items yourself. $20 for ripped stockings??? $50 for an oversized shirt over striped sleeves???? get fucked

[@Itsunclegabby]

See also: 'Punk' and 'Goth'

[@therobotdevil2284]

I feel like the most unique, authentic thing you can do is decorate your life with the things that you enjoy, regardless of whether there's aesthetic cohesion involved.

[@zsideas2594]

I agree just do whatever you want

[@seabreeze4559]

A lot of this is actually Character Trait Acquisition, narcissists cannot be original they MUST copycat. They don't have a real self.

[@TysonASMR]

Period

[@tangerinetangerine4400]

​@@seabreeze4559 Stop randomly diagnosing people. Humans are highly social species and trying to fit in is a big part of that. Following trends is what most people do and that doesn't make them narcissists. It makes them human.

[@erinmoore3943]

​@sea breeze, that's a really interesting point. I've never thought of it like that

[@FlipTheBard]

Nowadays anything and anyone can become an aesthetic. We don't have identities anymore, we have "aesthetics".

[@jonferngut]

just walk down your regular town and you´ll see everyone basically looks the same even when they are trying so hard not to.

[@sonsauvage]

This is what happens when your identity is intricately linked to the things you own, and a very strong desire to belong

[@Solaceon]

I read a comment on Instagram yesterday that said "smoking cigarettes is so aesthetic" 🤢 I smoke and it's disgusting. I thought we were past this!

[@simp2234]

Dress like homeless is also too

[@kittypeanut4102]

I'm a teen and i always see people of my age using the same type of clothes (which, even if i don't want to, makes me a little embarrased because i'm always the different one), it's pretty boring, i liked seeing things "aesthetic", but when you see it everyday with every person, it stops being special

[@lettersbeads]

I like how "having an aesthetic" just equals "owning specific products from certain brands"

[@ei_maj]

Right!! I was just thinking how exhausting and expensive this could turn into. Exhausting trying to fit yourself into a specific box everyday. I'm a millennial and I don't have much of a specific "style", I just wear what I like - which I'm sure is true for most people that aren't identifying with specific trends. I like preppy clothes some days, hood, grunge, feminine, bummy, matchy, I mean.. it's whatever is comfortable and fits the plans. You know the amount of time I'd spend trying to pick an outfit, shoes, hairdo, etc etc etc, if I was forcing myself to essentially limit myself to a certain "aesthetic"? Goodnight. Sounds unnecessarily stressful

[@lyzziekelly]

Yea.....that's kinda how it works 🤣. You buy things that match the aesthetic

[@StarlightPrism]

@@lyzziekelly Still, aesthetics don't always have to be about brands. Having a focus on brands makes an aesthetic feel much more consumer-based than ones that don't focus on brands. (of course, most aesthetics are consumer-based)

[@TheBrokeCyberWanderer]

Vsco girl- Scrunchies, Oversized t-shirt, birkenstocks... that aesthetic is 1990s summer camp.

[@Cupcakeprincess85]

😂😂😂😂

[@ashleysweetly4613]

True! And I never grew out of it. Forever a VSCO girl I guess 😅

[@margaretf667]

Comfy

[@simp2234]

Working tilll dealth is well more of asthmatic

[@TheFaro2011]

Oh shit. Lol

[@chiarac2747]

When people say "just let people be happy!" I hate it, like, I am not criticizing this because I want people to be unhappy, I'm criticizing it because I see a problem.

[@elliygxoxo]

Facts!! ❤

[@ei_maj]

Exactly!!!!

[@user-xu4uh1wp7t]

Yes!!

[@lyzziekelly]

No

[@letesaaviles9641]

I think that sentence is better understood if they include "their ignorance seems to be their bliss so -just let people be happy" but I feel you man. I got a phrase I also dont like hearing

[@toomuchdata]

I loved that you threw in the Harley Davidson dudes as an example of this, because we all tend to think of this as something only silly young girls are susceptible to.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

yes!! that's what I was hoping to drive home :) I was/am also worried people will think this is an issue exclusive to women, since people love the stereotype of 'girls shopping too much', but there are so many male-dominated aesthetic subcultures that experience the same problem

[@deedeeramone34]

I wish you had done a deeper review of the paper, your analysis was very bare bones and shallow. Thank you for introducing it to me, I enjoyed reading it and forwarded to a few friends.

[@tonysamosa1717]

Well to keep consistent we need to ask are the adopters of Harley Davidson asthetic staying with that asthetic for their life or are they pivoting to say cool dad asthetic or runner asthetic or right wing patriot or left wing activist asthetic. The presenter (sorry idk your name this is literally the first time I’ve heard of you or your channel) brings up a great point that subscribing to an asthetic is not inherently bad it’s just the constant pivot that is bad

[@corabiz08]

“True expression comes from the act of creating, not consuming.” Wow, this was so profound! Instant sub for that thought, and it may change my life!

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

I'm so happy to hear that line resonated with you :) and thank you also for watching!

[@simp2234]

Well u create a product well is still aesthetic too🤣🤣🤣

[@Watashiwaa]

Ppl in real life are savage inbreds everywhere. Some ppl on KZbin can be sane and have lucid thoughts.

[@megmcguigan3857]

A lot of younger people right now want to fit into a box instead of just being themselves.The endless clothing 'hauls' are crass, especially when people are going hungry and don't have the money to pay their bills. The age of the influencer is coming to an end because the economy is in freefall..

[@pahlevymu]

The video opened up to me about how younger people socialize, they don't often socialize directly like people used to, instead they socializing by following trend and fit into a box.

[@aava-tati6130]

This is a really good point! However, I think tribalism and "wanting to fit in" and going out of your way to be accepted by NOT being yourself has always been around. Nowadays it's showing up in a different way, like in social media and it's sub-cultures!

[@megmcguigan3857]

@@pahlevymu I find that sad. I'm glad I was a teen in the 80's before the internet.

[@djlivvy46]

​@@aava-tati6130 - yes, this has definitely always been a thing ever since pop culture was formed. There were Mods vs Rockers in the 60's, punks in the 70's, New Romantics in the 80's and Goths in the 90's. And that's just the ones that were the most well known.

[@amethystdream8251]

I'm in my 30s and I didn't participate in the haul stuff, but I do understand why people want to fit into a box. I'm the type of person who can't seem to fit into a box even when I try, and I think that's lovely and worth it, but it is definitely not the easiest life experience to be oneself for some of us at least. I do wonder, Why is there so much resistance to and shade thrown towards people being themselves? What makes that too triggering for so many people to handle? People conform to trends, however stupid they are, to avoid the backlash that can come by not conforming

[@guerralg63]

Im 60 years old, and I like to watch these videos because they are a window to the younger generations. This is not a put down, but it's really no wonder that this young generation is on anxiety meds! Listening to all this made me feel like taking a Xanax!!! This sort of consumerism has existed for years. Especially after WW2, but with the advent of social media, it seems to have turned into an uncontrollable monster! When I was a teen, I got into punk rock, and I made my own stuff with the clothes I had and stuff from the thrift store. Back then, there was a ton of early 60s shoes, clothes, and costume jewelry at the junk stores, and I went Mod. Then Rockabilly with 50s stuff. All my friends did the same, because the regular stores didn't carry the stuff we wanted, except for a store in Hollywood called posuer. We used our creativity and what little money we had to show our "individuality." Then, as the street style became popular, we began to see these looks in stores, and that was it for me. It was now being mass-produced! Well I grew up and wore the career clothes that I liked and suited my personality, and not the Brooks Brothers IBM look that was popular at the time, and now as a mature woman I feel that I have earned the right to wear what I want regardless of it's in style or if it makes me look like an old lady! I say this because I see so many articles and videos on the internet and KZbin for older women about what they/we should be wearing to look Trendy, young, and Hip. Well, that's fine, but I have no intention to live my sunset years worrying if I am looking young, hip, and trendy. I say wear what you want and stop being controlled by the fashion stazi police! Limit your social media, and go outside and live!!!

[@susannpatton2893]

Kids like to give new names to same Ole stuff and think it's new or they are the only ones to ever experience it 😂😂😂😂 - pass the Xanax- they are a mess

[@rosered3948]

i wish i was a boomer the old times seems better to be honest

[@woo3524]

@@rosered3948this is such a crazy thing to say like if ur biggest issue with our generation is the obsession with aesthetics then you’ve gotta be crazy privileged

[@breezey81]

I was reading what you wrote and nodding my head and saw the bit about Poseur and gasped. A real original LA punk is in our presence! *salute* I'm glad to see that independent spirit has stayed with you! 🧷

[@susannpatton2893]

@woo3524 many romanticize the past, that's not uncommon- my dIL always said she wanted to live back it the 50's due to how the perception that dad didn't cheat and families didn't experience divorce etc. Little did she know that some dads and or moms (to be fair) had other children and families that were not known to the other. Things weren't as rosy as they appear in hindsight. So I'm sure that's their thought process to

[@blankbenefit449]

Romantisizing your life is nothing bad. I have a big garden that I love taking care of. It is just a hobby that I take care of when I get back from work and on weekends. Cottagcore misses the core point of what is the most important while having a farm: ginormus amount of work. Fashion is fashion. You won't put cute dress while doing weed removal. If all my chores are done, then I'll put on a cute outfit and just look at the fruit of my work. That beeing said: I don't belive it's a reality of those people.

[@josephinenelan4204]

I actually love dressing cute for even dirty things, but I have the knowledge that they do get stained and muddy. Pink gardening tools, pink leather gloves, and pink rubber boots. BUT they def don’t look “picture perfect” with the use… Pink makes me happy, even with stains and blotches and tears

[@louiseerbslisbjerg7854]

I actually have😊 garden dresses; if not wearing overalls, I'm wearing one of my house-dresses which is made for wotking around the house and garden - to pertect from ruining your good dresses. I dig, plant, cultivate, cut bushes and hedges, all while wearing a dress.

[@jenniferh.2150]

“Romanticizing your life” is just a dog whistle for toxic positivity. There’s nothing romantic about changing your car battery out or cleaning your cat’s vomit or changing your kids diapers when they have a stomach flu. Life is just unpleasant sometimes and Gen Z doesn’t have a lot of living under their belt yet, so they think they can make real life bend to their will and look like a Target ad. They don’t know that the things that keep you from being lonely have nothing to do with your curated online life.

[@bunnyboops8875]

People never miss an opportunity to mock someone else to elevate themselves. 🙄 Cottagecore doesn't have to mean gardening or dirty work. Do you.

[@snailmailmagic1133]

@@bunnyboops8875 are you talking about yourself ?

[@CountinCrayolas]

I believe this is a reflection of our natural tribalism and desire to be a part of a group. With social media, we are now able to be more significantly influenced by brands and other sub cultures than the past.

[@CrimsonRose29]

Definitely. We all just want to feel like we belong somewhere and are accepted. I’m a bit of a loner and a hard core introvert but even I spend quite a bit of time socializing online with other loners and introverts 😂

[@andromeday8508]

A couple years ago, I was so worried about the fact that I couldn’t be full “grunge” or “cottagecore” because I both love rock music and play classical instruments. Now I’m so happy that I didn’t give up my interests to make myself a consumerised version of myself, and I’ve realized that when I learn something unexpected about my friends it’s so cool and makes them that much more interesting because their personalities don’t fit into boxes.

[@user-mj3ux7gr9w]

As a 17 year old girl watching this video I can heavily agree especially with the trend cycles and money part. I used to have a job and each time I got payed I would spend it on cloths I THOUGHT we cute at the time because they were in trend and it kind of fit into my personal style, but then months later or even weeks I found myself never actually wearing it and then later throwing it out. And it is not like I can get any of that money back either. So I guess you can say I’m crusted by it. Not to mention that a huge reason as to why I fed into trends is because I never really had an aesthetic I just kind of bought what I liked, but then soon ppl started to say I was wierd or I was not aesthetic enough and it just messed with my head a lot mentally. Conformity is toxcicity but accepted.

[@rebekkaroe]

don't worry about people telling you are "not aesthetic" enough or that they don't like your clothes. You'll notice as you grow older that people become more mature and know what's truly important in life and that nobody has to "prove" themselves to others. (At least that's my experience. The older I got the more I just didn't care anymore what other people thought). Which brings me to my surprise that you are already mature enough to realize that buying these clothes didn't get you the value you thought they would plus setting you back a couple of steps financially. That is huge. You can really be proud of yourself of already having realizations like that. It'll get you far in life! ❤

[@pablouribe1522]

Just be yourself. Do not attach your personality to material stuff, and take advantage that you are young and have not waste much money/time on it.

[@heavender]

At least you get to learn this early before it has really really negative consequences in your life 🤗

[@cjjuszczak]

@@rebekkaroe "The older I got the more I just didn't care anymore what other people thought)." Yep, getting old enough to "not give a fuck what anyone thinks of me" is the ultimate counterculture lol I say this as a 48 year old who learned a while ago i care not for impressing strangers, or worrying what they may think about my lifestyle, and purchasing, choices :)

[@Amaya-mf6yq]

That is such a mature opinion. I wish i was so lucid when I was your age!

[@niamhsheridan8556]

Personally, I wouldn't look towards the vsco girl aesthetic to the beginning of this phenomenon. I was a teenager in the early 2010s and the main thing I can point towards is Tumblr fashion blogs, dividing consumers based on their interests. There was, in particular, the "Tumblr grunge" which fused fashion with personal ideology and mental health. This contrasted the hyper feminine pastel summer trends of the time, and for me really started the identity politics of online fashion. But even at that, this can be tracked back to the beginning of online teen culture, with emo and scene, and then before that, the growth of gothic scenes in the 80s and 90s. Aesthetics we're born from real life subculture, which has always existed, but never has been connected so strongly with fast fashion or false online identities.

[@Chloe-kw5ic]

Exactly. Scene culture was heavily built off MySpace and so many of the current aesthetic trends (cottagecore, dark academia, etc) came from Tumblr

[@larkfly9273]

You're gonna make it big, girl. You have all the components for success: interesting topics, eloquency and good and dynamic editing. Keep it up.

[@lulupomegranate]

She won't. She's not smart, she just talks in an annoying way thinking she's smart. It's good enough for dumb people but hardly to make it big in any meaningful way.

[@simp2234]

What identity

[@biggbeefer]

I'm happy that it seems like people are waking up to how hyper-consumerism & materialism is really hurting us. The speed at which trends come and go in the internet era is dangerous if it's causing you to spend money. Our generation needs to learn to express ourselves from within more

[@victorgrecca8717]

When we realize that this "emptiness", that this "hole" that exists within us, will not be filled by things, approvals or belonging, we can begin to see life with different eyes... :3

[@mascara1777]

Only Jesus can fill this emptiness with love.

[@Gothicgarlic]

Aesthetics and 'cores' are another extension of capitalism and are part of consumption for consumption sake. Capitalism can only function if we continue to consume so, of course, reasons keep coming up to get people to consume.

[@fragolaimmatura]

Yeah. If you don’t need it, corporations will make you desire it. You’ll waste your minimum 9-5 salary to get the cheapest, low quality products for a high price. Wasting time, wasting life for corporatations that use our ancestral instincts (wanting to feel part of a group, so you buy stuff etc) to make money. Wake up y’all you’re being kept poor so they can keep being rich.

[@takiz8667]

So what u saying is we must stop capitalism 😂😂😂 Oh my goodness haha

[@Gothicgarlic]

@@takiz8667 exactly

[@LockheedMartinEnjoyer]

Not necessarily. It is more of a social issue at large of naturally wanting to find a sense of identity and/or belonging with people(s). This is a larger issue than eco-political ideologies.

[@Jaesdaes]

@@LockheedMartinEnjoyer i think there is certainly truth in both takes.

[@charlotteclarke868]

I can really track how I'm feeling socially by how fashion-anxious I am. If I feel isolated, I put a lot of attention to my look being trendy and high class, but if I feel loved and connected, I just wear whats comfortable, or I have more creative fun with fashion weirdness.

[@ieeee_.]

tbh the way to high class is just look clean lmao

[@SGTJones2009]

Wow. I can't believe I never identified this connection in myself before you posted it here, but that hit me like a bolt of lightning. I am *exactly* the same way. I may enjoy fashion when I'm feeling loved and connected, but it's a far cry from the desperate, hungry, anxious way I approach it when I'm feeling less-than, unworthy, lonely, or disconnected. Thank you!

[@wot4me2]

This.

[@romabroadberry6914]

History always repeats itself. I think our culture is going through a modern era of Romanticism which was pretty prominent in 18th/19th century arts and literature. Everything was about glamorizing the aesthetic. The reaction to that was the Realism movement and then the Naturalism movement. My guess is we will go through the exact same thing but with a contemporary twist where the internet exists.

[@rebekkaroe]

"True expression comes from the act of creating, not consuming" 💯I love what you said here - it's so true. We don't need to consume in order to show our personality or identity but obviously brands want to sell us a different story.

[@TheAncientMariner09]

Fashion subcultures (often also music subcultures) in the past I feel encouraged creating over consuming a lot more than they do now because there weren't many clothing companies out there catering to fashion subcultures. I used to be a part of the goth subculture when it revolved around 80s and 90s goth music (and wasn't just about fashion) and just about everyone involved was contributing by creating art and fashion for the subculture. I feel like that just isn't something you see as much now, people mostly buy into fashion subcultures.

[@PoptartParasol]

Im so disconnected from fashion trends and I have never been happier. I have not heard of any of these "aesthetics" besides cottagecore and dark academia I just buy what I like and what fits me, and most of that inspiration comes from childhood or my mom, or just some women I see on the street. Thats how it should be :/ i feel theres so much less pressure that way, and a much better "aesthetic" pipeline of flourishing in your own identity.

[@wplants9793]

I’m 40 (elder millennial hehe) and when I was growing up I was * super * into personal style and expression. But I got the vast majority of my high concept wardrobe at thrift stores. Every Tuesday the thrift store had a deal where you could fill a big black garbage bag for $8. My friends and I would beg a mom to drive us there and split a bag. For makeup and hair stuff, I got everything for like a dollar at Ben Franklin. The best was summer time when the yard sales were hopping. Never did my friends and I want new pieces at the mall. Well, maybe a couple things from the Delia’s catalogue, but thanks to having proximity to Gen X trends I was heavily influenced to think thrifted was the best as far as style went, and honestly I still do today. The bands I were into all wore vintage or army surplus or Fred Meyer …think of Kurt Cobain, Scott Weiland, Billy Corgan, and even the girls wore real basic classic things. I get a lot of clothes from our local free pile and consignment shops, and I buy things on Mercari or Poshmark for my kids.

[@jacobteets27]

Thank you

[@MsArri81]

Yes! As an elder Millennial myself (41) my teen self regularly hit my trendy neighborhood consignment shop to refresh my wardrobe. I would trade in clothes that I was tired of for store credit because it was worth more than cash. My mom was a seasoned thrifter and she knew how to thrift the best stuff, clothes and housewares, even furniture. So buying used and not new was how I was brought up. I loved Delias catalog too but never purchased anything because it was more of a wish list to see if I could find the items at a thrift or consignment store.

[@Autumn1988]

I feel like aesthetics are just natural styles and personality’s hyped up for social media. I live in jeans, flannel, hiking clothes, etc.. apparently I’m “cabin core”. Nah I’m just wearing what works for me and my lifestyle

[@PuzzlesC4M]

“Aesthetics” are why I don’t understand Gen Z. Your identity is just you. If you like a thing, then you like it. Not everything has to be associated with a brand.

[@VanTilburger]

One way of combatting lifestyle inflation I found is through my job's 401k. Whenever I get a raise each year, I automatically increase the amount I contribute to my 401k by .5%. I still get a slight raise for my current self, but it also insures that I'll be contributing to my retirement as well. I know a lot of people might not get a raise every year, but for those who do, it might be something worth considering

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

such a good idea!

[@Ss-ls7kr]

You never know if you could get sick before you even retire. I’d put some into travelling

[@bobbyschindel7753]

Guy Debord wrote a book in the ‘60s called Society of the Spectacle; when our commodities step in as a representation for ourself.

[@piccalillipit9211]

*MY SUBCULTURE IS 1890 to 1930* men's historical clothing - which I make bespoke for myself and clients - patching, darning, repairing, peacing and life-extending is very much part of it A jacket I make should last the client 50 years of regular wear. It comes with spare fabric for patches, thread, buttons, and has enough "inlay" to allow you to put on 50lb in weight and have it let out to fit you. I leave 4" on the trousers in case your son has longer legs than you - YES - I expect a suit to last long enough for you to pass it on to your kids.

[@ItsOKtobeNormal]

That's really cool!

[@atheinasophiajade1044]

❤

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@ItsOKtobeNormal - OH thank you

[@lmaosteph8657]

Love the unique taste & the fine craftsmanship! 🎉

[@piccalillipit9211]

@@lmaosteph8657 - OH thank you very much

[@mitchells7634]

For the last decade, from high school, college, and now in my 20s, I haven't cared at all about having "a style". It's turned into my own aesthetic that part of it is not caring about trends or fads. It's always been a random collection of stuff I like and find useful, and it really makes life less stressful.

[@Burn143]

“True expression comes from the act of *creating* not consuming”. Well said.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Fullmetal1890P]

I think this was getting bad when I was a teenager, but it's out of control now. Aesthetic ≠ culture Aesthetic should be the *result* of culture, but aesthetic is not in and of itself culture. If you are equating your identity to what you look like, you're missing the most important part of who you are. This trend of just making yourself look on the outside like you want to feel on the inside has gotten out of hand, especially when it's being pushed on us by corporations who keep feeding us the same lie (i.e. "retail therapy"). If you want to be more of yourself, then go BE more of yourself, don't just look like it. It's a never-ending road of unhappiness and disappointment when you're just chasing the next ego high. There's nothing wrong with having an appearance you can be proud of, but leave it at that. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of thinking that you need to keep changing your outside to be happy on the inside, because it doesn't work. Live your life and the "aesthetic" will follow. Lead with the aesthetic and you'll never have a life.

[@Planck944]

Thanks ❤

[@arvinyao6942]

“True expression comes from the act of creating not consuming” WOW

[@kristaw206]

Aesthetics were a thing when I was a teenager/early 20s too, they were just different and there are way more of them now because companies now know they can capitilize on it! You realize as you get older keeping up with these "trends" are meaningless and you are way better off not.

[@simp2234]

Welll a person with no identity is worst 😂

[@anonplussedhuman2615]

But how old are you now? What years were you a teen? Post or pre internet? Makes a major difference.

[@vacafuega]

I remember facing this when i went to university 20 years ago. The difference was there was one mainstream currently idealised identity to fit into and the subcultures were peripheral to that. I fretted for ages trying to work out what "my" aesthetic was before realising i was chopping bits off myself to try and fit into boxes. At this point my aesthetic is everything i've chosen over the years for how it feels and how it performs and lasts. In other words aesthetics now emerge from function in my life, and it's worked a lot better that way.

[@baileymoran8585]

The moment I hear someone say ‘my aesthetic is…’ I know they are too materialistic and obsessed with appearance for me to relate to them. ‘Aesthetic’ literally just means your style and looks are taking the place of a personality, at least now. Of course I have a personal style. It’s dictated by my tastes, interests, and values. It isn’t who I am.

[@piccalillipit9211]

*AS A 53 YEAR OLD SEMI RETIRED GUY* seriously listen to this girl - If I had someone to tell me this when I was 20 I would have retired at 40...!!! I wasted more money on cars alone than most people retire with in their pension *LEARN TO LIVE ON LESS THAN YOU EARN - COS SPENDING IS INFINITE* IN 2014 I was on €15k a month AFTER TAX and I was still paycheck to paycheck cos lifestyle expands infinitely to soak up the money

[@ameliatorres6162]

I remember falling into the academia-core aesthetic for a bit as I was preparing for my PhD entrance. Good thing was I didn't have any money to go hard on it, but it was a big trap. I remember feeling angsty about not having an iPad for the portability of digital notebooks and PDF's. But, at the same time, a mirrorless camera purchase that I did about 2 years ago that seemed impulsive at first has become a central element of my work tools. I can't imagine not having my camera for work as I am constantly doing field work documenting craftsmen and artisanal work. I guess it all boils down to balance and how to be smart enough to make strategic purchases that can withstand time.

[@aranimethma6435]

I’m so grateful for having people like you in the KZbin community, because young adults like us , get to have good financial advice that is not usually taught at school to everyone . Thank you , you teach me something new everyday

[@Lu-dm7rn]

A few months ago I realized that I was constantly chasing some "group" that I could fit in and proudly say that I was a part of, but then I realized that after I bought what was needed tô be considered part of that specific group, I still felt empty and all the things that I aquired was useless and wasn't that necessary to survive... I still find myself falling to some trends that pop every now and then, but most of the time I try to stop and evaluate if it is something indispensable for my life. I try to focus on stuff that will add to myself like my intellect and my quality of life, like you mentioned, a gym or some sport. And most important: stay away from social media! 🙃

[@robbylebotha]

It's all vanity, validation and severe lack of integrity. Suddenly everyone goes to the art gallery, only to take pictures of themselves looking at art. That's actually very telling. They think they are the art.

[@seabreeze4559]

exactly, I just loudly ask them to move or ideally, get security to boot them out secretly think THEY are why places won't let anyone take photos sometimes

[@lulupomegranate]

"Suddenly?" that's some bold as bullshit. People were faking being cultured WAY before "aesthetics".

[@thomasbarchen]

I like to take photos of those taking photos. Sometimes someone takes a picture of me doing that.

[@dostagirl9551]

@@lulupomegranateTrue. It use to be more of an upper class thing, but I think we are seeing it more now because the evolution of occupations leading to more leisure time, disposable cash, and having the eyes of the public on you - something that use to be reserved for the wealthy or celebrities - via social media.

[@anabritelora]

I remember first hearing of Hydroflasks in 2019 and laughing at the concept of a trendy water bottle. Now in these past couple months I thought hard about what kind of water bottle I wanted to invest in since I wanted something that encouraged me to drink more water, especially after hearing about how everyone is so obsessed with the Stanley Cup. After hours of researching different types and comparing sales (Stanley’s, Yeti’s, Amazon brands, dupes, etc)…I went with a 32oz Hydro Flask with a flex straw cap 😅 But it was because I thought about what I needed and that just happened to best fit what I was looking for (also I could get it engraved which made me super happy and excited), and I waited a couple weeks for a good sale before I went ahead to buy it (spoiler, it’s been so useful and worth it!)

[@Dino_Valentino]

Fully endorse that true expression comes from creating, not consuming.

[@melissaabrego1884]

I feel like it definitely ties in with the new “Main Character vibes” that’s been floating around for the past year or two. I think we as a generation need to get out of the mentality that we need to be unique individuals in every sense of the word. I really love the point you made in the self care video that we need to have a better relationship with our money and I feel like that ties into this as well

[@user-fr4yv5op1r]

I totally agree with you. This categorization sort of messed up my life when I was 14 because I tried to keep up with Dark academia by buying white and brown vintage clothes, reading classical literature, listening to classical music, and of course behaving like a Dark academia girl would. This doesn't sound bad until I say how I limited myself in purchasing more comfortable sneakers, jeans, bright shirts because it didn't fit in my aesthetic. There's more to say about how it affected my attitude towards boys, but the point is that that obsession put some limits to my self-expression as a 14-year-old girl

[@wingeren]

Not sure how your videos ended up in my feed since I'm probably older than most of your audience 😀 but I definitely agree with and support your message as well as your style of video. Very straightforward, not relying on lots of graphics or unnecessary cuts. Also I'll say to all the "the kids these days!" commenters, despite the new-ish teminology of *-core, none of this is even remotely new, unfortunately. Fashion is and has for hundreds of years been a way to fit into some sort of group and label yourself to the outside world. It wasn't any different when I was in high school (in the 90s 😬) and it'll probably be like this for the foreseeable future. Dressing well and fitting in with a room aren't bad things per se. But believing that fashion can define or improve who you are as a person is a dangerous thing, especially in an age when you can easily spend $1,000 in an afternoon to buy into an aesthetic.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

thanks so much for watching and for your kind words, I appreciate it :) and so true - 'core' is the new way to describe this, but it's been around for a long time!

[@shayne_has_landed2511]

Aesthetics are trying to eat cultures/subcultures and it’s such an upsetting problem. For example, I’m punk. My fashion sense shows that I’m punk, especially since I almost exclusively wear thrifted clothes. Over the past few years, I have come across dozens of kids seeking out punk as an *aesthetic*, and it’s beyond annoying. Punk values are anti-captialist, meaning we do not tolerate unethical labor, hyper-consumption, or ecosystem-killing habits. I’ve had to pull kids off their pedestals explaining that they cannot be punk if they shop for aesthetic fashion on Amazon- Amazon is the enemy of punks. And they throw tantrums, saying that us punks are “discriminating against poor people” because “how else are they supposed to dress punk if they can’t buy their fingerless gloves off of Amazon?” Yes, punks “being discriminatory against poor people” is an argument I often hear 🤦. Kid, punk was born and bred in poverty; generations of punks have been making their clothes out of scrap metal and old, dirty, hand-me-down band t-shirts. Punk fashion /isn’t punk unless it’s ethical/. And the upsetting fact that there are mindless-hyper-consumer kids out there who “identify as punk” because they think the fashion is “aesthetic” is a threat to our culture. Our culture will survive. We don’t tolerate this behavior in the community. There will always be punks to push “posers” out of the community. But it is so annoying to have people that embody the opposite of your belief system publicly claim to identify with your belief system. I’m white, so I can’t personally speak for the damage aesthetics and modern internet culture have done to exclusively non-white subcultures, but I know it’s much worse for them.

[@Damian-lu8sx]

I've just discovered your channel and I feel like I'm gonna binge watch all of your videos. It's great to see criticism of spending to impress others getting more popular. By the way, I love the visuals, they give me a bit of a Vox feel.

[@avengermkii7872]

Watching these videos shows me how little I know about the random trends that people get into and how much money the waste on it. The $1500 spending tag could always go somewhere else but instead they waste it jumping on bandwagons. Yes it's their money but sometimes you just have to stop spending it on things if you aren't going to wear it for more than 1 year.

[@Lupe5677]

I relate a lot to this video. I often think I don't have an aesthetic and my clothes are not good enough and that I need more. But to be honest they are perfectly fine and I don't need to fall into the trap of having a specific label that requires a lot of money

[@leeannpelletier4117]

I honestly like all the choices and trends because it’s so unique to our time period and relies on so many social, political, and historical influences for a trend to emerge. I like being a part of my timeline, so to speak. I am not going to throw away stuff or go crazy on Shein, I just think young people are not ‘vapid’ for enjoying trends and matching their friends. It doesn’t mean they aren’t unique or don’t have an identity. Just criticism I have been seeing.

[@tehgaymer9020]

As a Millennial (And former goth and emo kid), I remember growing up and seeing the tail-end of the Grunge era and then seeing the other groups of the time, there was clear divisions (Grunge, Punk (Or more accurately post-punk), Goth, Preps, Jocks, Emo, Skater) and you knew what types of general interests, music, values, people in those groups had or were part of (Stereotypes and misinformation about them aside). I noticed around the 2010s those all seemed to start fading away and diluted into other aesthetics/cores of the time. Like Hipsters seemed like a softer, watered down blend of Emo and Grunge mixed together, Goth & Emo is now the E-Boy/E-Girl and Pastel Goth looks and now it's just aesthetics. While consumerism plays a big part, I think a part of it, at least from my personal perception is because these days there's very little "subcultures" like there was just a few decades ago. Not that there aren't some nowadays, but they seem like a much smaller number, so the "aesthetic" is to try and capture that spark to create a subculture of a sense, but it just misses the mark. The concept is there, but not the reasons for it.

[@natnuss98]

I know the reason: complete digitilaisation of our lives and personal interactions

[@robertlevasseur6843]

Very astute analysis and sound advice. As an old baby boomer, I have been bombarded my whole life with marketing designed to suggest that happiness is associated with what you consume. We all buy in to a certain extent because the pressure is constant and multidirectional. It's only when you are old enough to have lived through the same trends multiple times that you realize just how shallow consumerism really is. It is freeing to just not care which means, you are not part of a group, nor are you rebelling against it.

[@lloydmccullough5316]

These are a lot of really interesting questions to think about! I feel like some of these influences even end up being a little subconscious, sometimes I’ll find myself searching for particular products and then I’ll wonder why was I even looking for this ... great video!

[@fool4spuffy]

i rarely leave comments but i just found your channel and i never realized how important learning ab the dangers of overconsumption while being mindful of my own finances in such an intentional way can be. i love the way you think and i’m really grateful for your videos. thank you!

[@goldengrace2833]

You beautifully presented this crucial concept. I have found great freedom in finally abandoning my many costumes and just embracing my authentic expression. Now I am thankful for the parameters that my style exists within.

[@AccordingtoNicole]

I’m so glad I found your channel last week. Your videos are basically what I try to convey in mine… but articulated and edited so much better. You’re my new fave.

[@justliving222]

I agree with not over spending and being a slave to trends BUT I love aesthetic inspiration. I am personally a fan of cottage core which is most about creative and intentionally living. This does not require money more than it requires thoughtfulness for beauty. Aesthetically things make everyone happy!

[@mxar2074]

This is basically what the professor in my consumer behavior lecture taught us, but you bring another layer to it making it easier to understand. Instantly subscribed, thanks for sharing :)

[@coffee8599]

This is why youtube is the only scoial media i actively use. It still has constant advertisements, but to use multiple social medias would just be overwhelming.

[@djlivvy46]

There have always been trends and subcultures going back to when pop culture first emerged, or possibly going back to the 20's and 30's when blues & jazz became more widely known. I think the big difference is that people have access to a lot more money at a lot younger age. Another issue is that the line between celebrities and gen pop is now blurred. When I was young, it would have been unthinkable for a young person to buy the same handbag or dress as a celebrity, the most we could hope for was buying a lipstick or perfume that they were advertising.

[@Qtopian]

I do think the difference between cottagecore, grannycore, coastal grandma coquette etc vs. mustaches vsco clean girl aesthetics is that the aforementioned aesthetics can be easily sustainable and thrifted. These aesthetics have been around for a very long time and you can invest in antiques/vintage items that work for you. Even if you buy a lot of clutter those aesthetics can be rather sustainable

[@mentalatte]

Just discovered your channel like half an hour ago and totally fell in love with your content! It’s convincing and illustrated concisely

[@rgriffith6476]

MAN you are hitting the nail on the head with this video!!! Isolated people are SO much easier to control (ESP. If they are equipped with the latest and greatest rectangle).

[@rach78901]

I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this! What a great video

[@lindyloohoo]

As someone super into fashion, i didn’t even think of this as a thing so I’m upset that i didn’t realize it. But i also don’t usually jump on bandwagons, so maybe thats why

[@ezydoesit993]

I love your observations. I find that so many people, specifically people following trends, lack a personality, these are the people that are desperate to belong to a group.

[@taylormarie5643]

What’s wrong with that?

[@titandarknight2698]

What does lack a personality mean exactly? Have you tried interacting with those folks, tried to understand what they like? or did you simply look at the people they hang out with and deem them "personality-less". Wheater you like it or not, EVERYONE has a personality. Get off that high horse.

[@w.holyheart]

Your voice is really soothing and you're talking about topics which have been frustrating me for years, but in such a mature manner that it makes it impossible for me to be angry. You're projecting some sort of peace of heart and mind, leading me to look at my own behavior instead of getting mad at others (which I do more often than I would like) - thank you for that.

[@zacdatsme7959]

Keep these videos coming, thank you for bringing such truths to light in a world where many live in their shadows

[@kelvin5685]

Absolute banger! I’m learning a lot from your videos

[@cantbuyme80s]

I dress in all 80s every single day and it makes me happy. I also post 80s things on tiktok and Instagram a lot because I love too. I don’t think what I do is wrong.

[@pigeondance]

you definitely don't do anything wrong! I mostly wear old/old-looking clothes and silhouettes too, because I like them and I just look better in them! the problem in aesthetics is that they're limiting and they promote consumerism and buying to construct an identity. if we don't do either and just enjoy stuff that we like, we're fine

[@_DEVILYCH]

It’s not what the author is saying

[@nutsanatolia]

this is brilliantly done?! i'm so blown away!!!! sharing this with everyone i know!! 🤣🤣

[@Merchantic]

Just found your channel today, think i found what video series I'm going to binge this week. Thanks Cara!

[@prmtv]

I find the aesthetics thing fascinating and interesting to see peoples takes on it. While it's in the same category not everyone has the same interpretation so it's interesting to see what ppl come up with. It also is actually helpful because it helps me organize my thoughts more when clothes shopping. Too many options can be overwhelming so it helps me narrow things down. I also don't stick to one aesthetic, it varies depending upon the situation and I do most of my clothes shopping at thrift stores so I don't spend much money.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

What bothers me about some of these aesthetics is the ideologies and worldviews that can sometimes creep their way (sometimes storm their way) into these communities. A lot of regressive and harmful ideas are being pushed along with these aesthetics. I’m thinking of the gender essentialism, tradwife, classist, and racist content that can come packaged with cottage core and luxury aesthetics, or the conspiracy theory culture that has found its way into health/wellness content. Some of these aesthetics are a gateway to reactionary and xenophobic content.

[@seabreeze4559]

cottagecore is literally derived from Nazi propaganda..... that's why there are no men. They're fighting WW2. It's more a baby cult than a look.

[@ItsOKtobeNormal]

Or the gay agenda that worms its way into any kind of alternative aesthetic

[@Harley24986]

Wait… being a trad wife is harmful? Man, I need to rethink my whole life now…

[@djlivvy46]

There is nothing we can do about human nature, unfortunately. A lot of black girls love cottagecore, and there is now a black women in luxury movement which then spawned the soft life trend.

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

@@djlivvy46 There being people of color engaged in these aesthetics doesn’t mean they can’t be communicating racist ideas or other problematic ideas. We are often conditioned to view whatever white people highlight as important as aspirational, even if it can come at the expense of our own cultures or be degrading to others.

[@buffy0.0]

thank. you. its weird how we get anxious regarding clothes, and a look. insane to me. this eased me to know people are on the same page as me.

[@mandymarler7222]

Thank you so much for your excellent video. Back in January I started sewing (bear with me, I promise it ties in) and after the initial flourish and excitement, I realized that I needed to start getting more intentional about what I'm making. I love the creating and crafting but sewing, although a fantastic and useful hobby, isn't cheap and by just going off willy-nilly and making whatever my heart desired was really no different to walking into a fast fashion chain store and stocking up on stuff I'll wear a couple of times and throw out because I've grown bored with it. This led to me looking into sewing a capsule wardrobe for myself and some of the advice I'd read was to basically brainstorm, look at Pinterest, collect the looks you like - i.e. aesthetics - to get an idea of what your style is or what you're drawn to. So, over the last couple of weeks, instead of really honing in on what my me made wardrobe should include, I've been stuck in this terrible cycle of obsessing over all these aesthetics and then feeling down over the fact that as a woman in her late 40's, none of them could possibly work for me because I'm too old, which then makes me worry about what I can do to combat those pesky signs of ageing and on and on it goes. Despairing about this, I Googled why aesthetics seem to be targeted at young people only, which led me here. Your video has been the splash of cold water I needed to focus again on what really is important and that if I'm going to be more intentional about my sewing, then I have to put aside trying to shoehorn myself into some aesthetic niche that's Pinterest or Insta worthy. There's no reason why my handmade wardrobe can't encapsulate some of the influences of, say, dark academia, but I need to make sure that I am influencing how it fits into my life and clothing and not letting the aesthetic rule my life. Thank you again for putting this so eloquently even for an old fogy like me!

[@alkittie8]

This was a really great video. I'm 38, and I found myself wondering what my "aesthetic" was a few weeks ago, even though I didn't know that is it was called aesthetics (so thank you for identifying it!) I stay home and homeschool my kids, and this kind of life can be very romanticized on Pinterest, but I don't have the money to buy into an aesthetic because we live on a single income. But then I realized that I am living the life that many of these aesthetics want! For example, I live a pretty cottage core life (and I looove the cottage core look), and slow living, nontoxic, whole food, low screen, handicrafts, reading, nature walks, etc. are all my values. BUT, my life is just not as pretty and cohesive as people like to think. And that is ok.

[@nadew.02]

I've never related to a video more than this one. It always confused me how many aesthetics exist in social media and how far people go (especially in the west) to keep up with the aesthetic they want. To me it feels that people always try to put a label on themselves and on others and to force people to fit a certain mold, when most of these aesthetics where initially made so that people can express themselves freely. I'm sorry for any language mistakes. English isn't my mother tongue.

[@Kalivahcide]

I love how you touched on the financial creep that happens when you earn more money. I moved to a cheaper area and am paying half the amount of rent I used to. I live closer to work so I have to get gas less often. Instead of saving that extra money, I find that I spend it on things that really don't matter.

[@jupitersnoot4915]

You should sit down and take a look at what you spend it on every month and decide what you are happy to go without. Then, put that money that's no longer being spent on a useless thing into a savings account.

[@coffeeNiK]

Good video. Bucking the trends really comes down to just being aware that the trend(s) exist in the first place. When you start to see the patterns and the repetition, then you start to reclaim a little more control over which one is worth your time. Imo.

[@aelfredrex8354]

We had a word for this back in the day.... "fashion victims"

[@EmL-kg5gn]

That’s a good word! I’ve definitely been a fashion victim before

[@sarahthewierdo]

As an emo, these subcultures are nothing new, and they've been a counterculture of dressing and presenting for decades. To pin all of the newer subcultures on social media just feels wrong and not indicative of the big picture of how these aesthetic based subcultures arise.

[@lampyrisnoctiluca9904]

That thing actually existed for thousands of years at least. Maybe even since the humans were around, but there is very little evidence because things fall apart with time. In ancient Greece you could already tell a lot about someone who was rich enough not to wear hand-me-downs or second hand clothing just by looking at how they were dressed. What is definitely known about humanity as a whole is that we wish to express ourselves and our values with clothes, ornaments and the way in which we decorate our homes. It's also a way to tell others that we belong to a certain group of people. Even among those who try very hard not to attract the attention to themselves by trying to look as plain as possible, you can still tell a lot about them. Only the members of the certain strict religious groups and occupations that MOST all look the same don't have their personalities shown. And the kids of parents that don't let them choose their own clothes, but force them to wear what mommy likes instead... I was in this group until the age of 14 when 70% of my clothes magically disappeared overnight and I told mom I would never shop with her again because I was sick of seeing the nice clothes, but then she would always somehow find and buy the ugliest ones in the store instead because "she liked them more". I am now in my thirties and have still not forgotten the soul crushing feeling of sometimes being forced to wear pink in my teens. All I can tell is that this kind of parents also don't let their kids be themselves in so many other ways. This includes the music the kids listen must be the exact same music their parents do, the hobbies must be the ones that the parents have chosen for them and even having different opinions on the stupidest of topics is a big no-no.

[@sarahthewierdo]

@@lampyrisnoctiluca9904 Fully agree with your point. I was lucky enough to have a mother who was an og goth in the 80, and it didn't fully matter to her what I wore as I grew into an emo. I remember the few times she didn't let me wear things out of often what I knew were illogical or patriarchal reasons, and how school stifled a lot of how I felt I needed to look in order to feel like myself, and I remember how soul crushing that felt as well. I think kids should be treated as humans able to make their own decisions about how they want to express themselves and what subcultures they want to be apart of. As an adult I have a lot of gripes with systems and norms that were in place to prevent that when I was growing up.

[@lampyrisnoctiluca9904]

@@sarahthewierdo I agree. Humanity of children is so often ignored.

[@aidenhall8593]

This may not be the most groundbreaking take, but I really like the way you break it up and explain it using direct evidence. It gives me a new, more clear perspective on the topic.

[@angielorenacv]

Wow, you are so right. It's a marketing strategy I would guess. To create style categories and people can choose where to fit in, what group do they wanna be part of, etc.

[@Samuel-ku1qb]

I think aesthetics are good to an extent. I recently found myself returning to dark academia because for me it was something I felt so incredibly happy in, something that was like the 40’s preppy vibe my country-side envisioned a nice city to be like. Returning to dark academia knowing I’m autistic, dyslexic, and have adhd I don’t feel like going extreme. As a kid on the internet I was the either-or police and it made me lose my identity. Today I can look at an aesthetic without thinking about what is wrong and what is right. I love dark academia as it forced me to read more, forced me to slow down, to listen to calm music, and dress posh enough to balance out my dungarees and plaid shirts. And when you’re not making it your personality it’s quite nice to have curated aesthetics to pull from so you’re not wandering around until you hit something

[@user-ft7gs9xd5e]

Aesthetics are fine as long as you do it for yourself and you actually feel that aesthetic and it reflects your personality

[@UpBeatCpr]

I love that you made yourself vulnerable and relatable with the mustache trend 😅 totally forgot about that but yes definitely was a thing in the 2010s 😂

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

hahaha 2010s mustache culture needs to make a comeback!

[@npelehacs]

Great video, such an eye-opener! In addition, I think it was when the e-boy and e-girl trend came in, that things really started spiraling out of control.

[@averyhappywoman]

Thank you so much for the intelligent commentary. Tired of ridiculous trends fueled by social media. Just thank you.

[@ohhello937]

Have you covered anything about de-cluttering or starting over to fix past bad financial habits? I've been downsizing a lot of things I spent money on in the past that I didn't really use or need. Have made almost $2k this year just by selling old stuff then using the money for things I did need or could use.

[@thefinancialfreedomgirl]

ooh I haven't! I like the idea of doing something around the topic of decluttering

[@SusanDelRey]

I applaud some people's effort to box in and look exactly like everybody else, despite the fact that uniqueness is now embraced more than ever 😂

[@Unfinished_sentenc]

Thank you very much! Liked, subscribed and shared. My absolute favorite KZbin channel by far.

[@NikiAllen]

Thank You For This. It's a perspective that I never really thought about.

[@megiwpiegi773]

Personally, I got to the point on my 30s where i enjoy more declutering my house and getting rid of things rather than buying more items.

[@NiaG34]

Aesthetics have always existed it’s just more trendy now because of social media and everyone’s desire to be apart of something different. I think as long as it keeps that person happy and they aren’t making it a personality and going in debt over it, it’s not a big deal.

[@NiaG34]

@@aofmual ❤️❤️

[@jademartin4419]

I’ve always struggles with my aesthetic because I always felt like a contradiction to myself and I love aesthetic things I love things to be beautiful but there’s so many faucets of beauty that I’ve been trying to really remind myself that I don’t have to be just one thing I can just be me and do or buy what I need or like not just for the “aesthetic”. Great video it’s given me a lot to think about

[@artyom9499]

Thank you Cara. I absolutely love your videos.

[@scottg7321]

I heard the frog in boiling water analogy is wrong. If you put it boiling water it will be too injured to jump out but if you heat up the water it will jump out when it gets too hot

[@Teabazile]

It took me my life time to develop a "style" there's really no shortcut to finding your own voice. You try different trends, and styles you find interesting and then eventually- you find your favorites, your color palette, what makes you happy.

[@beebopadoo]

I just discovered your channel the other day and I've been watching a lot of your videos. Learned a bunch. You make really good, thought provoking content just so ya know

[@chaoswitch1974]

I'm so glad you're talking about it!