Let's Tie Up Some Lose Ends from My Last Dating Adventures

[@ellenbrogdon5073]

If you feel a spark (or fireworks) IMMEDIATELY that's usually not necessarily a sign of long term connection.

[@ShannonAlexis96]

I think that when evaluating a potential love match it's important to spend time with them in various different environments- go on hikes, visit a lake, take them to Disney -- and not just one on one the whole time, but casually introduce them to your friends and/or family and see how they gel with your life. There's only so much small talk someone can endure (asking about your day, what your interests are, etc.). But when you focus on shared experiences and bring other trusted people into the equation early on, not only do you get the benefit of honest third-party opinions on the match (BEFORE you're fully invested and don't want to hear any negativity), but you also have other people to act as a shield against the awkward pauses before you've gotten to the point that you're comfortable sitting in silence with them.

[@ashalia11]

Thank you for this advice!!

[@twiggyx12]

Girl, sometimes there is no spark like in the movies. It comes later 😌 When I first met my partner I wasn’t feeling the spark, 4 years later and we are happy together, loving and supporting each other

[@natalya8421]

Girl, I said it before but I’ll say it again - you do not owe anyone anything. You’re looking for your person. Don’t quit looking and don’t put so much energy into other people you barely know. I promise you they’re moving on while you’re worrying about what they think and feel and you don’t even like them like that! Your sensitivity and empathy is amazing but save your heart for the ones that earn it. Hard to do but you have to. Wishing you the best 💖

[@ashalia11]

🙌🏼 thank you!!

[@adventuresintvland]

It’s good you were honest with him; it’s better to know there isn’t something there than to be drug around. With that said, it is strange he didn’t offer any reply at all; not even an “ok” or “I understand?”

[@ashalia11]

That's what I'm saying! No reply is strange to me, not that I think he owes me anything, it just caught me off guard!

[@nadjap5218]

Awwww, I just watched this video right now! I'm so sorry that things ended in such a weird way! I can imagine how aweful it made you feel that he didn't respond! 😢 When I watched you talk about the situation, I really honestly got the impression that you really miss him! 😢 He sounds like a great guy! And I really got the feeling that you liked him a lot! But maybe you got a little overwhelmed with the situation and tried to get out before it got too serious too soon?? When it comes to sparks and magic and all those big feelings, I think they just start to come when you get more comfortable in the situation with each other! First dates are hard and conversations are hard the first few times because it's always awkward at first! But as you get to know somebody better, it gets more comfortable for everybody and I think that's the time where all the magic starts happening! Awwww, the situation sucks! But I feel like it's never too late to maybe contact him again if you really miss him! I think he would understand that you got scared and it maybe was too soon for you! But it's never too late for a second chance! But of course if I got the wrong impression and you are totally over him, it's totally fine to move on! Write me on Insta if you want to chat about it! Sending you lot's of hugs and good thoughts! 🫂🫂🫂

[@sjordan7085]

Get a pet, unconditional love and a lot less trouble!

[@sarah4326]

I do think there's something to be said for taking advice from people who have what you want. Like taking business advice from a successful businessman would be much more preferable than taking business advice from a thrice bankrupted 'entrepreneur'. So if you know people who are in healthy relationships, I'd be more inclined to listen to their advice than the long-term singles. Personally.

[@carolynj6144]

I think you did the right thing. I think that as women we’re taught that we are waiting for a man to choose us, so turning down a man who is nice but that we don’t feel right with can sometimes feel like we’re making the wrong choice. But I have been in a relationship where I really didn’t feel the spark for the guy in the beginning and I gave him a shot anyway (it lasted 3 years) and girrrrrrl it’s not worth it. I would say keep looking PLEASE lol

[@GenevaJculla15]

Maybe he just takes longer to warm up to people and then the conversation would flow mote

[@ellenbrogdon5073]

This is a shy guy, obviously. I'm out there trying to find "the one" too, and I promise you.. we cannot tell after 4 spaced out, awkardish dates. If you think this guy is super sweet and kind and apparently thoughtful, that's big. There are just not that many sweet thoughtful guys out there . Try not to judge too fast. He hasn't said anything because he's mortified. You will not know if it's right this fast. Nice will elude you if you jump to a conclusion. (elude US.. I'm with you and know what you're saying. Shy people need time.)

[@MrEhcks]

I love that a guy can be an actual decent person and treat you like gold but ain't good enough. Reminds me why trying to find someone is a complete waste of time. Thank you.

[@ashalia11]

Yes, those things are important and honestly should just be a standard on how you treat other people, but you shouldn't date someone just for that. If there is no communication and very little attraction/chemistry then you are doing both parties a disservice by continuing to date. Would you stay with a woman you really weren't connecting with just because she was nice to you?

[@MrEhcks]

@@ashalia11 sorry don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that guys should not make much effort. Don't be extra considerate, def do not make special plans or anything for her. If a woman is attracted to a guy he won't need to do anything. If she isn't attracted, nice gestures etc are creepy and give the ick.

[@aniamessara2574]

Got banned from hinge, and alternative site. Men are so entitled.. They can mention all sorts of things but God forbid you demand anything or just mention your standards oh no..

[@MsRandieK]

You stated over & over he’s so nice ! He’s moved on … it’s like you want validation that he’s upset that he’s not your person ! Move on !

[@somethinggood-sy1ed]

If you are socially awkward you can't judge him for being the same. You done messed up

[@Suki-bc1dv]

It’s really ok to let someone know how you feel without the implications of how they feel. Without being mean of course but you’re just trying to stay true to yourself!! 🫶