Matt Berry reads a truly brutal letter from Robert Crumb

Swedish jazz saxophonist Mats Gustafsson once sent some of his music to legendary illustrator and famed record collector Robert Crumb; Crumb, baffled, pulled no punches and responded with the brutally honest letter you will now hear. In 2014, in honour of this critique, Gustafsson named his next album ‘Torturing the Saxophone’, and proudly reprinted this letter amongst the liner notes.
At Letters Live at the Freemason's Hall in London, Matt Berry joined us to perform a hilarious reading of this letter.

[@Bowie_E]

I will listen to *anything* Matt Berry reads. I'd listen to him read Terms & Conditions and be happy and enthralled.

[@michaelteret4763]

I will listen to anything Robert Crumb writes.

[@LangstonDev]

"Third party confidentiality agrEEMEEENT!"

[@iggbowmon3171]

Brilliant! A great way for people to finally understand how those rapacious corporations are violating their rights. They'd quickly have a contract out on Matt's life, though.

[@Bobby3OOO]

Yes. We need a club! Has he ever done an audiobook?

[@brian32151867]

@@Bobby3OOO He did an audiobook called "Toast on Toast" which is over 4 hours (!) of him telling insane rambling anecdotes in character as Steven Toast. It's an absolute must!

[@LordlyJeremy]

"Am I a Squahre from De-la-whehre?" Matt Berry's diction defies transcription and it is magnificent.

[@bulletproofblouse]

Al Jah-zeee-raaahhh?

[@lukaszfilipiak]

@@bulletproofblouse someone been practi-sing 😅

[@PersonalPariah]

I thought he was from Arizonyaaaaa...

[@griffhawkins8909]

Fai-yah tha Noucleah weh-pawns

[@tmage23]

The man has made a nice career by adding syllables to words that shouldn't have them.

[@dg8620]

Apparently Mats Gustafsson named his next album "Torturing The Saxophone" in honor of Robert and pasted the letter in full on the album sleeve :)

[@mrbennbenn]

That's the best response 👏

[@theeternalnow6506]

This was absolutely brutal and hilarious. Good on Gustafsson for including it and naming his album that. That's just great.

[@poptones9619]

As a fan of Crumb, Berry and Gustafsson this feels like a weird fever dream.

[@davidm8657]

Ignorant of all three until this video and comment thread , I’ve been enriched with this. Thanks to all

[@avosmash2121]

That, or a 70's blues rock trio.

[@BodywiseMustard]

​@@avosmash2121'70s *

[@thegovernment0usa]

Is "Barry and Gustafsson" one party?

[@josephjohnston612]

​@@thegovernment0usa I believe Berry to be reading the letter, addressed to Gustafsson, in the voice of Crumb.

[@nustde00]

Matt Berry could read me my sentence to death for something I did not do and I would still smile a lot.

[@Archpope]

"It is, the summary ju-hudgement of this cohort, that you, Jarrrlaxule, are to be hang-ed, by thee neck... unteel dehead."

[@martinstent5339]

You've just gotta love both Robert Crumb for his honesty, and Mats Gustafsson for actually publishing the letter!! (I've been a Crumb fan since the 1970s. He is really my idea of everything a great artist should be!).

[@VuotoPneumaNN]

Your idea of an artist is a cranky pervert who draws racist caricatures of black people? (Please note I am a fan of Crumb too)

[@holidaytrout5174]

As a person who loves free jazz, I can totally understand this reaction to it.

[@briz1965]

someone went 'total Gustafsson' in the Bell Inn one Sunday in Notts.

[@pencilled_robin]

This made me laugh so hard! It's a brilliantly scathing letter, and Matt's intonation and comedic timing is perfection 😂

[@elizabethsime5751]

Thank you for this. Matt Berry has a magnificent speaking voice.

[@discomfortzone]

So good. Love Matt. He could read anything and it would be incredible

[@nivekian]

He's one of my favorite things about What We Do in the Shadows.

[@St.Linguini_of_Pesto]

My husband & myself _lovelovelove_ that series. I thoroughly enjoyed his character in IT Crowd.

[@ThunderboltWisdom]

BAT!🦇

[@Ducky69247]

He's that good in everything he does btw

[@AndyPresto75]

Matt Berry is always fantastic and while I'm not a big fan of jazz, Mr Crumb does seem like a square from Delaware. Even so, I'm very glad that he chose to share his thoughts in such a forthright manner, however the real hero is Mr Gustafson for hilariously bringing the letter to public attention.

[@Robinson8491]

Matt Berry could be the love of my life's attorney reading the divorce papers and I would still be delighted

[@Wileylikethehawk]

Victoria! You’re alive!

[@jaredkennedy6576]

That's it, April. We are through.

[@MZ99698]

😂😂😂

[@Robinson8491]

I thought you were from Iran?!

[@bigbrian8060]

Crumb is such a character. You should watch his documentary, honestly scary.

[@dianajohnson83]

Was, I believe he's 'no more'

[@LordlyJeremy]

@@dianajohnson83 Not yet - he's still around at 79

[@LittleCozyNostril]

If you want a deep dive into the Crummy-verse you should check out my show, CANONICALLY CRUMB.

[@Celestialnavigator-nr6sb]

As soon as I think of the doc, I remember his brother swallowing the string. Yikes

[@grazstarr]

Which one? Remember what it’s called?

[@jamesrjohanniii774]

Every character he voices over is hilarious. I love animation with his voice.

[@jumbo4billion]

Beautiful

[@bazeye]

I just listened to some Gustaffson and Crumb was spot on.

[@phlogistanjones2722]

Oh my... He was quite correct in my estimation. QUITE beyond me I fear...

[@GuppyCzar]

Horrible crap pretentious jazz fans try to convince people they enjoy because they think it makes them sound worldly.

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

Art is subjective and music really shows that.

[@fododude]

I hear Crumb's voice in my head as he reads and it's even more funny.

[@JDNicoll]

Lol. I just went and listened to a piece of Gustafsson's music. It sounded like swimming through a bowel movement. This letter seems to be on point.

[@BeesWaxMinder]

I need to hear this stuff!!!

[@nikkyboy1067]

Berries? Crumbs? These men are for the birds!

[@maydaymemer4660]

Thats very Normesque

[@nikkyboy1067]

@@maydaymemer4660 Rodney actually

[@jorriffhdhtrsegg]

Matt berry, like when you walk under a cherry tree and have to clean the doormat because they got trod in. Robert Crumb when you're mate Robert can't handle his biscuit

[@jorriffhdhtrsegg]

@@maydaymemer4660 possibly Saxon in origin

[@maydaymemer4660]

@@nikkyboy1067 ah and norm is very rodneyesque so it's like a circle of inspiration

[@if6was929]

Matt Berry's sonorous voice is in the same class of great orators like Orson Wells, Sir Alec Guinness and Sir Richard Burton, regardless of what they're saying, its always interesting.

[@soggyfritter]

I would love to see Matt Berry play Orson Welles. I loved Liv Schreiber but Berry is just... Something else.

[@davidlloyd3116]

Playing the CEO Rheinhold in The IT Crowd - brilliant!

[@kristianTV1974]

*Reynholm

[@nodroGnotlrahC]

Now I want to hear some Mats Gustafsson.

[@gringochucha]

Believe me, you don't.

[@Aphasiesc2]

@@gringochucha This reading was pure pleasure! Crumb, Gustafsson and Berry meets on common ground. Gringo, you're plain wrong. Sure it's not for everybody, but free jazz isn't necessarily supposed to be that. Try this one on for size, a delicate piece from Fire! Orchestra, one of his bands anno 2017. Beautiful! kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYOcg5WaiZx0laM&ab_channel=Fire%21Orchestra-Topic

[@GuppyCzar]

You should, you'll have a few words to add to Crumb's assessment.

[@littlebylittle1686]

"There's somebody at the door. There's somebody at the door. There's somebody at the door"

[@BluPotato]

I coulod listen to Matt Berry all day

[@pablozewoppa]

Thing is - as someone who doesn't play the sax - I'd take this from Robert Crumb. I'd carry on playing exactly the way I was playing.

[@vijaynair2403]

Matt Berry could read my eulogy and I’d love it. Oh wait!

[@baiwatch1]

Crumb acting as if he hasn't hated the current state of jazz music, all music, and popular culture since the 1960s.

[@lancebaldock6233]

Made my day

[@emmanuelwolfmusic410]

Roberts honesty is amazingly good.

[@NitroModelsAndComics]

If I may quote Nathan Explosion. "That was completely brutal."

[@josephgambrell1715]

I don't know if it's just me but just clicked the like button...and to my shock the like button just had a level up and had a psychedelic experience try it ya self👌

[@reesekindle4784]

Glob Bless Matt Berry.

[@saeedgnu]

This is how I feel about metal music, and *most* rock music.

[@shedtime_au]

When you're too weird for Robert Crumb, you're really Out There.

[@roddmatsui3554]

This is funny material. Fan of Crumb’s work since the old days.

[@vestibulate]

The only question I have is why Mats Gustafsson thought his music might be of interest to Robert Crumb. Anyone familiar with the cartoonist's preferences- and they've been comprehensively aired- would have known that his tastes are restricted to old 78s of 1920s dance-band and vaudeville style material, along with some 1930s country blues recordings. Incidentally, I've just been listening online here to "Defeat", a 2021 album by a band called "Fire!" which features Gustafsson on a variety of instruments. Have only heard the first track thus far, but am enjoying it.

[@davehamilton-smith9460]

Yep, Fire! are pretty great.

[@krashd]

I'm guessing he wanted to commission Robert to do some work for an album cover or something like that and sent a bunch of his music to see if he liked it.

[@vestibulate]

@@krashd That's the only reason I can see, now that you mention it. By the way, Crumb did the cover art for Cheap Thrills, the Big Brother album, while openly disavowing their music and the entire setting that spawned it.

[@heimdal8]

Maybe he confused Crumb with Harvey Pekar? Pekar has a well known interest in Jazz. However Pekar doesn’t draw his comics - he only writes - so there couldn’t have been a question about comission.

[@actualturtle2421]

Hasil Adkins used to send a copy of every record he put out to the President. I think he got letters from Reagan and Clinton. Might as well, right?

[@shaftpunk84]

I love both Gustafsson and Crumb and think this was hilarious.

[@TheBluemindedGod]

I tried to google some of his music, but from what I can find, I'm on Crumb's side. Do you have any recommendations?

[@MartijnterHaar]

@@TheBluemindedGod Neneh Cherry & The Thing - The Cherry Thing is a good entry point to his music (The Thing is a trio with Gustafsson).

[@richbrock9876]

Captured my thoughts on most jazz perfectly

[@aaronjaben7913]

that's too bad. Gustafsson is nothing like Charlie Parker, for example

[@thepuppethead1188]

Familiar with R. Crumb's work? What other opinions of his do you find agreeable? Because most of them are as agreeable as "all jazz is noise",he's a thoughtful guy with real keen sensibilities so agreeing with him is only natural. Especially the one comic about finding a lady bigfoot in the woods and taming it as a wife for the express purpose of man-gigantic-ape-lady love making. I've had that exact fantasy myself countless times! second only to the one about finding the corpse of a beautiful woman and then...well you know the rest! I make love to the woman! the dead woman!

[@toctheyounger]

Matt Berry could read an imaging report describing a terminal cancer diagnosis for myself and I would be delighted and die happy.

[@deandupont5503]

After hearing this, I had to hear the music. The album 'How to Raise an Ox' is now near the front of my playlist.

[@opeltheartist]

Im gonna go listen to this album immediately 😆

[@planetzebulon21]

Zappa said, “writing about music is like dancing about architecture “. And your vigor for life appalles me, also, Mr Crumb

[@Pouncer9000]

Appeals or appals?

[@planetzebulon21]

That would be appalls.

[@Pouncer9000]

@@planetzebulon21 Well _I_ knew that of course, I was merely asking on behalf of those who might've been confused. Glad we cleared that up!

[@chrisktcpt1252]

Steve Martin

[@KenLieck]

Jimmy Webb, who ought to know attributes the "dancing about architecture" line to Martin Mull. My own research leads me to concur.

[@petertaysum5563]

I once watched/listened to Lol Coxhill play for an hour or so, 24 hours later he was still going. I didn't get it, but I liked it.

[@claudio130]

Master Berry!

[@latetotheparty184]

He's right too about modern jazz. Chaotic tortured incomprehensible noises.

[@hoki3697]

Hilarious but quite mean critique I thought, then I actually listened to it... it's pretty much spot on.

[@greenvelvet]

This perfectly sums up my feelings about John Mayer's music

[@Peter-ff1tp]

How edgy.

[@georgebailey9238]

I met Crumb a couple of times, he and his wife Aline used to live in Winters which is next door to Davis where I went for undergrad. Crumb seems like he's very uncomfortable in his own body. I grew up reading his comics and love him even though he's very politically incorrect for our current era.

[@AndrewOxenburgh]

Not just our current era. He wasn't necessarily loved back then either. I love his work, but it's always been challenging.

[@oz_jones]

@@AndrewOxenburgh crumb is a character alright. Read his comics in high school, i think i should reread them soonish, its been 20+ years

[@BlackMasterRoshi]

I read my dad's crumb comics as a kid and loved the offensive humor

[@krashd]

Ahh, Winters and Davis, such well known global cities.

[@georgebailey9238]

@@krashd UC Davis is a top ranked school in central California. I figured Crumb fans would know what I was talking about because a lot of the 80s comix, Weirdo stories and the ones he did with Aline are set in Winters and reference Davis.

[@irmese06]

It’s ... eerie how well the algorithm *gets* me

[@Nick.t.S]

This man can make anything poetry with the audible chocolate that is his voice.

[@sushobhanparajuli6010]

After listening to his music, I agree that Crumb was right.

[@gringochucha]

Yup, I'm with Crumb on this one.

[@wutsein]

Robert Crumb said nothing wrong.

[@mk1st]

“This noise” 😂😅😂

[@MrShanester117]

“I’m Douglas Renham and I’m not a scientist, but I do have a better understanding of what space is then any scientist living today.”

[@gordondean9189]

Curse these electric sex pants

[@nepdisc3722]

I found a video of Mats Gustafsson and immediately regretted clicking it, this letter is absolutely right.

[@Stevofaves]

the idea of crumb criticizing a work of art for being aesthetically unappealing is hilarious

[@judydoyle1124]

Yes! This is exactly what I thought too! Utter hilarity

[@crs290]

Unintentional irony.

[@jacquestube]

Well two things can be true at the same time, one Rob Crum is an amazing illustrator/comic artist and most modern art most Contemporary Art is garbage. Those are two true statements

[@ferretyluv]

Dude makes comix, which have a distinctive style.

[@cwegers3]

Crumb is a genius . Sorry you can't see that .

[@RickReasonnz]

Had to search Mats Gustafsson for reference. Torturing the Saxophone is indeed an apt title.

[@MacIntoshMann]

love r crumb! if you get the chance, check out the documentary “crumb” about him and his brothers. very funny and very sad.

[@Alpine_Joe]

Being unfamiliar with Gustafsson I had to check him out for myself having heard this evisceration of his music. To be fair I think Crumb was more complementary than I'd have been. Nah ... it's not for me either.

[@DanJackson1977]

Negative Unpleasent Experience... kinda like looking at any of Crumb's cartoons

[@douchymcdouche169]

I hardly recognized him without the fangs.

[@vjcodec]

Steven this is Clem Fandango can you hear me?

[@angeladawn805]

I love this man's voice, he reminds me of James Mason

[@phlogistanjones2722]

"Free Jazz" it is styled... I confess not even free would tempt me to listen to Mats again. i can only imagine it is the sound that the worshipers of Yog-Sothoth would utilize for their lamentations.

[@DursunX]

Toast personified 🍞 berry Berry good

[@sonnyalan9605]

This is exactly what I say about the modern jazz saxophone.

[@VuotoPneumaNN]

You're a square from Delaware, a Hick from Battle Creek, a Schmuck from Mount Keokuk.

[@toratio8547]

"Am I square from Dela-ware?" So so good

[@ShiceSquad]

I know the feeling. And I must confess, I do sit there politely and pretend to dig it, lest it come to light that I am nothing but a square from Delaware.

[@calstonjew]

"FATHERRR!!!"

[@jeremysteinmark2845]

“Am I square from Delaware” I got to use that line sometimes

[@jordanfaydherbe7394]

You are now reading every comment, in Matt Berry's voice.

[@chrisrynn1]

I'm with Crumb on this

[@sagecolvard9644]

"That this noise could give anyone any aesthetic pleasure is beyond my comprehension" You've heard of manmade horrors beyond your comprehension, now get ready for manmade pleasures beyond your comprehension!

[@flux.aeterna]

Any cenobite worth their salt would argue they’re the same

[@snailduck]

@@flux.aeterna I love this comment so much.

[@plusRpm]

Still the best speaking voice i have ever heard

[@deathisaprimitiveconcept]

Bubbles the Dolphin! Thought i recognised the voice 😂

[@TooSmalley]

Robert Crumb is a perfect manic

[@honzo1078]

I'm on Team Crumb here. However, Matt Berry's performance is exquisite.

[@TheDexterReflector]

Matt Berry would have been perfect as a member of Monty Python. 🐍

[@briz1965]

Huge fan of Crumb & Berry, sounds like an ice-cream.

[@catherinespark]

So the thing is...if you write a really amazing letter you have to genuinely think the person's work is really AMAZING or you're a suck-up. And if you do write that letter, they may well ignore and forget or worse still disbelieve all your praise and STILL get fixated on stuff that MIGHT be wrong if someone else is even SLIGHTLY critical about any aspect. And if you ARE that person who is slightly critical, you may give cause anxiety and insecurity for years. But if you're straight-up so brutal that the brutality becomes its own art form...well, that can be funny and easy to let slide off because it's so obviously out of all objectively credible proportion to the thing being slated, since it would be almost impossible for anything to be quite that bad unless it had some kind of major moral distortion or something. So in a sense, a letter like this maybe hurts less than one which pulls each bit apart scathingly and analytically. As Roald Dahl's Matilda says, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it."

[@peabody3000]

if crumb's comics had a soundtrack, it would precisely be gustafsson's saxophone

[@sg639]

Re: Sean H: No. Crumb's soundtrack would be Primus.

[@mycatlikescheese8090]

I know what jazz maverick Howard Moon would say. “This is a travesty, Sir”

[@kariburns6682]

❤

[@Jnahumphreys]

Father!!! ✊

[@aaronjaben7913]

I concur

[@TheDarrenJones]

I just made the mistake of listening to some Mats Gustafsson after hearing this letter. I concur entirely with Mr Crumb's opinion.

[@donaldasayers]

I was moved to go and find KZbin videos of Mats Gustafsson and I am forced to agree with Robert Crumb. I listened to about 30 seconds before I gave up.

[@RFC-3514]

Gets really good at 32 seconds.

[@jessehickman668]

This man’s voice was created for a ‘lifestyle’s of the rich and famous’ reboot. Such an iconic voice. Funny AF to boot!

[@PanzerMold]

"--With a great sense of humor."

[@xx3920]

I absolutely adore Matt Berry's voice ( it's actually quite sexy lol 😀 )

[@pretorious700]

I would love a text transcript of this letter. I know some jazz poseurs I would love to send it to.

[@ErwinPommel]

Here's the full text, as included in the liner notes of Mats Gustafsson's next album, titled "Torturing the Saxophone": I finally gave a listen to those LPs and the CD you sent me, of your own saxophone playing and some Swedish modern jazz. I gotta tell you, on the cover of the CD of your sax playing, which is black and has no text on it, I wrote in large block letters, in silver ink, “Torturing The saxophone-Mats Gustafsson.” I just totally fail to find anything enjoyable about this, or to see what this has to do with music as I understand it, or what in God´s name is going on in your head that you want to make such noises on a musical instrument. Quite frankly, I was kind of shocked at what a negative, unpleasant experience it was, listening to it. I had to take it off long before it reached the end. I just don´t get it. I don’t understand what it is about. You actually go on TOUR with that stuff. WOW. People actually… sit… and… LISTEN… to that. I mean, they voluntarily go to the place, maybe even PAY… PAY to hear that stuff. And then they sit there, quietly, politely… and LISTEN. Unbelievable. I should go myself sometime and see this. Witness it with my own eyes. I don´t say these things with the intention to insult you. You seem to be a perfectly nice, civilized guy with a good sense of humor. I am speaking the plain truth of my reaction to the records and CD you sent. That this noise could give anyone any aesthetic pleasure is beyond my comprehension, truly. Is this the logical end of improvisational music? Is this where it ends up? Where does it go from this point? Is there any audience for this “free jazz” besides other guys who play it and maybe their wives who must patiently endure it? I just don´t get it. Am I too un-hip? Am I a square from Delaware? A thick from Battle Crick? A shmuck from Keokuck? -R. Crumb

[@pillettadoinswartsh4974]

If you thought this was particularly strident, go read Harvey Pekar's assessment.

[@fryewerk]

Pretty much Miles Davis’s assessment of Ornette Coleman as I recall. Free jazz seems like an inside joke of some sort.

[@Aircool212]

I searched for Mats Gustafsson on youtube; My conclusion is that 'Torturing the Saxaphone' should have been called 'Torturing the Balloon Animals;.

[@nofishtoday]

His voice alone makes me laugh. He could read the Bible and I’d laugh

[@davidhull1481]

Well, Crumb would know. He grew up in Delaware, from age 12 on.

[@CTSpeed413]

Why do I want to hear the album? 😂😂😂

[@BaldursPicketFence]

Protect this man at all cost! If there’s an asteroid careening towards earth and we can only save some people, save Matt Berry.

[@JonSmith-cx7gr]

If we could somehow mate him with Joanna Lumley so that lovely voiced children might be the result.