Letting Go. (How To Let Go Of Bad Baggage And Heal)

[@PeacefullyMarie]

I totally just cried all these psychologists that couldn't help me I always felt I couldn't explain then I come here and you literally lay my whole life out diagnose me and point me to find my cure naturally...where is the donate page... this man is amazing.

[@mysterym444]

Ditto!

[@vickibarker8658]

I have just found this video of Richard’s and I completely agree with you. He is amazing. I have been in therapy for years and nobody has explained it like this. Thank you from the heart.

[@bridgitteplappert1406]

You said it perfectly. I can’t express it and wow he does it so easily. ♥️👍🏼🙏

[@patriciagriffin1505]

Enjoy the pace of your videos and that you have gotten thru some difficulty issues yourself

[@lollic307]

Same. I have to wonder if they string us along for money

[@sebastianhelm1718]

Im so glad you exist

[@bloomuniversal]

Me too

[@strukled8590]

My thoughts as well! If only there would be more people who ..simply get it.... like he does!

[@kleomenis456]

So am I.

[@PolarIre]

Yeah.

[@katherinehoverson3985]

Me too. Exactly

[@rosebrandenburg7]

OMG--when you said that people who endure this kind of abuse become the philosopher or psychoanalyst I just stopped. I just realized I totally do that all the time. Rather than removing myself from the person, or simply realizing that behavior is wrong, I psychoanalyze!

[@conniethecactus5148]

Dark Seraphim. Same here. Can't seem to get enough knowledge or write enough poetry !

[@zeedo666]

This was indeed eye-opening. I actually know a coach (sic!) who has disowned certain feelings and then bulit his life in such a way to justify his new life philosophy. He did it to the point that he became a fuckin coach telling people now that feelings are for idiots! His web of lies is so huge (he gets a lot of confirmation that he's right) that he cannot see he's in denial.

[@carolynjanes7505]

Same here.

[@corsicanlulu]

thats me to a T. and i also feel like im another person looking at my suffering self and analyzing her all the time

[@Omarra67]

I actually had a psychologist tell me once, "We don't get into this field by accident".

[@joanneedwards6866]

Richard that was awesome. I am in my sixties and all this complex trauma stuff is like a runaway train. So many feelings have been stuffed down. Three months ago my dad died, he died fighting to live. He was an absolute tormentor to me all my life. Two weeks before he went he was abusing me verbally and l told him " I'm not going to put up with your verbal abuse anymore". I left the family home and it was the first time l never cried. I am finding it hard to cry over his departure, l feel relieved because he can't hurt me anymore. But theres a lot of stuff to work through. Thankyou for the work you do. I love your quirkiness it makes this stuff more palatable if that makes sense. sense.

[@adaku75]

I use to feel bad about feeling bad. Now, I just feel bad. I know you understand my speak. You have played a role in my healing. Thank you for your intelligence, honesty, and integrity. This was a great video.

[@diatonicjon]

Thank you for this comment...

[@daviedood2503]

This was 6 years ago, how are you now days in 2021 / close to 2022 in a few weeks. I hope u have a great new years and a better future

[@LauraFloeckher]

I actually did this last week. I was getting so depressed I decided to write down how he has made me feel. I also want those feelings to remind me to maintain no contact and to NOT let him make me feel obligated to talk to or see him. It really is amazing how much better I feel, though still am hyper vigilant and get quite anxious and jumpy. I look at, and add to, those words every day - and will for a while. I know you made this video a while back, but I just viewed it today. Thank you for validating my feelings to do this!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Laura Floeckher,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@gabrielamcconnell9929]

What I have recently noticed about the toxic people around me is a correlation between how they process strong emotions that are perceived as negative and or painful. What I see is that a toxic person can't accept feeling angry, cross, frustrated, annoyed etc, and process it internally. They have to DUMP the emotion by making the cause of the emotion someone else's FAULT ! Even if it is absolutely not another persons fault, they have to blame someone or some thing so they can avoid facing the fact that we are all feelings driven creatures and deal with those feelings in such a way that you HURT NO OTHER !

[@vickibarker8658]

This has resonated with me in a very deep way. It’s funny how you can hear things and not really understand them until you hear them for the 83rd time and....THEN.... understand them in a really profound way. This has been my 83rd time of hearing this. Thank you.

[@gumba12]

Far too many people blame someone else for their fucked up lives 👍

[@GrahamMilkdrop]

And, unfortunately, they look for the safest place to crash instead of directing it towards the cause which means that far too many people end up on the receiving end of anger which has nothing to do with them and they, in turn, come to believe that all anger is bad and unjustified.

[@gabrielamcconnell9929]

Vicki Barker dear vicki thank you so much for your lovely reply, l know exactly what you mean. It feels like all the 82 times you hear what is being explained and connect with it and see the logic of it, but not until the 83 rd time you hear it do you fuse with it and know that it is truth. Not sure what causes the shift, but from being the young child of a vindictive narc mum and then growing up and marrying a narc, l knew in my heart that these people were not well, or good human beings ! It took until I was 53/54 to start to really understand with the whole of my being that what l had suspected all my life was true, was actually true. Maybe the lies and propaganda that we have been fed as children, finally gets seen for what it is, lies. A narc will constantly tell you that you are crap and that they are the bees knees, but of course in doing so they show themselves to be evil people because a loving, genuinely kind ,caring and emphatic person would not behave like that. Good human beings love and honour others, not just themselves. Many thanks 😊🌺🌈Gabby

[@aaailicec]

Feel the feelings, drop the story.

[@JCDadalus]

Bro, I don't have low level anxiety, I have a severe case of anxiety, and it's gotten worse and worse. I joined the Navy hoping to make myself stronger, but I realized I made myself weaker. I've been seeking help and you literally explained my life in your video. I do need to heal.

[@DrPeterMarsh]

I'm impacted similarly, It a pretty big unexpected plot twist.....

[@reikocool1]

One thing you don't do is join the navy if you have severe cases of anxiety. If you cannot handle it at least.

[@faith3305]

It's great you came to this realization. You'll definitely become stronger now in the most authentic sense. Hope things get better for you

[@janeepooley]

You probably need a psychiatrist and medication rather than a psychologist then.

[@DimljenaRiba]

jane what makes you the fucking expert in anxiety disorders? And by the way, what any reasonable psychiatrist is gonna tell you is that meds are nothing more than a crutch. They are ment to soften the transitional period for healing. It’s just that some people are so afraid to let go of the past that healing takes very long. Everyone decides for them self which path he is going to take. Don’t stick cliches and labels onto people.

[@emmaa.a68]

You just gave me the keyes to the shed of rotten locked away memories. I'm holding the key and standing at the door. Very close. Eventhough I'm scared - terrified - to open it and walk in alone. I will. Wish me luck 💖

[@carolhenning8001]

"Who you are will be told to you not by what you're thinking but by what you're feeling." EXCELLENT advice. Thank you.

[@TheSingingVocologist]

I’m overwhelmed with emotion right now. I’ve been praying, no begging, for spirit to help me, show me how to help myself, and there you were at the top of my KZbin feed. After watching several of your videos, I have some hope again. Your teachings are exactly what the entire world needs right now. So many people are stuck in pain, with no hope. Thank you. So grateful I found you. You probably won’t see this comment, but I hope by writing it, it gets to you through spirit. 🙏❤️

[@bvaliant4him]

O. M. G.!!!! Narcissists are how we heal from our disassociative disorder! It's how we RECONNECT to what we feel! We can't love or give without understanding our OWN feelings. From conviction comes MEANING, the dimensionality and depth of our souls! Our OWN pain is what opens UP our hearts!

[@aura.i.martin3958]

Omg! I love this guy. Are you single? Lol! I spent an entire day listening to you and still cant get enough. Keep up the great work.

[@julieannmaloney7187]

Aura .I. Martin ummm why did you ask if he is single he is teaching about very serious trauma and how to feel the pain and walk through it get stronger and move forward with your life Why Some Women have to act so stupid Makes the rest of us look like airheads

[@michelleparks233]

Yeah, he's single Babygirl, he has a history of fling up his relationships so he decided to work on himself. But I agree with you he is a Good Looking guy, but he's not shallow. He is really Deep! And makes a lot of since!

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

@@julieannmaloney7187 Jesus, do you actually not see your words as damaged/damaging, repressive, emotophobic shame? Good news; they're an excellent reference point for your own psychotherapy! Chin up Aura :-)

[@coffeewoffee]

I thought that was a compliment???

[@faith3305]

Don't worry about@@julieannmaloney7187 ...She projected her own problems onto you and is your typical troll. Keep being you Aura 👍

[@sophiakh9590]

I am safe, I am healing. I can get in touch with my emotions even if I've just started.

[@sophiakh9590]

I wish I had more people who care and stay in my life.

[@liznorth4028]

@@sophiakh9590 i did so i believe you will too..as the false in us lessens, false "friends" fall away... 💕

[@jogriffiths5766]

@@liznorth4028 Blimey!! That IS true. I gave up 1 other 'toxic', controlling busybody friend recently. Lovely and peaceful here without 5 phone calls per day!!

[@justinhansen7384]

Wow, I never realized how much I evade my emotions. I literally took some college philosophy classes and I just realized that my search of philosophical truth was ironically an evasion of personal honesty. It kind of hurts, to realize you have been killing a part of yourself.

[@caniam108]

My Lord ! How refreshing! Thought I was going to say something else did you? No really, I have been watching about 90 hours of you so far and I want to thank you ~ Thank You ~ I can breathe more deeply when I listen to you because I am listening to someone whom is not only knowledgeable, experienced, yet also real, funny and most of all honest right in front of me, every moment responsive to self and not hiding, Raw and Real. I feel my physiology rewiring to a certain degree as the images and sounds wash over me.as I feel safe, confident an engaged with what and how you put it all out there. Again thank you brother~

[@TheaGroom]

That is so true. The main thing I kept SAYING when I broke was; "IS IT OKAY with everyone that I am allowed to BE human just ONCE? Because I'm NOT A ROBOT, I am human" I was feeling real emotion. I could NO LONGER hide it.. It was overflowing. That was AFTER; I came out of the NUMB ZONE or the DEAD ZONE.. I cried.. I felt overwhelmed.. I hated it that people kept saying "oh you're so strong" I SCREAMED when I heard that word.. Why wouldn't they ALLOW me to BE HUMAN FOR ONCE, it just was NOT acceptable? This is such a cruel thing everyone did to me. No one came over. I was so overwhelmed with grief; pain; hurt; injustice feelings; let down by all, my hard work - yet all I'd helped were oblivious - no one cared nor came to help. The ones that did have a "say" were OPINIONATED but from a position of NO knowledge., they didn'tI ask they JUST TOLD ME WHAT I ought DO OR FEEL BASED on their belief OR thought BUT NOT FROM THEIR EXPERIENCE. This made me more upset that I must have BEEN th

[@GrahamMilkdrop]

We get told what to feel by people who don't feel and told what to think by people who don't think

[@naida6958]

Exactly

[@nkley1]

I often wondered over the years, why I would have a knee-jerk reaction, mostly when I am alone, when I am watching any movie, TV commercial, reading a book, or situations that have nothing to do with me BUT pulls at the heartstrings, or are very touching to the soul that they would make me cry uncontrollably. I even went to a funeral of an acquaintance -- a man I barely knew, but once I saw his body in the casket they had to remove me from the funeral parlor, as I could not control my crying. I could barely breath. C-PTSD has my picture next to it. I have stumbled upon your videos and have now subscribed, as you have been the only one with any answers to what is going on with me under all the bullshit. I am tired of therapists, doctors, or anyone with an opinion telling me that it's "just a feeling", or "why do you always need an answer". Well, whaddayou know,?!?! You have explained me and my situation in so many of your videos, especially with all the incidents in my life that are too many to list here, but certainly explain how fucked up I am....and I am the strong one in the family -- always keeping it together, always fixing everything, and always, always the one with the quick-witted sense of humor and happiness. Yet my toxic, narcissistic, extended evil family -- that I love, but have SO DISAPPOINTED ME, therefore, I hate to be around them, have trained me to have my true emotions haunting me, just barely skimming the surface wanting to come out, but NO, I must always be in control. This has been damaging to me where as much as I may feel tears coming on, I also can feel just as much rage coming on -- in some incidents -- uncontrollable rage, where the "family" wonders why I behave the way I do (as if I am the problem when I have an outburst). At your suggestion in this video to 'feel what I am feeling right now' immediately made me feel sadness, rage, and heartache, and to bring on the tears, which I fully expected, but I can turn it off and "stand at attention" as soon as someone comes in the room, the phone rings, or someone needs me -- and all with a smile on my face. PS -- Flashbacks have been a regular thing, all my life. I just have become a professional at distracting myself to suppress them. Bravo SpartanLifeCoach, you are a blessing to so many of us.

[@serenarossi8480]

Lady, you are describing my life .:')

[@hermesconrad9526]

Thritto.

[@lorrainegouland1905]

Nancy Beth fourtto

[@conniethecactus5148]

Same. Numb after the toxic clown.

[@gigis.6998]

Nancy Beth you just described me

[@saraliburd7752]

Richard Grannon….I feel extremely fortunate to have discovered you….not even joking….incredible incredible work

[@rhvolmer]

Very good video Richard. This and the rest of your videos have been so helpful in helping me heal from past narcissitic abuse from my former husband, a friend, and more than one close relative. I started following your channel shortly after my drug addicted narcissistic brother finally went into rehab for about the 10th time (He's 50). This was after almost 6 months of him living in my house because he needed help getting back on his feet after being kicked out of his former living and working situation. He gets government assistance for being disabled. It was only supposed to be for a month because he was waiting for a bed in a rehab center. This all happens within months after I started a new job and my grandmother passing away. By the time I begged the rehab center to accept him I was mad as hell that I couldn't take a leave from my job and check into a treatment center or spa for 2-3 months myself. I had even called a few places to inquire and decided I couldn't afford the cost of treatment plus having to take an unpaid leave from work. Plus I didn't know if it would work. I have been to many counselors over the course of about 20 years and was still being abused. My brother was actually kicked out of the treatment center before his "free" 3 months were up for verbally assualting a center employee. Of course, he came right back with another sob story but I was better prepared and finally stood my ground. It was because of what I have realized about myself from watching your videos. I am still struggling with handling the intensity of my emotions (sometimes the anxiety and anger are overwhelming) and I still want to check out for awhile sometimes. I just want to thank you for teaching me to call abuse what it is-abuse, end relationships where needed, and try to heal and move on to greener pastures. You do great work!! Thanks so much!

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Holli Volmer,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@suzannemorrow9987]

Richard , I have searched all my life for healing & to get back to the rare “peace of mind” “ serene” me. Found you while listen info to Utube vids in Narc Abuse Co dep . PTSD ... Your videos so far have rung loud and true to my tired , lonely , desperate, scared, doubtful , losing my grasp , me. I have been seeing one on the “LifeCoaches / Therapists “ you described! Every week !! Was to the point that I did not care to go.., now canceling tomorrow’s session. She has if anything just made $ off of me. Nothing I had not read or heard .... I will now Feel My Feelings. So very much , haywire in my life . So very much ... years of tears, ups & downs . My physical me, is at risk now... stopped Living what was not my life anyway... I am READY to , get on with MY LIFE! Going to find all you have instructed. , to find the Program Processing my Emotions, .. Thank you. I love me. Not this me “ they want me to be” xo oh and , I really love your witty humor . Your doing great! Real and funny . .

[@Spudcore]

I love the dead salesmen metaphor. That's a very darkly funny mental image.

[@juntjoonunya9216]

Adam Power where? Long video

[@starlingswallow]

"The demons behind a locked door sound a lot scarier than they are". AMEN. Emotional healing sounds soooooo daunting. It's hard work but soooooo worth it!!! If you dive right in its amazing the things you'll find! ❤️ praying anyone who reads this will take the leap into their emotional healing and know it won't kill them. STUFFING EMOTIONS is what kills..... ❤️ God bless you Richard. God bless all of you!

[@ttrev007]

I am an extremely good at analyzing, i suspect your right. I try to understand other people so that i don't have to feel as much. If i understand why they did something to me then i can focus on that and not how i feel about what they did. I avoid situations so that i don't have to risk anything. Unfortunately i miss out on a lot of life because of this. I'll try asking myself how i fell.

[@linnmusic]

Thank you for talking about the importance of feeling your feelings. It also reminded me of a somatic experiencing exercise where you hold one hand on the chest and one on the solar plexus and repeating the feeling out loud 6 times, for instance: "my body feels sad". And then pausing. And repeating six times: "it's ok that my body feels sad". This has helped me so much to get into the body and feel the feeling fully.

[@universesurrounds2934]

Thanks again for your insight. I felt understood and validated throughout the whole video. This technique combined with journaling should do some justice.

[@deborahkahlmeier8814]

I listened to this a few months back and gleaned valuable information. I listened to this again now and received life-saving understanding about my own emotions, and what happened to them. It is like you are drawing me a synopsis of my own emotional pathology.

[@englishroberts7419]

Heaven must be a place where everybody telepathically knows your boundaries and always respects them without struggle

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

English Roberts,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

[@bridgitteplappert1406]

First moment he said feelings my brain and body started a flight mode . But I stayed and listened 👍🏼

[@trivabean8835]

Currently feel sadness and lots of crying.When I think of my deceased parents,loss of my deceased brothers (5) my guardian angels.Retired,60+ and fear of being alone.Especially now around the holidays....Is there any hope for me..... peace

[@lisavaden9903]

I feel the same way 💔

[@bstapleton3248]

Thanks for your videos. Can you consider doing something on triangulation/low self esteem? I was triangulated with every other woman, compared constantly, I heard a lot of "she's better than you" "she's hotter than you" crap about EVERY single woman we encountered. Waitresses, women in shops, women on TV, and I was humiliated in public many times for not being good enough, sexy enough, young enough, smart enough, rich enough, and I began to approach every situation defensively and jealously because of this. Even if he didn't say it I could hear him think it after awhile. I became so conditioned to compare myself to other women and come up inadequate that even though he's dumped me I am so conditioned to do it I do it to myself and I find myself hating every woman I see and feeling completely depressed and inadequate. Your humor is fun. Reminds me of Eddie Izzard.

[@fredweeks9451]

same bro. cracking eddie izzard comparison as well. how you getting on ive just had a 'crisis' of sorts so im starting to unpick everything

[@mishmila0167]

Sometimes I can even describe what it is I feel, only that it's horrible and despairing. Like the life's been sucked out of me.

[@conniethecactus5148]

Yes.

[@jogriffiths5766]

@@conniethecactus5148 AHA! Hello ME !! This was my handle 8+ years ago!! & I was here!

[@Elven.]

awesome piece of advice!! it's very common to be told "oh, but you don't have to feel like that" or just "don't feel like that" all the time. People invalidate you so much by just repeating cliche phrases to supposedly show you some sort of support. Well, that automated shallowness makes me feel angry and oppressed, cheers!

[@kerrydita1]

I found your videos a couple of days ago. I’m about to enter counselling after freeing myself from 39years of what I now see as narcissistic abuse from a sibling. I’ve been free of her for 18 months and the tar I feel my body wanting to vomit is unreal.. I have nightmares most nights and flashbacks throughout the days. Your videos have already helped me to begin to understand what has happened to me and what is now happening. How if affects me, and how that affects my behaviour towards others. With children myself, your wisdom is not only helping me, but knock on effect helping them and my husband too. I cannot thank you enough.

[@hazeldavis3176]

Currently living with my narc mom so doing gray rock with her- but while I do that on the outside to her I'm learning I can still have a rich and rewarding inner life. Thanks for another great video!

[@rondakohan4427]

Thank you!Thank you! As a child, I learned not to express negative emotion. So I have a tendency to push away those kinds of feelings. Being numb and not feeling anything was my state of being for a long time and even when something really awesome happens I have a hard time feeling happy feelings as well. I keep coming across a poster on facebook with faces of emotion printed on them..angry, happy, sad, jealous, etc. It is for children with aspergers to help with identifying emotions. I keep thinking I should get it and hang it up in my house for me and I kept thinking, " that is a stupid Idea". But It isn't stupid if it helps me recover quicker. Nothing is as painful as allowing your abusers to win, and if I give up and stop moving forward, they win and I lose. So Pain is acceptable. Crying as I type this.. there I acknowledged my feelings, sometimes just listening to the vids causes a response, telling the truth, seeing the puppy and looking at him while I process the info is very helpful(he is so sweet). Why am I crying.. relieved that someone is putting into words what I have been living with, angry that I have to recover from a childhood that I did not consent to, sad that the people who did this to me cannot be cured,fixed. .Grieving that Iam not the child my parents wanted...(I was born broken and had developmental delays and learning disabilities) Fiercely determined to break this ,"generational curse" and not pass any of this nonsense to the next generation. Got Pete Walker's book and am reading some everyday. It's really good. Thank you. spent lots of my adult life either in denial or wondering WTF is wrong with me and thanks to Spartanlifecoach and others Iam finally seeing progress..

[@InfinitelyPossible]

As weird as it may sound, your videos are answers to the prayers I have made for healing. Thank you for your work and honoring your urge to teach. This is the work I hope to do.

[@juliac9170]

I went through a period of "feeling the pain". I heard somebody call it "emotional diarrhea" and, boy, it was cleansing, albeit unpleasant!

[@sabrinashaw9939]

I've been listening to you for over a year now. September 2018 I realized my mom had covert narcissistic tendencies and my dad was very critical, judgemental and legalistic. I'm 47 and was diagnosed with depression at age 21. Later I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. My goal is to get off the 3 meds I'm currently on, which I've tried unsuccessfully a few times. I've learned so much from you, I love your style, and I thank you for what you are doing, especially going through the hard work of getting healthy. Keep doing what you are doing.🙂❤ I really like this video and another favourite is "How setting your intent will change your life".

[@mattmcgihon]

Stephen Gilligan said :"The distance between you and another is in direct correlation to the distance between you and yourself." Great post,cheers.

[@heidihaeni7783]

My dad left me at The Point Loma lighthouse. He left Tommy at Presidio Park. He left Jimmy and me at a gas station in Alberta Canada. He even left all of us in his truck on the side of the road in Port Orchard Washington, and came back hours later. I had to get out of the truck to be sick behind some bushes, and I was worried that he would come back and drive away without me. I was scared because I didn't know that town, and I was only 9 years old. Richard, I'm sorry that your parents left you on the side of the road too. If only I had lived in England I could have been your babysitter, so at least you would have felt like somebody was nice to you. I was a really good babysitter, because I wanted kids to feel safe, because I never did. I still daydream about living at a lighthouse, and that my dad never comes back to get me.

[@sobeidalagrange7129]

"Face any danger immediately before you give yourself a chance to get scared...".-Winston Churchill. / Min: 25:19.

[@flowerfacefaxon]

Your videos are chock full of exactly what I need to hear right now! Your coaching does bring clarity, a heightened awareness and an ability to recognize BS! Please continue making your videos and sharing them! I've got to run, have a shed full of salesmen I need to clean out which is scary AF, but I'm ready to live! Gotta feel those feels, UGH!! Thanks and good luck with your practice!!

[@garimaheath]

On Pain Kahlil Gibran Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

[@pachamama8586]

@Garima Heath Thank you very much for putting this here! All the best to you!!

[@What2B]

Garima Heath At 4:10, while referencing this poem, he looks hard right as if accessing his right brain functions.

[@What2B]

Garmina Heath oops an edit to my last post it was 1:05.

[@HustleHabit]

Beautiful.

[@carolvandermeer5053]

This has been my main concern that I am numb and feel nothing. I know I need to find my emotions again but I did not know where to start. Thank you for this video.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Carol VanderMeer,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@catesteward2797]

Thanks for this week's topic. It was very helpful. I wasted several years trying the spiritual/religious route which did not help one bit! I was also guilty of trying to control things by psycho-analysing things. When the answer really is to recognise, name and acknowledge the feeling, Thanks :)

[@dollarsmum3453]

Thank you for all of what you've done for human kind. You will go down in history for what you have done, your brand of simplifying a means for healing for those who are hardest to heal. My God thank you!

[@antoinetteb.3869]

You have the ability to make laugh regarding such a serious topuc as feeling feelings. Thanks for telling it like it is. My new amazing therapists tells me the same thing and I am beginning to feel my feelings -snot and running eyeliner included.

[@lenasvn]

I go waterproof. :)

[@ellenmaes9023]

Thanx for making one thing clear to me: being in touch with my emotions and able to express them to my partner is essential for being in a healthy relationship... That should be my nr one in deciding to move on!!

[@lillydimartino6834]

i keep saying this.. Ritchie.... Thank you for you and all you do.. you are my hero; getting out there exposing this crap... hi Max : ))))

[@lucycrown212]

I laughed so hard listening to this. Your linguistic flair, imagination and sense of humour, plus the ability to conjure up these vivid movie-like scenes, all that works miracles. I'm on my path to healing, and the way you reach across literature, philosophy, psychology, pop culture and life itself to put together these insightful images and metaphors is genius. Chapeau bas, and thank you.

[@_FMK]

If it's bitter at the start, It's sweeter in the end. 💜🎗

[@_FMK]

@Sue Ristovska starting to believe that I do... lol.. it's taken a few decades but 😄👍

[@_FMK]

@Sue Ristovska um... probably worth putting that in better context.. that lyric 'if its bitter in the start [etc]' is from a Madonna song (off her Ray of Light album) that i listened to for a bit in my 20's - & used to wonder could that ever be true.. later, i noticed that some of the super bitter aryuvedic herbal preparations force a sweet response on the palette after an extremely bitter start .... now later - on an interpersonal level - I'm noticing that things are coming back around to show that I probably did have an entirely acceptable approach re. various matters that I maybe 'took a hit' on & lost a bit of self-esteem over... matrix of life i guess - not lineal (thank goodness). Hope I've made a modicum of sense in writing this 😄... *great album in parts - Ray of Light!

[@CamperEra]

So good, especially at the end, about the poem, On Pain, and our capacity to feel pain and joy.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Tamara Herrera,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!😊😊😍

[@k8eekatt]

OmG! "Your punishment will be to live as You for the rest of your f**cking life!" aint that the truth brother! Thanks for the laughs and the tears!

[@sibyllefrey7036]

Sometimes it's easy to get lost in a maze of possible answers to our problem, different paths to selfknowledge and becoming whole again. Then you come along and put the central point into very simple words and although it almost seems that you are stating the obvious, it's incredibly enlightening. Thank you for the clarity of your insight!

[@foxiedogitchypaws7141]

As a woman who was married for 30 years to an abusive man and stayed and left, stayed and left, raise children in the middle, I can see how their marriages or lack of, see how 1 person who does not make their son or daughter feel they are loved for who they are, can make a difference. For anyone, man or woman , needs to get out and stay away from the abusive person.

[@TaschaGal]

Wow. Once again, Richard is incredibly articulate and spot on. I find that after the ending of an emotionally abusive relationship, I go into psychoanalyst/detective/healer mode, trying to heal the ABUSER of the their ailments that cause them to abuse. It's total self-abandonment. I ruminate for sometimes days at a time. I binge watch WAAAAYY too many KZbin videos about personality disorders, attachments styles, or just the dating "game". I tend to gravitate towards this idea that I can think out all my thoughts and then I'll be done, like a blank slate. But that's not ever the way it works. Usually I ruminate, and then after a few days I'll grieve it out through a good cry, or I'll embrace my anger and power through a tough workout. And then after the release of the anger/sadness, I'm overcome with gratitude, elation, and yes mental CLARITY. I usually have my best, most creative moments the day(s) after I process grief. Sometimes I'll have these "breakthrough" moments, verbally ventilate and draw connections to the point where I start becoming inspired to write a book (or create a KZbin channel ;-) I love those days. Those days I tend to cry from immense joy and gratitude. Gotta take the good with the bad, I guess. As Richard says, if you're not allowing yourself to feel the bad stuff, you're not allowing yourself to feel the good stuff either. For years, there was a part of me deep down that wondered why I wasn't experiencing joy the way others could. Even though I secretly longed for it, I attributed it to just being emotionally even-keeled (as a good thing), but deep down I knew there was a part of me that was depressed, and slightly numb. I think the most important part of this video is the mention of the loop we find ourselves in if we don't allow ourselves to feel all the feels: we are in essence re-traumatizing ourselves and compounding the problem the more we push away our feelings. It's like the monster under the bed that gets bigger and scarier the more you avoid looking under the bed! Just have a look and get on with it!

[@ItCantRainForever2]

Yeah right now my computer is in a coma. I am stuck. I feel like a teenager again. I am a borderline "devil" and CPTSD lol. I have no support. I am doing yoga and meditation and it helps me focus. I'm healing from so many losses it's ridiculous.

[@smartcatcollarproject5699]

My latest computer crash was such a trauma ! I had it coming, failed to do proper backups despite many warnings... So much emotions was a surprise, as I have already had a few crashes before, and l even worked in this domain. Anyway I was lucky I could read the hard drive with my new computer. Always do backups if you have any file and data you want o keep !

[@giamaria5105]

Amy u are definitely not alone im feeling that too...I've been stuck for a decade as of now ..just trying to wake out of my coma recently...im doing alot of yoga these days too..as well as binging on these utube vids...always home alone no matter who else is physically here...they never really are "here"..

[@jdrichardson39]

It Can't Rain Forever me too

[@angellakropf675]

I can never express my gratitude for you and your time. Nor can you see how much the knowledge you selflessly share has helped me in my battles to find courage and strength and motivation and most of all, restoration of the hope and faith I will achieve the peace and happiness I thought was gone forever. Ty

[@rosepetalarts1515]

Really impressed. After watching probably thousands of videos on KZbin by now, this is my first comment. Super happy to have come across your wisdom and articulation of a subject so vast and interesting. Feeling emotions. Yes. And yikes. Came back from a bike ride where I listened to this video, and home to experience a relationship in which pain and despair are present company. I'm hoping to make some progress in leaving it...in being brave and naming what's going on in the present moment. Thank you. Wish I could connect with you via coaching but excited at all your materials regardless. I'm actually a therapist myself, gulp. Thanks again, friend!

[@TeddyBear-ii7gu]

I have listened to this while climbing in the mountains. When he described what could have been the worst to happen if you feel your emotions and cry, I immediately started crying knowing that its OK to have a booger on my t-shirt. It feels so relieving and it allows you to accept what has happened.

[@moirac4775]

I was raised in a seriously emotionally abusive adoption. Control freak with a NPD and weak mother with low IQ. I have no contact. The NPD is dead. My adoptive mother says children should be seen and not heard. Never ever allows me to talk about my emotions. Just ignores my feelings and says I had the best possible upbringing. Her denial has caused me serious problems but I found she blocked my ability to get to my subconscious mind and feelings. I've been brave wanting to talk about the emotional abuse and get to my feelings yet she just cuts me off. So I've been stuck and not able to progress. Even though I haven't had contact for years still feel this pathetic woman with a very low IQ has stopped me moving forward. I was diagnosed borderline,now they are saying its cptsd. This video describes how I feel. I used to get overwhelmed with emotion,freeze and didn't even know what the feeling was.I was adopted by 2 seriously screwed up people who said they took me to a child psych to find out what was wrong with me. Which has left me with terrible guilt and feeling that I'm faulty. He found more wrong with them. There was no adoption screening done at all. An hour with a psych and these people could have been found not fit to parent. So many injustices like this in my life. I think you've closed your waiting list for therapy. Shall keep watching the kids for inspiration.

[@phoenixbg2096]

I wish there is more people like you in this world

[@lizp4400]

You are funny! Thank you for throwing in silly stuff...

[@liznorth4028]

He's a natural teacher, & I'm thanking God he is!!!

[@irmak266]

This man is a gift. I am so grateful to have stumbled onto this, He truly saved my life today.

[@kitspics526]

Thank you so very much for your clarity and knowledge.

[@lanialorapt7082]

i wish dat i cant find a good guy like you Mr.Richard Grannon ... Thank you so much 😊🤝✌️👍😘

[@marycatherineann5624]

Any time I stand up for myself I feel guilt. It's a feeling of being stuck so I get of depression.

[@captainnatalie6937]

Omg i just burst into tears and i have not been able to cry for a while. Iv been diagnosed with fearful avoidant attachment, ptsd, complicated delayed grief this video has been really helpful. I literally intellectualise everything and its debilitating.

[@alicejackson7676]

Hi Richie, So I keep getting better and better and I think that I might graduate away from learning anything new from your videos. No sir, each video you post gets better and better too! Thanks again, you dear. --Alice

[@JustMyAutisticalities]

Thank you so much for explaining this subject so thoroughly... I've been wrecking my brain about the "how" to process denied "stored for later" feelings as it's been so often suggested. This video was just what I needed. The missing link... I always thought it was so much harder and more involved than to "simply" honor (am American 😉) the emotions. This new revelation to me has taken a lot of sting out of the exercise. Thank you so much. How do I feel right now: I feel a deep gratitude. I feel sad for wasting so much time without doing this. Really sad. I feel grieved about that loss. I feel excited about the new possibilities. I feel a bit scared. I feel hopeful... I have been truly utterly terrified of taking a closer look for exactly the reasons you've mentioned: fear of an emotional tsunami! Thank you for sharing this very powerful exercise.

[@eva-janemiddleton434]

jagged little pill comes to mind by Alanis morisett. Thank you. I found this video at the right time. strange id watched it before and it means so much more second time around. NO coincidence. Thank you for helping others to heal themselves.

[@adarsha197]

Gasp... listening to this. I was abused by my mother and older sister as a child. This video, and your other videos on narcissism have really opened my eyes to my past and why I am the way I am. Why did I gasp at a comment you made in this video, because when you mentioned flashbacks and water makes me gasp for air, and why? Well, because my mother attempted to drown me as a very young child. I thank you for your videos they are amazing, informative and I know there is still a very long way to go, but, I'm getting there. I've questioned so much about myself over they years, dug deep, done so much 'inner' work to soothe my soul, my 'self', to see the problem for what it is, to understand. I trained as a Naturopath, I meditate, I trained in martial arts to black belt level for the spiritual side and the healing, and so much more. Yes, I am still working on my 'self' perhaps a never ending journey. Would love to meet you one day.

[@JoJo-dy8qg]

Dear Richard, Yes, exactly, that. Feel the feels. I will totally get around to doing that. Very, very, very soon. Very, very soon. Very soon. In the meantime, will you please make a video entitled, "How to Totally Feel the Feels Without Actually Falling Into, you know, FEELINGS". I would be ever so grateful. Please and Thank You. Signed, TotallyNotEmotophobic

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

+Jo Jo You dont want to feel your feels? I know that feel bro 41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0nmeszmws1qibz0jo1_r1_500.png

[@kimwarburton8490]

Ty for the giggle This is so me 2day xD

[@jem2250]

There is our part, and then there is theirs. We can’t do both. We can only own our own emotions and act from there. Still, sadness pervades from the loss of what was good and the loss of potential. Grief is an emotion so complex. Thank you for being there, for bringing light to the darkness. For sharing.

[@roxanneosbit7081]

Forgot the best part..."Hello darkness, my old FRIEND."

[@victoriamd9078]

I am SO grateful to you. I survived a 20yr covert psychopath husband And so did my daughter. You are so honest and encouraging And give the 💯 truth. A million thanks for your videos

[@jaynehathaway3717]

All good information as usual thank you. It's good to gain an understanding of the dynamics, and the more people are exposed to information like this, the more it seeps into the quagmire of their conditioned behaviors and the better it facilitates conscious awareness in the moment. Ultimately, once this happens, it gets down to a choice. Are we going to stay mired in dysfunctional, destructive relationships, or are we going to go through the fire of cutting these people loose for good, and going it alone? That's what it got down to for me. Being alone sucks, but not as much as being a perpetual target and victim.

[@laurax1136]

Great video, thanks for sharing this valuable information on feelings . I've noticed that the cathartic response to the last couple of videos have left me feeling incredibly angry and out of control. Out of control, meaning full of anger, deep sadness, impending doom and helplessness. I suppose this is the process, but I must admit the the anger frightens me. I've never been able to handle rage well. Lock it up with "dead salesmen " or self destruct, always seem to be one extreme to another. I'm hopeful that I will navigate my way through these deadening emotions soon. If I could feel these feelings without looking for a way out, it would be easier, obviously. It's debilitating to feel that hood of darkness for me. I've stopped working, lived as a people pleaser and normal life has become more of a long ago memory than a reality. I want to live well, know joy once again.. Coping with feelings is the problem. Ps Freudian shirt statement is funny!

[@Ianu5]

Where's the "Hello boys and girls"? :D I got used to it! :)) (or did I miss something) Besides that, the videos are ... brilliant! The humor, your precise attention with the semantics and your examples, within the difficult theme itself, is what makes it brilliant - for me. Thank you for these free very insightful videos!! :)

[@Layla-fr7mf]

When you leave your family (I speak as a scapegoat) do the inner healing which can be daily routines that make you feel better and realise your self worth so that you don’t attract other narcissists to replace your parents, ex partner or family. Never avoid how you feel anymore. You may be called too sensitive or too angry because you were suppressed for so long. Don’t be ashamed about it. Watch Teal Swan- Emotional Wake up call

[@joannebohan2243]

that was useful thanks i felt incredibly detached till i watched this!!! sometimes you break all your own rules just to survive then you have to reboot again!! thanks i like unicorns too

[@GrahamMilkdrop]

+Joanne Bohan Do what you gotta do.

[@booksandthings8297]

You have no idea how much you opened my eyes to my own behaviour as a survivor from being born in a cult. It's incredible how you word for word described the reaction to "why do you think that they did that." It's like you watched a recording of my therapy session.

[@mgrayta]

I think the film "Inside Out" is also a good one on feeling the feels

[@thomasmarshall9309]

+Mike x Dude I thought the same thing after I watched the film! I know its a kids film but it gave a really solid message about what happens when you resist your emotions. In my opinion its a fantastic way of teaching kids not to be afraid of their own emotions :)

[@mattderouen4196]

Just found your channel recently, and every video makes me FEEL relieved, refreshed, and relaxed. Thank you, I truly appreciate you and your work.

[@lightowl4345]

Is this why some people are angry drunks, when they normally aren't angry? Does the alcohol break open the door and let piled up emotion out?

[@conniethecactus5148]

Yes.

[@MegaEagle1968]

BRILLIANT RICHIE. AT THE AGE 5 I WAS STUCK BY LIGHTNING AND DEVELOPED CATARACT BLINDNESS, I HAVE HAD PTSD All my life, but now with help from you and like minded people I`m beginning to HEAL, THANK YOU! Its taken 42 years to get to here but I`m still young enough to learn and old enough to be HAPPY. CHEERS MATE....:)

[@kristinamcmanus2113]

I realise that I suffered abuse from a narcissist due to my co dependency. I know already the problem is within me :-(

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Kristina McManus,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

[@benjamesmuzz]

Thank you sincerely, Richard; you beautiful man. A new, yet very dear friend of mine has spent hours watching your videos following a horrific BPD abusive relationship with a girl a few years ago. I recently (a month and a half ago) have come out of a seriously abusive BPD relationship and he’s passed on some of your lessons to me. I have recently begun to heal; still have a long way to go. But I one day, having worked through this trauma, hope to share the information with someone else that needs it to heal like I do now, like my friend has for me. Bless your heart and determination to bring the best out of damaged people, it really helps. x

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

Louis CK Story of permitting pain kzbin.info/www/bejne/a3nFioaZodmZZ8U someone tell me where in the video I mention that please? I will put a link within the vid too

[@stuvs830]

40:37

[@alizamiller5581]

If I could be completely healed from ever having any association again with any controlling freakish man that ends up having the crazy idea That I will give in eventually and do everything they expect of me if they keep convincing me long enough Just by watching, ONE of your videos a day.

[@alizamiller5581]

I wish I'd met you years ago. Where the hell have you been, I wasted 3 years already in a hopeless dead end relationship. Tried ending it every 6 months finding myself back in his bed. :/ You're an outstanding individual, thanks for all you give, means the world to me. Aliza Miller

[@c.tucker95]

+TrutherTalk I agree. he is something special for sure! idk what label I want to use just yet. I just know I am relieved, feel hope yet in a deeper sense, comfortable with belonging to this support group, per say. And just glad to be here ..ttyl

[@c.tucker95]

Four years plus about 20+more same kind relationships within the next four

[@nickstiles1431]

Thank you for this, I was starting to realize it after yeah, like 10 years of self help esoteric stuff. Good to hear it’s what I actually need to do for myself. And stop trying to please everyone around me.

[@Cosmogirl014]

One of the best videos yet !

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Pamela Perry,you got a lovely smile 😊😍

[@ericcain8792]

Thank you so much, I am sobbing like a baby. I have felt like I needed to have a mask up for so long, terrified of being my true self, in fear that I will be judged. I have always tried to find anything to help myself with out having to feel the emotion.

[@pixygreengirl]

How does that make me feel? Thanks for the insight- I fear my own feelings.

[@diannagarza9247]

I've been in counseling, hospital settings, medicated, churches and interbentions for 20 years. None of them ever pinpointed the attachment disorder CPTSD as my condition. Thank you for giving me a starting point.

[@SarahKaneMusic]

You are the man. Thank you

[@nezmirage9565]

Thanks Richard! You're getting me from victim to empowered faster than anyone!

[@trishtv8310]

I am finding that having sort of come out of the closet as being a sufferer of CPTSD and other things you are talking about as well I am sure, some people are being extra nice to me. It is very confusing, because I want people to be nice, but at the same time when they are extra nice like that it makes me recoil on the inside, not in an insulting way to the person being nice or anything but like I don't know how to take it, and part of me already thinks people are all kind of loveless and just use you, even though the other part of me knows the difference, but the first part does not trust the intentions of this extra nice person. And it makes me feel exposed, like my problems are the elephant in the room that everyone is quietly reacting to without really mentioning it. I don't know. Mostly, it is the fact that I don't trust people, and I am just not that used to them being all that nice. There is something about me that just does not bring out the nurturing side of people. I don't know. I think perhaps I am really good at looking like I don't need anything. Confusing stuff. Very.

[@pamelahenry1362]

Thanks so much for your enlightened video, I share these with my clients every day. By the way I am a brit livening in Canada. And have my own psychotherapy private practice, as I did in the UK. Just little tidbit!!!! To enlighten your day. Thanks again Pam

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

+Pamela Bickerton Cheers Pam!