I've been self-isolating all year... (depression)

[@pyungte]

Hey mate! Im a final year Durham university student, going through the stressful time of revising under quarantine atm. During my second year last year I was going through my own personal issues and was not able to bring myself to revise. Then you had your live stream up and I saw it. Don’t know if you remember but I was the Accounting and Finance student that popped up in the live stream from John Snow. But anyway, that live stream helped me kick start the momentum I needed to get my work done! Thanks a lot for that, I finished with 68% last year! Glad to see you are back man! I hope you look after yourself

[@LiamBushrod]

I remember you! Wow, it's comments like these that make the work and effort of maintaining a youtube channel worth it. Because while those livestreams last year didn't end up helping me, it fills my heart knowing that the effort wasn't for nothing. Mega congratulations on getting 68% last year and best of luck with the coming exams, you got this!

[@kbrp5493]

Hey mate, hope things are well with you! Whichever path you decided to take, you're super smart and seem to have all the required personality traits to have a super successful career. All the best.

[@MissEleanorRoseXO]

I understand how you feel in a way. I’m only first year atm, but I share that fear of inevitability of failure. I messed up greatly during A level and was fortunate enough to make it on to my course. But that fear of failure and the unknowing if you’re doing the right thing with your work is daunting af and making connecting with friends teachers and my own GP are kinda helping, but getting over that fear is certainly a long process. Try and be kind to yourself and understand that constantly feeling stressed is not worth it at all 😊

[@wesaidsomething]

Hey. I really appreciate the video. I know this was uploaded a couple months ago now but I hope you are well. I just want you to know that it is possible to overcome this. I had horrendous mental illness problems throughout my first undergrad degree in molecular biotechnology. I was at one of the top Australian universities but I crumbled under the pressure. Because of how severe my mental illness was, I was in and out of hospital for several years. I took 5 years instead of 3, and I didn't get the grades I needed to do the postgrad course I wanted and I felt so gutted and lost. I spent a VERY long time in therapy, and on medication, and after several years, things gradually started to improve. As I improved certain areas of my life, other areas became easier to improve. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the life I wanted and it had nothing to do with being the smartest, or the richest, or the best at anything. I finally felt comfortable in myself and didn't need to compensate by having high grades. I also figured out the career I wanted, and knew that I would be fulfilled in it. Having a clear goal really helped. After graduating from my first degree, I made the decision to go back and study something else - linguistics. It was kind of my opportunity to redo my first horrendous go at university. And honestly I have thrived. I can't believe how well things are going. I was at risk of being forced to leave the university during my first degree and now I am topping some of my classes, because I have my spark back. I think we get taught when we are young that life is so straightforward - do well at school, go to uni, get a good job, buy a house, have a family, retire. But life isn't like that anymore, maybe it was for our parents' generation but it's not like that for us. I think our generation is finally realising that that path doesn't make you happy if it's not right for you. I think we are the first generation to actually deal with out problems, rather than just pretend everything is fine. I think we also have it tougher than previous generations did in some ways. My point is that we all need to find what makes us happy, even if it's not what other think we should be doing. Maybe everyone thinks you should become an engineer, but maybe deep down that's not what you want, and that's why you lost your motivation. I don't know. Maybe you don't know what you want to do now, and that's ok too. You can always go back to university when you figure that out. If you look at some of the most successful historical figures, you often find that they took very unconventional paths to get where they got to. But no-one remembers that, or cares. At the end of the day, doing what makes you feel fulfilled and content is what you should be doing. Also, doing all the healthy things like having a good sleep schedule, eating healthy, exercising, going to therapy - it really does work. It might take a while but it does:)

[@stephaniemcconnachie810]

Hi Liam, I have only recently come across your channel and I've been binge-watching your videos. You are funny and seem like a really cool guy. I hope you're feeling better x

[@LiamBushrod]

Hey Stephanie! Hope you're doing well & thanks for leaving such a lovely comment 🥰 I never imagined my videos would/could be binged so I think that's a first! I am feeling much better at the moment but there are still things I'm working on to try and make a better person for myself and others. A LOT has changed since I last uploaded and I'm honestly not sure where I take the channel next for reasons that will become clear when I next upload. Until then thank you for watching and stay safe out there x

[@yusuffulat6954]

I was watching a slew of results videos some time ago, and you were the only one that I watched where you didn’t get the grades in the end. I’m going through something similar and I appreciate how you still uploaded that and spoke so openly about your mental health.

[@LiamBushrod]

Hey Yusuf - so sorry I missed your kind words. Like you say, I had no idea how rare an actual "failed results" video was so I never expected to get such a genuine positive reaction from so many like yourself who may be going through something similar and found reassurance that they were not alone. I'll always try to be open and honest going forward too (when I do eventually decide to start uploading again) Did things work out for you in the end? Happy to chat in the dms if you'd prefer :) Liam

[@user-fv3ri5ve4k]

your hair looks really good when its long (:

[@LiamBushrod]

aw jennifer thank you! It'll be long again soon I promise xD

[@FlorenceRyan]

Proud of you Liam! I’ll tune in for the live-streams :)

[@LiamBushrod]

Thank you Florence ♥

[@Jamiroquai77]

Awesome to see you again Liam!

[@LiamBushrod]

It's great to back :) Thanks for always being here Hussain

[@aria0218_]

Literally the same here, my mental health magically get much better during the lockdown 🤣

[@LiamBushrod]

Isn't it the most bizarre thing ever!? 🙃

[@Libertu]

Yeah it's weird how being stuck at home feels better when you know that everyone else is too. I appreciate hearing other people also struggling with the uni thing as so much of KZbin is filled with people feigning assignments going drastically wrong and then they end up doing well... So thanks! And it's good that you've been seeking help and conversation on stuff. Just keep swimming! P.s. Was that sourdough your starter? As it was pretty solid, mines a complete liquid lol

[@LiamBushrod]

Really appreciate it Lib :) You're right, I do hope we can help shift the youtube scene and start conversations where they might not have happened otherwise. Hope you're doing well! (yes that was a 750g flour sourdough batch fermenting during the "stretch and fold" stage. Starters are pretty liquidy, especially when they're least active. Hope it goes well!)

[@Libertu]

Liam Bushrod I'm doing alright ta! It's a weird time, it feels bad admitting that things are going alright right now but hey ho. Things are just very different for different people! Hope you are on the up too. And thanks yeah I've just been lumping the starter in my regular bread recipe, just curious if other people's bread making methods are different! Have a good day!

[@elfmas]

I'm in second year nat sci at durham, about to sit exams. Funnily enough I found your second year reaction video and feel like I'll be having a similar experience. Things this year have been really tough being stuck at home the whole time and am really feeling anxious about stuff now. And I'm dreading to think how tough things will be next year. Your videos are very refreshing to watch someone else who did well at a level and struggled with uni. Any recent updates would be cool to see!

[@sanjayksunil]

Great to see you again liam😄

[@LiamBushrod]

Glad to be back Sanjay, thanks for always being here!

[@msevans770]

Hey, currently mid 2nd year January exams, haven’t been able to work for months and know I’ve failed so far. Is it possible to drop out and restart the year?

[@LiamBushrod]

Hey Coos, sorry I've only just seen your comment. How are you doing? The best thing you can do is speak to someone about your struggles. I know it's hard - I'll never forget calling my mum the first time and crying to her on the phone - but it'll get easier I promise. Feel free to reach out in the DMs if you'd prefer. Liam.

[@platinumfire99]

Exercise has helped pull me out of all of my depressive episodes. Glad to see you doing better, whatever you do in your future, you'll do well.

[@LiamBushrod]

It's certainly been working wonders so far, long may it continue :) And thank you! Hope you're doing well

[@allanperkins5060]

Nice to see you back on KZbin! I'm still praying for you :-)

[@LiamBushrod]

Thank you for the prayers and always being here Allan, really appreciate it. Feels good to be back!

[@HiImChase]

I had a very similar experience with my uni and I did go back even though I wasn’t in the right place and it ended badly! So much respect for being so brave and sharing this man!

[@LiamBushrod]

Chase! Thank you man, it's good to hear from you! It's oddly comforting knowing you're not the only one who's been in that position. I don't know for certain how it would've ended for me had I gone back, but based on how quickly things went downhill at home, I think it was the right call

[@alexandraglover595]

Doing what Ethan could never do

[@LiamBushrod]

Despicable. Will be havin words

[@sampan4319]

Welcome back Liam, it is great to see again 👏🏻

[@LiamBushrod]

Thank you Sam for always being here, it feels great to be back.

[@warmsmellofbooks9499]

Wow . Welcome back .

[@LiamBushrod]

It feels good to be back Tom, thanks for coming back brother

[@hannahobrien1423]

❤️❤️

[@NoahOBolt]

liam im sorry you had to go through this and i do wish you could upload but i really hope you get better and i understand what your going through and when i was like 11 i didn't understand but i hope life can get better for you and i hope i get to see you