"Lies Bind, Truth Frees" : Narcissistic Abuse Deconstructed

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

0:10 Getting Started 1:49 All Of Us Have A Monster Inside 4:30 Re-defining Love For Ourselves 7:11 Truth Frees, Lies Bind 10:36 You Can Truth Your Way Out Of Heartbreak 12:14 The Path Of Lies 14:02 How Narcissists Recruit You For A Certain Role And Punish You If You Don't Do What You're Told 19:49 Commit To Truth, Commit To Moving Forward 20:53 Courses That Can Help You

[@caitlinbell2144]

Thankyou v much mr richie Exciting new corses,.. another thankyou

[@johno8562]

Genius. ♥️

[@johno8562]

Give me my face book likes supply 😂😂😂😂💪 ! Legend ♥️👍

[@itz_Max_yall]

You said “whereas *love* is always going to imprison you” at 7:39. Obviously, you meant to say “lies” there. Just thought I’d let you know. Lol. Fucking brilliant analysis, btw. I especially liked 12:13-13:05. You perfectly explained why my ex-girlfriend was always lying, manipulating, and gaslighting me. I’ve been racking my brain for two years wondering how a person could live with themselves while being such an obvious liar. You gave me my answer. Thanks for all your insights. Keep them coming!

[@victorhugovillatoro]

This is pure gold!! Thank you!!!

[@dianaparks1934]

One of my favorite quotes is Carl Sagan's: "If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth."

[@dharmadharma3960]

Diana Curran thats great

[@Mr13wonderboy77]

That's such a powerful statement, especially these days when truth seems to be an afterthought.

[@bodyattune6928]

I love this. Thank you.

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

Its a cool quote but sadly its a misattribution. www.snopes.com/fact-check/truth-carl-sagan-quote/ The original quote from a sci fi novel is stil pretty cool though "That which can be destroyed by the truth should be”

[@dianaparks1934]

Wow - I'm embarrassed, especially since I research for a living and here on a video about truth, I extended (unwittingly and unintentionally) a false belief. Thanks Richard, as what Sagan did write might be even better: "One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back." That sounds familiar, doesn't it?

[@e.m.4866]

Excellent motives for healing: “There is another side to this. There is an out. And you are going to have to go through some painful experiences, I think. I haven’t seen another way of it but through. And that’s transcendence. And it’s an initiation, it’s a trial by fire, and it hurts. But on the other side of it is freedom, is love, is the capacity to love again, and the capacity to be loved again, which is grace itself.”

[@gracetoglory5020]

Thankyou for this 🌷

[@Austin-ch5cj]

I wish I could have Richard as my counseling one on one. He's one of the bigger reasons why I don't commit suicide. He's no bullshit and really appreciate that.. So blessed that I found this channel.

[@monizoe3188]

I always did say about my parents, it's their world, I just live in it. People thought I was being funny but all the scapegoating, neglect and abandonment wasn't funny. They only addressed me if I praised them or gave them something. ..Monsters to this day

[@ninaelwart9460]

Remember all you bright shiny people ......Bugs are attracted to the light...

[@yeahnahsweetas]

Hey you shouldn't talk about bugs like that

[@cindystephens9066]

Very good analogy with the Ring....love everything you say.....so enlightening !

[@j.m.waterfordasxiphanex3738]

Nina Elwart I prefer Matthew Vaughn's "STARDUST" (2007) take on the power of brightness.

[@mobyfield49]

Oh sooooo good!! Xoxo

[@Ishtar2419]

Well said, exactly what I told him my life with him was like. I was an actor in his movie but he never gave me a script, he just made up the story line as he went along. I didn't agree to the plot of the movie so he discarded me, many times. 25 years and 2 children and he wanted to give me a small part in his movie, just a bit actor, just a fill in role when no one else was available, but this time I said no. It has been a journey and after all those years of emotional trauma I am trying to find myself again. Thanks for all your good advice Richard, you've helped me on so many levels.😢😊😉

[@Hysteriafairy828]

I have recently escaped.... 3 weeks ago, 50 years old and two children later....l have a lot of growing up to do, l don't mind....l am happy to...l feel free for the first time!

[@KrystalLioness]

We are never too old. I'm almost 54 and just now living my life on my terms. :D

[@jackielove2737]

CONGRATULATIONS!

[@ctwofirst6635]

I'm 62. Free for two years now.

[@Hysteriafairy828]

Wow.......I thought l was the oldest, in fact l ask myself why did it take so long! Life begins at 50 then! Thank you l appreciate your replies

[@sheilamc3420]

So great for all of us! I'm 53 this year and LOVE being in my fifties. Just wait, you will see, there's something just good about it. 50 is a number about freedom and expansion, and it's a LOT of freedom and expansion... Have the most fun of your life every day, ditch the narc and just keep it moving. Hugs!

[@lemonylimeclementhyme]

"I'm a star eater, I devour light." Poetry. Wonderful video, as always, you never disappoint.

[@pippadaisychain7902]

Hello Funky Jesus. This is quite possibly the best video you've ever done. I like the longer ones best.

[@elinamiezite4410]

Richy, You are a beautiful, decent human being and You're making a huge difference in some people's lives. God bless You (if there is one)!

[@Ozma337]

Yes!!! I love Jordan Peterson! His challenge to “rescue my dead father from the abyss” is what snapped me out of the narcissistic haze, and lead me to this channel. Dr. Peterson is now the father voice for me that I lacked as a child. I’ve reparented myself by watching literally every single lecture on his channel. On a spiritual level, I feel like he’s been gifted to our generation for that purpose. It’s so cool that you’re also being influenced by him, Richard! Especially because you’re videos are “an antidote to chaos” for so many.

[@victoriamd9078]

Thanks for this information.

[@kaleidojess]

“I’m a star eater, I devour light, so bring it to me” that’s so well said. That metaphor.

[@nickbargas7352]

When you are able to make it past the disbelief, anger, confusion, fear and most importantly the PAIN you will be enlightened to a level of understanding that is beyond this world. When you are able to understand your true self and connect with a higher power you will then understand your purpose for being on earth. You will then understand the meaning of life as if you have seen the holy grail. I wish everyone to reach this level of understanding and build on the knowledge of your true purpose. Love unconditionally in your heart but don't be a punching bag to any type of abuse from ANYONE. We were created by the most beautiful and kind creator that is beyond our comprehension, but just know that our creator wants us to understand. It's my belief that narcissists are on this earth as a port hole to awaken us from living a lie and start living in the truth. Once you have seen the light that is when you will actually start living. I love you Richard, I love your energy and I love your message!!

[@nickbargas7352]

Your feelings are yours and no ones else. We live on a planet that allow us to have free will(choice) so just remember what you put out onto the universe is what will come back. Your brain gives you your own perception of how you want to view this topic. "So what then" you just need to be around longer until you understand. It's a feeling that is unexplainable that is connected with the universe. There is an energy and vibration that is connected somehow is the best way I can describe it. Unfortunately religion has clouded the real truth of how we are all one being and religion has hidden behind a poor rational of committing outrageous atrocities. Our true creator is only LOVE and nothing else.

[@sheilamc3420]

Thank you, this is lovely!

[@myowncoachdot6683]

Thank you Nick Bargas! I made a video about exactelly this but I haven't posted it yet. This is encouragement. Thank you!

[@victoriamd9078]

Thanks for the hope that awaits me

[@Sheso62]

lies bind, truth frees - one of the best things I ever heard. Thanks man!

[@bohuiliu3053]

I can’t describe how much your videos mean to me. Recently your channel is my major source of reality.

[@llove8530]

A guy turned up to his psychotherapist appointment wearing see thru pants. The therapist said, ‘You better sit down... I can clearly see your nuts’.

[@sonicfoxxmusic4281]

1 whole year and nobody made an attempt to thank you for making them laugh... ....thank you L Love.....great joke...still laughing now.

[@deb2319]

L Love lol

[@Bee-tn8ko]

Stunning. An absolutely beautiful message. In a narcissistic relationship lies become a way to survive another day, but ultimately we lose ourselves in the lies and the things said just to get by in the moment. Ultimately it won’t work. Truth will come out, who you really are will surface and everything you said to get by in the moment will become the lies that the narcissist will hold up to show the world “just what kind of person you are “

[@robinsmith8846]

The clarity in this video is amazing, as well as the balance of a gentle voice and compassion I feel, yet beating the drum... truth free, fake is ugly, love should be kind, not mean. This is now my GO TO VIDEO if I ever am tempted to break no contact or reply to any hoover attempts on his part. My new religion is truth, love (real) compassion, protecting my peace and happy life. Being kind to those who are worth it, who are real. Fantastic video, thank you. Ha! I got hired in the fantasy movie for a short time and woke up to the fact that it was the role from Hell. Was offered a downsized role of "friend" and declined. Quit the whole production, turn out the fking lights, cut the sound. Wow, now I can see and hear and feel the rest of life, real life, people with real feelings and a real persona and not masks they swap out a whim. Clarity is worth everything. I even feel better and more determined to my steps to healing, no contact being the start and end of Hell, and the beginning of a new life. I was happy, peaceful, busy with good things, I had no sadness, no issues... before the Narc, and I can get there again... back to me. The red flags sent me running away,made me angry, and let me criticize the HECK out of that narc! (Scathing he called it.) My inability to live with the cognitive dissonance did not allow me to be all "nice monster, what's wrong with me?" NO! I was what the hell is wrong with YOU? Who treats someone (love of his life lies) THISway? Who acts this way and calls it love? not being able to understand or accept oe excuse this behavior past a few months time, let me get free a lot soon than those who do put up with cognitive dissonance, excuse, blame themselves, ignore, try to "do better"? Heck no, I am terrific, caring, loving, and independent. HE WAS acting mean and calling it love. Period. Whew. Thanks, man, great video, will watch and rewatch as an innoculation against any "I've changed" hoovering attempts at any future time. Keeping the hope through the trial by fire to freedom, back to who I am.

[@amg726]

For the first 14 minutes or so, I was thinking, "Ok, uh huh, yep, this is good..I get it"......but then at 15 minutes? WOW! I've been searching for "something" for 4 years that would click in my brain like a key in a lock. The movie analogy, the role playing, the "fantasy" we are recruited to live in with the narcissist.......I was BLOWN AWAY. Four years of suffering after being discarded like a piece of trash.....four years of watching thousands of videos and listening to countless counselors and life coaches....ALL great, don't get me wrong....But THIS last half of the video....holy shit! I can't thank you enough, Richard. For whatever reason, this clicked for me and it was as if I found my way out of a dark forest I've been lost in for 4 loooooooooooonnngggg years. I now live with and am a caretaker for my 89 year old covert narcissist dad and this is going to help me immensely. Going from a narcissistic fiancé to now back to living with yet another narcissist has been terribly traumatic. NOW I can see exactly what he's doing AND the role I've been at times willingly and unwillingly playing. I don't have to! I don't have to play the part! The next step is to get your emotional literacy course and tackle my Cptsd. Love you Richard! You're my hero!

[@cynwes9994]

Dear Richard Grannon, I not only like your message, but also your style of delivery. Works for me. I suppose that is what all of us who feel incomplete or damaged are looking for -- a way to fit into the puzzle of this insane life-on-earth. Someone, some way, with whom we can connect, and feel a bit more "complete" with. Thank you for helping me feel a bit more "complete", by your explaining why I have spent so much of my lifetime feeling not only incomplete, but down right broken and irreparable. Broken is one thing -- broken things can be fixed. But irreparable is despair. I used to pray, on a regular basis, in my 30's and 40's, "God, you made me. So either fix me or take me." I believe He continues to "fix" me by continuing to lead me to people like you, who help me unravel the mystery of why I have felt so confused and frustrated so much of the time. I don't know what CPTSD means. I just know that it is some kind of disorder. I refuse to look it up, because I feel that all speakers and writers should at least, the first time that they speak or write an acronym, should say or write out what their groovy, new abbreviation that didn't exist 20 years ago means. Yes, I'm layin' that one down on you, Brother Richard Grannon. Please elucidate me. (Hope to Heaven that came across to you as kind, and not as bullying. Why would I want to bully a brother who is offering himself as a companion on the not-always-easy-to-follow trail out of the horrible cave of delusion where the message is, "This is as good as it gets"?) Just so you know, the thing that really hooked me into listening further to what you had to say was -- the bit about the bully saying all these nasty things to you, leaving you to wonder if suicide might be less painful than hearing their harangue at you, and THEN following the harangue with "I love you." Talk about mind-fucking. But if that, like you so CLEARLY said, (which I appreciate so much), is what one is born into, that is what one believes: love equals feeling shitty most of the time and surviving on a little crumb thrown to me now and again that says, "I love you." The first step is to have a big brother come along who says, "Dear Little Sister, that is not love. Stay away from that." The next step is to have another or the same big brother say, "Dear Little Sister, EVEN THOUGH that person who is bullying you and keeping you around with little crumbs (because that is all you know) is your lover, your sibling, your friend, your parent, your child even!, your twin sister even! (my case), THAT'S NOT LOVE. And just because you were born into, or ended up in, this very close, intimate relationship with this person, you do not have to stick around. Let me repeat, dear Little Sister, it is not OBLIGATORY that you stick around. In spite of the fact that everybody expects you to show up at family gatherings. In spite of the fact that everybody expects you to have a loving, sisterly relationship, BECAUSE YOU'RE TWINS! The next step is to figure out how to break free and yet stay kind. For me, I have had to do the no-contact thing, or rather, the way-less contact thing. I learned from Marissa Peer (a You-Tube helper) that anger is unexpressed hurt, and I have so much unexpressed hurt (because I was never shown how to express hurt in any way except nastily, and I didn't have it in me to get nasty unless I get drunk or fear for my life) that I am afraid of getting angry around the bully in a way that might land me in jail, as you so clearly and directly put it. Thank you for that! This is a very long thank you. Forgive me for not being more brief. I'm confident you of all people will understand, because of your tendency to go off on tangents, which is exactly what I do, because the tangent can be so clarifying to the main point. I think you might like a book called "Disappearance of the Universe" by Gary Renard. For me it has explained a lot of "the mystery." One of his top ten favorite movies is "The Matrix", so you and he are already on the same wavelength. And he is totally irreverent and unafraid to cuss, like you. No mamsey-pamseying around the point he is trying to make. That's what I love about your style. You don't allow the FORM to parade as the CONTENT. My twin sister has so often acted offended if I cuss as I'm trying to express myself, as if the cussing itself makes me a bad person. Meanwhile she seams deaf to my heart. I suppose one could say I'm doing a bad job of meeting her where she's at. I need to be more refined. I need be more polite. But it is hard to stay polite and refined when one has just been punched in the gut, FOR NO GOOD REASON! But I digress. I want to recommend "Disappearance of the Universe" as a way to say "Thank you" for your videos. If I knew your address, I would send the book to your address. Do I get the record for being your l o n g e s t email response? Well, if you can succeed in equating longevity with gratitude, then I will have succeeded in thanking you for sharing with the general, faceless public via you Tube your experience with getting more free. Sincerely, Cynthia Wesson

[@AntFlack]

This is one of the best descriptions of NPD behaviour I have seen. I've been researching the subject for six months now and like to think I understand it well, but this video makes the whole thing clearer still. It is perfect for anyone starting to learn about the heavy, complicated subject of BPD/NPD. Thank you Richard, this is a fantastic video.

[@blessedbeneurobeautiful]

I haven't been watching your work for quite some time, but just received an email that led me here today. I don't believe in coincidences and note that it's bizarre that I've encountered the need for such reminders of late! I guess I'm a lifelong "work in progress"(I've done previous courses with you, followed your teachings and read your book; when i desperately needed help) Life has taken me down other paths and onto other areas of growth...Today showed me that it's all the same in truth :) Thanks Richie...You are continuing to productively grow; which is the only way to truly pass on your teachings with any benefit. You are the real deal...NON SERVIAM!!

[@healingbean6236]

Richard this is absolutely one of your best videos, if not THE best. Thank you for the wisdom and validation and all of your hard work.

[@lisas1625]

Recently I was asked to help at my kids school gala - it triggered the f@@k out of me and I had an emotional flashback and went into a deep depression for 2 weeks. At the same time my friend had heart surgery and my daughter and her husband came to visit. I couldnt help at the school, visit my friend or engage with my daughter and her husband properly - which made me feel so full of shame. So I did a new thing I TOLD ALL OF THEM WHY - I told all of them that I had fallen into a deep depression and I hate myself for not engaging but I just CAN'T right now - the beautiful thing was they all understood. A beautiful, beautiful breakthrough. (Thank you Pete. Thank you Richard.)

[@yeahnahsweetas]

Good on you, it's like a big weight coming off your shoulders isn't it?

[@debrheinsmith7023]

I always felt as though we were adversaries, that he was playing a game, but I didn't know we were playing a game and he was never going to share the rules with me. So much of this video resonates with my own experience. Thank you, Richard. Understanding my patterns of behavior in the context of C-PTSD has been revelatory and life changing over the past few weeks. I'm so incredibly grateful to have stumbled upon your work.

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

Deb Rheinsmith,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist!!

[@alynnglo9172]

One of the toughest things to wrap your mind around was HOW - how did the Narc. Know so well how to make you crazy and doubt yourself? How did the Narc know how to spin certain lies to make them just a bit believable and, again, have you doubting yourself? How was the Narc. Able to say the right thing , at the right time to confuse and make you believe that you were the one at fault, you were the critical, judgemental, unfair, unhinged, immature, one with unreal expectations? As soon as I stopped wanting to know HOW this was happening and excepted that it WAS happening, that's when I started realizing that I needed to get out and stay out. Like other commenters have pointed out, that you are here wondering if you are the Narc. Probably means that you are not the Narc. Learn all you can about this subject through these you tubes and go No Contact! It will be very difficult and you will cry a lot but it will work-study just have determination and stick with it.

[@Vivian717-3D]

I agree that worrying about being a narc probably is a sign that you're not. Narcissists project - they don't own their nasty behavior

[@ajitkumardas7561]

Pertinent question. Narcissists r guided by Jezebel's spirit Devils skillful in cheating and studying mind. Stupid idiot addicted indoctrinated egoistic come under such evil spirit vampires witches Wizards kleptomaniac addicted indoctrinated vampire

[@kelley0404]

Perfectly said. Exactly what my older narc did to me. Even when you are caring and have legitimate concern for their well being - they make it your problem with the sickness- truly crafty in the art of projection and covert manipulation was mine. Your words about stop asking How or Why and just realize “it is” will wake you up. Been No Contact almost 5 months and Richard has shown me the way to recover from the madness and crazy making.

[@mikicalic9651]

If someone can make you crazy and doubt yourself then you are already crazy and doubting yourself. Here is answer for you and dont wrap your mind around it anymore. Truth frees .Forget who done you wrong and work on yourself so that it never happens again

[@sheilamc3420]

Nobody teaches us anything about our Darkside, well, at least nobody taught me. Instead I was told just NOT to have one.. It's Bad. About 4 years ago One of my teachers told me this advice at he end of a counseling session : "Enough about the light, Sheila, we all know you've mastered that one really well. What you need to do, kid, is learn to Navigate in the Dark. " Great advice for me!

[@Stardustceiling]

Sorry this comment is so long. I can't seem to just write in short sentences for the most part. The movie as their life analogy, is really helpful. That has actually been the worst part of coming to awareness in studying this subject of narcissism and co-dependency. That you were living, or attempting to live a regular life with love in it. They were in a competition with you and never saw your relationship as a win-win situation. YOU, diligently working away to make it so. THEM, sabotaging, undermining you, lying, doing all these things you couldn't wrap your head around because that's not love. Then they'd say the " lines " you needed to hear to keep you hooked and believing. It's like the movie " The Truman Show " and we're Truman. Sure as an adult we can understand about liars and manipulators out there in the world. But how do you understand the person you loved and trusted, was intimate with and slept next to for years, you thought a really good person, the best of people, secretly being one of them? Then once you realize it to some degree, because I still struggle with having been that used and gullible. Then how do you EVER love again? I know they say take it slow, and I can do that no problem. But I feel like this break up of everything I held dear and invested a large chunk of my precious life in, broke that ability to trust another. Also the other awful reveal is that all I've had in my life was these types of people. My parents, boyfriends and friends in the past all of them. Sure now that I know " how to see " them I can avoid them. But I feel as though I will end up alone since I have never attracted non-narcs. I want regular and non-disordered people in my life, where are they? It really is like what Richard used to say, like taking " the red pill " in the movie " The Matrix. " You can't go back and so you have to heal, but the healing seems so intangible. You just have to love yourself and take care of yourself and it just magically comes about. Dr. Ross Rosenberg says that when you do that, you don't attract them anymore. Sounds great, sign me up. lol But that seems too simple a statement and I wonder if for us who can't afford lots of time with a good psychologist....If it's more just avoid them and stay safe. Which sounds lonely. I feel isolated from others, and there isn't the connection I need, because everyone seems fake. At least in The Matrix he was surrounded by other people who understood and were like him. He wasn't alone. But in the real world you can't even talk about this stuff. No one would believe you and they'd think you weird. It's more like Alice in " Alice in Wonderland " some weird and lonely journey you take all alone. I know probably too many movie references, but they do help describe the feelings. It truly is like the knowledge of this sets you apart and everyone who is blissfully unaware are still going rather happily through their lives not " seeing. " How do you see, know, and still be happy? It feels like they're in a different world now. You can say it's a choice, but for me my dream was to have a loving partner in life and that seems now almost an impossibility with so many people being covert narcs. And that our society is all about narcissistic supply. Even you Richard joke about people hitting the LIKE button and that being supply. I literally don't do any social media except for overlong comments here on KZbin, because it's all fake, and narcissistic. Btw, I know I've thanked you in the past for your videos, but thank you again. They have helped alleviate some of the pain and loneliness. They really help. Best Wishes.

[@katc3091]

Stardustceiling. Don't know if you're American,... but if you were here you'd get a big hug. 💓 Yeah taking the red pill puts us all into a reality tunnel we were hoping didn't exist, but it does, always has. Stay strong and true to yourself.

[@MariaGoJa]

What an awesome timing this video! Richard you were coaching me in my dream the night before 😄 and I told you how I recently remembered many more occasions in which my mother was involving us kids in her lies almost on a daily basis (she also manipulated us into lying to other adults whenever it was in her benefit) and the next morning I got this video in my inbox 😌 ... now I not only understand how her lies were binding us to her, but also why I was afraid of attention and how I was always making myself invisible in public - even as a adult, because I always felt as if I have done something wrong.

[@bizinsky]

Truly appreciate your perspective. It makes me happy to know that someone as refreshing, honest, reflective, self aware and stunningly courageous as you is making this kind of channel go. Love love love your style

[@crystalhopkins3358]

Your work has been an integral part of my self healing. I am grateful for you pursuing your life's work. It makes a difference in the world. Sending love and light to you.

[@jengable4888]

The ugly truth is always welcomed ! I am tired of all of the lies, nonsense, and BS! Keep posting !! Great message !

[@1Wendy_Woo]

Liars are the worst! I just don't understand the liar. The inability of speaking the truth. {{perplexed}} Honesty is the best policy.

[@miac7088]

Yeah, and even worse than a liar? Someone who semi-consciously misinterprets the sun rising in the morning and moon appearing in the night sky. Then, that person goes on to misinform others and confuse plain reality with a more scandalous half truth. All while somehow, laboring under the misapprehension that they are speaking truthfully.

[@ajitkumardas7561]

Liars may not be manipulating. Manipulators lie and hide truth. Beautiful video.

[@marierose6792]

Richard, keep spreading your brilliance. You reach people in your unique way. My recovery from severe CPTSD has been helped immensely. I used the movie analogy when I tried to describe matters ,in my experience with pathological people in my life. One narcissist in my extended family actually acted out certain devious plots from movies and books, in reality. It was difficult to believe this when she confided in someone, until YOU actually experience it. I have been also helped by The Institute For the Reduction of Pathological Relational Harm, with Sandra Brown. I also have listened to Jordan B Peterson, to help my naivety about the world. Thank you.

[@raisingrealitybylindycowli8160]

Long time advocate / supporter of your work Richard just keeps getting better and better and better

[@healingbean6236]

and better : )

[@kathywilliams462]

Nailed it !

[@Feline-friend007]

I agree

[@mistyty8234]

What you say at 14:22 is exactly how I felt the whole time. I always said that I was cast in his horrid reality show without an audition, and he was most definitely the star, producer, director and overlord. Every point you make is 100% true.

[@gerry4281]

Honesty, honesty, with self and others!! Thanks Richard. Good to see and hear you.

[@vhayashi7369]

Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant knowledge and wisdom in such a clear simple basic way... You are helping countless people better their lives and shift their focus to Reality and Truth... Because without Truth we're not living an authentic life and can't ever be truly happy. God bless you in all that you do, I am so thankful for your time and energy and all the work you put into your videos. I am gaining so much insight and wisdom from your words. Thank you!!!!

[@janesees2]

Spot on! Thank you for "keeping it real", Richard. The BW/ light-dark format in your presentation really jives with the topics. I love your humor, your timing, your acceptance but most important is your authenticity. "The Truth Will Set You Free" by Alice Miller has been a big inspiration to me in ongoing C-PTSD recovery. Bless you.

[@SQHawaii]

You are hilarious! I love your mixture of humor and graphic communication. You don't mince words and you get the point across, ugly as it may be at times, but oh so necessary. Thanks!

[@stellazaliou6793]

The way you talk, your words, even the tone in your voice, comforts me, proves there is another world, the real world I need to discover. Your videos help me to move on every day. The reason I commented on that one is because I saw myself in the scene where he told me: 'If you don't like it, there's the door' and it was the minute I realized I had to uncover him (he proved to be a covert narcissist) and 'run to the hills' as you said once. Thank you for your help. You have no idea how much you are helping me and I it is for free! God bless you!

[@jenniferwright1052]

Holy shit. The movie set inalogy is exactly what my relationship felt like. Being in public or with people my ex wanted to impress, always in intimacy, was like being on a movie set. I'm still dealing with what I call terrible debilitating "performance anxiety". Thanks again for finding the words.

[@lisavanbuskirklmft7802]

Richard, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have made a deep difference in my life and journey to emotional freedom and happiness.

[@terrymondon7649]

Thank you Richard for these videos and getting me through the tough times. And YES, monsters are real😔😔😔

[@jmaguirephotography]

I always love your videos Richard but this one in particular is extremely profound.thank you.

[@joyearls8879]

jmaguirephotography .I agree completely.

[@joyearls8879]

I agree completely.

[@Inspirexpress]

True

[@nakuruhike7991]

Struggling to find words to praise you enough for providing this intensely truthful coaching. I’ve learned so much since following you. Dealing with life post narc abuse is horrific but thanks to you I have now changed my life for the better.

[@PrincessWinter]

"Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion." - Edward Abbey

[@debmccafferty1007]

Ex crashed and burned, texting phony photos. Ran

[@anjanabapat883]

The vibe is soothing and calm and the video is loaded with content. Awesome video!

[@micheledobb589]

Thank you Richard.Commenting in other section. Look forward to course, mental toughness and the coaching.

[@terrbear1866]

You have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you for your dedication and all that you do to help us Break Free of the chains of the covert narcissist. Many blessings to you.

[@heatherwhittaker6169]

Excellent video. I feel blessed to have found you Richard, and feel 100% better this past year.Thank you.

[@audraromero334]

Thank you for spreading the light of truth Richie, your channel has been a “lighthouse” to many of us that temporarily couldn’t gain a sense of direction once the darkness (cold hard truth) hit. Wishing YOU peace, love and happiness. God Bless, from 🌵❤️AZ ~Audra

[@Joebybreck]

Richard, I believe this is one the best videos you've ever done! Keep up the awesome work...lots of this stuff going on in this crazy world these days!

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

Your Mom,Hope you are not with a narcissist!!

[@LimitlessThinker]

I don't expect truth from many people. I never expect love. I know that truth and love are the best of our human condition. If someone has unconditional love, they should be forever grateful. Great video Richard.

[@HensleyDon]

I hope you never stop "rambling" in that eloquent, genuine way of yours. Your videos have helped me work through many aspects of my life both past and present. The very first time I checked out one of your videos I subbed and I've watched virtually every one on YT. The way you use humor is always spot on. One of the things I used to say when someone I was working with, whether at my day job or as a musician, was jerking me around was, "Hey.... If I wanted to get sh*t on I'd spend more time with my family!" [Grin]

[@Alimck333]

Revisiting your content always reveal new epiphanies, this one above I really needed today.. thank you for what you do.. blessings and gratitude

[@jenniferbarno5158]

Yes!! Perfect description..I am watching this daily! So excellent at real information.

[@catamish9338]

Awesome talk!! Love your animation and warmth! I’m on the ups and refuse bitterness and self pity !! Thank you for the soul talk! Peace and light to you dear Richard

[@JJ-vc6pp]

Great video Richard. The most useful, and sustainable, analogy for the relationship with a narcissist yet. As you expand the analogy out it illuminates every seemingly inexplicable behaviour. Facing up to reality and owning our part in maintaining the illusion is the only way out and up.Thanks.

[@flyprincess69]

This video changed my life. After months of looping 24/7. I have a new focus or challenge and that is live by truth

[@TheKantarella]

Yay, I love the long ramblings, thank you for doing it again :)

[@kindrablankenship4064]

Jordan Peterson has been a great inspiration in my own life after being forced to open my eyes around two years ago to the pain of a toxic upbringing and negative patterns I kept repeating in relationships. Couldn't agree more with what's been said here in this video. Like so many here on this planet, I'm facing monstrous parts of myself and realizing the power of truth and how much compassion had been warped/not provided in my own childhood. Lies truly bind, even when we think we know the truth, something comes up and forces that reality into our view. It's like ice on boiling skin. Good video Richard!

[@daniellejones6339]

Amazing! You help me understand so much...months ago I said to my narcissistic boyfriend I felt like a puppet in his movie because he ignored and discounted my feelings consistently. He just laughed..acted like I was crazy... I just saw this video...I should have trusted my intuition...crazy parallel!! Thank you❤

[@Celt_Dowunder]

Omg. So timely that this came up for me today. I’ve just extricated myself from the movie. I know I’m no saint but when someone is shouting and screaming at you for an hour and refuses to listen to what you ‘feel’ it’s terrifying. I mistook it for love. Thank you Richard. Thank you so much.

[@kelleywisneski7896]

You are amazing! Your gift is your message! Thank you so much for what you do Richard! (love love love the goofy, never stop playing)

[@mariarichards5221]

Thank you Richard, I really enjoyed your metaphorical analogy to the Big screen of life. Stars burning bright, energy supplies, great parallels. Thanks again.

[@lizmcgee1862]

Commit. Committed. You are so right man. I hit some hard walls this week. This is true validation to my minds chosen commitments.

[@flyprincess69]

This just changed my life forever! Thank you 🙏 !

[@elizabethteklinski6112]

BAM! This one needs a disclaimer. Your best work, this one here.

[@BettinaAscaino]

Truth be told, this video is great in so many levels. Thank you, señor. H/t to you.

[@blumystery8828]

Real eyes, realize... REAL lies😓🤕👀🦋💟🕊

[@ajitkumardas7561]

Lovely love

[@elizabethvandergeest8824]

Thank you for this quote. I think I will have this printed on a t-shirt.

[@blair3264]

@Parallax best call the cops.

[@deborahg1246]

Thank you for this video. After being discarded in relationships and work situations and lots of counseling, self work, I finally sat down and decided what I wanted. Since I’ve done that I have a feeling of freedom I haven’t felt before. I feel like happiness has arrived!

[@mattpater3405]

14:01 on brought about tears and very relatable. Once a month tossed aside, then once every couple weeks it felt like didn’t fit the script, then damn near once a week to maybe just a couple days. But I am the problem as havent followed exactly as told or given exactly as asked. My hesistence pointed out as I’m a liar and then reeled back in after having been fearful of talking to anyone about any of the going on and thinking I’m nuts. Thank you Richard for these videos and I will be looking into the life coaching side

[@Thewatermystic]

Keep em coming! After watching one of your other videos, I gave a thought back to my mother's life and realized how dysfunctional/ harried her life was.A business that went under, relationships broken, friendships broken (her friends were usually themselves crazy, larger than life personalities with crazy lives in the family or spouse sense).Then the inability to settle in one space (I moved six times in ten years between 2 and 12, not including seven houses and eight different schools and then of course I was a prime target for bullying) all because she wanted to pursue a second career that paid well for the choice she made in having a child and choosing a man that was a drunk, just like her father.As well as her choice in having a kid in the nineties, when the pill was readily available....she'd had nine, ten years between graduating from her masters and becoming a mother to have either changed careers or work steadily, instead of doing a business. I think she resented having me.There's no fucking wonder why I have chronic illness, is there?

[@missgossipwhisperer]

I really miss this style of video you used to do! So good! Thank you for your content I often times react to it and include it in my livestreams because I feel like out of ALL of the NA community you and SAM are the only ones that break it down in a way that is so distinct and unique it really gives the viewer a way to easily understand it! So thank you for your ongoing work you have given us here on youtube and all the other social platforms. -C

[@holly3503]

I love the idea that we are bright shining stars. Hell, yeah. Thank you! Great video.

[@katc3091]

From 14 minutes in OMG this is the best description of what living with this sort of person is like. Thank you Richard for all your videos. You're keeping me sane!

[@Mr13wonderboy77]

I would love to see a full interview/discussion with you and Jordan Peterson. BTW I'm glad you're back in good health, I always look forward to seeing your videos. Have a great day :)

[@karenwise5179]

I love your ways. Makes me feel comfortable. Lol, love your sense of humor. Lightens the moment. Better than a therapist by a long shot. 😊😊

[@elizabethstengard8318]

Thank you Richard for this video and all your helpful videos! You,re so spot on! Very helpful!! 🦋

[@frainer]

I have been around a full blown Narcissist all my life, my sister,,, lol one thing that I notice is that I cant be around her for more than 3 hours before arguing,,,,, she is like William Shatner on the Starship Enterprise and pushing all the dam buttons....

[@cheekyboy5000]

My sister is the same.

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Very well done much love and respect to you!

[@gdtimay]

This is the best video you’ve ever done by a longshot. I’ve privately felt and held the same beliefs for some time now. Absolute grand slam; THANK YOU.

[@jennfrazier1644]

As always, so timely! So many different aspects to recovery and this one you’ve identified brilliantly! I mustn’t let their infection cause me to lie.

[@faithoneill7167]

Awesome. Thank you Richard! Deep and illuminating.

[@rosej5029]

Please continue with the short and to the point videos you produce. There is an audience that appreciates concise informative videos that don't leave the most relevant information towards the last 5 minutes of a 30 minute or 60 minute video.

[@SilentFigure1]

Not sure how you surmised it all this way but dam you really made it make sense 23 years of being on a set. I was told it is "my way or the highway" took the highway again cannot live on an "Hollywood set" Thanks man!

[@4Beats4Me]

Wonderful comments! What a community! I thought I was the only one with 30 years in a marriage plus 5 afterward..! I am ready to learn. Thank you Richard & God bless.

[@JK-ly6wu]

Absolutely brilliant perspective... this is Exactly what they are, actors living in a fake reality to Feel like they’re Somebody. Sad Truth, but it does set you free🤮🎭🕊😘

[@texuztweety]

Yes Richard your work is so very important to me, your videos are so comforting, inspirational, and eye opening. I am so indescribably grateful for every video you have ever made. Stellar work!

[@alexcb01]

This is the way so many managers manage their staff in corporate life too

[@LaLabutterfly]

Alex Coppock-Bunce After thinking of my father.. I *LITERALLY* thought of my boss

[@alexcb01]

Yes I know the feeling! Prof Sir Cary Cooper has written a very good book on the Myths of Management which I think should be required reading for all managers - and for all parents- and all relationships in fact, it translates across rather well.

[@backfromthedarkalive]

Had a girlfriend recently who was subjected to this by a senior executive when she tried to address it was told she just had to `put up with it`..... The company was a major airline. So proud of her, she got out and told them why categorically. ... We have to be strong and stand up to this kind of thing.. so rife in the corporate world.

[@pastorjeanna]

Narcs are narcs in whatever arena they find themselves. Learning these things from this channel has helped me recognize them in action in my work. It's a little harder since those are not intimate relationships, but it does translate: competing with you, imitating you, the smear campaign (when all else to get rid of you fails), them wanting influence in the organization without responsibility...so much more

[@alexcb01]

Good for her. I brought a specialist in bullying into the Blue Chip I was working for because there were so many people being abused by toxic bosses- nearly all narcs as I now realise. I got a national award but some of them went underground. It never stops as even yesterday I was being patronised to death by another in the financial services industry and had to walk out.

[@xavierserrano4880]

Wow you movie set analogies and the behavior and how if someone starts calling out the lies and fraud it is…”you’re fucked” “hey the fuck out there’s the door” I experienced precisely this behavior. I’m in the beginning steps of healing and redeeming my crushed esteem and confidence. It’s insane how well they got me ensnared and truly consumed and obliterated my light. I have loved ones and life long friends tell me they’ve never seen me like this, defeated, insecure, not confident and physically visibly ill. The disillusionment I’m currently in and it’s BLEAK. And one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever experienced. Thank you so much Richard for your awareness and insight. I am going towards healing and dedicated to the practices that I know will take time.

[@kaleidojess]

I appreciate your videos a lot, and I’m glad that you’re on KZbin.

[@barbarabuchanan8152]

Mindfulness. Every moment in open consciousness and being grateful for every moment. Also with moments learning and ranges of joy.

[@everhopeful3957]

Thank you Richard for your videos this one in particular, sadly BPD/Narcs , I shared your work with my ex partner with CPTSD / BPD , My only hope is that he will see through his pretty lies and face his ugly truths , I recently left him because I couldn't take it any longer the pathologicall lied and deception and manipulation was too much . I have no idea if he can ever get help for his illness because his childhood trauma is so severe . I think he can't regress back to it ever fully to move on from it and that is the worst part When people on the receiving end have been subjected to the crazies of these situations it's bewildering and so painful and for me loving and trying to help him and then having to leave him as painful as I could imagine , but you have to get out for your own sanity and thankyou you once again you helped me achieve that ....your work is amazing .

[@carolyngriffin6458]

Really enjoyed this one on all levels. The info and your word pictures are excellent. And it feels like something - firm resolve? grace? - has settled in you. Your energy is so quiet and centered. Makes me glad to witness it. Thanks for doing the work you do, bright star friend.

[@natalyamilman4723]

Amazing. That's the truth. You said it in right words. Thank you.

[@angieland2856]

Great video. Thank you. Your sense of humor is refreshing 😊

[@justinalvarado7351]

I know you didn't mean to answer my question and give me a humbling moment in a time that I needed to hear. It's so pertinent to my situation. Thank you from all my heart.