Decoding The Narcissism - Schizophrenia Connection

[@Truthteller1s]

You've done it again. I'm speechless. You have a gift my friend. This video paints such a vivid picture of the disorder. Thank you for helping so many people.

[@RSPRenata]

Totally agree!

[@eldona7747]

Agree!

[@petemoore8923]

At around 13:00 is the most important part to me because I could spot this behavior in my wife. And this was before I knew anything about narcissism. She would slip up and repeat a past conversation or event and her version was completely different than what actually happened. She “seasoned” the event with her version of reality. She discarded me for somebody else and it was a blessing.

[@calistew2766]

And ironically the narcissist will gaslight you and try and make you feel crazy/schizophrenic

[@brandonmcalpin9228]

Fantasy based disorder is absolutely correct. I’ve always called it a defense mechanism from childhood, I couldn’t escape physically, so I escaped internally. I called it this prior to any psychology understanding. I just knew. I’ve always known this, yet I never knew it was a problem until 5 years ago. I recall the first time I took mindfulness, meditation, yoga and breath work seriously… I was appalled.. I could not believe how disconnected from reality I was. It was frightening. I was driving to work, using the driving time being mindful, focusing on my breath, be in the moment…. *slips into a comforting reverie* …”NO!” I shake my head and smack myself in the face. This is the.. idk about many times… I’ve lost count…that I’ve drifted off into LaLa Land. I breathe deeply and focus on the road, I focus on the feeling of the leather steering wheel, the AC blowing against my… *slips into fantasy* At this point I was discouraged and slightly afraid. I gave up on being mindful because I had realized, I’ve been driving 10 minutes and I’ve spent more time drifting into fantasy land than I have being present in the moment, this is with me TRYING. 😂 It was absolutely horrific. This isn’t just daydreaming, it’s intrusive, it’s instinctual.. it’s a part of me.. It’s almost as if I live life through this fantasy world. It’s so bizarre. This was almost 5 years ago, I’ve gotten a grip on it for the most part. It still happens against my will, but I’ve accepted that. I can live more presently now, but I don’t think I’ll ever dismantle it. Every trait of NPD is centered around Fantasy. It’s so strange to me how even Sam Vaknin says there’s no fixing NPD. And psychoanalysts seem baffled by it. It’s not that complex. Idealization and devaluation? Fantasy based, predominantly. The worst of it is anyway. Grandiosity? Fantasy based. Arrogance and sense of superiority? This 100% is because of our fantasies, it’s our fantasy world that makes us special. We often do not want help out of fear they’ll do something to us and permanently destroy our fantasy world. We don’t know how to cope without it. Even if they’re the most unaware Narcissist, they know this deep down, even if they can’t articulate it. Of course, there are primitive defense mechanism which aren’t integrated into fantasy, but you can’t even touch them if you can’t get past the literal fantasy realm that exists between their ears. You have to gradually lessen the intensity of it, lessen the dependence of it. You have to bring them out of the clouds and onto the ground in order to do anything. This could take years of mindfulness, meditation, breath work, yoga, psychedelics ffs, anything. They all work. It has to be daily. And no, you can’t use these things alone, I’ve tried, in the long term, it makes it worse. It’s like shining a bright LED floodlight upon all of our inner workings. It’s humbling. I call most people stupid, but I was humbled. Idk how to fix these defenses and firewalls. Idk how to dismantle the intricate alarm systems. I don’t. And the longer I practice these things, the more I notice it in every day life, the more I notice, the more I feel depressed, anxious, broken and unfixable. This has to be done with someone who knows NPD like the back of their hand. Someone compassionate and trustworthy.

[@jonvia]

The older I get, the more I realize how many of my family members are either narcissistic or are enabling the narcissism in those people. No wonder I always felt crazy around my family!

[@Stuff7164]

My "nex" even once said to me, "I'm my dad's golden child". Now I get it!

[@brightstar4321]

An ex I dated was a narcissist and he had a schizophrenic brother. At the time I thought: “How sweet; he helps take care of his mentally disabled brother”. Little did I know how similar at the core he was to his brother, both genetically and mentally.

[@theindependentstage8096]

A friend of mine is involved with a self proclaimed "neural divergent" He talked about a mentally ill brother same as yours. However, this man has now picked fights with almost every member of her family and most of her friends, myself included and encouraged her to buy a home last year, in which he moved in and 2 ½ months ago, encouraged her to quit her job. He also verbally abuses her 13yo Autistic son. Now she's at his mercy financially and she thinks she's in love. She came out of her previous marriage to another man( father of her 13yo son) who was verbally and physically abusive as well. I encouraged her to leave her previous husband no sooner had she done so, she was on the dating apps and met this off balanced POS. This guy defends pedophiles and groomers as well. There's more red flags than a May 1st Parade in Moscow but you can't tell her anything because she's in love and now isolated and tied to this manipulator. It's so f***king disturbing on many levels. Oh and he wants to get a gun too. I fear for her safety but can't get any authorities to investigate this situation.

[@dawidkotlinski]

@@conantheseptuagenarian3824 even though schizophrenia has a heritability of 0.8?

[@emmamonroe3311]

Same here. Mine was a covert narcissistic sociopath. They call these narcopaths. You may want to look up ASPD. Not all people with NPD have ASPD, but everyone that has ASPD, has NPD.

[@CharlotteCrummMarketing]

Schizophrenia and NPD run in my family down the same line. Interesting.

[@caroleminke6116]

Schizophrenia is heritable so wonder if he had a genetic component to the NPD

[@LornaSGal]

This is so enlightening. Believing you just have to love better, try harder, be more empathetic to achieve a 'breakthrough' to reach a consensus or deeper understanding with an NPD partner/sibling/parent is magical thinking. Breaking a trauma bond is very painful but trying to sustain a one sided relationship is diminishing & destructive.

[@MoonLitTails]

thank you for how u worded this.. go thru this every day...constantly second guessing everything...giving chance after chance...wish i could see my own relationship and family dynamic from another perspective..probably wouldve booted him long ago...but i feel stuck because im a stay at home mama..homeschooling..and have a kitty sanctuary...he knows cant just up and leave...

[@smoozerish]

This is Richard's best explanation of a narcissist to date.

[@soubimirage7933]

This video is exactly what I needed! For so long, I've been confused, wondering if my mom has schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. It all makes sense now. My mom's a war survivor and immigrant, so she's definitely dealt with a lot of trauma. On top of that, her own mother was narcissistic as well. She has these outbursts where she feels attacked and loses touch with reality. During these episodes, she boasts excessively about herself, even believing she could be president. When criticized, she plays the victim completely. She creates paranoid delusions about people stalking and targeting her, to the point where she thinks even the mailman or a random car passing by is one of her stalkers. These delusions seem to stem from her inflated sense of self-importance, like her life is a thrilling movie because she's so important, important enough to have worldwide conspiracies against her. She even believes people use black magic and constantly monitors our security cameras, interpreting shadows and lights as paranormal figures sent by her enemies. Here's the thing that confuses me the most: I point out how her behavior mirrors her own narcissistic mother, but she gets incredibly defensive. She resorts to low blows - insults about my appearance, past failures, or even digging up things from my childhood just to "win" the argument. She constantly brags about being the greatest mother ever, even lying about things in the past or exaggerating small moments. My dad seemed to be the punching bag, and I actually felt more emotionally connected to him because he was the nurturing one. It's even harder because of my own struggles: When she's in these grandiose states or expresses her delusional ideas, I get frustrated and rage out in uncontrollable anger. I'm working on this, but it's a difficult cycle to break. Her behavior triggers me, and I know it's not healthy. She can be very manipulative. She follows me around to express her views, even when I try to walk away. She'll even talk loudly to herself about me, clearly for me to hear. Her desperate need for admiration is exhausting. She'll fake illnesses or dramatically overreact about minor things. There's a pattern in her relationships. She fixates on marrying men from her home country who need financial help. She uses this "charity" as a way to boast and make herself feel superior. Her personality disorder is so extreme that she can't maintain healthy friendships. She constantly seeks out vulnerable people to give money to in exchange for praise. She even has this grandiosity about her past job as an interpreter. She inflates its importance to the point where she believes she was some kind of world-renowned philanthropist. The complexity is what makes it confusing: While her paranoia sounds similar to schizophrenia, there are inconsistencies. For example, she claims not to do any business in our town because it's "low class" and full of "criminals" who are supposedly out to get her. Yet, she'll break this logic when it suits her, like recently needing to use a local convenience store. This makes me think she doesn't truly believe her delusions; they're a way to inflate her importance. **Thanks to this video, I finally understand it's likely narcissism, not schizophrenia. But it's clear she also carries a lot of trauma. **

[@collie8]

sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I'm scared of you, but all I really want is to hold you tight

[@jessica_2024Fall]

So true and so real “ just kill me like everyone else had done to me since the very beginning “. They are always the biggest victim.

[@specialtwice4975]

I have family who are schizophrenic and family who are narcissists and the two couldn't be more different. 1.) Schizophrenia is a mental disorder. Cluster b or psychopathy/Npd/bpd, etc, is a personality disorder. 2.) A Schizophrenic, with medicine, therapy, etc, is practically normal. Most lead healthy, normal lives, have jobs, etc. And it's a spectrum. Some can have a few signs, some a lot. It's only when they have episodes (which might only last a few hours) that you will hear them talking about how they are talking to a dog (that isn't there for you), hear voices, etc. Once treated, those symptoms diminish and they are back to their old normal selves. Psychopaths, Npd, etc, don't see any invisble cats or hear voices and there is no medicine that helps them. It's a personality disorder. They pretend to have a broken arm for a whole week or tell you their grandma (who died 10 years ago) just passed away and they are sad and they go on with this story for a month until you find out it's fake and even then they continue with it. A schizophrenic won't do this. A schizophrenic's personality is NORMAL, except for their episodes they have on occasion, which isn't even a lot btw. Maybe once a year my family who has schizophrenia goes to a hospital for an episode. But when they get home they are normal again. A narcissist doesn't have this, they will yell at a cashier on Monday because they didn't get their tacos for free, and yell at at that same person on Tuesday, if they go again. Then they will demand special treatment from the spa they are at, make a big huff, and storm out without paying. This is a personality disorder. It's doesn't stop, it is constant. It's their personality. 3.)Both are a spectrum, some schizophrenia may just have one or two symptoms and don't need any medicine and are normal. Some need medicine all the time. Some people have narcissistic traits, while some have full Npd. ^hope this helps. But yeah, they are completely different.

[@amandaroberts5111]

Each person is different,my elderly brother is Schizophrenic and has NPD,seriously

[@specialtwice4975]

Yes some people, like your brother, can have both. Most schizophrenics don't have npd though.

[@birdlover6842]

Shame thatI there no medication or cure for NPD. Btw experts are thinking npd might really be a form of antisocial personality disorder.

[@bc986frAPBc]

I read somewhere that about 40 % of those who were diagnosed with Schizophrenia also have one or more personality disorders. So people diagnosed with Schizophrenia can also have a cluster B personality disorder diagnose.

[@Twinkie989]

Thank you for saying this.

[@crissyallen8692]

When there are children involved it is heartbreaking.

[@denisedeboer]

He is ALL things "ego-congruient", and has the nastiest temperment i have ever seen in a human being. I want out...I am literally stuck, and married to a full blown "covert/vulnerable/NPD ". I have no family members or friends that I could live with, or I WOULD be. I am currently working & saving money to leave this psychotic nightmare, and can't do it fast enough. All that you've said. Richard, about the NPD living totally in their own fantasy world, is oh so very true. I appreciate all the knowledge, and education you give.

[@gillianfrances]

You would be better off in a refuge than staying with this narcissist. I know from staying far too long the terrible harm that it causes.

[@patrickholland5478]

This is one of your absolute best, Richard. You've saved my life, I'm not joking.

[@victoriabenton8378]

Boy was this good and really explains it all. I have gotten trapped so many times by the switches of these changes and felt confused or like I could reach the into the fawn side. My family is this thick with this and so for me it has been a lifetime of confusion. I now merge the 2 together the fawn and fight so I don't fall into the mental trap anymore and exacerbate my own cptsd. I want out of it all. Thank you Richard!

[@lumikello6579]

This!! Thank you!! I have been thought my 88 years old mother is schizophrenic and narcissist!! She speaks alone A LOT. Sometines she is quite normal but usually just crazy. Like Golum from The lord of The rings - she has two personalities. Oh my god - this clip is pure gold, greetings from 🇫🇮

[@woutje280]

😂

[@thecustodian1023]

Grandma Smegal. You don't want to be her 'Precious."

[@apatheticxmindsetx3549]

Yeah that kind of what psychosis does to you.. Have you ever had a psychotic episode?

[@lumikello6579]

@@apatheticxmindsetx3549 No, I haven't, I wrote about My mother🙌

[@CroisMoi]

This is why I sometimes describe my mom as A Box of Chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. Great video. xxoo

[@Theowlhawk]

All the love, kindness you give feels wasted, they can't appreciate or value it

[@teachertracee]

It isn’t wasted because it was right for you in the moment. It was you being your authentic self.

[@Theowlhawk]

@@teachertracee thank you 😊 🙏 💓

[@carriepaulson7048]

Can I just tell you Richard I absolutely understand everything you’re explaining here thanks to listening to you for nearly 10 years now. I no longer suffer trying to get my parents to be in reality, they are not and never will be. I grieve knowing that their lives are so fake and sad but they no longer hold any power over me, and no other person ever will again either. A thousand thank yous, truly.

[@gwynparry88]

Schizophrenia is not a split personality. This is a poor if not a misleading use of the condition, its symptoms and definition. It’s generally understood especially amongst mental health practitioners and professionals that schizophrenia does not have a ‘split personality’ feature and is instead a specific set of symptoms categorised within the psychosis spectrum (‘positive’ schizophrenia symptoms) and some outside of this spectrum known as ‘negative’ symptoms. None of these symptoms associated with a schizophrenia diagnosis has any distinct cormobidity with the 9 traits of NPD. This ‘split personality’ idea of schizophrenia (as described in this video 6:12) or otherwise it being associated with a pervasive personality is not only incorrect but belittling and unfair on people suffering from schizophrenia; a debilitating and distressing condition; especially when also used as a comparison to NPD etc. Richard is spot on with so many things and seems like such a fantastic and inspiring guy, especially how he has pioneered some effective methods of understanding and recovering from NPD-based abuse, however, the use of schizophrenia here is lacking in expertise, is totally off-piste and misleading and (sorry to be a snowflake) quite unfair on people with psychosis/schizophrenia, which are already highly stigmatised.

[@evalmunchkin]

100% agree!

[@LittleOne712]

I completely agree. My daughter has schizophrenia and I’m totally shocked how off base he is here connecting schizophrenia to NPD.

[@beckyharrt]

I think you are misinterpreting what he is saying

[@sonyxperia7881]

Schizophrenia can't be related to split personality or narcissism?? Please reply

[@MommaRose956]

That’s not at all what he’s saying.

[@karenabrams8986]

I can’t with my mom ever again. That sounds exactly like her.

[@kimreynolds6747]

I work with schizophrenic individuals in a group home for years. My ex husband is a narcissistic. I can honestly say when my schizophrenic clients are on there meds they are the most grateful individuals in the world. When they choose to off there meds, you can't work with them at all. Its extream. So, yes, this video is accurate. And I can tell you that working with my clients is way easier than working with my exhusband. And I have gotten a lot of insight about narcissistic behavior working with my clients. Schizophrenic individuals display a lot of narcissistic behavior.

[@tulsibloom]

You are incredible! This video explains my ex EXACTLY! I just left him almost 3 weeks ago and i am getting plenty of help 🙏🏼...i knew i needed to leave and one of your videos gave me the final touches of strength in addition to a friend of mine that kept telling me i "wasn't crazy"... listen to people that TRULY care about you!!! That includes you Richard, you are truly a gem to KZbin and saving countless people. I am grateful to you. Amen & Namaste 🙏🏼 ❤

[@gemelindacjp7976]

Thank you for talking about why narcissists are the way they are instead of painting them as evil.

[@joelhenry5489]

The thing that stood out to me about my narc ex is no matter how mean or dismissive she was of me. No matter how much she said she didn't find me attractive, wanted me to shut up, or just needed me for sex, the way she pined after me for years after I broke contact. Never has anyone who wanted me so much disliked me so much.

[@catherinebailey2131]

Yes, the "comeheregoaway" is maddening, I agree.

[@ST-yc7uj]

She is a borderline I suppose.

[@Timetomakethedonuts28]

Because she's not controlling you anymore. She misses the dynamic of her power over another. It just happened to be you

[@cloudmountaindog8537]

Thank you for this clear, articulate description about how the hot - cold dynamic works. It’s so interesting that my partner at the time used “schizophrenic” to describe my family member’s behaviour and I had basically normalised it having coexisted with it by hiding for a few decades. He woke me up to the fact that something was very wrong with this person. I attempt grey rock but am very close to no contact thirty years later. Every time we interact it’s like dealing with a different person. It’s totally discombobulating even when I’m keeping it extremely minimal.

[@remibaret876]

This video is probably one of the best I have seen from Richard. I’ll watch it again. Stay strong everyone, you’re not alone.

[@RSPRenata]

My God....😱 This video was sooooo enlightening! And I have been into this narcissist subject for almost 3 years! Trying to understand these crazy but fascinating creatures. I just broke my 6 years relationship with a narcissist partner recently, for the tenth time (this time is for real...). It was a very tumultuous marriage, lot of pain, lot of lies, lot of fights. But was also a one of a time experience. Never loved someone like I loved him. Never desire a man like I desired him. Was it worth it? For me, tottaly. I would even do it again. Do I recomend? No. If you don't have a very good sense of self and a VERY good self esteem, it will destroy you. Anyways, I just want to say that the way Richard synthesize how the comunication is made was brilliant. Not even Sam Vaknin did it so clear, in my opinion. Thanks Grannon! PS: Sorry if my text have some writing issues, english is my second language. I'm from Brazil.🇧🇷

[@caroleminke6116]

Glad you’re recovering

[@beeman7711]

You need to seek help😐

[@Toadhouse2003]

They are definitely difficult to break from. It’s interesting how much we love them. I’m curious as to why you say you would do it again? In what ways was he special & how did he make you feel happy when times were good? Love to hear your story. Thanks!

[@justb4116]

Greetings from Scotland, Happy (yester)Day of Lady of Aparecida 🕊️

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

The narcissists that tortured me would avoid any type of email or text. In person, full frontal contact was their favorite m.o. I did get video on an old cell phone and that person illegally entered my home and erased part of the footage. Most of them have multiple "secret" cell phones, emails and even post office boxes. Thank you for the clarity and your God given gift to unscramble chaos.

[@whenyourcookiecrumbles307]

I follow your work and have found it spot on. This specific video is extremely insightful in naming the confusion. Naming how tragic NPD is. And provides legitimate context and examples about what the heck is going on. Your work has the potential to HELP so many people. Thank you.

[@annekenney6914]

I always saw the switching from saying horrible things to ah shucks we love each other as just a manipulation, that they don't have any morals or standards of behaviors. I thought it showed that they don't have empathy or care about the other person. They just want to win.

[@isaleal4597]

This is the most spot on description of my experience. It was so layered and terrifying. Thank you.

[@Timetomakethedonuts28]

Ditto

[@tessen58]

I think this is one of your best videos to date and you got it, spot on! Thank you.

[@SeeTheTravisty]

This makes me so sad But ultimately grateful for the journey to healing and understanding my own CPTSD from childhood abuse and incarceration.. These wounds of mine would never have been exposed without this abuse. And I would have carried on in silent pain , forever. I love and care for this woman so fucking much I know I can’t But it makes me fucking well up in tears because I can’t help her I know now that I’ve caused so many narcissistic wounds , injuries and a mortification that she will never trust me And she’s done so much harm to me and my family that we can never trust her. All I can trust in is God and my mother…and knowing I needed this to spawn this creative and intellectual renaissance in my life

[@aspiemom6044]

Richard Grannon you are a freakin GENIUS!! I have no idea where you come up with this information, but I’m sooo grateful for you! You’ve helped me immensely to make sense of the nonsense I’ve lived in my entire life. Blessings Brother 🩵

[@Theowlhawk]

My mother is this..... Yet why do I feel sad for her? I had to go no contact at 57, as my health can't deal with the confusion, insanity. I feel sad, grief and my mother was never really there! But A shell, a robot, a false self, an emptiness is what I feel, a void, like a ghost , not real, connection if this makes sense. I wish I didn't feel anything for her, be much easier to move on........

[@Timetomakethedonuts28]

💯 relate to this

[@wallymarcel1]

Brilliant, Richard. The missing link. Loved your lectures in LA and hope you come visit us again. BTW, I can now discern that Vaknin’s crazy diatribes against you were the “fight” response.

[@CroisMoi]

I have watched this several times and have a better understanding each time. Thanks Richard.

[@jackskyeluke]

A wealth of knowledge and insight again, loved the simple test of looking at their text messages only only Fight and Fawn all of them - Wow, Clarity light bulb moment 🤦‍♀️

[@alwaysseekbalance]

best theory i have ever heard on these channels. exactly correct. this is what happened, it will literally drive you insane if you let it. how do i find these people and love them. smh.

[@JODell-g6n]

This is the most technical explanation yet validating of not just “why I’m so confused” but HOW I’ve been so confused psychotherapeutic content I’ve seen on YT… 😢it’s been at least a decade. Brilliant work. Thank you… wow. Keep educating us… until we never need to return to your videos. (Because we finally got it, and healed).🎉

[@GraceOh-x2t]

Thank God for letting me see your videos to keep me sane

[@kirkhensley5870]

0:07 Awesome edit! 2:22 "You must relinquish hope." Yes! That's so right on! So you have met my Shakespeare-loving brother. 😅

[@dixieflatline1189]

I have unfortunately seen this exact thing. Over the course of an hour coffee shop chat with an inlaw, 3 different behaviours - all different to the person I would see in group events. Because these were extreme shifts initially came away thinking “this is nuts, does she have different personalities”?. I remained polite and an active listener throughout. I have seen her since in group family events, what I notice now is the effort she goes to to maintain “normal” facial expression.

[@markbradshaw7282]

It took me so long to figure out what was going on with these push-pull, whiplash-inducing changes of behavior. I can definitely see how people would think it was a split-personality type of situation. Really though, after you've been through it enough times and see a pattern, you start to understand that it's a form of control and manipulation. They are desperately trying to maintain power and control in every situation so they will flip their entire demeanor in a split-second if it's advantageous for them - it doesn't really have anything to do with rationality, consistency or fairness. Example of this happening to me: Narcissist lies to me and thinks I won't be wise to it, I make a small joke acknowledging that she contradicted something she said previously. Her immediate reaction is rage ("What the fuck is your problem?") and trying to bully me and intimidate me into apologizing (for catching her in a lie and pointing it out). I don't take the bait and continue to just go about my night, acting relaxed and calm. She now has a chip on her shoulder from being called out and wants revenge on me but realizes trying to intimidate me will not work, nor will it lure me into a fight. Because that strategy failed, she then switches to fawning. Now she's sitting around pouting, telling other people that I'm mad at her and don't want to talk to her (complete lie). This is all an attempt at making me feel sorry for her and making me think that it's safe to interact with her. I stupidly took the bait and asked her if she wanted to come with us to the next bar we were going to - her response immediately switches back again to rage ("Why the fuck would I do that? Get the fuck away from me!") I just walked away, again pretending like nothing happened. She's now frustrated because she can't get a proper reaction out of me. So then she resorts to texting me telling me she can't believe I would treat her that way (no idea what she's even referring to) and says I need to apologize. When I won't give in, she ends the conversation and gives me the silent treatment for literal months. It can make you feel crazy dealing with this sort of behavior because none of what she said was ever an accurate reflection of what was going on in reality. But it was because it didn't matter - it was always her just shifting the goal post, changing positions, changing attitudes, and doing whatever she needed to in order to manipulate the circumstances to be in her favor. Once I realized this, I would just let her spin herself around in circles, outing herself as just faking being "sad" or sorry when she would inevitably become enraged when it didn't get her what she wanted. I would just have to let her work herself up and convince herself that I was a terrible person for.....being nice to her.

[@LastCall534]

Sounds just like my ex girlfriend. Always creating a situation, but never taking responsibility for it. Lies, upon lies, upon lies, I'm not even sure who she really is at this point. I was good as gold to her the entire time, now I'm the horrible person that she won't look at or speak to when she frequents my workplace (liquor store).

[@theodorelukasz912]

I 100% can relate to this in my experience. Whats more confusing is trying to see from the point of view of this type of charater. Its insanity and biggest mistake is trying to figure out this type of mind.

[@summersled5635]

It is important to point out that there are times when our fears about the traumatizing narcissist are justified. Most of us who are in abusive relationships only become aware that we were in one, after we are out. The process of leaving an intimate partner abuser bears all the cardinal features of a person exiting a cult, when the abuser has resorted to intimidation, humiliation, and belittlement to subjugate us. Many of us are in a state of denial, and unable to believe that another human being would resort to such sadistically cruel means to control us. I remember by shock while at the Emergency Department at the Bradenton Hospital in Florida, being asked my an Emergency Physician, whether I had been the victim on Intimate Partner violence. "Of course not," I told him, while hiding what happened in the motorhome because my husband told me, "don't tell." I assumed that he didn't want me to say that he had slammed on the brakes and thrown me into the front console because his insurance rates would go up. In retrospect, after he refused to accompany me on three follow-up occasions, that he was trying to harm me.. Men who abuse women will not hesitate to weaponize a car against a spouse to intimidate and terrorize her. It is very difficult to seek help in these situations because we feel a deep sense of shame. Recognizing the traumatic narcissist's tactics in keeping us in a prison of shame and fear is the goal of Daniel Shaw's book, The Traumatizing Narcissist: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear. Thankyou Richard.

[@Amandalooper]

BRILLIANT!! Deep Gratitude ❤

[@annburns5405]

Thank you Richard. This video helps me to understand my ex husband of 30 years He dislplayed Narcassistic and even Sociopathic traits but could also be very attractive emotionally and physically, until he was different and did and said horrible stuff he always denied. But one day he did cry and said he was like a Schizophrenic family member and even said although it's hard for me living with him, it's harder for him the way he is. This all got forgotten as his behaviour got worse, all got projected onto me and he left me. 7 years later I still feel he is very sick and can still miss him.

[@dmj8020]

My ex narcissist was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Very violent and beat me often breaking my bones with permanent injuries which required surgical interventions.

[@pattysnyder4822]

This was really helpful Richard. Yes, I had always noticed the grey area...is it narcissism and or Schizophrenia aspects of what appeared to be multiple personalities? Thank u for being forth much needed education and understanding. I absolutely met the 4 year old, which became the dominate aspect as my leaving became more evident. That part of him was terrified of the abandonment, but he made my life a living hell just the same. I have been out and on my own since April and happily recovering for the last 6 months. I prepped as much as possible ahead of time before departing. Doing better every day with zero contact and positive support through family and friends. ❤

[@amandawallace9425]

One of your most concise videos yet and cross checks with texts I have to this day. Thank you for your research and a a super confirm that this experience can leave you unempowered with the shredded logic and linguistics👍🙏😀

[@RogueNeighShun]

My NPD wife was raised by a schizophrenic. I have trouble wondering what im dealing with. She finally agreed to get back on meds... so there is hope. Thank you for your content.

[@beeman7711]

Hope? No, there is no hope for someone with NPD, I tried, tried, and tried with my ex-w, she admitted there was a problem and tried to correct her behavior but she'd always revert to her narcissistic behavior. As heartbreaking as it was I had to abandon her💔

[@apatheticxmindsetx3549]

What kind of medication and for what exactly?

[@RogueNeighShun]

@@apatheticxmindsetx3549 cymbalta for anxiety and depression.

[@smoozerish]

She doing the crystal meth 😅😅😅.....that's the only thing that cures a narcissist

[@antheredhen]

Holy crap.. This explains so much.. I'm remembering times I've gone with him to the doctor. Later he'll say the doctor said blah blah and I'm sitting their thinking No he didn't! So much gets turned around to fit the narrative he wants.. I've constantly wondered if he was a sociopath.. He's mostly OK with me because I never challenge him and he's in a competition with his brothers they've been married 8 times between them. I'm only his second wife for 33 years and he brags on that to them.. I guess he plans on winning some prize?

[@DavidThomasmusician]

This is an important video for me. Thank you! I can't figure out where the schizophrenia ends and the NPD begins with my ex. Really looking forward to getting some answers from this video.

[@specialtwice4975]

I have family who is Npd and family who is schizophrenia. The two are not from the same family. Different trees/different gardens,etc. This is how I know the difference: Schizophrenia is a mental disorder. Cluster b or psychopathy/Npd/bpd, etc, is a personality disorder. Both are life long, but both are different in how they work/appear. A Schizophrenic, with medicine, therapy, etc, is practically *normal* Most lead healthy, normal lives, have jobs, etc. It's only when they have episodes (which might only last a few hours or a day) that you will hear people talking that the schizophrenic is talking to a dog (that isn't there for you), hearing voices, etc. Once treated, those symptoms/voices diminish, and they are back to their old normal selves. (Their regular personality) Psychopaths, Npd, etc, don't see any invisble cats or hear voices, and there is no medicine for personality disorders. It's a personality disorder. Npd will pretend to have a broken arm and not go into work. Or they tell you they got a new job when they didn't, and you find out for the past 8 weeks they have been hanging out at a bar with the pretty bartender Sally. Or an Npd tell you their grandma (who actually died 10 years ago) just passed away and they are sad. :( "I miss my grandma soooo much" They go on with these stories for MONTHS until you find out it's fake and even then they continue with it. *A schizophrenic won't do this* I repeat, a schizophrenic doesn't do this. A schizophrenic's personality is NORMAL, except for their episodes they have on occasion (which isn't even a lot btw) A narcissist doesn't have this or do this. It is constant. It's their constant personality. They will yell at a cashier on Monday because they didn't get their tacos for free, and yell at at that person again on Tuesday, if they go again. And again a year later too. On holidays, they will demand special treatment at Christmas, birthdays, etc, and if they don't get it will make a big huff, and storm out of the room OR try and make it about them. This is a personality disorder. It's doesn't stop, it is constant. It's their personality. A schizophrenic doesn't have such a personality, they are like you and me except when they have a mental episode on occasion. Otherwise they are normal people, like you and me. Hope this helps.

[@elizagray1397]

​@@specialtwice4975 thank you. this video is a very dangerous and a misleading comparison. Richard and people commenting are viewing schizophrenia though a `stereotypical` lens. I feel this is very harmful to the loved ones of schizophrenics. @RichardGannon you have great insight regarding toxic people but you are out of your depth with this one.

[@DavidThomasmusician]

@@specialtwice4975 thank you for that reply. The schizophrenic traits that I have personally been witness to very closely resemble the traits of NPD. That's actually what led me to Richard's videos. I have been trying to determine, based on my experiences, if she could potentially be schizoaffective or if the schizophrenia could just be narcissistic rage at a superhuman level. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run, but I can't help but search for answers at this point. Really appreciate you taking the time to respond.

[@apatheticxmindsetx3549]

Why wouldn't that person just have bipolar disorder? People I've seen with schizophrenia were just odd, paranoid and had very strange beliefs of religious and supernatural related things or felt the government was after them.

[@auntieb3621]

POWERFUL!!!!!That clarified a ton for me thank you❤❤❤

[@drmowafy]

It's crazy how as a son of a narcissistic parent, one can feel like he himself might be a narcissist and he just doesn't know.

[@vhayashi7369]

Richard THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your insight and knowledge! You're absolutely Brilliant and I love listening to you and I shared this with my friends. Love you so much! God bless you for all your hard work! 🙏💜💖💝😁

[@Bea-wb9uk]

Thank you Richard. It makes a lot a sense.

[@janecoons592]

My narc told me he was diagnosed schizophrenic. He's the total package.😮

[@julieweatherford5346]

Wow!!! This is truly eye opening. Thank you, Richard. Definitely solves a riddle or two I’ve been grappling with for ages.

[@elizabethcampbell9474]

I did feel exactly that way. And I asked him if I needed to take him to the hospital multiple times!!! In a loving and kind and understanding way.

[@Blij-en-Ga]

Clearest , most sensible view on NPD I have ever heard. Keep up the good work!

[@adimeter]

Thanks Richard. You're helping to make this confusing phenomenon more and more clear. I'm getting there.

[@bonnywhite8205]

Thank you Richard! Brilliant explanation

[@elizabethcampbell9474]

Shivers down my spine. You just described my experience in complete detail. I’m absolutely shocked. And so thankful that I learned this. However “late” it is as I’m 3 months no contact it’s still extremely helpful.

[@triple999fruitful]

Makes sense, I understand this better now. Thank you.

[@blivion]

Thank you. Very much needed this. Struggling to go no contact with someone with this exact behavior. The child like fawning they do keeps me a prisoner. I feel absolutely crazy at this point. I know I need to say goodbye, but completely overwhelmed with guilt. Your knowledge about this is a life saver

[@johnhart5972]

Brilliant and spot on as always Richard - the book by Pete Walker is a fantastic audiobook to assist. Thank you for helping others.

[@nonserviam12345]

Excellent video! It really validates us,the victims. Thank you! 🙏

[@MarlaDalzell]

Fantastic video! Thank you! I have studied NPD for about 20 years...and you have just tied up lose ends and pulled together & confirmed ideas that I have has about duel personality...NPD, the 4 F responses and why it occurs.

[@jaibhagwangiri2985]

Good evening Sir ! Your have TRUE knowledge about NPD and Psychosis / Schizophrenia I salute you.

[@patriciaupdegraff8592]

Fight or Fawn. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. You never know who will show up, but, for sure, it is one of the two. I also think they can reserve one of their two personas for certain people they interact with, and use the polar opposite with other individuals. That explains why you and another person seemingly know completely different people - cause they are!! They use whatever serves them in the moment. Listen to the way a narcissist answers the phone. Sometimes, you can catch the shift from fight to fawn right in that moment!

[@george0t]

I very much relate with what Dr. Greenberg said about wanting to deal with people on my own terms, including having my own corner/space/office where I do my work from, and having control over my immediate environment. But Covid actually had the opposite effect on me, and I hated it. It forced me to isolate more than I already was, and in ways I didn't find conducive to any long-term gain or contentment. I was already able to find ways to do my work in peace and isolation, and if I struggled with anything it was figuring out ways to "put myself out there" and connect with people outside of those bounds, both on a professional and personal level. And Covid just made everything worse.

[@ddean1420]

It sounds like you have met my Nex! You've nailed it, again! Well done 👍 RG.

[@SpecialAgent666]

And this is why it is hard to label people out right because it can be psychopathy or sociopathy. The Schizophrenia like the other 2 personalities can be complicated to recognize in some people due to some complexities in life that can shape a person. That's why sometimes they compound it by calling the person sociopathic psychopath or maybe a psychopathic Sociopath but then he or she does something 🤔 rather normal or odd that might not fit the textbook description and now you're wondering what to label him or her under now.

[@zombcell6]

Thank you so much for this video I have bipolar disorder and my ex weaponized it against me to the point I didn’t trust my own perception. They made stuff up and even made people turn against me. Thank you so much

[@emilieshin]

This is so true and I was trapped in a forgiving and raging cycle with a man.

[@lloydburchmore8003]

Thanks so much for this particular video. It explains everything I had confusion about. Nearly two years in recovery, without contact. Getting there.😊

[@rosatrula]

There's a whole other way of looking at it - they were born like this.

[@malcolmnaylor8381]

Hit the ball out of the park today man. Cheers, Australia.

[@TR-nv3if]

Yep, sounds exactly like my partner. I’ve gleaned over the yrs that his mom was so very extremely psych. and vb abusive. I knew her a little , heard funny stories ( which I thought were not funny but cruel) It’s sad, he didn’t have a chance, he was destroyed starting at least at age 4. I know what I know, after hearing stories and myself, being around his mom, & seeing the narc’s behaviors…but interesting, he idolizes his mom. His relatives ( I think) are in total un reality of how his mom treated he and his sister, etc..yep, like they say, you need to save yourself and get the H out. My parents taught me about con artists, we’d see them on tv movies, carnies etc…this video describes all the toxic behaviors exactly well.

[@KremenaMehiar]

Thank you for the clear picture!

[@pjmrees]

I think that was one of your best videos. Thank you

[@snapdragon909]

Schizophrenia is catogirically not split/multiple/dissociative personaliity disorder - two separate clinical entities

[@marierose6792]

This video has put to rest the cognitive dissonance that is a crucial battle for many. I have asked "WHY" for 8 long years. My X said that he was just playing a role, being a model ( but sneaky, crazy making husband). What intrigues me, and does not get serious enough attention, is when a person talks about himself, in the third person. My former husband would describe himself saying, " ( His name) does this and would never do that... etc." I want to ask, so WHO is the person that is describing " John does this and John feels that.." When it is John that is talking? The split is so evident. There is a US politician that does this and it is scary as hell.

[@freedomwarrior5087]

This is a curious situation. Sounds like more than splitting.

[@kaphrynlee]

Thank you for pointing out the texts.

[@nezmirage9565]

Great talk Richard!

[@KarynCain]

@richardgrannon you’re the BEST! 🙏

[@maaikekamstra7353]

You nailed it. So clear. Thank you to break it down.

[@mandrenshaw5069]

Best video I can relate to so far. My narc physically abuses me, leaves bruises and marks all over my body, then he accuses me that these bruises are proof that Ive been with someone else having sex with them. I've often thought he was schizo and doesn't remember doing it but this makes way more sense. Thank you

[@teachertracee]

This also tied back to a video I saw recently from Dr. Sam Vaknin. He says that narcissists will confabulate (make up) an internal reality to explain away their own bad behavior. After all, the narcissist couldn’t have possibly put those marks on you. He is perfect and god like in his world.

[@musfee7682]

I'm cheering, this is spot on

[@kaitlincox9714]

Mine has a child with a schizophrenic. He did say they were very similar. Trying to communicate with him is like we are speaking two different languages. He has his own dialogue and delusion of what we are arguing about. A completely different subject even. Its maddening. Then they turn around and scream outside about how insane you are. How there is something so wrong with you. My fault. I shouldnt try to hold a 42 year old accountable or he will throw a tantrum. Got it.

[@evapawlowska]

So inability to process trauma = increasing break from reality, until all doors are closed. Maybe I’ll do the course soon. It’s so common. Permeates everything. Short of leaving this world there’s no way to get away from it, and maybe even then. No way out but through haha.

[@turbodownwarddog]

OMG!! This model fits my reality in dealing with my NPD partner. I did think she was schizo!

[@LynneLeverton-qm6yt]

My x husband wrote on a piece of paper that I was schizophrenic (obviously projecting)..Funny thing was, he couldn't spell, so he'd written I was schizopicnic instead. I howled laughing, which he wasn't best impressed about!

[@AndreeaPrisacariu]

Thank you, Richard. Right on time for me. 🙏❤️🌠

[@gparker7983]

Thank you for this explanation. Jekyll and Hyde personality, which I wondered if it could be schizophrenia. The personality switch was as quick as flicking a switch.

[@wintergoddess8210]

Iam so glad you brought this up my ex malignant husband of 34 years and 6 children he tryed to strangle me to death in August 2021 he and his whole family planned my death to take all our money and assets from us i lost our house of 20 years divorced him in May 2022 and him and his whole family maliciously still stalk me after i put him in jail 2 times with a restraining order from the court he’s fighting to take off this December he’s always been obsessed over me since middle school and there all vengeful people but i learned at the end of our marriage they were all schizophrenics .thank you 😊

[@kennethhubbard695]

According to YT, I've watched over 3K videos on NPD, but this one is a gamechanger for reality. First time hearing about Karpman Drama Triangle. Rescuers are trying to make sense out of the nonsensical! 😢

[@teachertracee]

Rational people really struggle when they step into the mental landscape of the narcissist. It is a completely irrational world.