Life-Size 2: The Totally Necessary Sequel to Life-Size (Movie Nights)

[@lotus-prince]

I had to come by and compliment you on your impressive video!

[@toastlover]

Lindsay Lohan totally needs to make a response movie and recast Tyra with Naomi Campbell

[@MyssBlewm]

I would watch it.

[@chickenlil180]

That would be a really dark horror movie.

[@Madkalibyr]

toastlover SHOTS FIRED

[@bongchoof]

I love this comment.

[@125loopy]

Man a Naomi Campbell doll would be gorgeous

[@user-lb9xw4xf2q]

Tyra's acting is like a fine wine... that has been left in the sun, next to an open sewer.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

And sometimes is just a fine whine. ( 2:19 )

[@Arrowdodger]

The Eves being sent on missions just makes me think of this movie's setting as "Rescuers, only really stupid and confusing".

[@Batsage]

Life-Size 3: Eve Down Under

[@jacobrichardson3647]

I was not expecting the evil dead movies to be cannon in this universe

[@Tareltonlives]

Klaatu Barada SMIZE

[@dreamlandnightmare]

Now THAT would have been a crossover! Can you imagine Bruce Campbell as Ash in this?

[@jarnevanvooren2984]

There was that scene in the first episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead where he fought a demonic doll.

[@Fanimati0n]

@@dreamlandnightmare Ash Williams vs a hoard of Tyra Bankses is something I'd pay to see

[@outlawrip-offartist4161]

After watching this review honestly I think I turned into Ash from evil dead anyway.

[@StarlightPrism]

Even when I was a kid, I thought the premise of the first movie was kind of weird. Like, not the doll coming to life, that's pretty standard kid movie stuff. But the doll coming to life because Lindsay Lohan steals a freaking book of dark magic and no one ever really acknowledges "holy shit, dark magic is real!". They just go on wacky adventures with a living Barbie doll. And that's great. I didn't bother looking into the sequel, but seeing this, I really gotta check it out!

[@Daniel-yy5tx]

Do you think the chef's family bought copies of his doll because it looked like him and they wanted his nieces and nephews to know what he looked like

[@kovulover]

Damn, Daniel

[@apanapandottir205]

yo what the hell man

[@juliagoodwin9510]

Oh God why?!?!

[@DiarraHarris]

"LIFE SIZE 3: DOLL HELL!"

[@DalekTheSupreme]

Hmm... Escape From Doll Hell!

[@michaelchallis4129]

A big old weirdo: The role Tyra was made for.

[@moviesmarts06]

With all the hip references, this new movie will age like milk.

[@BigEOT3]

Leslie Claussen Milk left outside of Fox.

[@FuugaNatsu]

Eh, Rabbit from Steam Powered Giraffe says she aged like a fine milk. Also, YOU KNOW SMIZE IS FOR-EVE-R! ... sorry, couldn't resist. I'll get me coat.

[@Canadamus_Prime]

My reaction to "Woke Eve" is pretty much the same as Phelan's. Ugh...

[@viralshadow]

No kidding

[@gracekim25]

yeah I think that's EVERYONE's reaction

[@OldSchoolCurt]

So this gets a sequel but Dredd doesn’t! Oh what a world we live in!

[@mastermarkus5307]

You reminded me of that and my salt has been renewed.

[@Prestidigitoreum]

Just 12 more years!!

[@Cdr2002]

Obviously recast Tyra Banks as Judge Dredd and it’ll happen

[@KeroKaminaX]

this is probably my favorite Movie Nights in a while. also oh god what happened to the chef is horrifying

[@shmabadu]

The true hell for the chef was when he realized Eve is as anatomically correct as a Barbie doll.

[@gc7725]

This raises even more questions. I assume that by being turned into a doll while his soul floats around Doll Hell that means the Chef Boyfriend has become its own widely released line of Eve Dolls™. But what I want to know is has the manifestation of chef's soul in Doll Hell lost his penis to be accurate to the doll, or does the Chef Boyfriend line of Eve Dolls™ have an anatomically correct penis on every doll?

[@evilbob840]

Reminds me of the movie "American Mary". (There is a character that had several plastic surgeries to look more like a doll, but had trouble finding a doctor willing to... do that part....)

[@crithon]

I still can't wrap my head around there's a book of the dead in this film.

[@Kriseiri]

long live the TCU (Tyra Cinematic Universe)

[@SpeedyEric1]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3K6oJhtpqp5rtk

[@Iamafishproductions]

Where does Halloween: Resurrection fit into this? Was that Tyra a rogue Eve doll who escaped into our dimension with the help of a Kung-Fu Busta Rhymes action figure?

[@Cdr2002]

@@Iamafishproductions yes

[@BronzeBoy520]

Everything is worth it when Tyra Banks plays Tyra Banks on the big screen again!

[@aadams1006]

"I want something with microchips!" no child has ever said this sentence.

[@T1theinfamous]

I don't know why the line "How many Christmases did they spend, buying gifts, hoping this is the year that he comes back?" got to me, but it did. It's such a depressing thought in a stupid movie.

[@rogue7723]

Wasn't that the driving force behind that God-awful Christmas movie with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, _I'll Be Home For Christmas._

[@AmethystMarie]

The Eves live in a void like the Janets.

[@Fanimati0n]

Except less lovable

[@smjaiteh]

Imagine the kind of person who both wanted a sequel to Life-Size in this day and age, and was disappointed by the movie they got.

[@rogue7723]

I didn’t even know people _wanted_ a _Life-Size_ sequel. Though maybe that was because I _didn’t really care_ for the first one. It _wasn’t_ a hatred, I was just never into it. I felt that way about a lot of other Dcoms.

[@gilpomerantz9249]

Life-Size 2: Electric How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?

[@rikukicksass07]

Who has a bigger ego? Tyra or Mitch Buchanan

[@LaNoLaCola]

Their egos are equally sized, but Mitch pulls ahead in the save count

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Tyra has more of a right to 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@anasnow6635]

They are equal in size, but Tyra's seems bigger. The world of Baywatch bends to make Mitch look good, so he's done stuff to warrant most of the ego. All of those saves... Plus, he's friends with Newmie and Garner.

[@Titanic_Trash]

Ok I legit laughed at admin eve handing #girlboss eve a letterheaded page of gibberish

[@DarkfireTaimatsu]

I think this is the first time I've ever heard the word "thot" in a context of other than reading it in a post on the internet. And frankly, I would have preferred if it'd stayed that way~

[@JanetStarChild]

Yeah, I'm surprised to see it used outside of incel forums and misogynist KZbin comments made by MGTOW creeps.

[@gracekim25]

yeah....I don't want to know

[@thehumancrayon3264]

Life-Size 3 pitch: Pleasantville, but with chef-guy in doll-world.

[@FortoFight]

I didn't even know that the first movie existed, this channel gives me a lot of important insight into Disney culture.

[@fatimagic1365]

alison fernandez of all people should know that magic is real. i loved her in once upon a time and it' great seeing her get other roles, even in...movies...like this. as a bi woman myself, i actually find it refreshing to see a bi character in an m/f relationship, since so many people think bi characters (and tbh real-life bi people) only "count" when we're in same-gender relationships. ugh. anyways, happy holidays, allison. :)

[@rodrolliv]

Move aside, Brad Dourif and Mark Hamill. Here comes the most terrifying (and fabulous) portray of a doll ever!

[@anasnow6635]

Okay, picture this: Tyra Banks teaming up with Logan from Baywatch to work on his fashion line. The magical insanity of Tyra and Baywatch crossover would be glorious.

[@Tareltonlives]

Never in my life have I needed something so much before

[@Account_Not_Applicable]

I am sad Phelan wasn't there to -suffer- enjoy this with you

[@IDontWantThisStupidHandle]

Maybe this film is just a warning to the world that falling in love with Tyra is a fate worse than Hell...

[@AbsoluteTravisT]

I love that the sub plot blew open the concept that this micro-universe filled with just Eve... souls (?) can simply convert anyone into a doll and bring their soul into their world thus not making it an Eve specific world...???

[@Khenfu_Cake]

Life Size cinematic universe?? Dare we hope??

[@cdmsawesome]

My new favourite commentary video! You just gained a subscriber, I was on the floor laughing 😂😂

[@AllisonPregler]

Thanks!

[@anasnow6635]

Tyra definitely had a lot more creative control over this movie, didn't she? Honestly, the idea of her truly being able to have free rein over a production, with no censors, production companies or networks holding her back, is terrifying. Her insanity is barely contained when there are people and rules to stop her. What would it look like when she's given full control over a production and could we survive it? Honestly, she does scare me a bit, especially after watching the ANTM videos. Once upon a time, I was disappointed that I was rejected from ANTM. That is no longer the case. Bullet: dodged.

[@planescaped]

The dialog in this movie makes me hurt...

[@spookyrosev6467]

Nobody: Allison: Go Flossing Kid, Go!

[@MzLuluZombi]

Calling it, Grace’s mother was arrested for necromancy.

[@juliagoodwin3461]

Oh wow this is so cringy... This is what you get when you try to be “relevant” and fail so hard...

[@Fanimati0n]

@jbiehlable I think Zoolander 2 is a better example.

[@Fanimati0n]

@jbiehlable I remember it because I got dragged to it by a friend. I kinda spent most of the time in there wondering how hard it would be to slit my wrists with my teeth.

[@Fanimati0n]

@jbiehlable Will Ferrell was honestly the only person actually trying to give something resembling a performance

[@gracekim25]

So um did this movie come out in 2019 or something because Instagram is mentioned so…😅

[@TheFlamingDoh2]

There should be a Life-Size horror movie. Life-Size 3: Rise of the Eves

[@Dimensioneer88]

The plot of saving the dolls sounds like the idea of a pretentious Hallmark Christmas movie writer.

[@nomduclavier]

Yeah girls totally need to be told to contour and have bikini bodies nothing more revolutionary than that

[@yerabbit]

chefs always dress like chefs. how else would you know they were chefs! look at gordon ramsay.

[@HiperPivociarz]

"Ugh!" -Phelan Portous

[@Morbos1000]

The way Tyra talks in some of this is exactly the same as James McAvoy in Split when he is the Hedwig character.

[@tamirshimshoni8185]

Tyra Banks trying to be Cardi B might be the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[@tessalyyvuo1667]

"Just give us a chance of two girls be really boring together, that's all I'm asking." I love that!

[@josephm8628]

Thank you, I needed a new sleep paralysis demon.

[@fitzytail896]

Yeah that ending with the Chef left me disturbed...I didn't know this was a horror movie at the end...

[@accursedsidor8987]

Eve dying for our sins is countered by her being responsible for most of our sins to begin with.

[@Cdr2002]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be

[@LastGleaming8]

All this video has done is made me even more excited for your upcoming in-depth academic work on the literary significance of "Modelland"

[@BohemianScandalous]

I wan Allison do to rifftracks of every ANTM season

[@Tareltonlives]

I want her to do the whole series like Charmed and Baywatch

[@wombspace_oxygenator]

When I picture that chef being with Eve, I immediately thought of that scene in Under the Skin when Scarlett Johansson is about to have sex with the guy and she finds out she doesn't have functioning lady bits.

[@Jaytheradical]

Tom Hanks had more forewarning and agency at the end of Splash than chef boyfriend did in this movie ;_;

[@latrolettteeeeeee]

HE FISH LOL SWAR LOL HE FISH

[@mikekz4489]

Does the chef at least get a kitchen playset?

[@LixiaWinter]

Why do I have a false memory that you already did this review...

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Strange, so do I. Maybe they will rename the Mandella Effect as the Life Size 2 Effect.

[@LixiaWinter]

@@MyMagnificentOctopus I guess we craved this review so hard, we had to cope this way

[@PHOENIXGUNDAM]

I seriously thought that Lupa did a review of that Sinbad shaazam movie, this is nothing by comparison

[@Andrewnuva199]

Certain unmentionable people also did reviews of the movie, so there might be some confusion from mixed mental associations.

[@Cdr2002]

I love the subtle gag of the book of the dead being a copy of Modelland

[@gracekim25]

😂oh my gosh how did I miss that?!

[@phreakazoith2237]

Impressive. I would feel more safe visiting the knife factory with Chucky than having one of these around the house.

[@ThoseGuysPlay]

I love Eve Dead 2! Now I want a third one titled "Army of Wokeness!" -Matt

[@PreferredCustomer]

"What a bunch of damn bullshit." --President Harry Truman

[@graemesmith6721]

Oh my God, "Army of Wokeness!" Best fucking title for a movie ever! Somebody, please, make this happen!

[@thewraithwriter22]

I don't *know* that Alison called Phelan at three a.m. to show him Life-Sized 2, but I like to think that's what happened.

[@Tareltonlives]

I've been waiting for this one review for a year! The Goddess of Fierce must return! This is so insane I expect Tyra to have written this herself. This trying soooo hard to be relevant and cool. This is amazing ♫Hair conditioner!♫

[@Khenfu_Cake]

Wait, Tyra didn't write this?? 😕

[@Tareltonlives]

@@Khenfu_Cake She might have

[@IWillBeHers]

I live-messaged this movie to my best friend while she was at work and she thought I'd lost my damn mind with the way I was describing the insane plot.

[@U014B]

Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time: *_FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING!_* Life-Size 2: I'm about to ruin this man's whole career.

[@jjoshaugh]

Bieng from Ireland I've never heard of Tyra Banks. So this is the fresh newbie perspective. That woman seems to be the most unapealing insane egomaniac I have ever seen, and this "woke" world she constrocted around herself seems literally like the worst kind of dystopean hell you could ever contemplate. Thank you. Have a lovely day.

[@Khenfu_Cake]

Watch Allison's Best Tyra moments in America's Next Top Model video if you haven't already to get the full understanding of just how insane and ego centric Tyra is.

[@DalekTheSupreme]

In the words of one Dr. Ian Malcolm,, _"You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it..."_

[@Geospasmic]

If the existence of these Eve entities is reliant on the Eve line being in production, then they should really start dealing with the fact that their lives will end someday, they don't seem to have grasped the inevitability of death. Phelan: "Eeengh."

[@jukkahurskainen5192]

Oh my... tooch! This was beautiful, thanks Allison! Have a great xmas and new year!

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

You gotta admit, Tyra does look really good for being like 50

[@viralshadow]

Its like this is the "How Do You Do, Fellow Kids" meme in movie form.

[@kenthuang436]

Tyra is attempting to make a third Life Sized movie. I think that she finally lost her mind.

[@felipechalreo]

This review needs more Phelan!

[@dreamlandnightmare]

It's almost frightening how Tyra hasn't aged a day since the original. Maybe she actually is a doll come to life...

[@mitkitty]

Im five minutes in and if this lady doesn't start dating Eve in a pastiche of Hallmark movies im gonna be mad

[@mitkitty]

GODDAMMIT MOVIE THE EVE/PROTAG ROMANCE WAS RIGHT THERE!!! They're CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!!

[@PreferredCustomer]

@@mitkitty Just calm down. Try and remember what sunlight looks like. If you can't, have your grandmother push your wheelchair put of the room and out on the patio.

[@Cdr2002]

THAT WOULDVE BEEN PERFECT

[@Cdr2002]

@@mitkitty DAMMIT MOVIE WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU

[@mostlymattmostly6424]

RIP Chef Doll

[@Cdr2002]

Allison, you captured my exact critique of bisexual character stories where the love interest is still boring white dude

[@GetBenched2010]

There needs to be a movie where a kid gets a doll that turns into Lindsay Lohan. The crazy hijinks would be insane.

[@thejunkhogmakison79]

I'm gonna be honest here, the opening theme song alone is worth the like and subscription lol

[@klisterklister2367]

14:15 "I mean, let's give us the chance to have two girls being really boring together that's all i'm asking" PLEASE GIVE ME THAT

[@latrolettteeeeeee]

no lol it's weird lol

[@Docamp5]

Dr. Sam Beckett needs to leap in to chef doll to put right what once went wrong.

[@jackfruth3738]

Oh my favorite thing! Disconnected glbtq representation that feels like its been plucked out of the 90s right next to hyper-in-your-face-wokeness. Looks like ill have to check this one out!

[@Khenfu_Cake]

Ah, yes; the LGBTQ+ representation as imagined by mainstream media that really wants the points for being woke, while simultaneously also doing its darnest to avoid actually portraying anything of the sort aside from wacky stereotypes. Basically it's the film equivalent of a fast food chain slapping a rainbow coloured flag onto its coffee cups during pride month.

[@Fanimati0n]

It's like Zoolander 2 except this was unintentionally funny, whereas Zoolander 2 was just an all around miserable experience that made me want to slit my wrists open with my teeth to avoid watching anymore of it

[@Tareltonlives]

I guess this will be the closest we get to a Modelland Holiday Special

[@Unguided]

When's the Modelland movie getting forced out?

[@Tareltonlives]

I'd pay for it

[@KrystineBrown]

I'm sorry the "rooting for you" got me 😂😂😂😂😂

[@SirAsdf]

Only 4 minutes in and I can already tell Tyra was all over this movie

[@averagedusty]

I wholeheartedly agree with Phelan... Ugh.

[@fusionspace175]

Wait, the book of the dead brings dolls to life? The Egyptian book of the dead? Is this a continuation of the Mannequin universe? In my headcanon it is. (Apologies if you made this joke in the first review, I can't remember.) Well, at least in Mannequin the human didn't become another mannequin at the end like it's that twilight zone episode. There's something deeper at play here, this is all the same universe, where humans and things that look like humans are interchangeable. Was there a war long ago between fiction and reality, and this crossover ability is the result of some uneasy truce?

[@dreamlandnightmare]

Not even Disney wanted anything to do with this one.

[@saintdane05]

@@nexusgiga it wouldn't shock me if Tyra Banks funded it herself, and Disney dumped it on free form because that's where they put all their reruns

[@rogue7723]

13:00 If I had to pretend to be into that song for even 5 seconds, I'd _shove butter knives_ into my ears.

[@kovulover]

I must say - I can kinda appreciate that Tyra can make fun of herself a bit. If it weren't for her insane MLM bullshittery, and generally questionable behaviour towards others, I might actually respect her. That being said, this movie is just the mess I needed to perk myself up some, so thank you for bringing it to my attention, Allison!

[@Madkalibyr]

Yesss I was so psyched to see you upload! Also, I love your blouse! #shinebright

[@mathieuleader8601]

Lifesize 3: Rise of the Adams

[@BuddyL]

😨 Allison, I just watched your recap above, and I *still* don't get WTF I just saw?! I mean, yeah: 🏳️‍🌈 and PoC representaion is great, but... what. The. Hell? Is that where the boyfriend went at the end, Hell? This flick raises more questions than it answers... which means it will require *another* sequel.

[@PreferredCustomer]

Honestly, if it wasn't for the gays, this would be a good movie.

[@gracekim25]

@@PreferredCustomer what?😅

[@therealmanos]

Tyra: "How's it going fellow kids?!"

[@LiamWalds]

Drag Me To Doll Hell

[@danielladahoui888]

3:34 Heyy it's Lucy from Once Upon a Time! :D

[@jamesoblivion]

Revisiting this review, and holy hell, how did I forget that horrific Twilight Zone ending, wherein the chef man, who just thinks he's going to Arizona, unwittingly consents to an eternity of nonbiodegradable purgatory as a doll?!

[@Nightman221k]

Did they even try to get Lindsay Lohan involved? I ask because she's been in some stinkers and I don't see her turning even this down; but the idea that she did boggled my mind cause you are so right Tyra's acting in this is a significantly big step down from her in the original Life-Sized.

[@graemesmith6721]

I would imagine Lindsay is unemployable because no sane insurance company would underwrite the completion bond of a movie with her in it.

[@JamiJR]

Ah, I was having a bad day until I saw this video. Thank you, OL, for bringing me a bit of joy.

[@LaNoLaCola]

An early present from Allison to us

[@jasongretencord3326]

Eve's ability to turn people into dolls creeps me out. Why doesn't she do that to the people who want to discontinue the toy line, demonstrating that they are about to terminate sentient beings?