How to Thrive When You’re Single | The Lila Rose Podcast E47

Navigating life as a single person can be tough without a vision. I share 6 key principles that helped me in my single years to live with joy, purpose and hope.
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Timestampa:
00:00 Intro
01:45 Seven Weeks Coffee!
02:24 Public Sq!
03:12 Principles
05:00 The Right Foundation
05:32 Principle 1
14:38 Principle 2
15:22 2.1
17:35 2.2
19:11 2.3
20:32 2.4
21:26 2.5
22:10 2.6
22:52 Principle 3
25:05 Principle 4
27:00 Principle 5
28:49 Principle 6
31:11 Wrap Up

[@wrenchguy2937]

Living alone is definitely really hard. It's a blessing and a curse. You HAVE to go out and make sure like you said, there is a community you relate to.

[@maxmustermann1206]

Being introverted, I find living alone very easy. It's also a blessing and a curse. Finding a community you relate to is difficult. I don't fit in at work and I don't fit in a church.

[@abigailgade4945]

I lived alone and it was definitely a good thing when I decided to move back in with my parents, I was way to lonely on my own. I hope you get a group you can connect with.

[@NafisaLondon]

Pretty much everything in life is either a blessing or a curse, we just have to choose our perspective.

[@melitajara2817]

1. Find your community 2. Develop yourself: your virtues, interests/skills, emotional health, financial health, physical health and spiritual health 3. Serve others 4. Discover God 5. Put yourself out there 6. Have vision 7 Be Hopeful

[@badgerden7080]

No. You follow God first. Let him help you get all the other stuff. "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33.

[@SantosdeMuerte]

You are the quintessential female Lila. You dress, act and conduct yourself like a lady should. Such women men will work, sacrifice and strive to honour, provide for and protect. Keep up the excellent work.

[@christiann8036]

as a 19 yo catholic male about to enter his 20s, i am currently suffering from loneliness in the current state of the social climate and at my college campus and such, and i've found myself losing that hope that you mentioned. thank you so much for these principles, Lila, I'll definitely try to implement them more in my day to day

[@Dienekes678]

You are carrying your cross through a most challenging time and age! Soooo much respect for you having the guts to do so.

[@josemauromoraes6203]

Persevere on the sacraments and offer your pain as sacrifices brother. You will find the treasure of faith hidden in every corner. Remember: Jesus prayed for you.

[@sercastamere9853]

Don't worry mate, there's another decade of potential loneliness ahead of you before you need to panic 😂

[@eoinMB3949]

Man theres no need for you to feel hopeless about anything in this world. Seriously please read "The way to perfection" by St. Theresa of Avila and also the Dark night of the Soul by St john of the cross. What do books like these have to do with feeling lonely in the world you might ask? Everything. The cure for loneliness is growing closer and in your knowledge with God and those books are the blueprint on how you can achieve this. The loneliness you feel has nothing to do with a woman or any other person. St Augustine said that our hearts are restless until we come to know God(also you should read "The confessions" by Augustine). The mistake so many single people make is by looking for another person to take away that loneliness. No person can do this!! Its above their pay grade, the only one who can cure your loneliness is God and what that means in a practical sense is to put him first in everything you do. Its to keep him on your mind all the time, not just go to church clock in, it means to do what it says in Isiah: "You will keep him in perfect peace all who's minds are fixed on you, all who trust in you". This is the absolute truth because I can speak from personal experience, when you forget everything else and fix your mind on God, the peace and joy you have is that which passes all understanding. And when you experience this everything and everyone else in the world pales in comparison and you feel complete, needing nothing and that loneliness is gone. So just understand, the feelings you have are nothing to do with other people, seek God and put him first and if you do that you'll experience a piece of heaven here on earth.

[@Z25MikeD]

Thank You Lila! This is such a positive message not said enough. 43. Male in Metro Detroit. Being single can definitely get tough especially around the holidays and weddings. In the past few years, I’ve focused on reading more books, exercising at least six times a week, eating better and being active as a greeter in my Church and am in a pretty good place. You make so many terrific points that we all can improve. Thanks again!

[@rynoviking]

Living alone was so glorified. I had so many people tell me it was the best thing they did (I was late 20s). I moved into my own apartment after having roommates for a long time and after a few months I was unbearably depressed, anxious, and lonely. Luckily this led me to open the door to God and I am doing way way better and finally feel ready to take on a real relationship. Moral of the story, living alone is so overrated.

[@LilaRosePodcast]

Totally agree! I think our culture is often overly focused on independence so living alone has become more the norm for many

[@EsiriE]

Wow, I have had housemates for 10 years and I dislike it soo much! I’d love to live on my own.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

I love living on my own and I have space to be creative.

[@faaaduma6876]

Not everyone dislikes being alone. Some people happened to enjoy their own company.

[@EsiriE]

@@faaaduma6876 yeah I’d love it. I’ve also grown up with loads of siblings so I’ve never really experienced being fully alone.

[@CuriouSteve]

As a single man these are very good principles for men too. For me personally, I see a strong connection between spiritual health which produces strong mental health, which in turn leads me to desire physical and the rest. I DEFINITELY value my friendships with good charactered people/families, specially with other men, (manly and Godly men) and I pretty much go to anything that anybody invites me to besides meeting at church, bbqs, dinner, hangouts, movies, community events etc. If I can go, I say yes. I was having a hard time meeting a traditional woman who was okay with being pure till marriage tho, I was trying Christian dating, but quickly gave up on that. My church is only about 15 people so figured I would look outside the walls. Sidenote and newsflash, a lot of people say they're Christian, but they just have it as a name badge only. Not surprising considering that Jesus says the road to the "other place" is extremely broad, and most people (he's talking to Christians/disciples in that verse by the way) will not find the narrow road, so most Christians (according to that) are going to be in for a big surprise so I'm trying to make sure for myself. Humbling but factual. That said, my church leader and his wife invited a single woman to church who just moved to the area, and she just happened to sit right next to me at service, (it was the only open seat) And we totally were gabbing after service and I was surprised at her biblical knowledge. Fast forward a few weeks, and I finally did find someone (when I wasn't really looking) who loves God first, actually reads her Bible.. she loves Charles Spurgeon which was huge to me, considering there's an insane amount of false teachers out there these days...👀 and she prays... a LOT. Those were the top important things to me 1st, and on top of that she loves to exercise, go for walks, is very artistic, shares all of her traumas and victory's openly, and has some cute quirks, and some things that are a little annoying, but I look over them as I'm sure she's doing with me 😂. I will admit she can talk up a storm i tell ya, she can talk so long over the phone and I have fallin asleep on her a couple times! But I just listen to her and occasionally say something. She's very kind, generous, and has a heart for the poor and lost. She has great business sense, very organized, hard working, clean, etc. She cooks and is very nurturing. Although i prayed for a woman like her...she seems a little unreal in this day and age 🤔...She's just my girlfriend for now, but I really think I'm going to marry this one. She's probably going to be the perfect end times wifey if she says yes. Time is looking shorter be the minute...I may have to ask real soon 😂

[@sally.g.]

That is so sweet

[@thembekahadebe8122]

You've just described ME 😂🤣😅 Hopefully they'll be a man happy to have me with all my virtues and vices too!

[@lastef2159]

Sooo cute!! I hope everything works out for you!

[@johnfitzgerald1055]

Thank you Lila, I needed to hear this today. 31 and haven’t put myself out there due to mental health. I’ve spent all summer working on healing, growing spiritually, and starting counseling next month. I’m almost finished with the 54 day Novena and I’m slowly starting to have hope again. Praise God!

[@LilaRosePodcast]

So happy to hear. Prayers for your journey of healing and growth!

[@maureenmbuve1711]

Thank you Lila for remembering we singles! and with such compassion, wisdom, love. You clearly put in a lot of work. It's much harder to be over 35 and single in Africa I think ! Thanking God for my community of friends. Looking forward to more wholesome content on this topic.

[@effygram8159]

I’ve been working on myself for a longish time. I still don’t know what God’s plan is but I’m praying for the grace to accept it even if it’s not marriage.

[@EsiriE]

And this is the right perspective! To be open to whatever God has for you.

[@brittneythompson7218]

In the same boat girl! 32 years old, and I’ve never actually been in a relationship. Recently got my heart quite hurt, but it’s been good because it has brought me back to The Lord in a new and incredible way. I really desire marriage, commitment, intimacy.. but I am really trusting that The Lord knows my deepest desires, and that He is working all things for my good. Even if I don’t get married anytime soon, or at all.

[@charlesbell5500]

I like your hair. I'm a 25-year-old Christian man looking for marriage. Wanna be friends? I'll send you my photos via email, I'm just a very private person. By the way, the vast majority of people are called to marriage. So basically, if you're not called to be a nun, you're supposed to be a wife. 😁 God bless. 🙏❤

[@angelasmith1016]

Love hearing your perspectives. St. Gianna also wanted to begin her vocation of marriage, and she speaks of both living her single years purposefully in hope and yet still acknowledged her cross in desiring her vocation. Would love to hear on finding the balance between extended family on both sides to love and honor parents and in laws, but also choose what is best for young families/healthy boundaries.

[@LilaRosePodcast]

Great topic and such a complex but important one! Thanks for the suggestion!

[@breezybrookshire]

I'm currently reading "Boundaries" by Dr Cloud + Dr Townsend, and "Changes That Heal" by Dr Cloud, they talk a lot about relationships with extended family as an adult! From a very biblical grounded point of view too.

[@HannahBanana826]

Thanks for sharing!

[@abigailgade4945]

This is great.... I've been very discouraged this year..turned 27 and realized I have 3 yrs till I'm 30 .. all my sister's married young .

[@ShortGirlsClimbCounters]

I'll be 30 in a year and a half. It sounds so old. All of my adult sisters married super young too. That was never to be my path as I was dealing with chronic health issues for years, but now it feels harder than ever to meet someone. Thankfully I'm at a place in my life where I've never been happier, but if I dwell on possibly not having a family someday - that gets depressing.

[@wildnfearless9840]

My mom become a mother at 27 and has never been married. She's been single ever seen and is secure about it but still open to a future relationship. You're still young and have time to figure out what's right for you.

[@charlesbell5500]

@@ShortGirlsClimbCounters Wow, thanks for sharing. You are not old at all! You're a young, beautiful woman! I'm a 25-year-old Christian looking for marriage. I know what you're thinking: "25? You're immature." But you should just pretend that I'm 35 because I'm actually looking for something serious because I want to meet my future wife! Anyway, just let me know if you'd like to start off as friends. We're probably not in the same city. I'll send my photos over email or something. Don't worry, I'm not a wolf! 😏 Hope to hear from you, God bless! 🙏❤

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

The hardest part of living alone is when you getting nearly killed while working the "Frontline" line and seeing the adult planned parenthood before your eyes (hospital during the plandemic) and end up disabled. I'm 40s. I agree with you! I did a LOT in my single years (and still single now) - mostly service, teaching NFP, chastity outreach, and nursing but ALSO, digging into my wounds which is what helped me know why I was 'nursing' man childs. Yes, it's a lonely place... especially when big-tech addictions have replaced humanity. Porn comes with that. Support groups are helpful too. Too many "I'm an Introvert" excuses. I'm an extrovert who has been forced to be "Introvert." So agree with the community part. Men need to heart this. I'm SO thankful I started in my teens (even before) as some one who was open to facing hard things. As an empath, we magnetically attract narcissists. So I'm thankful for the gift of chastity plus seeking well rounded health. I find the Catholic circles can be/are pretty delusional. They think a prayer life replaces the need to WORK on emotional things. It's easier to pray a rosary than face with humility, the need to admit the need to change. I"m SOOOOOOOOO with you with the service thing. I'm sick of the single sloth around me and hearing "I don't have time," Working 14 hour grueling nursing shifts, caring for disabled family, etc...if I can, they can too but they are sitting home on dating Apps trying to force love. It's really sad. And...lonely for the rest of us. Thanks for this. Next on needs to address the porn and addictions in generation. Every on really needs Recovery! Thanks Lila.

[@juliehops3164]

This is so true! Thank you for posting this! I felt very hopeless until I followed these steps 2 years ago. I'm 24 and still single, but I have a life full of purpose and joy! Not that I don't get lonely or want to be married, but it's something to look forward to now instead of a sense of emptiness.

[@ericam9414]

Thanks for this video! Sometimes we forget to enjoy this season. I'm catholic woman 38 and I feel the calling to marriage. I pray for single people in the world, especially for those want to form a Catholic families. We neee them

[@SavvyArtz]

Listening to this now as a newly 27 year old Christian woman. I really appreciate all of the principles that you gave! I feel hopeful and like I am called to marriage, but God hasn't brought the right person in yet. I've recently been praying that if it is His will for me to marry, He'll prepare mine and his heart for it. If not, then I pray God shows me what His plan is for me and helps me to continue trusting His guidance.

[@anaklusmosj8432]

Same here! I turned 27 last June and I'm still single as well. Your post is exactly what I do! Still waiting, but hopefull in God's will. May He bless us both 🙏🏼 if He wills it. 😁

[@ec9519]

Hi Lila, thank you so much for this much needed video for the single community. Please make another for womens and virtue and growing virtue.

[@LilaRosePodcast]

Thank you - will do this soon!!

[@raymk]

I'll pray for you, guys and girls~ Keep on fighting for the love you have for others and God

[@angietrif]

This video helped me so much thank you! I’ve been really struggling as a single because I feel so ready to meet someone and settle down. But at the end of the day God knows when I’m really ready and what I need! This is such an amazing opportunity for growth!

[@cbentler4528]

I love how you so openly share your faith through your platforms, Lila! ❤ This was an encouraging episode to me!

[@jothecocopop]

I am someone who's always dreamed about having a long and happy marriage, and have only just realised that I also want to add children to that dream, but I always worry about when I'll be ready for that, whether I'll find a guy who's right for me, especially off the back of a family tragedy that I'm still trying to navigate. I know that I definitely need to get mentally stronger before I take that step. Either way, this video is full of fantastic advice, which I'm definitely going to take on going forward as I navigate my single years, however long or short those end up being. Thank you, Lila. ❤🙏🏾

[@arielle2366]

When you said "retreat" I had an idea that you were catholic! So excited to find a catholic lady who speaks on life issues! Thank you for what you do 💜🫶🏼

[@tanyaortiz8053]

I'm struggling so hard with finding a community and friends. Local churches have groups for young adults until around 25 y/o. There's a gap in catholic communities for single adults over 30, and no I can't start one. I'm burned out and already feel overwhelmed from work. I know this is my main point but I have no clue on how to tackle it

[@eoinMB3949]

Well I think first and foremost you gotta resolve the work issue, before you do anything else. If you're job has you burned out and overwhelmed then its time to resign and do something else. Or at least go part-time. God did not intend for us to be burned out and run ragged with a job. I speak from personal experience here so im not recommending something I havent done myself and I can tell you cutting back on the hours you work or quitting entirely and taking time to discern what God actually wants you to do, is a tonic for a weary soul. If you allow yourself to rest and not be consumed with work, you will rejuvenate and when you're in a peaceful, calm and rested state, then you can deal with other issues like a lack of fellowship.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

I get ya - but work plus family plus being disabled now....burnt out from all of it too. 40s. Male after male after male ....porn addictions. Catholics can be delusional, easy way out and pray vs work on their wounds. It's not you. And 20s/30s is not "young adult" ...we are adults. What do you do for work? Where do you live? That also matters. I'm in beautiful north Jersey, rural, farms, etc. I hate cities and I can't live there for a few reasons. On the "sites" but it's pathetic. Males have grown so selfish, and people just stay on their big tech..it's sad. I hear ya, I really do. I dated before the phones and things were SOOOO much better. It's the times....

[@AnnaR247]

I agree-there are a lot of Catholic single young adult groups in my area. But I’m in my early 40s with kids and a busy job. Most Catholic women my age are married so as far as friends I feel like an outcast, and it is hard to find good, decent, single, practicing Catholic men in the real world. I wish there were more Catholic single groups for middle-aged/older adults. And no-I don’t have the time to start one up either!

[@eoinMB3949]

@@AnnaR247 but why are you looking for Catholic men if you're married with children? Unless you're a widow, is that the case?

[@AnnaR247]

Not married-divorced and annulled.

[@christophersecreto5686]

Thanks Lila. Been holding out watching this video cause life can be so demoralizing and thought this video would be a cliché how to attract a mate. Was pleasantly surprised that this was not that. You give me hope.

[@deborahzambrano6479]

Thank you for this Lila, I needed to hear this. 36 year old female from South Texas! Devout Catholic, Teacher/Coach, loves to be around family, go to the movies, try new restaurants, travel, etc…☺️

[@Claire-tk1if]

Im so glad I listened to this podcast. Im 26 years old and still single. This gives me hope :)

[@JossueND]

I think the best is to be ready before marriage, not like everything needs to be perfect, but at least we need to be open for growth, sainthood, health, etc. Not wait until getting married to start working on ourselves for a better life and eternal life.

[@DillonColtMusic]

Im an autistic christian. Finding community for me has been really hard. Im trying to build my skills at music. I dont feel as if God meant for me to be alone, but finding a good group of christians that understand autistic people is really hard. Its really hard finding a good christian woman thats attracted to an autistic man as they tend to see autism as a weakness. I guess until it happens im just gonna work on my dream of being the next Stevie Ray Vaughn. 😊

[@user-bo6hk8ki3q]

Lila Rose has been a huge blessing in my life. Great role model for sure!

[@radar8658]

Lila, thank you for your content! Great podcast!

[@maxmustermann1206]

Tried dating websites for 14 years. I'd average 1 e-mail response about every 6 months. Met 3 women in those 14 years. None of them worked out. Tried talking to women at church. Couldn't get any of them to talk to me for more than 30 seconds - not joking. Still single. I'll be 50 in a couple of weeks.

[@thembekahadebe8122]

Then maybe sir you have been called to singleness. Just saying.... Grace, peace and joy to you 🙏

[@Datwaifu]

Thank you so much for this video, Lila. I was having a bad time overthinking failed relationships and how damaged they got me and how I was gonna die alone, but your video really was a light at the end of the tunnel. Thnak you.

[@RealSamHailu]

Gosh, this podcast episode was awesome!

[@baoha4041]

Amazing video Lila, please do more of these!

[@meghanreichert4700]

Truly every one of these resonated with me so so deeply. Thank you ❤️

[@lizzieurb]

So needed - thank you Lila! Onwards and upwards

[@NadyaDrea]

Wow! thank you Lila. This is exactly what I needed to hear ❤

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

I needed this ❤ Thank you!❤

[@sarcodonblue2876]

I absolutely love living by myself amd I have space to be creative and work on projects.

[@sharonjacob8476]

Such good advice, Lila! You are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. 🥰

[@prashanthjosephm1309]

Those really were good advise!!

[@JossueND]

Thank you!!

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

I’m single no single friends no companionship, no interaction with the opposite gender outside of professional conversations I’m truly alone in ever sense of the word

[@kellybrown4089]

Thank you!

[@jonatikaWwe]

Loved this! Thank you for talking about this, it’d be great if you would consider talking about different vocations 💙

[@xuancarloshdz]

Lila,thank you for this. Lots of loss in my life in the past few years. It's taken and its taking some changes to get out there along with the emotional and spiritual healing process that you mention. I appreciate your words. Pray for me to find a great Catholic woman and you get out of there to find her.

[@elzapynadath913]

thank you for this 😩 really need to work on my virtues - God bless you

[@eoinMB3949]

Those are all really solid principals. From speaking to a lot of single christians Ive found that so many dont actually seek God in their hearts. They instead seek a boyfriend or girlfriend and when that happens God does not occupy 100% of their hearts which means they suffer in themselves. From my own personal experience when I put this into practice it was the difference between night and day. Truly loving God with all of your heart, mind and soul is absolutely essential because otherwise youre divided and a divided heart is a tormented one. When it becomes all about God, you let go of the craving for another person because God will let you experience his presence, and even 5 seconds of experiencing the presence of God is enoug for you to forsake everything in this world, including a spouse. So when I hear single christians complain that being single is "Hard" I shake my head because I know this is a person who has not given their heart, mind and soul to God and is divided, they are more interested in a person than God and this is how they bring about their own suffering. And the irony is, that when you do let go of the craving for another person and you do truly give all of yourself to God, he will present that person to you anyway, if this is his will, but by that stage you are so fully content with God that you will have second thoughts about allowing anyone into your life.

[@wallykasp]

While I suspect there are good intentions because your comment, there is much empty piety and modern ideas in your comment. 1. The idea of finding someone only when you are not looking is so absurd. Historically especially but even in today's world. If that were the case, online dating would never work for anyone. Nor would organized singles gathering. Those things are designed to foster courtship and marriage. Historically, Hispanic cultures set up quincenieras for girls at age 15. Yes, 15 year old girls. This was common not too long ago. Now with the community no longer helping, people think absurd things like the idea of finding someone when you're not looking. 2. People need each other. There is a reason why solitary confinement is a punishment for many prisoners. It is intended to either separate others from a dangerous individual or it is used on someone healthy to break their spirits. Even a healthy prisoner put in solitary confinement who has God in his thoughts will eventually be worn down. But you call that a "craving for others", which is silly. 3. I suspect you and your peers have complained about the demographic crisis, low marriage and birth rates at some point. It's a bit absurd to do so and then suggest "all people need is God" and indirectly suggest that people should be alone because that is only way one can give themselves to God completely.

[@eoinMB3949]

@wallykasp In your third point you've made an assumption......I have never complained about birthrates in my life. So I'd caution you about jumping to those sort of conclusions. To the rest of your comment.....this is the same arguments that are rolled out anytime Christians talk about dating and relationships, single Christians in particular. They will quote from genesis "its not good for man to be alone" to justify feeling sorry for themselves because they believe that they "need" a spouse and that God has somehow denied them the thing they believe they absolutely have to have or else life will be lonely and miserable. But here's the thing if you read "The way to perfection" by st Theresa of avila you'll see that she talks a lot about the fact that even a few seconds feeling the presence of God is enough to understand that God really is all you need. This experience is so sweet and fulfilling that when you have it you can see that you don't need that person and relationship you were absolutely convinced you needed. And in "the dark night of the soul" by st John if the cross he goes into a lot of detail about how God will "wean" is from the world and even relationships so as to show us that he is all we need. God doesn't want us to become addicted to other people or the things of the world, he wants us detached completely to that he and he alone occupies the soul. Its like Abraham and Isaac, God told him to kill his son to yest Abraham to ensure that God occupied his heart and not even his son. So when I hear single Christians bemoaning their relationship status I know they haven't really sought God with their whole heart, they've sought the idea of a person and not God. By doing this, by letting go of the attachment in your heart of a husband or wife and only wanting God In that place, I guarantee the Lord will allow you to experience him and from this experience you'll see that God really is all you need.

[@thomassaluto3294]

Thank you Lila... Thank you for doing this solo pod cast. It felt like you were doing it for me... I'm thankful that I am able to connect with your spirit of good will towards others, through this medium of social media. Much thanks to you for your community service and the example that you demonstrate to all of us here on KZbin and other social media platforms... As I was watching you talk and taking in all of what you had to say, my armor was falling to the wayside for the most part - I do know that this is how I invite the presence of God to enter my conscious heart/mind, even though I don't know what God is, I do accept that it is an invisible power/force - and watching you enabled me to serenader enough to let God in to get another taste of how he works through our hearts.... Thanks again Lila... Wishing you and your husband much health, blessings and good fortune ...

[@Msannab7]

Awesome video, thank you Lila!!

[@whatadaytobealive]

I'm 43 and I went through a broken and toxic relationship not that long ago. Dating for me overall was difficult and not fun. Right now, I'm career focused, working on healing and taking care of myself.

[@marishasveganworld2240]

Wow! Congrats on your journey! Glad you let go of your unhealthy relationship, decided to heal and focus on your self care ❤

[@Z25MikeD]

I hope that if you decide to date again that you find what you’re looking for. In the meantime, I hope that you heal and grow!

[@whatadaytobealive]

@@Z25MikeD I really appreciate your kind words. Thanks!

[@whatadaytobealive]

@@marishasveganworld2240 I appreciate it! Thank you 🙌♥️

[@ec9519]

Awesome video. Please make another video on virtues.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Virtues are great, but the practical stuff is too and not focused on much at all. These are action steps that will self guide to virtue.

[@1trompet146]

These are some great points. Maybe i’m nitpicking a bit but i’d try to change the language around the ‘develop physical health’ a bit. Our physical health for a large part is not in our direct control. It is obviously a good idea to try to improve your odds a bit with diet and exercise but nothing is guaranteed.

[@renatafnedab3003]

Thank You for this. I am single and live in the DMV area and I have been trying to find events so that I can meet my man and court and get married. ❤

[@heluvsya]

I’m a single father of three I had to divorce my wife because she was abusive to my children I don’t have any time to go socialize because I’m devoted to my three young children. I can only have faith that God will bring the right person to me without me looking. I’ve had dreams that I’ve met the right person and that God confirmed it in the dream. But the waiting is hard. the trusting it’s hard I’m being asked to believe in something that I’ve only seen in my dreams. but I’ve had many dreams that have come true so I believe this one will as well. I believe God will give me the strength through this hard season, and that I will look back on it one day and say it was all worth it.

[@RPawareness2024]

i love listening to you lila.. i think you are a good debater... but this is way harder to do than you make it seem

[@MissPopuri]

I would like to travel, but the one major trip I took when I was 22 years old seeking a job made me not want to talk about it openly with anyone for 15 years. There was this fear I had that my parents would say I should have known better, and I wasn't in the mood to hear about the "I told you so's" or "Why didn't you listen to me?" I didn't feel like they were very understanding about my own desires and wants in life. This might be why the doctors have suggested I might be depressed or suffering from depression which is a very serious form of anxiety dealing with past events and trauma. Something happened recently in my hometown that reminded me of the events that took place while I was away from home all those years ago, I can't really talk about it without revealing the details.

[@zeynand4039]

I don't want to be single though. I want to be a mom, I feel like I might be missing my chance of ever becoming a mom. I never knew it would be this hard to get married, now I feel like I'm a monster or something. There is nobody for me, really? How is thst possible. That's my insecurity. I can't help but to feel like there is something wrong with me. I know it's silly guys but it's what i have in my head. Seriously insecure.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Focus (fellow single here) on being a great person - woman! And want to be a great wife. And the motherhood will come. If not biologically, adoption. Itr's not you, dear one. Not likely you. The males today are really spineless and lack testicular fortitude. It's not you...

[@zaram131]

Same here!!!

[@takmaps]

There are plenty of men looking for women like you don't give up. Find them at church or something. Keep trying.

[@radar8658]

Im single in SoCal, 40 yrs old, I love God (Christian -non denomination), I like working out, outdoorsy stuff, travel, love food but I have a strict diet 😊.

[@litzyr3920]

Lila, hello from Minnesota!! As a 22 year old female I can say that yes sometimes I do wish to meet my spouse soon, but I’m taking this time to lean on God and get closer/stay close to my Catholic faith (most importantly to God). I’m also not sure of Gods plans for me, but I think it’s in between marriage or religious life. I don’t think I could do consecrated single life - it’s “all or nothing” for me (either married or religious). That being said I’m open to both! Right now I feel like I’m waiting for His response. I’m in no rush since I am still in college and will be graduating this year in December! I pray that Archbishop Hebdas plan to build “small communities” (at least that’s what’s going on in MN) bears good fruit and we get a lot of young adult communities. I don’t say this just to look for a guy but because I genuinely want there to be more young adult groups to have community! That is something many Protestant churches have that our Church doesn’t have (and needs).

[@highlightrelz897]

Wow

[@capecape1277]

God is the most important point

[@araci88]

35 and single from an unwanted divorce that will finalize next week and I totally feel like my life is over and I will never have a family. I’m even having suicidal thoughts because I don’t think life is worth living if I am going to continue living but completely alone and with no family.

[@chavala3140]

You have a life to live...talk to someone. You don't need to suffer in silence. I will be praying for you.

[@a_bex.1501]

Lament. That's what I'd add. While this is great, the only voice I've heard that I resonate with is that of a single who has actually experienced decades of isolation rather than seemingly endless talks from married people. Most encouraging word I've heard is that you can do everything right in trying to find community and relationship and still go years completely isolated. "Just go make friends and have community" doesnt always work. It sucks and if you're reading this and isolated too, what you're feeling IS okay. Just don't lose hope that it can get better one day.❤

[@tomjones5338]

As a 46 year old man i enjoy being single I've seen what's happening in the modern world with modern women there's no way im getting back into dating or relationships with women prefer my peace of mind

[@CatherineDStapleton]

Try being 62, and never having dated anyone in your life. I gave up all hope years ago. There's no one out there for me. No one wants a woman my age with no experience with men.

[@thembekahadebe8122]

Then MAYBE you were called to singleness. It's obviously been God's will for your life so far. Seek the Lord in this regard so that you can have some more understanding 🙏

[@ShortGirlsClimbCounters]

I have always had plenty of close friends. My issue is that most of them have gotten married and the rest have moved away. My married friends only talk about babies and birth stories and so I find it almost more lonely to meet up with them, and I can't figure out how to meet new people at this age. Most people in their late 20s are married from my church. Also, im at a stage in my life where I'm really valuing my health, which includes sleep, so I'm not interested in hanging out with young crowds that stay up til all hours. So at this time of my life I live alone and do stuff a bit with family. I talk to friends on the phone a few times per month, and i just try to stay busy otherwise. It is lonely, but I don't see any ither options.

[@SavvyArtz]

I totally understand - it's hard seeing other people my age at church that all got married fresh out of high school/college and not feeling a bit left out. I've been trying to force myself out of my little bubble though, much like Lila mentioned. I've joined a DnD group with several church friends, started taking a seminary class to learn more about Scripture, and am now looking to start taking a gym class just to give me a set schedule that gets me out and moving. It's not wild and crazy life like a lot of people, but I'm trying to take care of heart and mind - and honestly this is more socially active than my natural inclination is to be, lol! I'm a true introvert at heart, and if you told me I'd be doing this a few years ago I wouldn't believe you. Just wanted to reach out and let you know that you're not alone in a lot of these feelings.

[@ShortGirlsClimbCounters]

@@SavvyArtz That's amazing. ❤ I'm also very introverted so I would feel the same, that seems like a good amount of socializing! I've been trying to think of some groups to join, not much in my area but I'm going to keep looking. I used to do jiu jitus which was a bit of socializing but also just healthy in general, but just hasn't worked with my schedule for a while. Thank you for your kind words!!

[@SpanishSquish]

Hi Lila - I am an almost 46 year old devoted Catholic woman. I have a great job, great parents, great family, and great friends. I am a very happy person. Love my solitude. I've never had the desire to be a wife or mother. My girl friends from elementary school all had dreams of marrying a nice man and having lots of children. I never felt that. I wanted to work, make money, serve the Lord, take care of my parents, have lots of cats and dogs, and just be happy. I am doing all those things. I'm very involved in my church. That brings me joy. I've been asked so many times if I feel like I'm "missing out" not being married and not having children. My answer is always no. I know God has a plan for me. Maybe he will send me a nice man to be my companion when I'm 60! 😂 I know some people think something is wrong with me. Maybe there is. 🤔 I am a good person, devoted to my Lord, family, and friends. I love my life and I pay my taxes! 😅 Thank you for all you do. You are a wondeful, Godly woman. You have helped so many people, including myself, with your wise words! Much love and many blessings to you from Texas! ❤ 🕊 ✝️

[@disappointed_in_humanity]

31:05 lol hi you have international audience! I've never been to the US lol

[@martynasoczewinska9555]

Hi Lila. I don't get how using dating apps and wanting the guy to make the first move connects.. 😅

[@jk-califkid5017]

Dating apps are worthless. Soul-destroying women only look for the top 10% men. It seems like most women are lifestyle chasers. I am trying the old-fashioned meeting in real life. It's not easy to do, but I focus on the Scriptures and becoming the person God requires me to be. Life is good. Read Titus 2:11-13 and Ephesians 3:20 for guidance and encouragement.

[@rejectwokeness1314]

Im single because it's just impossible to find a beautiful, feminine, rational and elegant lady like Lila 😢 Most women out there are not even 1% of Lila

[@jk-califkid5017]

I hesitate watching this video because it will be another woman saying I found a man so you should too. Not every one finds sonebody.

[@balipsette]

If any faithful Catholic guy is interested in meeting haha…I’m a 29-year-old traditional (but not “Trad”) Catholic woman in Long Beach, CA. Just converted in April! 🙋🏼‍♀️❤

[@Allwillbeone0]

Congratulations 🎊. It's not going to be easy, but it's always gonna be worth it.

[@jesussavedme-fy5fd]

43 year old man here, returned to Catholicism this year after being lost for a long time.. Would love to meet someone who is also on the path. Zoom date?

[@rugger9239]

30 yo trad, not rad trad in Irvine. Let me know if interested in connecting.

[@balipsette]

@@rugger9239 Do you have an IG?

[@slv8581]

How did you meet your husband?

[@andreahannah574]

I so agree with being part of a community but i cant tell you how hard it is in NYC. I dont know what it is, maybe the culture of the city. Even in churches, there are so many emotionally and mentally unhealthy people, or people who really want to connect. Its been bothering me for years.

[@pnkjpthk99]

Loneliness among men is not a problem at all.. It's completely normal.. It's just the world giving you hints on you being unsuccessful in that specific time period.. Work hard, make a ton of money, and the loneliness will go away... Women just love money.. Try being rich, and then complain about being single😅 Please note that the woman giving advice in this video has got a rich husband.. Even she herself hates to talk to poor, single, or lone men in her real life..

[@JAG214]

I done a lot in my life and yet still not where I want to be when it comes to finding a partner because most women in my 37 years on earth have rejected/past me up for whatever reason and ended up with all different kinds of losers who would hurt them at the end then say all men are the same, I will never date again then when they do date again go after the same kind of guys hoping for a different result then get hurt again instead of giving me a try which could of lead to a better result

[@GreekSlavcel]

Stop resisting your destiny.

[@hunivan7672]

I'm a gay man looking to get married to a woman and have babies and a catholic lifestyle. How bad are my chances?

[@patrickbarnes5063]

Are you in a major urban area? Women love gay men lol, so I say your chances are extraordinary.

[@wildnfearless9840]

You need help man

[@garrettstephens91]

There's only ONE step for singles: 1) Get married to a good Catholic person of the opposite sex. It's not that complicated people. I see men making it complicated all the time by not wanting to ask women out, out of fear of rejection. I see women making it complicated by not saying yes to a man because God didn't burn a bush next to them to tell them whether or not that guy is their soulmate, so they are in a perpetual state of singleness until their soulmate drops in front of them and it is very evident. Life doesn't work either way people.

[@Jacob-og8js]

word 👍

[@brandyrazo9608]

That’s very hard to find this day and age. Trust me, I have my eyes peeled, I don’t see any man near me that fits that description

[@brandyrazo9608]

No man wants to be married!

[@josephflanagan1070]

Your beautiful

[@wildnfearless9840]

She's taken

[@josephflanagan1070]

@@wildnfearless9840 👍

[@AM-ut7dg]

I was really excited to watch this video because of the topic. I am recovering from the end of a 6 year relationship with someone I thought I would marry, and now I have to adapt to being single… based on the introduction I thought this would be a really helpful video that would offer a lot of value to me. However, given the highly politicized and polarizing nature of the sponsorships chosen and the constant mentioning of abortion I’ve decided to click off the video. I don’t need to receive a political campaign when I am trying to heal. It’s totally inappropriate and tone deaf for the viewer.

[@charlesbell5500]

Why did you "date a lot of different guys" a decade before you got married? Were you not really Christian back then or did you actually reject them sexually?

[@martynasoczewinska9555]

Also, why would Catholic women want to date a guy who i sitting on apps instead of pursuing a girl in real life?.. btw appreciate you and your content so much but just trying to head my head around all of this without hating guys

[@Allwillbeone0]

Why is it ok for women and not men to usef dating apps?

[@sanjivjhangiani3243]

The problem is practically no women in some places may share your values. Even at church, you might not be able to find someone of an appropriate age, etc. So, dating apps/services could potentially help people connect.

[@morganwaites1420]

Try not to be like Emily Wilson please 🙏🏼

[@daisyj2948]

Glad I wasn't the only one thinking this. I appreciate EW's desire to help other women and advice at times, but sometimes it comes off as boasting about her husband and family and how if we're good Christian girls like her, we'll get that too. I bought her message in my early 20s but at 30 it just makes me feel God is withholding from me because I dont trust Him like she does. Hopefully this video hits better.

[@boservant1693]

1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ[a] has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too. 2 We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. 3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. 5 And who can win this battle against the world? Only those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. (...) 9 Since we believe human testimony, surely we can believe the greater testimony that comes from God. And God has testified about his Son. 10 All who believe in the Son of God know in their hearts that this testimony is true. Those who don’t believe this are actually calling God a liar because they don’t believe what God has testified about his Son. 11 And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life. - 1 John 5:1-5, 9-12 (NLT)

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Why is working on yourself particularly for women? Both men and women need to work on themselves.

[@malissahyatt2425]

Single. Free. Probably never marry. WHOOP WHOOP!!!!!! 😁😸 Me and my kitty...Zoe. And all the food is MINE!!!!!!

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Its much easier for women to be single

[@thembekahadebe8122]

May I please ask why you think so 🤔 I'd love to hear your perspective.

[@AndrewTheVikings]

How so? because right now they are becoming childless or unmarried and they are just focus on careers orientation and ultimately themselves. Yes, this looks great on finances, travels, and housing. But, they do encounter mental illness for being single extended period of time, it is psychological perspective. There's always pros and cons there.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

@AndrewTheVikings Lol...there's no mental illness from being single for extended periods of time. You must be completely unaware that women have friends and family. You sucked & swallowed more manosphere propaganda.

[@titus7312]

There are no good women!

[@wildnfearless9840]

There are. You just haven't found any.

[@wildnfearless9840]

Cheer up. You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude.