Limerence & the avoidance of rejection (& disappointment)

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[@Honey_the_star]

It’s so sad how something so simple, or the concept of liking another person can be so overwhelming and crippling.

[@laracroft9079]

showing vulnerability is a scary thing. Ego, self-esteem all in line, it could be challenging for many people

[@user-nd6jf6le8w]

"Even if someone is afraid to show their feelings - that should be enough". I often get attached to people who I suspect don't show their feelings, so I keep wondering what their feelings are and thus get attached. Childhood bullshit I think. I was responsible for my elders' emotional well being and got accustomed to 'read their minds' all the time. And you are right, it sucks to be an adult who literally throws tantrums when they don't get the person they like

[@charmedprince]

Me. This is me 1000000000%.

[@AB-qe8cs]

Me

[@sweaters_and_harmony9525]

“We were not accepted for who we were.” Oh Elvita….1000% yes. This statement hits home. But the beauty of adulthood is that we all have the chance to accept ourselves and be the parent we always wanted. From one wounded inner child to another, I’m pulling for you - for all of us.

[@sixtuscardinal2581]

Good that you are identifying the danger in the "manifesting an SP" teachings that are so prevlalent. People are wasting tons of money on practices and coaching that are just cementing their limerence. Manifesting love is one thing- thinking you can magically change someone from rejecting to wanting you is something else- and many times not possible. I wish I would have known about acceptance and realized I was wasting time on someone who didn't care about me. Expensive lesson- in terms of time and money- learned.

[@opicinus]

as somebody who has been struggling with this for years...ive been obsessively and deliberately trying to get to the root of the cause. no matter how many times it was phrased by whatever professional, or even hearing of other peoples similar experiences, my mind still repeatedly drifts to the person/expectation. by the time i catch myself thinking about it, i usually then i try to "not force it" which feels like hardcore denial mode. OCD made this rumination process a lot harder to go through. at the end of the day, i recognize its something that needs to be addressed but for some reason i always draw a total blank when i try to be honest with myself, asking "why AM i doing this?" which i suppose is just another form of me subconsciously avoiding the rejection by playing dumb, without even intentionally doing it. point being, the way you worded this helped me. my biggest issue i feel, had been the "lack of closure" for the mistreatment i did go through in the duration of my relationship- had which also made the rejection sensitivity stick twice as hard. its funny how i can pretend to be so rational and know im not owed closure at the end of the day but never be grown from it. instead of properly moving on, i just get wrapped up in the "how was that fair?" aspect of the past. taking it for what it always was, without emotional bias, has been extra hard because of that. and even though ive gotten this sort of "pep talk" from professional sources over and over, something just didn't feel like the dots were really connecting. especially on the topic of how your expectations of that person is unfair/harmful to them. long story short, something about the way you said it makes sense and feels refreshing and i guess...more humane to hear? great take and much appreciated 😌

[@Rose-pj1fg]

I have watched videos and read books on topics you discuss but still your approach and how you delve into these topics is new. I really appreciate the content you make ❤

[@evitapkcoaching]

I really appreciate getting this kind of feedback. Thank you! 💜

[@megha_bidhuri]

Hi Evita, it's been 9 months since I first saw your video on limerence , I don't believe in universe or something now but I am thankful that I watched your video sincerely and follow your advice. I can't thankyou enough you just saved my life because of you I start thinking why I lost in this loop for almost 4-5 years , what was my insecurities and fears and while doing all these things I realised it was just my projection and has nothing to do with reality. I started accepting myself now, and have made peace with myself. I am so grateful that I found you. Thankyou from bottom of my heart , a lot of love to you Evita ❤ once again thankyou 😊😊😊

[@evitapkcoaching]

Thats wonderful to hear! 💜💜💜

[@capleosag]

I figured that I also try to avoid to see that I am even disappointed at all. I find it hard to accept that I am disappointed because I am afraid what this realisation will lead to. I already experienced periods of intense dark places and even went inpatient because I couldn't bear living like that. Seems like self annihilation unfortunately is an option that lingers just right above me at all times. I avoid to look at my situation because I cope so poorly if I did.

[@neasahayes6044]

There's many fictional stories where someone couldn't accept no for an answer and waited for someday for things to change and in the end succeeded. Love in a time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez is the first that comes to mind. People may romanticise limerence as though they are in a love story where against all odds they are together with that person in the end. But this almost always is something that's possible in fiction but rarely in reality.

[@baddie1shoe]

Hmmmm..I appreciate your message and I think it is an interesting way to present it. First things first-we need to understand our core beliefs and our core values before entering a romantic or intimate partnership. That’s our steering wheel. Some people have no idea what they value.

[@dbuck1964]

You still need to be aware that your values can totally justify your limerent behavior. It can make seeing it even more difficult.

[@mango5660]

I've watched a lot of videos on this topoc but I absolutely love this video and gave some real new insight. Gave a really good perspective about the mother wound. Love that you include manifestation that other people talking about this topic don't touch on. Thanks a lot :)

[@gstar1229]

Thank you for the smack in the face. This is so true and has given me the answer to the patterns in my adult life. I actually catch myself now before I start to slip into my daydreaming state. Looking at the truth of it can be unbearable but once you accept it, it does get better. Amazing content.❤

[@johnnyscorpio8522]

I'm thankful to have found your channel. You always get to the heart of an issue.

[@evitapkcoaching]

Appreciate it. Glad it resonates 💜

[@ahmedhaidar6470]

I personally appreciate your directness and you have helped me so much beyond the traditional stuff i come across online but i feel like you could be a little more gentle towards people who are only now facing the idea of limerence. Its a really tough situation to come face to face with and we can all be kinder around a very unkind situation. May you be well, safe, peaceful and successful!

[@susanseaton9574]

I'm aware I jump in and out of it. It is a mental state of mind and your reminder helps. Thankyou 😊

[@ThomasBuchwinkler487]

There are a lot of tolls to release emotions, feelings. But this tools require daily practice like a musical instrument. Some can not handle them or go insane, beacause so many suppress everything with sugar, alcohol, nicotine, medication or other substances and things to distract them from feeling something. Anf if you open the door to you Basement where all the suppressed emotions are under layers, everything comes up at once and you can't close the door anymore. Because the little monsters back then have become big monsters.

[@manaysmessages]

Thanks so much for this. I receive and accept this entire message.

[@nappyfries]

Manifestation is one of the most harmful things you can do when you’re in limerence.

[@baddie1shoe]

I do not believe in it. Intention- yes.

[@anamarieph8597]

I'm almost done scrolling on Limerance, haha.

[@susanwohl24]

Thank you for your video. You’re so insightful. I love your videos. They’re so helpful.❤

[@beachgirl4]

Thank you❤

[@Mss_Muthoni]

I suffer from limerence and extreme fear of rejection too..i was brought up in a stable happy home.What might be the problem

[@dbuck1964]

You need to look deeper into your early childhood. Something does not come from nothing.

[@joshliam1967]

So much of this was the reality check I needed, thank you.

[@defnemengenli8690]

Thank you so much. ❤

[@jamie6008]

Thankyou for the great content! Would love if you could do a video about limerence occurring while you’re in a relationship. 👍

[@TheLastEmperor94]

She's in denial. She can't accept or face the rejection I gave her. She probably thinks down the road something will happen but as time goes on I only want to be further and further away from her. She should be putting that energy into her child. She's not in a position to be chasing relationships. Life's in shambles. Being someones limerant object is annoying.

[@tamarajohnson6176]

Dam

[@baddie1shoe]

What are your credentials?

[@virulence]

Well shi-