Living The Single Life ft. Dr. Yuthika Girme

Is being single actually the key to happiness? FOR THE EXTENDED EPISODE join the Patreon community here ✨: / alaynajoy
In this episode, Alayna chats with Dr. Yuthika Girme about redefining singlehood. They tackle societal pressures, the myth that relationships equal happiness, and how to be single and happy. From working on your attachment style to the stigma around relationship status, this episode offers fresh insights into finding fulfillment on your own terms.
Yuthika U. Girme is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Simon Fraser University. Dr. Girme is the Director of the S.E.C.U.R.E. Laboratory researching Singlehood Experiences and Complexities Underlying Relationships. Dr. Girme has developed distinct research programs investigating singlehood and relationship process that have important practical implications, including social support, attachment insecurities, emotion regulation, and social stigma. Dr. Girme regularly publishes in top social psychology journals and her research has been recognized by numerous early career research awards, including the Society of Personality and Social Psychology: Relationship Research Interest Group Graduate Student Paper Award, Society of Experimental and Social Psychology Dissertation Award, and Association of Psychological Science Rising Star Award, and Caryl Rusbult Early Career Award.
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[@RachelKay528]

I remember hearing about a study that showed that single women are happier than single men. And that women (in cishet relationships) are the ones to initiate divorces the majority of the time. I'd be curious to hear her thoughts on that if you ever have her back! (Unless I'm remembering wrong and that's not what the study concluded lol)

[@PinkFish404]

Big fan of the podcast Alayna! I think this is an amazing topic, but it stayed surface-level when there’s so many interesting places to go. For example, the 4B movement, the gen z right-wing men vs liberal women divide, intentional celibacy rise in popularity, dating apps and effect on commoditization of people, etc. I’m not sure what to take away from this episode than “stop asking single people if they’re dating” and that they may or may not be thriving for many reasons. Again, big fan of the pod and wanted to leave this comment in case this topic comes up again - so many cool places I’d love to hear you & experts chat about!

[@VladimirLesbian420]

TOTALLY AGREE

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

Oooo v interesting points, thank you for the feedback!!

[@itchy7879]

Dr. Girme is a great communicator! What a nice episode :0

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

She was a treat to talk to 🎉

[@ArtichokeHunter]

would love to see you talk to Rhaina Cohen, the author of The Other Significant Others. I think it's really fascinating to look at partnerships that aren't romantic relationships, and while not all of the people in that book are single by these definitions, many are and still exist with pretty different social struggles and advantages as compared to the idea of isolated, free-from-commitments single people since they are in platonic partnerships.

[@el_2904]

Loved this episode, going to go look into more of Dr Girme’s work! As someone who has been single for a long time, it was good food for thought to think about the factors that affect happiness whilst being single - for me the hardest part is having some unreliable friends who are often in and out of relationships. Need to focus on building my social circle so I feel more supported whether single or not 😊

[@lizan1993]

28:10 i am exactly in that state. I feel like for some years now I am really really ready for a relationship. Like worked on my healing, created a good life for myself, am in a healthy way critical on who i decide to get involved with, and now i feel like i am just waiting and it just hasnt come around. At 31 years old now i am scared that i have to consider the possibility that i maybe wont have kids. It scares me because i would really really love to be in a relationship and i really want kids. I feel like I am generally happy, but it is difficult that my dream life may not there for me.

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

I hear you and I feel this. Edit - same age btw lol

[@notreallymyname8751]

This is where I am at.

[@ArtichokeHunter]

i get that the point of this podcast is to feature therapists and researchers, and i think both of them are very thoughtful and respectful here, but there's a little weirdness to me about having two people in relationships talking about a "them" outgroup like, fun facts about this exotic other group? i don't know really what i'm reacting to, but i think maybe it's a psychic distance thing like, we have all been single. no one was born in a romantic relationship. most people have even been single for some period of their adulthood, long or short. i feel like sometimes we treat differences as much larger than they need to be, and everyone's experiences are different, but the single experience isn't some wild unimaginable thing, it's just not being in a romantic relationship right now. idk.

[@spotlight9474]

That will be probably the topic I'm most excited about to hear. More ace content would be welcome! ❤

[@ArtichokeHunter]

the idea that there's a binary between people who are thriving and people who are miserable in any situation, single or not, is kinda confusing to me? like, i don't think i know anyone who could accurately be summarized as thriving, and the only people who could accurately be summarized as being miserable are in the midst of mental health crises that are temporary. i've been single my whole life (ok i guess i wasn't for 3 months but whatever) and sometimes i feel bad about it and sometimes i feel content and secure in it and i think that's just being a human, like sometimes you feel different feelings and experience positive and negative circumstances

[@SandraLugn-nc1rk]

This was wonderful, you are wonderful.

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

Thank you 🥺

[@_asantesana_squashbanana_]

Your favourite Aussie is slightly late but still on time. 💙 also living single with pets is the best life, just saying 😂

[@VladimirLesbian420]

As someone that has been single and celibate over two years, this has been my favorite most relevant episode yet!! But, I would love to hear more about consciousness singleness in the age of climate crises, 4B movement, and also about the purposefully single people that just don’t desire relationships…. I’m kind of tired of hearing about single people that want relationships in a society that revolves around relationships, along with the fallacy that wanting a relationship as a human is a biological need/want, and that we have to learn to accept or justify our singleness.

[@jessistorm0102]

Commenting for the algorithm 😘

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

Unsung hero

[@samuelgiraudo8748]

I just watched through the episode and found it really interesting. I'm a little disappointed that ambivalent attachment wasn't discussed. I was really hoping for some insight into how that meshes with being single

[@el_2904]

Me too! Maybe she just didn’t have time to go into more depth, but I thought the ambivalent attachment style is still quite an important one 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s affected me a lot

[@AutumnSunn]

Argh, this one really actually drove me nuts! Dr. Girme seems so nice, but her constant use of "coupled" and "single"... no! Major ear cringe!!!! A little more nuance and inclusivity would have been nice ✌

[@chrisfrench5304]

I'm sorry Alena , i love you by the way x . This singleism thing just has ageism written all over it . I struggle with the new terms for everything . I'm now 52 , Been happily ( so i thought ) married 3 times , but never new "love " What is love ? It is a learnt emotion . My Parents never " loved " me . Never showed love , what is love ? I couldn't feel that love towards my own three children , I never truly loved myself . So Singleism isn't a life choice , but an invertibility.