Living with Bipolar Disorder

[@CerysG]

I can relate totally to the 'new ideas' in hypomania, however I'm not Bipolar (or have not been diagnosed anyway) I can remember once I woke up and said "im going to make a victorian dress today" so I went out and bought all the equipment and started planning it all out. Two weeks go by and I have still not made the dress, instead I am really depressed and do not have the energy to make food let alone a victorian dress. I can just relate so much to everything that you are saying. Scary, thankyou for this video. Extremely helpful

[@FunnyClipz1000]

You seem to be very clear minded. And, you are a good communicator. That really shows how this can affect intelligent people. Bi polar sufferers can be anyone. Hope you continue to do well

[@Counselingtherapyonline]

One of the most important aspects of managing BPD is to learn how to stay conscious of your thoughts and emotional reactions but without becoming identified and overwhelmed by them.

[@mmmeijer0]

Exactly how i throw the handbrake on it .Greatly formulated

[@KingJimmyC]

Online Mindfulness Therapy via Skype I find moving out of the mind and moving into the heart is more helpfully. The heart has 5,000 more thoughts and faster neurons than the brain. You gotta have heart kid! When an athlete goes in the zone his brain literally stops working.

[@jasonwilliamkeller188]

Yea, I found I can survive better being married. Ive noticed all us bipolar people have the exact same things in common. I need to find a group in real life and make some new crazy friends lol

[@crazycaira2885]

"Depression isn't just simple sadness, it's like drowning, but you can see everyone around you breathing" I don't remember who said the quote

[@muf9399]

Well said!

[@bethchristensen1560]

I just want to say thank you. I think this is an excellent introduction to Bipolar. I have shown this to students each time I teach Mental Health subjects because it is so good. I always get comments about how good you are at explanations

[@cadencepiper1]

growing up bipolar I have learned that only we can teach ourselves restraint. its tough and takes much skill because even when holding our tongues we still need to express ourselves. for me, to walk away and have a personal freakout is best. we are all different in our needs, but having close people to listen helps a lot too.

[@steadfastricardo1034]

Lauren, you have a lot of courage to speak out about your condition as you do. It's not easy to do that, yet you bring awareness to many of those who do wish to understand their situation and bring light to life. Life is precious. I wish life blessings to those who deal with the sufferings of mental illness. My understanding of bipolar comes from a close relative I assist and care for. My heartfelt compassion for you and your family and those caught in the depths of despair related to mental hardship. May spiritual hope embrace people in their true identity. JPR Life coach and spiritual guide

[@TheWreeper]

My affliction is Bipolar I Disorder, your story mirrors mine. I have watched many posts, and I appreciate your concise and straightforward explanation. I am 40 now, my life has been filled with deep peril, failures and, or extreme accomplishment, successes. As I look back, it all screams "bipolar!", even as early as my pre-teens. I'm glad people like you are being courageous. I'm trying to get there, and I really hope society follows.

[@linguaphilly]

You are exceptionally comfortable in front of a camera for an amateur vlogger, which is really important in making the video viewable, so congrats on that! (: and of course on destigmatizing all of this

[@OzDrew70]

Thank you for sharing and telling your story without all the typical cliches. Very courageous and well worthing listening to. Well done.

[@ilovejah5002]

Thank you. I can really relate. I am bp 1 and have dealt with this disease for almost 50 years. When you talked about regarding your fixation on a new job choice or endeavor really hits home. If a bp person can "ride out" their mania until it is over and make 0 decisions and 0 purchases.... they will do much better. They have to mindfully understand that their desires are not really their own but rather the disease.

[@odamayriverproductions9656]

Hi Lauren, I am new to KZbin and it is video's like these that are helping me so much and i am so grateful.. I feel as though u were just describing me - I have had the ability to stop Christmas (for myself) due to overwhelming panic. Mental illness has destroyed my life and i have lost so much - family, career, social skills, credit rating etc. and I have literally hid away from the world for over 7 years only going out at night or when it rains. thank you from my heart

[@ROCKLIKEACOBB]

Wow. I've been watching videos about Bipolar tonight...yours is absolutely the best. I will use this to show a family member who had bipolar 1 and vacillates between acceptance of his disease and denial (depending on what state he is in) You have described so many of the exact details that we live thorough...cycle through...I hope this will make him feel better, more normal and finally realize that this is NOT HIM, this is his brain...thank you.

[@BrianBenedict72]

As a member of this fun club, I just want to thank you for looking into this disorder for your family member. Understanding is the key, especially post mania. My parents lived in denial (even though I was long term hospitalized at 15) took me off my drugs, learned nothing at all about my affliction and basically just told me I was a bad person. That was 30 years ago though. Attitudes have improved.

[@dyce122]

THANKS FOR MAKING THE VIDEO LAUREN, I HAVE SUFFERED A LOT FROM MY BIPOLAR DISORDER, AND MOST PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE FEEL OR WHAT WE GO THROUGH, BTW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, GOD BLESS YOU.

[@riccihideo1567]

Thanks for being Brave enough to share your story on here. I can relate so much that it gives me some hope.

[@lrx54]

This is so generous of you to share your story. Thank you, it's helpful for me.

[@bexled]

hi lauren, thanks for posting this video. i was diagnosed about 8 months ago when i was 21. What i have experienced seems very similar. Specifically with delusions of grandeur regarding my career path. Glad to know I am not alone.

[@deniselisa3257]

I have Bipolar and i go through the same thing everyday. This helps me! Thank you

[@jonesy2111]

Thank you so much. I'm learning to accept and live better with this illness

[@hollyModified]

Your story sounds exactly mine. Thanks sharing. I never know how to put in words what I'm going through.

[@brendalovell591]

Thank you for sharing.

[@PortiaMotsage]

Thank you so much for your experience. Its very encouraging!

[@jasonp6589]

Thank you for this video confession

[@ianspencer9907]

I was just recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months ago. At first I thought it was an incorrect diagnosis, but after watching your videos, I can relate to your feelings so much. Some days I feel like a God. Some days I'm so happy I want to cut myself open and play with my organs. But other days I'm so sad I want to just lie in bed for days, unable to even talk. It sucks, but I'm so excited to finally get help. Thanks for your help, love. :)

[@follielafemme]

thank you for making this video, I could really identify with you. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2. Most of my episodes seemed to be rapid cycling except for the huge bout of depression that lasted nearly a year which made me seek help. I was just treated for depression and was thrown into a bad manic episode doing alot of things you mentioned. I also work in research administratively, but it's still stressful. I'm not really stable right now, the other day I was in a hypomanic episode looking into going back to school for astrophysics. I don't want to go back to school, graduate school was when my undiagnosed bipolar got really bad.

[@ryanschmit3948]

This is a rough disorder but it sounds like you're on the right track. Mine is minor id say so I go about it with no meds but with a very low stress life and I manage fairly well. The key really is to find that low stress job and have a lot of support from friends, family and your partner imo. Cheers!

[@bazebl1022]

I have bipolar disorder as well and a lot of what you said resonated with me. Thanks for making this video. I worry sometimes whether my disorder will disrupt my life goals. But I always remember that I can't live in fear and it is better to try and fail than to live with the regret of not following my heart. Thanks for making this video.

[@tamicagarnett1978]

+bazebl1022 when you're bipolar trying and failing isnt always the best option... im always so scared of triggering depressive episodes ive pretty much jus try to keep everything stable! It's no way to live, i know, but when i get more stable meds i think i might give my dreams and hopes another go... hopefully im not too old!!

[@bazebl1022]

+Tammy D My advice is to not worry about triggering depression. I think that the more you think about depression, the more likely you are to "trigger" an episode. So, I would just try to move on with your life once you are stable and try not to worry about becoming depressed. You might find that by doing what your heart tells you, you put yourself in a healthy mindset that buffers you from depression.

[@PRS-qh5jf]

Thank you for your' video, it has given me insight into some of my friends who live with bipolar disorder. I also wrote a case study on this video for my psychology class (I think Ill get a good grade!!), you are very well spoken and I hope all is well in you' life!!

[@HanhHoang-sj6cs]

I suffer with bipolar disorder everyday. Life is such a rollercoaster. I'm glad I'm now able to control it.

[@robbignell1629]

Thanks Lauren. I found the video insightful. Therapists seem to be hindsight theorists. If you experience the manic phase the thoughts and emotions can escalate beyond any theory of control! What may work for some people may not necessarily work for everyone, if it did we would have a cure!

[@mlo0240]

Oh wow! When I was diagnose with bipolar disorder 1 and 2 🙄 I had over 20 credit cards. I have gotten hospitalized in a mental hospital. It was very hard to coped with all the tsunami! If I saw a shoes that I like I will buy all the colors!!! A job?! OMG!!! I’m a cosmetologist, nail, technician, almost an English teacher 🤪 And Mary Kay products SAVED me because I can buy certain amount for my business, but I get all the money doubled back!! It’s awful. Nobody understands, but I don’t care about them I just care about me, my 2 dolls and my husband. I went from a marathons, Crossfit, bicycle, swimming, to be handicap because also I have fibromyalgia!! So it’s good to hear from others what are you feeling. Greetings from Puerto Rico 🇵🇷

[@thewalkingdad6519]

Ur lucky to have a husband who understands and is there for you. Good luck I just recently found out I'm bipolar and it's pretty shocking for me

[@hellomelissasue]

That is really cool your husband is there for you! You are good at expressing yourself. I identify with a lot of your feelings. Has medication helped you at all? How old were you when you were diagnosed? How often do you cycle and do you have periods of being okay in between your cycles? Your camera doesn't look bad at all it looks pretty good :)

[@8324049697]

hey thank you for this. I was diagnosed bipolar depression. but when I saw this. I was like "and that's why". so thank you for this that I've found myself and my reason.

[@vadimislearningguitar4977]

hello beautiful Lauren - also suffered quite a lot with a down crisis in 2018 that led me to lose my driving license ... a long story - but the thing that really pisses me off - is that here in italy where i live now - nobody seems to be willing to talk to you openly and clearly.

[@SuperMissblueeyes]

Thank you so much for this. Having struggled with & (thankfully) overcome severe depression & anxiety, I want to work with people with mental illness issues. However, not having had bipolar myself, it really helps to watch peoples' videos & listen to what you all have to say about your experiences. I've already asked rawsammi who told me about listening to people. What one other piece of advice would you give to a mental health professional? I'd be very grateful for your advice.

[@vicarious8989]

i feel all these feels

[@huneebunch1901]

Ahhh. I can so relate. Deciding now if I should stick with my job. It's super stressful, but it pays well and it challenges me. But I worry it's too much for me sometimes.

[@onemanonedog9997]

Thank you so much. I'm Bipolar for 29 years. I also stay up late because I don't want to face the next day. Other things you discribed are me to a T. I tend to minimize the fact that I have this condition. Thx again.

[@crazycaira2885]

As well as the "cutting for attention thing" I think it's more of a numbing things, somewhat release, but it numbs me. Keeps me from thinking of anything else

[@chaaruzuchibi]

Oh bless your heart I'm right down the same alley! I can SYMPATHIZE!!! :)

[@JunLiSF]

Thank you so much for providing this video.

[@jasonwilliamkeller188]

we always have great personalities :)

[@jarose8455]

Thank you for doing this video! I really appreciate it.

[@bipolarlauren]

Really the worst part is that I get treated like I'm gross or diseased. It makes no sense, and yet it's the reality I'm living.

[@dellacobbraswa5436]

That is a terrible experience when you know you are doing all you can. I really hope you have some healthy, safe people who pour into your life. Hopefully educating others, like you are doing, can mitigate the negative feedback and outright falsehoods. Even if you change one persons outlook or response, that is one less problem others with BPD will have to deal with. (Note: my name is Kerry but our account is under my wife Della. Just a bit of transperancy.)

[@mrmrsmac4584]

wow.. such a great view of this disorder.. thankyou so much!!

[@per_ringnes]

I relate to much of what you are saying

[@jasonmusic3]

Thank you for the video.

[@stephaniedegange2737]

thank you for your honesty...i'm bp2 , also....

[@amycole5309]

S

[@jimegan5564]

but it certainly adds up. I guess I must skirt the line between Bipolars 1&2. I usually gravitate towards hypo from baseline and then back to baseline within minutes sometimes. My depression usually exhibits itself in lethargy. When I haven't slept enough I can find myself going back to bed for several hours. I take 3 meds in AM and 2 at PM, a 6th one I use PRN. They've been very good for me, but obviously have their side effects. Thanks so much for your openness. Take care.

[@melvoniabouwer7896]

Thanks for sharing your journey

[@EthanReilly]

My Bi-Polar 1 is so severe that I'm hypomanic WITH medication.

[@thathat6609]

I can relate very much. Thank-you for sharing!!

[@stefaniefreebird6687]

WOW! I fell inlove with a guy that's bipolar/narcissistic. He's gone now, he's prolly either found someone else to latch onto or fell on depression. He's not responding to any of my text. No matter what I say. I told him to FUCK OFF because he hurts my feelings when he's mean to me... Why is it? when it's good it's really good? but when it's bad it's unbearable. I'm trying to move on by dating other guys but it's hard. I miss him a lot. I'm supposed to be a tuff suffocated Black women, but around him I'm like a child begging for attention. I feel with bipolar persons, they make you feel more alive and no matter what your going through it pales on comparison. Thanks for your interpretation, it means tons to me.

[@latanyaCole]

Stefanie the co dependent no more ....wow I can relate what you are talking about I'm going through the same thing now...... do you care to share

[@hannahroddy534]

Hello Lauren. My name is Hannah, I'm 18 years old and I am a writer. At the moment I am working on a story about a girl called Alana who suffers with bipolar disorder. I'm doing lots of research on the illness in order to do justice to it through Alana. Thank you for uploading this video! It is hugely informative and very brave of you to discuss such a personal issue with the world. I do have a few questions about living with bipolar disorder, do you mind if I ask you? Thank you and I hope all is well with you. - Hannah.

[@michaelureadi2884]

Thank you so much for sharing this video..I can Identify with you so much..!! I've been struggling to live with this illness and come to terms with it...

[@guadalupemedina6734]

I never really understood my need to hurt myself. Thank you for your honesty. I was diagnosed Bi-Polar 2 as a teen and when I get into my depressed state I tend to hurt myself, I do not cut, I put cigarettes out on my skin or slap myself till I bleed. Like you said it is not for attention, I do it mainly to "feel" something, or to punish myself for feeling out of control. Do you ever "Punish" yourself? I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and have been wondering if I am Autistic or Bi-Polar and am trying to learn if I could be both. I hated my Bi-polar diagnosis growing up, and Embraced my Autism Diagnosis, but I have to wonder where one Disorder starts and the other begins. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and personal experiences!

[@muf9399]

Your description sounds much more like borderline disability. Hope you got help in the meanwhile.

[@samwatson9510]

WOW You're so strong hun! thx for the vid.

[@Gabbyh1987]

thanks for sharing your story. good to know i am not alone with the feelings i have and so understand the thing about people thinking self harm is attention seeking, i get that a lot of times from professionals but the last thing this brain wants is attention.

[@joshuacrumble1171]

when i am manic i get angry and pessimistic, i also get very irritable and hate myself and the world

[@crazycaira2885]

Thank god I'm not the only one. I've actually started thinking I hate people, when really I'm just mad at the fact they don't realize certain things

[@bethchristensen1560]

Well done.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

I've essentially been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and I totally get the mania symptoms of delusions of grandeur and wanting to change career path. My friends notice that I am "erratic and always changing my mind about what I want to do with my life" and I actually used the excuse for not killing myself "I can't die, the world hasn't seen my genius yet." Deep down, I get the strong feeling that I am going to kill myself at some point but I don't know when. I'm also a lot more outgoing and social and energetic when I'm manic. I'm having a mixed episode right now and ran 4 miles non stop yesterday whereas normally I wouldn't do that. I get this feeling in my gut, almost like I'm on a drug and there's no weight on my shoulders and everything is fine. As yet, I haven't spent money where I can't afford to or gone off on a crazy adventure but I have good self control. But then I have periods of depression where I want to die and cry a lot for no reason and wonder why I'm even alive. Last week, for example, I self harmed just to get through my day at work and I just feel a real emotional pain in me and it's really hard to get out of bed and I just feel worthless. I also sleep far too much and cut everyone off. Then it goes completely the other way. I'm waiting for medication which I get at the end of the month.

[@greedog47]

+LemonZeppelin Man, you need to talk to someone about what you feeling. If you check online, there are crisis support groups like NAMI. They are nationwide and from what I've heard very helpful. You can't wait, talk to somebody. Don't give up, there is so much to life and people really do care about you. Even if they don't say so.

[@AutomaticDuck300]

+greedog47 Thanks, I'm on Seroquel now and it's really helping me to get on a more even ground.

[@xHimeYuna]

I feel the same way as what you exactly just said, except I haven't done harmful things to myself knowing it's against my religion. I have a massive mood swings, I am completely lack of motivation and all that. I hope it's just a typical depression for me.

[@loriepantano1615]

i have just been hospitalized for the first time, and i have bipolar 1 with severe mania, scary to say the least, I'm trying to understand why ME?

[@loriepantano1615]

i have just been hospitalized for the first time, and i have bipolar 1 with severe mania, scary to say the least, I'm trying to understand why ME?😥

[@blkjax1101]

Thank you for sharing

[@blackdogadonis]

What if I've become alienated from everyone because they don't understand what bipolar is. They think it's schizophrenia or psychosis. I've lost everyone except my dogs.

[@roseeleven]

thank you.

[@roguesealock2143]

I'm 16 and my Dr. just diagnosed me as Bipolar. how do you deal with it in public?

[@MidgarZoloms]

It doesn't just mean spending money, is that correct? I feel the same exact way as you but without the feeling to spend money. I spend it obviously, just not how you describe

[@itsicekold1]

i'm diagnosed in Friday but I'm also positive i am to, bipolar. it's very misunderstood.

[@carterfaye2229]

I'm bipolar but, i wasn't diagnosed. I'm afraid to tell my parents because they always wonder what's wrong with me.... plus i'm afraid to get diagnosed

[@solomonpilot2510]

THX 4 SHARING ,HAVE U EVER CHEATED ON UR HUSBAND ,WHEN HIGH MANIC ?

[@kaylablondie315]

how do i know if i really am or how can i get diagnosed to know ..

[@MichaelDerousselle]

I have Bipolar II also. You sound so much like me.

[@xthecrazybutterflyx]

Your depressive symptoms are alot like mine. I feel worthless, and think everything is pointless. I avoid doing anything and everyone. I don't really have the sad feeling either. And I hate it when people think that your attention seeking if you are cutting. People just don't understand.

[@eliaselias7632]

i think ive been bipolar since i a little kid i want to seek for help but at the same time i dont. is it a long process?

[@Beanmachine91]

im noticing a corelation between money and bipolar disorder, has shopping given temporary happiness? even if you know your spending money you should be saving? i have taken that route several times before

[@guadalupemedina6734]

One of the main distinctions with Bi-polar 1 and 2 is the amount of money you spend. someone with bipolar 1 will spend their whole life savings without a thought where as bipolar 2 it is more controlled, like spending your entire paycheck without thought of the consequences.

[@kopynd1]

manic then crash,horrible illness, the first comment that describes in detail the bipolar illness, manic crash manic crash , and it starts all over again the next day, self harm is not about attenion, you are trying to destroy those thoughts but you dont know how, you have a good husband that can guide you through your manic episodes, take care

[@michaelmacias7387]

smoking pot seems to Help calm it down i just gotta have pot when im starting to feel it come up

[@BipolarPerson]

Hi! I see bipolar vloggers stop, I hope your okay.

[@alliterati1]

You sound like me. I have BPII too.

[@victoriasmith2512]

What we can't do when we're manic lol

[@bazebl1022]

+Victoria smith I know, I feel like im on top of the world while manic. kind of casts a shadow over whenever im stable. It's like God's sick joke or something, giving us something nice and then taking it away while we are haunted by fond memories and our current mundane existence

[@slimjadey1493]

is there anyway i could talk to you ? kik , instagram , something like that

[@sariiconk7023]

i am living with bipolar ...mmh i shock but this real...

[@Beanmachine91]

do you ever get that question, "you were fine minutes ago!" i hate that so much, i have aspergers syndrome, but i do believe mood swings are a symptom the disorder i have. are mood swings related to bipolar?

[@factoidnerdist199]

They definitely can be. I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder a hair over a decade ago, and I had this feeling inside in general that "something is wrong". Bipolar isn't just mood swings, naturally. I truly hope you have access to the treatment you need, not just with mood swings but Aspergers as well. :)

[@Beanmachine91]

Factoid Nerdist my only concern is wondering if i can qualify for medical marijuana, it treats aspergers, i know it does. but my rite of passage for legal purchase leaves that fate in the hands of god. i hope fate is in my favor. i hope autism spectrum disorders are a qualifying factor in california, because the list of conditions is vague. although i heard it is easy

[@factoidnerdist199]

Beanmachine91 I hope so too and best of luck to you! Here in Missouri we don't have medical marijuana. Heck, it hasn't even been decriminalized yet. But hey, someday. And it's only a plant, amirite?

[@Beanmachine91]

Factoid Nerdist i got my card in the past week!

[@factoidnerdist199]

I'm so glad to hear that @Beanmachine91!! I read in an article that with mental illness it's fighting 2 fights, one with bipolar (and/or any other mental illness) and the other with the stigma attached to it. Keep fighting the good fight. I know it's very easy to give up (I fight with this on a daily basis) but it can be managed.

[@camcoder7247]

That's crazy

[@dailywad4987]

One time in band camp I went completely manic and wasn't allow to come back.. Then I got depressed.. You see that's our life.

[@MegaMissfitz]

we,ll put that down to ur sarky little "special condition" 📝📝📝

[@MumblebooCP]

I have bipolar and I take about 2 pills to calm it down. Im scared im never gonna get married cuz nobody would wanna put up with me :, (

[@lpsmelanie7383]

Don't think that! Someday out there loves you :) to the world your are one person but to one person you are the world :)

[@rocsto]

U will im bipolar i tell we r human too just be yourself cause u know what i think u rock why i said this cause bipolar sometimes have a great side

[@modjtabai]

You will never find love

[@factoidnerdist199]

Don't ever, ever think that. I'm married to a wonderful man, and we are both bipolar. Sure, things get tense around the house, but we understand each other. There are thoughts I wouldn't dare to share even with my immediate family for fear of being stigmatized, and he lets me know I'm not alone. Bipolar has a lot of unnecessary and narrow-minded stigma attached to it, but you don't have to let it disable all facets of life. Which, believe me, is easier said than done. I've lost I don't know how many jobs just because of my bipolar disorder. But, with treatment I'd like to say I live a (sorta) normal life.

[@mightyelmo902]

hey lauren

[@roddwayne8792]

I hate being bi-polar, it's awesome. Stay safe eh:)

[@MumblebooCP]

i have bipolar(:

[@mandolinJo]

I pray the blood of Jesus on You..................

[@5winder]

You really can do great things... but not living with a 'disorder'... by living with Jesus. Just treat your past as a series of 'episodes', and pray for guidance. Avoid pharmaceuticals... which can cause suicidal ideation. Your husband sounds great . God bless you.

[@A_Beautiful_Death]

How was she able to get a masters with this disorder ?

[@devonnicholson2350]

It doesn't make it impossible to learn or commit to completing anything.

[@tamicagarnett1978]

+Devon Nicholson you promise? hopefully someday i can see what you're talking about...

[@devonnicholson2350]

Tammy D Case by case but I'm confident that we have the ability to overcome anything with the right kind of help.

[@A_Beautiful_Death]

Devon Nicholson Keyword here is help. Some of us don't have that luxury.

[@tamicagarnett1978]

they're right so many of us will never be able to afford that right kind of help...

[@RaphaelNation]

Thank you for sharing.

[@RaphaelNation]

Was there a specific time that you can remember when you first experienced symptoms and how long was it before you were Diagnosed?

[@loriepantano1615]

i have just been hospitalized for the first time, and i have bipolar 1 with severe mania, scary to say the least, I'm trying to understand why ME?

[@loriepantano1615]

i have just been hospitalized for the first time, and i have bipolar 1 with severe mania, scary to say the least, I'm trying to understand why ME?😥