Loglines Are A Big Problem - Jay Fingers

[@filmcourage]

How would you rate this logline on a scale of 1-10? Can you make it better? LOGLINE: Sent to a remote island to bury the dead, a wisecracking young inmate soon finds his life in danger when the island is overrun by hordes of the undead who had been killed by prison guards.

[@thinkforward8752]

I preface this by admitting that I'm no writer, film script or otherwise. However, I do appreciate writing and the flow of good lines. With that said, the last bit of the logline ("..who had been killed by prison guards.") sounds off to me...a tad wordy. How about this instead: ...when the island is overrun by hordes of the undead; *victims of murderous prison guards* 💀 This draws everything to a close in a more succinct manner. It's less wordy and has a better flow & feel. Agree? Disagree?

[@Thenoobestgirl]

Was this logline inspired by Hart Island by any chance? 😂 Edit: lol whatching a few minutes into the video it clearly is.

[@finc4164]

A wisecracking young prison inmate tasked with burying his murdered cell-mates on a remote island must fight for survival after they inexplicably awaken to seek vengeance.

[@ComicBookGuy420]

It would get me reading the book, so a 6-7

[@taiwoash1388]

Definitely too wordy.

[@holedplot]

This is like finishing a big painting but being forced to make a overall sketch to send to galleries so you can promote it.

[@HarrisTheHeckler]

Loglines are like a lot of things in the business; they're a shortcut. No writer likes the concept of their work being judged based on a sentence or two but no producer can read every script that comes their way. The only method to thin the pack is to start by asking, "Does this sound like an interesting idea?" which is the purpose a logline serves. Having scripts thrown at you at a regular basis kind of necessitates finding shortcuts.

[@ZekiLaurentSadic]

He doesn't say they are a big problem, he says they could be a pain (to come up with). I usually choose what I would like to watch, based in the logline, why should people that you want to read your screenplay be that much different?

[@passportandbeer]

Ikr

[@starbright6579]

I have always struggled with reading and writing. My grammar and punctuation is terrible. I would read a sentence out loud twice and my 3rd grade teacher was so fed up with my reading and terrible poor grammar that she took me out her class and told the people in the office I need to be in a ESE class, where students couldn't read, write, or spell. I remember crying because my writing was that bad my teacher gave up on me so fast and humiliated me more than the kids, anytime I read a sentence I would read it twice and she would stare at me like I was crazy. My grammar was awful, my reading, and so was my writing. Now I'm about to become a Screenwriter and author. I didn't know I would have a writing job.

[@Thenoobestgirl]

This is very inspiring! Proves how much the education system can suck. Well done though, and thanks for sharing your story with us! 😊

[@taiwoash1388]

This is awesome! ♥️

[@WahrheitMachtFrei.]

Your problem is you don't know how to get to the point of the bleeding story...

[@01Zenaku01]

Teachers always said my stories were cool but the grammar and spelling was awful but now we got grammarly and I'm working on becoming a new writer so do ya thing. 😅

[@cbstevp]

I always think of the logline as a necessary tool that will briefly introduce your script to potential readers. I also imagine it as a blurb in TV Guide (does that still exist?) where people look at the show's description and see if that interests them enough to watch the program.

[@ProbablyChar]

Yup pretty sure it still exists

[@michaelmacias8]

TV Guide that’s where loglines first started

[@pfarabee]

I don't like the concept of loglines either, but I can also see their appeal to producers. Why? Because the ability to write a good logline tells them that YOU understand your story and how to sell it. I'm not a screenwriter, but I did love reading Save the Cat, and from what I can see, the secret to a good logline is to distill as many story elements as possible into a description that hits the core plot points without revealing too many twists or being repetitive in wording. Also, including words that can be inferred without describing them adds extra bulk, and will flag in the producers mind.. like, if you can't trim the fat in your logline, what kind of extra bulk is in your script? For example, "soon finds his life in danger" is unnecessary, because of course it is in danger if there are hordes of undead. Also, LEAD with the hero description, that's the most important part of your logline. A wisecracking young inmate is sent to a remote island to bury dead prisoners, where he soon finds a horde of the undead hungry for the flesh of the guards who killed them. Yes, you can use that if you like it.

[@PresentFocus]

My perspective in taking in your discussion Jay is different. What I loved is how you broke down the log line. The way you embodied the discussion had me feeling the details of your analysis. For me what captured my attention is how you carried my interest through the log line until the end, "who had been murdered by the guards." My interest exploded with the possibilities for brutal nuance. Nice. My background is cognitive neuroscience, specializing in first-person representation or the self. I plan on creating conscious AI.

[@futurestoryteller]

I feel like I was pretty good at this once, but now I have an idea where I'm like "Wait, this is a spoiler? Would I want someone to read a spoiler on the back of the box? Is this supposed to be a back of the box blurb? Of course it is, why wouldn't it be? Should I try to limit it? Maybe it should cover the whole scope." I inevitably start to wonder if it's just about too much. Like what the hell is the logline for Game of Thrones anyway?

[@sash9249]

I can't say that I've ever been totally satisfied with a logline I've written, even after months and multiple iterations.

[@ButterCookie1984]

Same here. It's almost harder than writing the story itself.

[@filmcourage]

How do you feel about loglines?

[@christophermoonlightproduction]

I kind of feel the same way. They're a way to grab a producer before they're out the door but honestly, they're silly when you really think about them. They're an idea of a story but ideas are worthless. The execution is where the heart of a story is at and to hang all that on a logline is a testament to how intellectually lazy Hollywood has become.

[@michaelmacias8]

If you’re trying to get a job writing for TV Guide yes otherwise they’re a waste of time.

[@starbright6579]

I love loglines.

[@edwardzimmerman3483]

They are a necessity... However, I will go back and read loglines for the first film in established movie franchises, But because I know the context I can envision their story... I envy the younger generation that can judge these descriptions without being tainted by having grown up during that films history...

[@S.Clause]

Well, from what I just learned about loglines from this video; I would say they should come first before you even begin to write. Isn’t this their initial thought about what to write? Some one just doesn’t sit down and start writing a script (story) without an initial thought or idea.

[@level_ken5231]

Log lines are tough but fun. It’s really about the pitch and presentation. It’s also a good practice in writing with brevity while striking the balance between establishing a premise and not revealing the whole plot.

[@wassupinlasvegas9735]

A-men. Loglines are a marketing tool. Marketing is NOT storytelling, so asking the writer to create one is a difficult proposition because they're too close to the material. The issue with the logline that he crafted I see is that it's mostly plot rather than theme which answers what the story is about. Kudos for getting requests on it - it is, in some ways, much more difficult for the writer to craft than the story itself.

[@chadpeters7255]

So glad to hear this! This concept destroyed my confidence in so many ideas.

[@poiluparadis]

Nothing is necessary but difficulty shouldn't be the barrier.

[@taiwoash1388]

I’ve never read a log line and said “Ah, I need to watch this.” I find them sound boring and unnatural by default.

[@alienboy1322]

I feel insecure writing loglines. Everytime I show it to someone, it always doesn't match the criteria of what people look in a logline

[@3dchick]

Actually, for fiction books, the ones that work best are around 150 words. You'll see longer, but in self-pub, genre fiction, shorter and punchier is still recommended as best. 😇

[@jayleejordan3002]

I absolutely hate loglines lol. I feel like they always seem robotic. I can never get them to encapsulate the tone and vibe of my scripts. I definitely will be taking extra time to perfect

[@Wordsley]

These Rock!

[@MiguelCruz-oz7km]

I'm glad he explained where he believed his logline hooked people in because when he was reciting it I had the same reaction. Aha it's the murdered prisoners that are rising from the dead. That's intriguing. It opens up interesting possibilities.

[@dantaboo]

Damn, I hate loglines too! They are not as easy as they look but how else are you going to sell your script to producers and consumers without telling them the idea of your story with one or two sentences? Logline is a necessary evil for writers to master and better understand their plot as a whole.

[@spencerpalmer2918]

Thanks

[@nikoger8617]

Hi :) Can i ask ,what you think about this logline ? Lone earthling with social anexity gets call for help from aliens, who created humanity .

[@BuntyKumar-vq6ek]

Please provide plot example

[@BartScantlin]

"Oh wo iz me, the drama of writing a logline". /sarcasm. Loglines are fun - they are a puzzle and the fun is assembling them. Writers / artist embrace challenge - we don't run from them.

[@thinkforward8752]

I preface this by admitting that I'm no writer, film script or otherwise. However, I do appreciate writing and the flow of good lines. With that said, the last bit of the log line ("..who had been killed by prison guards.") sounds off to me...a tad wordy. How about this instead: ...when the island is overrun by hordes of the undead; *victims of murderous prison guards* 💀 This draws everything to a close in a more succinct manner. It's less wordy and has a better flow & feel. Agree? Disagree?

[@filmcourage]

Interesting feedback. We've just pinned the logline up above. Maybe you can copy and paste your comment in reply?

[@accorsistudios]

do we even need prison guards? Just victims of murder, avenging their murder.

[@leonoradompor8706]

Amen

[@JonasPolsky]

Yes, loglines exist as a tool for lazy producers and their assistants, but they also serve an important purpose for the screenwriter. By summarizing the plot, it can be clear if the story is both original and if it's worth telling. If my logline is "a child goes to a birthday party but gets lost" it may not be worth anyone's time, especially the screenwriter themselves. Likewise, if the logline is "a character realizes he's living in a virtual world and must bend the laws of reality to stay alive" then you'd know that it's probably too similar to The Matrix to be made. A logline is a single sentence, and if you're going to write 900 sentences to create your screenplay, you can force yourself to write 1 more sentence to market it.

[@level_ken5231]

Question. Is it ok to put your log line on the title page of a script? (Under the title and author, of course.)

[@kerwingo99]

No they aren't. lol

[@FAKKER_rap]

if u cant describe ur premise in two sentences u have no idea what ur plot about

[@kuramobay2445]

Sure, I have a master's in loglining ;-) Check this out, Mr Fingers. A wise-cracking young inmate assigned to burial detail on a remote prison island wields jokes and weapons with equal panache when the island is overrun by hordes of undead inmates who had been killed by prison guards. Got any more?