Losing to Alexis Lee (CalArts Thesis Film)

Alexis Lee is the star of the track team. She's fast, she's a heartbreak, and she's so, so pretty...
Sunny must beat her at all costs.
Film by Vanessa Kwan
Alexis Lee voiced by Stephanie Snider
Music and Sound Design by Connor Nolan connornolanmusi...
My thesis film from my final year at CalArts! Thank you so much to all my teachers, friends, and family who made this possible. I love you all.
contact: [e-mail]
portfolio: vanessakwan.art
Find me on social media @
/ nesynn
/ synnyi
/ synnyi

[@synnyi]

Thank you all so much for all the lovely comments on my film! I can't believe it's already been almost half a year since I completed this little monster. It's so thrilling to see so many people's reactions to it! Stay safe, keep running, and keep the love going strong :D

[@gregorycookjr.7392]

Your welcome! Keep up the great work!

[@fulanadetal6099]

i really like it!!! what program did you use to make this animation???

[@synnyi]

@@fulanadetal6099 thank you! I animated in TVpaint ☺️

[@Milk-vx2vx]

@@synnyi This creative work of yours was done so wonderfully! The storytelling is phenomenal. I was able to empathise with both of the characters, whose looks and characteristics are fitting. I enjoyed the animation enough that I wasn't able to look away at all. I really appreciate everything about this (: One question though; are the characters sapphic?

[@lunaglass8913]

Do they listen to girl in red tho?

[@deafanie5740]

And they were track mates.

[@zesty9721]

Oh my god they were track mates.

[@malikmuhammad9085]

* Walks in a quick frustrated manner*

[@cyber_zen8366]

Oh my god . . . . They were gal pals ;-;

[@incrediblemaxishere1780]

oh my god they were track mates

[@done5524]

Oh my god, they were track mates!

[@user-qb6hm8qw2n]

Hey, really nice contrast to the character designs. Alexis being really sharp and triangular, even her name sounds sharp, while being nice and friendly to her rival. Unlike the main character, that has soft features but is more agressive.

[@Edible_Kittens]

Excellent analysis.

[@aduckinlingerie]

that’s so true! when you say her name, you almost hiss.

[@hindsunup6777]

I love your examination!

[@falconeio]

Not only was this well animated, both the story and its telling held you in place till the end, not giving you the option to look away.

[@lexustn2733]

lol

[@eggshellem]

me being pissed off at the girl I had a crush on because I didn't want to be gay

[@insomniac1184]

Same here I dated a girl, but I thought she was a boy. When I found out I was angry at her for proving that I am actually bi and angry at myself because of how it explained why she refused to kiss me when I really wanted to. She didn't want to ruin my first kiss like that. But Jace, if you are reading this. Know that it would of been the most colourful and beautiful thing that would ever happen to me. And I have been an idiot for being in denial for so long, I hope everything is going well for you at uni.

[@soldiertricksterlemon6494]

Lmao😂

[@papasscooperiaworker3649]

@@insomniac1184 I know it's been a min but have you ever reached out to her since you posted this? Sounds like you really love her

[@insomniac1184]

@@papasscooperiaworker3649 i could never find her. We kind of parted ways and never spoke again. I really miss her sometimes

[@maquelinemyojo3999]

@@insomniac1184 Damn :.0

[@sojaboon6327]

You think she's unreachable. But you don't allow her to reach you.

[@anoushkakonnur2112]

this.....was beautiful. thank you

[@k4eru20]

that moment with the cougar was amazing i felt like i was holding my breath the entire time

[@RandomizedAsian]

Do they listen to girl on red?

[@majourvelencianna5810]

Hopefully, yes.

[@ranizza_]

I've been seeing this a lot can someone please tell me what this means? :)

[@smolbean2159]

@@ranizza_ it's asking if the girl is gay. Girl in red makes wlw songs so... Hope it helped! :)

[@ranizza_]

@@smolbean2159 yes this helped a lot! Thanks💕

[@cronchycorgocat1376]

You better believe it

[@indy286]

this puts the experience of liking someone in a form that I've never seen before, but it encapsulates it SO WELL

[@gabrielborjas7923]

It's enfatuation haha

[@chrisi_s]

this is literally poetry, it's so well written

[@happynaturalist1793]

Wait... at 3:05 is Alexis delivering a note to the protagonist’s mom, checking on the protagonist while she’s sick? That is sooooo sweet.

[@sarahhamed4496]

That's probably homework lol but I like the note better.

[@mish469]

you really had me squealing throughout and CRYING (crying!!) at the end. as an avid runner and aspiring animator, this film is absolutely gorgeous to me. and the prose, and the visuals- goodness, I can't praise you more. :)

[@synnyi]

Oh wow thank you so much!!

[@pumpkinsmush2489]

This kind of reminds me of when I had a crush on a girl in elementary and mistook my feelings for her as pure hatred, deciding that she poisoned my lunches on her way to the water fountain...

[@snuffythefloof5448]

HAHAHAHA oh my god (have you read dear dumb diary?)

[@pumpkinsmush2489]

@@snuffythefloof5448 Oh god, I read that book in elementary school!

[@derrynkai]

the animation!! the amount effort that must have gone into this. :((((( i really admire artists because they can do such wonderful things like these at the tip of their fingers. this was amazing! and, hey, losing to an alexis lee wouldnt be too bad. i lost to mine three years ago

[@Dr.Wuffles]

The story telling here is amazing, and the pallet and composition is gorgeous. This is absolute art.

[@papercotton]

palette

[@Dr.Wuffles]

@@papercotton Did that ease the pain, or do your emotional scars still persist?

[@papercotton]

@@Dr.Wuffles you spelled 'pallet' instead of 'palette'. also: 'the palette and composition ARE gorgeous.'

[@andressica6993]

3:41 I love how this scene shows Alexis the way black haired girl saw her. Gorgeous and dangerous. Because the whole time one can think ‘Why doesn’t she just talk to her? Why is she acting like she has to overstep some fear to talk to her? She’s being so nice to her and standing right there!’ But when she would run after a lion you would think ‘Wow, that’s so brave of her to do! I could never do that. But also kinda stupid, isn’t she afraid the lion will tear her down?’

[@shoelaces_]

I especially adore the Chekhov's Gun of the warning sign in the forest when she first goes running there but this whole film is just brilliant

[@katevanrys9131]

H e y I k n o w w h a t t h a t m e a n s

[@jules8025]

@@katevanrys9131 same and know i feel smort

[@jillyjollyjelly]

what does that mean

[@shoelaces_]

@@jillyjollyjelly To quote wikipedia "Chekhov's gun (Russian: Чеховское ружьё) is a dramatic principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and irrelevant elements should be removed. Elements should not appear to make "false promises" by never coming into play." Essentially in this example, emphasis is put on the beware sign around 1:30 drawing attention to the fact it'll be relevant later and while it could have just been forgotten about it is paid off at 3:40 where the reason for the beware sign appears.

[@dave5194]

Yep I thought it was a bear sign and I wondered if she was going to be attacked by a bear later or something. Cougar made a lot more sense lol

[@claireschweizer4765]

litterally any girl: I like women. the universe: SO YOU HAVE CHOSEN ETERNAL PAIN

[@misfit_raven4367]

MY FUCKING GOD IKR

[@pinkstrawberries1768]

🤣🤣🤣

[@RadicalTactical]

This is accurate of making any WLW oc and decided to go to the pain route

[@davioncarvalho6890]

Fr💀 it's so unfair😔

[@eslanta7343]

THIS IS SO TRUE 💀

[@drewwilliams3780]

THAT WAS AMAZING! The storytelling was fabulous and the animation was like a dream. The whole time I watched this I felt like I was a child getting told a bedtime story again and watching it play out in my head. Amazing work!

[@iwantaoctosteponmyneckbut3545]

3:33-4:08 is one of the most beautiful fucking shitasticular superlativy goddamn straight-up brilliant scenes I've ever seen. You made my day brighter, Vanessa Kwan, thank you

[@urasimp9546]

R they gay? I feel like they would be in a relationship or something, its not that it matters but I'm just curious

[@sidfan42]

reminds me of that "are you lgbt or something" meme

[@urasimp9546]

@@sidfan42 ohhh, you mean like, " Is he gay? Or Eurpeon?

[@synnyi]

@@sidfan42 me with my girls running around the block: let's go lesbians let's goooooo

[@brendielahooha]

The narrarator/protagonist clearly has feelings towards the blond girl. Not sure what kind of feelings

[@ranizza_]

I like how u didnt assume, it's nice seeing someone ask b4 immdientaly seeing them holding hands or something and think they're in a relationship. Very respectful.

[@ni2296]

this was absolutely STELLAR to watch I LOVE IT !!!!! Its so good ;-;,,, I especially loved dream desert scene and the scene with the cougar !!! They were both very beautiful to me

[@ICEBUNNo]

This entire animation is so beautifully made and the way you portrayed the emotions was very unique, amazing, and quite frankly... genius. The entire scene with the lion really made me say “wow” out loud. What you did there was just PERFECT. The emotions and symbolism were VERY well executed and so were the composition, the shots, the backgrounds, timings... everything, really. All the details that come together to make this are just perfect. I cannot stop replaying every few seconds.

[@bubblegumsparks2449]

The view from the second seat may not be the best but your seeing something different that the first seat can't. You gotta appreciate all of it, the frustration, overcoming, acceptance, you may even find beauty in it. I love this, goes right into my animation playlist

[@silver_riotsgames8213]

Honestly this is severely underrated. I can't imagine what will come next. Especially with these two characters.

[@kkav4586]

I love how the spoken narative tells us that Alexis Lee is treath. An unbredictable and unavoidable danger. Something that only brings pain and confusion. But the visual telling is giving the absolute opposite. Someone kind, concerned and NOT looking for ways to hurt. Often glorified, but still distant. And then the narratives finally come together, once the protagonist comes face to face with the mountainlion. It's dangerous. But also beautiful. It could kill her. But it doesn't. It moves along, content to leave the protagonist be. Just like Alexis Lee.

[@arnesonblair4673]

This is so beautiful. I'm kind of generally emotional atm, but I teared up a bit. Such a good representation of a crush.

[@hoshisbones8375]

Ok ngl the moment where she was in the dessert with all of the dust and wind made me wanna learn how to animate 🥺🤝💖 it looked so cool how the wind pushed the dust into the air and how the narrator broke into pieces I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THAT SCENE 😿🤱💖

[@s.san1369]

Is the cougar supposed to represent Alexis Lee in some way? I love symbolism and want to understand it but I don’t quit get it sometimes. Either way, this was a beautiful animation as it was poetically. Like really. It was raw and true and may I also add gorgeous. You did so well!!!!

[@thayse7744]

For my point of view, yup, like the cougar, Alexis is seeing by a winner, and fast, at the same time she never attacked the other character

[@thayse7744]

And we can see the parallels between the start where she falls and Lee tries to help, but can't do nothing because the protagonist doesn't let

[@Petrichorus-]

Beautiful and considered a threat?

[@ravenroth4055]

I believe so, because she sees her as a threat, something more powerful than herself, and yet beautiful and alluring at the same time.

[@ravenroth4055]

@@Petrichorus- I should have read the comments first, lol

[@Henri-zh6kf]

Really good stuff here. The story unfold perfectly and the art looks great. "I hope you see what I see" does the fact that my first though was "your booty" say something about me ? btw you need to do more stuff like this.

[@madisonc1588]

Hah, u gay! Nah but for real, it was so good!

[@SerenaSurprise]

oh gosh!!! just the storyline!!!!! the voice's pause at that moment when Sunny saw the bobcat!!! absolute shivers!!! and all her expressions of anger, determination, and joy has me flailing my arms

[@happynaturalist1793]

Fan theory! I think the main character started running in wilder and wilder places because she didn’t want to run into Alexis in the burbs. This ironically cat-apulted her (ha) into physical danger, rather than facing the emotional danger of realizing how she really feels. I keep coming back to this film because it is sooooo good.

[@jacobmccarthy2083]

"i was one track meet away from being lessbean"- my friend watching with me ps. great animation!

[@sarahmclaughlin5592]

when I saw the beginning i was like "please let this be a gay love story" and you did not disappoint 💕

[@dinogamer7214]

Don't assume

[@jamieh2499]

they're rivals. very much yes. (I was also hopeful and satisfied)

[@jamieh2499]

@@dinogamer7214 the creator says "shoutout to all my lovesick fools and your "Alexis Lees"" on a twitter post about the short.

[@gabrielborjas7923]

What captivates the most is that I feel these two characters already have a life before we are introduced to them. Like, there's still much more to tell than what it is actually shown. Btw, at 3:53 I thought it was Sufjan Steven's Death with Dignity lol

[@fartsmeller29]

I have a character like this. That struggles, in life. With everything, while her peers get so far ahead of her. She feels like she isn't strong enough. Which she's so embarrassed about her failures, that she tries to act cool.

[@larateresa2313]

THEYRE SO PRECIOUS I CANT

[@BasilWyrth]

haha 3:18 xD "OH NO I'M GAY"

[@aribennet1128]

It be like that lmao

[@alex_thee_weirdo9591]

I make that face all the time when I'm thinking about something even remotely gay lol, I'm making it right now

[@randomalex5119]

We've all been their xD

[@randomalex5119]

@@alex_thee_weirdo9591 same

[@MayaTheOwl]

the lighting in this is phenomenal, the animation, the dialogue, the cougar, uGH its all so good, amazing film

[@Zephirite.]

The visuals are gorgeous (so many run cycles, all communicating different emotions), but I really love how the words both keyed into them and stood on their own. They sounded like poetry, but explained and deepened the protagonist's thoughts so poingantly!

[@teacupincc]

“i’m gonna kick your ass >:(” “jokes on you, i’m into that”

[@Angelpubbys]

ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS?? god the animation, storytelling!! I LOVE ITTTT AAAA

[@carolyng1699]

I have jealousy issues, and this is exactly how resolving it feels!!! I've never felt so represented before. I feel someone understands me. Thank you for making this.

[@vincenttaylor5115]

I love how this entire movie is just "you can't catch me gay thoughts" animated!

[@polarisqwq]

Words cannot describe how much I appreciate this. It feels like home.

[@FolstrimHori]

This is so teenage angsty that MCR spontaneously apparated behind me and started playing Helena. Excellent work!

[@TechnicallyArtist]

Goddddd O catched this one on the end yesterday night and I really needed to watch the whole thing! It's amazing, and beautiful, and I kid you not I'm crying right now! I just loved the concept, and the story, and the style and the animation! Really good!

[@synnyi]

wow thank you for checking out the stream and my film!!! really means a lot

[@chrisi_s]

and here I am again. I've lost count over the years -- every time it feels just as beautiful

[@alenazhang8629]

i dont know if you see this comments but man your brain is so big this is awesome

[@sarasuarez5529]

This is top 3, favorite CalArt films... And i watch a lot of films.. The poetry just enhances everything that's already so good!

[@Edible_Kittens]

The writing is what catches me off guard as being absolutely gorgeous, not just the animation. Stunning.

[@itstimev2730]

I can not physically express how happy this makes me And this is like my 15th time watching this

[@jadenanimates1913]

This was so adorable, her crush is so relatable too

[@bspark6817]

Absolutely amazing. This is a moving story that hits on so many notes of struggle and awkwardness as we grow. I instantly thought of my daughter who is finding herself. The struggles and joy of coming out, being gay and proud. Becoming a young woman and finding love. So well done.

[@starry_lagoon]

breathtaking, beautiful! the colours and animation are stunning, and the story is so heartwarming

[@juliespanggaard8397]

you are severely underrated, i absolutely adored this little film, the style, the animation, the bright colors, and storyline, this was very pleasing to the eye, i hope to see more projects from you in the future ❤️❤️

[@half-doomed]

that was the most poetic 5 minutes of my life,,, gorgeous film,,,,

[@chaeyoungvideos5742]

I LOVE THIS SHORT SO MUCH! THAT SCENE WITH THE COUGAR WAS BREATHTAKING

[@thetherrannative]

The animation was gorgeous, but the poetry was truly the most beautiful part of this.

[@heyitsyanaaah]

the first 20 seconds and i was just so into it! This is such an amazing film and i hope this gets to be seen by others too

[@TK-_-GZ]

algorithmic punch! (This was quite good. Especially your excellent use of narrative and visual foreshadowing. [the cougar waring sign, the lion eyes stanza, and just the lovely way you told a story about love and fear. Thank you for making this.)

[@search4jane]

This. This is the coolest thing to show up in my youtube recommendations in a while.

[@ibytales7465]

Omg this is so good, the emotions that show me is so fucking incredible, thank god for letting me see this (sorry for my bad english)

[@meh9677]

Why are those animations so fucking cute😭💜I'm in love with this!!🥺

[@guccigirl2389]

It is a crime that this video doesn't have more than a million views

[@toph3487]

DID YOU DID THIS MAGICAL AND AMAZING AND BEUTIFUL FILM THAT I CAN'T STOP WATCHING ???? IT'S SO GOOOOOOOOODD I LOVE IIT, u good, u have my lesbian approval

[@JayTheDude-l1j]

I was so hype for this, it's even better than I thought it'd be

[@vellaha7819]

this is an actual masterpiece it needs so much more attention

[@alexmathewmendoza]

Found you on Twitter! You have a very charming art style, the colors choices are so amazing!

[@anastasiahkmelyar1580]

this film is so underrated! this is absolutely amazing

[@garbagegorl1834]

Aaaaaaaah I wish I could find the music somewhere online ive been looking everywhere. It’s so good

[@garbagegorl1834]

I think that it was on the composer’s website but it’s gone now I guess. And yes I’m still looking for it a year later

[@garbagegorl1834]

Year 3 of searching for the soundtrack. Lol, still love this film and coming back to it.

[@ali5645]

The amazing poem narrative gives it a unique cinematic touch, the way the characters face moves feels very emotional, you can feel the atmosphere from the amazing lighting, every shot is a beautiful compliment of colors and the choice in music fits the scene incredibly well. Your animation looks edible nom

[@graaceie]

I have been looking for this FOREVER!!! I love this so much!

[@stardynamite3762]

Chills, literal chills

[@chrisi_s]

this film is life changing. I still watch it all the time

[@reys.7393]

This is so amazing! the story- the writing and how it contrasts the actions of Alexis. Hits close to home. beautiful film, fantastic job!

[@stickwashere5248]

aaaaa i love this animation so much, rhe soft calm voice of the narrator, the smart dialog and the overall story of this gay girls doing track and dont get me started on the animation, the colors and character design and just the whole package is such a delight :)

[@Itsjoydoodles]

THIS DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE!! the animation is amazingggg

[@mikeychoipokemon]

What a great video! The animation, colors, characters. Everything was amazing! One of the best short animated films I’ve watched!

[@wumin_jia]

oh my god this is so amazing. the poetry in the lines and how they beautifully reflect on the animation. your animation is so amazing too, the coloring and the fluidity of everything, specially in the running. that "the sun looks good on you. i hope you see what i see" really seriously got me. this is amazing, thank you!

[@wumin_jia]

i also want to mention that "im gonna kick your ass" is amazing

[@katevanrys9131]

This is INSANELY underrated, have a sub.

[@user-me8kd5cf9z]

This is downright poetic, never stop

[@claireschweizer4765]

I had to watch this again it being so good and it made my heart freeze and my eyes tear just as before. This is so well done. To me there is nothing more powerful than a woman's gaze or feminine love and affection and lesbian same sex friendship and romance is such a constant real presence and the wonder if you admire a woman who seems like they could feel the same way about you but there's no way of really knowing or esspecially admiring someone so intensely who doesn't experience the same thoughts and feelings about females at all. For all those girls out there who are considered bi-curious and asking themselves "Do I really like her or do I just want to BE her?" my answer to this is...yes.

[@LM-et6yt]

oh, i love this!!! the way you built and released tension was so well done!!

[@andyhunjan]

I watched this ages ago and I think I had an idea what it meant to me. Now I'm not sure, but I'm ready for when new meaning hits. Beautiful video

[@ayostap6700]

This whole thing had me in tears. It's beautiful

[@khushivora3946]

this is beautiful - the story, the colours, the design. loved it

[@mayas3422]

this was so gorgeous and I loved the symbolism and everything else about this it's so good!!!

[@spammusubi1607]

What a beautiful short film!!

[@chizu.u2986]

I wrote a short story just like this in 10th grade! I loved your character designs and the beautiful movements that they made. Watching this was kinda like seeing my story brought to life :) Hope that you're doing well

[@skylarsanest]

Phenomenal. Absolutely amazing.

[@chlocomelon]

historians would say they were track mates, or even enemies

[@Zelda7707]

Absolutely breathtaking. Reminds me of my youth and brought tears to me eyes. Amazing job!!!

[@kyloren1308]

this is such an incredible delight!!!! from start to finish i was hooked and now my heart is so full ❤️

[@aquadragondavanin6745]

i've been looking for this!!!

[@definitelynotcole4842]

enemies to lovers is literally the best ship dynamic on the face of this god forsaken earth

[@BovineDesigns]

"I hate seeing you leave but I looove watching you go."

[@moss5356]

Superb story telling right here. And the animation is just too good! Also the colors, don’t get me started on how well the color choices are!

[@noahlesh8001]

THAT COLOR COMPOSITION THOUGH

[@VerbenaHA]

Woah. Script heavy and very pretty to look at, I love it!