Love and Basketball... and the Black Gender Wars

[@ane3sha]

disappointed you didn’t mention one of the biggest reasons this film is seen as a meme: it had to be about 60% of BET’s programming 💀

[@AI-mo6tx]

The other 40% is baby boy

[@lagransu]

@@AI-mo6tx🤭🤭🤭

[@joshuamcdowell9745]

I've never saw Quincy and Monica as goals. Quincy was Monica's first and only love. She never gave herself a chance to move on and to see what else was out there after she and Quincy broke up in college. She was stuck on Quincy for majority of her adult years. She even gave up the one thing that she loved the most, which was basketball, because she couldn't have Quincy. She got a job at her father's bank despite playing basketball over in Spain. Monica needed to live and she didn't. Your first love isn't always the person that you are supposed to be with. Monica probably miss out on her true love because she couldn't get over her first.

[@coolfear360]

Oh that’s interesting.

[@chescawest]

Please continue preaching…

[@oyecomova5478]

🙌 there it is

[@mandeanraje2300]

Right??? At the end of the day, this seemed like a story of how women ultimately bend to the pressures of society to get what they’re told they really want or are supposed to want and have. Her life just felt unfinished, like she just resigned herself. Idk, I was just rewatching it too and I was just sad.

[@joshuamcdowell9745]

@@mandeanraje2300 Don't forget Monica's mother gave up her dream of being a caterer and settled for being just a wife and mother.

[@clint8623]

As a black cis woman, I must admit that I don't often think about the black man's experience, nor do I listen to any content creators who speak on these topics but man am I hooked on your channel! I have been watching religiously since I first heard about you from Khad' channel. Love your perspective,my hubby and I often engage with your view points for hours! PS, love from South Africa

[@yveqeshy]

I was just saying this too this is like 1 of 2 channels by black men whose content I follow consistently

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

He can articulate the black man’s experience & portrayals in media without blaming women like certain other content creators. It’s refreshing to be honest.

[@nknelson8499]

Fellow South African here too lol. This guy's takes are so good, well researched, and articulated. Definitely a breath of fresh air from the cesspool of toxic masculinity spewed by some black men and women on here.

[@JulianSteve]

I understand your point of view Clint. In my channel, I try to be neutral with both genders. We need a balance, especially in the Black community. F.D Signifier’s content is one of them. You can checkout Foreign Man From A Foreign Land and Corey Jones. They are both Black male KZbinrs. Their contents are good too🙌🏾‼️

[@aliyalove4518]

@basedadonis2354It does matter to that level.

[@Boahemaa]

I revisited the movie after you mentioned it in the Love Jones one. I am not surprised a woman directed it because its seen from Monica's perspective. The ending also validated her career choice. I found the dynamic between Monica and her mother more interesting. Her mother saw her tomboy attitude and success as an indictment on her own choice to be a stay at home mother. I don't think Quincy is a FB but he definitely expected Monica to pay more attention to him than she could given her schedule was just as busy as his. I like that in the end Monica didn't need to sacrifice her own ambitions to be with him. This movie was really well written.

[@lowlowseesee]

yea Q came off as a dude wit FB qualities but he wasnt full FB. if he was portrayed like most men in his position he would have been full fuck boy. like zak stacy level shit lol

[@ForeignManinaForeignLand]

Only Fiq could get me to wanna watch Love & Basketball for the first time dread. Big up ya self bredda ✊🏿

[@Domic462]

You cheating yourself

[@amandaclbn8324]

I too, just watched it for the first time mid video

[@SJBrown2210]

Omg I’m so glad you’re talking about this Black dating thing! I have dipped my toe into the black women empowerment section of KZbin and I’m a little conflicted because personally, I find some truths in what they’re talking about but then they mix in “being in touch with your femininity” and get overtly homophobic and transphobic and then I get all uncomfortable. Just wanna say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

[@omoid1749]

Let me introduce you to..... Shanspeare Tee Noir Khadija Mbowe To name a few

[@juratory8876]

@@omoid1749 Also Kat Blaque!

[@akashaj8610]

And mahogany pink

[@akashaj8610]

And Intelexual Media***

[@melanino]

I completely understand you, its only when i found other black women that identified as more queer, or at least queer friendly that it finally felt like my voice was heard on youtube.

[@MrBoltstrike]

Can we...like, can we talk about Tyler Perry and his influence on black film making and film making in general? Also Spike Lee.

[@FDSignifire]

I got 7000 words on Tyler from like a year ago, but that's gotta be like a milestone video cause Tyler don't play with KZbin

[@happygucci5094]

And how problematic She Gotta Have it is... There is a LOT in that one- that still unfortunately holds up...

[@treestonecreates]

@@FDSignifire Looking forward to seeing it on nebula then, its honestly better to see your videos on there and I'm glad that you get to put out your content on there. Hopefully its a bit more lucrative and you don't get fucked over like you do by google.

[@jrdn0010]

@@FDSignifire alright you heard the man. Tyler Perry vid at 500k run it up

[@VolcyThoughts]

Yes please. Talk about how he normalized mediocrity

[@krysj_]

I’ve never seen anyone call Monica and Quincy relationship goals I think that it’s so loved because it’s relatable, it’s very real showcasing classic teenage miscommunications in dating and how much people see themselves in the characters

[@silkence9561]

Exactly I don’t think it’s goals it’s relatable

[@kieranmcleod801]

This channel's content just keeps getting more interesting and engaging. Hello from Wales!!

[@chescawest]

“And Barack Obama” petty! 🤣💀 Ok so now that I’ve finished the whole thing. I think one thing to add as to why women consider Quincy a fuck boy and why the many of us don’t think it’s relationship goals anymore, wasn’t because we equated him to Future. Not every fuck boy will be a Future. But a lot of women (and men) have dealt with the “I’m fucking around but the only real connection I’ve ever felt is with you.” 🙄 it’s a tiresome trope that has been played to death and I think a lot of men placed the Monica and Quincy relationship and that final scene on a pedestal to validate this concept that a woman is going to be there and will fight for them when they’re ready. I think the idea that there’s a woman out there who’s going to sit and wait for you to sow your wild oats and get it out of your system until you’re ready to commit to her is more harmful than admirable. (Women too… same trope for Laura Winslow and Urkele)…

[@ShawtyReal01]

@Fran, I’m not sure if I truly agree that Quincy embodied this trope you just described. What he wanted from Monica was to be a priority, to choose him over all else. Because if the situation was reserved he would have chosen her. But I will say that there are men out there who are like that, who have that expectation. I would say what your describing aligns more to Morris Chestnut character in Best Man than Quincy.

[@briannawaldorf8485]

JustBri that in itself is an unhealthy expectation though. Partners shouldn’t be expected to drop their entire lives because they love someone

[@nikkimango2649]

@@briannawaldorf8485 Precisely, she even makes a point to say she wouldn't ever ask him to make her his top priority over everything else in his life. Their priorities were fundamentally different, and they should have either stayed broken up or learned to compromise in a way that worked well enough to meet each other's needs without betraying their own needs. The end of the movie implies they made the latter decision but only after she made the insanely out of character decision to give up on her life's dream.

[@kionnakelly2918]

This! I'm tired of the ride or die trope.

[@JayP4show24]

Who’s to say they didn’t compromise oh their priorities in the end? The last shot is her literally playing the game she loves and having Quincy support her from the sideline. Also, he admitted in the earlier scene that he was going through things at that time giving the impression that he has grown some since the breakup.

[@diaarden]

As a black woman who understands the urge to expand the dating pool, I’ve been seeing the rise of “divestment culture” and it scares me. Like, black men and women are a publicly traded stock to buy and sell on NASDAQ as their value fluctuates. *heavy sigh*

[@lisah3460]

Once you let go and accept that people should date who they want to date. Then your life will be much easier. Unless you deal with people care way too much on IR dating. Then you have a headache. However I hate the divestment community. It is toxic.

[@getoffmygrass4857]

love who you love. its just disingenuous to say because there are no good black men, im gonna date white men. i think it should be i met a white man and we instant clicked. i think alot of black people have unrealistic expectations about eachother and imo it just shows how much they hate themselves but choose to express that hate outwardly instead.

[@lisah3460]

@@getoffmygrass4857 There are good and bad men in every race though. I mean look at Betty Broderick. I don't justify murder but she killed her no good husband.

[@mandeanraje2300]

I hate and am very interested in the capitalistic language and metaphors used to explain / advise on relationships. I wanna know if that’s new.

[@lisah3460]

@@mandeanraje2300 Like high value. What about the guys character. That is what is missing from these channels. The divesters and the high value channels

[@thermostable1149]

So glad you touched on the black manosphere and unflattering aspects of some black womens empowerment space. As a Gen Xer who is open to listening to younger perspectives, I have been wondering if I’m out of touch but I have come to a similar conclusion that you expressed. And yes, stay away from commenting further on the topic; those folks are relentless.

[@krsouff]

Yes. And the wild thing for me is that some of the loudest and most influential voices in both these spaces are our should be elders. Pink Pill, KS, KSC are all Gen Xers. It’s like they’re intentionally leading the babies astray. Why?

[@getoffmygrass4857]

both genders content creators understand that there are black men and women out here lonely and hurt and choose to use that to gain funds. notice the channels that get the most views always have a negative perspective of the other sex. a channel that showed black men and women expressing their love for one another wouldnt last sadly.

[@akashaj8610]

@@krsouff what do you mean why lol MONEY 🤑💰🤑💰 Fox news has been doing the same thing for the same reason for decades.

[@RoseEyed]

The communities are so toxic even good black men are afraid to speak out against them for fear of they and their followers getting harassed and doxxed. Just sad

[@Aries73]

As far as I’m concerned, both red and pink pills are stupid pills all the same.

[@JessieBanana]

Didn't she play basketball in Spain? My 2021 ending would have Monica finding herself a cute beau in Spain (I can't remember if the movie showed her dating there), have a full career with a confident partner who does his thing (and doesn't feel the need to one up her), and living her best life (with or without a husband and kids). I would have had Quincy getting therapy for his issues. I'm not making light of them, they're real and getting in the way of him discovering his identity and what he wants. I would have had him living his best life with someone else. Rarely do these rocky or abusive relationships resolve themselves to the point where the relationship is salvageable, but people can get to a place of peace and wishing the other person luck in their futures. I also think these tropes are more damaging to girls, because we're literally taught to find this toxicity romantic. That goes beyond race.

[@Acidfunkish]

I'm not gonna get too much into this, because it's a tiny bit off topic, but... My step dad was the best man I had ever met, and it wasn't because he was super traditionally masculine, it wasn't because he'd fight or yell at anyone who threatened him or his loved ones. That just wasn't him. He actually made me realise what value a father could bring to a family; something I didn't realise actually existed, for probably fairly obvious reasons. And he made me want to be a better person, just because seeing him EXIST made me realise it was possible. I truly didn't know that people could be that GOOD. He had some more traditionally masculine traits, like he felt it was his responsibility to keep our family financially stable (but my mom had a good job, too). Not only that, though, he thought it was his responsibility to keep us happy and fulfilled, too. He wore it like a badge of honour, if he could make us laugh or smile. He would gush - to literally anyone who would listen - about how much he loved his family, both in front of us and when we were nowhere near. He made me want to be a better person. He wasn't judgemental of anyone; he didn't see anyone else as above or below him, at all. If someone tried to be mean-spirited to him or anyone else, he would try to kill them with kindness, after which, they'd usually feel so bad that they'd apologise to HIM, even if he wasn't the target. He could spend hours talking to strangers, and he'd always find a common ground, somehow. And he was never afraid to admit if he was wrong. He really believed: "It's better to be eventually correct than perpetually wrong." He just passed around 8 months ago, and I'm not gonna really get into that, because I don't want to start crying again, today. But before I met him, I didn't really have an idea of what a "man" was supposed to be, besides entirely repressed and incapable of praise. And I feel really fortunate that he was able to change that perception. He was just a good PERSON. And he'll be forever missed. But he had an immensely positive effect on my life, and I feel so fortunate to have gotten to know him. And I'm so glad my mom got to experience a healthy marriage, for once. THAT'S what a man, a husband, a father should be. And I don't think anyone will be able to change my mind of that, now.

[@MissAlmostFine]

This was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

[@silkence9561]

Golly I’m happy I read your comment in its entirety. Im sorry for you loss 💙🙏🏽

[@TheChildfreeCurlyGirl]

I'm bawling. So sorry for your loss.

[@juliangreen9930]

I mostly remember Love & Basketball as the go-to film you put on when you a girl agreed to come to your dorm room to "watch a movie" in the years 2007 through 2010. Even back when I was young and dumb, Quincy & Monica's relationship rubbed me the wrong way. Monica seemed determined to sell herself short by not wanting to separate herself from Q (despite a ton of good reasons why she should). And Quincy seemed equally determined to punish her - and simultaneously himself - by acting in ways that are clearly outside of his character.

[@lowlowseesee]

i watched it with a very young white stripper chick two years ago. its still a fav among so many

[@pisceanbeauty2503]

No matter how one feels about the movie we have to admit…that movie soundtrack was fire. 🔥🔥🔥

[@josephmatthews7698]

God damn it hurts seeing women put down other women. "These fast ass girls" reminds me of how my sister talked about other women to my nephew and as a result my nephew grew up with some fucked up views on women. That shit matters. He even went to jail for domestic assault and his mom literally wrote it off as, "Well she hits him all the time too." That just ain't healthy.

[@ativaadzem566]

I really appreciate the point made in this videos especially about female dating coach that had me mad for months until i realized that following their advice would not help me . I am still trying to figure how to date but putting a performance is not something I want to do. Existing as a black woman is hard enough

[@akashaj8610]

Check out the channel by mahogany pink

[@ativaadzem566]

@@akashaj8610 I have seen her stuff. It's not for me either though i acknowledge that she has some good advice

[@similoluwajunaid831]

@@ativaadzem566 hey i could not watch the video but whuch female dating coach did he talk about

[@fangal12]

@@akashaj8610 IMO Mahogany Pink is just as toxic as Chrissie. Tee Noir and For Harriet are pretty good

[@TheDailyPaige]

I think people are too hard on love and basketball ( I was one of them) but it’s actually pretty realistic. I think people forget it’s okay to compromise in relationships or extend some grace for people to grow. I do wish Monica explored other options more and we saw her dating but I like how the movie came full circle where Quincy told Monica she was going to be his cheerleader but at the end he was hers.

[@Tadaia]

Agree. These were two young people going thru growing pains. Quincy had temporarily lost himself when his idol and father’s failings were exposed. I’ve seen a lot of women and men do far more hurtful things than he did in this film. Lapse aside, he understood and appreciated Monica in a way no one else did and that’s why she loved him. I personally love the film.

[@nicolehester9031]

Just catching up on this video, but I have to commend you for another great one! Very good and nuanced view of a movie that really is of it's time, in good and bad ways. I did want to commend on your thoughts about the believability Monica not being happy playing basketball in Spain after her relationship with Quincy ends, because I think for her it ends up being about balance. Her whole life she pushed for basketball as an outright rejection of her mother's domesticity. If the scales have to shift between career and family, she's picking career all day, every day. But when she loses Quincy, she starts to realize the hollowness of choosing only career, just like she always saw the hollowness in her mother's choice of only family. Basketball is great, and wonderful, but it's only a part of life, not the whole thing. In the end, you see she finally found the balance she needed, with her passion for basketball fully re-established, and the domesticity she previously rejected now being fully integrated. I'm not saying it isn't unnecessarily binary, or limiting to what a woman's (person's) life can look like, but she needed to have it all to truly be happy. Keep up the videos, I'm loving them.

[@Kyarrix]

Really good analysis, thank you for adding it. I loved this movie when it came out but had some problems with it when I rewatched it a few years ago. I thought the acting was good. The first time I watched it I remember being riveted. It felt emotionally real. I'll watch anything with Sanaa Latham or Gabrielle Union. I think your comment about her wanting balance or her awareness of the possibility of not having it by only pursuing basketball and that dampening her enjoyment of basketball was perceptive. Even though she's been pushed to be more feminine and give up what she loves, she doesn't allow it to push her too far in the other direction. I've never liked how the movie made her pay a price for her ambition. When a woman has ambition in a movie (or in most media and arguably in life) and succeeds, there's always going to be a scene where she is broken down in order to show the audience that in the end, she's still just a woman and not a threat. Valuable, but still only a woman. The scene will humble her and not so subtly convey to the male audience that they don't have to worry. Worse, it teaches us to expect to be humbled, to expect to pay a price for our ambition and success. Monica is exceptional, she's smart, driven, ambitious and talented. Initially I had written that because this movie was made 22 years ago, it had to humble her to reassure the male audience. Unfortunately I think that would still happen.

[@noxmagubane]

Dude , I really hope that your platform grows ,you are doing a great job 👏🏼

[@cynicalnoloc5122]

This becoming my favorite YT channel; I stay looking for new vids just to make sure the algorithm don’t fuck up on me even though I’m subscribed and got the notification bell on.

[@domanicriley2412]

I don't usually comment, but Sig's content is exception. Mostly cause I appreciate the perspective and knowledge he has, and that every video he posts gives me something to think about and reconsider. So, here's +1 for the algorithm.

[@omnistasis]

"...and Barack Obama." The way I cackled 😂

[@hellokittycutie2003]

When I say I hollered 🤣

[@michelle_9875]

What I have realized is that colorism severely outweighs the idea of hyper femininity I am light skin and racially, ambiguous looking, and I have a nice athletic body. I always have gotten the best man and I have always been hit on by desirable guys it’s really because of what I look like because I literally dress like a gym teacher. Sadly, I hear from a lot of dark skin women that they have to go overboard with femininity, because just their complexion alone makes them get deemed as less feminine.

[@vikkidc3859]

I looooooove this movie and even though I agree with the points you made, I do think the excessive backlash is somewhat necessary because it shows that more people are identifying red flags and calling them out

[@hunterm3051]

I'm really impressed by how you are so prolific while maintaining such a high quality

[@RDBlade]

LMAO! I sincerely hope that putting up pic of Christian Bale while saying Tom Brady was deliberate. It was hilarious!

[@thenegus5053]

Fiq I love your content. Your videos get better with each one. Personally, I think you were harsh on Quincy in your previous assessment but I'm glad you reflected on it. I don't like the Quincy is trash rhetoric because when you look at data (sadly some from evolutionary psychology and data from social psychology) most women calling Quincy trash... would date him in real life. He's handsome, in shape, popular, son of a basketball player... Yeah a lot of people that would date black men would date him. I love you analysis from Kevin Samuels because people downplay how much capitalism/patriarchy affects our perception of what is attractive. The only thing that you missed with KS is the constant influx of older woman feeling lonely and desperate enough to be berated by KS publicly just for advice on how to acquire that patriarchal traditional relationship. I love your analysis... But what breaks my heart is that it seems more people will come to your channel for drama (Chappelle) but not perspective. Either way keep doing what you're doing!

[@FDSignifire]

Yeah but that's just how it works. People always want drama. I'll give that out when I can. And more and more will show up for the more meaningful stuff

[@lowlowseesee]

women wanting to date Q types dont make him any less trash lol

[@lochofmceo]

All these chicks would blow Quincy

[@dd8645]

The relashionship was one sided. Quincy appreciated the connection he had with monica through basketball, but she was simply not the kind of girl he was looking for. He clearly valued classical feminity and to her, basketball was more important. The first time he makes a move on her is when she is dolled up for prom. If he truly wanted to be with her, they would've got together sooner. When he is upset, he expect monica to stay, even if it could jeopardize her spot on the teem (which she worked hard for and is now struggling to keep) because deep down, he doesnt take her craft as seriously as he take his. When for the first time, monica is doing well and he is having difficulties, refusing to communicate when she reaches out, he basically put down his frustration on her by taking another girl on a date, which is pretty toxic. He later ends up getting in a more traditional relationships with tyra banks's character, her looks and his money playing a big part in it. However, when he gets injured and loose his passion for basketball, no longer able to fulfill his role in the relationship and meet her expectations, he runs back to Monica, his plan b. Even then, she ends up begging him to be with her, despite the fact that he's the one who left her in the first place.

[@giovannime3192]

I could rewatch this movie over and over ago cause the music really sets the mood/point. Thanks for your input.

[@Discrete1998]

This is my breakup comfort movie. Cause she still gets him in the end. But I’m still so excited to hear about how it could be portrayed better, because so much of it just doesn’t sit right.

[@zee8166]

He should of just communicated what he was going through instead of humiliating her without any reason I felt like the movie would of ended way better

[@rainingonyx]

0:49 Love that camera check bruv, lol. Edit: Lookin good too, might I add. 🤝

[@TheOnlyTaps]

By the way don't mind my comment spam, been following a while but didn't really nicely sit and binge your videos until this month. So i been enjoying digesting them properly for all the ones i hadnt watched aince i originally discovered your videos in passing via Foreign man in a foreign land and enjoyed them but never really went back to enjoy the whole catalogue. Keep up the great work 👊🏿💜, definitely appreciate your takes as someone whos in their mid thirties its always enjoyable to come across black men older than me who are abke to discuss so many topics without going into that realm of chasing extremes that we often see these days with people just tryna make polarizing content where its always either extremely positive or extremely negative etc

[@isaiahsavoie3332]

I found your videos a couple of months ago. ur my favorite content creator on the platform. love your stuff

[@DeannaBaileytheRavensFan]

You never miss! This was so good! Looking back, this movie was never dating goals for me because I never pictured myself in a relationship at all.

[@Chae_shay]

That was not Quincy's first sexual experience at all. He was waaaaay too confident. He was just being patient with Monica because it was clearly hers.

[@thepurplequeen256]

Exactly. ALOT of things were off in this commentary. He even said in the earlier clips quincy mom found out he was sexually active. Then says it's his first time with a woman? 🤣

[@lalittl]

THIS VIDEO WAS SOOOOO GOOD! Thank you for making this! I never wavered in my love for this movie. I also got my boyfriend to listen to your review as well and he’s not even a big KZbin listener and he loved the video too 😊

[@lowlowseesee]

me either, i have always loved it. and im a film head. i have a collection that really shows that LnB isnt a top tier film. never the less its still one i enjoy. the last dragon is my fav movie of all time. is it a great film? no. is it flawed? yes. is it legendary, fuck yea

[@princesstriceestar]

I'm just want to be on record saying I've NEVER like this movie lol. I appreciated the love story part, don't get me wrong. Quincy though always rubbed me wrong. He was just so mean and abrasive to Monica. I could never truly see the appeal. Her love for him was too overwhelming. So much so that she never gave anyone else a chance. Maybe if they showed her trying love without Quincy, it would have worked for me at least, the "coming back" aspect.

[@smarti1144]

Yeah. I was like why does she like him. Why does it work between them.

[@kionnakelly2918]

Same

[@allencollins5666]

✅✔✅

[@jesscx7181]

ha thank you for this! I feel like I just had a convo about how this relationship had a bunch of red flags from beginning to end lol.

[@happygucci5094]

Facts

[@alexh6322]

The subtle but constant reinforcement of patriarchy is so real in all of these dating advice videos, I have a partner but I stumbled into a rabbit hole out of curiosity and I always felt weird about so much of the framing. Like so many of those videos really tried to make advocating for capitalist patriarchy sound like the most rational move just because they highlighted some problematic expectations in the black community. It was so surreal how they kept amping up and up until a lot of the dating advice was just telling women to abandon your community 🙃

[@jakestroll6518]

I think you need to acknowledge some privilege in that comment. You are after all partnered and therefore not in the same well of despair. I'm gay but I did fall into a rabbit hole for those female divestment channels. It sounded nuts until I listened closer . Most of those women have lived their entire lives hearing that their complexion or bodies are undesirable by the same community they are now expected to nurture, protect and provide for. I see no issue with these "abandoned" women setting their goals outside of a community that exploits them, discards them and then blames them for being too self sufficient. I also know enough about my community and heteros in general to say, don't get comfortable girl. To quote Kanye's prophesy, "when he get on, he gon leave you for a white girl". I'd empathize with your fellow str8 sisters, you never know what awaits..

[@gabrielar9611]

@@jakestroll6518 You eloquently rebutted that statement. And I agree with you except with the “well of despair” 😂 I feel it’s more from a place a of frustration more then sorrow. But everything else was spot on 🙂

[@alexh6322]

@@jakestroll6518 but again, I’m sorry you’ve had rough experiences and ultimately I hope you find the love you’re looking for, and I wish the same to people who are empathically looking for partnership and advice.

[@alexh6322]

@@jakestroll6518 The first part of my reply disappeared, but basically I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much trauma in the community. As a dark skinned, lgbtq, black woman I understand that the colorist, featurist, misogynoir standards can be very damaging. I never advocate for women or men or anyone to break their backs to uphold patriarchy, it’s a toxic standard that needs to be called out. And my partner isn’t a poc at all. I still consider myself lucky to be partnered and people should date people that will love and support them. But some of those rabbit holes make wh*te men into the solution when they’re another option that brings more complexities to the table. And some of those sources advocating for throwing all black men to the dogs, which isn’t a solution either. A lot of those sources never address the systemic issues that support a lot of patriarchal, heteronormative ideals that have created such toxic standards in the first place either. My partner supports me, but since he’s a str8 wh*te man, I can’t pretend this whole system and its ideal weren’t crafted to privilege his identity first and I can’t pretend that doesn’t bring its own set of communicative blocks to the table.

[@kionnakelly2918]

@@alexh6322 not everyone wants to or has to be an activist and fight the systems of oppression all of the time. BW are tired of the constant struggle and being expected to do all of the heavy lifting

[@TrizzCarter]

Bro, I clicked the Bell for you, I don't do that for no one. Keep it up.

[@CESS3D2Y]

You've been my favorite creator to put on during work lately, and this video came at the perfect time! Can't wait to listen and expand that world view

[@ccgirl5597]

Can you make a separate video that delves deeper into what you were talking about initially, like the toxicity of the current social media/dating space, and the pursuit of high value men/becoming one? I think that would be soooo interesting!

[@Constrict0r]

I really respect the work and thought you put into these video essays because it gives me insight into a world I don't have much experience with.

[@jbmp1390]

Shoutout to you for the good content my guy. I love the topics, and pieces of media you choose to discuss and the way in which you do it. I'd love a chance to have a conversation with you, you are extremely insightful and your commentary is intelligent and relevant. Love and Basketball is actually a much deeper and meaningful examination of a lot of things relating to black love and relationships, as well as ingrained notions of black masculinity and femininity, friendship dynamics, struggles relating to "tradition" and how that affects the younger generation(s). I could go on. Any way, great choice of topic on this vid and I'm glad to see you continuing your journey as a creator. I really hope that I'll be seeing you and your content for many years to come ✌

[@happygucci5094]

I love the fact that I don't always agree with your point if view- but I LOVE the fact that every single one makes me think critically, evaluate, hone and articulate my own position with mire precision. I go away having learned something and reflect on a LOT. Thank you Fiq- you are doing great work... Bruh- I literally cringed when Kevin Samuels came on...that needed to come with a warning! 😩😂 Nobody: Love Jones for the win!!!😁

[@jasondumb5706]

Thoughtful takes as usual. I think the movie Poetic Justice would be an interesting movie to examine with regard to the themes explored in this video.

[@jackando9762]

Didn't even start the video yet but just wanted to say that all of your videos are a great resource to get an educated perspective from someone I probably would never have a chance to speak to in real life considering I live in a small rural town and rarely leave my room. Keep doing what you're doing man, we need more people like you in this world

[@dbclass2969]

Just want to thank you for what you're doing with this channel. It's so hard to find progressive Black content that also focuses on men's issues in a way that isn't misogynistic. It's either conservative saying all women suck except for submissive ones, or liberals saying black men have just as much privilege as white men despite education or income levels. This video is peak intersectionality and I love it.

[@kionnakelly2918]

Not just as much but more than people like to acknowledge in the black community

[@lovemelawanzaj]

This one's for the algorithm! Another great video!👏🏾👏🏾

[@ryanharrison9501]

Amazing content bro! So glad to have found your channel.

[@siracastori01]

Omar Epps was a lead in House MD for every season, which was arguably one of the first shows of the Golden Era of Television and has always had steady, including high level, jobs: I wouldn't call that a mediocre career. I know this wasn't the point of your analysis, but I felt I needed to remind that.

[@zaxxers]

Love the video. It made me think of how I felt watching Just Wright. I was always so confused by a lot of Queen Latifa's rom-coms because I was always just thinking, "She's stunning and perfect! Why is dating her even a question?!" But the gender politics make it make more sense to me. Also I just had a crush on her, so that's where my head was at.

[@c3koz]

Just. Your work is so good. And on the internet FOR FREE! Seriously thank you. And also I gotta get over to that Patreon.

[@DMarrettTV]

So this comment isn't about this specific video but... I subscribed after watching your recent Dave Chappelle video. I've seen a lot of people cover this story (on both sides of the fence) but you definitely helped me see the situation through different lenses than how I perceived it. In short, it led me to check out other content. Though, I see you don't upload often, I appreciate the time and effort you take for your content. I respect your perspective and what seems to be true journalism. Thanks for occupying this space. Looking forward to more content.

[@RoseEyed]

People are not products or robots. We're HUMANS. Seek authentic emotional connections instead of performing what others WANT you do be under the assumption checking off arbitrary boxes of looks or finances are a winning formula for a HEALTHY relationship. Either can get you laid or a ring but NEITHER automatically mean emotional fulfillment.

[@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm]

The Church of the Algorithm officially certifies this video in the ones and zeroes of The Recommending Holiness.

[@Sarod2023]

Amen!

[@rahma6992]

Amen

[@LemonDove]

may the force be with you

[@GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm]

@@LemonDove No, it's the 15th of November.

[@smarti1144]

Amen

[@tonktay]

lmao after hearing your slight on tyler perry i hope you eventually make a video on his impact on black film inside and out of the black community.

[@ariesthoughts]

He just referred to that actor as the “Allstate man” and I legit refuse to look up his name cause that is who he will always be 😩🤣

[@kitten8249]

I love the way you can break down Love and Basketball and tackle the maniacosphere at the same time. Another great 👍🏽 video!

[@crowing3886]

Pretty unfair? Literally nothing he did in the movie was redeemable no matter how you slice it lol. Shit was tragic to see through a modern lense. Nobody would want their daughter to date quincy let's be real 😭 Unless you wanna compare it to typical toxic relationship goals stay away from love an basketball because per the usual, it's damn near struggle love.

[@lowlowseesee]

i hear you. the only thing that seems redeemable is the ending and how patient he was when he boned lol

[@RacCkhn]

I felt a little weird about Love and Basketball but this video really better contextualized the film and highlighted some aspects of the movie I had never really paid attention to. Well done FD Signifier 💪🏾💪🏾 Awesome analysis bro

[@marylander3798]

this is interesting, your analysis was always my takeway from this movie. I had no idea that there was all this commentary online about it lol. I think its because I'm not on the gender wars side of the internet lol

[@tanithlow8435]

Ah, I love your content so much! Just saw it and was immediately hooked. Thanks so much :D

[@kinokochan]

Before watching this video I only knew Omar Epps from the TV show House. Always thought he was great, and now I'm sad that he didn't get more leading roles because his performance in Love and Basketball sounds very nuanced. Definitely going to give this film a watch! Re: relationships under patriarchal capitalism, you're totally correct about people dating and marrying within their own circles. I work in videogames and so does my partner. I can't imagine dating outside of my industry because of how important my career is to me. Your description of Monica's drive really resonated with me there.

[@lochofmceo]

You never saw Juice? Explain

[@bighmay12]

Thank you for making the content I always needed.

[@DeeDee-zu2pv]

You know I always wonder to myself, "Is Clubhouse an absolute hellscape?" Thank you for confirming with those clips that the answer is "Unequivocally yes!" 🤣 Great video as always, lol!

[@phylliewilly]

As always, this was interesting and insightful. I don't agree with many of your points but they are still presented eloquently and they are thought-provoking. Thank you again x

[@krsouff]

This video feels like a miss for me in some ways. It feels like you worked really hard to give Quincy absolution, while overlooking or brushing over some key parts of Monica’s experience and development. I get it to a certain extent. I appreciate your ability and openness in diving into the inner world of Black men (which is much needed in society at large). And maybe that’s all I can/should expect from a Black male content creator..? I don’t know. I just can’t help but feel like I was left wanting in terms of a deeper examination of Monica’s character.

[@kmc1994]

They can’t get deeper. They don’t overstand us

[@kionnakelly2918]

Me too

[@lochofmceo]

@@kmc1994 shut up

[@tyarahernandez9291]

Such a great analysis. I haven’t watched this movie in years and after this I wanna watch it again and see it from this POV.

[@shanejohnson6855]

Excellent video Fiq. Please do a video on Tyler Perry's Acrimony

[@ativaadzem566]

In the meantime, you could watch Kennie JD video on the topic. She has an interesting take on it

[@jalisak1096]

This was pure gold!

[@anthonynorman7545]

Thanks for actually making it! When you mentioned it before you seemed on the fence!

[@sandygreen2707]

12:41 not Christian Bale pic for Tom Brady 💀💀💀

[@lemontales5859]

I know the black out with white text is for copyright issues, but whenever I see "Just Monica" it totally changes the vibe lol.

[@mrmde1989]

I love this movie. Ihave watched it a million times and feel like I still have some things to think about after this vid. Please do an analysis on Player's Club.

[@MCrow-kn2wl]

A "Just Monica" lower third, love it!

[@ArtemisUnderscoreJ]

Only after failing miserably did Quincy chose Monica. I’ll have to catch the playback to see what I got wrong.

[@kmc1994]

Right.

[@kionnakelly2918]

Exactly

[@thepurplequeen256]

Thank you 🤣

[@FSamuels20]

Did we forget that Monica asked for the 1 on 1 game ?

[@damionsly4124]

The running Smang it joke/gif is possibly the best thing on KZbin.

[@cynthiahoward2285]

Loved your take on this movie! It made me think. Great job as always ❤️

[@JessieBanana]

Her begging him to stay seems realistic and isn't necessarily problematic to me, just sad. I may or may not be able to relate to such a low. I definitely agree with what is sketch as hell is her not being happy playing basketball on an International level. I can understand not having your dreams within your community being a disappointment, since we largely treat women's sports like trash in the USA, but the benefits of traveling, living abroad, and generally being respected for your ability and hard work seem like that would more than make up for it. To me, it buys into the fear mongering that if you follow your dreams and become successful woman, you'll be a barren childless sad cat lady...as if we aren't all learning pets are better companions than most people anyway. Perhaps that dissatisfaction is realistic, but I would say it's born more from societal expectations than anything happening internally with Monica.

[@smarti1144]

All of this

[@robertm5855]

Or maybe she loved him so much that she couldn’t find joy in basketball anymore if he wasn’t part of her life. Every time she stepped on the court reminded her of her times with him and the pain of not having him with her. At that point basketball becomes emotional torture.

[@lowlowseesee]

yeah ive seen men and women both beg for someone to stay. ive seen people who want to beg and dont, love is mad

[@LM-he7eb]

@@robertm5855 No

[@LM-he7eb]

The sad part is that the "crazy cat lady" idea starts very early. My 19 year old cousin already has that fear. She isn't afraid of missing out on travelling, studying, using her talents to the fullest. She fears never being a mom.

[@breeeeeee]

I was on autopilot scrolling til your video came on, well done.

[@KyeeAltranice]

Hands down. You are one of my favorite KZbinrs. Great video

[@PrincessSaskia84]

Hello- UK fan subscriber!! I am so glad that I found your content that represent black masculinity and its conflict with white patriarchy. Keep up the good work!! 🇬🇧 🇬🇧

[@EayuProuxm]

7:41 And then Tyler Perry came in and basically ruined black movies for 4 or 5 years So controversial, so brave, but so true. Fiq delivering truth to the masses

[@egyptsartnsoul]

Quincy was only living out his toxic behaviors he knew since childhood … nobody is perfect.. he had to grow into a man but once you come across that one person you just can’t deny that feeling with… it’s hard to see or be with anyone else.. this movie is an example of really true love and how it’s destroyed if we don’t do the healing! because let’s be honest black families don’t love properly! that’s the only reason her and his relationship was so hectic… without all their traumas it was just them and unconditional TRUE love

[@GenerationNextNextNext]

I have to agree that "high value men" don't even end up with those "good girl" or "wifey" types in the end. Those women get cheated on most of the time. People stay with whoever makes them feel attractive, safe, comfortable, at ease, and supported. That's human nature the world over. When it comes to women going after "capital", I would say women's main priority is the family. When women date, they don't just think of a romantic partner who can satisfy them in the bedroom, but who can provide for children. Because when women get satisfied in the bedroom, there's always a chance a child will be made and born. She's thinking of feeding, clothing, shelter for her children, as well as a cushion and medical care for when she is pregnant and not able to work and fend for herself. And in the USA, them hospital bills are horrible. She's thinking of the sacrifices she has to make when potentially marrying someone or even sleeping with someone. Many of these women feel that even if a man isn't nice to her at least her children will be fed and clothed if the man has "capital". This is why so many Black women continue to subscribe to the patriarchy, which ends up being their downfall mentally and emotionally. Where many white women often save or put aside money for when they have to take a break during their pregnancies, as well as have family members who are around to help financially and in other ways, many Black women don't have that luxury. This sense of desperation drives Black women to become focused on men's pockets more than their character.

[@selwatchesyt]

I always thought Monica was trying to show Quincy that he did actually love basketball and have passion for it. Since just earlier he questioned if he only played basketball for his dad’s approval. Ya know on top of showing she’s willing to fight for him.

[@denzelfato7977]

Riveting stuff, especially the nuance and perspective that you provide to Quincy's character. Although some of the complexity might have been injected. It really shows the curiosity that drives your content. Great stuff, its really helping me be less cynical and open to surprises.

[@emiadachi8511]

I love this movie so much 💚 I'm so glad you made this break down

[@kblixt]

Thank you for all the great work you do!!

[@dominiquethomas9603]

That was soooo dope! Thank you for this. You made my work day much more tolerable.

[@Shay45]

Love & Basketball has NEVER been goals to me. I remember in high school girls romanticizing their relationship

[@bonniem5963]

You sir, never miss. I'm really enjoying the content

[@spazarellapoet8735]

U really break it down in a refreshing intellectual way..very much appreciate your work.

[@Bantoshima]

Love & Basketball was so complicated. But growing up and sitting with the movie I realized it showed how the Ideal Black Middle Class Family did not work. In the movie, they are both living the "American Dream" but become unhappy because they are brutally dashed against it. Especially when this movie came out in 2000 during the height of Aaliyah, and she wasn't the most feminine of artist but highly coveted.

[@SkoolieBoyQue]

@F. D Signifier... you get on my nerves! 😅😅😅 You have some good points, my good sir, but I'm still vexed. I do feel like Monica should have just moved around after her and Quincy broke up. We can't sit here and act like she didn't still feen for this dude over the years after. Maybe society or her own rearing as a child is to blame for her holding out so long for Quincy. The Tomboy trope IS a fucking joke and that is why no one takes lesbians and masculine identifying women seriously. I really hate the narrative that deep down, we all just want or need some dick. When the truth is that EVERYONE is on a spectrum. Masculine, manly men like dick too and they hide in plain sight because they know how perform masculinity to a T. I appreciate your unique perspective on this movie. It makes me almost want to watch it again. Lol. But I think your takes were good enough. I believe Quincy is just like any other guy performing masculinity because it's what HE THINKS HE'S SUPPOSE TO DO. During your video, I questioned more about what are our parents are instilling in us and are they really taking the job of parent seriously? Are they allowing as to grow in our own ways or do they just want us to be puppets and robots? I really feel like we haven't and aren't taking child rearing seriously. Well... "traditional" families aren't, in my opinion. As in straight people. Gay people tend to plan families more, for obvious reasons. 💁🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️😅 My point is we just need to do better with what we teach these kids as "acceptable" in society's eyes and what is actually beneficial to society, and that's raising decent human beings... I'm done. Sorry for the book. ✌🏾😅

[@FDSignifire]

I never thought about the fact that "family planning" is legit a plan for gay people. That really can change the dynamics of that

[@SkoolieBoyQue]

@@FDSignifire Pretty much! But I'm not saying gay people can't fuck up at raising kids. The jury is still out! 😅😅😅 I appreciate your reply, Big Bro. 🤗 Keep spitin' that hot fire. 😅👌🏾🔥🔥🔥

[@krsouff]

Yes to all of this. You expressed some of the things that were on my mind better than I could think of.

[@happygucci5094]

💯

[@SkoolieBoyQue]

@@happygucci5094 😏👌🏾

[@jaydenfleming9227]

This was masterful.. great breakdown

[@melissap3539]

I'm so glad I found your content. Please keep doing what you do. Blessings.