Love & Dating Advice with Jonathan Van Ness

[@jvn]

Yes Love School! Did I miss any questions? Leave them in the comments below 👇 I’ll use them for another session of Love School!

[@JENNIFERBOO]

My question- is how to make friends in adulthood period. I have friends come and go a lot in my life…my best friends are tied between my spouse and my cat Clark Kent aka Purrvert because he can get really cuddly and in your face with nudges and purrs 🥰

[@craftjared]

@@JENNIFERBOO I think he answers this in his Life School video

[@mistyguye6812]

What’s the number one thing to look for if someone is trying to hide me or maybe not hiding me altogether but selectively hiding me?

[@msblackmk]

Have you ever had a partner who experienced sexual trauma (physical or emotional or all of the above)? If so, how did it affect your relationship, and what coping skills did you employ?

[@sallyh29]

Hi Jonathan! This video made me LOL so much! My question is how do you get over people who constantly play mind tricks (lovebombing, breadcrumbing, ghosting etc.) on you?

[@emcarveth]

I'm a therapist and I LOVE your responses, especially the validation of that beautiful soul who hasn't dated yet at 27. Thank you for being the sweet, lovely, compassionate human you are! ❤️

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️ thank you for the work you’re doing

[@alisonsmith3054]

Do you like being a therapist?? I’ve been thinking about switching career fields but I’m scared to take the leap!

[@emmatheoblivious]

as a 24 year old who hasn’t dated or been in a relationship, it feels so good to know that there are others my age or older who are in the same boat! :)

[@jvn]

Everyone is on their own path, let me tell you that… watch my video about surviving my 20s!

[@spacechannelg6843]

idk girl im 31 and never had a bf and it makes me sad lol i really want one but havent found anyone even tho i try. but what can u do

[@NaliaDanger]

I was in my mid 30s and had never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a few months. Now I'm 41 and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and we've started talking about moving in together. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person, but eventually things fall into place.

[@snides712]

I'm also 24 and haven't dated so I loved seeing that question. Tbh sometimes it makes me sad but mostly I'm in a sort of "if it happens, then cool but if not, still cool" mindset. Live your life, have your adventures, chase your dreams, and you'll find your person when the time is right (if that's what you want)💙

[@stephaniec.4384]

Girl I dated for the first time when I was 29. Met my boyfriend then and we’ve been together for 2 years now. We’re engaged. Don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you. Enjoy your life.

[@theresasestina601]

Jonathan, I laughed. 🤣I cried. 😭I questioned my vulnerability 🤔 you nailed every question, Queen! Thank you for saving me $100 for a half hour of therapy. You nailed it in 11 minutes😘

[@jvn]

I’ll be sending you your bill for this 👀 😂

[@elizawright6323]

Self love is not just working on your flaws and shortcomings, but it is also learning to accept those flaws and love them just as much as your strengths

[@jvn]

Yes!!! This!!

[@ode4126]

Okay as a lesbian, to that girl asking how to get over a crush with your straight friend: I FEEL YOU, I think it happens so often because straight women are so comfortable being emotionally and physically close with other women and it becomes hard to differentiate between platonic and romantic love... In my experience I would analyze it, like: are you actually into them or do you just love the idealized idea of who you could be as a couple? Do you actually love them or are you just craving connection and your brain got confused between friendship and romance? Also maybe go talk to queer women on a dating app to remind yourself they exist and will give you way more satisfaction than hopeless crushes on straight girls (Also personally I would steer clear of all "lesbian-in-love-with-bestie" art and content for a while cause they only feed your predicament and kinda romanticize the suffering)

[@hanaeyoshida5163]

oooooooooh thank you

[@EnglishAbsorbed]

I get a rush of oxytocin when I see a new video from JVN

[@jvn]

👀

[@merkinidgit]

I agree. And in JVN’s followers (eww. Sounds cultish…) there are so many reminders that there are far more compassionate helpers in this world than abusive takers. It’s nice to find platforms to celebrate one another as we create the change we want to see in the world.

[@mistyguye6812]

I dated the greatest guy I’ve known for six years, but I, finally, decided to admit I was a lesbian. So, now, I’m in a whole new world. I’m in a world that seems so much harder than the straight world. I laugh because my boyfriend used to say how confusing women are. He was SOOO right! 🤣

[@jvn]

Love it!

[@mar1na1993]

That last advice is so important for me to hear from you. I am feeling embarrassed and ashamed for speaking my truth and realizing that the other person didn’t feel the same way or was unable to access the feelings in the same way. But I know it is not shameful to love and care for someone, even if they can’t love you back. Yes, it means I need to take time for myself and work on loving myself again instead of focusing on someone else, but it is not shameful! It is beautiful to spread love in this world when it is so hard for people to feel connected and seen. But it’s hard to accept this about myself.

[@jvn]

No shame should be felt at all! You led with love!

[@erinmullen2397]

"Make like Taylor Swift and be fearless." This is my new motto. Loved the video, can't wait to see more from this series. I'm in a new relationship so this is so helpful!

[@kelleyburke]

To that lovely question about still being single at 27: I'm in the exact same boat. I'm 27 too, and I've never even been kissed, I was never asked to school dances, and as far as I know, I've never even been crushed on. Usually I'm happy to be single, but sometimes I do feel very lonely. Just know that it's not a reflection on you or your worth, and that you are so beautiful and wonderful and loveable, and the right person just hasn't come along yet. (I know, I'm tired of hearing that too, but I really also believe it.) This was a great video, JVN!! P.S. I hope you had the most amazing birthday!!! xoxoxox

[@jvn]

Yes to this comment! Not a reflection of you or your worth! You are worthy because you are a human being who is the only you with your unique and special talents existing on this planet.

[@spinwitch2343]

i think there are three big reasons why women our age are struggling to find romance: 1) dating apps like tinder are designed for cruising, not serious relationships. even finding love on instagram is based on image, so if you're not someone who posts your face regularly you won't find love on there; 2) a lot of men are simply bad boyfriend material and women aren't legally or financially beholden to them, unlike previous generations of women. 3) work eats up so much of our time that it's hard to go out and participate in communities to meet new people. we're living through a time of hyper-individualism and social isolation, so that makes it really hard to form meaningful social bonds. that being said, i met my lovely wife through playing an MMORPG lol. It gave us a common interest, a community, and it was easy to participate in since it's online. it's not unusual to find love playing those games, esp if you're wanting to meet new people

[@ralphiesmommy]

I for sure did it wrong when i let someone move in too fast but was 20 instead of 19. Was a long term abusive relationship but definitely listening to your instincts and learning from past experiences can help. I adore you to bits, JVN, and when you asked in “Over the Top” if we would still love you 💗I can say i only loved you more after reading it! 🥰

[@jvn]

But we learn from every mistake and then we become better! 🙏

[@ralphiesmommy]

@@jvn sooo true! ♥️

[@DocNando]

Here celebrating your 'open shoulder'. Thanks for always providing a few good laughs, and some sensible logic. Hug.

[@IamSquirrel]

I LOVE the last episode of Queer Eye in Japan. THE TEARS were streaming down my face because that was incredibly touching and the motivational advice each of the Fab 5 gave. The advice is priceless. That season hit home for me. When I was in high school I became best friends with an exchange student from Japan. Her name is Akiko. She is a brilliant artist. We planned for me to go live with her in Tokyo for 1 year but it was demolished due to her family arranging her marriage. She wasn’t into it. My rose colored glasses forever broken. The reality that people may live with in Japan can be harsh. Thank you a million times over for that season. Plus I store my tomatoes properly now thanks to Anthony. Forever a fan (and my cat children too). 🤟❤️🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@PenelopeSnowe]

This advice is spot on! Don’t move in with anyone at 19!

[@teelakovacs208]

Yes, aww it feels so right but gift yourself freedom to do the things you love to do. I lived it, 19 whirlwind with a 23 yr old what could go wrong? So of course it was a musician, we loved music but I couldn't even get in to many of the clubs still being under. Fell into someone else's world little too much little too quickly. The move just underscored everything. So hard but the more you go out doing other things you may save yourself some heartache. Why settle at 19, the world is yours ❤

[@Sweetzerlandia]

I wish these were 30 mins long. They really are so much fun. As a compromise I'd settle for bloopers so you didn't have to do too much more work ♥

[@shellyenglish]

You are such a sweet brother/BFF that we all need in our lives. Also, your scrunchie is everything. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋

[@jvn]

Love a scrunchie!

[@shellyenglish]

@@jvn You are a national treasure and should be protected at ALL costs. Hehe ❤️❤️❤️ Scrunchies 4evr!

[@jenleigh342]

Honey that SWEATER IS EVERYTHING...the COMBO of the I Dream of Jeannie hair is DELICIOUS. The best way to meet a QUALITY GUY is to VOLUNTEER.

[@jvn]

Oooooooh 👀

[@yellowskittle73]

JVN seems like the coworker that chimes in when I talk about relationship problems and then I'm immediately like "omg what a guru I will listen and take notes" 🤣

[@bell9930]

I love starting my morning with JVN! It’s healthy for me 💕

[@jvn]

I’m like a wheat grass shot!

[@bell9930]

You sure are! And happy birthday to you btw we have the same gorgeous birthday! 💕

[@Yavannasavitri]

Best place to find love is at places you love! Into reading? Go to book clubs! Into gaming? Scour your raid party! Into soccer? Join a local team! You're much more likely to find someone like-minded who will enjoy the same hobbies and passions you enjoy. Moreover: you are the most attractive you when you are having fun and being passionate about something! :)

[@jvn]

Love it!

[@cheyenned7103]

Please make more of these, life school & am I the asshole! Your videos always make me smile. Right now I’m on my lunch break, having the worst day in Quincy,IL, and I’m in my car watching your old videos and just vibing 😂

[@PenelopeSnowe]

YES NEW RULES! That was so my mantra when I went through my last breakup! Works like a charm. Came out at the perfect time, honestly. Thank you, Dula Peep!

[@jvn]

Dula Peep 😂

[@aaliyahleveau7205]

Hi!! 27 y.o. who hasn't dated (in the questions), Honey, I have a bff who is 31 and a virgin and I think that is so beautiful!!!! Why compromise for happiness, being alone doesn't equal loneliness. "We compare and we get all sad bc we're comparing, that's the tea tho" -JVN

[@jvn]

Yes!!

[@stephaniebrock4976]

Love your honesty - you just say the things as they should be - no sugar coating 😊 especially the part around self love is so important ♥️

[@jvn]

Sometimes we just have to! 😆

[@aartim6902]

Loved this episode! Thanks for sharing all the sage advice :) Your peach dream story killed me 😅

[@jvn]

😭😂😂

[@lailarocha]

Thank you for existing!!

[@TheWorldHasGoneCrazy]

I started dating my husband at 14, I just turned 40 and we are still going strong. 💖 Sometimes it is your person! 🥰 Love your videos and vibe so much!

[@mikeglendinningandtheguita7282]

My kid came out. You are an awesome role-model to my child. Thank you.

[@jvn]

Love these comments so much. Thank you. ❤️

[@taras6578]

Loved your answer to question 9. Me and my husband have been together for 15 years, married for 13, thanks for the tip on long term love.

[@jvn]

!!!! I got you!!

[@nic0leslaw44]

My partner and I got together at 19....and we are still together! I know it's rare, we got very lucky. Been 20 years now!

[@jvn]

I love this story! See, this is why I say don’t take all of my advice!

[@keerthimadhavan1815]

Heyy JVN !! You're literally one of the best human being on this planet!! Your body positivity gives me ssooo much confidence and lovee. Over the top is just soo youu!! Love you always queen keep slayingg!!❤️

[@jvn]

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@jenny2282]

We need more JVN's in the world! I love how he is himself and dresses so fun! 😍

[@bethany19XX]

I just adore you so much. You're energy is so amazing and I can't tell you enough what a light you are in my life. I watch queer eye when I feel anxious or sad and you guys lift my spirits so much. I wish we were friends! Love you so much 😘💕

[@jvn]

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️ comments like these mean so much to me.

[@bethany19XX]

@@jvn ♥️♥️♥️

[@bethany19XX]

I should say, I watch the show regardless of my mood. I re watch when I need a little boost in life. 😊😘

[@oneluvlynyer]

We need MORE of these!

[@inavanderleden9517]

Do you have tips to be confident without showing too much off? I’m not the most confident person and i love how hilarious and confident and loving you are❤️❤️❤️❤️ sending love from the Netherlands!!!

[@jvn]

Love every part about yourself and lean into that! Work on self! Confidence without ego will come as a result of loving every part of you.

[@inavanderleden9517]

@@jvn thank you so much for answering mine question🥺❤️ you literally made my day!!!

[@ode4126]

This segment is awesome!💕For a question, do you think you need to have a stable mental health before you seek out a relationship? Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough energy to put into a relationship, but then again if I just wait to be completely "better" I'm going to stay single my whole life

[@jvn]

I think when the timing is right you will know, but always prioritize yourself first!

[@alexakearney]

Good morning. Perfect way to start my day ❤️

[@jvn]

Yes!!

[@grumpeechat]

Thank you Johnathan for all of your videos. You are the ray of sun that brightens every day. Much love from Canada ❤

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️

[@angelinaduncan7794]

We NEED a pt 2!!!!❤❤❤

[@jvn]

I think we do, too. This was fun!

[@cs3105]

Part two please, you are a fountain JVN x

[@giantschick21]

Move in with your SO. You learn so much about them, yourself, and your relationship. ❤️

[@jvn]

❤️

[@yianko2090]

After this video I feel like I should go to rehab to get life lesseons. Sth I wanna share abt moving in with your partner: A few years ago, my flatmate and I wanted to move place and she told her grandma bc she thinks maybe one of her grandma’s flats would be empty for us, her grandma asked her “Are you moving in with Xyz(her ex’s name)?” Although til that point they have been on and off for around 6-7 years, my flatmate was like”🙄 no way” her grandma was so relieved and say “Good to know you’re not that stupid” When this happened my flatmate was only 22, so 1. my flatmate is very mature about it and 2. I totally agree to not move in with your partner when you are THAT young, moving and searching for a new flat after a breakup is fucking stressful. (Speaking from experience sis)

[@jasondominicpereira1545]

JVN !! I can’t stress enough how much I’m obsessed with you 😭. I can’t stop laughing, the advice you gave omg hilarious 😂😂😂 love you xoxo 😚

[@jvn]

Well I hope you picked up a few good nuggets to take into life!

[@Kmichelangelo]

Been with my SO since I was 17!

[@jvn]

Yes!!!

[@jvn]

Take my advice with a grain of salt!

[@elledub6801]

I freakin love you and you bring so much joy into my day.

[@jvn]

Aweeeeeee and you bring joy in my day ❤️

[@bernicevanwinkle1769]

I cant wait to get your new book in the mail!!!!!!!! I bought an EXTRA copy for my son's girlfriend, because she is AMAZING!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!

[@jvn]

I can’t wait for you to read!!! And for your sons girlfriend!!

[@bernicevanwinkle1769]

@@jvn Awwwww.... Thank you, Love!!!!!!!! We're both super excited!!!!!!!!!!

[@chooseyourthoughts7692]

Why do I get so excited when I see a video from you?! Love!!🥰

[@jvn]

I don’t know… why?!

[@craftjared]

So glad I waited til the end of this video. The ending so good 😂

[@jvn]

Don’t you leave too soon 👀

[@marisreyes5353]

That "You do you" is from the second episode about hair!

[@Sutoroberirokku2000]

Happy Birthday Yesterday!!! 🥳💞🎉

[@jvn]

Thank you, Jann!!

[@Authorthings]

Husband and I got together at 19 lol. But we didn't get married until we were 26. We never lived together either. I think had we done it sooner, things would have been harder. You're still figuring yourself out at 19-25. Sometimes through your 30s too. So many people told me we'd never get married, but here we are 4 years later this month.

[@mariaturner371]

We soooo need a live stream Q&A from you. Great advice.

[@jvn]

There may be a live stream coming……. Hint hint

[@Kokiri116]

You are a gift from Queen Mother Nature, Jonathan ♥️

[@SiennaNotMiller]

A comma in the number!!! I love you

[@jvn]

I, uh, oop…

[@tammyne]

Good morning 🌞 seeing you first thing in the morning makes my day 🌸🌸

[@jvn]

This is your day!

[@traviswoods1868]

I could watch hours of jvn advice 😊

[@jvn]

Well then I hope you’re subscribed!! More is coming….

[@biankabalint4567]

Needed this today soooo much.

[@dixiehighsmith9743]

I love you! You’re beautiful, funny, honest. I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve done, especially the “Curiosity” series.

[@cs3105]

JVN you speak the truth and you are fearless. Total love to you. Thank you for this

[@katherineraina7344]

I love you so much Jonathan, thank you!!!😻❤️😻

[@jvn]

🥰🥰🥰🥹

[@neverwasforyou]

Celebrating that open shoulder 💙

[@jvn]

You and me both!!

[@neverwasforyou]

@@jvn Eeeeeeeekkk, you just made my entire week! Saw you in MA on 3/18 and am still giggling on the daily and riding the JVN energy wave... appreciate you soo much!

[@myrsi]

Your energy always brightens up my day 😊 sending you love from Greece 💖

[@jvn]

And love right back to you!

[@sheenar4928]

You are such a lovely bright light. I enjoy you so much.

[@lmgutier]

HYSTERICAL!!!

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️

[@lmgutier]

@@jvn 😃😃😘

[@JENNIFERBOO]

Present! 9 hrsss later….good ❤️🍑tips ☺️🥰 thanks JVN …never heard “cruising at the grocery store” before…learning everyday for life!

[@jvn]

You’re tardy!! Need you to stay after class and binge 3 more JVN School videos now… make sure you mark your attendance in each of the comments!

[@vivicaprobably]

Oh man, I married the guy I started dating at 18, and we’re still together 18 years later… but it seems sooooo young in retrospect 😂

[@melissalandreth4274]

This popped up at such a great time in my life 😂

[@jvn]

😂 tell me more

[@kimcolluro9816]

Great advice (especially to the 19 year old) and you looked gorgeous in that color blue!

[@JENNIFERBOO]

PS I’m jealous of your peek a boo shoulder sweater- it looks comfy and soft 😊

[@jvn]

You need one!!

[@GarynPhillips23]

This is my favourite video on the internet! 😂😂😂😂

[@jvn]

Shout it to the rooftops!!

[@hanaeyoshida5163]

Thank you Jonathan for making this because you already KNOW i need some help

[@jvn]

!!!

[@theparisend]

13:16 damn right I'm still here! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@BIANCA123VEL123]

THE PEACH STORY. I’m crying. I had to rewind that part like 7 times! 😂💀

[@artbylain9316]

Johnathan you came at the exact right time

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Karleystevens234]

You are my inspiration ❤ on the worst days!!!!

[@gregorille]

Best 13 min of my life

[@cristinalattuada5322]

Love your open shoulder ☺️

[@jvn]

Me too!

[@maryfitzpatrick3252]

74 year ole straight gal LMAO 🤣 at your description of straight men! 🎯

[@chs3972]

I love your sweater

[@jvn]

🥰

[@msblackmk]

The sweater is life!

[@jvn]

It is!!

[@armajitpocahontas8207]

Jonathan you are such a beautiful soul and you’re 5 friends are amazing . Your given me Reason for smile . I love you very much Blessings 🤍

[@RFenaughty]

I loved this too! Such great advice and again you made me smile.

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@SharonGirl317]

I love you, Jonathan! 🤩

[@TB-sh9lf]

I watch these on my lunch break and you make me happy 😃

[@sarahthomson8183]

GREAT advise for the 19 year old. And I love you. 💖

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@biancasantisteban3441]

Beautiful questions answered with beautiful wisdom-filled answers from a beautiful person ❤

[@miac6371]

Loving this series, soo funny. Loving JVN breaking shit down. To the question of revealing feels for the co-worker- as a professional woman in a technical industry, I would recommend NO only because A) I don't want to "f" with my money with petty love dramas and B) because of the unfair standards put on women in the current social climate, females always get some type of weird vibe from the rest of the office if relations are to go down.Just my two cents- I've only hooked up with co-workers after they left the job. And it was great sex, but no relationship every evolved from it. To each their own.

[@Kokiri116]

You are a gift from Queen Mother Nature, Jonathan ♥️ love you

[@jvn]

❤️

[@jamiefordx]

The truthfulness for me

[@sarahs9516]

thanks for being a inspiration to me and thanks for tips on relationship.

[@jvn]

I got you!!

[@tcookie]

OMG, the skid marks are so true!

[@belindajohansen2899]

I am 55 years old And never for one day have I loved myself. Things that happened throughout school have been in my head And do not leave. I just ruined another relationship. How do I figure out how to get out of bed in the morning when I feel I have no purpose in life? The only reason I'm awake now is Because my four cats, two guinea pigs and two tanks of fish need breakfast.

[@darlenerdz1300]

Love your vibe!! Great video!!

[@corinnasanchez5821]

You're fabulous, thank you!!💜💜

[@jvn]

❤️❤️❤️

[@meriena]

OMG, we should clone you so that every country can have you. 😚 I love everything about you, you beautiful hilarious soul. Thanks for sharing your brilliant mind with us so unselfishly. 💕 You are so smart!

[@jvn]

I don’t know if the world can handle more than one of me…..

[@meriena]

Hahaha 😄😚@@jvn

[@ellehough2746]

Okay - I am a fan! Loving that ponytail 💜

[@bernicevanwinkle1769]

So love you!!!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!! Very wise, very very wise, My Love!!!!!!!!

[@jvn]

I don’t teach love school without proper experience!

[@perogieluver]

Omg i love you so much Jonathan

[@vanessadesimone840]

Love this series!!! Hilarious!!!

[@LightworkBeacon]

I couldn't love this video more!❤

[@jvn]

Aweeeeeer