Love & Divorce Experts: This Predicts With 94% Accuracy If Your Relationship Will LAST! | Gottmans

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Become Un-Frikin’ Stoppable and Build Your Confidence RIGHT NOW: bit.ly/3SWzKqL
If you want to have a stronger, healthier relationship with your partner, you’ll want to TAKE NOTES on this episode of Women of Impact. From fighting, to cheating, to sex and SOOOO much more, you’re getting a science-backed MASTERCLASS on strengthening relationships.
Today we are joined by the world’s leading relationship scientists, Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman. Together they have more than 50 years researching couples and relationship health, and they have SOOOO much information to share if you want to build a strong, long-lasting relationship!
In this episode, we’re diving into:
- The signs that all but guarantee your relationship won’t last, AND what you can do before it’s too late
- Why you MUST go deep into the conflict to truly understand why you’re fighting
- The 7 principles that guide you to a long-lasting relationship
- How to fight right and keep it from getting out of control with their “Repair checklist”
- Ways you and your partner can come together and find solutions or compromise
- The 5 steps to ACTUALLY heal an emotional injury in your relationship
- The RIGHT way to take a break during a fight (and it’s NOT a Ross/Rachel break!)
- Their ONE tip to improve your marriage in 10 minutes (and get this - they don’t have the same answer!!)
- And soooo much more!
The Gottmans are dedicated to helping couples repair and strengthen their relationship, and their research has truly been revolutionary and unmatched! From fighting, to cheating, to sex and SOOOO much more, listen close to the best advice out there on how to make your relationship really last!
Chapter Markers:
💔 [00:00] The 4 Horsemen of a Break Up
👎 [19:12] Reasons for Divorce
😍 [40:52] Trust and Stages of Love
🍩 [53:56] Donuts, Dreams & Core Needs
❤️ [1:26:30] 7 Principles of Love
💋 [1:47:04] How Important IS Sex & Intimacy?
👉 [2:03:25] Bonus Episode: Robin McGraw
***Bonus Episode: Secrets to a 50 year marriage with Robin McGraw***
Keep watching for a BONUS conversation with Robin McGraw, …debunk myths around what it takes to be a loving and supportive partner (without losing yourself!), especially when your significant other is larger than life and has a strong personality.
AMAZING QUOTES FROM DR. JOHN GOTTMAN & DR. JULIE GOTTMAN:
"Triggers are crucial, right? All of us have baggage from old relationships or from childhood. So if any feeling got triggered for you, that is an old feeling that started long before this relationship, you share that with your partner, what the feeling was and where it may have gotten started before this current relationship."
"Love mapping means how well do you know your partner's inner world? How well do you know your partner's priorities, their needs, their values, their most embarrassing moment in childhood, how they feel about their parents, how they feel about the child you have, et cetera…"
"Before you [take a break during conflict], after you've said, I need to take a break or whatever, say when you'll come back to continue the conversation. That's really good. And also when you go into separate space, don't think about the fight, don't think about what you were talking about, because you'll stay flooded if you do that. Instead, do something self soothing, like doing some yoga or meditation or going for a run or reading a book or listening to music, something that takes your mind off it so your body has a chance to metabolize those stress hormones out of your system. And then you come back at the designated time and you've had a brain transplant. You're much calmer."
Follow The Gottmans:
Website: www.gottman.com/
For Couples: gottmanconnect.com/
Order Your Copy of “Fight Right”: www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Su...
Follow Robin McGraw:
Website: www.ivegotasecretwithrobinmcg...
KZbin: / @ivegotasecretpodcast
Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
Instagram: / lisabilyeu
Facebook: / lisabilyeu
X: / lisabilyeu
If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: dexa.ai/lisabilyeu
Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement

[@LisaBilyeu]

WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

[@karengodan5205]

The more we learn, the more difficult it is to be with certain childish people.

[@coreyhabbas]

💯

[@vanessap8717]

The smaller the dating pool gets

[@bonezbaaaby]

I realize my Dad does this to me and probably did it to my Mom before their divorce. I realize I should never be with a narcissist man again like my dad.

[@shaunjmorris]

The easier it is to be without them!

[@BlinkinFirefly]

Wow, John is actually one of the few men I've seen who actually know how to lend equal power to his woman. He gets it. What a sweetheart. Other men could seriously learn from him. COUGH like my ex COUGH

[@Gem_ini]

Doesn’t sound like he does much around the house though!

[@Gem_ini]

PS- But yes, he does seem like a wonderful man in all other ways!!

[@hasensaurus]

please notice how she recognizes his interventions and adds. My ex-wife never did that for me. It takes two to tango.

[@nigelharvey640]

Contempt.

[@jenniferdroese8693]

I love how deeply Julie looks into his eyes, so present. Refreshing to see real love. Wonderful role models ❤

[@averagejane09]

Bang on amazing advice. These two are a gift. The hard part is when you are in a relationship with someone where none of this will work because they are not healthy and cannot/will not change. As Julie said, the other person needs to receive the repair when an attempt is made. Otherwise, it is not going to work. Both people need to want a healthy relationship and are willing to do the inner work. Can't just be one person. Thanks for this amazing interview Lisa!

[@Trenchant468]

Yep. I asked my partner to fly to a weekend event with them. He was shocked at the prospect of putting that kind of investment into a relationship. I needed up buying their CD workshop and tried it that way. No use, unsurprisingly. His next shock was when I invited him to leave.

[@deborahrose7047]

1. Critism 2. Contempt. Superiority.

[@sandyhenry3238]

When my Narc husband say You ALWAYS you NEVER blah blah. I say well you just admitted you're wrong because no one ever Always or Nevers. So happy to be getting divorced

[@hasensaurus]

That`s subjective. always and never are forbidden only when they`re negative. If you`re in love and he says I will always love you and never let you go, you don`t complain.

[@godislove4540]

I’m an LMHC. These skills don’t work with people who have personality disorders. That’s why it’s not even recommended that we do couple’s counseling if one of the persons in the relationship has one.

[@sandyhenry3238]

@@godislove4540 When we did do couple counciling, he picked the guy but the guy took myside according to the Narcissist. The guy was really good. retired sadly but, he did tell me to divorce that he will never change. It is hard waisting your life on these ppl. I did for my kids. I lowered my standards thinking I'd have better luck if I didn't date the Alpha. Beta was worse.. the betrays are hard hit and they learn to be the Alpha over you

[@laleebee1597]

Congrats! Being single is awesome!

[@ProgrammingWIthRiley]

@@sandyhenry3238I say that to my wife, but it doesn’t work. lol

[@aatt3209]

To all the parents out there, please learn to be better partners to your chosen mates, for the sake of the children, who live in the same household under your guardianship. It is devastating to witness the failure of a parental relationship, and the children are powerless to change any part of the dynamics of a household falling apart. Please have the courage to divorce if the relationship cannot be salvaged. At least this acknowledges a different starting point for the parents and the children to work on things, hopefully in a hopeful fashion.

[@npkrn6764]

Combined with that, children grow up...and children who were modeled a dysfunctional relationship between their parents will have problems developing their own successful relationships. Selfishness or codependency begets the same unless those kids are very aware and make a conscious effort to know what to look for in partners to not repeat their parent's relationship.

[@elizabethash4720]

Mothers don't cause your daughter to feel guilty for looking for a love that you didn't have. Because you stayed on your own ship and let it sail, that's your doing. Set your daughter free and give her your blessing.

[@rosettemarshall3024]

37:25 Leave A Cheater Gain A Life, is a great book!

[@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh]

Wow!! I added that book Julie mentioned to my Amazon cart. I’m a Christian and I grew up in purity culture and sex was never mentioned in our house. So I’ve finally begun to learn in my early 30s what healthy sexuality looks like and erasing the shame based sex ed looks like. Learning myself and learning how to balance the beauty of sex and how to wait and know it’ll be worth it. I also recommend Dave and Ashley Wilson as well as Francie Winslow.

[@user-gm9kl9do3s]

Men put themselves in situations that might lead to sex and act like they had nothing to do with it when sex occurs

[@samco63]

Well said 👏

[@Rett-qv7ti]

women do that also. As gottmans said, cheating is symptom of a declining (or not strong) relationship, not the cause. -

[@user-ni2sk8qj8l]

True

[@zero1188]

First time i heard healthy relationships advice, thats not about one upping or invalidating the other persons feelings

[@micaeladegalvezreutersward2098]

Did you not hear about the couple at 1:04:52??? If anyone says that it is your job as a "couple" to solve it when your husband rapes you 3 times a week over 17 years while you disacoiate during sex, and does not care to check in with you, it is NOT consenual sex. They are not validating the woman in that marriage enough in that case, and they are more importantly not giving solid advice. Don´t get gaslit by the Gottmans, I will not and niether should you.

[@karasmusic123]

Teal Swan phrases it, "When you do ____, I make it mean _____. Is that true?"

[@jessicaf6358]

Brene Brown liked/s to say "the story I'm telling myself is...(x)." I prefer that phrasing more personally, but you do you; everyone's basically re-explaining the same information.

[@Gem_ini]

This was a fascinating conversation. One of the best I’ve seen. Science behind it is always good as well. 👏

[@ew2645]

Omg!! These two people!! Their work is so incredible and important. Thank you for bringing them on for others who have never read their books.

[@Rett-qv7ti]

Willingness to compromise is important. I love the farm/sailboat story. My ex would not have been willing to do such a mature and caring compromise.

[@purplecow-hj1sr]

Wow I’m learning how to say things to better empower myself to get results without offending my children and how to be more emotionally mature! Excellent thoughts on how to speak with love and kindness . Its a new way to speak . Hearing more demonstrative demands growing up this is empowering and so delightful to hear!! I will be practicing these exact words ! Thank you so much! John and Julie and Lisa !!

[@moralebooster8437]

I loooove the Gottmans! So excited to listen to this one

[@shellpicken5182]

It takes 2 people to make a relationship worse, I've never cheated even though I've been treat with contempt. I rather leave the relationship for me and can't replace people nor would I want to

[@KoreaMojo]

Agreed!

[@purely7762]

It takes 1 person to make a relationship worst. 2 to make it work

[@elis.regina7955]

These were the best guests ever

[@melissasmess2773]

Glad I’m single 😆

[@sundipowellrn8258]

exactly

[@mayaries3524]

Yup.

[@gerardlouis4316]

Sadly so. And it's a guy talking. Too much bulshit. Let the good old days come back. Generations were built on these mores and everyone came out healthy, relationships survived.

[@MTGoddard]

Best thing ever! Alone not lonely. Happy ever since🤣👍🥰🫶🏻

[@jopainting1668]

If that were true things wouldn't have changed. Women used tobhave next to zero rights, treated as property and rarely taken seriously or truly respected. We are still having to fight for our own basic right and autonomy.

[@tracychiu9337]

Best podcast! Thanks Lisa.. I am not married but picked up many nuggets nagivating relationships and friendships. Thank you

[@SweetPanamenita]

OMG, I can see the love between the two of them, warms up my heart, I’m learning so much that I know I’ll do Good on my future marriage…. Thank you

[@payla8308]

Cheating is not the only form of betrayal..

[@juliettailor1616]

Absolutely! Lying about you in order to cover their own failures, lying to you, stealing from you, not having your back etc.

[@miownleyhope2473]

PORN

[@michellekalski8823]

Great interview. These two really know their stuff. Also refreshing to see their body language and rapport with each other. It's great to keep counsel from such a knowledgeable and mature couple who are also top researchers.

[@elena-251]

the best listening moment I had . Thank you Dr John and Julie Gottman.

[@irenegryziec8052]

great and helpful conversation!

[@Iamam313]

Most people shouldn't have kids or raise kids...the world as we live in it is a living testament to that.

[@KJ-lb4tj]

Maybe, but it's not a very hopeful way forward.

[@blueberries1221]

I loved both interviews, Lisa! Thank you ❤ Valuable advice and perspectives on relationships and love.

[@cathyjennings5580]

Interesting information 😊 Thanks so much !

[@CityCinderella]

The missing component in a relationship of turning towards. Mind blown.

[@tishataray]

Great Interview

[@chanda3x]

Omg, I was so excited to see you had the Gottmans on. I've read some of their books and have heard them referenced numerous times but have never heard them speak.

[@guroberger4101]

Thank you for sharing. So important to learn how to communicate.

[@rowillo]

Lisa, I so enjoy listening to you. You ask the BEST questions to your guests! I love your channel, ❤

[@rcz2023]

Thank you!

[@marleyofficialmedia]

What a lovely conversation. I have a lot of respect for the 3 of you. Thank you. ❤

[@drugschnorr]

Clear Consistency from the gottmans. Thanks

[@user-id3sg5ek6s]

Excellent subject. Thank you, Lisa. P.S. I couldn't help but wonder what you were wearing because I could only see your shirt and boots

[@urgentcaredr]

Wow perfect timing! Really looking forward to this video with Gottman 🎉

[@ltp27345]

I love their work so much. I wonder are there underlying causes to any of these behaviors that can be worked on .. or is just changing the behaviors alone enough to cause a lasting impact (and prevent divorce)? I really appreciate this one. I think I turn away a lot from friends and family and I don’t realize I do it so much!!

[@charrepz]

I love these two. They are Angels 😇 👼 20min in is a key to all life and relationships. Staying Curious aka “Fascination” about what’s going on with your partner inside and out. Reminds me of this: You can connect from all kinds of places…energetic harmony, sexual alchemy, intellectual alignment…but they won't sustain you over a lifetime. You need a thread that goes deeper, that moves beyond the sands of compatibility. That thread is fascination! A genuine fascination with someone's inner world, the way they organize reality, with the way they hearticulate their feelings, with the unfathomable and bottomless depth of their being. To hear their soul cry out to you again and again, and to never lose interest in what it is trying to convey. If there is that, then there will be love when the body sickens, when the sexuality fades, when the perfection of projection is long shattered. If there is that you will swim in loves waters until the very last breath." ~Jeff Brown Love it Forward

[@cc1k435]

That's contempt, all right. 😕 I'm so glad their work has finally come to my attention. Wish I'd seen it years ago. ❤

[@santisanti8386]

The Gottmans are the best. ❤

[@user-qq5el7zm7f]

I have learned if you call them out immediately it does help you

[@jenniferdroese8693]

I love the Gottmans. Beautiful couple and brilliant

[@kymarnol4667]

The N.ex I trusted for 12 years was unfaithful right from our initial dating times. I realised he needed the thrill of the chase and the conquest. I also found his bi-sexual dating sites after I changed the locks on my house and kicked him out. I had no idea! Complex PTSD is my travelling partner now.

[@samco63]

I’m sorry you went through this! I suspect mine has been cheating since the beginning too. Just weird things and disappearances that weren’t adding up but he always managed to talk his way out of it or make me feel crazy. Then recently he treated me with such contempt with silent treatment and constant criticisms for 4 weeks. It was so weird. I had to leave as I was sure he must have someone else to treat me so bad. Unfortunately I went back and it just got worse… Anyway, I also suspect mine is bi or gay. I’m not sure why, but something just gives me that inkling

[@cc1k435]

There is definitely something to all of what you're saying. Especially in the case of narcissists, I wonder if their sexual preferences don't have as much to do with getting supply as they do with actual attraction. It's not like other people mean that much to them anyway, so what do they care about who's providing sex? Just a thought I ran across somewhere a while back, and it sure rang true to me about my narc. 🤷‍♂️

[@caelreed3067]

The former partner was being annoying by constantly correcting my grammar as a way to control me. Crazy

[@Hebrews111]

Hmmm.... Makes me think of when someone i know said "just be quiet and do what you're told!" with disgust and superiority towards his wife. 🤨

[@sundipowellrn8258]

Friends!!! This is NOT relatavke nor usable in a relationship where one or both has persistent patterns of contempt and disloyalty or entitlement

[@user-nm6bs9ru6x]

Great advice, however I have always felt uncomfortable using the words ,this makes me feel , because there are so many people who don't give a dam how we feel.

[@Bunny11344]

I tried it being really vulnerable. It’s hard but it works. If you truly tell someone you feel sad because of so and so.. but it depends on the person ofc

[@agaobi573]

Yes, the sad truth is, that most of the people will turn your phrase against you. "If you feel unconfortable with sth, that's something wrong with you" The positive side is, that you can see immidiately, with whom you're dealing.

[@HH-kg4fq]

ASK YOURSELVES HOW MANY OF YOUR PARENTS TREATED YOU OR YOUR PARENTS LIKE THAT. Ask yourself why you suffer from an immune disorder. Contempt is a slow m......urder. Contempt is criminal.

[@angelah9413]

Evolve together, or devolve separately.

[@suhazareer1950]

You could evolve separately too.

[@apsaravidhya8869]

Wow ❤ My favourite couple 😊😊😊

[@user-qq5el7zm7f]

Strange how they can be sooooo nice and wonderful in the beginning then do this! Then a strong person will say later!

[@Iris-vo5gd]

You're this!! No, you're that, no you're this blah blah blah ...SEX! ....ok. relationship resolved 😂

[@4AmazingMusic]

It's not that he empties dishes, but that he thinks how to show up for the relationship.

[@justsojourning]

Criticism is horrible and it’s definitely something we learn from our early caregivers. My dad was extremely critical of my siblings and I. I was very critical of my ex spouse and the four horsemen of the apocalypse were present in that situation so it’s no wonder we divorced. Hindsight is a painful gift and I have done a lot of healing work after my divorce so that I can be a better person and that if I’m blessed to marry again that my marriage will last until death parts us.

[@Nikki.....]

What about people with ADHD when it comes to bid for connection? It takes so long and it's also somewhat random to actually get to be focused and that's why we try to hold on to it like dear life when it happens and a simple "look at the birds" can literally destroy the house of cards in our brains which can be very frustrating

[@korenbrigham]

I know that feeling first hand. What works for me is a warm and friendly "Hey, hon: I'm gonna be hyper-focussing for the next 52 minutes so I'll have my earbuds in. I'll check in with you in 52." Then, do check in, peck on the cheek or pat on the shoulder. Maybe even invite them to take a 17-minute brain break together; or alternate together breaks with solo breaks. I hope that helps. I'm a behavior analyst but I work with more kids than adults 🙂

[@dhruti30184]

Love this episode ❤..... I wish Tom also jpined you three.. so you could converse as couples.

[@clintpot8521]

Good lord Lisa is looking fantastic! Well done Tom!

[@mitchschneider1927]

I scored a zero in feelings on my Myers-Briggs personality test; I'm immune to what others think. 😜

[@jinaalqudah989]

Hey Lisa! I LOVE your videos. I would love seeing you bring on a muslim guest speaker one day. I feel like us muslim women are very underrepresented. It would be so cool to be able to relate to a muslim speaker on your podcast.

[@dr.florence]

100%!!! I've been saying this for aaaaages on all sorts of podcasts (eg diary of a ceo and Matt Hussey). I'd like to hear a Muslim/literally ANY other than white/Western/secular perspective!

[@TheBlessedTrueGuidance]

I'VE been thinking the same, wow! In shaa'Allah.

[@marisab8037]

She's interviewed Najwa Zebian multiple times.

[@jenster29]

​@@dr.florenceyou obviously dont watch her that much Plus you're living in the west 😂

[@rubyredd2171]

I think these qualities should be taught before marriage, lol. I also think some of these qualities can help with parenting. These lessons can teach any human being learning to be positive and in tune. So whether you are married or not, use the info to improve yourself ❤. Peace and blessings

[@Ana-do8yq]

Lisa’s faces are a special kind of art

[@barba9791]

Agree, but write it down sign any mutual agreement, and adjust as necessary

[@Sweetieee]

What if your family treats you like this on a daily basis lol guess your health is screwed 😅

[@cc1k435]

Possibly so. It really does add up over time. There is finally starting to be research on autoimmune disease and abusive situations. It'll blow up your thyroid or other organs, and maybe even give you cancer. People aren't meant to be miserable like that all the time. 😢

[@xavierharris4036]

39:07 just for anyone that needs it

[@chelseaaa7360]

Lisa I love your listening head Bob😂 you look beautiful in this interview!

[@dianakelly3151]

Lisa could u please put on the screen every 10min or so the name of your guest and a most recent book that he/she has written. Thanks a million 😀.

[@tishataray]

Love the Gottmans and their reality based research .. as opposed to just adding things that do not work

[@Because_Reasons]

Good advise, love these two. However, what if the question is a mess every single day, lol... What if you ask constantly.

[@kattodoggo3868]

I have mixed feelings about the message,. Its basically teaching women how to tiptoe around mens ego trying no to hurt them without any negative feedback. "The house is dirty because your lazy ass didnt clean it. Do it now or go back to your place. " How the women is talking is how i would talk to a kid not a grown ass men. These men know the house is mess, they know you dontl like it yet they ignore your feelings and wait for you to clean it.

[@whileblueberrysleeps2993]

I think the opposite. Chastising a man for not doing what you want is treating him like a child. Expressing your feelings and needs is treating him like an adult who has free will.

[@zero1188]

You sound like you dont pay attention. If some doesnt do something. Your first reaction is to call them names? Imagine you make a mistake and your boss say you a lazy piece of crap. Also what you fail to realize in a relationship both people are supposed to feed each others ego. Why not feed it. Make no sense. Sounds like your hatred of men is getting in the way of common sense

[@vanessap8717]

Don’t date men that don’t clean up after themselves.

[@shubhandthewitches]

How big or small is the role of age difference in a relationship? Are there different dynamics depending on which gender is older and which one is younger?

[@englishwithmilene2810]

How about when your man won’t listen to you regardless of how sweet and kind you may sound! He’ll help you as and when he feels like…

[@emilyhurst4829]

Lee, Can I please get a tee shirt that says "blah, blah,blah Boo, Boo, Boo B, B,B" 😂 I love it! You're the Best! I wish I could afford of your Course. I'm in the Red bc of my Narc literally has ruined my life to the point I'm about to file bankruptcy! SMH! And I work in Healthcare! He took advantage of me grieving 3 deaths in my family and I just went into a deep depression. Anyways, You really help me & really appreciate all you do for us Abused! We vacation in Dillsboro alot. Hopefully I can Zoom with you 1 day or you come to Atlanta! You are doing God's work & paying it forward. I think that tee would be cool! Only your fans would know what it means. God Bless You! M

[@akilahsekhemet]

Wow. I wound up with Lupus after a severely toxic relationship.

[@wendyhenry8558]

Chinese medicine recognised the importance of limiting cortisol, adrenaline directly affecting illness and demise.

[@payla8308]

How does this correlate when living with a narcissist?

[@pferdeklauerin]

Not at all. You only can quit and you have to for your own health.

[@coreyhabbas]

Preach! 💯 Escape!

[@janinemelanie8391]

It doesn’t. You truly have to get out. It just won’t ever be healthy

[@dream0froses]

I’m having a hard time believing the woman who was graped her entire marriage actually recovered… there’s just no way. No way. No way that man was so ignorant after 3 divorces about what he was doing….

[@angelina3481]

I love your show but GOSH DARN the number of outside advertisements.

[@hope4463]

What about the man who feels too important to engage in a one minute conversation?

[@ProgrammingWIthRiley]

Don’t marry him

[@Betterboundariesnowteensupport]

Wow you hosted the Gottmans

[@saundra2smart]

I was wondering about an older relationship. I'm past choosing a partner for having children. How do I choose a partner for the rest of my life. I want to be sexually active but nowhere near weekly. But want intimacy, dressing sensuality, wanting attention that way. I just turned 62, I was in two serious relationships, and I don't know how to date. I think I am an alpha female.

[@destinymayotte1950]

i cant with the way lisa listens. she always has crazy eyes and doesnt stop nodding. its not that hard to sit still and reply to show youre engaged, with relaxed eyelids

[@user-yz8ms5uy3c]

Relationship ended 0/4 of these, emotionally avoidant spouse yes.

[@davidperry366]

I would have my ex make notes of what she wanted me to do. It was easy stuff. A note can't nag me.

[@saoirse108]

'Always'and'Never'are. children's words. (Gerda Boyesen, 1989)

[@corinnebraverman4427]

All these go out window of partner is true narcissist personality

[@007nadineL]

*WHY CANT SHE STOP TALKING TOO MUCH AND LET HER HUSBAND SHINE A BIT?* .

[@alexr6114]

I am so glad that I never married. I have all of those failings, although I often keep the thought to myself.

[@hadiza1]

💜

[@yadiraalbornoz3046]

😂😂right

[@canadianhappyinitalytruest6556]

Having grown up in Purity culture I can attest that it is just inhuman madness

[@learnwithmonika4923]

❤

[@AH-xs3hg]

I believe there are some truths to what they're saying but when Ms. Gottman talks about sex as something the woman gives the man, or makes really absolutist rules about the types of questions someone can ask after they've been broken up with, and they ignore the entire question of how good any of this advise is in a relationship where one partner is being forced to continue out of duress, it kind of calls their credibility into question.

[@lizaflores2243]

Wow eye opener. So I can be manipulated coz if I was mansplained i will agree 😅😅😅

[@MelissaThompson432]

This thumbnail is going to attract the sort of people that think that marriages fail because women don't compromise. If you said "people" rather than "women," I could take you seriously.

[@barbaraadams2645]

She speaks so darn slowly!

[@jangerous]

My doc recommended I read his books. I loved the marketing plugs that he edited into the final publishing of his self help books. Seems kinda fucked up given that vulnerable people buy self-help books.... But hey, psychology and capitalism is a thing.