Love Is Blind - Not My Best Moment - Season 6 #94 - Therapist Reacts

[@juliamuffinmonster1838]

I think what Johnny was saying is that a lot of times even good sex ed boils down to “boys use a condom, girls take the pill, no babies will happen” and so he’d never thought about that much beyond that. He wore a condoms, the girl he was with took the pill, no babies happened. But when Amy said she wasn’t on birth control, it threw him for a loop and he realized he needed to know more than pills + condoms = no babies. Also I think tbh through editing and for lack of anything else to latch onto this got turned into something way bigger than what it looked like to me, which was a couple having a conversation about birth control options that was frankly handled very well and maturely and I wish we got to see more often in media. They just had to make it into a storyline the way they’d throw obviously fake tension into like the Brett and Tiffany storyline in a past season because otherwise they were too happy and functional and therefore boring to the audience.

[@AurorasWindow]

Totally agree!

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

Yeah, I was impressed that he was taking some responsibility for preventing unintended pregnancy. I think too many men and teen boys just push for sex at any cost, and assume that the girlfriend will take responsibility for any negative consequences on her own, like becoming a single mom or getting an abortion. And I think you're right that they probably showed this argument, because it was the only one they had to show. There was no other friction the couple had, and they had to show something to make it an interesting storyline.

[@nicoler5511]

Dr. Honda, what Amy was saying regarding anemia was that going on the pill would’ve actually *helped* her health markers yet she was still against hormonal contraception for the understandable reason of not wanting to alter her hormonal milieu. Any kind of blood loss (including regular periods) lowers RBC count, *increasing* susceptibility to anemia whereas hormonal contraception prevents or reduces period blood loss.

[@lanceareadbhar]

Personally, especially in hindsight, I felt that the Laura and Jess conversation felt like two friends talking at a bar talking and laughing after a breakup about what she would do if she were to see her ex again to show her ex what they missed out on. Normally those conversations aren't recorded, but it was still disrespectful to Chelsea even though Jess didn't take any of the actions they talked about. Sarah Ann on the other hand took an action writing to Jeramey saying what she said which was disrespectful to Laura. Oddly enough, Jeramey ran to show it to Laura as a way to show how good of a guy that he is.

[@habeashumor9814]

You're confused because you're not a traditional guy who expects women to take on all the responsibility of birth control. He's saying he never thought much about it and didn't educate himself about it, because no one made him. I hear that he and his partner are now using "natural family planning," in which the woman has to carefully and meticulously track her cycle, and the man has to do - you guessed it - nothing.

[@dahwitzz]

yeh i think when Johnny is talking about "birth control" he's not referring to the broad definition that includes all contraceptives, he is using it as a word for "birth control pill". I know people that do this as well, they think birth control is like the name of the pill itself. So he was ignorant about what the pill actually does to a woman's body. He just knew it prevented pregnancy, but not the way it does that thru affecting hormone levels which can result in a lot of other side effects. He probably thought it was like poppin an advil lmao

[@ashleysmith1369]

I swear, Johnny seems like he was homeschooled or grew up in a super sheltered home.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

YES, got that vibe

[@Mrs_PinkMarie77]

😂😂I love that, im going to use that.... "where you home schooled"?!?!😅

[@ShellyManne1]

At a job they fired this new hire because she just rubbed everyone the wrong way (service industry). I referred to her as either an only child or home schooled to the other staff after they fired her and that’s when two employees (sisters) say, “hey, we were home schooled.” I was embarrassed but thought to myself “well that explains them.”

[@evelyndeisbeck9348]

😂​@@ShellyManne1

[@ShellyManne1]

@Claudiaaaaaaxxx such a callous thing to say on a channel that’s about leading with kindness.

[@ariannepothecary9033]

They are pushing the "natural method" on their SM channels now... Someone needs to tell Johnny thats how my 2 kids were conceived lol

[@pnwlady]

Natural can include a deep knowledge and understanding of your cycle, tracking it. There are physiological symptoms like temperature. Modern medicine is finally looking into it. 😂

[@dl8593]

Oh that’s good to hear! I didn’t know they were! More people need to know this is an option! With education it can be great! I’ve been child free since starting more than 6 years ago. Not for everyone but if it can work for you it’s great!

[@ariannepothecary9033]

@@dl8593 no I mean I was following the natural method and had 2 unplanned pregnancies 😂 but I have never had a "regular" cycle my whole life so it was hard to track everything.

[@Katie-Dee]

10:58 “a brief googling” 😂

[@a-moon]

For Chelsea, I think her making it light is by far the best PR strategy to defuse online hate!

[@jovi00]

I think Jonny just didnt want to use condoms because it would " decrease the sensation". Pretty much just thinking about himself.

[@SuchGoodVibes]

Kinda irrelevant but Kirk NEEDS to do a review of the show Baby Reindeer! It covers in an amazing deep dive many topics he’s an expert in, stalking, male sexual abuse, complex trauma, grooming, all based on the main actor’s true story!

[@RenayOpish]

I just suggested this!! He has an inquiry up about what to watch next- go put in a vote there!!

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

Previous videos: Dr Kirk googling “pick-me girl” VS. me in this video googling “sprung” 16:19 😂

[@ness-lee-crunch]

What's odd is Amy's gynecologist told her birth control would be BENEFICIAL to her. Not the opposite. I looked into it and it is true that birth control can help with anemia. They both seemed a bit stubborn on the topic.

[@jy_hawk]

Johnny just wanted to go in raw lol. He just didn't want to be open about it

[@UrbanCommentBot]

It has to be that. If not that, then maybe condom ED

[@judyjudy158]

Lol! 😂

[@thisismyinferno]

Right! Lol not that deep... No pun intended

[@LindsayMath]

Just wanted to say that when Kirk says Jessica has probably noticed men respond to her looks since she was 18-ish - I have always looked young and grown men started responding to my looks in a sexual age from the age of 12

[@jcwebb264]

It seems like maybe he just didn't understand the side effects/health risks associate with birth control. Like I get migraines, which means I can only take 1 type of birth control, and it gives me PMDD. So a vasectomy is a real consideration in that context. I'm not sure what it means when anemia, but I can't imagine it would do much to expand her options.

[@bennisecreto4933]

3:11 THE EYE ROLL!!! 💯💯💯

[@mcorral21]

I haven’t heard of sponges since Seinfeld. Lol

[@michellesmith7]

I remember watching as a little kid trying to imagine what this sponge looked like and how it worked 😂

[@lenaw414]

My theory is that they were indeed lying about not having sex before marriage (like AD clocked it as well) because they didn’t want that part of their relationship on TV for the sake of her very catholic hispanic family that seemed to be also sort of controlling. The whole birth control thing was just a charade. Although I do also believe he wanted her to go on the pill so he wouldn’t have to use a condom anymore eventually. I think they fought about it at some point and then he gave in when he learned how many side effects it has.

[@bethannboldt281]

I love that you mentioned Phil Donahue😂

[@chibiyvie]

3:30 yeahhhh my bf used to live in NC and he had trouble there bc the area they lived in was super religious and didn't believe in evolution...to me it's not farfetched to believe NC areas don't educate abt sex

[@GenXIcon]

Legislation wise, we do have comprehensive sex education in public schools since 2009. And I have been a part of the classes taught. BUT there's the big huge caveat that all parents have to do is sign the exemption form, so I am in the more rural areas (I live in one of the bigger cities) or within the family culture parents could very easily be avoiding giving any sex ed at all.

[@keirstenduren7188]

“He won’t want to take a 1% risk” wait’ll he learns that birth control isn’t 100% either 😂 my birth control baby is almost 4

[@RenayOpish]

I know SO many birth control fail people. I am one too! It is a grand tradition.

[@shokes7813]

Maybe they are referring to a copper IUD? Those are non-hormonal. I don’t know if they discussed that on the episode because I only skipped ahead to the problematic couples 😅

[@AddlesH]

I never really understood her concerns about anemia and birth control. I have endometriosis and adenomyosis so my periods are very heavy and birth control lightens the flow and is supposed to help with my anemia. But because unfortunately I wasn’t on the pill for so long I’m in catch up mode in terms of getting enough iron. More than likely it would have helped. But of course ultimately it’s her choice! In general seems like they both needed a LOT of education on this

[@TessaMarzulla]

The guys are probably wearing "no show" socks!

[@chakrasplayinghopscotch]

i think the fact that johnny grew up in south carolina explains his lack of knowledge about birth control

[@kacrichton4434]

Right, I think johnny is saying he didn't know the pill was hormones that have an effect on all body systems. He probably thought it was just a lil nothin and didn't understand why a girl wouldn't be on it.

[@dl8593]

So many people don’t know about fertility awareness method. Maybe that’s what she’s doing? But that I’m sure would make Johnny nervous. But really you can only get pregnant about one week out of the month! No one ever teaches us that!

[@nebraska418]

My husband has shocked many a coworker with that information lol 🤦‍♀️

[@nectarinepie952]

I work in public health communication, largely on the topic of sexual and reproductive health. I've also tracked my own cycles when trying to conceive. I would never recommend the fertility awareness method to someone like Johnny who is terrified of unwanted pregnancy. There are too many variables that come into play and cause early or late ovulation/fertilisation of the egg. It can end up being more than 2 weeks/month of potential fertility once you factor in unknowns.

[@HirtopLaura]

Dr. Honda, do you think Chelsie goes into a 'playful' mode or uses a distinguished voice and tone when talking about her 'small insecurities' because she might still think she was not in the wrong during those episodes in their relationship? Like admitting she has insecurities because otherwise she might receive backlash again but downplaying them unintentionally/intentionally because she is not 100% agreeing to them? Giving her interviews and her stand today, do you think it is a possibility, denoting unfortunately that she hasn't gotten the help she actually needed ?

[@SoobySays]

Dusty Thunder, a Reddit-reading KZbinr recently spoke on his vasectomy, failed reversal, and extraction. He was not a fan of the process, lol.

[@stephanieluminous3116]

I thought “the sponge” was just a Seinfeld thing…😅

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

My theory was that Johnny always used condoms in his previous relationships AND the women he was with always used another method too. He didn’t want to risk using only condoms.

[@Carmendot2]

17:06 I wonder if she was attracted to jimmy physically of she would have taken any comments further, but good that it ended where it did

[@zomarvelous]

Me and many other kids had our parents signing us out of sex Ed back in 2010/12 and in NC I wouldn’t be surprised if it were abstinence only anyways

[@laurenbenge4661]

IBLP?!? How did I miss THAT video???

[@cattoes1609]

2:43 @Dr. Honda Jonny couldn't of "Googled" anything, they had no acess to Google or the internet at that time from what I understand.

[@rayahayes-mora2796]

They were still having that convo once they returned home from the pods/vacation. He definitely had access to google then. But also, the ignorance of BC at that age is kind of mind blowing.

[@reneerevolinski4822]

As long as Amy wasn't forced to be on birth control, I don't understand why this is a big deal? If Johnny was a late bloomer - who cares?

[@JennHeartsYou92]

For someone to have gone that long without taking birth control contraceptives and had their reasons for it to then make that type of switch does seem a bit coerced.

[@reneerevolinski4822]

@JennHeartsYou92 , Amy did confirm she was not taking contraceptives, and Johnny did not get a vasectomy. Who was coerced into what?

[@ccdrago1545]

I think because Johnny (ironic name) and Amy didn't have any drama the show emphasized some big contraception talk because this "issue" feels forced and fake to me. Like they don't have direct answers or questions so it feels like fluff for the show's most unproblematic couple lol. Also maybe to push that they "wasn't having sex" because like AD, I don't believe that either haha. Latina families can be quite protective and strict about these things so I can see them just lying to save face

[@ImAllisonWonderland]

Diaphragm... Spermicide... Sponge. I assumed these were still options. Aren't they?

[@MyCookingAdventure16]

Patriarchal education has to do with it.. . Women are teach to take care in a general sense including sexuality and I have met a lot of men with the notice "she has to be taking care of her self" is not that the information is not available to them is just that they are not used to reaching since is somehow socially expected that a woman is going to take care of her self

[@00ralitza00]

Day six of me asking Dr. Honda to watch and review the show Fleabag.

[@magikenzee]

2:14 pretty sure Johnny was raised in an abstinence only kind of environment and the only other conversations were men wear condoms and women take birth control the end.....not to be rude but America is not known for its willingness to teach sexual health

[@TainaraCasarin]

He is one of those that leaves the responsibility of birth control to the woman and doesn't use condoms 😒

[@zacharyjohnson1193]

I've never sewn 90 Day Fiance, and your occasional commentary on it always affirms my decision to stay away from it.

[@nectarinepie952]

1. I suspect the editors cut Johnny's answer to make him look a little silly 2. I suspect what they ended up doing was the natural method which does require a lot of education around cycles etc. Someone else said in a comment that they have confirmed this on social media. That actually saddens me for Johnny because if having a baby too soon is such a huge fear of his then they shouldn't be using that method given failure rates. So she might have coerced him or convinced him using sketchy research that it was the way to go. If they end up with a baby, he could resent her for it.

[@ConstanzaRigazio]

I seriously hope that they’re also using condoms.