Couples Therapy (Showtime) #2 - Therapist Reaction

[@MoonWomanStudios]

My ex could never understand, I didn't want to have sex with someone that was mean to me all the time.

[@natasta2160]

I know that so well! He had the idea that you should be in the mood if you just had had an (abusive) argument, because that way emotions run high :)

[@kathyalex778]

A crucial part of a happy married sex life is definitely about feeling SAFE! Yes!

[@Jamie-wh3kd]

omg YES i was hoping you'd continue this

[@hexanchusgriseus]

same even though he only did one it's one of my faves!!

[@cararoe9342]

+

[@jacquelineavis]

@@cararoe9342 yes! same

[@thebowandbullet]

Based on my own observations, 'low' and 'high' libidos are never just low and high libidos. Sex doesn't happen in a vaccum. Context is everything (past experiences/trauma, preferences, current relationship, other types of intimacy received and given, respect and caring, other stressors, etc.).

[@courtneyw9630]

Have you read “come as you are” by Emily Nagoski buy any chance? ;)

[@thebowandbullet]

@@courtneyw9630 No, I haven't. Good book?

[@courtneyw9630]

@@thebowandbullet Yes! She talks a lot about context and stressors that can affect libido. It sounds like you definitely have a grasp on the concepts, but I think checking out the book would be worth your time.

[@deutschrapoderwas]

I've read that men on average have a higher libido than women because of the higher testosterone levels, but I'm not sure if it's overall true. But it maybe an interesting additional fact.

[@thebowandbullet]

@@deutschrapoderwas Female libido has long been misunderstood because men have been interested in mainly their own historically, and research reflects this. A lot of research is based on men, generally-speaking. Just another bias.

[@RT22444]

YYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY FINALLYYYYYYYYY PLS DO THE WHOLE SERIES

[@amigadecachorros]

“Maybe I’ll continue with this show?”… you’re hurting us doc. The last episode you did on this show was an hour long on six minutes of footage and that’s the kind of content I’m here for. What’s that? I should go outside and take a walk or take up another hobby?

[@char514]

yay! as a postgrad psych student, i've been looking forward to you reacting to this show, so i'm glad you've decided to continue!

[@janesutherland8755]

Me too!!!

[@emmalabarre2433]

Hooray! I’m absolutely thrilled that you are responding to this show again. Thank you so much!

[@habeashumor9814]

This is the best Dr. Honda analysis I’ve heard in a long time. I always enjoy your insights on the shows you watch. However, with these couples therapy sessions, you are 100% in your element and it shows. I really enjoy this.

[@rethinkcps2116]

Well said. Other ppll are wishing there was the full hour he devotes to some episodes. I get that point. But this tight 24 minutes were succinct and on point. KH packs in a lot here. Works well, works for me...

[@lisaess6514]

I absolutely either hate this husband or am super triggered by him. His whole attitude reeks of superiority in a way that makes me, I’m pretty much a pacifist and never believe in hands on, want to punch him. I wouldn’t last an entire date with this dude.

[@amaniahmed5481]

I watched the entire thing and he grew on me and things soften up eventually. I actually noticed I was VERY attracted to him but I never knew why, until more things in the series unfolded and you realize he is a wounded child trying his best to survive lol I used to pick wounded men because I can understand their trauma. At least I am aware of it now but that scared me how much more I wanted to see him talk. He is completely oblivious to his trauma which is why he triggers people.

[@Delilah2112]

I get you, some of the things he says sound mildly psychopathic. I feel scared and disgusted.

[@lagomorph770]

This guy is exhausting just listening to these short clips! I dated someone like that and they want a mommy to fill their every need, an endless pit of need that they will never take responsibility for and if you don't fill it, it's your fault - they suck the life outta you!

[@hissyfitz7890]

@@amaniahmed5481 - Ditto on choosing wounded men & being the fixer then resenting them for OUR CHOICE!

[@TimesUp8888]

For me it's bc NPD ppl are Run Don't Walk signs blaring alarm bells, something one would be wise to heed in my experience 😅

[@sillyaurora]

Oooh! I’m so excited you’re finally doing another one on this show!

[@lavinder11]

Yess! I love that you're continuing this series. This guy, Mau I think, isn't triggering to me, just a bit exhausting. I couldn't imagine being friends with him. The worst advice I've seen for a "low libido" person is to keep having sex, even if you're upset or unwilling. I think Esther Perel is a main proponent of this and it bugs me to no end considering the stereotype is the men want more sex while women don't. I dated a guy who didn't know how to show his emotions outside of sex. Meaning, if he was angry, sex, excited, sex, scared, sex, etc Eventually, even if you're a fellow horndog, that type of physical relationship becomes exhausting, especially if you aren't being fed emotionally outside of sex. Exhaustion creeps in and then resentment.

[@mistysmith5596]

Oh no, is Esther Perel really a proponent of this? I enjoy her content and I never got that feeling from her, but maybe I was looking at the wrong stuff. Is there a particular video or podcast you could direct me to where she expressess this view?

[@faux-nefarious]

Yeah I’m also generally a fan of Perel, and would be interested in any source you might have around her recommending this strategy

[@oksanaml9279]

I really like Esther Perel as a therapist as shown in her podcast, but in her talks or interviews, yes I've heard her recommend women do this and I don't agree. I can't name any specific example though.

[@Frasianfamily]

Check out The Gottman Institute. The Gottmans have stated that they don’t agree with some of her suggestions as it isn’t supported by research.

[@salmik_]

​@Frasianfamily id be interested to read the statement of the institute differing from Perel if you could please send

[@oliae2898]

yay! I listened to episode 1 many, many times. Looking forward to the continuation.

[@alaricmckenzie-boone2502]

I just started watching this with my partner. I'm so excited that you're doing more videos about this Dr. Kirk!

[@janaR457]

Literally thought this would never happen!

[@ninajerala2440]

Yaaaaay, Couples Therapy! Thank you dr. Kirk, fascinating stuff!

[@ial1197]

finallllyy! So happy to see you review this show! I think it's informative and great for those to see what actual couples therapy is like. I'm looking forward to this series

[@florencefiancee]

Maybe the dude should look in the mirror and ask why his wife doesn't want to have sex with him if he shames her all the time and indirectly asks what's wrong with her. -.-

[@oksanaml9279]

Yes - and remember the therapist pointed our to him that he goes straight to devaluing - his wife, but he also did it to the therapist.

[@suvi2787]

BIG THUMBS UP! Thanks dr. Honda!

[@bigal1870]

Dr. Kirk, once again you’ve got the gears turning in my head. Thank you for reacting to this show. I missed the first reaction video, but I see why people in the comment section are so excited to see you continue this series. I’m really excited about this too.

[@JamesLouisWagner]

please please - I wish you'd do every couple and every episode. the two episodes you analyzed were fabulous! I mean, if you can do so many episodes of 90 day fiance'... this seems way more valuable to me.

[@TheSunnySimi]

PLEASE continue with this show doc, we the viewers love this clinical style of content.

[@diversity_now]

the way you described the therapists approach in the last video and how you would do it differently mad me realize why I didn't get along with my previous therapists. actually made me very emotional. so thanks for that.

[@claudiam9356]

Omg yes!!! Clicked like pre-emptively 😉🔥💜

[@yaimerievargas]

YESS THANK YOU DR HONDA You’re the best

[@Ghlknxmk]

thank you!! pls keep doing these, this show is amazing

[@ChristinaChrisR]

Is this true? Finally! I’m happy! Gonna watch as soon as I get the chance. 🌷

[@Dear9812]

So glad you revisited this show!! Have a great day!

[@dropsomania8]

Yes! I've been waiting for it! Thank you for continuing with this series, dr. Honda!

[@Delilah2112]

"The idea of 'I don't want to' doesn't make sense to me, there's something wrong with you" what even is this ffs... I know it's easy to watch this and jump to "they should break up!!" and things are not so simple, but honestly, I really struggle to understand why someone should stay married to him. He literally doesn't understand the concept of not wanting to do something, that is scary and dangerous. I know we don't see their whole life and perhaps he's a good husband overall but in my eyes any redeeming qualities he might have are very heavily eclipsed by this.

[@runlolarun8957]

Oh yay!!! Thank you. Waiting for this for a long time. So happy to watch!

[@anastasiakircheva6766]

Ohhhh I would love to see more! My hubby and I have the same struggles and are now in therapy together to be better for eachother! I loved the coverage of this and I resonated with everything ❤

[@dianajackson7241]

The husband really triggers me. He seemed to trigger the therapist too when I watched this episode

[@miekekuppen9275]

I really admire the good doctor for being so understanding to *everyone*, always looking for reasons, causes, and a way forward. I just want to push this client out of the window and have three showers. With bleach. Thank heavens I´m not a therapist!

[@lagomorph770]

@@miekekuppen9275 OMG 3 showers w bleach - lol!

[@serenity__now]

Same and i agree. However she's a professional so it's her job to handle that in a helpful way - and in my opinion she let her emotions and reactivity get the best of her at times to the detriment of the process

[@Sandy-of6gq]

I agree. That kind of behaviour and mindset make me recoil honestly

[@bardomotion]

YYYYYEEEESSSS. So glad this reaction series is continuing! 🎉

[@PabloGRocks]

SO HAPPY you're continuing this series! I binge watched it not thinking I would get invested but it was incredibly fascinating and addictive to watch!

[@Taquito_666]

Yay! Glad to see you continue this series!

[@LeahLeah222]

Yesss!!! Thank you for doing this show again!!!

[@yendrickporras4516]

THANK YOU DR. HONDA!! WE APPRECIATE THIS POST! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@kara.g.]

One time when I was watching one of your videos my boyfriend commented that you look like Mark Ruffalo. 😅 He apologized for not being able to focus on what you were saying because that’s all he could think about.

[@claraluna7436]

Yes, please continue with this show!

[@Maya-xt5ku]

Thank you so much! Love it Dr. Honda!

[@zachmeints6603]

Hey Kirk. Loving these! I’m a patron on the podcast and MSW student. I’ve been a huge fan of this show and enjoy hearing your take on the clients and therapist dynamic. It’s engrossing watching where Dr. Guralnik’s psychoanalytic background seems to inform some of her choices as well hearing where your more attachment based approach overlaps or diverges. I’d love to see more.

[@louiseeverartsdevelp9654]

Got so existed to see you are continuing this series! My husband and I have been watching it since a week and we are loving the show! Can’t wait to hear your insights!

[@keegankupcakes827]

I really really hope you continue with this show!!! It’s sooooo interesting!

[@vantorin]

finally!! I'm so excited you decided to continue watching and reacting to this!

[@MalinLH]

Finally!!! Love this series!

[@mmcreads]

YAY i love this show - and this year's recent season was sooo good

[@LetsGetjiggy-t3t]

Please keep doing your show! I have always been fascinated as to how the therapeutic process works. I am riveted to your detailed explanations!!

[@live2seemc863]

I’ve literally been waiting so long for this! Thank you 😊

[@queence777]

Love love love the way you explain 💙💙💙

[@shinebrightandglow]

Love this series- finding it years later but would love more videos like this with a breakdown of the dynamics of couples therapy.

[@kaylataylor570]

Please do more of these! I'm not in any shape, way or form a therapist and I'm enjoying this immensely

[@tresdj]

So, I REALLY had hoped that you would include her follow-up sessions with her advisor. Even just a touch on it briefly kind of approach. Mostly because I feel like so many of the things you point out about therapists are reinforced in those meetings and it would provide the viewer a clear example of those things. I.e. in episode 1 when you recognize that the husband's behavior is difficult, as a therapist, to find a way to not have personal feelings about and she DOES have a discussion around that with her advisor. Idk, about anyone else who had already seen the show, but for me I kept, saying "Just wait" as I watched the commentary, KNOWING it would mirror what was about to happen. I was disappointed, not devastated, to see that the bits with her advisor didn't make the cut. 😉 Okay that's our time ⏲️ 😌

[@christinalavettedujardin3841]

Loved watching this show and seeing your commentary, I hope you will continue!

[@beccabee7736]

so stoked this is back. these are great videos as someone finishing up my undergrad and pursuing a MSc in clinical psych!

[@bluebirdredrobin6827]

Yay!!!! I love this show. I’m so happy 😀

[@abandonablesnowman]

This dude seems like an actor with how extreme and one-sided his thinking is

[@wkdjjdjdd1469]

funny enough I actually know him 😭 he’s not an actor

[@Kosaiya]

Oh yay! I was hoping you would continue with it.

[@iriang.a.9209]

Yesssss! So excited to watch!!!!

[@jonathanlopez5452]

Please continue with this, I really enjoyed this video

[@DamKeepItClassy]

Dr. H, i know you’ve only done 2 videos on this show but those are one of your best analysts! Absolutely love your insight, I feel like I’ve learned a tone!

[@b.t.9071]

I love all of these videos. I have learned so much from this channel about the mechanics of therapy, about the theories of therapy it has lead me to be able to create healing experiences for myself which has lead to large amounts of symptom reduction and not causing myself more trauma or reopening old trauma. For the first time since starting therapy in 2011 I can see a day not too far off where I will be in a place to end therapy. Because of what I've learned here and taken to therapy I have words for my goals, and have a clear understanding of what I want to get from therapy besides, "I want to feel better". I have loved your deep dives on theory, and then to watch how that is applied through these other videos is SO helpful. Therapy and what I learned here has forever changed my life and the lives of my husband and children. THANK YOU!

[@daveofallpeople]

Glad you brought this one back!

[@Izzyouable]

Omg, I'm so happy!!

[@user-fj9fo9uv2m]

Yayyy, please continue with this show (or at least this couple)! :)

[@chikai.3866]

Thank you!! I've been waiting for this to keep going!

[@Tyda777]

Yes PLEASE DrHonda find the time to analysis something else than the 90 days train wreck franchises.

[@TheMorcroft]

Omg YES. Couple's Therapy is my favorite thing Dr Honda covers. So pleased

[@TJMatball]

I too vote for more of this series. It's not a juggernaut like 90 Day Fiancé, but it's the information I subscribe to this channel for

[@DanielleMarieW]

I am really glad Dr H is continuing with this show! I get he is busy and probably doing more things out and about now that he’s fulled vaccinated. I want to say I REALLY appreciated his comments on the first episode. The bit about the counsellor colluding with the wife was very interesting. Thanks and have a good day 😊

[@KristinDennen]

Yes I was waiting for this!

[@ArielLVT]

OH MY GOD YES!!!! PLEASE DON'T STOP REVIEWING THIS SHOW IT'S AMAZING! I just finished season 2 and it was better than I expected!

[@pdxportlandia]

People these days, throw words like "crazy", "addict", "narcissist" so loosely when they have no idea what those words actually mean.

[@mr.mayonnaise5488]

YES! The 1st one was my favorite video from you. I’m so excited for this and I hope it continues

[@melchol2121]

I can’t wait to get through both seasons! I like rewatching it with an actual couples therapist

[@Foxymusea]

Yes please, continue with this show 🙏

[@maddycheese]

This is my favorite show that you do (and you've only done 2!)

[@amaniahmed5481]

Yesssss!!!!! I almost jumped out of my chair seeing this!! Thank you!!!!

[@war5561]

Continue with this. Please

[@elizabethmcmanus189]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue this series!!

[@SrunikaKannan]

Thank you for continuing this Dr. Honda.

[@randybaird397]

Thank you so much for your very helpful explanations with these couples episodes. I appreciate it. Please keep doing it

[@maym3456]

So thankful for this episode. Thank you for continuing! Your input is very helpful.

[@IsaacHarris]

I really enjoy your channel and your insights into what's going on with other psychology shows. Thanks!

[@marydowd1290]

Fabulous insight. Plesse continue. This is like having a professor lecture

[@giovannaaag]

YES! Please continue to do this series!

[@mondoenterprises6710]

A lot of insight into the process of therapy. Thanks.

[@YottaDotta]

*Screaming* I have been waiting for this!!!! Thanks dr. Kirk

[@itsabohemianlife5202]

this is my favorite show for you to react to!!

[@paolamori31]

"Bag the babes" if you will.....should be the new T-shirt!!!!

[@heybaby419]

“Bag the babes if you will” lmaaaao

[@PhilmFreak]

Love this series! Hope you continue watching and reacting!!

[@johnnal9066]

This is my favorite couple on the best show for you to watch!!!!!

[@priskasummer970]

I have a bit of this dynamic in my relationship… thank you for speaking about this and doing this review! You’re awesome :)

[@lilacrose5266]

Yes! Please continue this series!!!

[@Maya-sd4jl]

I was appalled by Mau when I watched the show. To the point where even when he did reveal his childhood trauma I had a hard time empathizing. But your analyses really help me slow down and soften my stance on him and recognize him as someone in pain ♥️

[@eliani1326]

I suggested this analysis ever since it came out. I love hearing your thoughts!!!!!

[@yooki198]

I am so eager for you to hear their "origin stories ". It all then makes so much more sense

[@sallylomidze8654]

I just rewatched your first episode reaction, I’m so happy you’re reacting to it again, it’s so fascinating, thank you! 😍😍😍

[@lucindainez8401]

Oooh thank you for continuing with these episodes!!

[@InvisibleBlues]

I’m so HAPPY that you’ve returned to this!

[@cararoe9342]

Been waiting for this since the first one came out, keen for you to continue with it!