Matthew Hussey: “I Wish I Knew THIS When I Was Single” - How To HEAL The #1 Pattern BLOCKING LOVE

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Today, we're excited to chat with Matthew Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and renowned relationship coach. In this conversation we’ll dive into the secrets of all successful relationships. In this episode Matthew shares his invaluable insights on the key elements that constitute successful relationships. He emphasizes the importance of giving up certain types of attention to attract what you truly need, the distinction between impressing and connecting, and the crucial role of authenticity in forming genuine connections.
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0:00 Intro
00:04:31 - Building Yourself Up for Attraction
00:09:43 - The Difference between Impressing and Connecting
00:14:49 - Connecting through vulnerability in relationships
00:19:26 - The Importance of Vulnerability in Connecting
00:24:04 - Being Vulnerable and Connecting on a Date
00:28:36 - The Turnoff of Being "Too Nice"
00:33:13 - Understanding relational patterns
00:38:21 - Trauma Bonding and Inconsistent Love
00:43:18 - Attracting Toxic and Selfish People
00:47:45 - Finding Authenticity in Relationships
00:52:46 - Being Seen and Accepted in a Relationship
00:58:04 - Practice for Hard Conversations
01:02:57 - Meeting Each Other's Needs
01:07:47 - Expectations and Frustrations in Relationships
01:12:26 - Choosing a Partner with an Abundance of Choices
01:17:26 - Signs of a Deceptive Personality
01:22:22 - Finding Familiarity in a Relationship
01:27:41 - Rewiring Your Brain for Happiness
01:32:33 - Building a Great Relationship by Settling
01:37:32 - Relationships and Personal Growth
01:42:00 - Self-Compassion and Love for Life
01:47:04 - Self-compassion and sharing vulnerability
01:52:05 - "Love Life Book" Promotion
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

[@lewishowes]

Thanks to Matthew for sharing his wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes

[@thematthewhussey]

Thanks brother! Amazing conversation! For anyone who wants to grab a copy of the new book, you can find it at www.LoveLifeBook.com ❤️🙏

[@NaNa-vx1ey]

To be honest, this is the most enlightening podcast in recent months, seriously and I watch podcast everyday, especially the last part, it truly touched my heart, thanks for having him here

[@elenadumitrov8896]

Yes! I found Matthew on KZbin 10 years ago. After I divorced my husband of 25 years I needed dating advice. He is genuine, respectful and sweet. I realised that if you start not liking yourself, you are not in the right relationship. For about. ‘5 minutes’ I tried online dating and my profile said: ‘I’m not perfect and you are not perfect but are we perfect for each other?’ Thank you both for sharing your wisdom and being vulnerable. 🙏❤️

[@christinamarti4441]

Thank you both ! I’m very happy you both found love ❤️

[@christinamarti4441]

Lewis you and Martha make a beautiful couple una pareja muy linda llena de amor bendiciones 🙏💕

[@barbarawhiteside9562]

Well, he just answered the million-dollar question of my life, "Why are you single?" Because my whole life, I have chosen people who activate my nervous system into fight or flight mode thinking that it was love. I have never been able to answer that question with so few words . But it's the truth, thank you

[@Gringavaitecontar]

I have the same experience

[@kattell5183]

same

[@taekookielover1985]

omg same and i think this also is something which is really empowering in a sense that this person is not per se a bad person we are just incompatible

[@besapeposhi3864]

What was the answer?

[@NeeNHassan]

Thanks for making it clear and bold to be read and understood

[@thematthewhussey]

Thank you for having me on man! I so appreciated this conversation! Literally one of my favorite shows in the world to do. And thank you to all of you here for your beautiful comments. They mean so very much! ❤

[@brendamoran3954]

🙏❤

[@myhappyvibe]

And it s great how you transformed yourself Matthew over all these years. It s amazing ❤

[@scarletwilson2562]

This is so great! Especially the last part when answering what you would tell yourself. I needed to hear that. Also, your energy seems so much more calm and peaceful.

[@user-xv3zr4lm1j]

So happy you found your person Matthew! Had me wondering there for a while 😊

[@cynthiaars8140]

Thank you for your wisdom!! ❤

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

@34:47 The guy I most recently dated told me about the last girl he was with & how she was really cold and never acknowledged him or how he cared for her, but he still wrote sad songs about her. I tried to end it when I realized he was hung up on someone, but he insisted he was as healing and he saw dating me as moving forward from that. Yet of course, he wasn’t showing up in the way I know I deserve, and I experienced HIM as being unavailable emotionally. I could tell he enjoyed how nurturing, sweet, and open I was to him, but he took it for granted. And I understand, because I’ve been in his position. It’s what you guys are talking about - we only recognize love when we are trying to earn it. I was doing it with him and he wasn’t as into me as the last girl because he didn’t have to earn my love/attention. Clearly we’re both wounded. It woke me up to the work I still have to do personally. No regrets.

[@PlutosMoon22]

Thank you for this! I've been watching Lewis for a while now and Ive heard him speak generally on the past relationship that helped send him on this journey. While its always nice to be in a healthy/ easy relationship (especially after a challenging one) I hope he's genuinely moving on. Too much time being introspective can mess up the future of his current relationship even if that trama is making money now.

[@InspireFreedomForever]

This must be common. I experienced something very similar in my last relationship. It made me question if love really exists or if it's all just one big game. 😢

[@cyndigooch1162]

​@@PlutosMoon22 I'm not sure if you know about Lewis Howes' extreme childhood trauma issue, which takes a lot of work and a long time to heal from. It's totally worth it in the end though. ❤

[@queenprotein]

Women with boundaries, self love, self awareness, self reflection, self worth and humility will be ready and receptive to the man who presents calm, considerate, inquisitive and receptive behavior.

[@LoveAndLightForEveryone]

I am sending love and light to those people who are addicted to toxicity. You are worthy of a healthy relationships, even if you don’t see it yet! Good luck🕊

[@Reteet123]

My husband of almost 20 years said to me, “I would do things for you, but I don’t know what you like”. Funny, I knew everything that he liked and loved… he’s my ex husband now. It boggled my mind, how can you be with someone for 20 years, yet, you don’t know them.

[@Yasmin-dw5pl]

This seriously resonates! 😮

[@jag28co]

Did you ever tell him what your needs were?

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Lol. Im a dude, married many yrs now. Be CLEAR with men. AlWAYS. We arent women.

[@renette0506]

​@@jag28co, constantly. He didn't ever hear me, I wasn't important.

[@nataliastrom2020]

I know the feeling, you tell them what you like, want and need and they don't listen and then get defensive and mad that you never told them any of it. Irresponsible people blame others for their own flaws.

[@MahasSaham79]

Not every woman is whole, healed, and able to receive Love. We have to stop grouping all women and men into the same category....and start evaluating each person on their own journey and where they are, emotionally, psychologically etc.❤

[@Topsnap_Podcast]

This is so true🎉... My person left. She needed to fix herself.. I needed to fix myself. We were in ❤ , but. A lot of family crap got in Our way. I will always care for her and Love her. I hope she is healing. I want what's best for her in her life. #laurennicolemills

[@NK-vs3je]

I’m really proud of how far I’ve come in voicing my needs, however, the recent experience of having my needs labelled “too high expectations” or “sensitive” or “you shouldn’t need that” and invalidated and denied really shook me. It’s been 2 months and I’m already healing well, but I wish I walked away once my needs were denied. They were as simple as cuddles after intimacy, going on a date, asking for an apology… basic things. I was always the one going “how can I love you better? What can I do? What do you need?” And he asked it once towards the end of our relationship, made the change I requested, then blew up when he couldn’t keep up the “act” as he called it. Man, I’m ready to work on myself and take this time to heal, and when I date again, I’m being authentically me and not being afraid to say no to the wrong person…

[@therealsandraweise]

That's not your person. You can speak up. People get to still say no.

[@Bee_willder]

I feel this. My current partner is very open to discussion on needs and feelings but every time I have a conversation I’m scared. It’s wild he’s never given me a reason to be but that’s my healing to work through

[@tammywegener5203]

I'll take "too nice" over "narcissism" ANY day!!!

[@tammywegener5203]

I'm an Empath. My soul gets drained my Narcissists. 😪

[@tammywegener5203]

I totally relate to you Matthew! Since I was little. 😔

[@Anniepat2340]

I used to think if a guy was too nice then I was going to eventually take that for granted and take advantage of him. (So dumb…). Everyone knows “those guys” in high school. you don’t want a puppy dog but sometimes what you think is a puppy dog is just someone who adores you and wants to spend time with you. Now I wish I married one of them! But now I am the “too nice” one in a relationship and I don’t like being on this end. Looking for that “nice guy” again.

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

Matthew Hussey is the absolute OG. Such a wise man.

[@digital_intel]

OG 100

[@legalservices8856]

@@digital_intel what is OG please?

[@digital_intel]

Ogondi Gertrapaturtle@@legalservices8856

[@soapyfankatie]

"Who do I feel the most at home with and who do I feel most like myself" Needed to hear this today, great advice

[@emmyemmy8669]

the authenticity in this episode is what makes it so attractive. both of you are sharing and being vulnerable and - ah ha, a human. and happy birthday lewis!

[@4787fhjjk]

You can see how much Matthew likes Lewis in the intro. I love his warmth. His insight into the human experience catches me off guard every time. He is so good.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!

[@cyndijohnson5473]

I can attest to dropping the thing we normally use to attract people. I’m huge into pole fitness & I have a ton of fantastic pictures…but putting them on the dating app profile gets me nothing but superficial men chasing thrills. Once I started posting my average every day pictures, I began getting better matches

[@Bee_willder]

Same!!! I can’t post any pole or even bikini pics without getting bombarded by creeps

[@AoibheannDoyle-SoulTherapist]

💯

[@miss_whipps]

Great example of his point! Hope you're finding people who appreciate all of you!❤

[@bpassion4fashion581]

32:40 That’s spot on about the nervous system ! … ANDDDD a lot of the times childhood unhealed trauma around not having father figures that protected them as little girls tend to gravitate towards “ bad boys “ and so they misread and confuse the power control and fake confidence they portray, with a man that has the potential to provide protection. I believe that women intrinsically want a good, gentle man that can also make her feel protected.

[@Moon_Fire_Water]

That part

[@Kathy-qu8zj]

Hand raise..🙋‍♀️been there, still there.

[@Yasmin-dw5pl]

@@Kathy-qu8zjYep same. However it’s destroyed me.

[@pixie3458]

This is so true and familiar. It's really hard to understand why you attract and are attracted to the wrong people if the rejection, lack of attention or lack of protection happened when you were little more than a baby. I felt I 'lost' my relationship with my father when my sister was born. He enjoyed babies and was the only one who could soothe me as a little one. All that stopped when I was a 'grown up girl' at 2 1/2!

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

Toxic love can be emotionally draining and harmful to your overall well-being. It's important to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship, such as constant criticism, manipulation, or lack of respect. Remember, you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and consider seeking professional help if needed. Take care of yourself and prioritize your happiness. You deserve a healthy and fulfilling love. ❤️

[@sharronchep]

The constant critism part is terrible

[@craigosterberg5045]

Thanks

[@shilparathore3181]

Two sensitive men with intelligent conversation! Thank you for this. You both provided a lot of insight on many issues with relationships.

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

@@shilparathore3181 Welcome

[@linamartinez2552]

Flowers on a first date is great. If there is a future in that relationship, then you have great memories to reflect the first gift, etc. it’s always good to be generous.

[@NattAram]

Matthew is one of the people I really feel is connected to his heart space.

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you for being here 🧡

[@NattAram]

@@lewishowes appreciate you too!

[@lilibethnieto55]

Self compassion is a beautiful gift to ourselves. This podcast is so raw and full of human softness, definitely the reason why we all attract the people that we create relationships with because we do see our brokenness in them. Being truly authentic and naked emotionally takes courage. Nobody wants to be judged and not like because we are who we are. The feeling of being safe and home with someone is truly amazing yet it takes vulnerability and compassionate acceptance to arrive home. I appreciate both your openness and vulnerability as the leaders and authority navigating this topic. I feel that both your life experiences creates volumes impacting us today ❤️. Grateful to both of you. Gracias!🙏

[@lewishowes]

Thank you! Appreciate you for watching. 🧡

[@denel6]

I love the challenge to the first question…when you become the person you want to attract, the dating pool can become very small. I consider this very positive.

[@anaissolotraveler]

I am very grateful to listen that kind of conversation 😊 It changed my whole life! I am 30 during my 20s I didn't know about self love, having boudaries and it turned out when I became aware I was surrouding with toxic relationship included friends 😅 I am single since 8 years don't have close friends since 2 years. I am rebuilding and recreate a new life 😃 It been 2 years I focus on myself and the love I am worthy about 😊 It people like you who change my life game ❤ My deepest gratitude 😇

[@lewishowes]

Thank you! Appreciate you for watching.

[@sharonkitalei]

I relate to your story gal

[@isabellakarner7403]

You two have such a special friendship! you truly see each other, this is beautiful! I am happy for you! there is something magical about turning 40... I guess at some point you are done with suffering and truly understand the importance of being truthful to your heart and thats when all the great people start showing up- friendships, love life etc everything improves...

[@lindajohnson2177]

Lewis, I love your vulnerability. So happy that you found your person 💗

[@c.schuster7353]

Matthew is such a wise and compassionate man. So thankful for his advice.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for watching!

[@HumanityRisingNow]

The two definitions of commitment were quite the eye opener: 1. A condition that restricts action 2. A dedication to a cause. Which one you choose can really determine how you feel in a relationship.

[@MaggieC21]

I think what you share is particularly poignant for men. Women tend to romanticize commitment, yet both rarely see commitment as a dedication to personal growth and advancing one's maturity and fulfillment via a shared contribution to mutual well-being.

[@theubercaste]

1:13 1. Love and accept yourself 2. Love… others 3. Repeat If you want to be loved, love someone else. If you want to be adored, adore someone else. If you want to be served, serve someone else.

[@CeciledeLuire]

plus 4. have values (that really matter to you) and boundaries and stick to them!

[@v9b23j]

What a beautiful conversation. I am touched by Matthew's vulnerability and gratitude for the relationship and connection he has build and nurtured with himself, Audrey and his life 🥰

[@wimvankempen8458]

I recently gave myself 5 years based on solid advice to find my perfect love or SP or soulmate of my dreams. I feel this will give me a lot of space to work on myself first

[@myjourney73]

Two awesome people who live what they preach.living examples of change and success!

[@AngelEyes-xm7el]

I don't try to impress, take me as I am. Down to earth. Thank you fella's .

[@LoveAngel333]

I so long for a partner that will allow me in. I want to know my partner so I can give to them and love and encourage them based on who they truly are. Someone who lives in their authentic self. People don’t know how to be their true-selves. Fear has them so trapped. I love to see people do what they love to do authentically. The happiness you see in them, the genuine happiness is so beautiful to see in another person. People don’t know how to be happy truly happy and it so sad it makes me cry when I see someone trapped and stuck from true happiness

[@lenkaa.9955]

When we start to become better person (whole life journey) we still attract same amount of people, just different sort. But its true it's you loose a lot people around you. You have changed, so you don't click anymore. my circle is smaller since I am doing personal development. They say it's a lonely path, the self actualization. You are not fuzzing around with majority ppl who simply have other beliefs and standards, I guess. Lovely podcast, thank you guys. Following both of you for years now ❤

[@swingtempo9321]

My first ''Aha a human'' moment with Matthew. This is a great conversation because they have both done the work on themselves and are clearly going to therapy now; My problem with life coaches is when they don't recommend people do the same and seek professional help from a licensed professional as a number one step. Life coaches who want to sell you their own made up ultimate fairy tale solution for ''best life'' / mental health are just dangerous

[@cindydiamond3215]

Probably the best interview I’ve ever seen of Matthew. Thank you.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@tianyiwang2049]

I have followed both of you for years. And remember watching Matthew's videos 10 years ago as a shy high schooler. This was one of the most vulnerable, insightful, resonant interviews I have ever listened to. And a video I plan to re-watch when I need a reminder of what true peace within myself and relationships can be like during my own journey. Thank you both so much.

[@lewishowes]

So happy to hear my content was helpful for you! 🧡

[@erael540]

I can 100% can relate to this. Learning my patterns has helped me. Learning to move and recognize things is life changing.

[@tracysmith4878]

Lewis has brought light, wisdom, depth and genuine spirit to the surface

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for your kind words 🧡

[@carolinepostlethwaite4861]

Beautiful interaction. I can see how both of you have grown into yourselves & relaxed. A absolute joy to see & be with you😊❤

[@christinamarti4441]

Long before I ever heard of attachment style I knew I had an issue with self love I needed constant validation it’s so clear to me thank you

[@janespitfire9884]

I enjoy listening to both of you intelligent men. Thank you!!

[@lewishowes]

Thank you! Your support means a lot🧡

[@mariaandres2422]

I enjoy day to day being single 😊

[@Pixeleen77]

Some of which Matthew speaks of is called Limerence. It's an incredibly painful state of relationship toxicity. It was coined by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov. He's just got better and better over the years, and his vulnerability is so refreshing. Well done to you both.👍🏾

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@gabrielacruceanu9922]

If it s toxic then it is not love ... so let it go anyway.

[@theyetti90]

You've saved all of mankind 🙃

[@gabrielacruceanu9922]

@@theyetti90 mankind saves itself , or not

[@macm2373]

Exactly! 🙌

[@Angela-vb3tk]

Easy said than done

[@gabrielacruceanu9922]

@@Angela-vb3tk as always...

[@Bee-lp3wj]

I appreciate Matthew's content. He can give dating advice without being misogynistic. Choosing people who are toxic for us isn't exclusive to women. The whole women don't like nice guys trope needs to go. It has to do with attachment style issues. Both genders can choose people who are toxic as partners.

[@gw6975]

I think the most honorable thing a man can do on a first date is pay. Bringing flowers and all kinds of shiz when you don't even know a person is overboard. Just pay. Pay 1st, 2nd and then if things going great and want to bring a flower or something if you want. Just pay for the date. Be good company is your primal responsibility.

[@OhGodGirl]

Really appreciate the openness and vulnerabilty from both of you.

[@verpul165]

Two great men! I have been following you @Lewis Howes since 2014, you helped me to go trough the darkest and most painful part of my life then, thanks your amazing interviews. Every interview that I see from you, I can see you continually growing! you get better and better interviewing but specially as a human being. And you @Matthew Hussey, I found you 2015 and I was at one of your retreats 2015 or 2016 (San Diego). I have to say that you are a 180° different person today than then... I see now the softer-loving-compasionate and the real MATTHEW, THIS IS MATTHEW. Live is hard in how it changes us, but seeing it from the illuminated side of the tunnel, it is the greatest gift we could have ever received. You both made a wonderful interview here. I appreciate you both and thank you for being here.

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@queenprotein]

Flowers can have a loaded response. If in her previous relationship, he only presented flowers when he was in trouble then going forward, when someone new brings flowers, it can remind them of sadness, a time when they felt abandoned and/or betrayed.

[@ElephantPatronus]

I think flowers on the first date would make me feel uncomfortable. It’s too much too soon. If, after the date, I don’t feel chemistry with him, then it’s going to feel even more awkward. I agree, I’d rather him wait until he knows me better and we are clicking. Then flowers are absolutely lovely to receive. 💐

[@dnmp4632]

It’s not easy to leave situations we know aren’t healthy, the recognition of that struggle in this conversation makes it relatable and easier to digest. It’s extremely motivating and uplifting when examining our dark chapters in life❤

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!

[@cathybinder1111]

I’m feeling like it’s never about the giving or offering it’s more about the WHO is doing the offering. If it’s someone who is fulfilled within themselves they give for the joy of giving. When I personally am not feeling whole I realize I’m really offering from more of a place of need . So it’s in the intention. Intention is powerful and offers the information that the nervous system of the “other” is searching for. 😁

[@SuperAbigaila]

I´ve learned more here than in 4 years of university

[@lewishowes]

😜👌👌

[@americangirl4299]

As I watch this video, I can sense the passion you both have on this topic. This interview has been so enlightening and informative. Thank you guys for the insight!!

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@bpassion4fashion581]

Oh Wao! I am glad I stuck to the end of this interview. I have had that same “ Self-Hate-Talk” and it’s so healing and validating that you shared this Mathew!

[@michellerobert_mindfulme]

This is one of the best podcasts I've ever heard. Mat has grown so much n changed so much from when I first watched his videos. So proud of you 🤗 🤗

[@mcmakeup007]

I can’t be the only one. But has anyone else noticed how Lewis has become more authentic in his interviews compared to 3 years ago?

[@yudanaim6849]

When you are inside a toxic relationship you can't just go out of it. There is an emotional chain that is very strong around the victim. Like an anaconda. So whatever people say is not effective enough.

[@MaggieC21]

It’s why leaving is often preceded by significant health impairments and growing levels of helpless/hopeless feelings and depression with anxiety. The victim has to finally see that saving their life is worth facing the outcomes of their life as their own responsibility. Victimhood can only be overcome when you stop allowing it. I know after having gone through this and being gut wrenched by it more than once. Each time, speaking up and suffering the consequences was a cycle until I knew I must leave everything I cared about to reclaim my life. In the end… I discovered that this is a process of learning how to love myself. I had to care more about my own wellbeing than anyone else. Love like that makes aware and courageous decisions to put the quality of one’s life in one’s own hands. As long as you give that away to others, you will remain in toxic trauma bonds.

[@ViagensGringa]

Excellent points, I relate so hard, transitioning out of a toxic one now. The plot was thickened this time around bc he wasn’t intentionally toxic, but on the spectrum and sweet but so emotionally absent 😔 Feeling relieved to leave tho

[@Gringavaitecontar]

I know what you are taking about

[@perfectlyimperfect7373]

⁠​⁠@@MaggieC21so true! It took me years of cycling thru those same types of relationship mistakes, until I ended up in a DV situation. Thankfully that one DV experience is what I finally needed to let go of those old habits/beliefs/etc. and truly learn what I needed to heal. It’s been quite a journey, one I’m still traveling, but at almost 40 I can finally say I have a healthy relationship with a man who is willing to travel this journey with me, as we support each other in our continued growth. We recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary, and both look forward to many more years of this wonderful partnership. I hope you are continuing with your growth too. 😀

[@katapultleadgen]

I learn so much from Matthew hussey in personal development every time I listen to him!! Thank you Matthew for helping me see other perspectives and how I show up in relationships

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for being here!

[@lindafano491]

Every man should listen to this podcast!

[@InspireFreedomForever]

I wonder if any men listen to this😢

[@marilynantonucci3843]

Omg! Caught The Live! My FAV Matthew Hussey & Lewis! 💙🖤💙

[@wimvankempen8458]

❤ Same, grateful to be here

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@gabriellaluzpm]

I love you both. Thanks for existing.

[@kathrynbrown7392]

This is great life advice in general! I’ve been feeling like people see me as useful but not valuable, especially at work but also in friendships. I just realized that I think that if I don’t show how helpful I am, people won’t be interested in me. This is so helpful! Thank you!

[@lewishowes]

Glad this was helpful for you. 🧡

[@ilianahernandezb1850]

This interview is too much! Matthew’s videos help me a lot years ago and still. Lewis school of greatness is amazing too. Thank you!!!🙏🏼

[@karentyndall7948]

I wish I knew this 15 years ago after my divorce. However I have been conflict averse all my life. People pleasing and in a trauma bond for 31 years. I feel seen and heard now thank you! Maybe I can learn to love again in a beautiful relationship! Watch this space! Regulating my nervous system and showing up as the real me is a great start! You are both amazing men well done! Thanks for sharing your vulnerability and your strength! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@randomfun3845]

Women don't like when you are afraid to be yourself. Be authentic!! We don't like to carry the conversations & be the only one real.

[@ShivaShaktification]

Sure, every single thing is always the man's fault and the man's responsibility. I'm so sick of it

[@luchiayoung]

Realize that when you say “women” you are including all women and your statement is then not true. The women that are trying to learn, and that are in therapy or listening to podcasts like this one are different than most of the women out there that think they’ve got it all together. The reason women can’t find men anymore or decent men is because they’re not decent women. Speak for yourself and not all women.

[@ullanoonan3023]

Listening to your conversation was a breath of fresh air!! Thank-you

[@olee457]

Healing to listen to two kind, growth-minded men show up with authenticity, love, and bravery ❤

[@rachelsnewlife]

Sooo raw and real and soulful 💜 Love you two sooo much!! Thank you for the deep insight that we all share sooo many similar human insecurities and qualities!!

[@XZ858XZ]

Love Matthew! Always enjoy hearing him speak

[@chiaracris84]

Matthew is the best on this topic- also because of how clearly he presents his answers. It’s literally impossible not to get him. Amazing episode!!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for tuning in.

[@DustFreeZone]

I love the clarification about "nice guys" being a turn-off at about minute 28. Thank you for bringing up this topic, and giving the perfect answer! Bravo!

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@lianaa4401]

This was great! I can hear how much Matthew has really put in the work to reflect on himself on a personal level and for that now he can see it in others where we truly need help. Your amazing Mathew thank you 🙏🏽💛💛💛 and always thank you Lewis for the great interviews! 💛💛💛🙏🏽

[@deecool6327]

This guy...really speaks to me. I wish him well in life.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you! Appreciate you for tuning in!

[@genesisnin293]

Love this podcast so much! 🤍 how people can be vulnerable here is just GOLD. ☺️

[@lewishowes]

So glad you loved it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@toogie2shoes]

I think bringing flowers is a lovely thing to do. It is not creepy at all imo. But a man being dismissive and only into himself really turns me off.

[@user-dc6wz4dv3l]

You can just tell how happy Lewis is because he did the work!

[@Africanbeautyy93]

One of my favorite people on the internet. So real and so much truth! Love Mathew Hussey!

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you and your support🧡

[@PatriciaMcDaniel-dm6di]

This was so incredible, authentic, healing and so informative in every way!! Thank you so much! Extraordinary‼️

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome,thank you for tuning in 🧡

[@cathybinder1111]

I remember the day that the woman I’d known for over a year and had been drawn to immediately as a mother figure …. I found through another of her friends, had actually lost a 24 year old daughter and she’d never even mentioned it to me how my admiration and joyful amazement and respect beyond …… just grew like SO VERY MUCH!!!! as in times a million !!!!! To this day she remains my 87 year old wise powerful woman mother creator to me. WOW! When people are fulfilled within themselves THEY ARE SO ASTOUNDING TO ME OMG!!!!!💜🦋💜🦋💜

[@gw6975]

This is a great talk/podcast. This particular one. Totally relate!

[@paulcurto3111]

Love all the knowledge bombs here thanks for this gentleman feeling very blessed to run across this and so very timely for me and multiple people in my life.

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you for watching! 🧡

[@anikaray4192]

This interview is EVERYTHING!!! So raw, honest, authentic and targeted so many deep core issues and challenges in relationships.I could relate to so much of it.I appreciate both of your wisdom and this exchange, I felt it and I'm going to apply it in my life.🙏♥️

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡

[@riversedge69]

I can’t even begin to express how much this video resonated with me. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this that I’ll probably go back and watch it a second time and take notes. 😊 Of course I have heard of Matthew before, but didn’t realize the impact of his words, definitely putting in an order for his book now. I also enjoyed The sound quality and visual quality of your video and the impact that the content provides. It was the first time I have watched your channel and I will definitely subscribe. Thank you so much for sharing..

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@mausammijera]

Thank you so much for making this episode ❤

[@dcooper2664]

@matthewhussey when you were explaining the girl having a hard time expressing herself to her dad relating to a date, it brought to mind my struggles with speaking up.. but I’ve discovered that as I grow older, it’s not even worth speaking up to say anything and instead, just moving on. I’ve grown emotionless

[@Bella.45.2.47]

Then you’ll end up alone

[@tarawiselove]

​@@Bella.45.2.47Best to be helpful, not hurtful

[@lisanathan7336]

These two ❤❤. I’ve been watching Mr Hussey for nearly a decade and the growth in this Man is exponential with the way he connects, leads and inspires. I’m loving this journey with him and his book arrived yesterday. So looking forward to my best cup of Chai Latte and snuggling with my dog for a good read. Wishing whoever is reading this to find the courage and unconditional love within to find the perfect harmonious match for you 💓🙏🏻🎶

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@dalerich6747]

Thank you so much Lewis & Matthew, i really enjoyed this indepth conversation. I've had much work to do on myself & it gave me a chance to re-check so many areas. Much appreciated🙏🏻💖

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for tuning in. 🧡

[@dhadnekarrupali]

Matthew and Lewis ❤️ 2 bros in one frame..., it's so good 👍😊 truly inspiring ❤

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for being here 🧡

[@moonchildmanifest]

I love listening to both of you! The chemistry is natural and subject matter is intriguing! Such a gem convo 💎 thank you 🙏

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@larryaskew2039]

Wow, the camera 📷 quality has drastically improved

[@perfectlyimperfect7373]

Yes! I’m liking his new “basement studio” too.

[@geomarilynjoaquin693]

Wow.. exactly what I needed in this current season.

[@leidysrodriguez4308]

What a magical Podcast🙏Thank you!!

[@mariahhelm5488]

I LOVED this conversation. So many incredible insights, especially from the nervous system level and attracting what may not be familiar. However, I most certainly do not agree with the "find someone who makes you feel like home" mentality for this EXACT reason. Home was chaotic and with too many moments of emotional abuse. I need someone who makes me feel like the OPPOSITE of home. With that said, thank you both so so much for this conversation.

[@lewishowes]

Glad to hear that you loved it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@anyaitsally-yc4qg]

"Yes ", Matthew deserves.

[@jinnywhittingham9645]

Your wives are lucky girls! Both of yours. Hope to meet guys like you

[@jesswatt5824]

My ex actually said out loud that we got along too well and resolved our issues to easily and that he didn't know how to handle our boring, unexciting relationship.

[@MaggieC21]

This is why people who think they want harmonious relationships often don’t…in reality. Their nervous systems are addicted to toxic passion and don’t understand that a relationship with two individuals committed to growth will eventually feel a hell of a lot better than the chronic drama of a heart-tugging, toxic ‘pain to relief’ cycle.

[@jesswatt5824]

@@MaggieC21 Yep. He wasn't ready to take that hard a look at his issues, unfortunately. A lot of lessons learned (the hard way) from that one.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Lol. It's YOUR fault for not injecting occasional drama, uncertainty or a short breakup. She lost her competition anxiety that you can get another check if necessary. You also likely got out of shape. I'm a dude. I know our faults.

[@jesswatt5824]

@@GUITARTIME2024 Well, I am not the dude in this relationship, it was the dude who wanted drama so...

[@myjourney73]

Excellent points discussed.love ur humbleness and sharing ur own responsibility for past issues Thank u both!

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for tuning in 🧡

[@Dinilazar]

Brilliant words Matthew!!! You just spoke about me!!!

[@mariacoreoquila8442]

The two awesome guys who really i love watching ❤keep it up guys.