Love Psychologist: “This Happens JUST Before Heartbreak!” What MRI Scans REVEAL About Breaking Up!

[@lewishowes]

Thanks to Guy Winch for sharing his wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes

[@devorahrose782]

I just finished reading the "Little House on the Prairie" series again as an adult. And this many years of courtship and getting to know one another is exactly how Almonso Wilder and Laura Engles did their friendship,/ courtship. Almonso Wilder waited till he had the money to build a home for her, stocked with flour and sugar and hens etc etc, before he asked her hand in marriage

[@mareninina9412]

Thank you @lewishowes for your sincere story and all the work you put in yourself and that you share it with us. You are eyeopener for me.

[@Rexy366]

, 😮 🎉 🎉 🎉😂🎉🎉😅🎉

[@JamesBarry-j7m]

Thank you for having a gay man on to tell us all about love.

[@Koltink]

O

[@jbthao]

I said this 10 years ago. If they taught us this stuff in school, the majority of us could have put their 20s into something else. One of my favorite episodes thank you. So informative all of it

[@tari-jk6sl]

Watching this episode with tears rolling on my cheeks. It’s a painful truth but I feel like I’m being set free from emotional wounds that I never thought I would heal from.

[@pickupwisdom13]

This is a good one

[@shebasmith3208]

@@tari-jk6slcan you help me move forward please

[@rachelwilson4530]

Yo

[@vkvkvk317]

1:14:05 It always touches my heart the level of vulnerability that Lewis is able to show, and how open he can be about his traumas and personal stories. U are soooo genuine Lewis, never pretending u had a wonderful life from the beginning but showing us how much work and energy u've invested into healing yourself and u still do❤ it is amazing seeing someone who actually walks the walk, we are able to see how much work it takes to be really at peace, cause real transformations take years, not 3 days in a magical retreat. we love u❤

[@pickupwisdom13]

Great point

[@mareninina9412]

❤

[@nessathenessie]

Lewis can you please have Tim Fletcher on your show? He’s an amazing therapist specializing in complex/childhood trauma. It would be great to see him receive more exposure of his incredible work.

[@nenejoy2005]

He is awesome! He has changed my life.

[@77greenmama]

100% agree!! His talks on childhood/family enmeshment forever altered my perception of my “healthy” (from the outside) childhood.

[@bu4459]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@yvonneblake1498]

Agreed!!

[@Maruzzela-l1u]

YES HE IS. He is the first psychologist that i thought he really worths it ,really understands and explains things i dont .it was life changing when i discovered him .he has tons of free material .i binged watched and probably should had gone to the long term program he has maybe i will in the future maybe i m still integrating coz i the suddenly stopped watching but i know he was a milestone a stair up in my life

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

To improve communication with your partner, try to have open and honest conversations, actively listen to each other, and express your feelings and thoughts clearly. It's also essential to be understanding and patient with each other's perspectives. Communication is a two-way street, so make sure both of you feel heard and valued in the relationship.

[@pickupwisdom13]

Communication is key in relationship

[@NavKaur-u3m]

You can communicate all you want but if your partner doesn't understand you, communication is nothing

[@Maruzzela-l1u]

But dont be too honest is what i think .imagine if you say everything that comes to mind assuming the other person understands what you mean...keep in mind they dont always do and even a joke you said might have missed the point

[@Maruzzela-l1u]

​@@NavKaur-u3mright! And that usually means they dont want to understand and avoiding your words but not admitting it or saying out loud

[@pickupwisdom13]

This is a deep reflection about the importance of taking love seriously as a skills that should be learned and practice every single day if you want to experience a long and lasting love with your partner.

[@tari-jk6sl]

Thank you Lewis. Your episodes are life changing. I have been struggling to finding meaning to love after losing my husband to suicide 4 years ago. I’ve been struggling to date because I realised I was constantly anxious attaching to people and ended up with a heart break. I feel empowered now. Thank you. I’m learning to pour into myself now. 🙏

[@chizzyigbokwe2504]

@Lewis Howes at the 15:24 ish mark you talked about the values exercise you did with your now fiancé. Is there somewhere I can find that exercise online? Or someone i can search for online that maybe a good resource for this?

[@helenpadilla7018]

Yes this is awesome information, im not going to have sex before marriage. Because i want to spiritually connect our souls before our bodies touch

[@pegah_on_the_road]

You are absolutely incredible Guy Winch. I have listened to several of your talks many many times and I know them by heart. When you talk, I feel someone who deeply understands me is talking. I am endlessly grateful to you. You are very honest, caring, kind, authentic, and passionate.

[@pickupwisdom13]

His insights are powerful

[@jesswatt5824]

I watched a talk he gave during a break up last year- it took me a few weeks to listen to his advice but once I did he really set me on a path for a LOT of healing (and much more than just a broken heart) over the last year. Which included a lot of School of Greatness, btw. Love this content.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you for watching!

[@jet9784]

I think the attachment to a loved one is a drug. Love just is, in my experience.

[@pickupwisdom13]

This attachment to your love one is not a problem on itself as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

[@sportlams]

find Partner from Dreams by Bruce Thornwood (thank me later)

[@pickupwisdom13]

This is a good one

[@AllinaNegrea13]

Not on audible unfortunately…

[@queenprotein]

Why can’t i find this?

[@tanjaprosenik3813]

Me neither ​@@queenprotein

[@CJMilli]

Spammm!!!

[@SusanSummer]

So to help a heart break by lessening thoughts of the other person, and set new rules for future interactions or actions.

[@Eve90]

Wow, i pray to meet a man with such courage and desire to have a healthy relationship.

[@AngelaAng-nearaquietstream]

YES Great interview. I appreciate and enjoy learning from Guy’s insightful answers. “Anger prevents you from having to deal with the actual feeling.” Like sadness, betrayal, loss, etc. I am familiar with the Feelings Wheel from the practice of Non-Violent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg (also called Compassionate Communication). There is also a Needs Wheel. And Lewis, you DO ask insightful and relevant questions. ❤

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate your feedback, thank you so much for watching!

[@ivylin8103]

omg I like him. I first see him on Ted talk. woah. ❤ thank u For bringing him Lewis and team

[@LCLightworker]

So good. So much authenticity Lewis. Thank you for your brave vulnerability. Great shares and helpful info. 🙏🏽

[@desperate1982]

Love the writing down of the values separately

[@DebbieKant]

Such a fantastic interview! I really needed to hear this today❤️

[@lewishowes]

Means a lot!!! Glad this was helpful for you🧡

[@dr.kathiperry2606]

Yes.. valuable information about relationships and communication

[@mafaldavaldez603]

Another good conversation and reflection as always

[@tuckerlynne]

Love the cement part...so true. Ty

[@nadalia832]

Fantastic and insightful conversation full of addvice and wisdom which should be shared with adults and youngsters (in schools) all over the world!

[@AllinaNegrea13]

Just purchased his book on audible - thanks:)

[@TheJosiejumper]

You have grown so much Lewis you see it through your podcasts you are fantastic at your craft such a nice fella ❤and with your help I have to so thank you x

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you and your support🧡

[@jackiefoster3302]

Thank you! This makes so much sense, I’m excited to do this going forward 🦋🦋

[@galina6707]

Thank you so much, guys, for this wonderful information! 💙😍👏👏

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome,thank you for tuning in 🧡

[@Rain-v8e]

❤ love this guy!! Thank you xo

[@vkvkvk317]

I love his books! Why his name is not in the title of this video?! Many of us type his name on the searcher to find youtube videos where he is in.

[@pickupwisdom13]

This is good question

[@warmwelkom]

Thank you, this is love ❤

[@daxter7913]

At 17 most friends of my generation were out the door learning to make a living in the world

[@Lily-yg4dl]

My goodness, if love is an addiction then we can be addicted to many people with various levels of intensity of addiction. So annoying to know this.

[@sez187]

😂😂👌

[@pickupwisdom13]

Love in itself is not an addiction but as long as it doesn't become an addiction.

[@hmh3808]

“Love” when you are young has so much to do with the hormones and chemicals coursing through you and how subjectively involved with the world you still are (depending on how aware u r of your choices that are built in childhood)… as you get older and can separate that from that pull you feel towards someone else , you are more able to form relationships that are not just feeding into this addiction response of dopamine, serotonin , hormones etc.

[@Maruzzela-l1u]

​@@hmh3808oh i see..you r saying the addiction is due to hormones.but maybe the commentator sees as an addiction love itself because he said...addicted to different ppl with various levels. But i appreciate the distinction you made i ll ponder on that eventhough....when its hormone related you can know bcoz as soon as they go away due to distance you deflate

[@TrentGoss-f3h]

thank you all :> always look forward to seeing this show

[@lewishowes]

That’s so great to hear! Which episode has been your favorite?

[@elarisa10]

Men like you ,are rare!!!!

[@portiamalunga4703]

😢😢😢 this is so deep.. l feel angry and l just connected it to sadness 😔...l have been playing the past in my head

[@laureleepoapst3597]

Fantastic advice!!

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

nothing 'social' about the media. Not 'friends'.....screen contacts. I was against this tech when it came out, amd I wasn't wrong. It also affects way more than Gen Z. I'm affected because even older friends, and I'm 45 -- are addicted. It's awful.

[@viipaa]

May I suggest: Just enjoy the life! Live and let live and be there instead of calculating is it worth to fall in love

[@refreshingtwist]

Unfortunately, this is exactly how some people get into the wrong relationships. For people that want to break this pattern, reflecting and talking about what they want in a relationship is going to be a new and healthy way to move forward. Rather than entering a relationship eyes wide shut.

[@michellekilmer4777]

So i have a question. Many times my emotional and physically abusive ex would say, I need you to change, I need you to do this and it was manipulation. Not a guide book or manual to him as a person. There were many times where I said if you don't like who I am you can leave. I'm not changing. There is the door. I didn't change and am glad. So how does this compare?

[@ginam.4990]

Great show and love the red chairs!

[@lewishowes]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching!

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Now imagine the losses of your job, career, multiple traumas of heavy types at once.....your health your friends, your family, your best friend who was like a lover minus the physical .....and people wonder why I have ptsd, isolated, etc.

[@MArca-hj3xv]

Choose to be good, to feel good, to love yourself, to be thankful despite every adversity. Even when you cry.

[@hmh3808]

Life. All those pains are opportunities for growth and wisdom…

[@jacquelinefedrizzi5532]

Oui 😊!

[@shakilambhojani412]

Awesome 👍

[@LianaSchill-hz9fv]

It is virtually impossible to know what life may throw at you over 10, 20, or 30 years. Imagine a serious illness, a debilitating traffic accident, loss of a child or parent, mental breakdown, loss of a job, etc. Creating a home is like building a nest together. Friendship is an important component of love. We may also be very young when we fall in love, when the world seems simple…..

[@sharonkachel]

Gold 🙏🏼💛thank you

[@michellerichardson7611]

Amazing !

[@Lily-yg4dl]

Looking forward to this

[@successway6789]

To improve communication with your partner, try to have open and honest conversations, actively listen to each other, and express your feelings and thoughts clearly. It's also essential to be understanding and patient with each other's perspectives. Communication is a two-way street, so make sure both of you feel heard and valued in the relationship.

[@JANEYZANEY]

Amazing questions super helpful answers 🙏

[@DJSC5618]

Maybe there are two kinds of love ? THE EARTHLY LOVE ? Or THE ETERNAL LOVE ? Coz I know that earthly love doesn't really last forever. Do you also see this? Or agree?

[@Charity-vm4bt]

Agape love is true love.

[@DJSC5618]

Love , as attracted to , makes you addicted and attached ... Maybe love changes in different ages??

[@ba8946]

Could you please post a sample if a value exercise

[@user-vc1zu1ny1j]

Would have liked to hear more of the guest.

[@sadiekimmer3950]

Have David Richo on his book how to be an adult in relationships

[@Mo-Ha24]

Why is it become hard to find a genuine partnership

[@jillbowden9103]

I think most people are not doing serious inner work on themselves..always desiring to grow and be more authentically themselves..without that drama is going to prevail..so frustrating!

[@travelchannel304]

Men don't always marry "In love" or "for love" do they?

[@ikechicoreralation]

All the things Lewis laid out in his relationship 16:41 😂

[@Michelle-ki9jf]

Hi can you provide timestamps please?

[@zanderhurtado1985]

She KNEW YOUR VALUES because you keep repeating them on the show lol!! She already knew them!! You share everything on here!!

[@shelley-annwalters6788]

@lewishowes Question for you Lewis. While you were dating Martha before the commitment were you being exclusive with her or dating other women too. I am not sure if your commitment was the start of a deeper relationship including sex or it’s where you stopped dating other women. Curious about that important point. And what do you mean by no sex or sexual chemistry clouding your thinking. Did you refrain from kissing and hugging. Or just fourth base sex?

[@sharonbeers4621]

Is Guy Winch married?

[@catloverJ]

Is work addiction?

[@DJSC5618]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

friendships too ...that gave you what you didn't have in childhood and then you're dropped again. Yes. But not just romantic

[@travelchannel304]

Wow!' He's had 3 relationships in 8 yrs!! I've not even been with anyone In 13 yrs. Not even asked out !! Definitelyno sex either! (Once by a client on my massage table asked me out) automatic no!

[@medardoperez23]

If argued with someone ypu don't love or even like a lot, the outcome would he a break up because it would be easy to say more cause there's no attachment.

[@gypsipunk]

Love love, but do not love the man, or you will be in his power.... Good luck. Paola to Veronica from the movie Dangerous Beauty

[@gypsipunk]

Connect but do NOT ATTACH... It is not love that causes pain and shame on you all. It is the breaking of attachment that causes pain ...... The FATHER in heaven is love itself and he hurts none

[@basshunter9018]

timestamps would be very useful!!!!!!!!!!!

[@busybees-x9o]

what if someone don’t want any relationship? But just want some long distance flirting, is it normal?

[@ollehkacb]

Look up attachment styles. There are people who do like long distance but it is unhealthy to a degree.

[@lauraashley1]

Different strokes for different folks

[@craigosterberg5045]

Hi

[@JANEYZANEY]

I went through the same thing, parents splitting later in life, due to religion and for us as their children. Yeah I was angry coz why couldn’t of you guys split ages ago instead of having us trying to mediate you both for years and go through some horrible stuff. :-/ all on the mend from it but it was like coming out of the matrix when they split. Glad they finally did

[@marpen7866]

Can someone please explain what Lewis means when he talks agreements-when he goes to therapy before a relationship starts? Is it an if this happens, then we will deal with it like that? Or this is how I want to live my life (lifestyle, etc) and the partner is like, yes, me too? Or is it all of the above?

[@zjomamma1904]

Yes. All of the above. It's almost like laying down a blueprint to build a mindful relationship. Just like a training, let's say for firefighters. Build muscle memory and effortless action before the event. You don't want to fumble when the house is already burning .

[@OnielMendezIrizarry]

I can't be with the woman of my dreams because of the ophtalmologist

[@naiyalexic]

Love is not alwyas an "addiction." Sorry. I disagree. If you're not self-aware and whole, you'll succumb to this. Yeah, it hurts when someone leaves, but it doesn't have to devastate you like a lack of alcohol when you're an alcoholic. Be whole. Be healed. Be aware. And move on if someone leaves. I loathe generalizations. LOATHE them. There are degrees to everything, and umbrella statements are a spectrum.

[@DJSC5618]

Yes. Agree. But in some people, it is hard for them to move on when they dwell on that so much. Renewing of the mind really helps.

[@irenaoparov5784]

No, question isn't - how to have HAPPY longterm relationship. Or, how to have HAPPY life. Really, you Americans are obsessed with hapiness 😁 and you "infected" whole world with that idea. Question is - how to have MEANINGFUL life, meaningful marriage, meaningful friendship...how to learne from that, how to became mature and better me, achieving deep meaning on all that areas ...

[@DJSC5618]

Yes. Super agree on have to have "meaningful" instead

[@FlatStella1]

Lewis,you did not discover amerika.I coyldnt enter into relationshi without honesty.Wow.Some many people enters froma lis.Cant imagine why people suffer.