Love Yourself - There is Nothing Wrong with You

Hello. Thanks for checking out my KZbin channel.
In my videos, I like to talk about Psychology, Healing Attachment Trauma, Relationship Repair, Inner Child Self-Re-Parenting, Love Addiction, Codependency, Grieving Break Ups, Family Programming, Fantasy Relationships, The Romantic Narrative, Primal Panic, Trauma Bonding, Double-Binds, Attachment Styles, Couples Counseling, Better Boundaries, Shame and Self-love, CPTSD Breakthroughs, Emotional Availability, and Body-Focused Psychotherapy for Healing Trauma..
☑️ Heal Your Relationships = #relationships
☑️ Trust Your Intuition = #selfcare
☑️ Repair w/ Counseling = #psychology
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Alan Robarge, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Attachment-Focused, Trauma-Informed,
Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator
Emotional Connections Matter!
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Love Yourself - There is Nothing Wrong with You
In this video, I talk about how we do not need to continue to collect evidence that proves there is something wrong with us. We can stop treating ourselves like an improvement project.
Questions to answer in the comments section:
What is one thing you learned from listening to this video?
What is one takeaway you can apply to your personal healing process?
Remember to leave a comment. What is your takeaway from this video?
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☑️ Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz:
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☑️ Learn about The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course: www.healingatt...
☑️ Learn about Improve Your Relationships Community:
www.alanrobarg...
☑️ Learn about Grieving and Pet Loss Course: Coming Soon
www.healingatt...
☑️ Learn about Healing Heartbreak Course: Coming Soon
☑️ Learn about my new book: Coming Soon
☑️ Follow me on Instagram:
@alan_robarge_psychotherapist
/ alan_robarge_psychothe...
☑️ Check out my website:
www.alanrobarg...
☑️ Want to learn more about relationships? Then, sign up for the Everyday Relating Questionnaire.
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Love Yourself - There is Nothing Wrong with You

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hello Subscribers: Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing. One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating. Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning! As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on KZbin. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through. I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly. That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on KZbin. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos. If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions ____ Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships. The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met. While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response. Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz ____ I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives. When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work. You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive. Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community ____ Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate ____ Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos. And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!” Best regards, Alan Robarge Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist www.alanrobarge.com/

[@sli711]

This video had me in tears. I have just existed for most of my life, waiting for the day that would finally come when I would be as you put it "healed". Never realizing that I was living out this story that something had to be fixed first before I would be suitable for life. I have read so many self help books, seen therapists and prayed for healing for many years and no one has ever said "there is nothing wrong with you". The tears started flowing and I want to thank you so much for making and sharing this video. God bless you!!

[@loribatchelder9156]

S Ivey YES! I'm right there with you! Until I watched Alan's video, I've felt like a self improvement project for many years especially right now. I've been putting alot of pressure on and shaming myself for where I'm at in life. I need to learn ways of maturing myself from where I'm at in my life right now. Thank you for your comment!

[@belindahorne5970]

Me too. 🙏

[@bellabong8862]

S Ivey: Well said. Same here.

[@OllieSmiless]

Yes! Healing is so glamorized that it almost feels like you're broken without it! Self improvement as well. This was an eye opener!

[@lindakujava7746]

Thank you Alan R You cannot possibly re ealize how much I needed someone to say this to me rt. now. I had to try really hard not to cry so I could hear it all. Im so glad I subscribed to you.

[@rohinimalhotra6931]

You're beautiful Dr Robarge

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Yes I think so too

[@neptunesdreams]

You should put out an app that has only one button, and when we push it, we hear your voice saying "There is nothing wrong with you." You could save the world with that one app, Dr, Roberge! Thank you. I soooo needed to hear this right now. I love all your videos, but this one hit the target.

[@rasmus7400]

lol

[@imwatching2960]

I never thought "being OK with who I am" as my fundamental right 😀 what an amazing idea!!!

[@prorohono]

Thank you Alan you are a beautiful person and your tears are healing. You made me remember that I am worth crying for. Thank you

[@Jen-uf6tp]

I know I’m 6 years late but watching this has given me such a sense of relief and for the first time I think loving myself might be possible. Thank you.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you for letting me know this is helpful and thanks for valuing my work. If this content is helpful then you may also like joining us in the conversations around topics like friending ourselves in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're welcome to join us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@anthonyhurtado7358]

You are awesome....I never cried before or after Iraq...now I can cry....I cry to cleanse my pain. It feels great to release💪

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Oh that is good to hear. I am glad you found resonance with this video. Thank you for the meaningful comment.

[@wholeenchilada3910]

Thank you, Alan! I heard you and I love you. And I love me too -- shame-based thinking and all! You make it so clear that real healing is a matter of self-acceptance, not self-improvement.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you Mike for the kind, friendly message. I like your summary "real healing is a matter of self-acceptance, not self-improvement." I'm glad this video resonates with you.

[@rachelmaxwell5953]

Yes I like your term too, I'm going to copy it out for myself, thank you & bless you! 💞

[@briobarb8525]

Well said too, friend!

[@marie-soleildauphinais9530]

This brought me in tears. I'm feeling so exhausted and desperate because I try so much to heal but, instead I feel worse and worse... This video is the best one I've ever watched. Thank you so much. You are a real blessing. 🙏💗

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Empathy to you. I hear you about the exhaustion. Glad this video is helpful. Thank you for the kind words and for valuing my effort.

[@maribelgiles7298]

I’ve done this cycle and I’m not going to do this anymore! I’m shifting to exceptional self care and acceptance of who I am.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Wonderful. Join us in the community to document your exceptional self-care, share insights, and give and receive support. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@danielanelamaa1861]

This made me cry❤️, I've been ashamed of myself since I was a child

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I hear you and you wouldn't believe how many of us can relate with that. Glad this video was moving for you.

[@Msamm777]

Alan you say things that even with years of therapy I have never heard! I spent so much money trying to boost myself up and all it did was make me feel that I was missing something. If only I did it this way if only I did it that way.... We have this quote at my school “Everything you need to know is within you.” I took that as intuition though now I dare say it is to know me. I felt a feeling of release in my gut and I “heard” for the first time a small faint voice saying “I’m here”. I have been beating myself up most of my life. I too have asked “What is wrong with me?” Today I am giving myself permission to learn from my mistakes and to use my curious mind to start learning what brings me joy instead of how to repair some preconceived brokenness. Bless you Alan your heart comes through your messages so much so that your messages touch my own heart .🤗

[@jenniferyates9642]

This is a million dollar gift!!!. I cried also, it felt like a knife was 'finally' pulled out of my heart. Thank you Alan... OMG THANK YOU !!!!

[@belindahorne5970]

🙏 this is the first time in my life I have heard this.. "honey, there's nothing wrong with you.." finally sinking in.. Thank you.

[@laurieleacobb]

Yet another brilliant video that is healing to my soul. Thank you for all you do, Alan. Your videos, our Facebook group....all of it. You are deeply appreciated.

[@GoBrilliantly]

WHOA! This one should have a big “GOOD FIRST CHOICE!”-banner across the freeze frame. That felt like a baptism in Love. 🙌

[@sacmakiz]

This video what I needed to hear today. Because that's exactly how I have been treating myself lately and it causes more suffering too. Cultivating self compassion and acceptance unconditionally is so important. The moment you wanted to cry in the end is also touched to my wounded self. Thank you for making and sharing ongoing videos on KZbin. I appreciate it very much!

[@00calimon]

Interesting perspective. I had never considered this before. Imagine if you had a child/family member who suffered epileptic seizures, any decent person would never look at them and tell them "there's something wrong with you". Many of us were dealt some unpleasant cards, but it doesn't mean we are any less of a worthy (of love) human being. I'd heard of this in many different ways, but for some reason it never sank in before. Thank you, Alan, for sharing this and making it so much clearer. I can imagine it will be very helpful for me.

[@genemcn3579]

Hi Alan, can you just come over and tell me this on a daily basis? God bless you!

[@marcellaellaella]

Alan, I cannot tell you how much these videos mean to me. I have spent my entire life as a self improvement project - in fact, when I was 10 years old I once created an actual list of things I wanted to change to be more liked and more popular in school. I had a very traumatic childhood and blamed myself forever. I've been in therapy my whole life and right now, in this moment, you are the first person to ever drill down that I am okay exactly as I am. Alan, I know you have saved so many lives literally and figuratively. Thank you so much for embracing your empathy, intelligence, awareness, and exceptional communication skills to deliver your life changing content to the world. It means so much more than you could ever imagine to so many of us 💜

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

wow, thanks for letting me know these videos are helpful for you. Empathy for what you went through. Many of us struggle with this self improvement project perspective. I appreciate the feedback. Thank you for valuing my work. Glad is offers benefit. Also, since the videos are helpful, I want to share about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Friending ourselves is a topic in the Community and it can be helpful learning with others who are also learning. I welcome you joining us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@WhereTheWavesAt]

Wow..that statement "you are not a self improvement project" is everything to me!!! I can't believe I'm 33 years old and only just hearing this.. for the last 10 years I have actively worked to "fix" what's wrong with me, living in the shadow of my childhood trauma and concluding I am just a broken dysfunctional individual who can never be happy until "healed". I put so much pressure on myself, analysing my social behaviour or performance at work or what others think of me it's exhausting. It's so validating to know that I'm not the only one who has been feeling this way and we can retrain our brain differently.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for the meaningful comment and thank you for sharing your experience. Glad this video is helpful. Many of us can relate with seeing ourselves as a self-improvement project. This comes up in our conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're invited to join us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@roelofventer1729]

This episode is SO important. Made me bawl. I am sending you TONS of love.

[@khadijahgumah8417]

Dear Alan, You can not in this life know how much you have helped me. Until I found your channel, my mind was a rick and morty season. I fundamentally believed that I could never be understood, seen, or known. I never knew that anyone could really go into the synthesis of some of my most profoundly deep feelings about myself. You are doing something good in a way that you may never know. But I thank you so dearly for seeing me, for helping me see myself and explaining my pain to me. The smoke screen is clearing and even though that does not instantly cure the ailments of our minds, it sure brings a lot of inner peace. Thank you for your practical strategies and patient analysis. I am super grateful for you. Much loooovee

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Khadijah, Thank you for valuing my material. I’m glad this one resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@lovingme6896]

Also i am christian and i do feel like in church everyone talks about healing and how all these things are wrong with us as people and that has kind of made me even more self conscious always asking god to heal me from social anxiety, depression and pcos and i feel that because i am not healed yet i am in a horrible place stuck in life but now i see that i can be healed and that may not mean getting rid of all of what i think is wrong with me, but getting to a place of acceptance and learning how to deal with what i have as healing.. thank you so much for these videos. They have helped me so much and when you speak i feel as if everything your saying is about me. I am truly blessed to have come across your videos

[@shalinisarkar1611]

Oh ! I became emotional too. There’s so much burden we carry . I have written down some points while u were talking . Will refer to them often . U r lovely so lovely 🙏

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the kind words. Thanks for valuing my work.

[@AnjaKnockKnock]

exactly what I needed right now. Could you please consider making a video on how to LEARN the feeling of belonging or how to recognize it? How to LEARN to be OK with the feeling of someone caring about you? For those of neglect and abandonment, such a feeling is completely unfamiliar so we run away from it. I don't want to feel ashamed, but I do think that I absolutely need to get comfortable with those feelings but I don't know how. Would HUGELY appreciate your insight.

[@strohberg]

I actually found this video because I have recently come to the same conclusion and am looking to reinforce it with anyone else out there who can confirm this realization. It is actually what buddhists and other eastern religions are teaching. It's absolutely true what you say. I've finally given up on looking for all the reasons and proof why I'm not worthy of love and what all is wrong with me. Instead I look for all the proof that defies these ridiculous beliefs. Thank you for your wisdom. Namaste.

[@astrocatcity]

You sir, are a gift to humanity. (I started crying just before you did)

[@cornflower9258]

Dude....you have no idea what a God send you are. this is the most aweosme dialogue and im subscribing right now. thank u for saying things that i feel but dont have the words to articulate

[@lynnkeever9010]

You are the BEST, Alan! There's so much more I want to say...but it's nearly 2 AM and I need my rest. I can't get enough of the voice you offer to any kind of human suffering. And while I might agree with a previous comment that you "should write a book" your personal delivery via these KZbin videos has resonated on a level that none of the other channels have achieved. You've hit every nerve...and assured me I'm OK. Thank you, kind sir. KNOW THAT YOU ARE APPRECIATED! Until next time... goodnight.

[@denisedejose718]

What a sweet message! I spent many years "working" on myself and was filled with self- loathing. Luckily, I discovered meditation and am learning to observe myself with curiosity. It has made such a difference in my life and I experience so much more joy now. Thank you for all your videos .

[@PerrySkyePhoenix]

Wow. I needed this today. Edit: I tell myself I'm broken and I can't be fixed. I tell myself that I'm not worthy of having a healthy, reciprocal relationship until I'm "healed." I always seem to want the ones who don't want me.

[@angelaroberts2882]

The world needs more humans like this I’m the world!❤️❤️

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the feedback. Glad this content spoke to you. thanks for commenting. There are more humans like this in the world! If you haven't already heard about it you may also like the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community I welcome you joining us as a member.

[@kezzokav5905]

When Alan started to cry, I burst into tears!

[@platome4795]

You are healing me, Alan. You are healing me. Thank you!!! Thank you, Sir. Cry your tears. Cry all of ou tears! Beautiful soul.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Plato, Thank you for valuing my material. I’m glad this one resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@gamayun1224]

Wow, SO timely. I JUST got back from a doctor visit dealing with issues brought about by my own behaviors... I cried at the doc's (something I always avoid doing) and said to her that I'm too old to be dealing with something like this, I should know better by now, etc... When I left her office, I thought, why the hell did I say those cruel things about myself. I'm just a person living my life. Period. Yes, I need not make those same mistakes that led to my health issues, and I will try my best not to. But even if I do make those mistakes again - I'm still just a person living my life the best I know how.

[@FindingYourSerenity]

I am always searching for what is wrong with me. I have ADHD and that is diagnosed. But I grew up with a narcissistic mother who made me believe that I was broken. This recent realisation has stopped me from constantly looking up what is wrong with me on Google. At school I was super quiet and I told myself no one liked me when really I was just quiet and shy and I was embarassed just to exist amongst other people. It's horrible to think about. I overthink and I see the patterns you explain in me. Last year I convinced myself I was autistic but thankfully my partner made me realise that I am not before spending a lot of money on a diagnosis. Thank you thank you thank you! I am subscribing for more videos like this.

[@MikeJackson690]

I have been frantically questioning and shaming myself for 9 months. I have been trying to work out what's 'wrong' with me and how to be a 'better' person after a 5-year relationship with a lovely woman didn't work. I keep blaming myself for everything when she already said 'it takes two to tango' and we stopped a couple of years ago. What I'm saying is, thank you for this. I'm a kind, loving and formerly ambitious man. Someone will be very lucky one day to have me. I must believe that.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

General, Learning to stop blame ourselves is an important skill to have in our healing process. Practicing these skills is essential to learning new behaviors and having new experiences. Getting support from others who are learning as well is very helpful for many people. That is one of the reasons I created the Improve your Relationships online community. It is not a therapy group, but a skills learning community which many people find very helpful as an adjunct to therapy. I am glad that you are doing your healing work and find this material helpful on your journey. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@valclub479]

Thank you thank you thank you. Ill listen over and over. Thank you for your emotion. It was such significant reflection of how I should feel about myself. If I saw someone whipping themselves with a whip until their back was hamburger and they would not give me the whip to stop because they are ashamed of who they are for no good reason, it would make me cry. Yet its what I do emotionally every day to myself. Your response was like an intercession from an angel and tears from god. Thank you for your heart

[@briobarb8525]

Wow...beautiful but sad point.

[@sarahswan8498]

This is me, it’s hard to stop. I’ve been hard on myself all my life, but I feel like I am finally trying to stop these types of actions.

[@clairlovely128]

Sir... I feel like you’re talking directly to me. Thank you sooooo much for reminding me that I’m doing okay. I’m ready to heal.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Clair, I'm glad to hear that this video was helpful for you. Good for you for seeking out healing. If you would like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the links below: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again for letting me know the video was helpful.

[@OllieSmiless]

"Self improvement project" - that hit hard! Thank you!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

thanks for the feedback. Yes, it is a hard realization. Many of us get caught up in this thinking. Glad this video spoke to you. If you like this video then you may also want to check out The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz

[@pavlin8584]

You published this video 5 years ago. Pity I found it only today. This video is just priceless. Many thanks.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for the kind words. Glad you are finding benefit. And thanks for valuing my work. If you like this content then you may also like joining us in the Improve Your Relationships Community Program: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@mitch4076]

This episode made me cry in a positive way!!! I received your light Sir Alan!!!! I THANK YOU!!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

You are so welcome! Glad to hear this was moving for you. Appreciate the comment. Also, since you like this video, I want to share about the Improve Your Relationships Community Program. Loving ourselves is a topic that comes up in conversations. I welcome you joining us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@MijoShrek]

This one of the greatest most profound human videos on here thank you brother

[@MissBluebirddays]

Aww Alan, thank you for your authenticity and providing us with this amazing content. You're a beautiful human ❤

[@SarahFrom5to7]

Been in the most awful place - full of self-hatred and self loathing but watching a few of these videos has given me some peace of mind for the first time in years. Just the most amazing man

[@lamaelcharif1523]

Thank you Alan! It's you who is lovely!

[@nephthaliecareen3242]

ALANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! This was so permission giving and showed so much grace to those of living in Shame! You’re such a beautiful spirit. Thank you for this.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

This is nice, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad this was helpful for you. Thank you for valuing my work and efforts to offer this content.

[@shahrzadkhosravi]

I am a new therapist and I truly wish I could be around you and learn from you, I think whatever you have been through somehow made it so valuable to be around you, Love and respect to you.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Shahrzad, I am glad this material resonate with you. If you would like to deepen your understanding of attachment distress, please consider entering the conversation in the online membership community I started. You are invited to join other like-minded learners who value mapping out a plan of self-directed healing and want to share their insights with others. We are a kind, supportive group of folks committed to changing old patterns of relating. Please know you are welcome to be part of the community. You can learn more and register here: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@pamelabrown7368]

" This little light of mine. I'm gonna' let it shine" 😂🎵 Thank you for reminding me 1❤

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

You're welcome.

[@danabenrealtygroup6004]

I so appreciate you more than you now Alan. You are REAL and get to the heart of the matter. I so so appreciate you and your wonderful community. Yes, I am hard on myself and I cannot tell you how many times I've said...'there is something wrong with me'. I listened all the way through and saved this video to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me. Thank you for looking at us and saying: you're lovely. I see my goodness, but in relationships I feel like I'm always doing something wrong. That's when I say: there is something wrong with me. Love you so much, thank you for all you do and for you amazing videos.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Hi Dana, thank you for this lovely comment. I appreciate your feedback and reflection here. So glad the content and community are helpful for you. Thanks for commenting.

[@danabenrealtygroup6004]

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma when I tell you YOU ARE making A HUGE difference in my life, inside and outside the community, I truly mean it. I have been through therapy since I was 15 years old and no one has been as creative as you are in communication to express what is going on. You are the first therapist to enlighten me about attachment trauma. A lightbulb went off when I listened to you, which is why I signed up for the community. One of my favorite videos is: 'He/She is not going to change. Wake UP! I laughed and laughed because it was like you were speaking directly to ME. I have put it on repeat many times and seen in my experience that it's so true. Thank you so so much for your time and working to help others in this world. Have a wonderful day.

[@susanmarion5669]

Thank you Alan!! I needed to hear this. Had me crying like a baby!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Glad it resonates with you Susan.

[@KarmasAbutch]

9:02 that moment when you hear your own awesome message to others and apply it to yourself real quick by accident... so sweet, bless! 💝🌈🦄

[@mariacabral8271]

It is most beautiful "no", I ever heard! Thanks for your words. Your are kind with people like me, that always believe that I'm not worthy.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for watching. Many of us can relate to that same feeling, and it can be overwhelming sometimes. That's why I decided to create my online Community, Improve Your Relationships. It is not a therapy group, but a skills learning community full of support, encouragement, growth, and healing. We discuss topics like this and so much more. You're not alone. Learn more here: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@sittowardi6781]

I love this angel named Alan Robards.

[@roodhaabr6945]

before i listen to this, i wanted just to say, i'm glad i found you here dr. Rabarge your way of explaining things makes me make peace with the world

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Roodha, thank you for the kind feedback. I feel more of us need to know our own inner goodness. I'm glad to hear you receive benefit from my work. Please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution, checking out my course, and/or joining us in the Community. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality content. Click on the links to learn more: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community unity, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again for letting me know the video was helpful.

[@johnf6267]

I love this man. Genius way to present. So genuine. So remarkably helpful.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for all the supportive comments. I am glad to hear you receive benefit from my work. If you would like to become a sustaining supporter and invest in my efforts to offer quality content and also for the creation of new, future videos, please check out the donation options. Glad you find the video helpful. www.alanrobarge.com/donate

[@josephstroud7269]

I really needed to hear this today. Thank you🥲

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Joseph, I am glad to hear that. Glad this video was helpful. Please share this video to friends and others who might also near to hear this message. Thanks for your comment.

[@icequeen5551]

Wow Doctor Alan you are such a beautiful human being and whoever gets to have you in their life as their husband/parent/friend... is one lucky bastard. Lots and lots of love to you,you wonderful human being💓

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Ice Queen, Thanks for those kind words.I’m glad this material resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@universalonecafe108]

Alan, you are such a a kind, brilliant man. Thank you for the work and information you share so freely. You are a beautiful empath. GOD bless you. ❤

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the kind words and thank you for valuing my effort. Glad my work brings benefit. If you value this content then please consider becoming a sustaining supporter by joining us in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Learn more by taking the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

[@universalonecafe108]

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma thank you for sharing the link! I will!

[@roxydina7615]

You are a beautiful man. Thank you for giving yourself to help others

[@lisadiaz9665]

Your raw emotion hit me square in the chest. 😢❤

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for letting me know you deeply resonated with this one. Appreciate the feedback. Please also share this video with others who may like it.

[@madi_E]

THIS made me sob in tears, when you said no you are lovely i burst in tears, thank you , i love you

[@NinjaOutfitInTheWash]

I’m so glad I found your channel.

[@annm.4353]

I cried too. Your tears mean you truly care, and we all appreciate it more than you know.

[@andeeanko7079]

Such loving compassion, thank you so much for your passion.

[@katrinat.3032]

This video is a mood elevator. I loved when you cried. Thank you for caring about us. PS I love that you do your videos without reading a teleprompter. It's all from the heart ❤️

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Kathryn, thanks for valuing my content and letting me know how impactful it is for you. I am so glad to hear you get benefit from my work. Please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a contribution and/or joining us in the community. Supporting content creation makes it possible for future high quality content to be added to my channel. You can also check out the community and getting in on our great conversations. Thanks again for letting me know the videos are helpful. Here are the URL's to learn more: www.alanrobarge.com/donate and for the community Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@jencollings6065]

Wow. Thank you. I’ve been doing my self improvement project for years. Every time a relationship ends, I go back to the drawing board because I *must* have missed something somewhere.

[@fr3nzy1337]

I sobbed like never before the entire video.

[@allkindsamusicchick]

That's It!!! I'm subscribing! I LOVE your style. Thanks, Alan!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for subscribing. I'm glad to hear you like my videos. We explore these topics in depth in the learning community I created, Improve Your Relationships. Members report learning quickly through all the shared conversations. You're invited to check it out: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@sakesenpai]

You’re doing amazing Alan, thank you! I’m not going to treat myself like a broken toy or project. I’m allowed to be imperfect

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for feedback and valuing my work. These are great affirmations. We can never have enough conversations about allowing in kindness for ourselves. If you are not subscribed to the channel, please do. Also let your friends know about this video. Thanks.

[@LeonidSpartanKing]

You just put in words what a lot of people cant do .. good job

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you, I'm happy that this video resonated with you. So many people experience these same feelings, and we deserve to heal from this. If you liked this video, you might also enjoy my course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. You can learn more by taking the quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz

[@hightechpickers4365]

you had me in tears too...because my mother used to belittle me all my life and tell me i need to be fixed . She always tried to make me feel like everybody else is normal except me. Now, i understand that whatever she said to belittle me was a reflection of her suffering and insecurities ; and that it never had anything to do with me. I had been perfectly fine all along. But for many years i believed there was something deeply wrong with me and that affected all parts of my life.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

your story brings up empathy. That sounds painful. I can understand these experiences. I'm reminded how important it is to keep talking about our core beliefs. Glad this video spoke to you. Thanks for the comment.

[@itspossible9928]

This video is gold😙

[@SethPerler]

Thank you for being a man who has the courage to emote, you don't see that very often and I have a great deal of respect for that vulnerability and openness.

[@krish.5823]

Your a genuine, sincere, person.

[@danbourdon2201]

I was tearing up listening as well Alan. Thanks fo your work.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thanks for letting me know this was so moving for you. And thanks for valuing my work. This topic comes up in our conversations regularly in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're welcome to join us. Click here to learn more: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@yash2292]

When we think we are not ok or not good enough. We are telling ourselves a story based on our experiences. Disbelieving this story is a key to unconditional personal acceptance.

[@glimmers4449]

I know this is older, but I'm saying thank you, so much. You are lovely, too. Keeping this is my favorites to play often.💚🌿🌠

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Brigid, thank you for your kind comment.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.❤

[@kimberlymccracken747]

I started to cry JUST before you did. Big hugs sweetheart. I am watching comedy and laughing again. (That's a good sign.) Thank you. I quite recently nearly shouted at my Mother "There's nothing WRONT with me!" From a VERY young age I received that message. Was reading Psychology Toady at 10 or 12 years old. Because my Mom couldn't comfort, nurture, encourage, play, she psychoanalyzed her kids. I am O.K. and, in fact, better than most because my heart is good. Just because those around me find it difficult to love does NOT mean there is something wrong with ME!

[@katherinedamico4837]

I just want to thank you for your vulnerability and love and that I truly just love you in all dimensions of time.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my work and for the compliments. Many of us can relate to struggling letting self-love in. I like to say, "Your healing is my healing. We all benefit." Oftentimes when attachment distress gets triggered we have trouble allowing this positive self-regard in. You might be interested in checking out The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Also, check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@oumaimaoumaima3239]

came because of Sia 😭💗 thank you so much . i love you Sia . i needed this .

[@liliafurler7888]

oumaima oumaima same

[@Laura-gu2tj]

this is a gold mine of a channel ~ thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my work. I am glad to hear you receive benefit from my work. Please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution, checking out my course, and/or joining us in the Community. Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality content. Click on the links to learn more: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again for letting me know the videos are helpful.

[@laurenrogers2861]

This video was so incredibly helpful for me, I felt it healing pain I have carried for years. Thank you so much for the work you do it is needed. I wish you well. :)

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for valuing my content Lauren. Good to know the videos and posts are helpful. I am glad you benefit from the effort and time investment it takes to offer quality content. Please consider joining us in the membership community to show your support and/or becoming a sustaining supporter with a donation. Making a contribution supports the continuation of more quality content. FYI/ www.alanrobarge.com/community and/or www.alanrobarge.com/donate

[@johncath410]

One foot in front of the other... there is nothing wrong with you... freedom from the burden... Very hopeful and powerful messages. Thanks a lot. And Your video really was helpful.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the kind words. Glad this is helpful. Thanks for valuing the work that evolves out of the Improve Your Relationships Community Program discussions. I welcome you joining us: www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@deelot1]

God bless you Alan! I'm glad I subscribed to your channel and wish you success with it. Your videos are so informative and relatable and I like the fact there's no jargon either.

[@DavidSmith-my1gv]

A beautiful human ..... Thank you Mate 🙏❤️

[@rebeccajones8628]

"You are a lovely human being". The nicest thing I've heard in a while. Thank you Dr. Robarge.

[@2WOKE-]

You are a true gift Alan. Connect with you far more than any other on YT. Have watched so many hrs of content & have helped me through more than you know. Thank you for being you, that vulnerable emotionally intelligent, kind hearted you. You're a true gift, & you're loved by us

[@DavidSmith-my1gv]

You are a beautiful human being and a inspiration. Thank you for being you. 🙏

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

David, thank you for the kind and supportive comment. I am glad to hear that my work is inspiring for you. If you'd like to learn how to engage more or support the continuation of my videos check out the options below: Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz Check out the Community, Improve Your Relationships www.alanrobarge.com/community Make a direct donation www.alanrobarge.com/donate Thanks again.

[@TA-ng6qc]

Thank you for making this video. I was crying while listening.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for the comment. Glad to hear this is moving for me. If you like this content then you may also like joining us in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Loving ourselves is a major topic in the Community. I welcome you joining us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@maria_7792]

I have been studying self-help for two years (every day). A lot of it really helped me heal! But I am at that place right now where I can say; I was lovable the whole time And I am lovable and enough right Now! And I can thank my cat too. He was sick and the vet told us that it is not treatable; then time goes, i take him to the doctor, who said; He is healthy! Nothing is wrong with him. :D Thank You Alan for making these videos

[@ednita0711]

Currently going through the hurt of a break up and this video brought me to tears as well! Thank you! I needed this today!!

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Empathy to you. Thank you for letting me know this video was helpful. If this content is beneficial for you then you may also be interested in checking out the Improve Your Relationships Community where members seek out learning about healing. The community is based on Self-Directed Healing which means you create your own healing plans. You get to pick and choose what is important for you to focus on. Members have reported feeling supported by sharing their healing processes with each other. Getting support from others who are also learning can be very helpful. Consider joining us in the conversations. Check out the Improve Your Relationships Community. www.alanrobarge.com/community

[@melawieeinapfel8594]

Thank you so MUCH!!! I bursting in tears it touches me so much

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Thank you for letting me know you deeply connected with this. And thanks for valuing my work.

[@Princess06j]

I agree with you on everything you say. However I disagree with 1 thing, there are people who are fundamentally bad, ugly and mean. Love you Alan, you are a beautiful person.

[@TheAnimeist]

Alan, You nailed it: Accept who you are, Live your Life, Find a New Skill.

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

Nice summary. Glad you like this one. Thanks for feedback.

[@Asher22222]

So amazing! What a beautiful gift you’ve given me today. From the bottom of my heart, I’m grateful. ❤

[@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma]

I appreciate the kind words. Glad to hear this video spoke to you. You're also invited to join us in our conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. www.alanrobarge.com/community