Low Self esteem can destroy your marriage

If you have low self-worth it is crucial that you heal that wounded part of you. The wounds will keep showing up in different ways if you do not work on this part of yourself. You may feel unworthy, inadequate, unimportant and flawed. These feelings may be triggered by something your partner says or does.
You do not feel any better if you have a big house, flash car and a great job. You cannot hide from low self-worth; it is the picture you have of yourself.
A valid sense of self-worth is necessary in order to attain love, peace, joy, power and a sound mind. It is up to you to actively realise and conquer all that holds you back so you can recognise this. Gaining insight as to why you feel, talk to yourself and think the way you do is fundamental in claiming your self-worth.
How Do You Experience Low Self-Worth in your Marriage?
Low self-worth is experienced differently for each one of us. Feelings such as shame, guilt, empty, embarrassment, feeling like you don't belong, you feel different.
Here are some examples of what a person with low self-worth may think and say:
• I am not optimistic.
• I do not deserve the best that life has to offer.
• It’s not okay to make mistakes.
• My world is not a beautiful place.
• I cannot say ‘no’ when I want to.
• I am bad at making decisions.
For each of these examples there are underlying beliefs, which are self-sabotaging and bring stress and unhappiness personally and into your marriage. When you live your life through these beliefs you limit yourself and are not able to live the fantastic life and marriage that was intended for you.
Making a Change
You have to make a choice to turn your thoughts around and stop rejecting yourself. Your thinking creates your reality. Keep thinking negative thoughts and you will continue to feel negative. The self-worth examples above can be turned around in the following way:
• I am optimistic.
• I deserve the best that life has to offer.
• It’s okay to make mistakes.
• My world is a beautiful place.
• I can say ‘no’ when I want to.
• I am good at making decisions.
It’s taken a lifetime to build a negative self-image, so you can expect it to take time to replace it with a positive one. Working with a therapist will help you fill more esteem faster which will ripple thru to your marriage.
A person with high self-worth…
o Knows they are valuable, useful and of value.
o Can easily give and receive, knowing they are a worthy person.
o Makes the best use of their time achieving what is important to them.
o Is expressive, imaginative and able to take risks.
o Is hopeful and positive in life and sees the best in situations.
o Has influence and is able to skilfully support and guide others.
o Is inwardly strong and self-empowered.
o Is authentic, real and genuine.
o Takes total responsibility for their life.
o Asks what they can learn from challenging situations
o Asks how they can do better.
o Has the tools to support them through adversity.
o Trusts in their own ability.
o Is enthusiastic and enjoys life.
o Sees life as a venture worth undertaking.
o Never doubts themselves for a moment.
o Is excited by their capabilities and possibilities for the future.
o Listens to her dreams and allows them to awaken into reality.
o Enjoys a purpose-filled life with goals.
o Knows how to create a life that is balanced.
Tools: For Building Self-Esteem and Empowerment
1. Creative Visualisation
Creative visualisation is a process that can replace your negative beliefs with positive ones. The goal is to prevent new negative thoughts from entering the subconscious, while removing the ones already present. Creative visualisation takes time and the key is to stay consistent with the practice.
2. Notice your negative thinking
If you can identify unhelpful thoughts, you have the option of being able to change them. Learn to identify the thoughts that contribute to your negativity and low self-worth. Once you become aware of those thoughts you can challenge them and start to develop new ones.
3. Use your imagination
Consistently imagining yourself as you want to be will create a new ‘truth’ in your subconscious. As your mind replaces the negative with the positive, you will begin to see the shift in yourself. A new, more confident you will emerge, giving you the courage to succeed at whatever you desire.
4. Praise yourself
Praise, encourage and build yourself up with your thoughts and words. Treat yourself in a kind way filled with support and encouragement. Accept situations for what they are and find what you can learn from them. For example, say to yourself: “I did really well. Good for me.” The more you do this the more you will want to. Just begin, it is a choice.
To have an empowered marriage it’s for both people to make it a priority and put in the energy and time needed. Knowing who you are, valuing yourself and loving yourself unconditionally will ripple thru to you be fully open and loving your partner more richly and openly.

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Low self esteem is also caused by people who done negative generalizations or false allegations on you. All because they had bad experiences with their own people.