Don't Be Afraid Of Losing Them, Be Afraid Of Losing Yourself

[@daniellaaas]

“I never lack I just transition” I love this.

[@christinewxh]

From sobbing an hour ago to finally feeling a bit okay now after watching this is insane. Lumma u never lack. Perfect timing.

[@avry5101]

It is crazy how much these videos help me. My girlfriend of 2 years left me and she was amazing through the relationship but she lost herself in it so she decided to leave and I kept trying to figure out what I could’ve done and how I could get her back but I kind of found out I lost myself too through this. All of your videos really help me personally

[@msbeatnikz]

“I don’t want that average energy.” Ooh, girl, yessssssss! Yes yes yes! You are my girlllllllll.

[@kingbiebs175]

i remember when you cried about your ex, but now you are glowing :) learned your mistakes and etc, i wish i can get to this phase as soon as possible

[@happycreature3993]

how are you right now? I'm on my 5th months and i still feel the pain

[@revir3111]

@@happycreature3993just put urself first and don’t waste ur time on him, ik its hard but it is better than feeling the pain

[@lukeclements6177]

This pep talk hit like nothing ever has. I’m currently in a relationship where I’m struggling to figure out if she is attracted to me. a problem I’m realising now is that I feel like I’ve become too consumed in her behaviour in general and especially towards me. We hang out a lot and I’ve become too “attached” and “dependant” on her, almost as if I need a daily dosage of her. I feel like I’m starting to crave her in the wrong ways and my mental health has taken a toll. I’ve definitely lost myself… in terms of motivation and being the self I want to be and I think it’s due to me focusing to much on what I’d hope she could be (for me). What do you think I should do Luna?!

[@fembot521]

I have been there!! Take a step back and put yourself first. What you’re describing is a type of codependency where you need the other person to validate you. I’ve messed up some relationships by being this way!

[@osjosipajurjastrossmayera2010]

You have never found yourself. Because you would never be in that position now. So you must focus on yourself first. But you can do it only if you cut off contacts and put yourself in a isolation mode. Sounds brutal, but healing in isolation is every man should do (before relationship, marriage, etc.)

[@natashachisenga9524]

I once experience this for 2 years with a guy I was madly in love but he never did it was like a situationship type what helped me was to leave him I shifted and 8 months without talking to him after that i stopped been crazy about for now I just laugh when I see him😅

[@diior444]

SAMS but with him😊

[@Estherchow0]

Love yourself first and stay away from a toxic relationship even if it’s hard

[@marlaesquivel324]

I'm in week 1 of going through a breakup. This may sound cliche but I thought he was the one. He was sweet, a provider, didn't do anything wrong but it came to a point where we stopped "communicating" anymore and became uninterested with each other's business. I still love him and I know he does, too, but right now I only want healing for the both of us and we may find our happiness even if that means we can't be together anymore. Your videos are helping me since day 1! I feel like I am in a video call with a friend. I always feel better video after video. Thank you for this, Lumma! You are helping MANY people go through their lives. Cheers!

[@samex8275]

Girl I’m going through this too. But my ex is more insecure about himself. And the lack of communication and other things, he thinks he does not deserve love and that he hurt me a lot (he did by breaking up with me instead of putting in effort for the relationship) and thinks that I hate him, which I don’t. I thought that he was the one also because of the great things he did for me and never got upset with me and accepted me for who I am flaws and all. It’s been two months since the breakup and I still am trying to get back on the road.

[@diior444]

Wow this gives me hope as I’m thinking of stepping back from my relationship right now.

[@user43817]

@@samex8275 i hope your doing better ❤ i broke up with my bf tonight and it was a really hard decision to come too but he would say he wanted to change but he never did and didn’t know how to communicate to me properly so i couldn’t emotionally handle it anymore. i still love him and i know he feels the same way and it’s hard because we are each other’s first serious relationship but i know it’s for the better cause we were hurting each other

[@Zach_Henderson]

ive been struggling for 4 months to get over my ex who absolutely destroyed me, new year and i just found ur chanel. thank you so much youtube algorithm, and thank you Lumma all your videos really help

[@camibus-oq1iy]

are you doing any better since posting this comment ?

[@Zach_Henderson]

much thank you. its gotten alot better :)@@camibus-oq1iy

[@katherinekacarab3357]

I’m about a month in. I just want the sick feeling to go away.

[@Djjdhbdu737]

It’s so true that losing yourself is more scary than losing someone, yet it’s something a lot of people tend to forget. They get blinded when they in love and end up losing themselves, but at the end of the day nobody else can make us happy the way ourselves can. We’re individual people even in relationships and we should try everything we want in life and chase our own dreams even if it doesn’t involve our partner sometimes and it’s healthy. Thank you for an amazing video as always Lumma, supporting you from japan! ❤

[@inaliz22]

In the end make yourself a priority trying to change people is a waste of time, once you shift your focus on you and value your own opinion, you start to love yourself more. Things like working out by yourself and self-care make you realize that you shouldn't settle for less. Controlling things will only work you out.

[@mitham.p.4362]

THE TIMING OF THIS VIDEO IS JUST!!!! Thank you Lumma for helping me through one of my biggest fear. I've always been scared of loosing friends. All those 'what ifs' always drained my whole energy. But this video just gave me so much confidence in being with myself

[@vchell]

excactly

[@korra1223]

Thanks for this video. It’s crazy, my ex broke up with me while I was on a trip with friends. Felt guilted into doing things on my own. Crazy we lived together and were together for 6 years. He is now dating his roommate lol. I love this video, to continue to grow oneself and want to do better whether or not the person wants to. I think I definitely lost myself in that relationship. Crazy to be out of it but hopeful for my next relationship

[@dorothytran2926]

So inspiring. Really needed this today. The part about anxious attachment style and worrying about when your partner will leave you really got me. When you say you'll do something, do it and don't let this fear of how others perceive you affect that.

[@noah1502]

i took on so much blame during the break up, and to be honest it wasnt completelty fair. we both made mistakes, we both failed each other at times. but i cant stop telling myself its all my fault and i could have changed it if he let me. and its tearing me down. im becoming quieter, more scared, worried that everyone im interacting with are thinking the same things about me that he does. its making me small and making me hate myself. i can grow and learn from the few mistakes i did make, but i am not wrong or bad as a person.

[@DenniseAguilar-kn6gy]

Every time I watch you, I find my purpose. I am so grateful for you, Lumma. your existence in this world makes it a better place. We love you so much!

[@tshegofatsoramorula5226]

You look so amazing! I just watched your video crying over a breakup and the transition and transformation 👏👏👏!!!

[@DavidMatheus27]

Pep talks at this moment in my life, are one of the best things to remind me to stay high value, never have I been so okay with myself in my life! Thanks Lumma 🦋

[@brusselsewafel]

This video helped me so much to get over fantasying and trying to control a situation ab a guy I’ve met in France that I’ll never see again. The way we met seemed so romantic so it was hard to think rationally ab the whole situation, so thanks sm for your video!!

[@verondyiii]

I used to be like you, and now I'm just so lost and sad. ( like real sad depressed sht} but dang you help me feel so grateful with life. watching youu empowers me. thanks for existing luma. I wish you're my neighbor and we can just do each other's hair while drinking iced coffee. lav ya girl

[@selorin]

I am going to write one of my memory. When I was going to middle school, my dad was driving us to my school with my friend, and I couldn’t sit on the front seat because I thought sitting on the front seats means embarrassing to my friend. I can’t even now respect to myself or to things that I have. I always escape from invisible spot lights. I pretend like the good things that I have they don’t exist for do not make my friends embarrassed or sad. While I speaking to myself I respect to my future goals or to my dreams ,but when I talk to my any of friends I don’t care of dreams . I am sick of it. I need your help. If you make video about it I will appreciate it. You save my life several times. Love you babe ❤ (If I did any grammar or vocabulary mistakes I am sorry. English is not my native language.)

[@rosebud-hg7gl]

Guuuuurl loving this energy!!!! Yes 🙌🏼 respect is so huge. I had to cut ties. It was a toxic and abusive. I love him but i couldn’t allow it in my life anymore. It took me a bit but I got it together and blocked him. Im focusing on my goal and I want to travel ✈️ so im spending my time in school, fixing my finances, focusing on my family and my close friends. I don’t lack I transition 🔥 👏 ❤ I love it 💕

[@AskPhoebe]

I have been following you for a year or more and I don’t think I’ll ever leave your channel! You are so inspirational and gorg. Keep inspiring people!

[@nourreguieg]

can u talk about love from one sided and how to move on in ur next videos and thank you girl your such a health healing keep going

[@kristine3752]

So proud of you starting a podcast ❤ love you

[@Lonelyisthemews]

Thank you so much lumma! I lost 2 friends this week. So this came at the right time

[@ivonnesosa864]

I like anime but I don't say anything abt it due to the fact my friends don't know much abt it. I also feel excluded and I realize that I've been trying to control that. I've been trying to push myself to be open even though I don't like talking that much and I only did that to be included I realize I tried to control the way they act and the way I act when I know that's not who I am. And I realize that maybe I should look for people who actually understand me and take the time to actually get to know me. I realize that I've been changing myself when I know that that's not who I am. I realize that I should stop doing that. Thank you lumma azi for this talk, it really helped me realize that I've been changing myself when I shouldn't be doing that. Thank you :)

[@oceanelanteigne8601]

What are you talking about, Mama Odie is GIVING 🌸💯 But seriously, thanks for your pep talks, they’re helping me like crazy! The man I thought was the love of my life dumped me close to one year ago and I’ve lost myself completely for like eight months. Now, I feel like I’m finally starting to heal, and part of that is because of you. Just this morning, I had a horrible nightmare about rejection from my ex and I didn’t feel like getting up. But I was like "Lumma wouldn't approve that", so I watched this video and had the courage to go get a Chatime (strawberry milk tea with strawberry poppings, love it) and I had a great day. So for that, thank you so much ❤ Sending you love from the atlantics in Canada!

[@koramust73]

❤you’re awesome educate our girls please , they need to think about their lives more than being around freaking men! I wish you the best

[@fembot521]

I loved the part about relationship anxiety and the need to control. Please talk more on that!!

[@masoomakhambati976]

The timing of the video!!! You're such an inspiration, Lumma! x

[@ellai_matienzo]

the timing of this video is everything! i had the worst breakup last year and lost a lot of friends that no longer help me grow but i’ve been happier now because i met the people who are meant for me. finding yourself and knowing where you truly belong will really help you in the long run!

[@studyvenomz]

Lumma you're pep talk are really equal to therapy 💕! I love you so much!!!from India 💜🇮🇳

[@sandydianabang]

You ate with this one babe💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶🏻🥹

[@jenniferincer5007]

She is giving all the vibes . Oh my god! I can’t get enough of these videos. Love love love the energy

[@deebree1102]

LUMMA'S PODCAST??? YEEEEEES!!! I WOULD LOVE TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK FOR HOURS, PLSSS HUHU SENDING YOU ALL THE LOVE, PRETTY 🫶

[@juliana2379.]

Wait stop this video was so good as if you didn’t have notes

[@shawn6138]

I love your energy in this video. Also, I love the way you can talk about serious topics and still be hilarious.

[@bailey-pd4ok]

I feel like evwr give good advice but you do, Me and my ex are always together 25/7 were always on the phone and when were not were haungout and I feel like I have lost myself and it's eating at me everyday, He loves me and is clingy which I adore but it's a point were I am losing my self and it hurts so I'm gonna tell him how I feel, Thankyou so much for giving me the courage to change and actually tell him😊💗

[@kristelgonzalez7771]

I am not gonna lie. Minute 12:08 is exactly what I needed to hear. Its crazy how these sort of things happen. Thank you :)

[@missellalaladove]

i love that when she speaks, she speaks with conviction

[@cole4519]

i love you so much lumma, you literally saved my life.. i was going through a hard time, and i still am healing, but watching your videos really helped me ALOT and i really wanna thank you for that. Thank you for making me realize my worth

[@bimpannapa8775]

Thank you, Lumma, for sharing your story. I just broke up with my boyfriend, with whom I was in a relationship for 7 years. Your video is helping me get through this tough time.

[@Hwannum]

I need more advice about friendship, I’m lost. This girl is so amazing 😢

[@alliee12]

I am so excited!! And so proud of you!! Thank you Lumma

[@hubblepopo]

Lumma, please have a topic regarding independent woman. Because the concept of masculine and feminine energy seems to degrading woman with independency. Hope you are interested to talk about that. Thank you, pretty queen❤

[@MariaRodrigues-sf9pv]

I feel so ready for 2024 after this! Absolutely loved the advicee. feelingg like a boss right now. Keep the amazing work gir! You rock

[@attia6916]

your so pretty, thank you for all your pep talks lumma

[@lintianjun4115]

I swear you have the potential to be a greattttt counselor/therapist! :) You are great and I always find peace in your videos Lumma.

[@amye5650]

I loved this pep talk, completely on another level compared to other channels on KZbin where women jeopardize other women for acting a certain way to men. I loved how you admitted you want to control things and that you found your way to confidence. Truly inspirational!!! You manage to connect to people to different levels cause you explain things in a simple way and you are truthful. I wish you the best of luck with your podcast, you deserve to have your own successful one❤

[@donalpaccio4233]

I can't wait for your podcast. I'll definitely play it on spotify.

[@rahimanaily3564]

lumma's pep talk as free therapyyyy i love uuuu lummaa i really mean it ❤

[@marianneprevot220]

girl I just love how real you are

[@y7z1s1]

I dumped my ex because he's been a bum since 2020. Not only did he often pissed me off on my birthdays, he admitted to cheating on me. He never brought me flowers or anything, all he did was stress me out. Ladies, there are billions of men out there, don't get stuck with a worthless douchebag, he's blocking the best people that are about to enter your life. Y'all deserve the best

[@smbeck21]

I’ve never commented before on a video… but this pep talk was EVERYTHING!!!

[@bondpenelopebond]

Girl thank God I found your channel when I did 'cause I was really going the wrong way.

[@kimberlybernard35]

I definitely have an anxious attachment. I thought he was the one but I was still so anxious even though he was good to me I just had anxiety he’d abandon me. I’d also get so anxious to the point I’d have an anxiety attack when he was out in another city without me. He affirmed my fears when he out of nowhere ended things because I’m a mom and life with me would be too hard in the future and his family won’t accept me. I can be the most confident person ever. But when it comes to love I feel so weak.

[@kimxx8797]

Lumma…you’re saving me. I’m going through a heartbreak and your videos help a lot so I wanted to say thank you. And I shouted you out on TikTok ❤❤

[@thescintillate7160]

This is the best video that I relate the most. The most funny thing is I know what this feeling is ,but didn't knew how to put it in words at all. Thank you so much Lumma Di ❤

[@wlk81850]

you're SO SO inspiring, thank you sm for what you're doing

[@vonnie9184]

Lumma! Thank you so much!!! ❤

[@AliceAvedikian]

This video resonated so much with me. You truly are the epitome of an independent queen. We only go up from any situation ❤️ thank you 🫶🏻

[@Mywaylikethat]

Thank you for your video! I needed this. Currently going through an 8 year relationship that has ended. Hurts so bad right now and I wish it can just end already.

[@Taetaeok]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets anxious when my partner would go out alone 😅 I thought there was something wrong with me

[@palita2503]

but how you control it? i can't be at peace until he's back home

[@Taetaeok]

@@palita2503 I changed the way I think about it, I’ll do things I otherwise wouldn’t if he was there, think of it like getting some freedom at last. Also, don’t make this person the center of your life because if he makes a mistake or leaves it will hurt you that much more.

[@rebecca6185]

Thank you Lumma You’re amazing I really felt this ❤

[@sarabintfaiz1763]

this is probably my favorite video of you lumma

[@jexikawin]

Please please please start a podcast! This video was spot on and super inspirational! 🤍

[@dawnfen]

Watching you after my surgery to get some girl powers and love. Keep it up

[@sindy4596]

Hey Lumma! I've been watching your videos since the start of 2023, I'm from the Philippines btw!! I started watching you when I was going through break up with my 6yrs long time bf and your videos still help me up to this day. I'm so happy to know you'll be starting with a podcast this 2024. Continue inspiring a lot of people. Praying for you and Happy New Year, Queen! 🌸🔥

[@navitabansal3214]

This is the first video i’ve seen of you and can i just say you’re so genuine and i loved listening to you♥️ keep smiling💫

[@ameliaaa0]

Luma, i truly enjoy watching your videos. Thanks for helping young girls and for being our online big sis ❤ pls continue to make more videos and don't ever stop giving us life changing advice...love u big time

[@LavannaSky]

I absolutely loved this pep talk! You spoke straight facts👏🏼👌🏼🧡

[@NenaLiiz]

your such an inspiration ✨

[@reginadzhura6424]

Lumma I needed this so much.. you really have no idea what a positive impact you have on me. This is seriously such reassurance and makes my anxiety plummet. You re a gem and everything you say really does resonate so much.

[@blackieleo-hg9vy]

im so happy for ur podcast!! youre such an inspiration lumma

[@Somethingintherain]

Completely true! Luv u❤

[@janineonejanine]

i have the same relationship anxiety, very anxious attached, my partner is avoidant. I was with my fiance for 23 years and one day he just said is over, leave. I thought everything was fine, he didnt even have a conversation. I was in shock. My greatest fear came true.

[@moonbae3276]

Your voice is so attractive. It's the first time i'm watching your videos and you're so megnatic

[@natashachisenga9524]

I started following from your break up video till now even if we don't know each am from zambia africa i feel like we're are family

[@anisafarooq1426]

Like ive just started watching this and like I say every time you're so amazing with your words!

[@ivanhoedeinma962]

Thanks Lumma and you look so pretty ❤😊

[@fhay1]

Girl you are STUNNING

[@itsbettyjohnson]

girl YAYYYYY i’m so excited for your podcast! Thanks for all your pep talks you’re amazing💛

[@EvelynBird-is3qj]

I love how we have the same headband

[@polychroniakallipoliti732]

AHHHHHH THE PODCAST FINALLY, YOU ARE THE BEST❤❤❤❤

[@awliasf]

I probably back again just in case i needed a reminder. Love youuuuu Lumma❤

[@ladybug9432]

Thank you Lumma! I really needed to hear this, your pep-talks are always bringing so much value to my life :)

[@Useraksjdjdkj7]

I would love if you start talking about, the talking stages, and how to figure out if someone is the right one for you or they have feelings for you but don’t really want to start a relationship 🫶🏼

[@Jenna-vj2ju]

When you come to NYC, you should do a meet and greet!

[@selorin]

How can you do that? You make me alive every time ❤

[@chizzysimmons]

girl I literally clicked this video cus you looked so beautiful 😍 not you saying you're not giving. so not true!

[@Sara15chy]

Omggg, it's gonna be the best podcast everrr😭❤️❤️❤️love you lumma

[@sillycrazyminion]

I adore you and your videos, everything you said today really resonated with me. Sending love from Poland

[@j3rriie]

thankyou so much for this Lumma 💌 you've no idea how much this video helped me

[@eshitanirwan]

Love your transparency lumma, you inspire me so much

[@daphisha_makri]

Yess, finally! A podcast 🤍

[@lezzlynestrella2671]

We have cha time too here in the Philippines

[@MiadeHaan]

these videos are so healing wow❤

[@brymarie8]

Thank you, i needed to hear it big sis ❤️

[@chanuu2]

omg LUMMA!! I have been watching you for so long and GIRL YOU HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH ❤

[@anisafarooq1426]

Starting the new year right by watching lumma😍😍😍 happy new year!