Maddie and Kenzie from Dance Moms: Inside Their Tragic Past

[@mimiray7836]

The sad thing is, this probably explains why Maddie was so much more invested in dance and why Abby’s words meant so much to her and why she was easily manipulated. Dance was her way of escape and a way to let go of stress. No wonder she was so competitive and passionate. And Abby’s words meant so much to her because she probably saw her as her support system in some ways because she always praised her and acknowledged her work. This might be far fetched, but do you think this was why Abby was kinder to Maddie in some ways? Because she realized that she was already being pulled in so many directions and that she was punishing herself for her mistakes. I’ve noticed she did the same with Elliana. She was easier on her because she knew that her relationship with Yolanda was shaky and that she was already mentally cracking. Those poor girls 🥺

[@lovelyrfc]

i think so ! she had a rocky relationship with her own mother growing up and maybe thats why

[@JuliaBoateng]

i meant to say this, but I feel that that could be a reason why baby favored Maddie so much! M&M were very talented, but I feel some of that favoritism possibly came from pity! Very crazy all around.

[@mimiray7836]

Yes, I agree with both of you! She probably saw a bit of herself in Maddie because she was also put under a lot of pressure to be an adult and grow up faster than she should have considering she was given responsibility of the studio before she was a legal adult.

[@StephanieStone4737]

Truthfully, I think Abby favored Maddie for her own gain. As in, Maddie made Abby look good. Abby was all about promoting herself through the success of her business. I don’t think Abby truly cared about anyone but herself. She used Maddie.

[@bushdenae]

@@StephanieStone4737 I think that could be why it continued but I believe she did initially have sympathy for Maddie. Or at least I hope she has that bit of Humanity

[@chichi3183]

This explains why Maddie took the leadership role in the team when she was one of the youngest in the team.

[@JuliaBoateng]

completely! at times she seemed more emotionally mature than Brooke. Not saying Brooke was immature, but Brooke didn't really embrace that leadership role while Maddie was all in it.

[@jademao3044]

@@JuliaBoateng granted you can’t really embrace a roll when you’re always getting shit on

[@marilyn1984]

@@JuliaBoateng you don’t know if she wasn’t all in It. Everyone on the show at that time has confirmed that the producers edited the times where Brooke was being a leader and actually having a good time.

[@marilyn1984]

@@jademao3044 exactly

[@JuliaBoateng]

@@marilyn1984 she literally said in one of her confessionals that she didn’t want to be a leader (whether she was forced to say that or not is debatable but she did say it). It was in one of the episodes. Also, I’m aware of how Brooke got a bad edit. I’m just illustrating how Brooke didn’t seem as interested in being a leader of the team. I didn’t say that to criticize Brooke, but she just seemed over it- which makes sense cuz she was dancing with kids 3+ years younger than her as a teen

[@dreamydancers]

And whenever Abby talked about the divorce or Melissas personal life, Maddie would just break down. I always felt so terrible for her because that is completely inappropriate to talk about in front of a child.

[@marissanpacheco]

this explains the situation on the show where Kurt came to see Maddie at a competition and she was acting really odd around him. It also explains why Abby was so protective and not allowing Kurt to be near Maddie saying things like "you make her nervous" and "i spend way more time with your kid than you do, yes i absolutely do." it's so sad.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Yes, for sure! its also sad how Abby was protective of the kids but that protection later turned into an unhealthy obsession and quite honestly, manipulation of Maddie and Kenzie..

[@marissanpacheco]

@@JuliaBoateng agreed 100000%

[@saraholivier1349]

And why Chloé looked at Maddie shocked and surprised, because Chloé knew how bad it was

[@Kayla-jy6vh]

@@saraholivier1349yes this also explains why both Christi and Abby said Maddie was nervous !!!

[@blackwidow.05]

A neglectful dad, a fame-hungry mom and an abusive teacher... Damn, these two have been trough A LOT with bad mentors 😔

[@lyricsmith3348]

I think there mom was fake hungry in some ways but I think she wanted what was best for her kids because at the end of the day you can’t judge someone’s parenting from a reality tv shows that’s edited

[@blackwidow.05]

@@lyricsmith3348 I agree, Melissa still really loved her kids, but sometimes her decisions weren't the best. Still, she has two talented and pretty girls!

[@hanhnhu4653]

@@lyricsmith3348 that’s true but in some cases she made bad decisions upon her kids given the fact that she was a single mother and nobody’s perfect

[@mindyschocolate]

Yup.

[@beckyy584]

Don't forget SIA

[@seboramickey799]

Can’t believe the show made Maddie seem like a bad sister. She at age 6 had more maturity and care for her sister than many older children have. She could have easily taken their dad not waking up as an excuse to skip school or she could’ve only done everything for herself and left behind Kenzie. But at just 6, she acted with so much maturity and grace!

[@lilliealicea8002]

That just breaks my heart, especially coming from someone who also was subjected to parentification as a young kid. I'm glad Melissa quit her job when she heard it was happening.

[@madelinetaylor7369]

She was 8

[@seboramickey799]

@@lilliealicea8002 I’m so sorry about that, I hope you have the help you need to recover! I feel so bad 🥺

[@seboramickey799]

@@madelinetaylor7369 In this situation she was just 6! When the show started she’d just turned 8.

[@lilliealicea8002]

@@seboramickey799 Thank you, I really appreciate hearing that. It's taken years of therapy and work, but I'm incredibly lucky that my mom and I have been able to repair our relationship and I have processed all the trauma

[@maplemaple626]

This was something I was always curious about. I always had this feeling that the Ziegler sisters definitely had some dark history considering how seldom they'd talk about their home life. It also kinda explains why the two were more attached to Abby than the other girls despite Abby being abusive.

[@JuliaBoateng]

absolutely, i feel like everything on the show makes so much more sense

[@keyana4060]

Christy and Kelly had went on record in episode notes that didn’t make air that Maddie and Kenzie would be left at the studio very late and often other moms at the studio would either take them home with them or drop them off. That they were only given take out and the only time they had a home cooked meal was when they were taken to others homes. Not to mention the early episode where Maddie got “SICK” the episode notes states that no one had fed her that day and it was 8pm, she was so hungry she was sick.

[@yenisketches6047]

My Gosh some people really dont deserve kids

[@lane_love1353]

It really shows you how crappy of a father Kurt was!

[@Kiwi-gn8tf]

@@lane_love1353 Melissa isn’t any better. She just cares about herself and the money her kids made for her

[@samday2534]

@@Kiwi-gn8tf okay we need to stop this bullshit both Maddie and Mackenzie have come out and said Melissa is supportive has she made the best decisions no, but nobody is perfect You’re just letting everything from an edited TV show

[@leahsincelejo7641]

@@Kiwi-gn8tf Melissa did the best she could. Kurt didn't

[@oceanblue9122]

This is why I always sympathized with them on the show. All of the other girls were portrayed more as victims (which they were, and they deserve support, not taking anything from them) But a lot of Maddie’s and Kenzie’s pain was hidden and the show had it seem like they had the ‘perfect life.’ They got so much more hate from the dance moms fandom for years, especially Maddie, because they were never shown as victims - just as spoiled children. This is why I always got so upset at Maddie’s portrayal on the show. The show made it seem like she didn’t care about her sister and that she was a brat, when in reality there were so many moments that showed how much she cared and deeply loved Kenzie. Even against the odds, these sisters thrived and I’m proud of them. Thank you for covering this.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Of course! I always sympathized with Maddie and Kenzie, even when I watched the show as a teen way back when. It really wasn’t fair to them. Thank you for watching! 🤍

[@sarahalviz979]

At this point I’ve concluded that people will do anything to make Maddie look bad to bring their favorite person on DM up. So many people ignore comments or videos that supports Maddie, saying she wasn’t a brat, etc. but they choose to ignore it and only focus on the times where she acted “bratty” (even though she was just being a kid under pressure, or acting like a normal sibling).

[@neb.9489]

I always sympathized with Maddie bc she had tons of pressure put on her for six years. She had to be absolutely perfect and Abby never allowed the girls to make a single error, especially Maddie. She had to be the leader and example and that’s really tough for someone who was only eight at the start

[@irisesberry6188]

All the times we saw Maddie coaching Kenzie we were actually just watching a kid trying to parent a another kid

[@JuliaBoateng]

Basically 😔

[@alondraanaya5124]

i feel like maddie has always had a questionable relationship with adults they always see her as an equal instead of a kid. Like for example melissa, abby, sia and on the channel “dance moms uncovered” she has a video explaining her strange relationship with different adults.

[@Jessica.Shawnte]

This is why I say parents should stop pushing their kids to be independent and mature at a early age

[@mariakiwi1428]

The way sia refers to her is very creepy

[@neb.9489]

@@mariakiwi1428 This. It seems like she has some sort of savior complex. She even sad that she would’ve adopted Maddie if she didn’t have a good home and she wanted to “save” her from Abby

[@pric4799]

It was always so sad to me that Maddie was forced to grow up years beyond her age. Even on the show, it was easy to see how much pressure she was under and how difficult it was for her to take it easy on herself and understand she was a child and was allowed to make mistakes. I always pushed it more on Abby and Abby’s pressure on Maddie to ‘always win’ and ‘be a paragon for the rest,’ but knowing how she grew up just makes it all make so much sense. Why she was so hard on herself, why she panicked a lot over mistakes, and why she was extra picky about the rules and ‘being perfect.’ She had to be that way, as a ‘second parent’ for Kenzie. And I can only imagine, as you said, how much more difficult it was for Kenzie when Abby kept comparing her to Maddie. Considering how close they were (and knowing the full extent of it now), it’s heartbreaking to know how they were pit against other, even when they were each other’s support system. I love that they grew up to be so kind and loving to each other and that there’s no resentment or bitter feelings from either girl. And I’m so sorry about your mother, you are so strong to keep going and be as amazing and positive as you are. Lots of respect for you! 💕

[@JuliaBoateng]

exactly. this podcast connected so many dots for me!

[@abbyhicks5352]

I do think Melissa treated Maddie as way older than she was, there was one clip on Dance Moms when Maddie is like nine and she is upset and her mother tells her to stop and be a grown up. LIKE WHAT?!

[@Erica-rz1yb]

Yes! I remember that and I feel like there was this thing where Maddie was portrayed to be so much more mature and older/wiser than Mackenzie when they're actually not even a full two years apart!

[@Kayla-jy6vh]

@@Erica-rz1ybTHANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS UP!!!! OF THE OG TEAM ,MADDIE WAS THE SECOND YOUNGEST!!!!!

[@addygrubb9021]

Ooof, as an oldest sibling I can completely understand Maddie having to step into that parental role, and it does offer more insight into her intense anxiety on the show; thank you for shining some light on what we weren't seeing in the show

[@JuliaBoateng]

interesting! I was never parentified myself but my older brother was (to a much lesser extent than Maddie though) and to this day he sometimes still unintentionally "parents" me 😂 Props to you and all older siblings, you shouldered a lot! and no problem!

[@pizzamuffin6765]

I went through something similar growing up, even now, my sisters still call me their second mother

[@mardreambaby2652]

never knew u lost ur mother. i’m so sorry for your loss, mad respect for carrying yourself so well i would’ve never known

[@JuliaBoateng]

thank you so much, that means a lot ❤️

[@xailanibutler2955]

I’m sorry for your loss. Your mother raised a great daughter. 😊

[@JuliaBoateng]

thank you 💓

[@fantasyaldc8802]

It never sat right with me when the moms on the show would assume things about Melissa’s and her kids’ lives.. It seems like a lot of the hate against Melissa came from the words and inferences of the moms, who always created their own narratives, and the producers, who twisted the story and probably encouraged the moms to keep discussing Melissa’s life.

[@StephanieStone4737]

I never saw Melissa as underhanded, nor did she rub in that her daughter was the star dancer when she very easily could have. She was humble that way when it came to the other moms and dancers. I thought she was one of the classiest moms on the show. Sure I can find fault with a few things, but they are very minor, and no mom is perfect.

[@tylerthomas1015]

@@StephanieStone4737 I have to disagree. The way Melissa behaved anytime it wasnt All about one her daughters was despicable. She also did a lot of underhanded things like going to Abby to talk bad about Chloe who was 10 yrs old at the time. Its Maddie i feel bad for becuase Melissa allowed Maddie to be in many compromising situations, and even told her to "act like a grown up". Melissa was a great manager, but not so great of a mother.

[@StephanieStone4737]

@@tylerthomas1015 ok, agreed 👍

[@angelnyambio5704]

True, but I feel like it’s really Chloe’s mom and I guess, Brooke and Paige mother assume things about Melissa and her kids life.

[@rainbowsauce93wonder77]

When I watched the show I constantly saw how Maddie played the role of mother even for Melissa at times. Melissa often sought Maddie’s approval it was such an odd dynamic

[@rainbowsauce93wonder77]

Especially considering that Melissa always talked about how Maddie and her actual mom (Melissa’s mom) bobcha” were so similar

[@JuliaBoateng]

that’s a good point about the grandma! I really feel like Melissa saw Maddie as mom 2.0. It’s really sad

[@melfree2545]

I didn’t know you’d lost your mother so young. I just lost my dad a few months ago. I’m 28, but my sister is the same age you were. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose a parent at that age.

[@JuliaBoateng]

so sorry for your loss- and yes its been pretty difficult these past 8 years- sometimes it still doesn't feel real, but I'm moving forward and pressing on :) thank you!!

[@jmuller24]

I'm confused, did you have to get yourself ready by yourself because your dad was like at work or...

[@JuliaBoateng]

@@jmuller24 yes, my dad went to work early in the morning - i left an hour after him. My mom usually went to work around 8:30AM when she was alive so she could always see me off

[@Ksmall92]

It was interesting listening to this podcast and it definitely explains some of the girls behavior. Looking back on that episode where they were giving Melissa crap about her marriage to Greg, I feel bad for Melissa now knowing how her relationship with her ex was. Shame on the producers for making a sh*t show out of that. Also thinking back to that episode where Kenzie and Maddie's real dad showed up and how Maddie didn't seem excited to see him, it makes sense now.

[@JuliaBoateng]

yeah! the producers were really awful for that- its disappointing how they were all so mistreated!

[@corimoon3360]

The girls didn’t seem excited to see their dad bc Melissa kept her from them and acted out whenever he was around so the girls picked up on that.

[@CherryAngel95]

It makes sense why Kurt stressed Maddie out. When he was there she always had to parent Kenzie. It was probably an instinctive reaction (which explains why she couldn’t articulate it in her lil interview and just said “he’s not the same as my mom”)

[@kellyd4104]

It’s especially sad because most of the fans were obsessed with framing Maddie’s as this favorite child that Mackenzie was always in the shadows of. Meanwhile the dynamic was that Kenzie had Maddie and Maddie had no one

[@Eo_125]

Remember the time when melissa and abby had a fight and abby said they dont have a happy family? Poor maddy she cried so much over that.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Sigh.. Abby never really cared about them only what she could get from them

[@kaylagomez1621]

@@JuliaBoateng So True

[@Kayla-jy6vh]

If I remember correctly kenzie was sitting in her chair upset and Maddie was bawling 🙁 like what did Abby gain out of saying that to them ?🙁🙁

[@lillikoi-]

My dad worked the night shift, fully supported my family and my mother was full time mom, but she was searching for drugs. I had 5 siblings, at 5 years old, I changed diapers, cooked, got my siblings ready for school, washed and hanged dry laundry. I did all of this and i can relate so much to Maddie. My mother was so cracked out… and my dad had no idea this was happening. It wasn’t till i was 10 that my dad remarried and my step mom helped me let go and let me be an actual child but i was diagnosed with OCD.

[@JuliaBoateng]

oh wow… I’m so sorry to hear that, if you don’t get told this enough, you’re very strong!! I hope you’re doing better now!

[@sngray11]

I didn’t realize how much I can relate to Maddie. I am the oldest and have two younger sisters. My parents divorced when I was five and back then, they automatically gave custody to the mother. It took years in court to prove that my mom was unfit to be the primary caregiver. So I had to grow up quickly (during the times I wasn’t at my dad’s house) and take care of myself and my little sisters. Also, dance was a huge escape for me as well. I was also a perfectionist and had to take on a plethora of roles from a young age. So I definitely understand Maddie and Kenzie a lot more after this video. Thank you for sharing this video with all of us. 💗

[@danielaortega7143]

Melissa did a lot of things that were correct in a lot of things that were rotten whoever I will never ever not acknowledge how she put her kids first when it came to her divorce I am horrified that she legit had to pull out of work just because her ex-husband couldn’t get his ass off the bed and simply serve his daughters some cereal and if you think about it all the people that Maddie had depending on her being a second mother to McKenzie keeping it together for her mom being the dance captain being Abby’s golden girl and how Abby would take advantage of that so many times

[@JuliaBoateng]

Agreed!

[@reviewswithtamia]

Wow!! I listened to their podcast and was so shocked to find out how their dad acted when they were younger. It explains why Melissa was always stand offish to him.

[@jasminesemujju3016]

What episode of the podcast did they explain this?

[@philinasummer5585]

what episode

[@reviewswithtamia]

The podcast episode is entitled handling divorce. But I was talking about the season 1 National episode where they are bowling and Melissa seems rude to Kurt. It explains why she didn’t leave the girls with him but with Abby.

[@corimoon3360]

Melissa was stand off ish because she’s a liar and manipulator. Kurt was worried about his kids and she kept them from him.

[@fantasyaldc8802]

@@corimoon3360 Worried? He didn’t even care enough to wake up in the morning to feed them and make sure they got on the bus safely to school! Maddie had to do all that for both of them.

[@madisonjones1093]

Maddie and Kenzie went through so much on that show that we may never know. It looked like Maddie didn't have the same struggles as the other girls because of the favoritism however, I think she went through more then other girls just off camera.

[@krabby-patty]

Definitely felt bad for Kenzie. She constantly seemed in the shadow of her sister.

[@kaylagomez1621]

Yep

[@pariscampen1223]

“Once I accepted the change, I began to see the benefits.” -Maddie Ziegler

[@autumnm.4254]

Now I understand a little better why Abby would always throw shade at Melissa and say things like ‘you’re sleeping with some guy you’re not even married to instead of worrying about your kids.’ Obviously it was inappropriate for her to be airing the family’s dirty laundry on tv but I always wondered why she would go out of her way to say stuff like that. Now we know it’s probably because she was worried about Maddie and Mackenzie more than she was focused on trying to shame Melissa for her life choices.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Yeah I definitely think she was worried for M&M, but I think that worry turned into an unhealthy obsession later on. That woman was insane

[@yanaji7508]

It wasn’t really Melissa’s life choices though. Melissa quit her job the minute the knew what was going on to care for her kids, and she wouldn’t know what type of father Kurt would turn out to be. She’s allowed to have her personal life and look for a new husband. Also, clearly she picked the right new father because the kids have nothing but good things to say about him. Abby just took low digs whenever she felt petty. And she’s hypocritical too because she never got a man and made questionable comments to 15 year olds.

[@paulab.7651]

I loved your commentary in this video. It’s so sad to see that Maddie had to take on such a big role at such a young age. I lost my mom too, but more recently. It’s been really hard. It would be cool to see a video on how you handled grief/loss as a woman of faith ❤️

[@JuliaBoateng]

Awww im so sorry for your loss, and I totally understand your pain. that sounds like a great idea, I'll definitely consider it! thank you so much 💕

[@MomMadness1]

I can only imagine what it was like for the girls being the only ones in the dance group with divorced parents. There was always an air of snobbery from the moms. I remember when Cathy and Melissa went to lunch once she found out Melissa was going through a divorce, her tone changed. This also reminds of the episode when Abby was ranting about not talking about weddings and divorces.

[@aleenasmakeup]

Abby's comment makes a lot more sense now

[@alejandrajaimes8035]

Or when in the confessionals Cathy basically said she didn’t care about Melissa’s situation because she wasn’t going through a divorce

[@MomMadness1]

@@alejandrajaimes8035 Yep her whole demeanor changed.

[@yanaji7508]

It’s funny coming to this video right after watching a recent Dance Moms video of Season 1 Nationals where Kurt was introduced. So many people in the fandom immediately jumped to support him instead of being more critical of him and that’s because nobody wants to believe Melissa is right. Because of the anti-Melissa sentiment in the fandom, people jump to all the wrong conclusions and it’s interesting to see Kurt’s true character revealed.

[@dreamworlddm3956]

I feel like this gives so much insight about Maddie and her reactions/behavior on the show. Those two girls have gone through so much and I'm happy to see how close they are to this day, but this is so sad...

[@user-fo8dw1mo7u]

I didn’t expect to cry during this video. I, like Maddie took care of my siblings and took full responsibility over them at 6 years old onward. I was so much of a parent that my mom called me her mini me in reference which put a lot of pressure to preform. Went through a very ugly divorce, abusive/neglecting parents. I’m still recovering till this day. I was not able to make an identity for myself and struggle a lot with that. I resonate with everything you said in this video and I actually got second hand validation from you unexpectedly. Love your vids!

[@amybess]

What you just said about Abby...this is why I get annoyed when people say everyone on the show was traumatized EXCEPT Maddie.

[@rei9376]

exactly! just because she was the “favoured” girl doesn’t mean that she didn’t go through a lot. like, the amount of pressure that girl went through to win every single competition had to do something to her mental state, and maddie even stated that she’s incredibly insecure of herself. being that competitive and too much of a perfectionist especially at her young age was not in any way healthy, and i hated how people always invalidated and downplayed that. even when maddie had a PANIC attack for forgetting her solo, people made fun of her and said she was a brat throwing a tantrum like… the insensitivity and how apathetic people were to maddie was so disgusting.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Yeah, all those people were incredibly dense. I mean I even peeped it as a teenager, that treating a kid like this was terrible. She got the Villian edit for years

[@EF-kk3vh]

Thanks for covering this! Definitely gives so much more context to what they suffered through on the show.

[@JuliaBoateng]

For sure , I’m glad they’re doing so well now 🤍

[@Chrysyyyy]

I’m rewatching season 2 & to see how Abby treated Maddie bc she noticed subtle changes in her is so crazy. She girl was going through so much & Abby treated her terribly rather than asking her what’s going on.

[@britakin66]

Tbh I grew up watching dance moms I was so obsessed with the show 💀 the first time I got social media I saw all the hate on Maddie and I was so shocked because I never hated her at all but I never related to her need of winning till I turned 16… and rewatching the show I realized that her and Nia are the one I relate to the most

[@MsMeeka-lr6uf]

After watching MackZBoss’s videos everything made sense. And I could sense the relationships Maddie has had with certain older people in her life.

[@emmyjo720]

Maddie has always seemed older than her years and depressed. She had to look after Abby too. Far to much...

[@lyricsmith3348]

It’s sad how people just allowed and praised Christi for talking shit on Melissa’s relationship without knowing what was actually going on

[@JuliaBoateng]

Agreed :( Christi was way outta line. She was out of line a lot on the show

[@lyricsmith3348]

@@JuliaBoateng yess no one talks about it tho because they always saw her as the victim

[@Jessica.Shawnte]

That’s one thing I would not back Christi on

[@leahsincelejo7641]

I think producers had also something to do with it as well. Christi did take too far with what she was instructed to do a lot of times and Melissa tells them lots.

[@rubi3182]

Always so interesting to see the effect of these things on a psychological level, great video Julia:)

[@JuliaBoateng]

Thank you Rubi!!

[@stunod05]

i used to kind of want to be famous when I was younger but now at 17 I can’t imagine how it must feel to have your childhood exploited in the public 😟( sorry about your mom 💙)

[@JuliaBoateng]

All of that on top of child neglect.. it’s a miracle that Maddie and Kenzie are the people they are today!

[@stunod05]

@@JuliaBoateng yessss!!! i am so glad they aren’t messes like a lot of other child stars turned out to be. they are very strong young women 👏🏽

[@JuliaBoateng]

hey y’all, sorry if the audio sounds a bit weird throughout the video! Everytime I cut the clips, the audio would get muffled at the very start of that clip and i literally dk why. Premiere Pro is a joy 🙃 enjoy the video ! 💗

[@stunod05]

lol the audio sounds normal 💙

[@diamondsapphireangel1721]

It's only slightly muffled, nothing to noticable. At least to me.

[@aubreyspencer1167]

it sounds fine 💗💗

[@xlipsyalicex]

I didn't even notice there was audio issues your good

[@autumnm.4254]

I was the Maddie in this scenario to my younger brother. Our parents divorced when I was 4 and my brother was only a few months old. Both of my parents were neglectful, and for a while my dad had custody of us both. I made all of my brother’s bottles and changed all of his diapers, got both of us dressed for school/daycare, and climbed into his crib with him to hold him when he cried at night. I was lucky if I could get my dad out of bed long enough just to drive us to school/daycare. Thank God for my grandma, who always sent me food to microwave for myself. This went on until I was 7 and he got remarried. And when I saw my mom she always assured me, “you’ve got amazing maternal instincts” and “you’re going to be the best mother one day!” Because I was doing what she decided not to do. And when I had my first child at 18 (I’m 23 now) I struggled to bond with him for a while. I wondered why I wasn’t living up to what my mom told me I’d be. I’m so glad you made this video and have shined a light on parentification. I had never heard of it until now, and this video has made me more aware of the fact that, no, I didn’t grow up so quickly because I had special maternal instincts or whatever bs. It was because I was placed in a situation by careless adults who gave me no other choice. It is NEVER the child’s fault, and it’s wrong to force children to take on so much responsibility.

[@destinyyt6675]

This really goes to show that no matter how glamorous etc someones life looks from the outside you should never assume everything is perfect. Maddie & Mackenzie are a perfect example of this. To the outside world they are doing incredibly well with their careers and have alot of popularity, but behind the scenes things might be better now, hopefully. But it wasn't always that way. This is why you should always have compassion for others, no matter how perfect their life may seem. You never really know what someone is going through & you should never judge.

[@khick2005]

I lost my mom when I was 14 because she got mentally sick and didn’t want us anymore because her brain acts wrong where she switches for one person to the next, she’s super toxic and it’s unfortunate my brothers have to live like this, I understand Maddie and where she comes from with taking care of family, I had too cook them food when I was 14. It’s sad

[@JuliaBoateng]

i'm so sorry you had to shoulder that burden! I hope things are better for your family now 🤍

[@karleeviator5278]

the way my jaw dropped whenever that blonde lady started yelling maddie’s mom’s business 😭😭

[@alexmun7391]

christi had me ready to smack her through the screen whenever she mentioned it. it’s so uncalled for, especially since it wasn’t just melissa getting divorced and remarried, it was also maddie and kenzie’s family getting ripped apart

[@PlanetCrazzy]

Wow I can really relate to this! When I was younger my parents got divorced and luckily my younger sister doesn't remember but it caused me a lot of pain and I still remember it to this day. It's hard being the oldest in these situations because you feel like you're carring everyone's problems on your back 💔

[@victoriagregoire567]

My brother doesn’t remember much about how bad my dad was to him so he has suppressed so much whereas I remember everything from certain comments to emotional moments so it’s very difficult. I completely understand where you are coming from. I tried going to therapy to talk about it and she automatically said forgive him and that it was not normal for me not wanting anything to do with my dad

[@albedosimp6166]

I could relate to Maddie and Mackenzie thats why watching them on the show, there were certain times that I could relate a little too much. I started dance at a very young age too, and like Kenzie it was weird for me to make school friends since I never really talked to my school friends about my personal life unlike my dance friends or at the studio I go to, I literally could share it to people if I wanted to. I never met my step siblings cuz I never saw my dad either since birth. I just feel bad for Maddie and Kenzie that the show had a toll on them more. The whole Parentification just hits hard on me, and more on to Maddie since being the older sister and being on a show is a lot at a young age.

[@gabrieladd09]

no wonder why Melissa left Kurt. there are no words to describe how bad i felt for Maddie not only was shes Kenzies 2nd mother and not only did she make sure Kenzie was okay she had her mother who didn't care for her enough she had mothers fighting because of her success you also have Abby putting all this pressure and saying "no ones happy for you' "they're just jealous of you" and their mother not saying a word about it, that must be so confusing for a 8 year old girl. no matter what abby says abt herself she was abusive to this kids including maddie.

[@philmahoiters9982]

I’m glad it seems like kenzie validates her experience even though she can’t remember it all

[@LuzMaria95]

Having to do that already sucks but having to do that AT 6 YEARS OLD!!! That’s tough. 😞

[@maedeeter5603]

I totally get the feeling of being the only one whose parents were divorced. All of my friends in elementary school had married parents, and I felt embarrassed about telling anyone. I was 8 when my parents divorced, I’m almost 22 now. It’s tough feeling like you’re the only one. I totally sympathize with that feeling. Glad that they’re doing better today🙂

[@Reina00721]

It was honestly so sad how Christi acted like she knew Melissa on that level as if she knew if it was true about something that was a rumor. And it's unfortunately common for ppl to assume ppl divorce cuz of an affair or something else..Not everything you hear is true sometimes it's hearsay. You know? And it's not always an affair w divorced ppl..Melissa even said it again off cameras how that wasn't the reason for the divorce on S5 of dance moms reunion on a deleted scenes when they were trying to censor her she said "why not.. why can't I say this..you ppl let Christi say I had an affair on national tv when I didn't and you still aired that" ohp. Also.. about their dad biological one I do wonder why he wasn't in their life more their childhood is something they can never get back. He could've at least tried some more. Although I sympathized with the dad at first cuz it seemed like Melissa kept him away with the dance stuff but now I get more of Melissa side when you start to explain.. now to me their dad it seems he used dance as a scapegoat for why he didn't see them and the real reason he didn't see them might've been just something petty with Melissa and maybe what Abby said was true that their dad was just rude. Also I think Maddie on the show was nervous around her dad cuz it was awkward ever since the divorce.. &on the show they made it seem like he isn't neglectful and actually cared about them. But clearly he was neglectful of some sorts if he was barely in their lifes like that growing up.. Also although I get why the mom's were mad about favortism but they shoulda got mad at Abby and left Melissa alone and Maddie and Kenzie left them alone. Although they didn't really bother Kenzie sometimes they'd just be rude to Maddie and assume she got everything handed to her as if her talent had nothing to do with it. (If the mom's were that mad or consider it "selfish" for Melissa to take advantage of opportunities for her kids that had talent. And was smart and usually was their with them and thought ahead so it wouldn't be hard for them to get further in Industry when their older.. Idk what to tell them but maybe take advantage of opportunities too? Like Melissa did..Since all the girls wanted to be a success in the dance buisness.. I do think had Melissa not did what she did as for opportunities idk if they would be as known as they are now. Also most definitely in S5 holly got the Melissa treatment because holly took advantages of opportunities too and majority of the mom's were mad at her for no reason. Even Melissa you'd think with Melissa getting treated horribly bcuz of taking advantage of opportunities and cuz of Abby's favortism you'd think she'd sympathize w holly.) Although it's clear difference how Melissa treats Maddie and Kenzie I do think maybe Melissa does that because she feels bad bcuz Maddie is the one who suffered the most memories of the divorce and remembered it. If that makes sense. Doesn't make it right to care more about one kids feelings and not the other and make it seem like the other kid is a cry baby and to grow up basically.. but it could explain why Melissa was more caring to maddie when Maddie got upset on camera..cuz..Kenzie didn't really remember much like you said especially cuz she was a few yrs younger. But this isn't saying Kenzie didn't suffer it's just she didn't remember as much as Maddie.

[@JuliaBoateng]

this is a great comment! I completely agree.

[@Reidtheroom482]

all of the moms talked about the divorce and affair and even Leslie talked to Jill about Melissa cheating and Melissa and Abby talked about personal things about Kelly and Christi on the show. I personally think they were all in the wrong but y’all only like to blame Christi

[@fantasyaldc8802]

@@Reidtheroom482 Personally, I think all the moms are at fault, but the reason a lot of people shame Christi is because Christi is a “queen” in this fandom. Everyone calls out Melissa’s, Abby’s, Leslie’s, Jill’s, etc mistakes but barely anyone calls out Christi because she’s ‘iconic’ and ‘the queen.’

[@Reidtheroom482]

@@fantasyaldc8802 I agree all the moms are at fault but I see people call out Christi for things she said on the show more so than Leslie or Melissa . Yes people talk about Jill and the things she did but then it becomes a joke but when they talk about Christi it’s very hateful

[@fantasyaldc8802]

@@Reidtheroom482 I see what you’re saying, but I disagree a LOT. Melissa’s definitely the most hated in the fandom. A close second and beyond being Jill, Ashlee, Yolanda and now Kira. Christi has much more fans who excuse her wrongdoings than she does haters. Her few haters are strong haters, that I agree with, but she has the biggest fanbase out of the moms, perhaps only second to Holly.

[@sonyasotnikova3834]

Also when people are like, mAdDiE iS sO rUdE tO mCkEnZiE, then show a clip of them having a small spat, THEY ARE SIBLINGS SIBLINGS FIGHT

[@JuliaBoateng]

I agree, I literally never understood the criticism maddie took for that 🙄🙄

[@thelisarahman]

I feel like Abby was never a child’s adult. And i mean that in that she wasn’t someone who understood psychology or child development. She was a failed dancer turned choreographer and studio owner. She grew up under this supposed incredible dance teacher of a mother and she couldn’t be the Maddie. Everything in Abby’s world was just how can i make up for being a failed dancer? She made “stars.” That was her identity. She wasn’t out there to be a recreational after school dance teacher. She was out there to make the best dancer with the group of kids she could get. She wasn’t teaching dance with a side of using it to build confidence or independence or to teach time management and skill. She was out there to be the cutthroat competition teacher and have those bragging rights. Remember all the times she held success of Cathy or another dance teacher by how many former students were headlining Broadway? Her whole life and identity was dance and she wasn’t able to be the Maddie type herself. She saw what she wished she was in Maddie. She didn’t care about the girls home lives. She wasn’t out there to treat children like children. She was out there to get what she wanted. And Maddie’s anxious perfectionism and apparently parental aspects that i had no idea about, plus Melissa’s seemingly need to live vicariously through Maddie as well was the perfect recipe for Abby to also live vicariously through her. I don’t think Abby actually cared about the overall well-being of any of her students or her words and actions we saw never would have happened. There’s tough coaching and there’s abusive coaching. Abby was downright abusive to all of those girls. Maddie was no exception. Except that Maddie’s abuse was a much deeper cut because it was psychological and manipulative. It’s one thing to have an adult sling hurtful words at you (it doesn’t make it right) but it’s completely different to be used as a puppet for two adults to live their own fantasy through you. Also i am curious if Maddie has some kind of regression in the maturity department because she never was able to have a real childhood. Between her parents divorce and the show, i would how that might effect her developmentally. I know she comes across as having her ish together. But unless she’s been in therapy for years, this had to have had some major psychological delay in her.

[@jasminhavannavlogs5893]

I’m glad you spoke about this and how it affected their demeanor on the show. Could you possibly do a video on Abby Lee and her obsession with young people back during dance moms days and currently regarding the stuff she posts. I just find her actions very strange seems quite exploitive

[@christianbosse_]

Wild. Could you imagine being the breadwinner and having to QUIT your job to make sure your* kids are being taken care of by their BIOLOGICAL father?? That’s messed up. I know this is about the kids but that one part is wild.

[@lox3csimiami22]

I know you’re a psych major so your take on these issues means a lot. I didn’t know you lost your mom at such a young age. I did too. My mom passed away when I was 18 years old and she left behind me and my 17 and 14 year old sisters. Talk about parentification. I remember this one situation when my 14 year old sister was acting up in school and the school wanted to set up a conference. I showed up and they said “why are you here.” Keep in mind, I’d just graduated high school 2 months before my mom passed and this situation was 6 months after she passed. It was difficult. In saying this, I can’t imagine what it would’ve been to have to go through this at 6years old to be the parent to your younger siblings, or even 15 years old and trying to process life as you did. It’s just something extremely difficult.

[@iheartizzystradlin]

Maddie and Kenzie’s past just breaks my heart💔

[@leegarrod3300]

I remember I used to take care of my sister who is less than 2 years apart and I am the child prodigy, best grades, person doing all the chores and the second mum since I was 8 and I only just realised how sad it is ☹️ and I realise how similar me and maddies life was at home and I am also a perfectionist so anyone who is going through anything like that you are not alonene

[@ccw2613]

All the dance competitions were on the weekends and Melissa was with them. So it seems many of the weekends they were not with their dad.

[@JuliaBoateng]

that’s true, I completely forgot about that! I wonder how their dad feels about their success today. I’m sure he’s sorry for all that he’s done

[@ccw2613]

@@JuliaBoateng and missed.

[@urfavpersonella]

This is so sad, poor both of them the fact that Maddie from the age of 6 had to do so much for Kenzie and herself with no help from parents is just so sad.They deserved so much better I wanna run up to them and give them a massive hug.😭❤️

[@---qh1xz]

Such an interesting analysis. Really appreciate the research you do for these and your take on it! Really thought-provoking

[@JuliaBoateng]

thank you very much!

[@ccw2613]

Kenzie still had poor self esteem when she was on Dancing With the Stars Juniors.

[@NoItGrl]

I love your commentary and this video was very insightful. One thing I want to remind everyone of is that no one is the perfect person or parent. Kudos for Melissa for quitting her job when she found out about their situation in the morning because realistically, there are a lot of women that just aren’t able to do that. Also, I have an older sister and at times she has to tell me something or explain something to me simply because sisters (in my case and theirs) can be best friends and you’ll hear your best friend differently. - Not because I don’t respect my other family members. Just because we’re closer. I ask that we don’t punish parents for having feelings, jobs or not dealing with things in the ideal way or the way WE would handle things because in reality, we all having things and situations we could approach differently. The only thing is we aren’t on TV and our faults and families aren’t highlighted for everyone to judge. That’s an extremely tough situation to be in (for everyone). There’s really no “perfect”’solution.

[@Trebor743]

Also Melissa lost her mother too so doesn't have that person to lean on. It also made me realise that where the moms used to mock Melissa for working at Abby's studio (to 'get Maddy more privates') actually, it was probably just convenient as the girls could dance, and she needed to work!

[@carlywarly222]

First off: what you shared of your own personal loss, the testimony of sharing your grief; with this topic - so much of what you felt lead to share, truly blessed my soul- God put a word on your heart and I am grateful that today the Lord blessed me to stumble across your channel and this video. I agree whole heartedly with you- by the Grace of God, can we find our way through pain, hardship, loss, off old or new trauma. I am sorry for the loss you endured at such a young age… I was 22 years old, when I faced the traumatic experience of losing my spouse. It was a hit that took me years to truly “begin to accept” that grief is a process that is necessary for healing… today I am happily remarried and a mother to a daughter- I hope you know, you have a mamma heart lifting you in prayer today: May God’s ever present Grace and Mercy continue to lead you, Comfort you, and surround you with joy, breakthroughs and the Confidence to continue sharing your heart with others. God bless!

[@JuliaBoateng]

Oh wow Amen! I’m so grateful that the Lord spoke to you- and congrats on finding new love. We serve such a good God that will turn our heartache into our good and for His glory!! Thank you so so so much- this comment has truly touched me. I pray that God continues to richly bless you!!! 🤍🤍🤍

[@GabyBauzile]

Well damn this video made me cry and I never thought I could relate so much to Maddie.

[@emhm5487]

In regard to 19:45 I def agree… sia clings onto Maddie too much

[@chanelleparedes]

Remember is season 3 when they were all in the dressing room and abby started screaming at melissa that she goes from one husband to the next without worrying about her kids. How melissa responded saying we have a happy household and abby said it doesnt look like it. Maddy was crying and it probably was because everything that was going on at home where as the show made it to look like she was crying because abby said sofia lucia rocked her world. Also it is shown in that scene maddy having to be "perfect" because as shes crying melissa tells her to stop and to keep it together. I think its so sad maddy never had the chance to be a kid and show her true feelings about everything that is going on she has to be a statue and be perfect. I always wondered why on the episode where the Zieglers announce that theyre leaving dance moms melissa never had the conversation with maddie and kenzie about their departure. Kenzie found out with everyone else and maybe it was because melissa sees maddy and an adult and parent to kenzie and doesnt look at them as equals siblings.

[@aestheticvoyage9174]

I cant remember if it was in an earlier season of dance moms or one of maddie's youtube videos she did mention that she is like a second mom to Mackenzie & when Melissa wasnt at competitions Maddie would take care of Mackenzie by doing her make up for competition & getting her ready again just like the school thing I find that crazy because she was sooo young

[@JuliaBoateng]

isnt it! Maddie took on way too much

[@AbigailWrites]

While I agree that trauma isn't the person's fault and that it's the traumatized person's responsibility to heal, I don't think there were any upsides or benefits to being abused. Nor did it make me a better/stronger person, it broke me and I have to fight every day to be whole. It made me a worse person; more angry, more distrustful, more resentful. I think that line of thinking glorifies trauma/abuse by making it seem like the abuser did the person a favor by hurting them. People with childhood trauma (ex. high ACE scores) have been shown to be at higher risk for heart disease, stroke, cancer, Alzheimer's, depression, anxiety, unintended pregnancy, PTSD, intimate partner violence, liver disease, etc. The risk of suicide goes up by 1200% compared to the control group with no childhood trauma. Protective factors like having one stable adult in your life that you can go to for support, can help prevent these things. It sounds like Maddie and Kenzie at least had their mom, and their mom's family. Some kids aren't so lucky. No hate just sharing info! Not everyone knows about the research in this area of child psychology. I love your videos, keep it up!

[@alexisevans4233]

I recently found your channel and I seriously love all your videos! I hope your account blows up soon you deserve at least a million followers and all the love/support 👏🏼💗✨

[@JuliaBoateng]

aww thank you so much! 💕

[@alexa2464]

I noticed that when Kurt came to the changing rooms, Maddie was trying to drag kenzie away from him when he tried to hug her. It looked like she was nervous.

[@natalielawrence8809]

Parental alienation at it's saddest. 💔 The dynamic between Maddie and Melissa, Kenzie and Melissa and Maddie and Kenzie really supports that.. and that's just the minutes we all saw each week on a tv show. The fact that they couldn't understand " that their siblings had a different Mum and same Dad" is on Melissa. She was the main care giver and that's unacceptable. This whole story about the Dad being in bed.. refusing to get them breakfast and ready- and to the bus stop at the age of 4 and 6 sounds like a story they were told by Melissa.. the details are just too much for that age.. and presents Melissa as a victimised hero, again. We all saw the way that Melissa treated Kenzie on Dance Moms.. and people really have short memories. Kurt ran a Mortgage Business.. and this narrative of him "sleeping all day" must be so hurtful to him. It really seemed like Melissa was obsessed with Maddie (who looked most like her) and wanted to live out her dreams through her. And poor Kenzie went along for the ride. I have so much respect for both the girls- but Kenzie in particular. I don't believe it helped Kenzie that she looked so much like her Dad. Yeah, I think Melissa is that shallow in many ways. Kurt had the kids on weekends- he also picked them up from dance when needed.. that really doesn't align with a neglectful Dad. I just don't buy it. Melissa was having an affair when she was married to their Dad.. instead of owning that.. she has done everything she can to put all the blame on Kurt.. and sadly, it's cost her children any chance of a loving relationship with their Dad.. and their Dad with them. Melissa has a lot to answer for and with time, I believe the girls (despite how much they love her) will ask them.. or at least, think them 💔

[@j-rodthelibrarykid1166]

Lmfaooo you can have memories at 6 years old. Maybe you're so dumb you don't but yeah your assumptions make 0 sense compared to someone who lived something

[@Maddy2u1991]

Maybe listen to anatomy by kenzie and the reasoning behind it then see if you still think melissa is to blame

[@natalielawrence8809]

@@Maddy2u1991 I have.. and maybe you need to listen to it again with the thought of it being a song written by a daughter who was the victim of parental alienation.. on top of having self worth issues due to being treated very differently than her Sister.. and like a comparative extension of her too. I stand by my opinion.. and feel that the song (as good as it is) is actually symptomatic of the extreme and sadly successful parental alienation 😔

[@maybe_im_a_bug]

i feel like maddie and kenzie were the ones who were always there for each other. i’m constantly thinking about that clip in dance moms were melissa said in front of mackenzie “maddie, you’re my best friend. you’re not dramatic (i think it was dramatic?) like mackenzie is”. honestly hurts my heart.

[@ang4588]

she called mackenzie “miss emotional”, but genuinely, that was one time i got what she was trying to say. she talked about it a bit on maddie and kenzie’s podcast, how she was referencing mackenzie actually opening up about her emotions and letting everything flow in the moment, where as maddie was colder and more reserved, and felt as though she couldn’t do that or didn’t deserve to. maddie sort of needed that extra “hey, i’m here for you. talk to me honestly.” push. not vilifying mackenzie for being that way, but trying to let maddie know that she understands there’s a difference in what they’re willing to show.

[@judycoulter4556]

Wow. This explains a lot of their behaviors. It is so sad.

[@ferniefernandoortiz1242]

Very informative and educational. I just want to say how sorry I am about the loss of your mother ❤

[@hbk2377]

My parents divorced when I was around 4 or 5, like Kenzie but I was an only child, and my mom had to work full time and go to school to just provide for me, so I’ve been dressing myself, feeding myself, and sending myself off to school since I was in first grade, I always thought it was normal and being hyper-independent was normal, but this gives me another perspective

[@agluv7360]

it explains why in their earlier teen years they seemed to have absolutely no rules in comparison to the average teen

[@i_forgot_my_name4974]

I remember one episode where Kenzie did a solo and during rehearsal, she forgot a step. This prompted Abby to call Kenzie stupid, and Melissa defended Kenzie. I remember this specifically because it was one of, if not the, only instance of Melissa defending Kenzie pre-season 6. The sad thing is, even then, Melissa jumped to an uncalled for comparison between her daughters. She said something along the lines of "Kenzie is very smart. She's much smarter than Maddie is, academically." That was probably the only instance where Melissa said something "positive" about Kenzie in comparison to Maddie but it was still so uncomfortable. It's like Melissa just had to compare her two girls. She could have just left it at "Kenzie is very smart" - she didn't have to bring Maddie into the conversation at all, since Maddie wasn't even there. But no, she just HAD to bring Maddie up, even to throw her under the bus. It's so weird how Melissa handled her daughters back then (I didn't keep up with the Dance Moms cast but I can imagine she still does it to some extent).

[@Zeelovesdinos]

I can’t wait to watch this while powering through revision, thank you for all you do!

[@JuliaBoateng]

You got this!! And you’re welcome, thank you for your support! ☺️

[@snomberry]

I was put in the parent position as well (although I was 9 when my parents divorced, so not as young) but I taught my brothers how to read and write, helped them with their homework, changed the younger one's diapers. The part you talk about the kid also being put into a parenting role to the actual parent is also something I experienced; anyone who is curious about that phenomenon search up "emotional incest" Oh yeah, sorry, point of this comment: thank you for making a video about this concept, it was very healing and validating

[@andreajhoselynllanesespino6906]

I'm glad you didn't hallow Melissa, because I think she had good deeds as a mother, but she still had a lot of bad or questionable ones. Today I consider that she is a mother who is disinterested in the emotional issues of her children and more attentive to economic issues. Sometimes Mackenzie acted questionable online and yet Melissa didn't act like a mother and I don't think she was as protective of Maddie as she should be either. Saludos desde México. Lamento lo de tu madre :(

[@Heeyitsmika]

people can say that all they want, but everyword comming from M&M about their mom has been nothing but positive. For them she is supportive, caring, attentive and the best mom they have. thats all that matters.

[@meeks96]

My relationship with my sister mirrors maddie and Mackenzie’s. My sister (5 at the time) basically raised me (3 at the time) until I was 12. It makes me so sad.

[@JuliaBoateng]

Aww wow, I’m so sorry to hear that! I didn’t say this in the video but I can kinda “reverse relate.” My brother is 6 years older than me, and my parents usually worked until evening for a few years, so he took care of me a lot after school. He missed out on a lot bc he had to look after me. I always felt bad for older siblings who had to sacrifice in some way to look after us younger ones. I hope when I have children I don’t repeat that cycle. Thank you so much for your comment!

[@mr1m704]

Trauma isn't easy to get over I had 2 traumatic different incidents and my parents also divorced when I was still in elementary Till this day trauma haunts me it terrifies me I've had constant triggers so trauma can heal but it'll still terrify you it will still scare you but you have to be happy so you won't remember it that's the only way.I feel terrible for the fact that Maddie didn't have a proper childhood it's heartbreaking she was so young and for her to deal with all this by dancing that's why she was extremely competitive it was her coping mechanism.

[@sashaking1115]

I’m so so sorry you lost your mum. May she rest in peace

[@detwynner5]

this hits hard after kenzie released anatomy.

[@logger1176]

what you said ~13:30 about the loss of a parent causing resiliency really resonated with me. i lost my father at age 2, so i don't really remember him, i only feel his absence and i have always been called an "old soul" or mature for my age, myself and my brothers have heard this a lot. im turning 18 soon so we will all be adults, but i really do feel this in my own life

[@sunnylemon5626]

I’m so sorry about your mom 😔

[@yolysantana7525]

I think many kids can identify with not having a "ideal" home life and especially kids growing up in inner cities or of lower economic status. I myself growing up in this type of environment, and in fact finding it more uncommon for me to identify a two parent household or a long term marriage. Of course every person wishes to have the ideal existence and family life so I can understand it affecting her. At one point when you mentioned her mother quitting her job to be able to assist since her father wasn't being responsible...I couldn't help but think it was fortunate that her mother could quit as we know there's many children having to fend for themselves at early ages due to survival and parents having to work to make ends meet. Despite not coming from the "ideal" family I always found myself fortunate to have a caregiver who could be available to me and be there to support me.

[@ninavanwijk3569]

Julia, this video was the perfect length! It's really not an issue if they're a bit longer, they're great to listen to and if you have a lot to say I'd rather you take the time to say it all!! Also I just wanted to say that through the way you talk about these things, I can feel your heart for God shine through and it's super inspiring. Keep it up!!🤍

[@JuliaBoateng]

Thank you so much!! 🤍🤍

[@Millen_Lamas82]

These siblings are so strong.

[@badnewsbears4918]

i’m so sorry about your mom! ❤️

[@meganalice9100]

Fantastic video!! I loved your breakdown and use of articles! I learned a lot in an entertaining way

[@JuliaBoateng]

Aww thanks Megan! :)

[@itstonycia]

I’ve always wondered about their dad situation

[@cabbage_patch_child]

as an older sibling who's parents have gotten divorced this really speaks to me. me and my older brothers watched each other and our little sister in order. eldest watches second oldest who watches me who watches baby sister. dad had sole custody and mom is a crazy and neglectful woman who only paid attention to us when we were good enough for cute baby photos or holiday photos. dad however was very old fashion and neglectful emotionally. he only provided the bare necesities and said he did what he could despite bragging about having the means to do more which is very disheartening to hear as a person who has autism and mental illnesses that he could have taken me to get help for

[@Carelesshilton]

Ah man as someone without a mom ur mom sounded so sweet 🥺♥️