OCD3: What is Harm OCD?

[@smartyman27]

The second most comforting thing about this vid is scrolling down and seeing other's who deal with this too

[@moodface8463]

With you bruv

[@Smiley35S]

Gosh it's awful@

[@ziyeren5509]

Youre all not alone! We re here Together

[@quintaviswiggins2204]

I said the same thing I've been having obsessions about harming violently and sexually and I can't find out why but it's comforting to know that you're not alone

[@nieky6000]

All in one boat brother stay strong

[@amberbray6037]

I remember my first time feeling Harm OCD. I was sitting on the couch petting my cat and I thought, "She is weaker than me and I could snap her neck." Now, I understand it wasn't a desire to hurt her or anyone else. It was the fear of knowing I could.

[@Liam-bq1qp]

@Madison Crocker It's happening to me right now. The quarantine is making it worst. It hurts so much...

[@gracebreland414]

@@Liam-bq1qp Oh my god same! I just wanna cry and I hate this....I hope everything turns out all right for you

[@craulohahahahahah8923]

@@gracebreland414 @Liam Vaersey I too am suffering from this. I'm 14 and I am an ex-athiest. Because of becoming an athiest, I become overly skeptical. A thought popped into my mind that the universe is not created for us, that we have no purpose(it's called Nihilism btw). I got over it and thought: "Well we got no purpose, but we can make our own purpose, do whatever we want." After Nihilism I suffered much worse. I experienced Solipsism, the thought of nothing exists except one's self. I had it treated by hanging out with my friends, going to different places that I don't know of,and my friends making remember cringey moments(the one that ended it all). And now this. Harm OCD. It was triggered because my friend shared a movie on Facebook called "The Human Centipede". So I watched the trailer and found out that it was about blah blah killer stuff. While watching it, I thought to myself "What if I become the killer." It was not a big deal at first but when me and my brother were cooking rice, I saw the kitchen knives. The thought came back to me, "What if I become a killer?" "I could grab a knife and stab him now." I was crying in my head. The next morning, I woke up earlier than my other family members. My brother sleeps on top of me (we sleep on a double-deck). While he was sleeping the thoughts hit me again. I grabbed the scissors and tried to stab him but I didn't do it. I love him. I cried. I did jumping jacks to get over it but it didn't work. I decided to grab the bible. There was nothing that could help me. But then I thought of God. I thought of God's love for me. I prayed to make it over and it helped me a little. I slept again. Then I found videos on youtube on how to get rid of unwanted thoughts. It helped me but the thought still came back. Then I found out that it was Harm OCD. So I searched and searched and it's helping me now. I hope-- No! Not hope! I KNOW! I know that we will get over this. And also the fucking Quarantine makes worse so yeah. This is such a long reply but I know you all understand. Thanks for reading this (if you made it this far). Edit: I didn't actually tried to stab my brother. My body just wanted to feel how it's like to hold scissors in that position. I cried beacause I realized that it was fucked up.

[@JoseFlores-ye4mq]

Liam Vaersey it’s all going to be okay I was scared when I was told schools were closing because I had the fear I would hurt my parents since I was going to be stuck at home with them, but then after being at home for almost a month I realized it’s not you it’s your mind that tricks you into thinking you’re a serial killer. it’s all going to be okay you’re not alone believe me

[@tangrey6208]

We should create a group for this, I also suffer from this

[@TheAlaskanfrog]

I wish I had seen this video when I was 11-16. It's was hell, and I was sure I was a monster. I wanted so bad to make it stop, I couldn't handle living with it. I remember having a knife in my pocket around a girlfriend, and I just broke down sobbing. I though I was doomed to become a serial killer. I found help, meds, and mindfulness. I want to share a message of hope to others suffering

[@chadfreshkidd5728]

David Arnold thanks for sharing your story it helps to hear that im not the only one suffering this. Mine are as bad as yours to the point where I would cry over a thought of hurting someone. Everything I try fails. Hearing other testimonies only gives me little relief

[@shy-annb.21]

David Arnold what treatment did you get to help?

[@FordManiac76]

Serotonin reuptake inhibitors are very successful in treating harm ocd. Have had harm ocd for over 22 years - took Paxil for 12 now on Cipralex for 2

[@gingerellacookie5641]

David Arnold if u cried that proved u could never do that. Now it scared me because i actually had a lot to be really angry about

[@angelakkhalil]

David Arnold how can you cope having killing thoughts about your family? The people you love most? I cant take it anymore, its killing my life

[@vishansingh7641]

Someone in the comments said "it's not the desire to hurt someone else, it's the fear that you know you could". I think this is fear, because right after my first panic attack these thoughts started to come.

[@Vigilante80085]

Bull

[@elizabethnithav5946]

This was exactly me,but I read some articles and started mediation and realized they are just thoughts they don't define me, I will go to therapy too when I have the money but I already feeling much better

[@pnjodaro]

Same. I too got them right after mu panic attack.

[@LouSamurai]

I started having intrusive thoughts after my very first panic attack also..

[@Asiankid11537]

My thoughts got so bad at one point that I started avoiding my family and was really cold towards them. I did that because I realised that my thoughts were more frequent with the people I cared about. So I figured that it would be best to dettach myself from my family enough to make me not love them so that I wouldn't get impulses to hurt them.

[@nikkig3799]

Been there it's rough. Hugs my friend. Practice loving yourself

[@jenrod8549]

Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them. Just know that we’re in this together 😌

[@Asiankid11537]

@@jenrod8549 I actually am in a much better place now and would never in a million years have thought that I would be feeling like this back then. The thoughts are still there but I playfully dismiss them like "lmao okay? If I do it, then i do it" the part of me that taunts me about it stops repeating the thought because it thinks that it doesnt bother me. I'm so sorry that you're suffering like this. I know how bad it can get and especially with this quarantine and everything. I'm always there if you need someone to talk to! Please dont feel hopeless in this

[@jenrod8549]

Autumn May thanks a lot! Yeah I like just started balling out crying at how bad it was cuz it was all day. But I feel a little better and it’s been hard these days for me to sleep and eat idk quarantine hasn’t been good. I first got ocd last year and it went and came back at the beginning of the year but I talked to myself and felt great after then it started again a few days ago.... idk been hard to get out of bed or even sleep

[@chelzyramirez3663]

@@Asiankid11537 how are you now? I’ve been dealing with this for 3 months

[@rosebudd5724]

What a relief it is to know, that those who don’t have Harm OCD have these thoughts too on occasion. But as these thoughts are not generally talked about, we didn’t know! I guess others just shrug them off, whereas those with Harm OCD become very distressed by them and so ruminate and obsess over them. Either way, it can be devastating to the sufferer and severely impact their life.

[@KhanCarnivore]

Absolutely. Exposure therapy is so damn useful though. I suffered with harm OCD for about a year or so before getting help, and now 3 months after starting therapy, I'm pretty much over it. Incredible how the brain works.

[@tommyp3611]

I have this theme of OCD but I would consider myself fully recoverd from it. I used to be scared of even looking in the kitchen because I thought I may stab my family and later my wife. It would go away and come back. Then I got some help from a proper clinical psychologist and with acceptance and commitment therapy, managed to get back into life and the thoughts just faded away. Yes they come up often but they don't bother me. I say "thanks mind but I'm OK and busy doing whatever." To anyone suffering out there - do not settle for anything less than an top psychologist...you will get through it I promise. Remember your mind sometimes is not always right. Be kind to yourself.

[@vishansingh7641]

I was very sick. One night I had my first panic attack, and 2 weeks after that I started to get these thoughts. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one struggling. However, it's still a very scary thing. I've been unemployed for months so there's nothing to really look forward to when the next day comes. And during the day my mind just wonders off and I think about all these horrible scenarios. These thoughts are very intrusive and sometimes it seems like I have no control. Maybe if we were more open about this in public we won't be so afraid. Let's all imagine that we're in a room together suffering from this. And let's hold each other's hands.

[@AnthonyGarcia-ow8td]

I'm going through the same shit.. it fucking sucks !!!

[@jenrod8549]

Vishan Singh Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them sometimes. Just know that we’re in this together 😌 just take all the bad thoughts in and breathe in and out and tell yourself you’re capable of doing it but that’s not who you are and you have a decision to do it or not and no thought is gonna make you do. Only you can decide if you want to and your brain is just playing games on you so just joke around and tell ya brain to stop playing around and being silly

[@ivancastaneda1437]

We in this togetherr love

[@angelakkhalil]

You are not alone. Hang on. It’s all temporary. Just imagine if you were happy nothing of this will happen.

[@pnjodaro]

Same mine started with a panic attack too! 3 days ago.....i just hoep my mom and dad let me see a psychiatrist

[@poombats1740]

I am so happy this exists, ive been so incredibly scared. This calms me down. Unfortunately for just a small period :(

[@angelakkhalil]

You are not alone okay? Fighting This is only a small part of you, part that is angry and defensive to pain, and you will heal from it

[@a_diamond]

You aren't alone, and OCD is treatable/manageable..

[@rvallozzi]

I feel so much better now knowing what I have.. I was so worried I was going crazy or something. I was even worried to type it online in fear of it affirming my worst fears. It was so bad it was debilitating.. seeing this makes me feel so much better about this condition and seeing I can get help and it’s treatable makes me feel so much better.. I hope we can all get through this together

[@mariahselena9589]

How are you now?🤍

[@rvallozzi]

@@mariahselena9589 I’m doing much better now thank you.

[@phillipjordan4297]

@@rvallozzi can you give me any advice? I’m struggling

[@rvallozzi]

@@phillipjordan4297 just know these thoughts are normal. That they will pass.. and you are not crazy! What would help me is I would carry a plastic knife in my pocket. And every time I felt those thoughts about harm, I’d grab the plastic knife. After a few weeks it became nonsensical. Also don’t be afraid to show loved ones this video and let them know what you are going through.

[@kristymarie6065]

@@rvallozzi glad your doing better rob. It takes time. I find staying busy helps too

[@izaiahibanez4691]

My ocd started when I was by myself watching a documentary about Jeffrey dalhmer and about halfway through I got a thought that was like “what if my mind turned evil and did something like this” it freaked me so much for the rest of the day I had so much anxiety this video helped me a lot I’m only 14 dealing with this it’s so awful

[@Miraculous_Edits-k6c]

I blame criminal minds and Hannibal. I started watching these shows and that’s how I started having harm ocd.

[@SP-mf9sh]

This was me at 16 after seeing sweeney todd

[@kristymarie6065]

I hope you’re doing better now

[@user-hx7mi7ml8u]

Don’t watch movies about disturbing, evil, violent, or horror topics. It’s just disgusting and not good for anyone’s mind, especially sensitive people’s.

[@johnathanblackmon1370]

@@user-hx7mi7ml8u wish I would’ve read this comment like a month ago I was bored Bc I had covid and watched a movie called ‘The Call” now I’m having horrible intrusive thoughts and 3:59am it’s horrible

[@shannonbear8807]

after i've watched a few of his videos, this thought occured to me: OCD makes u obsessed with whatever annoys u or whatever u care about. it's like an amplifier. if you care so much about religion, u will get religious OCD. if you care so much about your family's safety u will get harm OCD. if you're so annoyed by your imprefections u will get body dysmorphic OCD. knowledge about OCD helped me differenciate between my OCD thoughts and my normal thoughts. i am not my OCD and OCD doesn't define me, others should be aware of this aswell

[@demon_hawkeye5269]

I have harm and pedophilia ocd and I know it's an ocd thought but my mind is so wierd it just goes but what if it is real and they actualy are in danger most commonly after the horrifying thought i imagine the punishment that comes after which just makes it worse because then I think oh you care more about the punishment then them and then I try to show my self that I do care about my family by going they've done this and that and have raised me from nothing so why should I do anything to harm them which just in turn makes things worse because it just ends up with me thinking oh you only care about what they've done for you and not about them it's an undefeatable endless cycle

[@shannonbear8807]

demon_hawkeye ' ah so basically u have this intrusive thought abt harming others and u freak out thinking "what if i actually harm them" ? I thought abt it and it kinda makes sense why u would freak out abt it. i'm pretty sure u have acted out on some of ur compulsions wether it's compulsive cleaning or counting, so when u have the intrusive thought abt harming, ur subscious mind is afraid that u will act upon that compulsion the same way u acted upon the other ones. the good news is that, it's only an obsession not a compulsion, and u habe the ability to control OCD instead of letting it control u.

[@robertanderson6730]

I totally agree; and you seem to be a very observant and collective person with a tremendous amount of insight. .

[@centorce6343]

I am scared I have these bad thoughts and I was very scared. It’s like I have an urge to kill someone but I’m fighting it and it drives me crazy. I had a panic attack yesterday where I thought I was going to kill someone.

[@centorce6343]

Plz someone have an answer in very scared

[@dramuah4891]

It's ok I deal with that too and get never ending anxiety

[@jenrod8549]

Centorce Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them sometimes. Just know that we’re in this together 😌 just take all the bad thoughts in and breathe in and out and tell yourself you’re capable of doing it but that’s not who you are and you have a decision to do it or not and no thought is gonna make you do. Only you can decide if you want to and your brain is just playing games on you so just joke around and tell ya brain to stop playing around and being silly

[@putaizzy7689]

The Meme Queen I’m having this really bad rn I’m terrified did yours get better?

[@Sunshine-ku4op]

Same thing is happening with me🥺

[@vasan8310]

This Doc is so great and hits the problem of intrusive/obsessive thoughts head-on. I see it as a spiritual approach with a scientific platform. Thanks a lot sir!!!

[@SP-mf9sh]

I had this for one year when I was 16. So scary I thought I was becoming a psycho. Wish I saw this then.

[@isabellawillberg3872]

How r u now

[@SP-mf9sh]

@@isabellawillberg3872 still crazy but I don't have anything serious. I still have ocd a little bit. Deep breathing prevents the obsessive thoughts.

[@isabellawillberg3872]

@@SP-mf9sh have you or r u on meds? Sorry if that’s personal you don’t have to answer

[@SP-mf9sh]

@@isabellawillberg3872 no lol I don't have those thoughts anymore. It was just from some sort of anxiety.

[@ghoul6519]

@@SP-mf9shmay i ask what you did to over come it? i’m currently trying to overcome it and it feels impossible to escape it but u seem to have gotten better . anything u can tell me ?

[@harshmalhotra3971]

I’m successfully battling it. My theme of obsession changes with time, but I’m copin with it.

[@RahulSharma-dq4yr]

Hey dude how are you now

[@Mikem-mq2hh]

Spectacular session. I've had OCD for a long time, Harm OCD for 5 years after a mass shooting, and ERP worked incredibly. I am a lifelong gun owner. I was recently prescribed medical marijuana. I had to reboot my ERP. Go figure, OCD, Harm OCD and the basic paranoia of marijuana. Hahahaha. I backed off the THC% and upped the CBD%. But accepting, and dealing with Harm OCD through exposure is both phenomenal and a Godsend. Thank You again for posting!!!

[@Mikem-mq2hh]

From what I've read and experienced, yes. I could do the same with a homemade bomb, knife, etc, etc. Stephen King has severe harmful thoughts and turns them into horror classics. Anyone, and pretty much everyone, can have the thought, but a person with OCD just obsesses on it over and over. Remember, having a thought is not bad, its what we do as a result of the thought that counts.

[@Andrew-sj9tr]

Did the weed help? I’m confused

[@SavageCommentaryOriginal]

thc has proven very very bad for mine, because thc chemically does this thing where it sticks on one thought in a way, like when you have that feeling like something is mind blowing because you fixate on it... i love parts of thc, but it is very very bad for my ocd. can't enjoy it at all anymore, which is a bit sad.

[@DonPnk1111]

I've had a lot of anxiety last year...At the beginning i had the thoughts that i was gonna die unexpectedly from heart attack...e.t.c.Then I remember one day I woke up and I was afraid that I I was gonna hurt myself...Day by day the thoughts were ruining my days...I was afraid that I was gonna kill people that I loved...I was sure that I was going insane and crazy every day that passed...I couldn't stand it anymore and seeked help...I went to a psychiatrist and explained me that it's more common than I think and that the thoughts were because mainly of the anxiety I've been through and they were only in my head!He also gave me medication and 1 month after I seeked help i was finally feeling better and the thoughts began to fade away little by little day by day...Now these thoughts still hunt me sometimes but the difference is that I know why they occur and that they are 100% FAKE...!The thoughts never disappeared completely...but if it happens that you're suffering remembe!Never in a million years will the thoughts that hunt you become reality!

[@luh4682]

you fully recovered?

[@hueso5071]

Same. I recently had intrusive obsessive thoughts that i was going to have a heart attack, then about self harm then harming my loved ones. It jumps from subject to another, I'm fully aware these thoughts aren't me so that gives me some relief. I think it has a lot to do with stress and anxiety at least for me. I started having these when I was 28, before that i was mentally stable and sometimes I feel perfectly fine and feel like the old me. I'm hoping i can pull through and feel like the old me again.

[@DebaPratim.]

​@@hueso5071Are you fine now? I'm currently going through some harm OCD, like thoughts of fuckin killing my beloved mumma( fuckin don't wanna type it ) I hate so much these thoughts....answer please,

[@epmrecords3364]

Do you guys always have these thoughts or urges to Harm your love ones every single day I keep having these thoughts I get scared and I tell myself I’m going crazy these thoughts are so terrible

[@kailam.3163]

Yeah I get that too

[@zachhoward9867]

This is just some days for me, other days I am a schizophrenic, other days some movie monster I’m worried about, I obsess over errthang

[@iitsactuallytj]

Hey how are you doing now? It’s been years, I hope you’re feeling well

[@stanlie4409]

I will not own a gun or any weapons because of this. This helped but now my brain has come up with the thought of choking people. How would you treat the thought of choking people? This is always about the people closest to me that I love so much and I feel like I have urges or visions of choking them. This makes me very upset and usually I will sit on my hands or put my hands in situations where this would not be possible, I even have had thoughts or visions of cutting off my hands so that this would not be possible but I would never do that. I am going to beat this. I also have contamination OCD

[@hollyglenzer6001]

Stanlie, you need support and a counselor can help you.

[@polyglotfrog]

Hi Stanley, I am a sufferer as well, please get help with therapy it will get better! just the thought of it makes us suffer and the brain, doing its job, notices the danger/anxiety we feel and records it to remind us every time. Actually our brain ist just doing its job in a great manner (just the wrong way), you need to learn to be ok with the thoughts its like a bad movie playing in your mind. REMINDER: because we CARE so much, we stress about it! All the best to you or other companions going through the same. Hug!

[@natp3408]

I have been undergoing treatment for multiple subsets of OCD including contamination and counting, but Harm is the worst I have endured (still battling). What I have discovered with this and other subsets is that if you manage to rid or diminish one obsession, left unchecked it will just be replaced by another, usually within the same subset. I have had OCD since I was kindergarten age but was not officially diagnosed until my early teens and did not start receiving proper treatment until I was in my early 20's. Our brains are kinda wired differently in a way that makes the feeling of "certainty" an almost alien concept. I understand I will not hurt anyone but that understanding is being constantly challenged by my violent thoughts and sometimes the more I "check" in ways like the video explained, the less confident I feel so I have to keep ruminating and checking. Medication, talking to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist and learning CBT and ERP really does help. Mine will probably never go away but it is a lot more manageable and I was diagnosed as a severe case. I hope you found treatment that is working for you now.

[@jenrod8549]

Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them. I’ve also thought of hurting my hands to make it go away like to put them in boiling water so the feeling would stop. At least I know I’m not in this alone..

[@kristymarie6065]

@@jenrod8549 mine came back after pandemic too

[@zuzu091]

I wish i had seen this video 7 months ago, i got through 3 stages of this fucker OCD and didn't know what was wrong with me: First was the suicide part when i was afraid that i will yeet my wrist or that i will jump in front of a car Second was the part when i thinked that i would be possesed by a demon And now the part when i'm afraid i will hurt my loved ones, but now that i've found this video i'm like 75% less anxious. I now understand to accept my thoughts even if they are sadistic and irrational to say. Thank you so much

[@shannonbear8807]

hey there, can we be friends? i suffer from OCD too and we kinda have the same personality so watchu think?

[@zuzu091]

Yea why not, we can be friends

[@shannonbear8807]

@@zuzu091 great lmao uh do u have discord, IG or smth?

[@zuzu091]

@@shannonbear8807 hey so uh sorry cuz i didn't responded i wasgone with my friends into a vacantion if you want to talk you can add me on discord here is my username: ZuZu091#0735

[@legendarybabul705]

How are you now?

[@angelakkhalil]

I think one of the good healthy things to do is to actually laugh at ourselves when we are having these thoughts like yeahh okay, I will go and harm my family that is so ridiculous, I would never do such thing even if sometimes out of anger and repression I thought of it. Dont be afraid, you are not alone and we are all not okay but we are strong enough together. Share your thoughts here whenever you feel like it

[@luh4682]

how are you now?

[@Deerfromspace]

Hello angela, i’m lebanese too, dealing with harm ocd since three months and its really bad 🥲

[@queenangelise7284]

Oh God I'm 12 almost 13 and have Harm OCD intrusive thoughts. I have thoughts of harming and killing my family, people around me, and even my pets. I would never, and controlling it can be hard sometimes. Im glad other people feel my pain and Im not alone. Smh.

[@sipstea6320]

How are you now?

[@grayshus6706]

Not a day has passed in over 3 years when I haven't thoughts of suicide because of this disorder.

[@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns]

How are you feeling now?

[@angelakkhalil]

You are not alone, I am passing through my hardest days right now but I deserve good life, I keep telling myself I don’t deserve this, that i didnt ask for it but it came and i am strong and it will pass. Please stay tender to yourself even on the sickest days 💕

[@yondergirl83]

Same here my friend. I did not sign up for this 😢

[@JamesAnderson-cc6bz]

Just the intrusive thought provoking you means you are really a life adorer, OCD is but a pure illusion, even if it stayed with you one hundred years, it will never happen, so acceptance, mindfulness, and exposure without compulsing is gonna make that OCD retreat back into the shadows

[@user-tl6he1mn7s]

I have depersonalization disorder an harm ocd an it's hell but I want to get better. It has shown me that I love my family more then my own life it self. An I love you all to I understand what this feels like I want you all to know your not alone. We all can get better an we will you'll see. "You grow through what you go through" "if there's a way in there's a way out" We have the opportunity to talk to each other on here an that's good. We are one we are together. ♥️ Love you all Rao bless you all ♥️

[@elizabethwesley1014]

sometimes i feel like i actually want to hurt someome, is the feeling, and that's is what scared me the most, cuz i believe i am a good person, but i get this feeling when i have a thought or a imagen in my head, and i feel like the anger or idk how to explain, like when you fight a lot with a person and you want to punch him in the face, that anger, a feeling of i want to do that, but is pretty obvius that i do not want to do that, and thats what scared me the most, i hope somebody here will answer me and tell me this is normal cuz im eating my mind and i feel like im a bad person

[@nathancarpenter1201]

Yes this happens to me too

[@jeffreyschueler2223]

The more I care about someone the more likely I am to have these horrible violent thoughts towards them. It's as if my brain is fucking with me.

[@martymartmusic]

I'm not using compulsions to alleviate the anxiety and they wouldn't even help anyway. I went against my OCD and now I feel doomed like no matter what I'm going to force this thought on me and never let it go and ultimately force myself to act out this thought. It's the last thing I'd ever want to do and terrifies me, but I can't and won't let it go... when I get distracted I purposefully bring it back up. The fear of forcing myself to think it and act out is keeping it going. How does one deal with this or do ERP for this? It's not about triggers, hiding weapons, or wondering if I'm a bad person or want to. I know I'm a good person and would never want to hurt anyone or anything. It is the fear that just because I said I have to do something , I will do it or force myself to think about it until I can no longer take it. No mattee what I do, i just come back to the thought "it doesn't matter, you made up your mind, you have to act out, there is no escape, you will force yourself to think this and act out..." Please, anyone. I need help. No one accepts my insurance and I can't afford help. My job, marriage and life are on the line right now...

[@dl5fse990]

I’m not sure what to do to help you but I can’t imagine what your situation must be like, especially considering help isn’t available to you Try looking at this article which could assist you with getting help with your low resources psychcentral.com/blog/what-to-do-when-you-cant-afford-therapy/

[@bb8m822]

How are you now?

[@sanagourami]

I know it's been 5 years but how are u now? I have exactly the same thing! It feels like I need to hold myself or need to ask others to hold me so I won't snap

[@Nerdpainter]

i used to check on my dad in the middle of the night to make sure i hadn't killed him in my sleep :( that was when it was at its worst.

[@chadfreshkidd5728]

Lill Painter I'd cry over a vision of me hurting someone (that's me now) know that you are a good person

[@Nerdpainter]

:( its really horrible. and i couldn't tell anyone because i was sure they would think I'm a psychopath

[@chadfreshkidd5728]

Lill Painter same here. I had them since I was around 8 or 9 and I just found out about them a few months ago. I wouldn't wish this on my worst of enemies as it's one of the most unpleasant feeling you can experience in LIFE

[@Nerdpainter]

:( yea it is. I'm sorry you've felt with it for so long. I'm thinking of doing a video on my channel about this. i don't think many people know about it.

[@garryyulius727]

Hey both of u , i cry at the midnight and really scary that i probably kill my family member with a knive , so scary but thats only the thought , how r u today btw?

[@GarryLarryBarry]

So helpful, thank you.

[@luissabani6961]

Can you have different kinds? Like for the most part i have harm ocd but sometimes i also have existential? And sometimes they cross over each other! Its very scary

[@soph403]

yep! super common to have multiple ocd themes.

[@scottrhinehart9705]

I'm 15 and I'm going through this harm ocd and I'm crying right now nc i can't stop thinking about harming my cat and I'm scared amd don't know what to do and i just want this to end

[@repfity11]

stab something else like a sock or something i thought of it before

[@queenangelise7284]

Same thought here. Just make sure to control yourself and just pet him/her. No harm. Take care.

[@proto4062]

I’m 14, and i am suffering from this. I’ve been going through this for months now. Since october 2019. When i’m in class i’m always thinking about if i’d stab my classmate with my lead pencil or if i would hurt my parents/siblings in their sleep. Its been really eating me away. On the bright side, I’ve gotten a lot more creative with my life since. I’ve been trying to start a work out routine, drawing some more, creating my own story, and drawing. I’ve been doing anything i possibly can do to not hurt anyone. Please help

[@BoyonMoon-bs9ms]

Going trough the same thing. The thought of harming someone i love is just creepy and very stressfull. When i receive love from my mom i feel guilty because i dont deserve that love. I dont know what to do

[@jenrod8549]

World of Arkham Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them sometimes. Just know that we’re in this together 😌 just take all the bad thoughts in and breathe in and out and tell yourself you’re capable of doing it but that’s not who you are and you have a decision to do it or not and no thought is gonna make you do. Only you can decide if you want to and your brain is just playing games on you so just joke around and tell ya brain to stop playing around and being silly

[@jenrod8549]

xAndrzwx Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them sometimes. Just know that we’re in this together 😌 just take all the bad thoughts in and breathe in and out and tell yourself you’re capable of doing it but that’s not who you are and you have a decision to do it or not and no thought is gonna make you do. Only you can decide if you want to and your brain is just playing games on you so just joke around and tell ya brain to stop playing around and being silly

[@jenrod8549]

xAndrzwx Autumn May Michelle Suzzane I suffer this too and I’m just breaking down and trying to find a way to stop constantly thinking about it. It’s like it’s every moment of the day and night and I feel like crap for thinking it and idk what to do. Quarantine has made it worse and I haven’t had it for a while and it came back stronger and I don’t understand why I have them. Idk how to deal with them sometimes. Just know that we’re in this together 😌 just take all the bad thoughts in and breathe in and out and tell yourself you’re capable of doing it but that’s not who you are and you have a decision to do it or not and no thought is gonna make you do. Only you can decide if you want to and your brain is just playing games on you so just joke around and tell ya brain to stop playing around and being silly

[@craulohahahahahah8923]

I'm suffering from this too and I just turned 15. I just had this last month and I am managing it. If you want someone to talk to you can message me in Facebook. And since we're at the same age, we can probably understand each other the most.

[@tagthetag5156]

I have self-harm ocd and sometimes I lay awake at night fearing that I might kill myself

[@WitchChangkyun]

Every day feels like the day when I might loose control and decide to hurt people 😞😔

[@mariemmm4523]

Do you ever have to hold onto something because of how strong the urge is?

[@Life-io5ok]

I’m scared that my parents wouldn’t believe it was harm ocd and just me as a person, but I also suffer with other subsets of OCD so they may not

[@blakemyers7136]

I'm dealing with this really bad but it seems every time I bring this up to a doctor they wanna send me to a mental hospital for schizophrenia, I just have the fear of like losing control of myself and hurting someone but I've never done it and sometimes I have an impulse to like give someone a hug if I'm panicking about It or hiding sharp objects from myself, I have panic attacks and anxiety disorder so I'm not sure what to do at this point it just feels like the end of the world and I dont know what to do any advice will help

[@TheSpyderZombie]

Blake Myers I have been dealing with this for about 6 years and I’m at a place in my life where I’m feeling quite peaceful and content. My advice would be to definitely see a counsellor or therapist to talk to about harm OCD and anxiety. As weird as it sounds doctors can be hit and miss with mental health diagnosing, I have had some confusing discussions with doctors in the past, or moments where I felt like I’ve hit a wall with them. Don’t be scared to seek out new doctors or therapy if you find the people you’re with aren’t working for you. We all require different connections to work more progressively. When I found a good counsellor and doctor I was able to “rewire” my thought patterns through CBT and some “Mindful Meditation.” Some people take medication and some people use other methods to combat it, whether it’s herbal remedies, or keeping themselves busy with hobbies or exercise. Find what works best for you! Long story short it is very achievable to be able live peacefully alongside the head goblins.

[@TheSpyderZombie]

Sorry not trying to get long winded, but in the video he mentions combating fears with light hearted jests or jokes and honestly it works amazing. You do it enough and it becomes almost instinctual that you sass yourself anytime you hear an intrusive thought. I do the same when I feel a panic attack coming on, and tell it to come get me. It takes practice, but you can make anxiety your biotch.

[@MertikayyYT]

I would literally listen to people talking to me and literally saying in my brain "Don't punch them in the face" Glad I'm not alone.

[@DebaPratim.]

I wanna tell everyone while it may not help 100% but still it will help so much , whenever distressing thoughts arises , just let it come and watch them without identifying and judgement, just watch them, even if it Heinous, anything, just let it come, don't force it to go away, it'll only come more if you force it to go away, remember that , .....Just let those arise and watch them like a movie 🍿

[@monicad.615]

I have harm ocd. I have my favorite weapons at a friend's house right. I often watch death tapes from the 80s and 90s. I watch stuff on live leak and ogrish to feel better about my own violence. I grew up hurting other kids and torturing and killing animals. I practice hunting and "justifiable self harm," tattoos, piercing, popping, sewing my own stitches... It's hard. It's hard going places anymore. I have very little friends and my mom and grandma only understand...

[@Andrew-sj9tr]

Mummy Cat have you ever seen a therapist or psychologist?

[@SavageCommentaryOriginal]

a lot of pyscopaths hurt animals when younger, but you are on the right path dealing with it, you can beat it friend. Could be chemical, get help with the heavy load from a professional.

[@dino_nerdd]

the definition also inculdes the fear of harming yourself, but why is that never talked about

[@karkinos716]

U guys this just started happening a couple weeks ago. I'm so scared all the time and idk if I can get help. I don't have the money. I'm just so scared

[@positivefraud3012]

I feel so fucked and guilty about these thoughts i hate them so much, I’ve gotten so used to them popping up in my brain to the point where they appear to be normal when they are not at all. Its so frustrating to get rid of them. I love everyone and never wish to do harm to anyone at all especially my family. I am only 16

[@hanna4350]

Gosh! I think, im sick now :( Their's a little voices on my head always whisper to do bad things like when im holding a knife, the voice says i should stab someone (ex: my father) and will see the blood flowing. Also when im on the higher places like on top of the building, the voice says i should jump hahaha. Even when im riding a vehicle and the voice whispers again, 'You should jump and let's see what will happen' This is too dangerous. I want to get out. Im sorry, i didn't mean to have thisㅠㅠ

[@user-hx7mi7ml8u]

My huge question is, that no one has an answer for: “Why is it “natural” though “for all humans to have these thoughts?” It doesn’t feel “natural” to me to have them because it’s so awful and opposite of my sensitive, compassionate character. Something so disturbing doesn’t seem like it should be labeled as “natural.” Is it because we are “naturally”selfish people and “naturally” get pissed off, annoyed at people that interfere in our space, cause us problems etc..so, the conflict within us about them doing so, and not being able to control the situation, comes out in extreme, unsettling thoughts? Or, why does the brain go to the degree of having such extreme violent thoughts, instead of, just ones like “pinching” someone instead of, “stabbing” them? How can you “joke” to someone about having violent thoughts? “Hey, haha! I have thoughts of stabbing people, that’s so funny right?” The human mind is a really screwed up place sometimes. 😰

[@kristymarie6065]

That’s my biggest questions. Makes no sense

[@brightmooninthenight2111]

I don't think it is natural. Before I had harm ocd I didn't not have these thoughts. Now the more I don't want to have them the more I have them. I've had horrific thoughts around little kids, and the more afraid I am to have those thoughts the worse they get. I also have a new profoundly disturbing thought that my harm OCD is a literal demon and I am possessed by it and that makes the OCD thoughts way scarier

[@iitsactuallytj]

@@brightmooninthenight2111hey how are you doing now? Feeling any better?

[@brightmooninthenight2111]

@@iitsactuallytj yeah actually. I'm living in a communal botanical garden as a work trade in the mountains of North Carolina. And Im doing way way better. I am not having mental breakdowns anymore. And I'm less depressed and less anxiety ridden. The isolation was making everything worse. Now I'm surrounded by beautiful mountain forest and I do community projects everyday and attend events regularly. I still have terrible intrusive thoughts but I find it's a lot easier to ignore them now that I'm not isolated and life is more meaningful. Yeah I almost caved in and nearly decided to take pharmaceutical pills but just living a different lifestyle is what I needed and better than any pill. I know that I'll always have OCD but it doesn't have to rule my life like it did before

[@brightmooninthenight2111]

@@iitsactuallytj thanks for asking. I hope you are doing well too

[@Leetowners]

I have POCD and people constantly misunderstand it and call me a pdfphile Which really hurts me and makes me even feel worse about myself As if ocd has not done that enough already 😔

[@edward2364]

Does anyone convince yourself that are hearing things but they’re actually intrusive thoughts

[@lochmarnegoat9812]

Yeah, I believe that's common.

[@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns]

I had this ocd when I was a teen.

[@SavageCommentaryOriginal]

the brain is what they call plastic, i.e neuroplasticity is the ability to rewire the brain, our brains overreact to potential to harm others and the opportunity presenting itself. personally my flight or fight response became acute due to trauma which led to ptsd. when the threat was removed harm ocd started appearing. so now things like knives which used to defense options still hold an association in brain in their capacity to perform violence. After watching this and a few other videos I had a really really good night last night. I didn't react to the ocd with panic, I just let it it hit, then i chose to not react, not try to ignore, not try to fight, just acknowledge, like ok I see you. Like, I see you and you just are what you are, and that's all and it's ok. then i i made myself laugh like oh yeah, after I do what it's saying i won't stop there i'll just keep going until i'm registered as a wmd and recruited by a secret government task force and they call me captain ptsd-knife-kill. then when I looked again I was sitting sipping tea. laughing at it and then looking at how silly my brain can be helps, then laughing and laughing some more, till im smiling.

[@anxietypancake7384]

i have it and i never see anyone talk about it :(

[@mayabeckett2162]

Ok so I match most of these but the worst thing for my is emotionally like I think if I say no to someone what I think what if I hurt there feelings

[@starsoftheworld5150]

I am having this problems right now it's sacred man but I know everything will be ok

[@idspiel]

I have my first harm OCD after my first anxiety attack ever... I am thinking that i would kill , committing mass murders, breaking someone neck or even killing your loves ones.. and hurting others..i am scared of sharp object like knife or scissors. After exposing myself to knife etc likd cutting some vege or just hold it around the house.. makes my intrusive get better.. and i am taking escitalopram as a medication for my anxiety and ocd

[@doublem6027]

Did you ever get better?

[@mackenziemasek5410]

I just realized how I never leave scissors out in my bedroom...

[@arii992]

Thank you :)

[@JamieLewis-u2y]

I've always had compulsions to hurt myself

[@paigegreenhough612]

Does anyone with this get urges or like thoughts saying they don’t want to have ocd and that they actually want to do what their thoughts say they do

[@Sunshine-ku4op]

Yes I have this thought 🥺😣

[@chelzyramirez3663]

@@Sunshine-ku4op how are you doing now?

[@benjamindavey4782]

I've had this. It's horrible.

[@isabellawillberg3872]

How r u now

[@christiansixtosrodriguez6643]

I don’t know if I have ocd or if it’s just my anxiety making me over think these normal thoughts

[@dakotadalton6136]

Hey, so ocd includes anxiety and overthinking. That's what the disorder is.

[@soph403]

ocd is a highly specific form of anxiety. talk to a therapist experienced in ocd if you can!

[@thebumblebeemovie3514]

*how to treat* I may not be a medical professional but I really don’t think that helps. Whenever I got into those situations I would basically freak out and try to get away or get my mind off of it.

[@michaelangelotsaparlis3246]

Thank you

[@noelkemmy1694]

Day from hell, shopping with bad size of harm OCD. Home now chill and thank God for watching this. I am a good person😁

[@ZeZeMichael]

I go through a lot of different types of intrusive thoughts but have no OCD diagnosis, but I'm autistic so it's likely I do have OCD as well, this one is the second most debilitating OCD you can have, I go through this one and a couple other such as Hocd, and relationship OCD just to name a few and I just wonder for people that have gotten help does it work and also any tips for how to tell the people around you have these thoughts without freaking them out and throwing away your relationships completely?

[@21sav20]

I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t even watch a violent movie, I can’t look at a gun, and everytime when it’s just silence it gets worse and I had an anxiety attack in the shower it felt like a tunnel was closing in and I couldn’t breath and then I tripped and fell and I had to turn off the shower and lay in my bed to relax, everytime I go out my anxiety kicks back in and the only time I feel better is just watching KZbin or listening to music. When I go to the gym the thoughts come back but when I get in to my lifting the thoughts go away for a little bit because I’m focused on my training and after my training is finished the thoughts basically just disappear and when it gets darker outside my anxiety kicks in again and these just horrible disturbing thoughts kick in again and there just brief I don’t obsess about them and I don’t keep thinking about them there just brief but they keep on coming back just randomly

[@mysteretsym]

I only get it when i’m holding knives or weapons or sometimes in a passenger side of a car i think what would happen if i just grabbed the wheel and jerked it left. But if im holding a knife i just get thought of stabbing killing my loved ones. It makes me feel guilty. I know i wouldnt do it but thats the thing.

[@chelzyramirez3663]

How do you feel now?

[@hanna4350]

I have this thoughts too. Are we sick?ㅠㅠ

[@chelzyramirez3663]

@@hanna4350 nah you aren’t I overcame it

[@mam12345-o]

My daughter has Pure ocd. She is avoiding me, she has lack of empathy, no emotions, sometimes sadistic. She told me she hates me. I can not see my grandson. I try for 2 years to contact her , she doesn't want any treatment. I am crying every day ,don't know what to do anymoreb

[@questinoblivion3422]

Израэла Israel are you sure is OCD? I mean what you describe sounds like sociopathy...but then again I'm not a psychiatrist...

[@Nerdpainter]

:/ that doesn't sound like ocd. I mean, she might have OCD but it sounds like she may have something els going on too.

[@rosebudd5724]

Израэла Israel, a person with Pure OCD is very caring, has empathy and a conscience, that is why the thoughts distress them so much. It would seem your daughter is suffering from something else. I am sorry what you are going through :(

[@catwalkster]

( psychopathic ) Malignant narcissist are usefull terms you should Google. I don't see any OCD traits in what you write.

[@ella1903-l9f]

What if im too afraid to use exposure and response prevention?

[@rosethorne4381]

But by desensitizing them to emergency signal wouldn't that in itself make them more likely to actually do it...

[@annanavenicka9688]

No, because you will just feel uninterested and put off, since you yourself know it's not what you actually want to do, and it will turn into a thought that will pop up and disappear. Because the reason why these thoughts linger is that they get emotional REACTION from you and scare you. If you practice to calm them down, you will soon realize how silly they are and doesn't say anything about you as a person, then shifting focus when a thought like that appears will only be a swift memory.

[@SavageCommentaryOriginal]

the brain is what they call plastic, i.e neuroplasticity is the ability to rewire the brain, our brains overreact to potential to harm others and the opportunity presenting itself. personally my flight or fight response became acute due to trauma which led to ptsd. when the threat was removed harm ocd started appearing. so now things like knives which used to defense options still hold an association in brain in their capacity to perform violence. After watching this and a few other videos I had a really really good night last night. I didn't react to the ocd with panic, I just let it it hit, then i chose to not react, not try to ignore, not try to fight, just acknowledge, like ok I see you. Like, I see you and you just are what you are, and that's all and it's ok. then i i made myself laugh like oh yeah, after I do what it's saying i won't stop there i'll just keep going until i'm registered as a wmd and recruited by a secret government task force and they call me captain ptsd-knife-kill. then when I looked again I was sitting sipping tea.

[@annanavenicka9688]

savagecommentary omg. Your comment made my day and also explained a lot. Haha, thank u 💙🔥

[@SavageCommentaryOriginal]

@@annanavenicka9688 glad to hear it, oh and wha I mant by the neuroplasticity thing is that I'm rewiring my brain with laughter and humour, as I saw suggested by a video, so when the OCD hits by brain can go to joke mode instead of panic mode. I understand it, so I'm going to acknowledge it, and then relieve my brain with positivity and cheerfulness, I used to try panic prayer, but now I'll deal with it this way, then cover it with thankful prayers and rejoicing...

[@Coldfront-sg3tt]

The main trigger that turns on your OCD is depression. A huge lack in Serotonin levels in your brain can lead to depression and negative thoughts, which lead to H-OCD.. The main foods you should eat on a daily is 2 bananas, or 3 eggs in the morning, and chicken. Do a walk around the block or 2 blocks and sit in the sun. This will increase your serotonin levels tremendously and it will weaken your H-OCD Tremendously. Staying inside more than 7 hours a day will promote depression and H-OCD. Go outside and explore nature

[@hueso5071]

Yeah that’s exactly what happened to me. Before my depression I was completely fine. After my depression, my anxiety went thru the roof and it enhanced my ocd. It’s not like my ocd was anything major before I was depressed.

[@21sav20]

I could not believe how much going outside and taking a walk helped so much with my anxiety and my depression the sun is like natural medicine

[@karinread5490]

I want to stop fantasizing but I enjoy the idea of control

[@shannane5171]

I live with this 24/7 and its horrible x

[@ooouahdbj13]

I think the truest answer to this question is "Hell"

[@nellamarkkanen6568]

can somebody have ocd without physical anxiety?

[@christiansixtosrodriguez6643]

Can someone please tell me if I have harm ocd or if it’s just my anxiety

[@vincetheprince9401]

Can I be hospitalized for having Harm OCD?

[@ailynnkawaii3331]

Yes

[@GustoTheGamer]

Yes and no...best exposure. Even hospitalized the thoughts are still there

[@birdlover6842]

What about people who act on these impulses for relief of tension. I mean good people not criminals.

[@jasnafarzina2536]

I just came here after watching a video about Dahmer!.

[@annanavenicka9688]

Wait, was he the one who ate humans ? That's how my huge ocd flare up started. I saw Japanese cannibalist video and the theme kept repeating itself for months. Are you now feeling better yourself though ?

[@jasnafarzina2536]

@@annanavenicka9688 yes he was one of them. The same happened with me too. Aftr reading abt him few year bck, my ocd gt really tough. Bt thts all gone ..I am doing all good now, thanks fr asking. Hope u r feeling better about everything too.

[@sarveshtanavade506]

@@annanavenicka9688 how are you now Anna are you still getting this intrusive thoughts

[@AustinCole-i1g]

Recovery is 100% possible you will beat this I promise

[@DebaPratim.]

Did you through this? And recovered?

[@AustinCole-i1g]

@ yea I went through harm ocd very challenging time in my life but with techniques I learned through therapy and fixing hormone issues I was able to recover

[@DebaPratim.]

@@AustinCole-i1g I'm also suffering from some intrusive thoughts which has no reality, did you also experience like this ?

[@AustinCole-i1g]

@@DebaPratim. yes, these thoughts are not a threat or based in reality. I know these thoughts are very distressing and hard to deal with, but take it easy on yourself! You can and will get through this!!

[@burgerboss8377]

I have all these symptoms

[@hamer5171]

Helpful but listening and comparing it to myself I don’t have exactly that but it’s close cause I realize the thoughts are natural heck I love blades and weaponry (sitting next to sword hanging on wall) i like the idea of combat , fighting and a substantial risk of losing my own life (not scuicide style more like possible to die might not could but makes life worth living )but I’m mainly afraid of myself and what I lock up in the back of my head and what could happen if it gets loose ik if I lost it I’d end up hurting people with no regard and I hate that ik I’m a good person and it’s not a 100% looming fear I just can’t be around a lot of people 50-75% of the time without the fear (thinking normal introverted/social anxiety is mixed in here aswell) the just constant feeling of fear without a specific or known origin it just happens I’ve gotten good at hiding it and seeming....normal relaxed {not anxietal out of my mind} I dont normally talk about it or let most people know idrk why I’m not good at talking or explaining things face to face physically in the same room (oddly enough the internet is 100% fine) online I’m normally confident slightly more able to acsess. My intelligence open and can get along just fine in nearly any situation (so long as the person I happen to be speaking to isn’t a perpetual dick or completely void of empathy and given some kind of authority) I’m not rly looking for a diagnosis but maybe if you want and this sounds familiar you could leave a reply to what it sounds more like might help me narrow down the list but I know I’m fine I’ve been working though most of my issues steadily lately quite effectively in fact

[@rickynewman3230]

You sound like me! Check out teal swan, she's a spiritualist and she has a video on lonliness that might help you. Also look into opening the chakras and shadow work 🙂

[@d1m1trismp]

I need some help pleaseee

[@jillalexiestrada6034]

That's not the video I saw.

[@rainbowgorl8229]

everything I see is a weapon I cold use to hurt someone or myself

[@mzyers]

I thought i was insane

[@sanadbenali6993]

I think respect and recognition is an important part for treatment What I mean is sort of empowerment and recognition My hypothesis is based on a possible association with narcissism or bpd or superiority complexes I once had these thoughts in a more intense way before knowing even ocd and no Internet and there were many taboo topics we were told best not share or research With a friend we logically talked out My friend said you are not harmless I am not weak there is the object look at it its a tool for good and bad you control it You could try to attack me I can defend myself I don't need your mercy am not powerless, if you do succeed in a surprise attack you won't get away with it and your life will be ruined for nothing Lastly if you were to wager that there is an afterlife not only you would be a loser for the impulsive behaviour I would be A winner on your expense That lead me to a feeling of self control and respect for the other If we were to assume narcissism was a driving force there this levelling of the ground for both felt right

[@erikad6222]

👍

[@nope6021]

Lol I never knew the dark jokes I make with my roommate are therapeutic! I thought we were just assholes lol

[@PauletteArroyo]

Finding God in the Catholic Church cures all mental illness 🙂