The Life of Brian: Beatitudes, Stoning, and Lepper

This clip from Monty Python's The Life of Brian is edited to be school safe.

[@peterelmer9114]

“He is the Messiah; I should know, I’ve followed a few”

[@inserttrashname709]

i like the cut of this guys jib

[@jerometaperman7102]

He’s not the Messiah; he’s a very naughty boy.

[@upturnedblousecollar5811]

@@jerometaperman7102 Imagine if some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at him.

[@ZilogBob]

@@upturnedblousecollar5811 'Tis but a scratch!

[@stevesmith2139]

Our priest recited The sermon on the mount 25 yrs ago for our wedding, and when i whispered "blessed are the cheesemakers" my wife pretty much just lost it.

[@ThisCharmingMan1984]

Steve Smith Someone at the back should have shouted “Speak up!”- I know it would have interrupted your wedding, but it would have been a fantastic moment haha.

[@hannibalburgers477]

If only my wife could understand that reference. If only I could have a wife. If only I wasn't alone

[@Me-fo1kk]

Honestly the priest shoukd have added it. After all it's your moment.

[@Me-fo1kk]

Oh god..um Jehovah..um i-hova..Jesus..ah-zus..that was funny😂🤣

[@marem3038]

@@hannibalburgers477 Don't worry your right hand will always be there for you or left if you are a lefty.

[@stujd1539]

Life of Bwian is one of those films that you can watch again and again and find that little something you missed previously. Monty Python's best film imo.

[@thewitchfindergeneral81]

Bwian, eh?

[@stujd1539]

@@thewitchfindergeneral81 Yeah, not Woger.

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@stujd1539 Wascibly wobber and wapist, that Woger, no twue Woman indeed!

[@bizarte24_]

All hail Bwain!!

[@tauraimapfunde5074]

Yah.this was great

[@marccolten9801]

The fact that no one can hear him from so far away is one of the subtlest and funniest jokes ever.

[@johnmackendrick5173]

And so they mangle the meaning of what he us trying to say.

[@edithlazenby5839]

Absolutely...

[@TonyEnglandUK]

I'll bet my life Christians have a detailed explanation of just how the people at the back heard every word clearly. _"For verily, his larynx was no ordinary larynx, it was the beginning of Dolby surroundsound."_

[@jnaughton9501]

Marc Colten that’s most probably why none of it was written down at the time. It was left to the imagination of the writers of the gospels to put their own interpretations on it 200 years later.

[@Z0Il]

Yh, I died at that part. They are standing like 200 meters away and she is like "speak up" 🤣

[@PrimetimeD]

I always lose it when Matthias does his little dance and starts saying "Jehovah!" over and over. XD

[@LeofromFreo]

To this day, I can’t go past a bag of gravel at a garden suppliers without laughing.

[@LeofromFreo]

Jim McCracken it’s for that important scatter effect and helps when you can’t throw a stone too accurately. At least people can say you joined in and tried stoning someone to their death. 🤷🏻‍♂️🙄🤦🏻‍♂️

[@goodygumdrops2105]

Haha

[@michaelstearnesstearnes1498]

Its hard for me to look at a gourd without thinking of this film.

[@jackpowell9276]

One more time mate, I'll take you the fuckin' cleaners!!! - Creased every time.

[@DavidKing-jx3sg]

I'll remember that mate 👍

[@blaisegirl420]

the lady carrying her donkey instead of it carrying her is so underrated lol

[@frankiezap]

" 'e's not well again."

[@davidandrews6149]

OH it's the meek,blessed are the meek,oh I'm glad they're getting something, they've had a hell of a time. Classic

[@steve16384]

Funniest line in the whole film, and that's saying something. Always makes me laugh no matter how many times I see that bit.

[@deeestuary]

Agree 100% but I can never really explain why it’s so funny.

[@gregorywhite9095]

It's true...I'm very meek and I've had a helluva time.

[@jeanmariezeyen111]

What's so special about cheesemakers ?.....Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.. 😄

[@TonyEnglandUK]

@@jeanmariezeyen111 The cheesemakers certainly bypassed a shop in Ilchester

[@j.rbrooks300]

R.I.P. Graham Chapman and Terry Jones, Kings Of Comedy ❤

[@probinson4383]

Thumb chaser

[@medicalmarijuanagrower7578]

🙏rip Graham Chapman Terry Jones = I used to love 70/80 ! They'll never make films like this ! We used to laugh = Today not many films make me laugh ! PS yehoooooooova nice day

[@GabrielCsaba]

John's body language in the stoning scene, leveraging both the insane length of his limbs and the flowing nature of those garments - you don't even have to hear the dialog to crack up.

[@rods6405]

John is just built to be and able to moved like a real life cartoon character!

[@ZilogBob]

If only he'd thrown in a bit of The Ministry Of Silly Walks.

[@brunosmith6925]

One of the greatest historical documentaries of all time.

[@janinekaretai4306]

Bwahahaha

[@mkunes2502]

I thought it was a Frontline doc.

[@jussikankinen9409]

Jesus was king, not hippie riding donkey, romans made fun giving donkey head for hanged jews

[@samf.s.7731]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@paulsouchon9443]

"Blessed is just about everyone with a vested interest in the status quo"- Brilliant

[@awzthemusicalreviews]

What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that the meek are the problem

[@deletesoon70]

This is the mindset of the WEF reset cultists up in Davos.

[@stevedunningduckinggiraffe6296]

"You're only making it worse for yourself!" Classic.

[@Amber90125]

Blessed are the cheese makers. Cracked me up big time. RIP Terry Jones

[@jnaughton9501]

Amber Puga or cream crackered🧈

[@joeybill9472]

What so special about the cheese makers?

[@pwnmeisterage]

@@joeybill9472 Well obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

[@TonyEnglandUK]

@@pwnmeisterage Tell me something. Do you have any cheese at all?

[@iandickson1940]

The most Brilliant comedy of all time!! If you can't laugh at this you can't laugh at anything😂😂😂

[@javiergilvidal1558]

I can´t laugh, seeing what Britain has been led to!

[@CelticSaint]

The Left would rip Python apart these days.

[@gutenbird]

Exactly. I've never seen a comedy that quite equals it. Holy Grail is also up there.

[@mizofan]

@@CelticSaint Utter nonsense- i'm a loony lefty and i love Python. They had fun here with the People's Front etc but were anti-Tory.

[@CelticSaint]

@@mizofan I know that left wing people do enjoy Python and many other comedies, but I was talking about the 'Left' as in the political movement/ideology, not individual left wing people.

[@blaisegirl420]

I love how they go right from the sermon on the mount to a stoning and he asks his mom. calmly he asks, "why aren't women allowed to go to the stoning" and she sneers back like he's dumb "Because it's written! Thats why!" - freaking gold

[@russellherbert9670]

Wonder if a comedy gang like python would send up Mohamed, love to c it

[@TheRealist2022]

@@russellherbert9670 Why would they send up Mohammed? They weren't sending up Jesus Christ.

[@musician1000]

@@russellherbert9670 It's not sending up Jesus, just the people who were around at the time.

[@Leto_0]

@@musician1000 Sure, if you think Brian was the son of god...

[@musician1000]

@@Leto_0 Brian was actually, just a very naughty boy.

[@welshpete12]

Only the English, could make a comedy out of a execution by stoning .

[@paulshrew]

a welshman wrote the line. RIP Terry Jones

[@joeybill9472]

Can I have a flat one mum? Shh!!! Sorry! Dad!

[@apnewens]

*an

[@81Mace81]

@@paulshrew Retorted by a man with a name that couldn't be any more Welsh! 😂 RIP Terry

[@puppetsock]

I was working on a summer work term betwen 2nd and 3rd year undegrad, and went to a movie theatre to pass some time. I had no idea what I was going to see, just picking something from the cheap night at the cineplex. And what did I see? Life of Brian. I had not seen any previews or trailers. I watched it cold and unawre. And there was me and 2 other people in the Tuseday night show at 11PM. And during this, and several other scenes, I nearly lost control of my bodily functions.

[@frankrothe7023]

Truly a masterpiece of a movie, so glad theses gifted guys made it!

[@gregorywhite9095]

And financed by George Harrison, who once played guitar for the Beatles, a famous British rock group.

[@ZilogBob]

@@gregorywhite9095 You mean there are people alive now who need to be told who The Beatles were? What sad times we live in....

[@pbrynild]

"There's always one, isn't there..." Brilliant!

[@frankiezap]

I say this line all the time

[@paradox7358]

*Crushing him with a giant rock* "Good shot!"

[@petermills542]

" SPEAK UP !! " Can't hear a bloody thing , let's go stoning.... " . RIP Terry Jones.

[@user-yx6ry5ow2r]

One of the greatest films of all time.

[@Thursdaym2]

"Where you from, nose city.? Priceless.

[@zapkvr]

I'm glad they're getting something cos they have a hell of a time

[@johnathanryan2117]

The soldiers who shake their heads at the end. Was a police officer for 20 years...know exactly how they feel!

[@bigbaba1111]

Thank you for your service mate.👍

[@scottmatheson3346]

@Samuel Black if you want to see the violence inherent in the system, then yes, indeed ...

[@grunthostheflatulent9649]

How anyone could stand there and be spat at and abused in the most foul manner, is beyond me. I respect anyone who can.

[@pwnmeisterage]

@@grunthostheflatulent9649 I'm sure a lot of abuse comes from really stupid, really passionate, really desperate people. But most people most of the time will likely show some restraint when confronting someone armed with the law and a gun. You can't outrun bullets and radios and helicopters for long.

[@someoneelse101]

The guards are like "here we go again" at the start

[@redsquirrel1086]

"Judea AD33" "Saturday Afternoon" "About tea time" 😂😂😂

[@robertellis4938]

Before Dr. Who.

[@Richard-Vlk]

Also, don't get me started that Romans by then had 9-day weeks.

[@dianagette4796]

All those who have passed from Monty Python, know that the laughs and joy, will continue for ages😁😂

[@TheRealist2022]

@diana gette Exactly. Did you see the memorial for Graham Chapman? Cleese has it perfectly, when he says that Chapman would have hated good taste! This is gold. kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJ6ViYOhpqqBl9k

[@keithwills3790]

This and blazing saddles.. The 2 best comedy movies ever...😂😂

[@MrBICKUS9]

"A packet of gravel". Loved life of brian all my life. 25 now and have been pissing myself at this film since i was like 10

[@brucethomson3242]

What makes the Sermon scene so ingeniously funny is because the crowd is so huge, they all clearly respect Jesus for turning up. It's only the back of the crowd that have a rough time. Writing at its cleverest.

[@alisonaizlewood475]

REG:"What Jesus fails to realise is that its the meek who are the problem" 😂🤣😂🤣

[@petersyme7083]

‘About Tea Time’ is such a Monty Python phrase. The Best British Comedy Ever. Amazing that one of the towns that banned the film, the ban was only lifted a few years ago, the Mayor of the town was the actress who played Judith, ‘that Welsh tart’. It was shown for the first time with Michael Palin in attendance.

[@robhickford9169]

The pure throwaway line of a woman carrying an ass saying "I ain't got no time to go to no stoning." Wild stuff'

[@timdowney6721]

Love the two soldiers shaking their heads.

[@buninparadise9476]

Greatest movie of all times

[@mizofan]

that's Sansho the Bailiff, of course

[@manjulanilsson6011]

I agree

[@Jarek_73]

Surely one of the best ever shot.

[@soundautomatic1]

The lady talking about the meek having a hell of time kills me

[@SpaceCadet4Jesus]

A stone salesman conveniently selling his quality craftsman rocks of death nearby. 😆

[@Ali74]

The film is a masterpiece.

[@Scottie_S]

A more accurate assessment of history, I have never seen...

[@robertcrowley3129]

Best film ever…. so ahead of its time and absolute genius 😂😂😂😂😂

[@kaboulscabal4816]

“Of his many achievements, for me the greatest gift he gave us all was his direction of Life of Brian. Perfection.” John Cleese

[@x.y.8581]

Other than THAT - just what has he EVER done for us?

[@budakbaongsiah]

Was Cleese talking about Terry Jones?

[@someoneelse101]

@Jim McCracken Who hit yours then, Goliath's big brother?

[@TheRealist2022]

@@budakbaongsiah Yeah, I think so. Jones did do a fantastic job of it.

[@TonyEnglandUK]

@@budakbaongsiah He was talking about Terry, yes, John posted it on Twitter and continued _"Two down, four to go."_

[@simonrandall5471]

A male actor. Pretending to be a woman, pretending to be a man.

[@g0679]

Simon Randall Reminds me of a description of a drag queen stage show.

[@TomiKaski]

Mind... blown

[@zapkvr]

Like Dustin Hoffnagel in Tootsie

[@ralphphillips2232]

like Steve Martin in "All of Me"

[@dcanmore]

Victor/Victoria a female actress, pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman

[@unsungzero6122]

1:22 Michael Palin's angry yelling always makes me laugh 🤣

[@LordUnas]

What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it’s the meek who are the problem.

[@milesbaigent4534]

Still one of my favourite lines in all film comedy . This snippet epitomises British Comedy and it’s depth of funnyness. Fabulous. 👍MM

[@BrianStringham4761]

Chris G Um, dude, Jesus is the son of Jehovah, as in God. The son of God. The all-powerful, all-knowing, almighty creator of ALL life in the universe. He can read your most inner hearts and most inner thoughts. God is not stupid. And neither is Jesus. God knows more than Jesus. But Jesus, the Great Teacher, is smart too. The End. 🙏 Your friend, just some random Jehovah’s Witness dude AKA someone not important.

[@BrianStringham4761]

@yeah I'm John Assal Trust me. I have seen it! 😾

[@BrianStringham4761]

☕

[@BrianStringham4761]

yeah I'm John Assal Well Played, Professor John “Ass” Al Yankovic! 🤔🧐🥱🤤😳🤪🤓😈😼👹💩

[@SpaceCadet4Jesus]

High Priest: "Alright, if you say Jehovah, one more , Okay, who threw that??" Crowd screams "She did" as their voices go from soprano to bass 😆

[@blackfootedferret]

And people are stilll trying to stamp out that name lol.

[@Pikestnt]

“I’m sorry I thought we’d started” with the drop in pitch, is one of my favourite lines

[@redsquirrel1086]

Funniest movie ever made. A masterpiece.

[@SR-vl6ql]

And Airplane.

[@redsquirrel1086]

@@SR-vl6ql Agreed. Excellent film.

[@michaelrowsell1160]

The meaning of life, had me on the floor gasping for breathe in the sex lessen with " what's wrong with kissing boy "

[@greeenfilter8084]

Without a doubt 😅

[@TheRealist2022]

@@SR-vl6ql Not in the same league. Very funny yes... but a million miles behind LOB.

[@bangroad4059]

Edited out one of the funniest bits when he says one more time I'll take you to the f****n cleaners

[@TonyEnglandUK]

lol I would so love to read that line somewhere in the Bible.

[@fatheroflatus]

@@TonyEnglandUK I think it's in the Book of Herschel.

[@kiirolozanogarcia3003]

"language!! and don't pick your nose!!"

[@pauldiffin9148]

Just like you edited out ucki. Why not just write fuckin' ??

[@frankfrank7921]

@@pauldiffin9148 I was waiting for someone to notice that. He complains about the video editing then edits himself. Silly person!

[@hobnobhead4043]

"One more time mate, I'll take you the fackin cleaners!" My favourite line in this scene edited out!

[@15sixmedia]

I know! I was waiting for it and then the bugger cut it out!

[@Dubdroid]

Facking KZbin facking censorship …. F.F.S. someone wrestle this f. platform and SiliCON Valley out of f. religious control! … otherwise Totalitarianism, spyware and censorship is our only future.👍🤣💩

[@MrClingclong]

40 years on, and Python's Life of Brian is still a great film. It shows up the utter madness of religions then and now.

[@deletesoon70]

Always loved Bignose's wife with "Oo thats nice innit, I'm glad they're gettin sumfin cuz they ad a elluva time"

[@franceleeparis37]

Absolutely brilliant.... gets better each time I watch it... had me in stitches... British humour at it best... 😂😂😂

[@stevipop]

"Good shot!" Like, how could you miss with that thing? 🤔🤣Hilarious, all of it!

[@joejitsu034]

A master class of silliness 😂👍❤️

[@importantname]

From the Golden Age of British Documentary Making!

[@sirtalkalotdoolittle]

"Blessed are the cheesemakers." "I'm sure he means all dairy products." And so the religious wars begin.

[@firewalkwithme2539]

Could be the greatest 7 minutes of comedy, intellectual and otherwise, ever put on film. There are so many challenging,funny and uncomfortable moments, that you could write a thesis on it.

[@williamdonnelly224]

Jehovah!

[@tsopmocful1958]

The Biggus Dickus scene is up there too.

[@Veryciccio1]

Brian's latin lesson from the Centurion is pretty good also.

[@thefreeradical2320]

Firewalk...My thesis will always be....peace in the world or the world in pieces....(borrowed)....

[@davidcampbell362]

" The meek will not inherit the earth- they will get what is left of it." - Frank Zappa

[@BH-cr5uo]

"The meek shall inherit nothing" Frank Zappa-

[@undieturd]

"Why aren't women allowed to go to stoning, mum?" "It's written, that's why." And there you have it.

[@mizofan]

not just religion but the education system and the mainstream media- ask no questions, accept what you're told (and the greedy rich bastards keep getting richer)

[@pioneernut7487]

How you tell there's a god? Well it's written

[@KBAFourthtime]

"NOW LOOK! NO ONE... IS TO STONE *ANYONE...* UNTIL I BLOW THIS WHISTLE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! EVEN, AND I WANT TO MAKE THIS *ABSOLUTELY* CLEAR... EVEN IF THEY *DO* SAY 'JEHOVAH!'"

[@richardupton6266]

Good shot.

[@Kragatar]

*throws rock

[@charlesmurphy3222]

Other than speaking in Aramaic, this is one of the most accurate interpretations of the New Testament in the history of entertainment.

[@richardl772]

This classic should be compulsory viewing for everyone.......

[@stevenspenneberg7407]

This movie perfectly encapsulates today. It’s so accurate it’s not even a parody. More like a Pre-documentary.

[@originate2464]

I think it might not only be similar to today, but similar to the past few thousand years, maybe longer

[@Brettyboy101]

Cut out my favorite bit, "one more time and i'll take you to the fucking cleaners"😂😂😂😂

[@garyturner5739]

2:18 Palin says 'I take you to the fucking cleaners has been removed.'

[@razzle1964]

🤨 cunts, ain’t they! 🙄

[@fortusvictus8297]

"What have the ROMANS ever done for US?!"

[@cristinabumbac151]

Monty Python...saw 4 or 5 of their movies, all absolutely phenomenal. A group of actors who wrote, directed and played with extraordinary humor and courage (yes, one needs guts to do what they did) scenes that probably will never have a match 😉

[@davidpyorkshire]

Blessed are the meek. That's nice innit. Glad they're getting something. They've had a hell of a time 😂😂

[@drey8]

"OAWWWW LAY OFF WE HAVEN'T STARTED YET!"

[@matt5415]

I love how the one guy so effortlessly explains that all purveyors of dairy products are blessed. You can see how a whole branch of Christianity could have been based on dairy from that post on. Dairiest Christian, likely.😊

[@monikaszymanowska5142]

"Let's go to the stoning" is a line you risk to hear on weekend when you are over thirty and still living with your mother:-)

[@kiddetroit8403]

What are the most magnificent scenes in cinematic history this will go down and infamy forever

[@427walrus]

"What was that?" "I don't know I was too busy talking to big nose."

[@greeenfilter8084]

Where has comedy gone. British comedy at its best. You just can’t beat British humour 😅😂🤣

[@royfearn4345]

The Thought PO

[@royfearn4345]

The Thought Police have killed humour and extinguished the light of the world.

[@manjulanilsson6011]

Agree

[@sillysausage4549]

You aren't allowed to be funny in Britain anymore, for fear of offending women and ethnic minorities

[@manjulanilsson6011]

@@sillysausage4549 I belive its like that all over the western civilization I'm afraid. PC culture. One have to make a difference between humour and seriousness imo.

[@raymoore6277]

Best opening scene ever, up to 'SPEAK UP', wonderfully irreverent.

[@tinaboy99]

A truly wonderful comedy, so full of jokes, inuendos etc you find something new every time you watch e.

[@richardstokes3625]

Bloody brilliant

[@hbp2m]

Its heart warming to see that things haven't really changed that much in the last 1400 - 2500 years in the Middle East.

[@mickryan2450]

Oh yeah brain dead fwits

[@twcnz3570]

Gotta love those "Abrahamic" religions.

[@roberthill799]

Not to mention Alabama.

[@gregorymabrey7508]

The youngster holding her umbrella. ha ha.

[@timwright8785]

Probably one of the greatest comedy films ever vintage python at its best 👌

[@alanpritchard5709]

@ 02:26 Michael Palin has had the line cut: "One more time and I'll take you to the f***ing cleaners!"

[@raymondvaughan6262]

Brilliant film best python film made great to watch again to cheer you up a must Brilliant writing and comedy

[@bn3121]

"Even, and I want to make this ABSOLUTELY clear..." love how he slow rolled that punchline haha

[@keithwills3790]

Michael Palin.. Magic.. Ripping Yarns... Comedy Gold..

[@dean6880]

A packet of gravel, absolutely brilliant

[@thomastammaro693]

"Blessed are the cheese makers". This movie never gets old🤣🤣😂

[@Ston247]

3:10 The funniest punch in movie history, IMO.

[@brucethomson3242]

It's not a masterpiece, it's a very naughty film.

[@thedolphin5428]

2019 -- People often ask "Will a comedy film stand the test of time"? Based on the perennial relevance of MP's religious satire, I think we can safely say YES!

[@billlombard9911]

Classic and will always be great 😂😂😂

[@tiasara5967]

This is actually extremely reassuring that people haven’t changed since the B.C. era, the 1970s and today! We’re still the same idiots. Very comforting.

[@crush42mash6]

This thing is so funny, men dressing up as women, Jesus at the sermon on the mount preaching and people in the crowd fighting. And then the stoning, unbelievably funny. Send the person to the back of the line because I threw the stone too early. Awesome writing!

[@michaelpollen8923]

This was when we all had a good huma 😂 i so mis them years

[@hammysmad]

Two points, a big flat one and a bag of gravel LMAO

[@hammysmad]

***** Cheers man Monty were good alright

[@hammysmad]

Linda Tolley lol

[@jerometaperman7102]

Oh! Blessed are the meek. Well, that’s nice, isn’t it? I’m glad they’re getting something ‘cause they’ve ‘ad a ‘ell of a time.

[@RomanesEuntDomus.]

-"Why aren't women allowed to go to stonings, mom?" -"It's written, that's why!!" Can't argue with that!

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Mum*

[@salyluz6535]

We watched this and a couple other Python movies, laughing through the night at a Catholic retreat weekend in the 1980s, before we climbed a hill barefoot and had morning mass while the sun rose. It was a truly wonderful weekend!! 💙🌻🌅

[@MongoSays]

The Stoning has to be the funniest bit ever put on film, hands down.

[@reason5591]

Appreciation for how well MP subtly get the truth across lmao 😂

[@rileyonoid6731]

I'm waiting for the reboot, Life of Achmed! Should be box office gold!

[@thefreeradical2320]

Those insecure idol worshippers could never abide that....Did any Christian decapitate anyone going to see LOB....NO....

[@bretttempleman5373]

They cut out my favourite bit. " I'll take you to the fuckin cleaners"😂😂😂