Male vs Female Gaze: How Media Profits From Your Gender

DISCLAIMER: The information in this video are generalities and should not be taken as a fixed rule. Although many of the studies show certain results, there is no way to test and observe ancient humans. So, the conclusions in a number of papers are theories as to why humans may behave the way they do from an evolutionary perspective. This is done by observing other animals and modern day humans. As a result, evolutionary psychology is often reductionist and can fail to take into account social factors. My point is don’t go using evolutionary psychology as an excuse to cheat or something LOL. Additionally, although "Male Gaze"/"Female Gaze" are terms coined by Laura Mulvey, we will be discussing both terms from the perspective of the Tik Tok trend.
The beauty and personal care industry for men and women is a multibillion dollar business. While some of that is spent for reasons of self satisfaction, a large amount is spent to attract a mate. There’s just one problem. Unless you date the same sex, sometimes what you think is attractive about yourself isn’t what the opposite sex is attracted to. This phenomena is commonly known as the male vs female gaze. The male gaze describes what men typically view as attractive in men and women. The female gaze describes what women typically view as attractive in men and women. This has sparked discussion all over the internet about what causes these differences in opinion. Today we will be examining the possible cause of this difference by analyzing the male and female gaze from an evolutionary perspective.
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MAIN SOURCES
www.livescience.com/32437-why...
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1...
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
link.springer.com/article/10....
www.apa.org/monitor/dec06/tes...
psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-2...
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
www.j-14.com/posts/the-origin...
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_sta...
psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-1...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18712...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8863065/
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
www.sciencedirect.com/science...
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
faceresearch.org/students/aver...
sci-hubtw.hkvisa.net/10.1177/...
www.researchgate.net/publicat...
peplau.psych.ucla.edu/wp-cont...
0:00 Intro
3:15 Defining The Male vs. Female Gaze
4:24 Promiscuity from an Evolutionary Perspective
11:52 Negative Stereotypes in Males and Females
15:12 "The Ideal Female" in Media for Men
20:54 "The Ideal Male" in Media for Women
31:38 Additional Behavior supporting the Evolutionary Perspective
34:16 How the "Ideal Man" is written For Men
42:21 How the "Ideal Woman" is written For Women
46:05 Conclusion

[@DonnaIRL]

I'm seeing new comments about the audio being not synced up. The reason for that is I had to trim a few seconds off of the video, using KZbin's trimmer because someone copyright claimed it. Monetization is back on, but I guess trimming the video has affected audio syncing? The video has been processing for a day. I'm hoping that after it's fully processed, it'll be back to normal.

[@Valerie_Loves_]

I know it's been a few minutes but I didn't see any issues.

[@lightfox11]

it's not synced.. im watching now

[@froggothecommentator8036]

Its off about 29 seonds. However, take it with a grain of salt for i might not be the most accurate. If you push the audio from 9:44 to 10:13, it should solve the problem for most part. Im not sure how to fix the part before that sorry, but thats all i can do.

[@ijijijyygygy4006]

yeah nah sync's wayyy off

[@marianmatei7185]

The big brain workaround is to open 2 versions of this video and use 1 tab for the audio and the other one to sync the audio

[@kntrishdekanoidze1382]

"females and males are temporary" "shrek is enternal" _sun tzu

[@pointchamberlain4782]

best comment on this video everyone else is brainwashed

[@alifmuqri7359]

exactly

[@devod488]

"when all fades away, leaving nothing but dust, he will be there, holding you in his strong green arms and whispering sweet nothings in your ear... " - Josephine Cochran

[@bee-sk3il]

ah yes my favourite quote from art of war

[@mypersonalaccount4934]

Shrek is eternal. Do you know what else is eternal? Sun Tzu quotes.

[@nahte8626]

Thats actually really interesting that you have an almost even split of viewership gender. All the channels I watch usually have a majority either way.

[@uydagcusdgfughfgsfggsifg753]

True, super weird eh?

[@grandmamustaine7215]

I mean, not really. It actually makes sense. The male audience comes from the genre of her videos which is commentary/science which more appeals to men, her videos discuss men more than women, they're not feminist. Female audience comes from her being a woman, obviously. Because most of youtubers of this particular genre are men, it may be, let's say, interesting for other gals to see a woman making this sort of videos and they also become interested in the genre

[@tysonroger4021]

@@grandmamustaine7215 idk about that. I feel like her genre appeals more to women. Men just watch her cause she's attractive.

[@inventions178]

@@tysonroger4021 Well thats false and sexist.

[@tysonroger4021]

@@inventions178 nah.

[@RockSolitude]

It still bewilders me how small independent KZbins are able to make really professional, big budget looking documentaries like this.

[@nivrrtakr2891]

well

[@mortviolette284]

I honestly think the reason the girls (possibly women) talked so much about TC’s acting skills and personality is because they didn’t want to sound shallow. I know plenty of women who feel the need to highlight the non-physical attributes of a romantic interest specifically for that reason.

[@filipradojcic461]

I'm thinking the same thing, TC is attractive in his own way. Maybe he is not muscular, big or appears as a dominant, leading male but his whole face is still attractive in unique way, hence why he is an actor in first place. Many guys can try to mimick his hairstyle but they still wouldn't be perceived as attractive as they want to be. Regardless, this video did good thing portraying how attractiveness is measured by media and how people form their perception of attraction based on it.

[@bgos4727]

Idk i don't really like him thay much, but to be fair, it was a turn off for me when i found out he was a nepobaby

[@talalh7247]

I see nothing attractive in that man

[@bluegiant13]

it so obvious. this video is part factual but also full of a lot of bs and fluff. Ugly introvert = creep, attractive introvert = mysterious

[@fatfurry]

@@talalh7247 theres nothing attractive in that man until im in him

[@albusdragontrainer6460]

Excuse me? Peter Parker? A successful photographer? No, no, no, he‘s been beaten up, stamped on and made fun of all the time. That’s what made him so different from all these other superheroes back then. Peter was a Nerd who was constantly in the shadows and not noticed by others if he wasn’t wearing the mask.

[@sadboipotato3382]

He was created to be the average guy that kicks ass as a superhero.

[@leonthethird7494]

buts that's like a joker type fantasy

[@hannahrodrigue6527]

Omggg you totally spoke my mind, that's exactly what I was thinking !! I mean come on, he was bullied through high school, lived in a trash apartment where he could barely afford the rent, and J Jonah Jameson was constantly threatening to fire him. That's no Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent figure to me lol

[@gusgusspuspus1738]

Depends on which Spider-Man you watch tbh

[@aryan7767]

nah he was always a chick magnet. Black Cat, MJ, Gwen Stacy, Liz Allen, Betty Brant. Dude is funny, extremely fit, mysterious and actually a good person who can keep a conversation.

[@teraphIl1000]

That tik tok of the guy at the gay bar absolutely destroyed me. Having your worst fears confirmed is a horrible experience.

[@miramuchachito296]

I have mixed feelings. I think that it has lots to do with expectactions. If the most attractive person in a room doesn't like me because i'm not the most attractive person in the room , maybe means that i have false and unreal expectations. And also there's a huge trend to "bear" and "chubby" guys in the gay community. We have a tendence to run away from what women find attractive or what straight man thinks women find attractive. Before , gays guys were the clean, shaved guy with too much perfum ( lavender!) But now that straight guys have adopt this behavior, gays wants hairs, daddy bodies and not parfum.

[@sams3015]

@@miramuchachito296 yeah that’s so true. I’m a “nice guy” but I do boxing. I don’t really do the gym so I look avg / toned but not muscular. I noticed overtime when talking to guys who were maybe a being bit dry / not sure about me, they completely flip the switch when they find out I do boxing. Also, I have a slight birth defect that means my nose is slightly crooked. Some people never notice (my ex was bluntest person alive & didn’t notice it for months) but if they do and think it’s from boxing suddenly it’s “hot” or “a nice feature”. My ex was Scandinavian and had very pronounced facial features & women tended to think he “looked like a villain” and very cold and gay men tend to think he “handsome” or “bad ass” , they also responded better to his blunt Nordic personality. Male friends found him “genuine” while female friends found him a little rude

[@miramuchachito296]

@@sams3015 i confirm you that a guy that do box and has a boxer nose is hot. Sorry is like that. A good exemple is here in YT you have videos from russian wrestlers weighting (real wrestlers not the americam show) if you look the comments: only gay men commenting how hot the guys are.

[@jose91807]

I just don't understand how people can reject some that heartless it destroys me

[@RANDOM-pf1ve]

Welcome to 'how an average man feels like when he gets rejected'

[@IrvingIV]

One thing that I see other comments mentioning is that it's easy to say what you think you find attractive, but what you actually find attractive is something more real and hard to grasp. A thing that I find has helped a lot in understanding why women like the pretty boy types is seeing them in motion, hearing them speak, because a lot of the time there is both a tenderness and an intensity of presence. Similarly, what I find myself desiring in a partner is not the sort of shallow charicature we often get from sexy lady characters, which even in full cinematic context is more like the static image of those gentlemen actors the ladies like. I find myself wanting that intensity of presence and gentleness. In a sense, what people want is to be seen and heard, not merely as leaders or authorities, but as equals, and to see and hear their partners in turn. Or perhaps this is senseless.

[@liquidKi]

If it makes sense to you, it's not senseless.

[@jazzyj7834]

The day I learned that one of the most common body parts women find attractive is the hands, is the day I began learning to accept myself and stop trying to conform to what the media says I should look like. It sounds silly to say in retrospect, years later, but learning to love your body and stop chasing this fantasy ideal that the media says you should seek after, allows you to be in control of the goal posts for yourself, instead of chasing the impossible and ever-changing goal posts of someone who profits off of your misery.

[@ivanthaboi]

Mfw my left middle finger is broken and curved like a goddamn scimitar Guess I'm not getting any girls😔

[@keck4022]

@@ivanthaboi my hands are small and feminine. And my fingers are long and boney. It over for both of us

[@ericbreaux6124]

Many women have said that what parts they find most attractive on men vary a lot, but for most men, breasts, butts and curvy hips on women are what causes the most sexual response for us. It discourages me to think that the parts on the same areas on men aren’t as commonly thought most attractive to women because of how attractive those areas on women are to most men. It's always made me angry that there's been so much more interest in seeing the female body displayed in a sexually enticing way than male even by many women. That just leaves more people of one genders sexual desires less satisfied more often. That and many womens curves being largely fat makes it difficult for me to enjoy female beauty as much as I want and has caused me depression. Fat isn't a material that gives a stable body shape, but very loose material stored in it and meant to be absorbed. It isn't a body part. It upsets me to think there isn't as much of a butt on men compared to women and often much less in the chest area of men compared to breasts for women to enjoy seeing. I have depression because of how much people enforce this idea that it's more dependant on the hormones that make men the way we are than anything women have as much of. I don't care to ever have a girlfriend or be married anymore because of them. How do they not think it very depressing that there's been more sexual interest expressed for one gender compared to the other!? They have no problem with such a passionate desire not being mutual most of the time!? Are they crazy!?

[@4llowyourdream]

I feel like the answers about "date/apartment/sex" questions can also be explained by the "stranger danger', which is generally higher for women.

[@Getout634]

that's what I was thinking

[@null6209]

Maybe redoing this experiment with the subjects Friends or acquaintances?

[@badwolf3618]

More men get assaulted by strangers than women do. So, no, "stranger danger" is not higher for women.

[@glc6007]

Then why was there a difference between “going to my apartment” and “have sex with me”, which could happen at any location the girl chooses? Danger levels would be at the very least similar but possibly lower in the sex question bc they could just do a quickie in a public bathroom or something. I can see how women not feeling safe alone with a man can be a confounding variable but the fact that they included both implied and explicit sexual propositions controls for that aspect and reveals there’s more to it than that. Also, on the flip side, they found differences between those conditions when men were asked by women.

[@4llowyourdream]

@@badwolf3618 do they generally get assaulted by women or by other men?

[@SNOWSOS]

The idea that someone that's really in shape is perceived to have commitment issues very interesting. On the flip side I've talked to many of my friends who are guys that said they're not interested in a certain girl cause she's "too hot" and they think she would cheat on them. I wonder if there's a study that compares numbers of cheating individuals based on their general attractiveness.

[@adc1222]

There's actually a decent amount of research looking into this. While not directly addressing if attractive people cheat more, The Investment Model scale is one of the more commonly used measures for examining whether people will continue in a relationship. The three main factors are satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. So if you're very attractive, and you know that you're hot, you probably have a higher quality of alternatives to your current partner. Therefore you may be more likely to break up with them when compared to someone that is less attractive, or at least believes themselves to be less attractive, and so thinks they have fewer other options out there.

[@megb7715]

There's also the fact a big jacked dude could flip out and be a serious danger with that much strength.

[@kateginger]

I wouldn't say the most attractive. I'd say the most sexy instead. For example many men liked Emma Watson, but she has a more pretty innocent look, but she's not less attractive than other sexy celebrities.

[@milascave2]

Snow: It makes sense. People tend to cheat as much as their options.

[@dantan1249]

@@adc1222 I’m ugly and I stay breaking up. 😂

[@UnlimitlesslyFunnyDude]

0:00 Intro 3:15 Defining The Male vs. Female Gaze 4:24 Promiscuity from an Evolutionary Perspective 11:52 Negative Stereotypes in Males and Females 15:12 "The Ideal Female" in Media for Men 20:54 "The Ideal Male" in Media for Women 31:38 Additional Behavior supporting the Evolutionary Perspective 34:16 How the "Ideal Man" is written For Men 42:21 How the "Ideal Woman" is written For Women 46:05 Conclusion

[@harsh1784]

Top g 🐐

[@stephanreardon3470]

🐐

[@devlinmcguire7543]

Thanks. A nice, concise, and small sized chapter selection. This was helpful.

[@idontloveblackpeople]

you just copy pasted it from the description

[@_zurr]

The course on Human Behavioural Biology from Stanford (the lectures for which are available on KZbin) are a pretty good and much more nuanced look into this topic, because they go over how much more complicated this even is. The videos on evolutionary biology are especially notable because they take a look at the whole "tournament species/pair-bonding species" thing that is often touted for this topic and show how it isn't that simple for humans.

[@maidende8280]

Best bio class I ever took! It was called HumSex (human sexuality) back then 😁

[@jottonello]

I was checking the comments to see if there was a bit of nuance expressed here, happy to find it! I will check the curse, plus I highly recommend Sex at Down, fascinating book. The whole evolutionary psychology comparing humans to other non social mammals is reaaaally of IMHO

[@goober479]

@@jottonellothis whole video was kind of silly. This is Jordan Peterson level logic… misinformation galore

[@Rickshaw_Bohammer]

The media also influences the way we feel about the attractiveness in genders. we’ve slowly been manipulated to think certain ways about anything

[@minazuki8700]

honestly we all know this... maybe dont know but I dont want to admit that

[@animusik1305]

@blackthorn so now you like guys as well?

[@nman1230]

Ugh how about biology drives sexual selection

[@abisabyss6739]

The media is based of our biological sexual instincts and makes profit out of it not the other way around.

[@bellacortez]

@@abisabyss6739 lol our natural biological instinct is not to like fake. And for women's beauty standard being fake is it.

[@tulipmars]

A lot of this is so true. I can sit through a whole movie about an insanely handsome, alpha male who rarely wears a shirt and not even feel an ounce of attraction. However the moment a slightly above average actor presents even a slight semblance of sensitivity, I’m head over heels. Edit: I’ve been getting a lot of hate for saying this , not sure why so since it’s a personal preference. 😀? I’m not saying conventionally attractive people are ugly , I’m just more interested in who ppl are rather than what they look like. But it really depends on the individual. It’s a case by case thing.

[@girl23232]

yes!!!

[@hoodiehoodie5328]

THISSS. Also, I love the man in your username hehehe and it's probably bc he and the rest of nct/kpop male idols fit the female gaze

[@Chocolavacakeloco]

yes same here ! big build macho guys are such a huge turn off for me . and yes even I am an nctzen !!😀💚

[@prithvibathla3841]

@@Chocolavacakeloco is it becoz of sexual turn on or persnality and emotions

[@ivythealiencat]

Same bro my charicter in my story is viewed as "a sensitive loser" with mommy issues. But I like him 👉👈

[@gwainoj]

It is also key to note that if 54% fit on one side of a dichotomy, the other 46% sits on the other, making generalizations, well, broadly generalized. Each person has their own needs, wants and preferences. I had a roommate that would go to the gym every day and when he came back, he would often ask me, "What do you think? Will girls like me now?" I had to remind him that different people have different preferences, and he would only attract girls that have physical health as a high priority, and that ultimately, since he planned on being monogamous, that he just needs to be attractive to one key person.

[@scottanno8861]

Even worse, the female gaze can tend towards the male gaze during certain points of the ovulatory cycle (especially during ovulation itself). This muddies the waters even more

[@daveanaitor]

Wow. Thoroughness in research and examples. Fleshed out, evidence based ideas, structured so cohesively that there's little more to add than thank you and well done. Even as someone who has some difference of opinion on a point or two, I am subscribing because content such as this deserves to be promoted.

[@hailieisabitch]

I always thought “why tf do people like timothee?!” and then I watched dune. Same thing with Tom holland. They aren’t very sexy at first glance, but the level of charm these guys possess is off the charts. They have mastered the ability to showcase the best aspects of their personalities and making you believe it’s 100% genuine and reflects their real life.

[@You-th3cn]

oh my god literally me too lmfao . i didnt like his ass but he was SOOO good in dune… good for him :)

[@blaulin]

Same haha. I only began really appreciating him after Dune.

[@RANDOM-pf1ve]

They are just handsome! that's it! looks are the personality

[@painunending4610]

the fact that you said 'making you believe' implies that you know that it isnt 100% genuine and doesnt reflect real life. so its not real? i don't understand how something that you know isnt real is more attractive than just a guy being a guy

[@blaulin]

@@painunending4610 You misunderstood. The assumption is not that it's not real, the assumption is that it's probably real but we don't know for sure. Their personalities are very genuine. BUT. They're still celebrities, and it's good to not be too naive.

[@sankalpakharel5755]

ah yes i too love timothee CHARLEMAGNE

[@DonnaIRL]

MY BAD

[@DankSpoony]

Incoming Charlemagne fans 🙄🙄

[@MaresApple]

You’re not gonna believe how many names the Russian fandom has for Timofei Chardonnay

[@siliconebelly]

@@DonnaIRL how did you find all this footage with using that name lmao

[@daanwillemsen223]

Timothee Charlemagne as next Frankish Emperor 🇪🇺👑😍🇪🇺

[@syedzaidi6606]

I'm watching this almost 2 years later and just I gotta say everything is so on point and gives people regardless of who they are or where they come from, a lot of introspection. Bravo 👏⭐

[@godblissfulfun]

You left no point unnaddressed. You addressed all possible points in this topic the right way. I'm so proud to be living with humans like you❤❤💯

[@TheLeah2344]

I use to change myself to meet the male gaze but not anymore. I was one of the “pick me girls” who would say I’m not like other girls and I tried so hard to not fit the angry black woman stereotype. Now I have learned to embrace my skin color, my hair, and who I am as a person. It took me a long time to embrace my dark skin and natural hair because of the discrimination I faced but now I love who I am inside and out.

[@XZ-III]

I think the color of you skin takes up your headspace too much. Just be yourself despite whatever you are tbh...

[@yungmentalproblems]

Good for you although I'd be wary of the black pill... It's like nihilism in that you shouldn't let it control you

[@LegioXXI]

" I tried so hard to not fit the angry black woman stereotype" So wait... you mean, you actually *are* an angry (black) woman? Imho being a decent person is one of the most attractive properties anyone can have, no matter what gender or skin color.

[@TheLeah2344]

And I’m blocking y’all because clearly you don’t understand how hard it is to be a black woman. Yes it’s about skin color. Y’all sound really ignorant acting like racism doesn’t exist.

[@SJ-ry9er]

@@LegioXXI im pretty sure she ment that she tried her best not get angry even when it would be justified, because she wouldn't want to be labeled as the angry black woman stereotype.

[@MayaMickaMicak]

I want to point out that in the scenario of a guy asking the girl to sleep with him there are a lot of social constraints that prevent the girl from saying yes, as well as the fear most of us have of being assaulted or worse and the general concern for safety in those situations, so both the social and safety aspect affect the results of the study and should somehow be taken into consideration. Great content from you as always!

[@nathancasey7712]

Also most men aren’t even sexually attractive enough to get an instant positive response in that scenario.

[@Kknderbueno]

I think there’s also the aspect that for a lot of women, enjoyable sex takes more work and partner engagement than it does for a lot of men. Like a dude can be really hot, but if he approaches me for sex and I know absolutely zero about him, even if I negate the safety aspect and the social stigmatization, I could go to have sex with him and end up totally unsatisfied. I know this is possible for men, too, but not to the same degree. Like I’m not going to risk it for mediocre or terrible sex, even if the dude is hot.

[@RANDOM-pf1ve]

The reason that man said yes is bcz most guys are not having sex at all so they will take any opportunity that comes in front of them. It's not bcz of the safety aspect, if that looked like Henry Cavill then all of them would say yes!

[@chevynxu362]

Like, yeah c’mon i don’t even know you and you wanna do me? I think it’s hella weird. Dude can be a serial killer and i would never figured it out.

[@nathancasey7712]

@@livingmasquerade1418 Just because women settle for average or ugly men doesn't mean they want to. I mean look at how high the divorce rate is and who initiates it. Most men don't have super attractive long term partner how does that even make sense

[@TheSupertedd]

Excellent content. Grounded in evidence but also accessible. The perfect video essay on this subject!

[@PCDisciple]

Your video essays are among the best on KZbin. I remember your Alex from Target video too, always makes me think.

[@nightsmelodyful]

"she doesnt have time to carry a low quality, 99 cent genetics for nine months" BRUH THIS HITS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT. IVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nathancasey7712]

Uh oh

[@nightsmelodyful]

@@nathancasey7712 uh oh?

[@leonardo9259]

@@nightsmelodyful uh oh

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

Your pregnant?

[@leonardo9259]

@@tobiaslawrence8928 what about her pregnant

[@HopeeInk]

Ryan Reynolds is actually someone who fits both the Male and Female Gaze. He’s masculine and well toned, has a lot of interests in male dominate fields. But is also carrying, charming and has a sensitive side to him catering to female audiences. I believe that’s something that many top actors hold and that’s why they on top.

[@pikachuthunderbolt3919]

Actually media and society have built up men and women more like this rather than more fault of nature . What we see continuously and fed up from surroundings we become one of them .

[@cribird9263]

Really? In my opinion and in the opinion of most of my female gaze Ryan Reynolds’s only fits the male gaze, as all our male friends find him attractive and all of our female friends don’t.

[@youaretearingmeapartlisa7253]

I don't think hes attractive

[@MewMewSun]

@@youaretearingmeapartlisa7253 you and me are the minority in this :(

[@youaretearingmeapartlisa7253]

@@MewMewSun I actually was best friends with a girl who dated a guy that looked exactly like him and I'm like " ehh he's okay I guess "

[@HoundInAHotBox]

This was a very captivating video that I enjoyed watching. The direction of the video was fluid making it easy to follow and I gained some understanding about this topic. I'm very happy that I found this discussion because I recently was thinking of this specific idea.

[@sdfhkm]

I really really enjoyed this video. It perfectly described some thoughts and assumptions I had regarding on the topic but had been unable to put into words. Subscribed! 😊

[@CourtneyCoulson]

The promiscuity studies don't seem to take into account that women need to protect themselves as a man asking to take you to a second location may very likely want to harm or kill you. A woman is seen as non-threatening, so men always assume they're safe.

[@cookies6455]

Exactly.

[@fatimahanwaar306]

exactly

[@thepagecollective]

This is sensationalism. 77% of murder victims are men. Women simply scare easier and demand more security than men. Because a male life is more expendable. If you have three men and three women, you can kill two men and still get three families. Kill two women and you only get one family. Women have a psycho-sexual attraction to dangerous men and have a habit of spreading it onto all men with studies created to make sensationalist headlines.

[@crimson6952]

God damn this is such a braindead comment section

[@Thereisanalienpresenceonearth]

@@crimson6952 I know, it’s like I’m losing brain cells

[@norikadolmy7274]

As a gay man, I only ever once rejected someone because they were fat and I didn't find them attractive, but I certainly didn't tell them that so rudely. I just told them they weren't my type-- you can reject someone gracefully without hurting their feelings. This reminds me of one time when I was in a gay club, and heard one thin white gay say to his thin white friend that only thin white gay people should be going to clubs. And that was in toronto, one of the most diverse places in North America

[@extrasagrada]

i can't imagine rejecting someone harshly. that's so cruel for no reason

[@fucksusan.fuckcensorship.874]

what those thin guys said is pretty whack. if i was the clubbing type i wouldn't be saying "oh ya people who im not attracted to shouldn't show up to the club" they should mind their own business. respect to you for keeping it civil with people you're not into. Like i get the fact no one is really OWED common decency but what's so wrong with showing it more. Kindness costs nothing to give but so many rather be dicks about shit for no reason. So props to you for being few with common decency.

[@girlsquad224]

Agree. Try to be polite whenever possible even in instances like what you've said. A simple social etiquette most people nowadays forget.

[@FiddleYourTiddle666]

I legitimately don’t understand how certain people can be so narcissistic when they literally contribute nothing to this world

[@babymoon5282]

Hurt people, hurt other people

[@philoki]

I've never seen such a detailed and thought out analysis paired with contemporary relevance on youtube.

[@hagelslag9312]

This was a pretty good video that touched upon a few topics I haven’t seen discussed often before.

[@like90]

As a bisexual married woman, I find that I’m attracted to male gaze women and female gaze men. This is so interesting.

[@NKCRX]

same

[@32Theresa]

Omg, you put it so well! Watching Megan Fox in Transformers made me confused about my sexuality & I realized I was attracted to women. But for men, I’m not attracted to the buff, show offy guys. This video was fascinating to me

[@lindboknifeandtool]

I think that’s incredibly common.

[@MissMarvel_]

As a lesbian, I'm attracted to all the types of women in the video. I think I just really like women. Belle Delphine and the female protagonists that women relate to.

[@32Theresa]

@@MissMarvel_ I love that 😌💕

[@jonathanmarois9009]

I think the best rule is to become and embody what you want to attract... *BUT* at the most basic level, it's most important to find someone who genuinely loves and takes care of themselves (physically and mentally). Self love is the first love and, _"when we love ourselves we know that we can give without becoming resentful, exhausted and depleted, and we can receive because we know we deserve it."_

[@DonnaIRL]

Preach

[@subarux4054]

Wow, the self love part... 🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@amorelockster1023]

I agree

[@johnwalker1058]

Hey! An online comment that not only doesn't spew hate or misinformation, but actually bestows some information that is not only true and informative, but also wise and constructive toward building virtue and good character in a way that was interesting! Have a like good sir! (And have a nice day as well!)

[@wobbuchu9019]

Very very very true

[@richardyoung5429]

I especially want to thank you for putting the referred studies in your sources.

[@Koyito_]

Its insane that this video is good enough to make me want to watch the whole 50 minutes!!

[@AndaraBledin]

The study talking about the number of women willing to go to a strange guy's place and the number of men willing to go to a strange gal's place says pretty much nothing at all about promiscuity, and is actually about FEAR. If they never asked the follow-up question of WHY or WHY NOT, then the "study" is just a bunch of numbers lacking context that you can twist any way you want.

[@megrocks3026]

It's also because women are expected to have less partners, and if she sleeps around a lot, then she's cheap. Whereas promiscuous men are celebrated.

[@TwoBs]

Yea, I’ve watched enough true crime shows to know better.

[@aesyamazeli8804]

True. Don't everyone watch true crime shows?

[@gotit4cheap368]

THIS. THANK YOU. I'm sitting here like I would love to bang a random guy, I love sex, but the danger is just to much. I wish women had the room to be sexually free but we don't.

[@stevetheiii477]

@@megrocks3026 yea because getting sex as a man is wayyyyyyyy harder so a man who gets a lot of sex is probably seen as desirable and preselected while men who don’t really get sex are seen as worthless and losers

[@Solararisa]

Honestly, the way men think what women find attractive vs what women actually find attractive is so vastly different. It was always interesting to see whenever I told my male friends what I found attractive, or what other female friends of our age found attractive was "shocking" or "weird" to them. Men who groom themselves, and are open and sensitive. Men generally tend to think that being like one of those Alpha Male videos that are on KZbin is what is attractive to women, but it isn't, really. In all my years of watching western media, the first time I found a male character attractive was Newt Scamander of Fantastic Beasts, he was vulnerable, he was sensitive (I recommend watching the video the fantastic masculinity of Newt Scamander on KZbin) . Which is why I think Timothee, Tom Holland, or in general South Korean (I should probably clarify I am talking about Kpop celebs where the male celebs do present themselves in a more "prettier" way, not that all S.Korean men are feminine or effeminate) men being popular among women had a negative reception among men. It went against what they thought was attractive to women all this time. This was an interesting watch. Edit: Some people seem to be taking my comment out of context, I never said women don't find or can't find buff or masculine men attractive, of course they can. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and to each to their own. I said 'Alpha' males on youtube who treat women lesser than men are definitely not something women find attractive. That's not the type of dominative behavior women find attractive, which men tend to think women do. The reason I mentioned feminine men was, it has always been widely believed that feminine men are unattractive to women. Which is simply not true, femininity is attractive to women. Not that buff or masculine men aren't attractive. Edit 2: If you are having a bad day, don't open the reply section. I won't be replying anymore because it's full of people twisting my words even after a long and elaborate edit, lol.

[@maryammalik7176]

@Ugh THIS

[@Solararisa]

@Ugh Exactly.

[@AnneGcovers]

well said and I agree

[@continuouswave34]

I love how you made this a “mens” problem, but the whole video is about how men AND WOMEN do it. Classic feminism.

[@Solararisa]

@@continuouswave34 I only mentioned men because obviously I don't know what men think about as a woman, lmao. Classic hate for feminism.

[@ReneeHoward-wo5ls]

This is such a great video essay, so well put together and so many layers to consider. Thank you!

[@neiljohnsemaning6227]

This gives a whole new meaning to "you're not ugly, you're just not your type"

[@ivythealiencat]

I wanna be my type tho? Inspirational quote failed

[@nj2342]

@@ivythealiencat um not rlly, its just a quote for ppl who think they're ugly. if u dont want to think ur ugly, that's on you.

[@ivythealiencat]

@@nj2342 I dont think I'm ugly. I just dont likemy charicter design. (I dont knwo how else to discribe it)

[@mtithewoodentank4817]

It's a way to sugar coat you being unattractive to a large percentage of people.

[@criticaldrive7688]

Hope you’re all doing alright.

[@jennisangel4537]

This entire video i was like “oh that’s why men think Ryan reynolds is more attractive than women think he is” and then you said “Ryan reynolds” and I felt like a genius

[@killerch33z]

As a dude I dont understand the ryan reynolds thing at all. Timothee chalamet, however, 100% i get it. Dude is dream guy material, and im straight, lol.

[@yanstein8464]

one of my male friends once said matthew mcconaughey is the perfect man all who gets all women, and i was like "well... yeah, but no" don't get me wrong, he's not bad looking, but i feel like he's more of a role model for straight guys than anything (also considering he mostly stars in male-oriented films)

[@Powerhaus88]

@@killerch33z If you think that skinny, feminine boy is "dream guy material" then you need to look around the closet before the broom hits you in the face.

[@killerch33z]

@@Powerhaus88 cringe

[@suchismithakn]

@@Powerhaus88 so you're telling me you did not watch the video, please watch it

[@user-qx4vs7ne8w]

Wow. This was the most informative documentary I’ve ever seen. It feels as if my third eye had opened.

[@MikolajZMiasta]

Physical infidelity always roots in emotional infidelity. If you are true to your partner, and your feelings are genuine, you wouldn't cheat. On the other hand, some former partners would get extremely jealous if I said something positive about my female friends, or meet with them for chit-chats. It's kinda weird to me that most people in relationships expect their partner to get rid of their opposite-sex friends. Great video BTW!

[@cabbage-soup]

i've seen a lot of ppl (who are now v dedicated to their wives) cheat. i think it stems not necessarily from a lack of love, but from a general discontent with their lives. i think it's not necessarily unfair for ppl to feel jealous. after all, there's nothing you can do to prevent your partner from cheating, and even if they do, it's not really their Fault per se. they often don't even realize when they're emotionally cheating, and will grow incredibly upset with you if you point it out to them. and yet, after you break up, they'll end up marrying the person they "were not emotionally cheating on you with" when you spend less time with your depressed, emotional, postpartum wife to commiserate with an understanding female colleague, who's to say you're more than just friends? who's to say the wife's not just being overly possessive and jealous?

[@zerotoanime3953]

It depends. You maybe need to if your friends are trying to get with you still romantically even though your in a relationship. Its far more common then you realize.

[@aliveslice]

​@@cabbage-soupstudies show that women are more likely to cheat in the relationship where they're dissatisfied while men would cheat regardless of their satisfaction simply if the opportunity presents itself, for "variety". Men moment.

[@imadilias7307]

​@cabbage-soup this is exactly what a cheater would say.

[@elinope4745]

People change over time, the person you married isn't always the person you are now married too. Your feelings may have been genuine then, but not anymore. This is why it is important in relationships to take active steps to grow together.

[@maryfreegirl2029]

i'm sure the comment section of this video will be very respectful and kind to the opposite genders and won't start spewing out stereotypes about each other at all :)

[@DonnaIRL]

The comments are going to be TOXIC the minute this video is seen by people outside my subscriber base.

[@maryfreegirl2029]

@@DonnaIRL exactly what i thought ahah

[@XZ-III]

I mean... with a topic like this and plus how normalized men and women pseudo hate each other these days... wtf did u guys expect? But in all actually i don't really see it that much in this comment section but this video is still new

[@shizzlemywizzle1]

@@XZ-III What kind of discussion were you hoping to start with this comment

[@PeterGriffin11]

The comments aren't that bad...so far at least.

[@equisde991]

As a straight man, i honestly think we are just as insecure about our bodies as gay men and women, we just learn at a young age that it is not "manly" to be insecure about that, or about anything for that matter. So we just pretend we don't care.

[@amannamed_8072]

Exactly. Every man I've ever known well has been insecure about their bodies

[@18poc12poc7ms]

i think we need to make men even more insecure to humble them

[@waluigistan3974]

no

[@waluigistan3974]

im genderfluid but why the hell would you do that

[@xcalium9346]

@@18poc12poc7ms Wtf is wrong with you??

[@spammus1]

38:07 Hey thank you for including me in the video! I'm flattered

[@bunymustard2584]

As a straight, older, happily married man, from a more alt-perspective... this was a lot more honest/interesting, than I would have imagined

[@Raven_Black_252]

As a female, I found it really true that we look for sensitivity and emotions more in men, even if it means them being goofy and this explains why I always loved Andy from Parks and Rec so much. Funny guy, not the best body shape and stuff but loveable, emotional, can do anything for his love interest etc.

[@weaksupremacy3799]

Sensitivity and emotions in men are only valued when you meet unattractive rich man. Other time most women go for tall, handsome , muscular and attractive men.

[@Raven_Black_252]

@@weaksupremacy3799 and that concludes you did not understand a single thing from what I said. I said Andy, a not very attractive goofy and penniless but sensitive and emotinal man, is the type of guy I liked very easily and naturally. Completely opposite of what you are saying.

[@longhornmed]

@@Raven_Black_252 Women tend to like beta traits when on hormonal birth control. You'd be an exception if you use non-hormonal birth control.

[@Raven_Black_252]

@@longhornmed i don't use at all

[@Lauren_3000]

@@longhornmed Please stop watching alpha male videos. I'm begging. Look at the men around you who are married. Look at the men in romance movies that are there specifically to appeal to women

[@TheKaappari]

The self ranking in the jubilee video seems more like a social dominance hierarchy than attractiveness ranking. In both rankings the person looking the most disagreeable, tough and imposing is at the top while the friendliest and nicest looking people are at the bottom.

[@martiananomaly]

Yessir

[@fakename3440]

So the rule is if you want to seem attractive to the people of your own sex, look intimidating but if you want a boyfriend or girlfriend, look friendly.

[@thisisntallowed9560]

I think they just made it random as to not offend anyone

[@Vivi_9]

I haven't finished the video yet but am amazed that the overweight chick was voted 2nd most attractive by herself and other women, that is just entitlement imo

[@tomatoMarz]

@@Vivi_9 It’s not that surprising really, since the video touched on how women generally don’t view physical attractiveness as a necessity.

[@bodiless99]

I'm shocked their was no mention of male height in physical attractiveness for women.

[@theelectricprince8231]

This video is gaslighting

[@comradesillyotter1537]

Letting your insecurity bleed into everything is bad for your soul

[@isabella6075]

That’s true taller men are seen as more attractive

[@rajnishgupta8988]

It was so good, I didn;t realize I was half way in to an hour long essay. Amazing!!

[@kanakana2438]

I love how professional, well paced, detailed, polished and formal this video study was. I'm assuming you studied Journalism for your major? You are really talented for putting this together!

[@aurora-rx4kc]

If i remember right i think she has studied Psychology. But nevertheless her videos are very interesting

[@rogercruz1547]

nowadays I feel like people who have studied are trend followers and independent self-taught artists are trend setters... I too used to assume people had formal education on what they are talking but I'm always wrong doing that recently

[@meatsaucez1516]

Lol. I think those are reasons why she probably did NOT study journalism.

[@maltsday]

Definitely seems like she's studied Freud and Adler, therefore Psychology

[@TitovIgorBro]

And I, on the other hand, love how INformal this video is. This channel stands out from other essay kind of channels because this girl (woman? idk) adds character to her videos. These moments when she's being witty, cracking dumb jokes, etc. make these videos so much more engaging

[@kettenschlosd]

this video is amazing. it is honestly the only thing ive ever seen that explains "manosphere" stuff in a non offensive manner to women and feminist stuff in a way inoffensive to men. good job. this is the kind of open, non judgemental conversation we need in this day and age. edit: spelling

[@IrvingIV]

I came here to feel attacked and I'm honestly having a very good time right now.

[@flamcheeseful]

Facts dont lie.

[@spaghetto9836]

M-hm. As someone who watches & likes creators from both extremes (say, Critical Drinker, Dr. Shaym, etc. but also stuff from Khadija Mbowe, Tara Mooknee, etc.), I love seeing one creator who can do both, bringing everyone together like an Avatar of some sort. The only other youtuber I personally feel also does this is Madisyn Brown, and if I turn into a creator one day, that's how I want to be as someone who sees both sides.

[@user-pd9ju5dk5s]

nah, what we need is for inflation to go down

[@Cecilia-ky3uw]

@@spaghetto9836 ive watched critical drinker, he asseses shit quite finely, and it seems a good portion of what hes saying is true, specifically about terrible writing logic, shutting down your brain is sure fun from time to time, but you cant have it all the time

[@phils5294]

This attractiveness test shown has a big problem. It didn't happen anonymously. So especially the women chose more in a social way, to not be judged.

[@jamesmccloud7535]

True. Women who like traditionally masculine men will be more hesitant to say it in public.

[@MattiMCFC]

The video is a year old, and you probably won't see this, but this is one of the best videos I've ever seen on KZbin

[@celticfallenangel]

*one of the reasons women may have turned down sex from a stranger is because its literally a life or death situation* A man, while it does happen, is less likely to be taken advantage of by a stranger offering sex than a woman.

[@spaceowl5957]

As a European male I feel like this is such a American take. Everyone in the US is soo afraid of strangers. People carry weapons, they avoid going outside at night. Kids aren’t allowed to be in public on their own. People are terrified of hitchhiking and terrorism. If you look at the statistics, (even tho the US is like the most violent country ever) this makes no sense at all. None of these things that Americans are so afraid of are actually realistically dangerous at all. Crime rates have gone way down since your parents generation, yet they didn’t have any of these fears growing up. It’s just a cultural thing in the US to be so terrified all the time. I don’t think it’s healthy

[@PennyNickelMcGee]

Not just life or death, but also rape, assault, pushing boundaries or "taking advantage" like you said, stalking etc. I do agree with SpaceOwl though, the fear culture is real

[@simba8665]

CAP

[@PUNishment777]

no one ever believes male victims

[@maksymriabov1356]

yeah, i don't know if I'd answer "yes" because diseases, because I might get turned down to slavery, which happened numerous times in a past... anything

[@kpr4225]

I don't think I've ever ranked a person like a number. I'm kind of put off by the sheer concept.

[@magical-soap5359]

Yeah, I'm wondering how sex appeal gets pinned to numbers?? That sounds too simplistic for me!

[@worldwideugly3753]

Yeah me too. Someone is my type or not but i can objectivly tell most of the time what makes them attractive to other people but i could never put this on a 1-10 scale. Its not build a bear.

[@clairemondemanseau1250]

Right? I don't even understand how it works ?

[@astoldbynickgerr]

It has always felt disgusting to me. I remember it was a trend to do that in middle school on FaceBook. My friend kept asking me to rank this girl from a 1-10 and I felt sick to my stomach and just said 10.

[@arsenal4444]

a way to conceptualize it and capture the meaning most people give the rating number is percentile as in, a 7 is roughly more attractive overall than 70% of all possible mates 9 is above 90% of everyone else, 10 is top 1% in my personal experience the similarity from one person to another rating is decently accurate up to a 6 or 7 most of the time, anything above that tends to be super subjective also I'm a guy so obv this is for when men are rating, women rating men is a whole different topic with totally different variables

[@AlixL96]

From what I've found, out of the many traits that scientific studies have claimed to identify as attractive, pretty much none of them can be reliably be connected to health, except from the most banal and basic "no signs of a current serious injury."

[@m00nalien]

I totally agree. I'm in very good health, but I'm less attractive than a woman with worse health but a beautiful face and figure I don't see a connection

[@kwoltekublai3337]

iq has been correlated with birth order (later being better) on basis of women's hips getting wider post giving birth allowing for larger children - I don't see why this would not apply to women with wider hips initially. There is also going to be lower chance of death during childbirth (from a subconscious perspective based on childbirth historically). Breast size can be correlated with milk production which again can be correlated with lower infant mortality and higher infant growth rates (somewhat historical). Nice looking hair can be correlated with health directly, in terms of protein production, access to protein (historically in short supply) and nutrient levels. Fat depositions (ass) can be correlated with ability to continue to term/breastfeed in adverse conditions, eg a famine or food shortage (historically). BMI can be correlated with increased health directly and in most cases self control. Fashion/Style and general hygiene can be correlated with ability to recognise social norms/trends and self implement them. A lot of these are antiquated but as they are subconscious they still survive. If predispositions like this exist, it is because they are evolutionarily advantageous or were at one time - tbh its pretty egotistical to think you know better than trait preferences developed through evolution over millions of years (that they are/were baseless).

[@diegosotomiranda4107]

​@@m00nalieni find bs when people talk about healthy when in reality they talk about "looking healthy" and it's just bs, cause everything comes to looks anyways.

[@ategevuma7218]

Very impressive in-depth video! Great analysis!

[@alejandroespinosa7085]

i would also add to the male and female promiscuity safety as a big factor why female don't agree to more sexual encounters, women are more likely to be targeted by violence in a sex enconter than men, and femicide is still a big factor to consider when we talk about different conditions between men and womens sex life.

[@AedanBlackheart]

Speak for yourself women who want sexual encounters randomly usually are crazy...

[@alejandroespinosa7085]

@@AedanBlackheart let's not generalize some judgement towards women based on "usually". The numbers speak for themselves, women are twice more likely to suffer from violence than men. Men that have random sexual encounters would think twice before doing anything if they had twice as many chances to end up dead or abused.

[@friggen_roylty4368]

We have many chances to do so. But if we talk about numbers, most victims of assault know their attacker. Unfortunately this is something we can't throw under the rug when we mention safety.

[@GiRR007]

@@alejandroespinosa7085 We have to judge based on usually, thats the same level of judgment you use. And USUALLY females who are naturally more promiquous than their peers are more common to have other undesirable character traits.

[@alejandroespinosa7085]

@@GiRR007 thats an opinion based on generalization, to make a propper judgement you need to based that on statistics and numbers.

[@valencia4253]

I'm convinced you've cracked the algorithm formula of my brain. I was in bed, the other day and thought "Why don't people like 'ugly' people?" And "The Male/Female Gaze ideology" I tend to think in conspiracy theories, so I was up all night doing research and writing my essay/script. Then I lost "The KZbinrs confidence" and never executed the idea. Your video is amazing and informative. With perfect timing as the cherry on top. Thank you for making this video. Fingers crossed this reaches the masses, beyond your subscriber count. Everything about your content is just *chef's kiss!* ❤😘👌🏿

[@XZ-III]

ok this chefs kiss thing is annoying that's being typed WAY too much today and I read it on like other out of context yt comments lately such a dumb thing to say and many 'red pill" channels have talked about this for years now so all your points are just dumb. & if this reaches the masses but those previous videos didn't then that just tells me people care about girl's opinions more than mens 99 out of 100 times & wouldn't surprise me in the slightest

[@PeterGriffin11]

@@XZ-III okay?

[@XingAoShen]

@@XZ-III sucks to suck buddy

[@pandaexpress7673]

@@XZ-III you need sleep or something

[@th-ck9vl]

@XZ III Bro shut up. Nobody listens to red pill because they come at shit with a misogynistic take and nobody wants to suffer through that garbage.

[@blank6546]

This video was one of the most engaging things I’ve watched or consumed in years. Thank you for all the research and work you put into this it was incredibly well done.

[@romario_pashtet]

Very well made and exhaustive video, thank you!

[@ZenDragonYoutubeChannel]

8:00 is rooted in general gender differences, but also the cultural expectations (a woman will feel more social pressure to decline a direct request for sex than a male), the culture has arisen from our (general) natural inclinations but then made it more pronounced with the expectations put on each gender.

[@brothlcreeprs]

Security was something else I was thinking. Women wouldn't feel safe going to a stranger's house while a man might feel more in control of that situation.

[@ZenDragonYoutubeChannel]

@@brothlcreeprs Also a factor indeed

[@lumilenm__m5304]

Exactly lol even if those women wanted to have sex with those men right then and there, they'd be risking humiliation, called a wh*re, tainted reputation, etc. at best (wont even talk about the worst case scenario), Whereas males would be celebrated for their "achievement"... Social norms be damned, we'd have a better chance of evolving from our shallow monkey brains if only we would stop and THINK dammit. It's not just about biology and "HuMaN NaTuRE". Not anymore.

[@nathancasey7712]

@@brothlcreeprs I don’t even understand why any men in that video said yes. Obviously if she was 100% serious I would most likely be down but that’s not even a thing that happens in this universe so I would be so skeptical I wouldn’t take it seriously. I guess men really are naive lol

[@meepmoop2308]

@@arunkeshavadas7171 as a gen z i usually hear words like thot, hoe, etc. rather than whore. whore feels a little antiquated.

[@rashotcake6945]

people often feel very strongly about what they think is attractive/unattractive to men/women but in reality, it’s really relative and ambiguous due to how diverse male and female tastes can be, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure

[@user-zy7jx2rn1j]

that's very true. My mom always liked to watch kickboxing and fangirled over fighters while her sister preferred boy band groups and more feminine men. Everyone's got their own tastes.

[@cinnamongirl9024]

i agree looking at the comments i cant belive there are women who find that pale looking bony guy attractive, nor do i understand the attraction towards Tom Holland.

[@thanosbutididntkillloki5373]

@@cinnamongirl9024 nah im sorry but if i ever saw tom holland irl id fucking pass out

[@matheusg1473]

That's relativism. Beauty has objective standards.

[@strawberrytear5870]

@@matheusg1473beauty doesn’t have objective standards :)

[@yushankkashyap7771]

Wow i watched whole 50 min. Amazing way of telling a topic. I loved the way this video essay is made

[@stopyouneedhelp6115]

I swear this subject is so nuanced too as I see stark differences in generations/ages/cultures and more

[@ScottE-2]

I can't help but respect the work you put into this along with every resource referenced in the description of the video. I honestly dislike it when people on YT don't add the links used with exception to some that are no longer available.

[@sarahfranco6802]

Definitely!

[@ashtonoakstand21]

As I’ve grown, I’ve also realized that what I’m attracted to is less about what I want in a partner and more about who I wanna become. But I fear I may have taken that too far, because now I’ve become the eccentric, absent-minded professor type who is actually the evil mastermind all along. Just waiting for my villain arc now. 🙃

[@yungmentalproblems]

I mean you look the part

[@ArcadiasPlanet]

See I can relate to this, am I attracted to you or do I want to be you, it's mainly this way with celebs

[@ashtonoakstand21]

@@yungmentalproblems What’s even better is that I went so far I ain’t even a cishet anymore. 👉😎👉

[@vizzo1138]

Probably have better luck finding a partner in an asylum if that's the case. Maybe give Batman a call, see if the Joker, Harlequin or whoever floats your boat is locked up to follow your "villain arc" or whatever lunacy fairy tale you have in mind Ms. Evil Mastermind.

[@ashtonoakstand21]

@@vizzo1138 Good suggestion! Humor is on point. 👌

[@jaspersaures8485]

I never thought I'd willingly watch a video that's almost an hour long on KZbin that isn't a movie and actually finish it. Well, at least now I know I don't have a short attention span hahah. Also, I'm glad you referenced your sources. More content creators should be doing that nowadays.

[@valeriasanchezpch]

Great research! Thanks for your effort, you did a great job. I love long content like this.

[@Xylospring]

In all honesty, the Monkey side of the human brain is weird. It's especially weird how weak the brain is to stuff like that.

[@elgringofeo9348]

Heh weaklings

[@MrPenetroso]

As many say "return to monke".

[@elgringofeo9348]

@@MrPenetroso yeeeeeaaaahhhh where my bananas

[@ecamp6955]

@@MrPenetroso R Uuu. C R

[@arsenal4444]

Is it really that weird to instinctively desire the best odds of ensuring your own and your children's survival? I'd say the real weird thing is what's happening lately with fostering societal norms that worsen individual and community odds.

[@huckmart2017]

I think another interesting thing is that there are multiple sub types to the "ideal woman." You have the sex icons like jessica rabbit. But you also have the more kind and motherly figures and the home makers. And theres other outliers like the manic pixie dream girl phenomena where a wild and free spirited women will come into a lonely mans life and break him out of his shell. These are all considered ideal for different types of men.

[@dearrationals]

Same with women. People are different and have different preferences. Some people just don't seem to want to accept that.

[@youngknowledgeseeker]

Yeah all 3 seem great in every movie I’ve seen. Be real nice to have merged into one super ideal lol. Jessica Rabbits physical appeal and Irresistible attraction, with the respect trust stability and genuine love for and of the kind/motherly/home figure, with the fun, exciting and unpredictable woman pixie personality that “helps you grow as a person/find yourself/etc”. The pixie one almost could be just a good friend “trope” if you take away the sexual appeal and sex, but those play a part in this “ideal”

[@IrvingIV]

@@youngknowledgeseeker I'm trying to imagine how this mess of traits would actually work and my first thought was essentially "she's possessed/she has multiple personalities." But to be fair, who a person is and how they act can vary wildly depending on what's happening around them. We've got the "customer service face," and then there's the classic of "don't talk to your boss how you talk to your friends."

[@jakebeansboy3755]

Suggesting that the "ideal" woman or even the "ideal" man are not a universal thing, but instead each person has their own vision

[@fastname6519]

@@dearrationals yeah it's preference I have shown alot of different photos of dudes to girls at my school some find them attractive some don't

[@zaidlacksalastname4905]

Really interesting and well made video. Glad I found this channel

[@alexanderberry3199]

I was skeptical of the video but good structure, great information and educational

[@jaystrickland4151]

What I really find interesting is how everyone when being ranked by the opposite gender takes a very defensive posture. You see a lot more self confident poses when people are being ranked by their own gender.

[@dathunderman4]

I lowkey felt like the guys wanted to be nice to the short guy whereas the girls wanted to be nice to the “overweight” girl.

[@OneShotStudio]

@@dathunderman4 idk lmao the short guy was pretty sharp

[@MadsterV]

Because your own gender's opinion doesn't really matter

[@cx5442]

@@MadsterV It matters when it comes to dating though

[@MadsterV]

@@cx5442 only if you want to date your own gender

[@kateb2643]

Dude, the disconnect between what most male-attracted women are actually into and what men are conviced it is would be funny if it weren't so destructive. You can't tell them either. The amount of times I've been accused of lying when I say that big muscles are a huge turn-off for me. Not only are they off-putting to look at, but they're typically attached to a person with fucked up priorities. Only a little way into the vid, but I just had to get that out

[@Window4503]

I mean, that’s the gist of both NiceGuys and NiceGirls. They’re both convinced that the other only wants what they themselves demand from a partner and can’t be convinced otherwise, even if they’re presented with multiple exceptions. I’d be really interested in what triggers those blinders and why so many of them both create and then reinforce their own dating hellscape.

[@TheFlypaste]

Commenting before watching the video. But: There is an actual reason for this. From a strategic perspective, the goal of being strong is so that you can enforce your claim over a woman by physically separating her from other men. So the purpose of having large muscles isn't to impress the woman, it's to intimidate competitors. In this fashion it is true that being highly muscular helps a man reproduce, and it's why men instinctively focus on muscular men: he's a direct competitor with the intention to get in your way. The problem is that we don't live in a tribal world anymore and a man can't just beat the shit out of any weaker guys that are interested in the woman he wants. So to reconcile this they convince themselves that "I have the instinctual understanding that being strong helps me reproduce, therefore it must be the case that women are attracted to me when I'm strong." Even though that's not true and not actually how it works. Additionally an argument could be made that huge muscles are actively unattractive to women because it implies at an instinctual level that the man intends to remove her freedom of reproductive choice.

[@chance4827]

You know, you aren't helping by body shaming and generalizing people with big muscles

[@casandra0]

Probably bc in movies with attractive actors they always get at least one shirtless scene or/and a shower scene. Maybe that's male gazey too but that's what I notice in media that seems geared towards women.

[@Dash-gn8ni]

i think you're just insecure

[@frankbacon1002]

Honestly the best way to attract the opposite sex is by not trying. Being yourself is hot which is why women like guys who look "natural" and men like girls who look "natural". Ie basically minimum amount of effort, good hygiene, and from there just adopt an aesthetic you personally think is cool and you're set. Of course low effort is an illusion itself, obviously you have to keep good skincare, excercise and eating habits as well as a modest level of success in your careers and or academics in order to really attract the other sex more easily, regardless of gender. Believe me girls a high paying job or a good college instantly gets you higher rated in most men's heads, at least the men you'd wanna associate with. Gone are the days of male insecurity about their partner earning more. And for guys, beauty is increasingly becoming a thing both men and women must grapple with, not exclusively a women's game anymore, so skincare and maybe even light makeup and definitely hair care is always an advantage.

[@ryanc970]

5:33 I wheezed laughing at the fact that the scientist talking about male promiscuity is called David Buss I wonder if he's friends with Ambutabuss

[@LeoSucculent]

For the jubilee video you seems to not take into consideration that the women may not have been really honest because of fear of a potential blacklash.

[@Idkwhatshappening12345]

And also the fact that they could easily get MURDERED

[@flyingstonemon3564]

Yooo Léo ? Sympa ! I wish you luck with your animations, they're super funny, keep going my guy, only french animator that does life stories I care to watch, humor is on point 👍

[@AXharoth]

blacklash xD

[@mikeycoronel558]

you mean being judged? backlash is too too far of a aggressive word in terms of connotation but i do agree seeing as women are weaker slower reaction time weaker coordination and slut shame each other to death

[@notaspeck6104]

@@AXharoth ...? yes? Backlash. Do you need a dictionary or smthn? Lol.

[@_Usakoi_]

I'm watching this as an asexual... and it just validates even more for me that I'm asexual. 🤣

[@abdullahmohamed1417]

skskksksk

[@unaverse6965]

Well- same xD But I am also biromantic and probably will always be unsatisfied cause it‘s always about sex :‘)

[@shreyakamble1578]

@@unaverse6965 same😭

[@unaverse6965]

@@shreyakamble1578 It‘ll be fine :‘)

[@towel1636]

@@unaverse6965 Sameee

[@Gueropollo]

Congratulations for this great video, you can clearly see the honest reality thru a clear lense and not thru an impossed or fixed one.

[@gregrisen5854]

Thank you a lot. Evette is very decent job you've done ✅👍 During this video have learned a lot about myself as a male and how much am I intact with modern culture and what can I expect for myself. Especially thank you for your last message in the video work on what you want to attract. As well as was very important to distinguish the approach in attractiveness of male and female... I think I will watch this video I want more time later. Thanks a lot

[@NoahSightman]

I wasn't expecting this level of depth, but I got so satisfied by what you explain and how you did it. Social media definitely needs to promote more of this kind of content.

[@NaisanSama]

Same

[@inari3298]

yes but money leh

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

But it won't. Sex sells and people will cope and lie to be able to sell it. Like, aren't all OnlyFans porn actors always preaching some bullshit about "female empowerment" and "sexual liberation"? Why do they feel the need to cope with that by doing porn in the first place? Yeah... It's not healthy in many aspects.

[@amarazo8499]

gotta love how the “ideal woman trope” belle delphine fed into was infantilizing

[@RANDOM-pf1ve]

@@arunkeshavadas7171 genetics over behaviour, remember "Justice for Cameron" and how women were defending him. also there were literally women wanting to marry Richard Ramirez despite knowing to want horrendous crimes he had done.

[@jose91807]

@@arunkeshavadas7171 actually when we talked about morality in this topic it doesn't exist it all it is "°amoral" since we have no fault or choice for liking who we like

[@AntiSoraXVI]

@Natalie I think everyone here is realizing that men and women aren’t that different and both do the same/similar terrible shit (or good shit)

[@marajade9573]

@@arunkeshavadas7171 That’s not “male” bullies, that’s all bullies, female too. And the relation of causality is reversed to how you seem to be implying. Boys/girls are more likely to become bullies because they have access to a lot of sexual partners, it’s not that they have more sexual partners because they are bullies. You’re really trying to blame male bullying on women too now? Wow, no accountability for men lol.

[@kurlykayla9013]

@@arunkeshavadas7171 Gtfo with that incel bs

[@loganaustin1006]

Very good job Donna. This was executed perfectly.

[@user-zy7jx2rn1j]

I believe this has a lot to do with a humans love of familiarity but i noticed with men we tend to like women with some masculine traits as it is more comfortable and easy to be around, and the same seems to apply to women to in the opposite way. Humans have a love for what is familiar because it provides us a sense of comfort and security. I haven't seen the full video yet so maybe it'll be mentioned later on but its something i wanted to point out.

[@kurlykayla9013]

I have a major crush on Adam Driver, and the amount of men (and some women) who express complete shock at that fact is staggering to me. There is clearly a disparity in what men expect women to find attractive vs what women actually find attractive.

[@calmingbabysleep1256]

He is gorgeous. looks and personality

[@haysdixon6227]

i had this same realization, i told a guy i know i think he looks like adam driver (saw no problem with this, i don’t find adam driver particularly attractive but not worse looking than the average actor, so pretty good) and he thought of it as an insult… then later i found out all the people in that friendgroup find adam driver ugly

[@randomlygeneratedname7171]

@@haysdixon6227 it so random every guy could be seen as hot or ugly this is funny

[@haiqal5333]

Adam Driver seems shy, awkward but confident, caring and does not take himself too seriously. It also adds that he is handsome and tall, maybe because he was in the army too is a factor of his attractive personality. IDK i am just speculating.

[@RANDOM-pf1ve]

He is a outlier, the only reason he is attractive is bcz of his status that's it! If u strip that away I don't think ppl would would find him attractive.

[@craneoflores]

I meant to just play this video in the background while I folded my laundry but the argument was so fascinating I stopped and my eyes have just been glued to the screen. I love how you took a pretty rounded approach here - considering not only what males look for in females and vice versa, but what each gender likes about themselves and how these ideas might manifest in homosexual relationships.

[@Bizarro69]

mm-hm

[@vasanthan7200]

one of the greatest video essay I've ever watched my life

[@danowarkills4093]

This is a really well-balanced commentary

[@BrittPearceWatches]

At the Ted talk part all I could think of was DANGER! I wouldn’t just go to a mans apartment. That honestly sounds like danger to me! Whereas men don’t fear women in the same way we fear them.

[@nathancasey7712]

Agreed but I would never believe a woman if she said that to me in public without even knowing her.

[@leonardo9259]

@@nathancasey7712 yeah I'm not that attractive, that shits gotta be a prank

[@nathancasey7712]

@@leonardo9259 Dude even being attractive that’s not a thing that happens in this universe lol. Just makes no sense

[@zorlockts5744]

How do you know men don’t fear women In the same way we fear them when you’ve never had a single experience in life being a man ?

[@leonardo9259]

@@electricfishfan7159 chill

[@yoXneo]

Haha yup, can confirm, the older I gotten, the less masculine I've tend to try to be, and let my feminine energy/nature shine...the more attention I've gotten from my ideal partners 😊😂 Great analysis Donna! Glad to see you making more videos and amazing production value!

[@XZ-III]

I mean, at least you got the choice to act however you want and no one would look at you any different

[@yoXneo]

@@XZ-III Honestly it took me a long time to accept myself, even now still kinda sacred to be fully myself at times; it's a process. I noticed people tend to have a "reaction" based on how I identify. When I was acting out the ideal masculine (via society standards), I was lonely, depressed, only until I truly embraced my feelings, did I notice a positive change in how people interacted with me... Thats why I identify as non-binary now, bc I no longer focus on male or female aspects, it's just genuineness/vibes that's truly attractive, regardless of gender or sex. It's tough tho, societal standards really messed everyone up. Most of my depression and anxiety was due to my focusing on being the "ideal male" instead of being just me....life is counterintuitive

[@softestsoap]

@@yoXneo so true!! ive definitely gone through the same thought process and have a much better time just being myself. glad you were able to unlearn some of those obligations and feel more comfortable in your own identity!

[@yoXneo]

@@softestsoap Hey! Thank you so much, it’s nice to know others have had gone thru something similar. I’m glad you were able to unlearn certain biases and feel free to own who you truly are too!

[@harika_9399]

Guys who embrace their feminine side are always attractive!!

[@knowledgebank8076]

I'd like to thank you for spreading your knowledge.

[@madzuh0]

very interesting reading the comments from both men and women. i don’t think we will ever truly figure out what the opposite gaze is like because everyone has different views. which is perfectly okay. everyone is trying their best 😊

[@MeBerserk]

On top of that as with most things in life, when the game is finally figured out, the rules change

[@madzuh0]

@@MeBerserk yes exactly

[@isabella6075]

Men sexualise women look at female sports videos absolutely disgusting

[@sammy9139]

I love that we consider the opposite sex as more attractive if they have traits that are "typical" for their own sex (like gamer girls/boyish girls and boys having a soft side)

[@Aloyz3n]

and in theory that would mean that over time everyone will pick up on that strategy and start behaving more like the opposite sex, and in some years, maybe decades, maybe centuries, we will all be bros behaving about the same

[@clearfruit7901]

@@Aloyz3n you tripped over yourself in a single sentence by using the word "bros", yall really see male as the default gender.

[@billybob4159]

@@clearfruit7901😭🤡

[@caddin2620]

should he have said sisters or siblings? god you are ... Something.@@clearfruit7901

[@Rivershield]

That's a myth though

[@bex2759]

I liked the explanation of what the male and female gaze are. I'm not sure that it's mainly biologically innate though, a few of the papers linked in the description don't seem to rule out socialisation as a factor in the preferences studied.

[@Account.for.Comment]

Everything in human society is a combination of nature and nurture.

[@otakumangastudios3617]

Also from personal experience, I have done a lot of self-introspection and studied others around me, all aspects of male and female attraction is solely social. To me, excusing everything as biological doesn't fix anything, and it keeps a lot of social problems intact. Yes, it's innately biological to want to be sexually active, but, that cannot be defined by one thing or another. The only thing that's innately biological is interesting sexual intercourse, and that's it. How you're attracted or what you're attracted to whether on a physical or spiritual level, is completely independent person by person, or how society affects them and their opinion. Although, I have to say though, and this is something very very important we need to keep in mind as a society, since so many young people these days are so confused about their sexualities, we need to make a starker line between the differences. What I mean by this is, I know I have some point was confused whether I was perhaps even bisexual or even a lesbian, but eventually I realized that, biologically speaking, heterosexual intercourse is largely focused on the woman. That being said, it is completely healthy and normal from a heterosexual standpoint for a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman to be equally sexually aroused and or affected by seeing a sexualized woman. On the other hand, it is somewhat unnatural to be equally aroused by some random dude who happens to be sexualized, especially when it comes to muscles and such. Not to say that a heterosexual woman cannot be sexually aroused by a man, it just needs to be specifically her man and in a bedroom circumstance. A woman definitely can be sexually aroused visually speaking by a man, but it's purely contextual and relationship-based. For example I would be very much attracted to my man in that context, but I would not be randomly sexually aroused by some random dude who decided to take his shirt off in the street. In fact, I find that an extremely annoying situation, like bro, I don't want to see your man boobs LOL I don't like being stared at by bare nipples But anyways, society teaches us that heterosexual sex is purely male oriented, when it's actually pretty equal without social standards, but in a way kind of prioritizes women. In fact, and a lot of ancient religions, women are considered prioritized when it comes to sex. In fact, in the old testament, also known as the torah, it is mentioned that, a particular woman, named tamar, married three brothers each separately, and one of them died as a punishment by God because he refused to have sexual relations with her give love to his wife in that manner. So, that being said, if there has been ancient writings that speak of prioritizing female sexual pleasure, and also the fact that millions of women get sexually aroused by seeing another woman and trying to avert their gaze out of respect of that other woman, and also despite this sexual arousal that she might feel towards another woman, she would never ever ever actually want to be sexually active with another woman, just get sexual arousal from it. This proves this point, the fact that both heterosexual men and women are equally sexually aroused by seeing another woman, it does not render her bisexual. This is an important distinction we need to make, and I remember actually talking to a teenage girl about this, and for reference, I myself am in my late teens, so it wasn't anything strange or anything, I just happened to be later in adolescence then most of my peers, but anyways, I remember her talking to me about how she feels sexual arousal when she sees an alluring woman, but yet she doesn't actually have interest in having any sexual relations with a woman ever. She said that she was afraid of being lgbt, meaning that it didn't really fit with your personal identity, but she was afraid to be put into that box and it just didn't feel like it was authentic to her, but yet she didn't know what to do with this sense of sexual arousal towards the same gender. I assured her, as someone who has experienced the same thing, that it's perfectly normal for a heterosexual female, and it has nothing to do with lesbianism or bisexuality. On the other hand, if there was genuine interest in wanting to actually have sexual relations with a woman and not just so happens to be aroused by the appearance of another woman being naked, then that would be completely different and she would have to accept the fact that she was lgbt. This is why we need to make this dark differentiation, because so many kids end up feeling forced into a label that isn't them, because of these standards we have made that sex surounds a man, and so therefore believes that, if a woman doesn't automatically feel that same sexual arousal that a man might feel towards a woman, then therefore she must be gay on some level.

[@ShoulderMonster]

@@otakumangastudios3617 How interesting. I haven't seen someone put this into words quite beyond "all women are bisexual" which just never quite rung true with me or what I observed from other women. My personal take has always been most every time you see a female's body is in a purely sexual context. Meanwhile, male's bodies are more often presented in a neutral or comedic context, something not to take seriously. Or as something to admire when optimum physique is in question. So, I blamed my near automatic arousal to seeing a woman's body only on I've been conditioned to see it as inherently sexual. Not saying "tv turned me gay" as the joke goes, but would you consider that technically true given this context? (I am heterosexual, I never was sexually attracted to a woman before. But only just recently I realized I've never been sexually attracted to a man either, for I'm actually asexual... Problems in my relationship of 8 years make more sense now, but this is kinda besides the point of the original topic.)

[@jesssterling5915]

Several other studies look at promiscuity and factors of attraction across the animal kingdom, and it’s always the same. The sex that dedicates the highest biological investment in reproduction is almost always less promiscuous. There are several examples where males actually take on the less promiscuous, highly selective role because of their high reproductive investment. Socialization does play a role in humans, but the behavior is definitely innate (I have a PhD in biology and evolution)

[@Account.for.Comment]

@@jesssterling5915 I' m certain that 99.99% of sexual preferences are locked down since birth. Though, attractibility on other hand, seem more fluid somehow. Some transverstites are higly attractable to heterosexuals, until they revealed their biological sex, then repulsion started.

[@Knytz]

this makes me apreciate all the work tails did

[@SimpleandSound]

To update on Belle Delphine, after her adult scene everything dropped for her since she did a podcast admitting to having a boyfriend, all her male audience got upset and stopped funding her since she never spoke about having a boyfriend before.