Man I Met For A Date Now Won't Leave Me Alone, Even After A Police Report r/Relationships

[@an6786]

The way this creep kept insisting on going to the park, ground and his house in the basement, I honestly think that this creep either intended on killing OP or doing some other terrible things to her. Oh man, I am glad OP is safe and was smart enough to take all the precautions.

[@CalamityM]

Probably not killing her but he definitely had r@pe in mind.

[@jonathanheffernan110]

Ya I got a mad feeling that he would have hurt her alright. Crazy shit, some men are just dangerous... all of Ireland is raging at the moment because some young lady was attacked and murdered while out for a run, what's mad is it was daylight... some men are just so dangerous...

[@Sakuraqueen]

@@jonathanheffernan110 extremely dangerous! That's why when I go out I am very alert and have the loudest whistle on the planet in my pocket! Trust me, it's loud, it can wake the dead 😂 Also never put on my headphones at night to listen to music! We live in a very dangerous world!

[@naruto456431]

I got "rapist vibes" from the creep due to his relentless pushing to go to his place then to the park he will full on take advantage of someone I've been in this position before and have been taken advantage of in that situation now I recognise the red flag when a person push me that way

[@DarkJediPrincess]

NGL, I got _major_ “nascent serial killer” vibes off this guy while I was listening to this story. I _really_ hope I’m wrong though. Glad OP is safe and was smart about how she handled the whole thing.

[@hothotheat3000]

“Why are women soooooo defensive? Guys just wanna TALK TO YOUUUUUUUUUU!” This. Stories like this. This is what we are up against.

[@Konachn4ever]

@UCGDjMM2EZ6V0YChb5sfu2sg Yeah a nice person doesn't have to say they're nice they SHOW it through their actions and when someone says no they take that no because no is a full sentence and no is the only damn reason she needs~!😒

[@KiraNazena]

Exactly. Most women have been harassed/insulted/attacked simply for being a woman at some time in their lives. Society is still male-centered. I'm not a fan of this "all men are abusers" mentality of current social media, but unfortunately almost all women have been victims of gender-based attacks of some sort.

[@EclipseSeth]

"But I am not like THAAAAAAAT! Are you saying I am a killer?!" How are we suppose to differentiate when we have talked for like half an hour? Like, if you keep insisting, you are pushing me to believe that you certainly are, at the very least, a manchild.

[@lynnw7155]

Seriously, there are guys like that out there. I met one guy; he seemed nice enough, but creepy in that desperate sort of way. He didn't understand why I didn't want to see him again and got very insistent to know why. He left, but continued to email me asking what he did wrong. I tried all the polite answers, but he wouldn't accept them. I finally had to tell him that he was creeping me out and to go away. Luckily, he did.

[@KiraNazena]

@@lynnw7155 when I (f) was a student a loose friend (m student in my course) of mine was rather clingy, hugged me surprisingly etc. Weirded me out, but I'm rather socially inapt and didn't have much friends, so we hung out occasionally. Then he introduced himself as my boyfriend in my place of work at campus. Nope! Just nope.

[@theundone777]

I was so surprised to hear that the police were so accommodating and said that she did the right thing, until I realized that she lives in Canada. Police in the US are like " but did you die though?"

[@mkuti-childress3625]

LOL!

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

That is sad but really accurate, especially for my area.

[@Julienna]

Police in Europe - just like in US. You have evidence but up until you are not physically hurt or something, it is just for a record, and they will not do anything. AND. You will be laughed at and humiliated. Some victims were even told off by police man to pursue any other step. Just forget about it, ignore him...

[@ashh4929]

Yup! Well in my case the first time I had to talk to the cops, one of them I talked to actually freaking said "Well he probably just wanted to be close to you, it doesn't seem like he wants to hurt you." Cuz yeah, nothing screams romance like having a freaking man-child peaking in your windows in the middle of the night. I mean, how could I be so silly as to not see just how sweet and wonderfully Hallmark that is? Golly that's gonna go down in rom-com history! 🙄🖕(Hardcore sarcasm incase nobody caught that)

[@theundone777]

@@ashh4929 The irony is that police in the US will shoot somebody for turning around too fast because " they were fearful for their life". But a man looking in your window just wants to be close to you. You're clearly being paranoid. 🙄

[@Russman67]

The frightening thing is realizing that the guy very likely set his sights on another woman and directed all that energy into her. I only pray that he gets his shit together and realizes that is unacceptable.

[@KiraNazena]

Yep the police should have giving him a Stern talking to and telling him they have him on the record. That guy is dangerous

[@WhitneyDahlin]

I wonder WTF happened between the day they met and their first date. To me it just seems like he was following the terrible PickUp Artist advice. And then he got more and more desperate when it drove her further away. Of course I'm not saying that wouldn't be scary or his behavior isn't unacceptable but his behavior on the first date is basically everything those scam pick up artists tell you do. Mention s*x right away, get closer and closer, lots of eye contact, talk about all the other women you could be having instead of her to make her want you more, be persistent, don't take no for an answer, ect. I hope he's learned his lesson and isn't actually dangerous or anything.

[@geminidawn7315]

Asking if she wanted to take a walk in the field behind the coffee house sounded like the start of horror movie!

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Yeah, he almost sounded like he was trying to get her alone to assault her… or in his probable words, “join our souls together for all eternity!”

[@flossimoth]

@@mkuti-childress3625 I think that's exactly what he was trying to do. given his social obliviousness and his clear obsessive tendencies, my guess is that he had some plan or fantasy on how the date was going to go: he'd take her out to dinner, make conversation, take her home and sweep her off her feet with fantastic sex and she'd be enamoured with him. likely a plan formed from pick up artists or fictional stories. and when she said no to going home with him, it broke the plan and he floundered and probably latched on to 'having' to get her alone somehow, because if he just showed her what she was 'missing out on' she'd come around. I bet if he succeeded in getting her alone and tried, he definitely wouldn't stop when she said no, so determined to show her that he can do it. he wouldn't recognise that it's not going to work, because HE wants it to work and he's not willing to accept anything else. it's the kind of obliviousness that is more horrifying than pitiable, because it's borne out of selfishness rather than just ignorance. you can't teach them to know better, because they don't want to know better, they want the world to conform to what they believe

[@geminidawn7315]

@@mkuti-childress3625 Soul joining makes it sound like he wants her to join a cult.

[@savannahhague4989]

@@geminidawn7315 or worse, sacrifice her to Satan.

[@lauraanderson8785]

There actually was a true crime case where that happened. A Russian serial killer would lure people into taking walks with him into a park and he killed them. His kill count was over 30 at least

[@macylouwho1187]

If you’re even a halfway decent looking woman, this sh-t is common. I remember when I worked in the public for a short while that women were basically chased around and hounded for dates or outright propositioned for sex after work. They were sometimes touched inappropriately, had lewd comments directed at them, followed around and pestered, etc. I personally had a man say something crude about my breast size and then he reached out a hand to grab one. I swatted his hand away and walked away from him. I always wore my wedding and engagement rings so that it was apparent that I was married. That never stopped any of them. One lady in customer service had to get managers involved and have a guy who kept coming in to pester her (even though she was married and said so repeatedly) removed from the building. He was relentless to the point that it scared her, and her husband began taking her to and from work after that just to be safe. It’s sad that it comes to that for some women, but it does. And age has no bearing on it because that particular woman was around fifty years old and she was still getting sexually harassed.

[@ineedhoez]

Honestly... If being fat wouldn't kill me, I would go back to being 300lbs!!! I was invisible. It felt nice. Now, I feel like a limping gazelle on the African savanna.

[@Krystalthefoxlady]

Friend of mine was stalked by a creepy guy when she was at work. She's in her 20s and this guy was easily twice her age. He was asking management about her before she mentioned it to her assistant manager. That's when she learned that he was asking for her info. He started to go in the store more frequently until she finally left for an unrelated issue. She later found out that he was banned after he had an outrage from learning she was no longer there.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Ugh, everyone at every job needs to remember to never give out another employee’s information! I was terrified of my ex, and he seemed to be everywhere. I live in a city with millions of people, and he would leave me voice messages telling me he saw me on a date with someone, describing where we were and what I was wearing, and I just felt watched all the time. One morning, for example, when I was filling up my car, I locked my keys in the car. I was so frustrated, but I called the office to let them know what happened and called a locksmith. Less than ten minutes later, my ex pulled into the gas station asking if I needed help. I was very confused and uncomfortable and asked him what he was doing there (nowhere near his job or normal route). He said he had called my work, and they told him I had locked my keys in my car while getting gas. Why they had to be so specific was completely beyond me. So, he drove to the gas station nearest my place. I was so upset with my work for doing that, and the person who answered his call felt bad, but I guess he was charming and made it seem like we were back together. She had known about our breakup, so I couldn’t believe she told him. But he could be very convincing. A couple of years later, I walked into my office and saw that someone had sent me flowers. There was a card with a guy’s name and phone #. I didn’t know if it was related to work, or what, so I called him, confused. He said he had seen me out at Happy Hour a couple of days before. He never even met me. He heard my friends and I talking, so he got my first name just by listening in. I asked him then how on earth he knew where I worked. He said he just heard some things in our conversation that gave him enough information to narrow it down. He called the office and asked if someone with my first name worked there, and they said that I did. I was a little less mad about that time, because that call could have been work related, but it just made me feel weird. Both times I was just confused, then more and more freaked out as I thought of it. I realized just how easy it is for someone to find you.

[@itazuranakisu]

This is a prime example that it’s okay to say no even if it “hurts” someone’s feelings. Being nice can get you killed. Just because someone looks nice or because they scare you doesn’t mean you let them lead the way. Good on OP for listening to her gut. And hopefully if her name is common he won’t have a chance in finding her but it’s very likely this creeper has a new victim. Hopefully he can get locked up or get his crap together before he does something really bad.

[@brigidtheirish]

I watch a *lot* of crime documentaries and it continues to amaze me how much women are willing to put up with before calling the cops or even *stop responding* to the creep. I got *serious* 'potential stalker' vibes from a guy who didn't do even a *quarter* of what this guy did and simply blocked his number. Never heard from him again even though he had my address. Don't know why OP's phone would keep telling her that a blocked number tried to contact her, either. Isn't the point of blocking a number so you *aren't bothered by it again?* And what the *HELL,* Canada? It's *illegal* to carry *MACE?* You want to protect people from being able to protect themselves with guns, fine, but *MACE?* Do you *want* women to be molested?

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@brigidtheirish It's actually illegal to carry Mace in the US as well. Mace was actually a brand name for tear gas in a small cannister. It can cause serious damage, especially since over time it degrades and becomes more and more acid until eventually it can permanently blind someone if it gets into their eyes and even burn and blister skin, much like sulphuric acid (what used to be called "oil of vitriol." That led the legislatures in the US to ban its sale or possession in the US. While most LEO's and people of sense figure that's just what an attacker would deserve, it can also be sprayed by accident and could permanently blind a child or other innocent party. Now that company manufactures and sells pepper spray, which is not as effective, tbh, but a whole lot safer if someone gets sprayed by accident. Pepper spray is legal in most, if not all, the states in the US. There are a lot of companies and brands of pepper spray. I carry a small canister on my key ring myself, just in case. It's unfortunate that Canada has banned even pepper spray for ordinary citizens.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@bunnyslippers191 Any country that bans weapons for its citizens are a joke.

[@KiraNazena]

Saying no to an unhinged male is far more likely to get you killed... It's not the woman's fault for being "to nice", the abusers are the problem and they will always find a reasoning.

[@KiraNazena]

@@magnarcreed3801 did it occur to you that in a country that allows guns the criminals have guns too and are way more experienced? And will attack you first way before you can get or grab your own gun?

[@mindyschocolate]

This is why I’m happily single and have absolutely no interest in dating. What a nightmare this boy is. People, if your date isn’t interested in you, don’t harass them or try to change their mind.

[@natnuss98]

You can also just be a happy single for no reason. But yes he's a date from hell.

[@hyperplaguerat]

This stalker story had me shook... The lack of self awareness of these people is seriously scary. I had a friend once that I dated on and off that had issues with boundaries that included some stalker behavior. I didn't realize it was that bad until my therapist got concerned they were stalking me. They acted super hurt when I pushed them off of me once. Talking to them doesn't work. They're so focused on their own emotions. I tried talking to this person but they fell back on excuses about how that's "just how they show affection" and how they're so hurt when people don't want to be touched or hugged. That's when I knew it was time to walk away. This guy that stalked OP has similar behaviors. Ignores boundaries and focuses on his own hurt feelings when people assert boundaries

[@ravenfox926]

An old friend worked at a college and was stalked by one of the professors. She managed to get rid of him by doing the following: her friend saw him coming up behind her and she suddenly had an idea. So as he approached, she put her hand inside her pants, acted like she was shifting something and said to herfriend, 'Man, my balls itch today!' This had the desired effect: Professor Creep did an abrupt about face and left, never to bother her again. Moral: most of these guys don't want to risk their prey having bigger balls than them.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I literally nearly choked when he asked if it was a bad move to call 80X in a night. _SIR!_

[@KE-hr4sb]

That was absolutely terrifying. I'm glad OP is OK, and I hope she stays that way. I had a stalker from an online video game I used to play. I quit the game and bounced around to other games for a while. Five years later, I ran across him on a completely different video game (the universe must hate me; what are the odds? Same game, same faction, same servers both times?) He had the same character name, and when I heard his voice over coms, my husband said my face went white. Luckily, I never spoke, and had changed my character name, so he never realized it was me.

[@yandereskitty]

Had a date like that. It was creepy and intense. Girls. Stick to your guns. If they are persistent, it's not cute. It's creepy. Shit like this is why people stay single.

[@Becks-and-books]

Writing this while listening to the story: I went on one date with a guy and yeah... he stalked me. I was 25 he was 31, and we hit it off pretty well at first. There were a few warning signs, but it was easy to just be misunderstandings because it was so early on. We messed around a bit after our first date, but then we kept talking and it seemed alright. Then one day he's a bit off while we're talking, and says he wants to confess something but doesn't know if he should. I hate those kinds of games and if you say you want to tell me something you either do or we can pick the conversation back up when you're ready to talk about it. He confesses that he was recently released from jail. This of course is a concern, because I don't know why he was in jail. Statutory r-p- when he was 25 himself. YIKES no. I don't know how to react, emotionally distance myself from the conversation and tell him that because I experienced a r-p- myself 6 years prior this made me very uncomfortable. For some reason he gets out of me how it happened, and he tells me he wants to re-enact it. I tell him that is not okay, and immediately stop talking to him. I would've broken it off regardless, but that was an immediate no. He texts me a lot the following days asking what he did wrong etc. (???) and after a few days of this I send one message more to him telling him he should know what he did. Luckily he takes the hint when I remove him as a friend on facebook. HOWEVER. A little while later someone follows me on instagram. I have terrible memory for names and faces, and I was back at uni. I assumed he was from one of my uni classes. He wasn't using his own name, but another name. This user gives me the creeps regardless, though, as he keeps replying to stories, asking where abouts I lived, and other invasive questions. My philosophy is that you either know or you don't know those things, only people who need to know from a professional standpoint need to ask where I live etc. I ignore this person. After several years of this (ridiculous really) and after I post a photo where I'm in a sports-bra and leggings he decides it's the time to reveal who he is. At this point I'm trying to figure out who this man is because he has an interest in me and I have no clue who he is. It has happened before because as a person who is very aloof some people are drawn to that thinking it's "mysterious" or smth and getting my attention is like a win (I've had people say this, when in reality I'm just socially inept), and when he started messaging me after posting that photo I figured it was time to get to the bottom of it and actually respond to him. Well, I figured it out. It wasn't the harassment the woman in the story endured, but it felt horrible. This was a man who triggered me so badly I was a mess for months after our date, who completely went against my clear message of not wanting him in my life, used a different name to follow me, try to figure out where I lived etc. and like catfish me or smth FOR YEARS. It was so violating and I was barely able to function for days after this. Imagine someone knowing your trauma, thinking it sounds like a "fun" thing to do, and then getting access to me by concealing who he was. I can't properly explain the violation, but he had one date with me. ONE. I can only say that I know the feeling of the boundary not being respected, and having someone keep trying to get into your life through stalking etc. and how horrible that is. Adding that with that this OP had to experience harassment with it... I wish her all healing energy

[@natnuss98]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[@itjustmemanning8441]

I hope you're doing better 💓 now.

[@mkuti-childress3625]

You’re right that it wasn’t the harassment the person in the story endured. It was much worse! I can’t imagine how you felt. Well-I can, partly. As someone who also was assaulted, then who ran into the exact same kind of person later, I know I would have been absolutely terrified. Then later I would have been terrified of my own judgment. I actually stopped dating for a couple of years, but there is something about those kinds of guys-they can sense people who are vulnerable, somehow, and they find them. Part of the problem is that, after an assault, your brain has focused on avoiding everything that reminds you of it to the point that you can subconsciously start to believe that, if you just avoid anyone like the first guy, you’ll be fine. That’s what happened to me, anyway. I do know that people who have been assaulted are way more likely to have it happen again than the average person. I think it’s because it can throw off our instincts so much, but I also think some of those guys must have some kind of sixth sense about who to target. My experiences happened before social media was such a big thing, so I never had to deal with cyberstalking or catfishing, but I am sure that just adds a whole other level of vulnerability and feeling violated-especially when it happens over such a long period of time. I hope things are now much better for you now and that he is completely gone from your life. All the best to you.

[@ineedhoez]

You played yourself with that one. Never disclose your trauma to someone. Let alone a man. Especially a man you haven't known for a long time.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

what sent my alarm bells off was him asking to go places that were suspiciously isolated. The basement, the park, behind the coffee shop? What the fuck my guy?! Also if you know what you're doing, you can do a lot with just a phone number. I'm surprised he didn't hire a PI "So hey I met a girl I really like but I don't know where she lives, or what her full name is, could you find her for me?" Would a PI really take this case?

[@SethUnwell]

This reminds me of a dude that wanted me to go back to his house play smash bros with him, by myself, and claimed that I shouldn't be weary because his religion doesn't allow "baby making" before marriage. I nopped outta there faster than a lightning bolt.

[@eevee9272]

Ironically my old roommate had her ex bf turn into a major stalker. He went into our dorm room when no one was around the leave a message about how much he loved her. Then the campus police got involved. It was a crazy time where there was obviously signs that he was following her.

[@brachiosaurus6350]

I’ve been through something similar to this. I will NEVER give my number to a random guy who asks for it I’ll always start with another social first to make sure the person is sane. You can get way too much info from a number.

[@Donald43]

The guy seems clueless enough to not take a hint, so I'd be really concerned about other potential victims down the line.

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

That first story is just… rough. I’m a trans guy and even 6 years after transitioning, I still feel the effects of having experienced the world from a woman’s perspective. The thing that has stuck to me most is the knowledge and resulting fear that you are always at risk of being harassed or attacked.

[@44naya]

I've lived something similar. Everyone who is going through this, remember : This is NOT your fault. It's theirs (the stalkers). And they do NOT have the right to make you feel scared and paranoid. Talk to your friends and family, talk to the police, go get a restraining order. You're not alone in this.

[@heididietrich9800]

If someone called me "Well endowed", I'd have a HUGE problem with that. That is just gross.

[@natnuss98]

Thank you for reading us another relationship story with an update. This one has a title that already scares me so much

[@Ars-Nova258]

“Let’s take a walk together! The three of us! You, me, and the crowbar!”

[@ComaLies225]

To be honest, this is why I'm so vague about my life when I meet new people now. I usually tell people I work at my old job or just keep it simple (I.e. I work an office, store, etc.) because often times a person can find out a lot about you if they're truly interested. I also had a somewhat similar situation but it wasn't this terrifying. I met someone at the bus stop on my way to a doctors appointment. Yea I know it wasn't smart. We talked a bit and then exchanged numbers. The conversation was okay but then he asked for a date. I politely declined as I wasn't looking to date. He told me he really liked me and he "really wants me after we had our conversation." I want to note, we talked in the bus for like 20 minutes as we were riding towards our destination, it wasn't a deep conversation as we mainly talked about music and life and hobbies. I was a bit creeped out and said no, not interested. H e didn't respond, then a few days later tried to talk to me again but I didn't respond. He tried again the next day and I still didn't respond. He ended up finding my instagram after I only gave him my name and number (my number is not listed or connected to my instagram account.) I didn't respond to his request. He's left me alone but I still shudder at the thought of him getting so invested over a 20 minute conversation about mostly nothing

[@kristinwiebold2433]

MARK, this story is why you do not meet random strangers!!! They crazies and dangerous!!! Glad to hear OP is safe

[@swiftninja91]

Man, stalkers are so frigging scary. One of the best advice I heard was do NOT reply to their messages. Even ones telling them to go away will feed their desperate need to keep in contact with you. They will twist the message into a positive and keep trying. Love bombing is a major red flag as well. Keep your wits about you, guys.

[@vernell2601]

That’s terrifying!! This is a good PAS Mark!

[@Slipdreality]

The Gift of Fear is a great book, I had to read it for a psychology class and I'm exceptionally glad I did. I highly recommend reading it.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Let's just hope OP never runs into this guy in town. No telling what level his obsession can reach. Glad she reported it, but the fact that some big RCMPs or Officers didn't go visit (once she had his address and gave it to them) and put the fear of god into him is sad. They best keep that file right in front in the suspect drawer, because sooner or later they are going to need it.

[@brigidtheirish]

Wow. I would've left not even halfway through that date. It was just one field of red flags after another! The guy I was worried might start stalking me wasn't *half* this creepy. Another major mistake she made was continuing to respond to his texts and calls. That just feeds the stalker. Seriously, she should have blocked his number after the first few calls if not straight after that disaster of a date. Then again, I may have a lower 'creep' threshold since I watch a lot of crime documentaries and grew up afraid to answer the phone because of all the weird prank calls I got. Especially that string on one of the rare occasions I was home alone. *How did they know I was home alone?!*

[@mkuti-childress3625]

This happened before cell phones, but one semester, my roommate and I were getting both obscene and prank calls quite a lot: Then one night we saw the shadow of a man looking into our bedroom windows. We saw him a couple more times, but who knew how many times we didn’t know. Even worse (weirdly) was one night when we walked to a restaurant nearby and when we came back, saw a man’s footprints in the snow, leading right up to my bedroom window at the best place to look in. I had left my bedroom light on while we were gone, so I guess he thought I was home. The footsteps just led from the street to my window, then back to street again. I don’t know why his footprints were even creepier to me than actually seeing him out there. Anyway, we did talk to the police, but we never figured out if all of the calls were coming from the same guy, or if he knew we were home because he was watching us. One of my students the semester before had asked me out (I just told him that TAs can’t date their students), but was getting more and more aggressive about it afterwards, when he was no longer my student. I found out later that he had date-raped several students, including another student who had taken my class. We never found out if any or all of those things were related, which was really frustrating. I just remember being scared all the time and feeling like creeps were everywhere. It was a bad semester.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Protip: have a Google voice number. There are crazy people in the world like this weirdo and with your real number they can find out a lot about you

[@jinxgiz3104]

Remember everyone, just because mace/pepper spray is illegal where you live, aerosol deodorants and fly spray are perfectly legal.

[@marinmuffins7873]

Hope you're having a great day, Mark! I'm working on art commissions right now so I'm glad you posted this, now I can listen to you while I work!

[@diddykitty746]

I have finished the maze portion of my Minecraft map. Now I need to map out the other two floors before I continue. That will be fun

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! How are you doing tonight? I hope all is well and I wish you a great night!! Relationships and AITA are my favorite subreddits, even though I don't even visit them on Reddit XD

[@Mkay999]

Story 1: the most insane part of it is that SHE DIDNT BLOCK HIM RIGHT AWAY like why did you turn off your phone vs block his number omg

[@Mkay999]

Na. When you realize someone’s a little coco block immediately. Don’t engage at all. When she began that process, he relented, but engaging made him feel like she would communicate further. It’s best practice for crazies.

[@NoodleDergsGoBrrr]

I can understand that this should have been the first reaction. But I can imagine people might have had second doubts in their judgements, and they might not be their first reaction

[@philwill0123]

@Melody Ackerman think she means before. Most people would have blocked before how many calls. Indeed most would have blocked after receiving those calls immediately after coffee shop meet asking to come over.

[@Mkay999]

Yes exactly, after the coffee shop weird interaction and still asking to come over u get a block. Then when her phone kept going off to any point of annoyance block. Ever heard you can’t reason with crazy

[@NoodleDergsGoBrrr]

@@Mkay999 I never was consending? I was just offering why she might have reacted that way. I know that second part but I wouldn't blame the person for not realizing that at first.

[@tamsinmoore2111]

That was terrifying to read. 'He only has my number' isn't that calming as, have you ever watched an episode of 'Catfish'? They can do/learn a lot about someone from even a nickname and a phone number. I wish the cops were more there for OP, a visit could ... dampen/feed the obsessional flames. What a horrendous state to be in. Blessings and safety wishes to OP. What a story. She's probably not his first and, unfortunately, not his last. Surely all the calls/texts should be seen as threatening.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Ugh, this brought back memories to a guy I dated once when I was 18 or 19. Came up to me when I was out in town and asked for my number and my insecure ass thought it was flattering and grew up hearing "just give people a chance!" so gave him my number. First red flag, I texted him to confirm when I was available for a date and he called me. I texted him to say I couldn't answer the phone and he just kept calling so I put my phone on silent. We had settled on meeting and going to a coffee shop but once we met (him wearing a stained white shirt, pink shorts, and with eyes red that my naive ass only realized was because he was high in retrospect) he insisted coffee shops weren't "his thing". So we walked to a nearby park where he kept commenting on how I shouldn't wear makeup because I was pretty without it (how would he know, he had never seen me without makeup), complained about a group of children at the park because he wanted privacy (I literally recall saying "we're in a public park, what do you expect?), talking about a new hand lotion he'd started using and grabbing my hands and insisting I feel them, and then consistently trying to kiss me even though I expressed my discomfort. When he got fed up from sitting at the park he insisted we go back to the town boulevard and get something (probably because of the munchies from how high he was) and the whole time he kept grabbing my butt even though I insisted he stop. I eventually relied on my bus schedule and told him I wanted to catch my next bus back home before they stopped for the day. First and worst date of my life. He called me incessantly for days and when he asked if I wanted to meet up again, I flat-out told him no. He demanded to know why and I told him how disrespected I felt. He insisted he wasn't "himself" (probably because he was high as a kite. I know I keep shitting on the fact he was high and, like, I'm not anti-Marijuana or anything, but it doesn't make for a good first impression) and wanted a second chance. I told him that he wasn't getting one and blocked his number. He started calling me from private numbers and I started having my friends answer the phone whenever I saw an unknown number or just not answering if I was alone. I had people telling me to go to the police but I knew that a phone number and a first name weren't enough to do anything. Thankfully I hadn't given him my Facebook when he asked for it and he also only had my first name, so he wasn't finding me anytime soon. After a few weeks the phone calls became less frequent until they were only a couple times a month and then only once every few months. They'd stopped completely within a year and I still haven't changed my phone number to this day. But I lived in a village near a tiny town at the time and would go into town a lot because my stepmother gave me crap for spending all day in the house while I was taking extra high school credit courses to improve my chances to get into a good university and looking for work. So I'd go into town a lot and just walk aimlessly around town. I remember the first time I saw him again, like more than a year later, and he asked me where X street was. I was just like, "We're on X street," and walked past him. I remember pulling out my phone and using the selfie cam as a mirror and saw him following me. I was thankfully a regular at a nearby restaurant and even though they weren't open for another ten minutes, when I popped in and they saw how stressed I seemed they let me in. We watched through the blinds as he turned the corner (the restaurant was on a street corner, so I went in quickly after turning the corner and he didn't see me), looked around in confusion and frustration before turning back the way he came. He ran into me again and unfortunately it was in the main boulevard, so it was hard to push past people to get away. I don't think he recognized me because he gave me a distinctly different name. I lied and said I was a minor and then he gave me a much younger age than he had the first time we met too. So when he asked for my number I explained that my parents didn't let me date. I had been walking in the direction of a nearby bus stop and just hopped on the next bus I saw, rode it for a few stops and then hopped back off. The last time I saw him he, again, didn't seem to recognize me. I was waiting for my bus home and when he started talking to me I answered in English. He balked and struggled to talk to me (English is taught in schools here, but the further you are from the big cities, the less likely someone is to speak it) and just walked away and I laughed to myself, wondering why I hadn't thought to do that before. Nearly a decade later, looking back on the whole situation, FUCK was I lucky it didn't get any worse than it did.

[@thecookinestkid401]

YES, the Gift of Fear! Great idea and a great book!

[@CrochetDelight]

I love listening to your reddits while I crochet, game or spin yarn. You're channel is my favorite

[@rachelpowell2947]

YES!! Everyone needs to read "The GIft of Fear" By Gavin DeBecker! And he has another amazing book for parents called "Protecting the Gift". Both AMAZING, life-changing books!!

[@Mewse1203]

That is really scary...

[@lifewithlee6298]

The walking in on two woman as a conversation starter sounds like something Barney from how I met your mother

[@___o1799]

NO. ITS NOT GOOD FOR OP TO KEEP THEIR NUMBER. There are tons of *free* platforms that do searches of public records with nothing but a phone number or a license plate. I've used some of these sites to find out more about some of my friends' shadier partners and I've gotten names, family members, criminal records, etc. If OP wants to be done with this, they need to change their number ASAP.

[@D123-f9k]

Hearing about someone going through this and she can't even legally carry mace is a sad and strange thing for someone living in a place where anyone who can legally own a gun can carry it without a permit. I'm glad she safely got through it. SSDGM everyone.

[@sarahloveless1726]

I love how these guys are so close to being self aware but then crash into crazy town

[@AndyyWithAY]

After I found out he was 22 I would've been done. That's an enormous age gap.

[@TheArnaa]

Whoa! Only five minutes in and this is getting really scary. Could have ended so badly if OP hadn’t taken the precautions she did by meeting him in public. 😳 ETA Last update: holy crap, he wanted to take her into his basement! OP dodged a nuclear strike with this one.

[@madisonl3401]

Wow what a freaking creep! This is why I want a CCW permit. Women need to be safe out there with men like this out there.

[@Tyler171819]

“You don’t feel like you know me well enough to go home with me? That’s ok….we can just GO TO THAT OPEN FIELD BEHIND THE BUILDING.” *inset pipe organ music and a lone wolf howl*

[@Reddazes]

Gift of Fear is 💯💯💯 an amazing book and I highly recommend everyone read it even if they aren't going through these kind of situations.

[@Love2Banime]

All sorts of creepy. If someone won't take no for an answer, leave immediately.

[@renatatarnawski5974]

I LOVED IT WHEN AT 11:11 or so U Wrote SURPRISE with that Shocked Face! I Almost spat iced Tea out of my nose!! Holy Crap I haven't giggled like this 4 awhile!!!

[@Marion-sb9gs]

Poor OP, what an ordeal 😱 glad she kept her head and got away from him .

[@nickwilliams8302]

The most effective self-defence tactics are not techniques of violence. Rather, they are tactics and strategies designed to prevent you being chosen as a victim of crime. And that's why stalkers are so goddamn dangerous. They're after _you_ already.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark. Stay safe please. PEACE

[@Whatsername4224]

I don't ever understand why people take so long to block. I would have blocked him before leaving the parking lot.

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day.

[@oceanpuddle6439]

I kinda went through a smaller, but similar, situation with my ex. He was persistently calling and text me after HE broke up me. Then after a civil meet up to exchange personal items he continued to call and text. He finally texted “That’s how is it now? I don’t have your attention anymore just ghost me and can’t say anything?”

[@joskubl6017]

Wow OP I had something similar, however he turned up at my front door early one morning. I moved cities after that. As I had 3 kids to think about. Also lodged a few complaints to, law, caregivers and institution I was studying at. We think that's where he got my address. Yes, he is IHC (intellectually handicapped), was young enough to be my son. Would not leave me alone. So was easier to move, blocked completely on all social media and don't actually use my name on such either. After so many years, I am still cautious, as my name is not common, nor is his. Be safe OP. We can't carry mace in my country either, however we can carry seasonings...... chilli 😉 just think on the spice rack, there is always a way

[@ravenfox926]

Been stalked twice (maybe three times?) in my life. One happened in high school - I was 17. I didn't even know he was stalking me until he got caught by two of my football player friends. The other guy was a scary stalker type - called constantly, was outside my work, my home and popped up all over the place. It took my dad pointing a gun in his face when he caught him looking in my window to get rid of him. I was 19.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

10:59 I know this is not in any way a funny story but Marks comment about the window and yelling surprise just made me d I e laughing xD

[@Fete_Fatale]

Right from the first, when she left the coffee date, and he was being weird about ... well, everything. All I was thinking was ... 'he just saw you drive off, in your car, with your numberplate ... that he now knows.' Thankfully, it doesn't seem that he was awake enough to snap that. If this guy ever has (or had) a girlfriend the police would be looking for a body.

[@browniewin4121]

OP, so sorry, this is creepy and scary. He is insane. It is definitely harassment. I'm glad you are documenting all his contact and turning it over to the police. After update: How exhausting to have to deal with this and to have to be scared and worried and have to get security. It is awful, but I think it's good you kept the number and now know who he is and what he is up to, and to be able to document and pass this along to the police. Please do be cautious. After final update: I'm glad you got his address for the police and then changed your phone so you can live with more peace. So sorry this ever happened to you. Best wishes OP, you did everything right. I'm glad you never went with him, hadn't given him specific info., documented and contacted police, and never ever spoke to him again. Block him from all social media.

[@emilybarclay8831]

The sheer insanity it takes to call someone for hours on end. Terrifying. That’s someone who will not give up, and I can’t imagine anything scarier than someone who refuses to back down after meeting someone once

[@CensorshipVictim]

One way I found to get around the Mace restrictions (you have to have a concealed and carry permit in my state (USA)). I bought bear mace, yes BEAR MACE, from my local hunting/camping store. I used it when someone tried to carjack me one night. Very effective

[@Lillypop93]

The best timing today 😁

[@KinguKirai]

Haven't been this early in MONTHS

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1 Talked about himself nonstop Ask inappropriate questions Demeanor completely changes from the first meeting to the actual date Will not allow his date to talk despite the fact he kept hammering questions Talked shit about women in his life Doesn’t understand that no is a complete sentence…. Feels entitled for a woman to do what he wants….. Yeah typical entitled pest The believes his behavior is “being dominant/alpha to win the ladies“ 🤣 For anyone that saying “Opie should’ve just talk to him so he gets the message“ NO! NO! NO! NO! Talking to him is just going to encourage him to keep at it and even escalate what he’s doing. Talking to a stalker just validates what they’re doing and they will try take it a step further to get what they want/feel entitled to.

[@josephmbimbi]

- "What did i do wrong ?" - "you're giving serial killer vibes"

[@lesleyboulant4053]

11:10 Oh my God, I started laughing And almost Peed myself

[@FriedaMMartin]

Time to get spicy!

[@RandomTrinidadian]

And that is why you NEVER agree to meet someone who is 10+ years your Junior. Just glad OP was not hurt by that creep. The dude sounds like he wears a Fadora and is a "really nice guy"

[@Regrettable-Username]

The Gift of Fear is a fantastic book. It's one of my favorites and I recommend it to everyone I know.

[@chrisa.k.1531]

It’s criminal harassment In Canada you can have them arrested There’s a maximum 10 year sentence

[@AruoraOkami]

The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker is an amazing book. It was a mandatory read in one of my university classes and I really wish I knew of it earlier. It made me realize that a lot of the men I have met in my life, stranger, friend, customer, were in fact potentially dangerous (and for three of them, they did become dangerous) from the start but I didn't really know why so I kind of ignored it (and for one of them, my parents encouraged it thinking he was just overly friendly, etc) until it was almost too late. After reading GoF, I realized that it was okay to be a "bitch" (and unfortunately society still enforces if girls say no or stand up for themselves, they are horrible bitches/stuck up snobs) in saying no and standing my ground, even when I cannot explain that terrible feeling that makes my skin crawl. Society growing up doesn't protect women at all, like many others, I was taught to be nice to everyone and let people down easy as to not hurt anyone feelings and if a guy is relentlessly pursing you, it's a compliment and you owe him. This shit ideology makes it so easy for us women to become victims.

[@flamelily2086]

This guy is unhinged. How can he seriously ask if calling her 80 times in one night is too much? The fact that he has to ask that question shows how unhinged he is. Obviously no one has taught him that sometimes you have to take no for an answer. He is clearly not going to give up his attempts to get OP to meet him. Just because he hasn't made threats towards OP doesn't mean that he won't escalate to violence eventually. The police don't take stalking seriously. Just because he didn't have her address or knew where she worked doesn't mean that he can't hang around hoping to see OP and then follow her home. Women have suddenly disappeared with out trace and later their bodies are found in some isolated place.

[@troywilcox]

First story always a app where you use a random phone number so if this stuff happens you can delete it and they never have your real number

[@D-D-Gaming]

"Owe". She owed him NOTHING. Gawd I hate men like that.

[@impagain]

I really wish this was a rare occurrence. And I really wish I could say I've never experienced stuff similar to this. Nowhere near as bad, but still terrible

[@melissareid640]

How would you know he was going to be crazy until you met him. But I trust no one and would rather be alone than trust some one new. People are just not stable and entitled to your time and information. Ewww!

[@katwiltz1134]

You're my hero you did everything right it kept you safe❤

[@masnakajima]

I had some encounters with obsessive guys... worst part is that they were not even dates! One was a guy I happened to meet at the lift of a building were a student of mine lived when I worked as a teacher at a language school, he said he was interested on classes so I gave him my number. WRONG MOVE! He would text/call me non-stop (about 20-30 times for 2 weeks) and the first (and only) time I answered I told him I was on the opposite side of the city he offered to come pick me up and just drop it when I told him I had a class and students waiting. Every single suggestion of his included me getting into his car, and if I suggested meeting at the coffeeshop on the same block where he said he lived (the apartment complex we met) he would be like: "But there's nowhere to park my car". I silenced him, I bet what he wanted from me were no classes at all. Then there was a guy on my neighborhood... I had a dog and walked him everyday. Everybody knew Gringo because he was large, but friendly with everyone, so it was not rare at all for me to have small talk with people during our walks. One day a friend of mine who worked nearby told me that this dude was telling everyone that he was dating me, when I told her that was not the case, I'm just friendly when I happen to meet him while walking the dog, she told me he did that to other woman before, and his adult kids had to keep an eye on him because he would skip antidepressants whenever he finds a love interest because apparently those meds drop the libido. I told her I was going to make it clear to him that I didn't want anything to do with him and she said she felt sorry for him (WTF?!) So, next day I'm walking my dog and the dude find us and asks to accompany us... I said "Well, the streets are public" so he came along and for everything he says (marriage, kids, good Christian family values, kids over pets) I would tell him I was/wanted the opposite (single and childfree, Atheist, not exchanging my pets over humans, looking for transferring for a city with more job opportunities). But of course, I was wrong and had to change my way because he was "feeling pretty religious". He said he needed to catch his breath and asked me to walk in a slower pace, I just told my dog: "GRINGO, RUN!" and the oblivious happy pooch obliged. We got home and since the walk was cut short I figured we could play on the front yard but freaking 10 minutes latter the dude is by my fence asking to continue our "conversation". I told him to go away before I called the cops and lock the pooch and myself in. Next day I went to the nearby police station to report what happened and ask for advice. They told me unfortunately this type of occurrence is not uncommon, but since he didn't threaten me nor trespass they couldn't do much, but I could tell the creepy guy next time he tries to contact me he has to explain himself to them (the police). A few hours latter, who did I find while walking my dog? Guy tries to apologize, but I repeat the cops message to him loud enough for the people around us hear. Luckily, I never saw him ever again.

[@katiesmith2031]

Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful evening goodnight and sweet dreams

[@TNTMAN360]

Either mark deleted my comment or it was flagged as spam

[@katiesmith2031]

@@TNTMAN360 most likely flagged as spam he wouldn't of deleted it

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Sleep well m8 much love 💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

@@TNTMAN360 what was the comment?

[@TNTMAN360]

@@katiesmith2031 I commented again if you don't see it it's probably flagged to spam again

[@4Just1Girl]

I don't know how anyone else would take this, But from the moment OP heard that Creepazoid man say "How Beautiful...." AND WELL ENDOWED" she was, THAT WOULD BE WHERE I WOULD ASAP TRY TO FILE A REPORT FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER!! That remark, is Singularly a "TRIGGER" phrase that OP should SHUT THAT GUY DOWN PRONTO!! Telling the police this creepy, Psychotic, Dude is talking to her sending messages that CLEARLY indicates that he ONLY sees her as a BODY only and a THING for Him to Obtain to do with whatever and However HE wants!! That is a set up sentence for a possible psychopathic serial RAPIST! And She needs to tell that to the police like LAST WEEK!!!

[@WabbitHunter68]

He sounds like a narcissist. Talking solely about himself, attempting to love bomb her and guilt tripping when he couldn't get his way. She should be careful. Narcissists hate being turned down and can be very vengeful.

[@fytrndm]

Yes dude, it *is* a bad move to call 80 times a night. The heck? I get feeling the connection and wanting to keep on going but that means sending texts to say hi, you had a great time and hope you can meet again soon the next day after the date, *_not_* leaving *eighty* messages!

[@jengibs]

I remember meeting a guy from a dating app at a local Starbucks. He was so creepy that alarm bells were going off in my head the entire time. He kept trying to convince me to come get in his car and we could go somewhere together, but everything in my brain screamed at me that this guy had no intention of bringing me back to my car after. I made up excuses to leave by myself and made sure he didn't follow me. I circled the area several times to make sure I wasn't followed by anybody. Then I drove back home. I kept checking my rearview mirror to make sure. I wasn't about to lead this guy to where I lived. It was a terrifying experience. I've never met anyone that wasn't in a very, very, very public place with lots of people and security cameras for that very reason. It's dangerous being a woman in the dating world.

[@Josku2411]

Oop a tad late but eh got carried away trying to find a text thing from the witcher books but i cannot find it for the life of meXD

[@beingWantable]

The sad thing is, is that the police can't and won't do anything until the guy actually physically harasses her or threathens to kill her clearly... I hope he's just troubled and not planning to do something bad...

[@Olivia-ek9ib]

Pro tip because the OP said Canadians aren’t allowed to legally carry mace and I know some US states are the same: HAIRSPRAY. Get a can of hairspray to keep in your house, and find mini cans to put in your purse. It hurts like hell to be sprayed in the eyes by it, and it isn’t illegal to carry.

[@carolsh1983]

Yuck. I remember a guy from a dating site who was absolutely furious when I wanted to meet somewhere public and not at his place for a first date. We had not even talked that much. He had been pleasant until then. I blocked him fast and had not told him anything about myself because I was always paranoid but if he had been even a little smarter and more measured I shudder to think what could have happened. Actually, that’s the case with several dating site guys. I’m So fortunate that I only ran into the ones who were incapable of hiding their true selves.

[@iamacarrotgrowinginthewood1077]

Listening to the description of the date and the guy's behavior had me have flashbacks to the very first date I actually went on... Dude was also younger than me and did not know about boundaries, considering how he groped my boob and went for my crotch right after when I pushed his hand off. And when I wanted to go home, he also didn't want to let me go, always saying to come over to his place to watch movies together. Apparently, no is not a word he understands. Eventually, I managed walk to the train station all the while being pestered by him to go to his place. He wouldn't even let me get on the train without a goodbye kiss. Luckily, he did not keep on harrassing me with texts and phone calls like in the reddit story, but he had the audacity to ask me via text whether I am angry at him when I did not write him back. Now, I see that I was lucky that the guy wasn't that unhinged...

[@elizabethescalante7866]

"Well endowed woman."?! What the hell?! Was that his creepy pervy way of saying "I like your body"?!

[@oriana7193]

-After hearing and listening to everything Takes a deep breath- "Holy beep... Beep." Or the quote Ned Flanders great googly moogly. Honestly if this would have been me right when the whole conversation would have been going mostly after that question about anything about sex on the first date I would have walked out because to me that's the biggest red flag of them all. I would have definitely drawn attention to us in a crowd place and try calling him a creep and have everyone else look at our directions so that way they can watch if he tries anything. And the fact that she's in Canada and can't carry mace is reasons why this should be allowed situations like this. Canada grow a spine allow people to defend themselves with non-lethal options. Mace is a non-lethal category. Unless they have an allergy then oh well it's better for the person who's being attacked to be safer then worrying about the person who's attacking health. And all I can say is she did everything right although honestly after a certain point I would have just gotten a different phone and a number along with a very big dog or at least moved in with family members safety in numbers category. But yeah honestly she did everything right so take notes to anyone else who may be going through something just as creepy or what to do when you come across something creepy and I say something because those type of people aren't people who do this kind of stuff. But yeah lots of best wishes and hopes that this poor woman is finally having a more restful time although I would be moving out of that town ASAP to listen the chances of meeting him I would say come to the US at least then you can carry a mace and some other safety items.

[@red_goddess2145]

dang, bro-ham is a big ol' bag of "hell nah".

[@SheenaReine]

If OP is here Bear mace or dog mace! I’m in Canada, you can get them at Canadian tire.

[@RosesTeaAndASD]

Dangerous people look totally normal unless you're watching for any red flags.

[@theresatrahan6282]

WOW.....talk about a scary dude!!