My Husband Frustrates Me With His Wake-Up Routine And Refuses To Change - AITA Relationship Reddit

[@notevenlistening6072]

As a vegetarian, I think that the OP should feed his vegan roommate to the cat.

[@wolfsbane9639]

As a fellow vegetarian, I wholeheartedly agree with this statement.

[@AnymousScreams]

As a pescetarian, I find this feasible. Who buys a cat off something like Craigslist? The cat might end up being OP's.

[@jgw5491]

@@AnymousScreams We can only hope. 😿

[@Twilight24682]

As a vegan I agree with this comment well said

[@SyadeHaan]

Haven't watched the video yet, but as a fellow vegetarian I feel this probably is the right call

[@jayeventus7088]

A Ragdoll is a specific breed of cat that are bred for the behaviors of going limp when picked up, hence the name Ragdoll. They are usually very docile and are very affectionate! OP of story 3 did the right thing with telling the truth to the shelter. The roommate clearly knew she was doing wrong with that diet and I commend OP for trying to keep the poor cat as healthy as they can.

[@faeb.9618]

honestly stories like that make me wonder if these people really do know what they're doing is wrong or think they're right but everyone else is wrong or crazy and lie to stick it to them or something like that

[@Shamazya]

@@faeb.9618 I do think a lot of the times it's the latter. Look at the bulk of anti-vax sentiment, it's almost all highly conspiratorial. In my experience people who do something like that which they know is wrong will either talk very candidly about how they take pleasure from harming the animal because they don't understand most people do not feel the same way or they explicitly hide because they know it'll be harder to do what they want if they get caught. With OP's roommate that's not what's happening so I believe she's sincere but it's still messed up and unfortunate.

[@damien678]

@@Shamazya this. all you gotta do is look at vegan conspiracies like the belief that bees get killed and become a part of the honey put into stores. its a stance made from a conclusion first. not evidence and fact first. it's working backwards from a belief and doing anything to delude yourself and others into believing what you already thought.

[@thewielder3445]

Makes me sad that that story is clearly set in Australia. Gumtree and the RSPCA are Australian companies

[@musicjunkiie2393]

@@thewielder3445 could be UK aswell,we have both here too

[@AndyyWithAY]

In story 3 the roommate knows she's wrong because she lied to the shelter. She probably wouldn't take it to the vet and other neglectful behavior.

[@joaolima7131]

It's ironic she is vegan, and it's willing to mistreat a pet, and going to lenghts to even lie to the shelter, the antivax and minimal vet care threw me off too. She should be petless, until she learns how to be responsable for one.

[@JUMALATION1]

Any pet is a (pet)lifelong commitment. I know I'll never get a cat since I have birds, but if I did AND was vegan, I wouldn't try to force my human own-choice diet on a pet that isn't meant for a vegan diet naturally. I'm actually a bit surprised the vegan roommate wants a pet that is a natural predator that evolved to eat mostly meat. I know some cats like to have a taste of some vegetables and even fruit in some cases, but it's not like they can survive on it. Bad judgement.

[@angycat4262]

The roomate was like "how dare you not let me abuse this cat?! You're such an asshole"

[@Sylphella]

Based on what op wrote, the roommate is antivax and doesn't think she needs to bring the cat to the vet or get the cat neutered. Ignoring the overpopulation problem that we are currently facing, cats who aren't neutered have a higher risk of health complications and will act more aggressively and spray anywhere they want.

[@hyperplaguerat]

The first story was a damn shame. That husband is being so selfish! My boyfriend (now fiance) stopped doing that before we lived together because when I'd spend the night in his dorm room it bothered me. I can't believe someone couldn't do something so simple for their spouse. Wild.

[@gammawolf2000]

it goes the other way as well.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: NTA. Op is an adult and doesn’t live with her mother, she doesn’t have to her mother’s chores. Story 3: NTA. Op, your roommate lied to the shelter employee, you told the truth.

[@pansprayers]

My husband used to pull that alarm garbage. I am a helluva light sleeper, with multiple sleep disorders, including C-PTSD related night terrors. When the first two warnings didn't sink in that I will absolutely not tolerate being woken up unless it's a 'call 911 emergency' (I'm lucky to get three hours if uninterrupted sleep on a good day, and it takes a minimum of 90 minutes for me to get there), he learned very quickly that a stainless steel pot and a wooden spoon make an excellent drum kit. Now if he wants to play games with his alarms, he sleeps elsewhere, and I get the comfortable bed. Why? Because he's making the *choice* to play stupid games, and that's the prize.

[@joaolima7131]

Tell me about it, but in my case, my "alarms" are the cocks from my neighboor, I'm also a light sleeper, and have severe anxiety and if I wake up in the middle of the night and the cocks are awake, I can't sleep anymore. It's interfering with my work routine sometimes.

[@pansprayers]

@@joaolima7131 when we lived in the Northern part of Vietnam, near Hanoi, it was an issue there, too. My only recourse that seemed to negate the issue most of the time was a combination of a white noise machine, a thunderstorm loop on my phone, and construction grade foam ear plugs (I have hyperacousis from a skull fracture as a kid, so I can hear the neighbors three doors down, despite having fabulous insulation). I could still hear MY alarms if needed, but it drowned out the additional noise.

[@joaolima7131]

@@pansprayers wow, so sorry for that, I'm gonna try those methods, just the thunderstorm one, can't get a white noise machine yet, just got a job, getting up tired to go to work is awful.

[@pansprayers]

@@joaolima7131 not a problem! Also: if you line your windows with cardboard as a temporary measure, it helps with soundproofing until you can get a white noise machine and/or blackout curtains. I have all sorts of tricks, lol.

[@mgaus]

You sound like a treat. You still married two years later?

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 3: very much NTA. Roommate does not deserve to own a pet if she can’t take care of them. I also hope OP ends up with the cat because they seem to care it more than their roommate.

[@bacgu]

Story 3: I have a cat that got bladder crystals because his canned food wasn't even providing enough hydration. It was horrible. He's fine now but to willingly ignore warnings and lie about the cat's nutrition knowing it was wrong makes the roommate absolutely terrible. OP is NTA.

[@hakudoushinumbernine]

I found out that having two water dishes, one next to his food and another in the bedroom (i use gravity waterers). He drinks more than the "usual" for cats and i feed him wet food mixed with a "soup" with chicken meat and organs. So has more moisture than what cats get from their wet food. In case it happens again, i think having multiple water sources will help.

[@blueraven3663]

Hello Mark! A ragdoll is a type of cat. It's a white cat with a darker face and very fluffy! I do hope the roommate can be persuade into Giving the cat a raw diet or any other non vegan pet food

[@sylvestercat1898]

Ragdolls are also very aloof and friendly cats, they even love water (weirdos of the cat world lol). And yeah, hopefully the vet will be able to talk some sense into her roommate cause if not, I don’t see a good future for this cat (especially due to their health issues).

[@joaolima7131]

Yeah, me too, even the antivax part threw me off, OP should report her

[@justabunneh6490]

I had a radgoll Himalayan mix as a kid, he was dope.

[@Ziyanani]

Ragdoll is the kind of cat I'd get if I picked what cats existed in my life.. I don't pick what cats exist in my life, the cats in need simply show up and get taken care of for I am crazy cat lady (not really, I only have 3 but all of them were rescues). a friend has one and they are just about the greatest thing ever, his just kind of falls over if you pet him and lays there purring like the world is all perfect.

[@desireeloveros1055]

They’re so fluffy and adorable I’d love a flame point one

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: I'm glad he is at least willing to listen. Story 2: Okay she is pushing boundaries. Either she has mental issues, or she is two faced. Regardless OP should not obey any demands her mother makes. Story 3: NTA, if she lied, then she gets turned down it means she was solely in the wrong. Theoretically you could make a diet that has little to no meat, but as OP explained it would result in problems because cats are primarily carnivorous. The fact the roommate doesn't actually care about the cat means she is a Zealot Vegan, she is about pushing her beliefs onto anybody she can.

[@pansprayers]

I'd bet that mom's having an adverse reaction to her steroids she's on for her injury. Prednisone is a freaking nightmare for me every time I'm on it (three to four times a year). It's the closest to what I would imagine a psychotic break feels like, but it's unfortunately the only one that works effectively for me when I get certain infections and injuries.

[@Homewarfare]

With story 1, "willing to listen" after acting like a total twat...

[@huinismith]

As a heavy sleeper and a night owl, I remember this story and how pissed I was with OP's husband. That sounds like torture. What an inconsiderate asshole.

[@Nylak-Otter]

I used to wake up the same way. It's not really a choice; it's just how my brain works. I also have ADHD and ASD. When it bothered my partner, I actually had to train my dogs and our cats that at the first alarm they'd get treats in the bed if they bothered me (I kept the treats in a silicone pouch in my bra overnight during the training process; seriously). Getting flash-mobbed by a bunch of critters all at once was the only other way to get my brain to kick in, since I now have to get out of bed and feed them to appease them.

[@huinismith]

@@Nylak-Otter That's impressive. And considerate. I also have ADHD and behaviourism has been of great help.

[@user-wj5cx2zp7v]

Story 2: "My mother jumped out the car and put hands on me, but hurt herself doing so." Translation: "My mother made the most half-assed kidnapping attempt. "

[@JootjeJ]

Blast! Story 1 made me with my ADHD, awful sleep patterns and six (!!!) alarms feel really guilty towards my hubby. Hearing this from an outsider kinda hits home for the first time what I've been putting him through for the last couple of decades. Poor lamb!

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 3: I am vegan and have a cat. Before getting her I was hugely aversive to meat. The smell of it makes me sick. But I still buy her the highest quality grain-free cat food because I love her and want her to have a long, happy, and healthy life. Cats are obligate carnivores. They cannot survive on a vegan diet. Vegan cat food exists for one reason and one reason only: there are cats that are allergic to certain meat proteins. It is insanely rare and cats who have it need to have a heavily supplemented diet and don't tend to have long life expectancies otherwise. If your cat does not have this specific allergy then vegan pet food IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THEM. I honestly think vegan cat food needs to be treated like prescription pet food and the only reason it isn't is because the companies who make it know that they can profit from people like OP's roommate who place their own ideals above their pet's health. There are plenty of wonderful pets that can thrive on vegan diets, but cats are not one of them. If feeding your cat a species appropriate diet is so difficult for you, then do not get a cat. ETA: SHE'S ANTIVAX TOO???? NO. NONONONONONONO. Cats HAVE to be vaccinated against feline herpes, calicivirus, and feline distemper. These are all DEADLY to cats. They are non-negotiable. The first two cause severe upper respiratory infections, which are more fatal to cats than humans. When cats lose their sense of smell from congestion they REFUSE to eat. My mom's cat caught rhino from the shelter he was adopted from and stopped eating. He needed to be boarded for a week so he could be put on fluids and force-fed. Rhino is very similar to a common cold in terms of symptoms, but it is deadly in cats because they stop eating.

[@pansprayers]

My first thought on the anti-vaxx after after hearing she got it off of Gumtree was, 'great, wonder if it has undisclosed Feline HIV'. That's the only time I've seen a ragdoll get shuffled on Gumtree for anything this roomate would be willing/able to pay. She's a hazard.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

@@pansprayers It definitely has something. No one is selling a pedigree cat on a website like that for *good* reasons.

[@carmenbarrera80]

I really don't like it when I see a person allowing their so to treat them so bad and guilting them for them asking common courtesy.

[@ruffr4bb1t]

Final story: this is why it should take a license to take care of anything alive besides yourself (pets & children) because some absolutely trashy people always somehow get their hands on them just to abuse and neglect them. It’s a little high but why wouldn’t you feel bad for a crackhead able to raise a child the worst way possible to raise another person who ends up being a pos themselves bc their parents were shit

[@dm9078]

This is not about alarms. Sleep in a different room! Oh yeah NTA! Edit after that update she needs to be sleeping in a different house!

[@jenniferhanses4205]

Story 3: NTA. She lied. She knows what she is doing is wrong and will hurt the cat, or she wouldn't lie, (also, I still wouldn't feed a cat hills because at least in the US, hills adds lots of grain to its food and as you know, cats are carnivores). If your vegan lifestyle is so important to you that you want to feed your pet a vegan diet, then get an animal that can eat a vegan diet. Cats are carnivores. They just are. Trying to feed them vegan will starve them of essential nutrients and trying to feed them only dry will deprive them of fluids. Update: ::facepalm:: Poor kitty. If you can afford to feed kitty raw behind her back, then good for you. There are also lots of other good brands of catfood in cans. If you ever go the canned route, you want something with less than 2% ash on the nutrient label since ash is a byproduct that can be harmful, and she's already putting a lot of pressure on the cat's kidneys with her vegan nonsense.

[@Shamazya]

I don't necessarily agree that she knows what she is doing will hurt the cat. She lied because she knew the shelter would have a problem with the vegan cat food and she believes she knows better. It's part of why she's anti-science.

[@Russman67]

The roommate will figure out pretty quick that the cat won't take to vegan food, especially when OP feeds the cat raw meat. Fingers crossed she realizes carnivores eat meat because, carnivore.

[@JRDZ1993]

Ragdolls have sensitive digestion to begin with as well so a vegan diet would have them vomiting all over the place quickly

[@jenniferhanses4205]

@@Shamazya If you "know" you are right, you don't hide it, you seek to change other people who are "wrong." You only lie if you know you are wrong.

[@martinrusev3502]

Story 1: NTA. This is annoying beyond belief. My ex used to do that but she was just lazy. My current partner never oversleeps. As a matter of fact, she wakes up 2 hours before me and wakes me up for work which is an achievement on it own. Story 2: NTA. First things first - I HATE WHEN MOTHERS USE THE "I CARRIED YOU FOR 9 MONTHS" EXCUSE!!!! Stop doing this!! It's abusive as F! Stop it. Second, yeah, OP is not a butler so they shouldn't be treated like one. Story 3: NTA. Oh hell no! From the first sentence! This is called animal abuse. If you can't take proper care of your pet, you don't deserve a pet!

[@pansprayers]

My biological mother used to use, 'I carried you for 10 months' when she had nothing to use in her favour. My response, starting at age 8 was, 'it's not my fault you don't know how to be on time'. I refuse to let the accident of my conception be weaponized, lol.

[@theyellowshoe]

Story 3, I rescued a 4 week old kitten about 2 yrs ago. Poor thing was almost dead, honestly thought it would die that night, I found (quickly) a Facebook group for rescue cats. Within an an hour I had a can of kitten formula a bottle & some eye drops for him. Well he survived, I took him to a low cost vet about a week later, he got his shots, chipped & got him neutered a bit later. He is now a spoiled fat cat that is well loved by my small family. My old retired service dog Ben helped "watch the baby", they are best buddies now

[@gypsygem9395]

Flipping heck, first story sounds like torture! Glad they've come to an agreement about resolving the problem

[@pansprayers]

Yup, it's hell. I can honestly say that after about the second snooze, you find yourself fantasizing about pillows on heads, especially if it's gone on for a couple of days. My husband sleeps elsewhere when he pulls this kind of crap, because I already get such terrible quality of sleep to begin with. Honestly? We fight less when we have our own sleeping space.

[@Love2Banime]

I have never heard of having an electric shock to wake up a person. I guess could be effective to wake up to than an alarm🤷🏻‍♀️

[@FriedaMMartin]

I sent tons of alarms, but me and my husband sleep in separate rooms on purpose so he won’t hear them. I do sleep early, but I just can’t get up.

[@johexxkitten]

Sleep deprivation is literal TORTURE, he is ABUSIVE!!

[@lista2308]

Story 3 sounds like OP should contact the cat daddy: Jackson Galaxy. The network and influence he has will get the rspca's attention if it must come to that

[@dream6562]

Cat owner

[@pansprayers]

TV programs are innundated with requests for appearances. Even IF this weren't a landmine the show's attorneys wouldn't allow them to set foot on, the chances of getting there in a timely manner. Calling a TV show instead of the actual relevant professionals would be like going to CVS and demanding treatment for your heart attack. You're wasting not only your time, but someone else's, at the expense of this cats health, simply because you want your 15 minutes of fame.

[@lista2308]

@@pansprayers what? I did not say get in contact with a tv show, I said get in contact with one of the most respected cat professionals on the globe. That cat is going to die within the next 4 years from malnutrition if not for OP. That is what OP needs help with saying to roommate. And by the sound of roommate, one vet is not going to be enough. Sometimes morrons don't understand they are in the wrong until a celeb tells them to their face that they are. But this is about having the right ammo when the future legal war starts. If roommate ends up on a international tv show saying they want to feed their cat vegipet even though vets says NO, that will serve in favor of the ragdoll and OP. Ragdolls are expensive to adopt, I will not put it past roommate to sue OP for interfering with the cats diet or the cats death or calling the cops for 'kidnapping' the cat when roommate moves out. So having evidens that protects the cat and OP. Why? Because roommate knows what they are doing is wrong but don't care, cause they have that fluffy cat they wanted right now. That is what my original comment was about, not 15 seconds of fame.

[@AlucardHellsing-ct4ej]

I have two cats and they eat a mixed dry and raw diet. When my mom is cutting meat she gives them the scarps. Plus, she has given them each big raw ticket drumsticks and they love it.

[@program.gender_notfound761]

Related to Story 1 I have 4 alarms, 1 to wake me up, 1 to make sure I'm up and out of bed, 1 for a warning to leave, and the final one to tell me to leave for the bus. I don't feel great snoozing an alarm, I usually only do that when I'm too depressed to get out of bed. The husband's behavior is so baffling to me.

[@JudeDragon158]

Hey Mark! Ragdolls are a kind of fancy cat breed that tend towards calmer laidback personality- they are called this due to their tendency to flop and go limp when placed on their backs! Ragdolls are also very expensive (my mums kittens tend to go for 1,000$ CAD) so finding them on Craigslist is... odd to say the least. They also have a tendency to tummy upsets; if roommate went ahead with the vegan diet that cat would literally vomit itself to death. Hope op in that post is able to slowly transition the diet to something appropriate!

[@sumonelse1989]

Story 3: This is not the first time I have heard of people trying to impose their lifestyle choices on an animal. Some time ago I heard of a young woman that had a Fennec Fox. They are such unbelievably cute animals however they cannot digest synthetic substances and are carnivores; not herbivores or omnivores. Eventually the poor animal started to have health problems and she completely ignored all the people who were telling her the reason for those problems. ( I'm reasonably sure all of this played out on a KZbin channel and I never did hear what happened in the end.) Even we humans must be careful with such a drastic change to our natural diet. We are not like deer or cows that eat just a few types of food and remain healthy. There is a vast variety of substances we need in order to maintain our health. Proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, etc. When switching to a meat free diet we have to carefully prepare substitutes for the things we would receive from consuming meat. But animals are even more sensitive to these changes. Just changing the sources of water for a dog can cause them health problems for example.

[@atinyevil1383]

I remember this situation. If I remember correctly, the fox was removed from her care before she did further harm. I'm pretty sure the fox survived, but this was also 3 or 4 years ago.

[@lsmmoore1]

And as it is, some humans can't go vegan for a variety of reasons - some due to obvious medical conditions (i.e. gastroparesis), others for reasons that usually don't become fully apparent until they try it (though there can be warning signs sometimes, like a person having nutritional cravings for meat they're normally not wild about even if they've had plant protein before, or the fact that a different person does better on a keto diet, or a subclinical sensitivity to one or more common plant proteins). Because as a species we are omnivores, but some people skew more towards the meat-eating end of the spectrum, some towards the plant end, and others in between (with those in that range including folks who can go vegan and ones who can't). And if not all humans can go vegan, then how likely is it that a carnivore could?

[@nongdam9908]

Most of the oldest dogs are vegan. They don't need meat, they need to get the nutrients. I don't know how it is for cats, but you shouldn't just rule it out, because it's "unnatural", most things aren't. The problem in the story isn't, that the roommate wants to feed her cat vegan, it is that she seems like she doesn't do enough research, to know how she can feed her cat.

[@laughableInflection]

@@nongdam9908 i know this was a couple months ago but i felt the need to say. dogs arent obligate carnivores like cats. Dogs could go vegan if their diet was properly and carefully curated, however that takes way more effort and attention than most people are willing to pay for their dog so its better to just go with the easier nutrition of meats, a bit of egg, etc. Cats however can really only eat meat as their stomach enzymes arent able to handle large amounts of plant matter and need specific proteins that humans can synthesize but cats cannot. These proteins need to be recieved regularly and directly from meats for cats. Cats also get a large amount of moisture from their food, so only feeding a cat dry, plant-based food and never taking it to the vet is basically a life sentence of pain for that cat. Its not only because its unnatural, but because it will do active harm to your strictly carnivorous, sensitive stomached animal. TLDR: dogs arent obligate carnivores and are closer to humans in their diet ability. Cats cannot go vegan.

[@Icalasari]

Going to get this listened to in just a sec. Just wanted to say, you have been a treat to listen to since I discovered your channel. A complete treat ^^

[@KayBX]

Mark and reddit brew are the only two I listen too :)

[@irisleli5151]

P

[@KayBX]

@@irisleli5151 what?

[@irisleli5151]

@@KayBX sorry my phone was in my pocket, didn't mean to type this

[@KayBX]

@@irisleli5151 aw fair enough

[@Princess_of_cute]

5:03 Oh god, that guy is just like me. I have an alarm at 6 am, then one at 6:30 am and the last for 7am. And all that, just because I love the feeling of knowing "I can still sleep!". I promise tho, I always turn off my alarm when I'm sleeping with others in one room, like in a hotel

[@mcyeetus6933]

My boyfriend and I often happily sleep in a different room or sometimes the sofa. Sometimes it's just far to hot but I have insomnia so sleep at really weird times. There is no issues with sleeping separately when it's going to make life easier.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *NTA* I do agree that it should be normalized for couples, even married couples, to live in separate rooms to avoid disturbing each other’s sleep. ATU: He’s acting like a child. Just because he responds with “OK“ that doesn’t mean he heard what OP was saying. STORY 3: *NTA* There’s nothing wrong with being vegan but pushing your dietary beliefs onto animals is a form of abuse. Cats get vital nutrients from eating meat, they are carnivores. If you can’t expect wild animals to be vegan you can’t expect your domesticated pet to be a vegan. There are so many products that are “made for pets“ but they are harmful for pets. What do you think vets have recommended food/treats. And not to mention there are some toys that are actually dangerous for the pet they are made for. Fuzzy tents are made for birds but they’re dangerous. If your moral beliefs are more important than your carnivore pet receiving proper care then you should not be a pet owner. ATU: 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@alexmarian4642]

“It should be more normalised for couples to sort in separate rooms to avoid disturbing each other’s sleep” THIS. I remember as a kid saying that when I got married we’d sleep in separate beds as I hate sleeping in the same bed as someone else (I move around a lot in my sleep, hog the duvet, and get up to pee at least once per night), and getting a bit stressed at the idea of having to sleep in the same bed every night, and my parents laughed at me

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

@@alexmarian4642 Honestly a lot of people do find it problematic hearing couples don’t sleep in the same room or even in the same bed. Some spouses will take that as “you don’t love being around me“. I sleep like a starfish and I just need to spread out. Plus is my spouse is the type that constantly needs to go to the bathroom and leave the light on for the master bedroom gonna be pissed off. Not to mention when it comes to arguments of how the bedroom is going to be decorated, we have separate rooms we can decorate our rooms however the hell we want.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA look, my wife has a similar issue. She is very difficult to wake up. We had to adapt to each other. That isn't this. He could get up, or just go to sleep earlier. For him to not even try to compromise despite the fact that it worked when they did something different is showing a serious lack of care for OP and her need for sleep. Also, This is why people shouldn't get married so young. His immaturity is a major factor here. They aren't compatible and she is starting to learn that. You change a lot in your 20s but bad habits you don't work on start to solidify, and others begin. Edit after update 1: what a jerk. Those are some toxic behaviors he displays and I hope OP can get him straight. Update 2: hadn't thought about ADHD, but doesn't change his reaction. I hire they get this nipped

[@impishrebel5969]

"he could get up" or he could have a sleeping disorder which makes it difficult for people to wake up. That's definitely fitting the profile of this and I think you're wrong on that. Like sleep apnea, because you're not getting the full REM sleep cycle it extends the time you need to sleep. It's like trying to wake the dead. I know, I've had people throw water on me and that be the only way they were able to wake me up. Sometimes it's way easier for us to get up with multiple alarms because it helps ease us back to consciousness. If he's got a disorder going to sleep earlier may not be possible, such as insomnia. ... Don't throw water on people when they're asleep though.

[@dream6562]

Nah she shouldn't try to change his routine and he shouldn't be forced to sleep earlier, get different until shit gets solved

[@pansprayers]

@@impishrebel5969 he admitted that he gets a dopamine rush from knowing he gets to go back to sleep. He's doing it on purpose, simple as that.

[@pansprayers]

@@dream6562 She shouldn't be cornered into having to sleep on a sofa because he's an immature asshole who admitted that he's doing it to chase a dopamine high. When you get married or move in with someone, you need to either learn basic manners, or be prepared for the very unpleasant consequences.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

This is my exact method of waking up *cries in adhd* Me and my boyfriend keep separate bedroom

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: NTA - You'll leave when she tells you to? I'd have noped out right then, too. You are doing her a favor, and this is the gratitude she shows? End of favor.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1 Update: Good for you for how you handled it! This absolutely warranted a firm boundary, most especially after his unwillingness to even discuss it.

[@gaxalee7392]

I have trouble getting to sleep(tossing and turning, sitting up, getting a drink, etc.), trouble staying asleep(wake up multiple times in the night), move a lot in my sleep, and wake up early in the morning 95% of the time(at least). I consider myself one of the worst people to have to share a bed with. If I had a partner and we lived together, I’d suggest separate beds, if not rooms, before deciding my crappy sleep and habits were their problem. When are parents going to learn that choosing to have and raise a kid is not a favor to the child? Kids don’t owe their parents for doing what the law requires them to do. Also, most adults aren’t going to do what their mom or dad tells them to. Seriously, “you’ll leave when I say”. Op is a whole adult, and this woman is acting like that one “the bell doesn’t dismiss you” teacher that nobody fucking likes. There are few people in this world who have the money, knowledge, time, and care to maintain a vegan diet for dogs, far fewer for cats. I guarantee the roommate is not one of these rarities(especially with the “it’s made for cats so it’s good for them” comment). Just because you don’t like the meat industry doesn’t mean you can pretend that carnivores and carnivorous behaviors don’t exist. You want a vegan pet adopt a herbivore like a rabbit or something similar. Don’t get dogs or cats just to malnourish them and use them to pander to your personal beliefs. Good vegans exist; the roommate isn’t one of them. Edited ferrets out.

[@francesquinn8091]

Ferrets are carnivores:)

[@ajwinberg]

My husband and I sleep in different rooms and it's the best thing we could have done. I sleep so much better without someone else in my bed with me.

[@jamisonosborne]

I found that natural light alarms are really useful. A lot of smartphones have that as a factory feature. Both I and my partner have one. Our alarms start off with the natural light option and then after a 15 or 20 minutes they play a random song from our Spotify playlists. His is mostly metal and rock, mine is mostly metal, rock and rap. It works for us and we both find that even if we wake up at very different times a minute or two of Falling in Reverse or Iron Maiden will either pump up whoever has to wake up or lull the other person back to sleep rather quickly. Yeah, we are a bit weird, but hey, whatever works.

[@neonlights3739]

21:03 A ragdoll is a type of cat :)

[@Lillypop93]

My SO tried the multiple alarm thing with me I dealt with it for four years before I gave him a couple chances to stop explaining I was tired but he didn't listen and one day I got woken up to that stupid alarm and shoved him out of bed Haven't had a problem since

[@Becks-and-books]

Being such a hardcore vegan she wants to feed a cat vegan food BUT gets a cat from a backyard breeder? WTF backyard breeders is horrible! I'm not against shopping animals over adopting, but backyard breeders are vile

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

If you're going to involve the RSPCA, you best be ready for then to tell you that the animal has to be visibly malnourished before they'll take any action. It's what they did to my housemate and myself, when we were feeding our neighbours neglected cat and it's sole surviving kitten, and rang them for help. Useless bunch of swine, in my opinion. (The landlord of our neighbour adopted the cat after our neighbour did a runner owing six months rent, and the local PCSO adopted it's kitten, so there's a happy ending)

[@pansprayers]

Keep in mind that most RSPCA's are woefully underfunded, and have a maximum capacity of animals they can take on before they have to automatically put them down once they are in custody. That doesn't make them swine (a very racist term, by the way), it makes the assholes who hamstring their budgets the problem. Try to educate yourself, and actually do something to change the problem (like talk to the people who fund them, register as a foster, ect), instead of slinging around bigoted statements.

[@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs.]

@@pansprayers The RSPCA is one of the UK's richest charities, what are you blabbering on about? And no, swine isn't a racist term, unless you think pigs are a race, rather than a species. Do stop talking arse, there's a love.

[@maheenahmed6653]

“I’ll leave when I tell you to.” Yeah you can’t say that to an adult child who doesn’t even love with you. Hell, I don’t even think you should say that to a kid who is a minor and living with you. Also, her grabbing op with her bad arm? Absolutely on purpose. Like a person purposely slipping on water they spilled in a store.

[@lapsedgoth]

My husband only sets 2 alarms when he gets up but he likes to turn the light on and chat with me if I show any signs of being awake. XD I've been getting him to go to bed earlier lately cause I fuss at him when he comes to bed at 1 and wants to chat. He can close his eyes and be asleep. He's fallen asleep while I've been talking to him. I take a out 30 minutes to an hour (or even longer if I'm having a bad night) to get to sleep. He's lucky I love him. XD

[@lizfritz6546]

Typing this out before the Reddit comments or any of the updates: First OP’s husband may have DSPS. I have it. Circadian rhythm disorders are very common and only considered disorders because they don’t fit into the common go to bed early wake up early schedule that is expected to live in normal society. Also, I could never live with other people again, mostly because I am the annoying roommate. I have alarms going off several over several hours in order to wake myself up most days. On days I have a important events I need my family to call me to make sure I am actually awake and even then sometimes I fall back asleep because of how severe my form of DSPS is. The husband is not necessarily out of line, he just isn’t well-suited for living with another person, or at least sleeping in the same room as another person.

[@InvasionAnimation]

Didn't finish the first story, but lady if the alarm woke you up, and he needs to wake up, just wake him! My folks had the same issue and this solved it.

[@pansprayers]

It's not that simple, and it's not her job. He admitted that he just likes the rush of knowing he can sleep another hour. He's also an adult, who got married, and not to his mommy. If you're going to share a bed, get out of that bed when your first alarm goes off, especially if you know it's disturbing your partner. If playing stupid games is more important than your partner's medical need for restful sleep, then you get to sleep on the sofa. Grown ups are responsible for getting themselves out of bed, and not pissing of their spouses for hours in a bid for attention.

[@InvasionAnimation]

@@pansprayers Marriage is a partner ship. If the alarm woke her up she can make sure he stays awake it is that simple. He won't get that extra hour to sleep feeling because he can't go back.

[@TarisLuna]

Story 2 NTA You are worried about your safety at night and made an absolute reasonable request.

[@lsilvaeditor]

Before I went to uni and have a roommate for the first time in my life, I had to train myself to stop snoozing and to get up after the first alarm. It took some time, but I did it, I changed my wake-up routine...only for my ROOMMATE to be the one to wake ME up several times in the morning with her blasting alarm, starting at 6 or 7 am. So, I would just sleep in the living room a few nights a week to try and keep the peace.

[@madcatlady]

I used to do the multiple alarm thing but I lived by myself, I wouldn't do it around others, that said people can be bastards, I was at a camp once in a dorm and had to get up for breakfast duties and the bitches who were up all night disturbing my sleep turned off my phone when it went off just once and didn't wake me which would have been the obvious thing and then I got chewed out by the ones in the kitchen for oversleeping. After that I slept in my car.

[@huh4963]

Story one: I’d set multiple alarms earlier than his so he understands the pain op is feeling. Don’t like waking up to multiple alarms? Then get your shit together

[@RSARYR]

The third story: Nta who in the hell created a vegan based products for animals the are born carnivores!?!? That is stupid and should be illegal! Edit: wow okay I guess I do see the premises of having it but only if it's for like health reasons.

[@singer2be256]

vegan cat food brands contain lab-made versions of the nutrients that would typically be found in hunted animals. The idea is that the cat gets all the nutrients it needs but no animals are killed in the process

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

There are cats with a rare allergy that makes them allergic to certain meat proteins. They can only eat a vegan diet that is heavily supplemented and even then, they tend to have a lower life expectancy.

[@KittenUndercover]

@@singer2be256 please don’t get a pet.

[@pansprayers]

@@singer2be256 Those 'hunted animals' have natural protein and nutrients that can not be sufficiently reproduced in a lab environment. Unless your cat is being followed closely by a veterinarian, do NOT force a cat onto a vegan diet, as it literally kills them. Even the one cat I know that HAD to be on a vegan diet for health reasons only lived a year when she was put on it. Just because the food is available, doesn't mean it's fit for consumption in an otherwise healthy animal.

[@singer2be256]

@@KittenUndercover too late. They eat meat though

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 Op needs to get earplugs, get professional help or divorce, he will not change.

[@Donald43]

The vegan roommate in the third story is why vegans get a bad name.

[@sophiescott143]

Story 1: As someone with chronic sleep disturbances, I have to have alarms going off for over an hour. Some people just have trouble with that. He's not in the wrong necessarily for struggling to wake, but he is the asshole for finding something that works and refusing to go back. Maybe the couple SHOULD sleep in separate rooms.

[@Linda-cj3rw]

For story one, just pick your own bedroom

[@teddennison344]

What I've been able to look up online says cats do just fine with meat-free diets, as long as they are fortified with the nutrients the cat needs. Veganpet is a legit cat food brand and I can find nothing about it being harmful to feed to cats. Not a vegan myself, and my cat gets a normal meat-based Purina kibble, so I think the idea of vegan cat food is dumb, but if roomate wants to waste her $ on it, doesn't look like she's hurting anyone.

[@elaexplorer]

I used to set multi alarms with the assumption I needed time to wake up slowly. But then decided to just set one alarm at the time I needed to get up. Got an extra hour of sleep and so was able to get up without difficulty.

[@yunki_]

Lmao mark. I thought the same thing on story 2. I read this one post where a man’s brain injury/medication made him more pervy. When he recovered he was MORTIFIED at hearing how he sexually harassed the nurses (more so comments then touching). It was funny but really bad at the same time.

[@GapingGorble]

Story 3: Why do I get the feeling that cat came from a mill? So much for caring about animals 🤷‍♂ this person probably only wants a cat because they're too lazy to learn how to care for an animal that doesn't eat meat smh

[@demonqueen3886]

First story throw water on him or tell him to sleep in another room

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA if you feel you're being taken advantage of, you aren't the asshole for feeling that way nor leaving. OP is an adult and is helping out of kindness and partly due to a transactional situation, but she isn't an employee. Mom is being a massive asshole for trying to control OP and change the rules at the last minute Also, assaulting OP and calling her ungrateful is horrible. The fact that OP had an interview the next day and that's when mom chose to do what she did makes me feel like mom was attempting to sabotage OP to keep her "helper." Edit after comments: the only other times was worse when OP was working...and now right before an interview? Sounds like she doesn't want her daughter to move forward in life.

[@pansprayers]

Pretty sure it's linked to the steroids she's on, as OP mentioned, since she said she put two and two together with past experiences with them. Of all the medications that I have to take, the Prednisone I have to take three or four times a year is the one I absolutely cry when handed a prescription for. If it's being prescribed, it's necessary, but God damnit if I don't have what I can only imagine what a psychotic break feels like for those three weeks it's in my system, every single time. It's like I'm watching my body do shit I would never do normal, from fifteen feet away, I dissociate so badly.

[@ethnedragon8287]

I sleep like I'm dead. I can sleep through multiple alarms set to go off every minute until they eventually just time themselves out. My home care worker has on multiple occasions vacuumed around me and I never so much as rolled over. She's checked to be sure I'm not dead more than once. She's so used to it now she just touches me to be sure I'm still warm lol

[@AndyyWithAY]

We need to normalize sleeping in separate rooms. People have different needs. I am an insanely light sleeper. I've never used the snooze in my life. When I wake up, I'm up. When I get married, we can share a bed a few nights a week, but 4-5 nights a week I need my own bed.

[@leegraves8878]

Yup me and my wife have done this for over a decade and the spark is still there. We're both arses if we don't get enough sleep.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@leegraves8878 Thanks for your perspective. When you sleep separately, you have be more intentional about keeping the spark alive, but being sleep deprived would definitely kill it more than anything for me.

[@pansprayers]

@@AndyyWithAY I've been married for 16 years this year, together for 19, and the single most important rules in our relationship are: we will not be forced to share a toilet, and must have at least two bedrooms wherever we live. It's worked fabulously in the 17 years since these rules were implemented. People fight less when they're well rested and not fighting for the bathroom.

[@lily-zg6io]

My partner and I are both disabled, they have Crones and I have CFS, sleeping separately makes it easier to sleep better, because I need 12 hours of sleep bare minimum, and they turn a lot, especially when they have a flare-up. It's made our couple life easier, and better. We enjoy the time we sleep in the same bed more and it makes it special, so we're less in a rigid routine, kind of like when you do something small like bringing your partner their favorite treat when you go to the coffee shop, when we sleep in the same bed, it's like that, like a date in a way. Having separate rooms is also nice to have privacy when we need it.

[@Silence-1170]

Wishing you all a great night just finished talking with my mom over the phone when I saw the notification!

[@CircusoftheMoon]

Story 2: My mom has some wild mood swings when she takes a lot of steroids too. In early 2020 she was sick (this was before covid tests were easily accessible) and her doctor kept giving her steroids for her breathing. Her personality changed drastically. Story 3: Hopefully roommate doesn’t want kids.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

My mom is a living saint! The few times that she has acted erratic was because she had an issue that caused her to need a certain type steroids. My dad figured it out her behavior was based on new medication because it was like my mom pulled a Jekyll to Hyde in less than 24 hours of picking up a few new meds. My mom still has to take them every now and then or she just won't get better so she always apologizes ahead of time and tells us if she's rude to either ignore her or respond by saying "Mom, you're on steroids" and then she will usually thank us for our patience. Even when nutty my mom is still a superstar saint!

[@BeingLolaStar]

As someone who also has a delayed sleep cycle, doesn't do mornings well and sets multiple alarms in order to get me out of bed if I have to wake up: HE'S THE ASSHOLE. It's *HIS* sleep schedule not his partner's and he's being extremely disrespectful. Any time I've been sleeping with a partner we've adjusted BOTH our alarm and made compromises. Edit: LMAO my ADHD had me commenting while listening and so funny that other people commented and it's mentioned in the update. It is a really common thing to have sleep issues with ADHD.

[@rockfan243]

Story 1 ooooooh poor baby OP's husband sleeps deep because he is up all night playing games instead of sleeping and when OP tries to communicate and compromise he stomps around and slams doors and blames op......NTA that boy needs to grow tf up yesterday I'm in my 20's and am a gamer and I DONT play into the early hours like I'm 14

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Been there done that and refuse to do it ever again. It's far easier to just get up the moment you hear the alarm the first time. Snoozing is bad bad bad, lol. 2. I'm glad to hear that it's the medication that was making mom act that way. My mom's health has taken a dive lately, she's 78. My brother is trying to blame the vaccine, (he's one of those, lol) but she passed out in a store and fell flat on her face. I'm concerned about her and am planning on going to her next doctor appt. with her because I'm so worried. 3. OP DID NOT over step at all. Instead she saved a cat from a life of poor nutrition and suffering. Cats are carnivore and require a meat diet. And they also need more than just dry food, but wet food also.

[@averymartin1327]

I'm not a super heavy sleeper but heavy enough that I never realize I toss and turn in my sleep like there's no tomorrow

[@mbyerly9680]

The way to cure the husband with the problem waking up. Hold a pillow over his face so he can sleep as long as he wants to, forever. I also recommend this for OP dealing with the vegan who wants to starve her cat to death.

[@amberluppens3292]

The alarm story: I used to do that, set an alarm for every 5 minutes for an entire hour. Difference was I had my own room at the time. Someone still advised me to use less alarms since I was always tired, so I turned it down to I think two alarms? One fifteen minutes before I had to be out of bed, and another at the time I needed to get out of bed. Not only did it work much better at getting me out of bed, but I also felt much better rested since I got to sleep for an additional 45 minutes

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 2 sounds like something may be up with the mom’s pain meds

[@somerandoonyt9553]

Story one. Prior to the update. I'd say NAH. This coming from someone who, for a very long time, had very bad sleep problems. I at one point was even prescribed medication to assist with my sleep. My issues were similar to OPs husbands. I had a very hard time falling asleep. And waking up was even harder. I at one point had to have the volume up so loud that it woke my parents up from the their room on the other side of the house. I would try different methods of falling asleep and waking up that would work for a short time. But my mind and body would eventually adapt to that method. My parents even accused me of being on drugs because I would sleep maybe 3 hours a night for a couple weeks, then sleep for darn near an entire day, due to exhaustion. Even in basic training for the military, their alarms and coming in to tell for us to wake up only worked for about a month, then I started almost sleeping through that, luckily I had rack mates to help wake me up, and I returned the favor when they needed it. It almost sounds like OPs husband finally found a process that works for him. And now is being asked to change. And if its something he has struggled with in the past, he may have been struggling to find a routine that works. And now he's being told he can't do it. As for his outburst in the update, I do not Condone that behavior in any way shape or form.

[@pansprayers]

Sounds like you have mild narcolepsy (wouldn't suprise me, as MEPS doesn't really screen for sleep disorders to enlist, and mild narcolepsy is hard to pinpoint unless you know the symptoms), might want to get screened for it when the symptoms resurface, especially if you have any service related PTSD. But this guy? Nope, he admitted that he chases the dopamine high he gets from knowing he can sleep another hour, thus the repeated snooze - he also seems to get off on the attention he gets from his wife when she's trying to get him up like I'm sure his mother fought to do. Problem with that is, she isn't his mommy, and he's being really disrespectful and borderline abusive. Intentionally depriving a person of adaquate sleep is literally considered tourture. If this were delayed/early sleep/wake cycle or prolonged sleep cycle, I might be willing to budge, but it isn't. Even sleep disorders (of which I have plenty) only become a reason, rather than an excuse once you seek help for them, instead of foisting the ripple effect onto your partner, and bratting out when you finally get told enough is enough. We've fought my sleep disorders in this house for the better part of two decades, because I can't medicate, meditate, or exercise them into submission. My husband learned very quickly, however, that playing stupid games with alarms for no other reason than not wanting to get up, or refusing to keep his snoring in check, thus disturbing what sleep I DO get will find him not only facing my wrath (if you're the cause of my exhaustion, you too will suffer, but doing so from the other room with the less comfortable bed. It's pretty simple - if you can't figure out how to respect your partner, and your only reason is that you 'like the rush', you get treated like a child, because lack of sleep can literally make you have a psychotic break.

[@marymasavage8986]

The medical story: OP, you better put it in your mom's file that she absolutely cannot have steroids due to adverse reactions. Heck, get a medical bracelet with that engraved on it. NO STEROIDS or STEROID ALLERGY, anything to drive the point home.

[@shadowm2k7]

I want Story 1 OP to set numerous alarms herself and interrupt her husbands sleep right back and see how he feels 😂

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

I bet he’d throw a bitch fit 😂

[@frankiedoodledandy8553]

I remember the story about the cut up wedding dress, I swear it was taken down halfway through listening and I never saw it again

[@rylashadow18]

Just when I think I have everything done I have to do all my paperwork all over again. It's been a bit stressful but my friends have been really supportive to me through this. I'm thankful for every last amazing person in my life. One day I'll have to catch up with my gifts for every last one of them lol.

[@brittanyparker6838]

I do love the update videos most. It saves me the cliffhanger, lol

[@joaolima7131]

Wow, OP roomate is very irresponsable and nuts, she should never have a pet, ever.

[@jessicapalmer3455]

My goodness... Marks voice makes me so happy!

[@yourneighborhooddeadpool488]

Ragdoll is a breed of cat Mark, it is similar to a Siamese cat but it is fluffier :)

[@lovelywolv]

I got the notification a while ago but the video absolutely refused to show up in my feed. Had to check the discord to make sure it wasn't deleted. Also Mark does the cat still break into your house?

[@Cassimfan]

My cat's main food is a dry food of a similar brand to Blue Buffalo, but she has plenty of water and gets tuna and chicken juice when I open cans of it and we occasionally spoil her with actual tuna or salmon out of pouches and we can't open a string cheese without her being there begging. I would never a million years try and give her vegan food, though, that would not be a good diet. She eats a lot of weird stuff but that's just occasional stuff not staples in her diet. Seriously, she's eaten a piece of potato chip and stuck her head in Mom's bowl of chip dip and went to town on it. My cat is a weird old lady, lol.

[@CariAndLenny]

I have even more alarms, not that I want to get that back to sleep high, but because I really struggle to wake up sometimes because of my insomnia

[@nolongeramused8135]

Story 2: Ah, mom thinks you're a slave. Punch her lights out and leave there on the roadside.

[@WakWak313]

Gracias, Mark! Putting away the weekly shop with you on in the background.

[@rowan5335]

They're personal alarms that vibrate, a wrist alarm and a pillow alarm. Originally made for hearing impairef

[@DarkRelm22]

i knew i remembered that multiple alarms story! Thanks, Mark! I thought I was crazy, haha ^^

[@WhereThouDwells]

Story 3: NTA a thousand times over. The cat shouldn't have to suffer due to the roommate's moral and dietary decisions. RM is an ignorant horrible person who gives sensible vegans a bad name.

[@t1995roger10]

Having a shocking night of sleep... That wristband will help you feel buzzed and ready to take on the day!

[@pansprayers]

There's an even better one, lol. It fits underneath the mattress, and throws the person on that side around like they're in a 5.0 earthquake. I'm an asshole, though. Interrupt what little sleep I am able to get, be prepared to suffer with me.

[@emcustard]

Story 1: Makes me think of that one video of the lady banging pots together singing, "I don't get no sleep cuz of y'all, y'all not gonna get no sleep cuz of me" Sleep is incredibly important for health and wellbeing.

[@rmhartman]

if you do not believe in your veganism enough to tell the shelter your plan, then you know something is wrong with it.

[@axepagode33626]

Vegan Cat Food Story: I normally have a mind your own business policy. I this case you made a mistake by telling the after your roommate walked away. Had you sone a little acting and corrected her immediately, like saying "so you are throwing out that vegan kitty litter? Great! I was worried." This could have been followed with questions to the vet about the problems with feeding a car a vegan diet.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: NTA - She lied, and you told the truth. Ultimately, it was the shelter's decision. Better them than the vet with the euthanasia needle. Overstepped? Was your friend thinking you'd watch her torture and slowly starve a cat in your shared home and do nothing? Were they just planning to turn a blind eye? Make it make sense.

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

I had no idea about the dried cat food all the time causes Bladder Stones and Dehydration!! I am definitely changing my cat's food habits now!!

[@chinmay4331]

I do this set multiple alarm routine... I don't think the OP understands how this works -- you set up the alarms so that you get out of your deep sleep. Then, you enter a state of light sleep -- that is until the time you need to get up. You are then able to immediately jump out of bed and get to work because your brain has been priming for it for the previous 30-45 minutes. It would not work if he just sets the alarm for 7 AM. No way he would be able to just get up from deep sleep the way he is able to get up now.

[@ChefDuJour78]

Cats cannot digest grains or most vegetables. Forcing an animal that is a carnivore to be vegan IS CRUELTY.

[@bellasmom2597]

The vegan lied because she knew it was abusive to feed the cat vegan.