Man Says He Can't Control His Rage

“My Husband Rages”
Watch more videos from this episode: • “My Husband Rages”
Natasha says despite her 8-year marriage with her husband, Brenden, being full of screaming, fights, threats, name-calling and pushes to the face, which she calls “muffing,” she still stays by his side. Why is Natasha trying to make this relationship work? Brenden admits he can get anxious, which leads to outbursts of anger, but says he suspects he could have a medical problem. Dr. Phil asks Dr. Bradley Jabour, CEO and Chief of Radiology at Medical Imaging Center of Southern California, to find out if Brenden could really have something medically wrong with his brain. (19126)
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[@allyb3510]

He is a terrific example of why its important to teach children its ok to have bad days but not ok to take them out on others.

[@haveagreatday3664]

He still blames her. He still judges how she handles his abuse and everything needs to be his way.

[@honestguyintelligent3022]

I think the show producers had a set of questions to ask him, and one of them was "What do you think *Natasha* should improve on?"

[@KCsFunHouse]

This girl has the patience of a saint, continuing to go back to someone with such rage when they’re both so young.

[@wassupjg]

or low self esteem unfortunately

[@amysue1616]

@@wassupjgor religious

[@nadogrl]

Security…

[@l.a.s.3374]

At least he’s self-aware. Most of Dr. Phil’s guests think nothing’s wrong with them.

[@judithmiller7308]

He claims to be self aware, but blames her for everything. That's not self aware. He lacks insight.

[@PassionateFlower]

Most narcissists are "self aware", still makes them abusers. It's Abuse Addiction. He gets off on abusing her. I dated a narcissist who got really turned on after emotionally abusing me and it freaked me out because it made him horny to break my spirit as a woman 💔

[@krystalfrancis1122]

No way his smile in the beginning gave me such a uneasy feeling off rip😭

[@journeymansmitty8283]

This perfectly proves with that when you're going to marry someone or you're dating them you never know what intentions they have for you until they're ready to hurt you🤔

[@beaucameron8025]

Said she needs to get better at communicating. 2 seconds before that he saiz "I wish you grew up 50 years ago where I could beat you up for being incompetent". Nice one mate, nice one. Real good communication skills there.

[@Treythoven]

The man is clearly disturbed and looking for help. He feels unheard and not cared about. It’s a pretty natural response for someone with something like BPD, Bi-Polar, CPTSD etc etc.

[@beaucameron8025]

He feels unheard yet is the most heard yelling and screaming. He is playing the victim.

[@Treythoven]

@@beaucameron8025 lol that’s not how mental health issues work

[@Tyrosine0910]

@@Treythoven Then do explain how "they work"

[@Treythoven]

@@Tyrosine0910 Are you really asking me how a mental disorder works vs “playing the victim”?

[@pootandbeans5956]

My brother was in the marines and ended up getting 2 TBIs from rockets etc. He had sever anger issues and trouble sleeping after that. He went to a brain clinic also and they found scarring on the brain. He's been sleeping better now and has less anger issues thank goodness.

[@courtney5594]

What helped the anger? A certain medication or supplement?

[@pootandbeans5956]

@@courtney5594 It was mainly being able to sleep to help heal the brain. Most people with brain injuries are unable to sleep. Once cleared of any danger and red flags the docs put them to sleep as much as possible to heal the brain. I worked as an Occupational Therapist at a Concussion Care Center on deployment in Afghanistan. We found that the more sleep the Soldiers were able to get while they were recovering the more it healed their brain injuries. Some were too severe and we had to send them back to the states but the majority took 2-4 weeks off from combat to rest, sleep and heal. Once the concussions were healed they were able to go back to their combat outposts with no symptoms....only to be hit again. It was like a revolving door. At least we were able to help them while they were over there. Once my brother was able to sleep his anger issues went away completely. He also meditates and finds peace by making thousands of rosaries for the Catholic Church.

[@courtney5594]

@@pootandbeans5956 thank-you for your help. My son is also recovering from a concussion and lyme disease so I just wanted to see how I could help him. We have faith and believe a full recovery but progress is slow.

[@pootandbeans5956]

@@courtney5594 If he has trouble sleeping I would say that's what you need to concentrate on. The more he is able to sleep the better.

[@stephmartin1148]

The brain Rehab in Orem Ut is AMAZING!!! Dr John Hatch is a miracle in my life and the lives of many in the valley and people who travel to see him!!

[@Kalahbur]

That smirk from him at the start says it all

[@tiddlesa.6125]

Yeah @ 0:03 it’s freakin’ scary, like he should have horns.

[@Iburn247]

He's had some form of brain injury and has frontal lobe scarring indicative of severe trauma to his head. They're seeking treatment

[@gladentertainment2018]

Gives this man props for being self aware and seeking help. his anger issues isnt "free will". he doesnt want them.

[@Sunset553]

If a man told me that he wishes he could beat me to death, I’d be gone. He’d have to sort it out on his own. Hello, domestic violence shelter, Me and my kids need a safe place.

[@MoneyMan28]

dont have 2 kids with him

[@thesimpsons2010]

I'm to toxic for that. I'd get right in his face and say do it little b*tch. No body scared of him and his perm curlers 🤣

[@timmykkgb]

@@thesimpsons2010 yeah amd it would probably get you killed. Someone like this is completely unpredictable, you cant just call their bluff lol. Hes literally losing control of himself when he says stuff like that, its not just silly intimidation tactics.

[@thesimpsons2010]

@@timmykkgb Won't be the first or the last time. I concealed carry and I've been in MMA sense I was 5. No one threatens me like that and gets away with it. I'm the only crazy person.

[@bigjohn1253]

@@timmykkgb it doesn't mean the victim is completely powerless and instantly defeated.

[@ryanthomas49]

That guy's hairstyle is rage inducing for some reason.

[@UnCannyValley67]

Horrific, narcissistic.

[@hilarycooper8660]

Maybe that's his real problem

[@jamesbost4798]

😂 I thought that they'd cut in to his brain and that's why his hair was like that

[@user-tt4qy7rh8m]

He’s my guy🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@nadogrl]

A worm growing out of his brain?

[@keatonscreations]

Did he just say “we both need to work on respecting each other” when HE told her he wishes he could beat her to death? The audacity of this man.

[@justiniscracked3956]

Because he gets judged for his anger you are not helping, until you understand what it is like don’t speak on it. There is something wrong in his brain.

[@justiniscracked3956]

He also was in the marines and that can have a very negative effect on someone

[@keatonscreations]

@@justiniscracked3956 that’s an explanation, not an excuse.

[@justiniscracked3956]

@@keatonscreations it is just like any other learning disability like autism you cannot control it

[@keatonscreations]

@@justiniscracked3956 I’m autistic and my son has severe behavioral issues. You’re trying to teach the wrong person. Both he and I have to be responsible for our behaviors, this man makes excuses.

[@meg2231]

lmao that smile at the beginnig was somethin' else...

[@googleuser2360]

Am I the only one who feels bad for him and want to help him?

[@alliesinger297]

I’ve got a GREAT idea girl! Leave him

[@Treythoven]

Lol yeah I’m sure she’s perfect. The man is clearly cognizant and asking for help and you tell her to leave 🤣 typical

[@AmandaLovesOldFords]

@@Treythoven no one said she is perfect. But there is no reason to put up with abuse, especially when there are children involved.

[@Treythoven]

@@AmandaLovesOldFords they’re there for help. Like… what?

[@chocolatenikki]

@@Treythoven You must be related to him. If the roles were reversed folks would be telling him to leave her!! Get the f*** out of here

[@classicasi88]

My sanity and peace is worth more than any husband. I am not responsible for your shortcomings nor am I obligated to become your victim because of them. You will have to work on yourself outside of a life with me. I will not stand by you. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@mmclaughlin9715]

Beautifully said. Although he has brain scarring which is most likely behind his violence, it's not safe to hang around in the meantime, as he's getting help. She needs to know to what degree this can be healed and see how stable he'll be over a long period of time, before going any further. She'd need to get to know him all over again.

[@mikewazowskiii]

he has hope, because he's recognized that there''s a problem and put it out there that he's more than willing to change for the bettering of himself and others, but he just needs the help. i empathize for this man.

[@CatharsisByProxy]

I think so too. There’s certainly hope for him and I’m definitely rooting for his progress.

[@user-tt4qy7rh8m]

Good for him

[@jakeherter]

You need to run away from this man as fast as possible and then he needs some severe behavioral Management.

[@frackityfrack8654]

Therapy, therapy, therapy THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY. Dr Phil wasn't needed but therapy was🙄🙄

[@babyhandgrenade4004]

No, therapy does not work in abusive relationships. It can actually make things much more dangerous for the victim because the abuser will use what is said in the sessions against them later. Also, they can manipulate the therapist into believing that the victim is the problem. Also, couples therapy doesn't work because the therapist mistakenly believes that both parties are at fault for the breakdown of the relationship. This is simply not true when it comes to abuse.

[@frackityfrack8654]

@@babyhandgrenade4004you do know that there are different types of therapy right? Individual therapy not couples therapy is what that dude should consider

[@user-rt7dv6rt6g]

I'd be angry if I had that hair...

[@rosie1885]

😂😂😂

[@bumper321]

Funny guy...... yawn!

[@user-rt7dv6rt6g]

Bumper321 do you have that hair..?

[@bumper321]

@@user-rt7dv6rt6g I do not, but to each his own.

[@user-tt4qy7rh8m]

He’s my guy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@amybarn9251]

Never ceases to amaze me. If you did this ONCE to me you would be booted out and forgotten.

[@threat8_]

Respect to this woman tbh.

[@smokeybear5535]

She's my aunt lol

[@justinacormier-hotel1675]

To speak to her like that you hit her too . I have brain injures from domestic abuse . It is not an excuse to treat the people you love like this.

[@tamyprincipessa]

It’s really interesting how the comments are so one sided, in this video the comments are mostly negative, in the video where they reveal Brendens brain scan results the comments are very compassionate towards Brenden.

[@victorsvideos27]

Great observation.

[@KarlieAndKoaGSD]

I have bpd and this sounds exactly like it

[@marleelyons625]

If someone threatened me even once on my life its police then jail for them or I disappear and that person would never find me again. No way am I sticking round for that

[@SurrealisticSlumbers]

I feel the same way as you do but I think we are in the minority. A lot of women have self-esteem issues and might make excuses for it or even think they deserve it in some sick way.

[@dannigro8794]

Break up there you go you don’t have to go in Dr. Phil to tell you that

[@AmandaLovesOldFords]

Punctuation.

[@kennastout7621]

HIS HAIR THO 😶

[@jlarry1]

It’s revealed later that he’s likely suffered concussive trauma that left scarring on his brain.

[@deedeewinfrey3181]

Maybe his hairdo is hurting his brain.

[@obtaine]

Lol but really he has brain damage watch the newer vid

[@paulamarshall3810]

You’re so NOT Funny!

[@user-tt4qy7rh8m]

He’s my guy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@Megadextrious]

🫢🤭🤣😂😅

[@jonahanderson2663]

This is exactly my situation (although I don’t threaten to kill or get violent, thank god) and the anger is so over the top and out of control. I’ve tried everything to help and there is no relief and I’m destroying all the good parts of my life. I feel utterly hopeless

[@auzy2u845]

Go streve wilkos this. Or karmao. If you can offered it.

[@BecD1983]

Yeah but that “one thing” you do wrong pal is crazy!!!

[@amazingandrea9983]

I am not judging, either. Was he dropped on his head as a baby or did he suffer a sports injury to the head? This is not new! There is plenty of evidence out there re: head injuries leading to rage/crying, etc, Just ask former football/hockey players, watch the movie Concussion, or research Dr. Amen’s brain scan findings.....

[@r4v3n_random36]

I can relate to this guy 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙰𝙱𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙽𝙴𝚁!

[@lewiskazinsky7334]

If you feel the need to hit your partner to let it out, seek immediate help

[@aesyiia]

get help lol

[@n7tiq70]

@Women's rights was a mistake can kind of tell by your name

[@r4v3n_random36]

@@lewiskazinsky7334 I don't mean that

[@r4v3n_random36]

@@lewiskazinsky7334 bruh I don't even have a partner

[@sybil1911]

What is his hair doing?

[@spoooook]

I think he has them in dreads in a lil man bun 😂

[@elizabethmonsell1847]

He is like his mother. Head likely raised by single woman who raged on him.

[@ashleysimsipm4734]

I totally understand when he says he's aware but he don't know how to fix it 😪

[@sylviawilson9748]

Looks like he still has parts of the E. C. G. Machine in his hair.

[@madalynefreedman6522]

The smiling he gave in the beginning says it all

[@LetMeMuse]

Run girl.

[@hellskitchenkritterandfrie3372]

Nobody is surprised by the Man-Bun

[@tima2553]

LEAVE! SICK OR NOT LEAVE! A copy of my ex husband.

[@tygerrr_]

The king of gaslighting

[@dianaradford1040]

Any man tells me he will beat me I'm gone. No man should beat a women sorry.

[@ejroughley]

The relationship is really unhealthy. This guy has major issues but she is dismissive avoidant. They make each other worse.

[@babyhandgrenade4004]

Yep, it's what you call a codependent relationship. Very unhealthy.

[@satan9734]

I'm angry at him for going out in public with that hairstyle.

[@SandraNelson063]

It was proven that this young man had scarring in his right lobe. Damage. Seven places.

[@eashanahluwalia9599]

I have anger issues but he's blessed by God to have a beautiful girlfriend who's patient and kind and shouldn't take that for granted

[@marlak1104]

No self control because when he was young and acted like an idiot no one stopped him. Never liked the word “no” unless he was the one saying it. Don’t give him so much attention.

[@LifeisaBeautifulting]

How did she end up marrying him

[@genesisplus4325]

I had to take meds to get in control of my emotions.

[@Treythoven]

These are clear signs of a man who needs help. Sounds a lot like a strong case of BPD maybe tapped in with CPTSD. A lot to uncover here. Dr. Phil isn’t the answer.

[@Treythoven]

@VanVanTv lol you clearly can’t even read

[@Treythoven]

@VanVanTv I’m clearly saying it doesn’t start and end with being on Phil’s show lol like what?

[@ced6079]

He looks like the bagpack kid

[@periodtpooh1375]

*backpack

[@incoserva4623]

The source of his anger is his animosity toward his hairstylist. I'd be angry, too, with my hair looking like that.

[@hippochat4u2]

The only judgement Dr. Phil needs to give this man is about what is in his hair.

[@smiley2477]

Exactly what I was wondering.

[@kayvelli7895]

😒really? You sound like you genuinely have a life lol worry about your hair honey 😂

[@meimeidelcastillo8819]

Ugh... He needs therapy...

[@meg2231]

ahhhh so they were both marines, in this part of the interview the husband comes off as a decent kid who's just struggling to find his footing....the fact that they're both vets and things were exacerbated from that point on AND they have the insight to recognize that on their own gives me hope for them, they probably just need some guidance to recallibrate their lives

[@maryannerapana3375]

Still no excuse for his actions, it not ok

[@JAM-zp6wq]

This dudes gonna snap and murder this poor lady

[@auzy2u845]

He has lecsins on his 🧠.

[@j-metalbesonator804]

I'm no stranger to people with mild brain damage, possibly even me, from a fall at age 1.

[@Naynayrosemonkies]

This comment section disgusts me. Yes what he has said and done is EXTREMELY wrong, but it is the result of brain trauma. To "leave him in the dust" no. This person needs help and it's been proven. For most people to say to just leave him to his own devices and figure it out on his own is incredibly harsh. This is why a lot of people with issues do not bother to seek help for a fear of being judged and ridiculed. I have somewhat of the same issue and I would have loved to have ANYONE there for me especially during therapy, minus my actual worker who was incredible.❤️ Dealing with brain trauma, abuse and therapy ect is hard enough in itself without having people up your a** thinking you're just a piece of sh*t. If you had a great life, that's great for you, it really is. Some of us have not, it doesn't always mean we are bad people. It surely does not help to be put through more mental or physical trauma.

[@Naynayrosemonkies]

@@sunakoh3786 I've been through abuse and no I don't like it. My abusive ex is single for a reason. Also a vet. Doesnt mean I don't care in a way and want him to get help or for myself. Things fly over heads like yours like a kite.

[@elbakh600]

١- [عن عبدالله بن عمر:] نَهى رسولُ اللهِ ﷺ عن القَزَعِ قلت وما القزعُ قال أنْ يحلِقَ رأسَ الصبيِّ ويتركَ بعضَه أحمد شاكر (ت ١٣٧٧)، مسند أحمد ٧‏/١٤٠ • إسناده صحيح • أخرجه البخاري (٥٩٢٠)، ومسلم (٢١٢٠)، وأبو داود (٤١٩٣)، والنسائي (٥٠٥١)، وابن ماجه (٣٦٣٧)، وأحمد (٥١٧٥) واللفظ له • شرح رواية أخرى

[@paulinelee9694]

I wish you would all stop going on about Brendens hair and have some empathy for this couple

[@deadspacegrave2219]

That guys haircut says it all......

[@frackityfrack8654]

Tf is with his hair????? Ew

[@MoneyMan28]

it's a bird's nest

[@seanpearson1087]

@money guy more like a rats nest

[@Vixinaful]

Poor guy..living with this. Its not his fault somethings wrong.

[@DelsonZX]

I see

[@automisedG]

Damn

[@GeraltOfRivia99]

he said things got work when he joined the army??? theres blast injuries and head injuries that happen in the army that can cause brain damage. but maybe he had head injuries before the army too like the doctor said

[@linehedevang5028]

"She's more hard on me than I am on her" WhAt

[@babyhandgrenade4004]

He's abusing her, there's no way around that and regardless of his brain injury I don't think she should stay with him. It's just going to continue and keep getting worse. Things like stroke and dementia and TBI cause personality changes and can cause somebody to be abusive but that is no excuse and no one should ever be told to put up with abuse just because their partner has some kind of brain injury.

[@auzy2u845]

Wactj the next 📹s

[@MrKashifdon]

All that blinking he’s doing is creeping me out, I feel like that’s a sign of something being off. I don’t want to say he’s a terrible person but definitely a screw that needs to be tighten within him

[@kkibela]

He's gonna have to change his diet to heal his brain.. there are ted talks on this..I wish him well

[@jernikof]

Oh my god he is so cute...xxx

[@elbakh600]

﴿إِنَّا كُلَّ شَیۡءٍ خَلَقۡنَـٰهُ بِقَدَرࣲ﴾ [القمر ٤٩] صدق الله العظيم

[@trustenbaker8766]

You gotta give children the truth, unless you intend to handicap them for life. Proverbs 14:29 ""Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly." Ecclesiastes 7:9 ""Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools." If you don't teach them "The Way" then they can choose anyway. You have to give children an anchor in the mind. You can't leave a mind to it's own way, because of that way are the issues of life. Prov 4:23 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." You think any of these scripture would help him now?

[@smashie05]

Why does he have gum stuck in his hair?

[@nirmaladrieskens4338]

Use supplement magnesium tauraat that calm the nervous system😊After a month you feel calm🙃

[@charleshurstreinvention3959]

Becoming angry when needed is normal. But as I tell my own subscribers--staying in that state is not. Suffering from chronic anger causes a few problems. First it impedes your progress. By draining your energy that you should be using to advance yourself. Ever been angry all day at work then skipped that night workout? That's probably why. But it also isn't physically healthy and can lead to long term effects on the heart and doctors now think future cancer as well. Not to mention high blood pressure. There are two simple methods I tell my own people how to control anger. One you have with you--your breathing. You can breathe in a meditative state while walking down the street. You picture a coil slowly unwinding as if you were breathing through your stomach. Slow and in and out. Wind the coil and let it go slowly. It calms you down and if you do it every few hours for maybe ten reps then it keeps you calm. Second--reflect on what you are growing angry about. Is it really going to affect you even four months from now? You'll find many times it won't. So I would use these techniques to minimize anger so you can only progress forward. Hope that helps someone out there---Charles

[@Stephanie_bitches89]

He's a virgo for sure

[@sarah-et1ji]

he's a leo😫

[@adammanning1805]

BETA! His hair is a dead give away.

[@tomitheory]

Here: Look this name up on Wikipedia: Axel von dem Bussche. I am just related to Karl Wolff (Muslim Nazi Officer, Rabbi Wolff, & Rommel.) "Temper-riffic!"

[@christracy968]

This is my cousin 😂😂😂 him & his brother Christian are not right in the head for sure

[@bonnienero9415]

bet if the other person were bigger than him he would control himself!

[@iknowivegotasmalldickbut715]

That *s m i l e*

[@yournamehere3071]

1:31 creepy

[@wopbeezy437]

Dr. Phil aint got no juice

[@lunababy662]

He's secretly gay

[@that_brawler_745]

Put him in a mma gym he’ll learn

[@lilyflower5576]

Maybe He needs to be on sedatives

[@lindag1372]

Maybe spiritually he is oppressed or possessed. Maybe ask an exorcist?

[@Draxev]

Hi ppl in 3 years

[@Caseohsaccountcoordinator]

*i am hulk*

[@dihlanquinn7927]

I can barely watch this, having to look at his hair 🤢

[@imjustapancake3188]

Why did I accidentally click this notification, I was enjoying CTK :(( Check out the Bad Friends Podcast on KZbin!!! Please!!

[@alexradice8163]

Cringe

[@Arcticninja123]

hes in the closet i think hes got pent up rage

[@hcclips8780]

Send him to spar with Wanderlei Silva,lets see if he will be able to control his anger there..

[@ianeurekaxd]

OLA

[@DiogoFSH]

Second

[@radman4451]

third

[@notme9980]

First