Man Wants Baby With His Brain Dead Wife | Chicago Med | MD TV

[@batbabe1507]

Reproductive abuse is a thing. She may have not wanted one and just pretended to try with him so he didn't get angry. He comes across as controlling.

[@athaya2992]

agreed

[@sayatyann8683]

He looks confused he doesn’t seem controlling at all cause they were trying for a baby

[@amberwilson6635]

So when a woman lies or manipulates a man in the realm of reproduction, it's evidence in of itself he's abusive? I wonder if you'd be making the same arguments if a man lied to his wife about wanting kids when in reality he got a vasectomy. She is the reproductive and emotional abuser in this scenario. If she didn't want kids, she had a moral and ethical obligation to be upfront about that with her husband. Women aren't perfect angels, guilty of committing sin only to protect ourselves from the mean old men of the world. We are just as capable as men of being deceitful, abusive, and controlling.

[@pathetic2399]

He didn’t come off as controlling to me. Just confused and upset since he got one impression while she had another idiot. Don’t agree with his decision though

[@mckenna.grace_fanpage3286]

How do you pretend to try to have a baby lol💀

[@Idontwantmynametobepublic]

Everyone is arguing about how if it’s unfair to the guy or his wife but can we talk about how it’s unfair to the child? Stop bringing in children in unfavourable situations because of selfish desires.

[@jothePianoMaster13]

Unfair to the child that he would be granted life? I'm not saying necessarily that this hypothetical child would have a "right" to be conceived, but let's not say it's not fair to the child if he had conceived. Every human being is glad that had been granted the option of life

[@volrogue]

@@jothePianoMaster13 oh my god 🤦‍♂️

[@caramelcopcat]

@@jothePianoMaster13 “every human being is glad they have been granted the option of life” my ass.. millions of humans would rather not be alive at all. No child would want to be born from a brain dead mom that didn’t even want to have them, but their dad forced it instead. If the dad wants a kid, he can adopt. I’m sure all those kids without parents aren’t exactly glad to be granted the option of life, and would prefer to have homes and be born to loving parents instead.

[@greent16]

@@jothePianoMaster13 Are you insane? "Every human being glad that had been granted the option of life"? Tf are you talking about? Most people lead miserable lives and wait for death to end it all. You think all those drug addicted, trafficked kids are happy to be alive? You sound like you live in some pink bubble. I personally wish I had never been born. My friends feel the same . One friend is training to be a monk so that he can abandon this world and never perpetuate the suffering of life. You sound like you have no life experience

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

A WANTED baby How horrible What an unfavorable situation 🤦‍♀️

[@lounirs]

For me, it's not just about if she wanted it or not (it is important, but it's not just that), i think it's creepy for this man to make his wife live through their kid. You get a child if you want a child, not because you want to have see part of a dead person in them

[@artistic_ideas35]

She wouldn't carry the child herself. They were going to harvest the eggs and use a surrogate mother to carry the child. Some parents who wanted a child, when something happens to one of them, would sometimes want this so they could have their dream child together.

[@bellerain381]

That is where parenting situations like Finding Nemo comes up....the man will put the kid on a pedestal and never let him or her out of his sight, maybe even putting his wife's name with the kid.

[@yazanhussam8182]

But to be fair he wanted a child way long before the mother's death, also she should have talked to him about her not wanting to have children instead of taking birth control behind his back falsely getting his hopes up about starting a family, sure it might have made a huge impact in their relationship, but it's the right thing to do.

[@kaylayoung5372]

Don't some wife's save their husband's sperm and have kids after they die? I feel like if there wasn't an IUD then it'll be fine if you love your wife so much that you want a kid with her still especially if you know that's your very last chance

[@IStoppedCaring]

Agreed, I know a family personally who’s daughter unfortunately died in a car accident, years later they did IVF to have another daughter to basically replace the daughter they lost. They are making their new daughter do all the sports and hobbies that their deceased daughter did, pretty much using her as a vessel for their deceased daughter to “live through.” The whole situation is unfortunate, in terms of their daughter passing and their new daughter being treated like she’s the deceased daughter. As someone in the psychology field, I know how damaging that can be, and I worry for their new daughter who has to grow up being identical to her deceased sister. I worry about her having identity issues as she grows, not being able to be her own person and make her own decisions in her life. It’s a huge burden for her as well in terms of living up to her parents’ expectations of her to be like her deceased sister, and the stress and anxiety with that. EDIT: they did IVF in order to pick their baby’s gender/make sure they would have a girl

[@xoangelicaf0523]

It’s creepy to want a baby with a dead person that bad after they already told you she was on birth control

[@velvety2006]

Imaging the kid telling this at school 'i don't know my mom, she was already dead before i was born'

[@sammywilliam8156]

@@velvety2006 Or I didn't want to be born I didn't ask to be born I didn't even want to live I was manufactured corrupted and used as nothing more than a broken man's illusion in all possible reality I am no more than a computer a tablet a laptop ATV a car I am not a human I am a product I might as well have a barcode stamped on me my dad is not my dad hes my manufacturer And for that I can never forgive

[@jannalam6861]

Right. Just wait until youre in a new relationship where your child can be raised by their mom.

[@hollythecatgirl492]

She’s brain dead

[@berrymint6384]

also even if she wanted to this is highl disrespectful to the person you supposedly love It is HER reproductive organ and eggs not anyone else's

[@primcasiha]

How could this be legal? Unless she gave a written consent, no one should be harvesting her eggs.

[@Sniperboy5551]

It is legal. The spouse (and/or parents) get legal power to make decisions when someone is brain-dead or in a coma. It’s absolutely legal and absolutely should be, especially if she’s likely going to die anyway.

[@nancyleddige6997]

@@Sniperboy5551 The hospital would need a legal medical power of attorney form to be filled out stating who the person(s) who can make the medical decisions in case the patient is not able to communicate for him or herself.

[@helenrolon2590]

@@Sniperboy5551heck no, I will be damned if I was brain dead and my husband did that without my consent my a$$ will haunt is ass. married or not my body is b=my body

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

His wife his decision. You saying people that are condemning this with a board a baby without batting an eye, disgusting.

[@samg873]

​@@Americanpatriot-zo2tkmight be his wife but it's her decision what is done with her body and by having IUD she made it clear she didn't want to bring a child on to this earth.

[@ayanoaishi8489]

This is so unfair for her she clearly didn’t want a child and he’s ignoring all the signs

[@Dxrk320]

Ayano what are you doing here?

[@Annabellethedoll666]

@@Dxrk320Fr isn’t she supposed to be stalking sempai?😂

[@rynfornow3411]

“We want to believe something so badly that we ignore the reality in front of us.” There’s very little context, but something tells me this is a controlling relationship. She probably explicitly said “No” and he thought it meant “later.” And the rest are his ideas.

[@moonstone3054]

You're right, there is very little context. So there are a couple possible situations here: 1: She said no to wanting a child and went on birth control. The husband wanted to cling onto a piece of her so badly, he lied to the doctors so that he could hang onto at least a child of hers. 2: The situation you suggested. She said no to having a child, the husband took it as "we can do it later". 3: The wife lied saying she wanted kids and secretly went on birth control, not wanting to disappoint her husband. Personally, i think 3 is the most likely option because the man looks genuinely confused when the doctors said his wife was on birth control. But it's all up to interpretation at this point.

[@rynfornow3411]

@@moonstone3054 Great response! Although I have to say genuine confusion doesn’t always mean they’ve been mislead or lied to. Like the quote said, people can get so ideal that they get deluded to think, “of Course they want what I want!” No matter what the other tells them. Controlling parents are like this with their kids. My dad still gets genuinely surprised when I say I don’t want biological kids. Not here to make an argument, just want to say my view. :) Stay safe!

[@MT-US]

How about 4) she didn't feel he was ready to be a father, either now or in the future or even did not want to have kids with him due to a family or personality issue of his? But she still loved him so she didn't tell him about the IUD, figuring it would never be found out until it was too late (only now, it's not) ... (some people should never be parents, no matter what they say)

[@starlingswallow]

Yep. I wanted to believe my ex was the perfect match for me. So badly, I ignored some pretty big red flags. 😞

[@moonstone3054]

@@MT-US that is another option yes. there are definitely more scenarios that i haven't thought of, and my list was not exhaustive.

[@rannvamacdonaldarnskov4794]

Had a genderswapped situation happen close to me. Husband had some form of aneurysm, and they had been actively trying for over a year. Wife asked if this could be done, and the husbands parents also agreed that that is what he would have wanted. Doctors said firmly no. They would have done it if he had given written consent before he fell in a coma, but they were not gonna do that when they couldnt get consent from him. He passed away shortly after. I understand the grief and frustration in being told no, "should you continue trying for a baby between us if i die" isnt exactly a conversation people have when they plan to start a family, but proceeding to harvest genetical material for reproduction on someone without their consent... no, never.

[@aneshaelizabeth]

Clearly she didn’t want kids with him for a reason. This reminds me of when I was in my last relationship and I was secretly on birth control so I wouldn’t get pregnant. Abusive relationships are a thing.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

Sounds to me like she was emotionally manipulating him by not informing him of the IUD and leading him on. Yes she can have it if she wants, but she needed to tell him about it. He clearly wanted kids, and she did not. But by not telling him the truth, she was taken advantage of her husband in a way that should be considered emotionally abusive.

[@Momofan69]

@@TimberlakeTigerGirl Keep capping for males like this and one might pick you miss devils advocate.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

@@Momofan69 I'm not advocating for him as clearly what he's doing is not okay. But she's not completely innocent either if he had no idea she was on birth control.

[@confused_one_]

@@TimberlakeTigerGirl she could have atleast told him...

[@coffeekat5066]

While it's possible he was abusive it has to also be considered she just didn't want children at all. But if he was abusive or controlling in any way (which let's be honest, he's willing to disregard her wishes so...) it's completely understandable that she wouldn't tell him about the birth control, who knows how he'd react?

[@Sanjali04]

Well, now we know why she got the IUD. The guy seems very controlling

[@sayatyann8683]

How

[@katrinascarlet5637]

@@sayatyann8683 she's dead and he's still using her body. Doesn't sound like he'd take no as a "no" and not as a "we'll see"

[@DinastiaJonas]

My thoughts exactly, he seems to believe what he wants to believe and to be aggressive about it-like telling the doctor off "you didn't know her. I did" when the evidence points to the contrary.

[@OneGaurdian]

I don't think that's fair. Fact is we didn't get a whole lot of insight into their relationship. His wife is gone, and he's desperate to hang on to a part of her. So I don't think anyone should judge someone in his shoes too harshly.

[@lyssakate]

@@OneGaurdian I disagree. If he loved her, he would respect her choice to prevent conception. She actively took steps to ensure she would not be a mother at that time, and by forcing hormones on her body and harvesting the eggs he is disregarding that choice. You would never violate someone you love like that, would you? I certainly would not. At this point her lying to him is moot because she's not conscious to explain herself. All that matters is her wishes at the time of her death, and anyone who loved her would respect those wishes. Period.

[@njaj4602]

I get why he’s doing it but it’s very inhumane to use your wife as an incubator just so that you can have a child

[@currentlydead303]

She wont be carrying the baby, just put on hormones for 2 weeks so her eggs can be harvested

[@yumestationZ]

I'm not saying it's right, but he's not using her as an incubator, he wants to harvesr the eggs to be fertilized and put in a serigate mother. It's like if a woman asked that her husband's sperm could be extracted and used later with her eggs.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@yumestationZ Still not consensual unless they talked and signed paper before hand.

[@khululiwekhuzwayo1436]

@@magnarcreed3801 lol well she's dead

[@leshooty2772]

I agree that in this case it would be inhumane but she wouldn’t be used as an incubator. They’d extract some of her eggs, put some of the dad’s sperm in it, and put it in another living human that can properly carry a child. It’s a perfectly fine thing to do if you did in fact want kids but in the case where you don’t it’s a little messed up

[@Lellamellow]

Thats disgusting ! She can´t even consent . She can´t tell him no. And what about the poor child ? It will grow up in an awful environment.

[@Budlightdisenjoyer]

she's literally dead. The man wants to have a child with the woman he loves, obviously this is assumption but he would love that child more than anything based on how bad he wants it, it would not be an awful environment. I mean Jesus how can you even try and villainize/politicize this the dude is just doing this out of love and grief, sure it's a little weird but not malicious

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

Since she is considered legally dead, regardless of how messed up it is, she no longer has any control over her body. And it's a common practice for the widowed husband to request to have his dead wife's eggs harvested to be used later via surrogacy. It's a coping mechanism to help them come to terms with their wife's passing by having a piece of her still with via a child. It is kind of wacked, but it is legal in a lot of states.

[@Lellamellow]

@@TimberlakeTigerGirl that is so gross. and disturbing. The poor children.

[@violetblossom50]

@@Lellamellow She’s dead.. she does not care! She doesn’t have the capacity to care.

[@danika9411]

​@@TimberlakeTigerGirl I'm glad this is forbidden in my homecountry. It's disgusting and selfish practice.

[@NathanielTavington]

It is super creepy that this dude's first reaction to his wife's death is to use her body like some kind of egg farm.

[@TheMartyandy]

To be fair, he was also expected to make decisions on organ donation. Bit weird to say eggs are off limits when we can take just about everything else.

[@A.R.9]

Infintite baby farm stil works in 1.20.3

[@paccawacca4069]

Dramatic.

[@jenk4545]

If my husband turned out to be a creep like this guy and tried to do this to me I'd haunt the shit out of him. I'm talking blood coming out of the walls, furniture on the ceiling, flies everywhere, screaming and banging all night. I'd never let him sleep again.

[@angeleh4464]

you took the words out my mouth!!! bc what?!

[@rabiespuddings1735]

Yeah, a lot of people are painting the woman to be the villain in this instance because she didn't tell him, but let's get real they're probably was a VERY good reason why she was on birth control in the first place and didn't tell him. This guy just gives me very weird vibes, he's insistent on this even after finding out that she had an IUD and was clearly not ready to have children. He's still insistent on what he wants not caring about the blatantly obvious fact that she wasn't as ready as he was. Of course, we have very little context to their relationship but this very much seems like this was a controlling relationship. Most likely she said "no" and he just kept pushing and pushing until she finally gave him a yes, and had the IUD planted and just wasn't going to worry about it until she had to.

[@SL-gz3dy]

I think they are both very wrong and disrespectful to each other. Her for lying about he birth control and denying him to become a father, waisting his time. him for still wanting her child after knowing she was on birth control. However. I personally wouldn't mind if my husband wanted my child when i'm brain dead. I get it. You are in love, want a family with that person. When they die, you still want that family, and now it's your last chance.

[@EPrimeify]

You might be the Vecna.

[@badnoodlez]

She's the creep. She clearly led him on instead of being honest.

[@lydiajohnson9068]

Damn even in death a woman can’t control her body

[@user-by5lj5fs4v]

we never will as long men are around. they get everything handed to them and control us entirely

[@MajinMist603]

I mean women and men can’t really control their body as in the case heart beats , eggs /sperm making also periods are not controlled as it would never happen if you had a choice ……. Our bodies have its own programming we can’t control as it is on auto pilot

[@ssjshallot136]

Those are called zombies and we don't want them

[@fietsindeschie]

yo do you realize what you said lmao

[@elsagreen1476]

Right??? Disgusting

[@countrygirlxo7188]

Maybe she thought he would be a awful dad. My cousin was married to a guy for 14 years, she refused to have kids with him because of his uncontrollable anger. She finally divorced him and started dating a guy a couple months later and is now pregnant.

[@SL-gz3dy]

Then you don't go on birth control, you leave!

[@emackenzie]

@@SL-gz3dy man why did no one ever consider that simple plan? It seems perfectly safe and hasn't ever ended in the injury or death of the person who left

[@SL-gz3dy]

@@emackenzie because staying is safer 🙄

[@emackenzie]

@@SL-gz3dy I didn't say staying is safe either, but leaving isn't as easy or safe as you're making it out to be

[@danika9411]

​@@SL-gz3dy Especially in long term relationships there often is hope that you can work this out or that your partner will mature. Especially if married, because it is a promise to stay together your whole life. Relationships are work. Of course at one point you leave. But normally that happens after trying to fix your marriage for a long time.

[@sallysmith8408]

I think it’s totally wrong since the wife is not alive and can’t consent to creating the child. If they had made embryos before hand it would be a different story. Imagine the child growing up knowing his mother never knew he would be born, never even wanting them.

[@YeshuaKingMessiah]

His mom didn’t want him Maybe Very much happens in real life With living human mothers But his dad WANTS him‼️ his dad is the onnnnnnly one who will be raising him

[@jannalam6861]

@YeshuaMyKing that doesnt matter. Its not his body! And not his eggs! She had an IUD for a reason. Go adopt or have a baby with someone new

[@TychoKingdom]

I hope you guys realize when you get married your spouse will be in control of your body if you are unable to make decisions for your self. If she is brain dead. He can make Decisions for her if she doesn't have a will that says otherwise. This is why marriage is a big deal. Don't marry someone you wouldn't trust to make decisions for you.

[@neocomp92]

So just because she got in an accident that left her brain dead and thus unable to consent or withold, the husband had the right to her body? With that kind of precedent, who is to say this hospital wouldn't push every dying patient with no ability to consent to the organ donor list, and apply pressure to the next of kin?

[@ccggenius]

...That's literally how it works. If someone is mentally unfit to make medical decisions (and being a vegetable certainly qualifies as that), then their next of kin has legal authority to make any and all decisions for them. It's not unheard of for people with DNRs to stay on life support because their selfish families refuse to let them die.

[@itswindwheelaster]

@@ccggenius I mean yeah, that makes sense lol, but it's not really fair to make unnecessary decisions, especially when they're selfish that have no correlation to the patient's health, y'know? So he doesn't have the right either way

[@theshipper5797]

@@itswindwheelaster Well what other choice is there? Just keep them on support for the rest of their lives?

[@itswindwheelaster]

@@theshipper5797 I was talking about harvesting someone's eggs, should have specified that,

[@aeri_taylors-version]

@@ccggenius i think when it comes to DNR if there’s a legal document signed by the patient before they got worse then there’s nothing their next of kin could do. i don’t know about other medical decisions, tho.

[@rachaelsnapp8654]

She couldn't give consent to her eggs being harvested so her husband could still have a child that would be biologically hers. That just seems to unethical on so many levels. Especially since she had an IUD so clearly she didn't want the same thing as him.

[@broadsword310]

The unbelievable part of this is that an ER Dr would actually stop to assess a family member of a patient… you’re lucky to get them in the room to see the patient themselves.

[@KS-se9jb]

She could have wanted a baby still, just felt it wasn’t the right time financially or something, and didn’t know how to express this to him. Who knows. I don’t watch the show, just these clips 🤷‍♀️

[@hannahbull]

Yeah I started getting recommended this channel and now I’m obsessed with watching these clips

[@artistic_ideas35]

Then she would have told her husband. Instead he had no idea she had the birth control which shows she didn't want the child, even if only temporarily.

[@SuzanneU]

The woman was going to an awful lot of trouble to conceal her use of birth control: tracking her cycles, using ovulation meters, going along with her husband's name-picking sessions. It looks rather obvious that she did not want a child and he was pressuring her. Even if she might have wanted a baby some time in the future, she did not want one in the present. Taking her eggs when she's effectively dead, fertilizing them with the husband's sperm, and implanting zygote/s into another woman's uterus for gestation and delivery - it feels like a really sleazy thing to do. Even if a live birth resulted, this would never be the dead woman's baby. It would be the husband's baby, created for his own satisfaction.

[@tdkiara]

i only watch the clips so yeah

[@ccggenius]

@@artistic_ideas35 If this was House my first assumption would be that she genuinely DID want kids, and did not know about the IUD because when she was a minor her mother had it put in her while she was having an appendectomy or something.

[@Midnight0Mistress]

Well this is troubling.

[@allisonhunter1063]

What about it

[@Eckertainment]

@@allisonhunter1063 That the woman has an IUD to prevent pregnancy but they're going ahead and harvesting her eggs so her husband can have a baby "with" her, aka not respecting her wishes. Brain dead or not, a patient's own desire should come first as much as possible. As the one doctor said, her body saying no but that's getting ignored

[@Jamietheroadrunner]

Very Mad Max. Disturbing.

[@stellac.e2086]

very troubling, wife was deceptive. actively trying to NOT get preg, while faking wanting to get preg with husb. fraud.

[@annemarieroberts1449]

@@stellac.e2086 to be honest this is disgusting

[@melbell0865]

There was a similar situation on an old episode of House M.D with the woman being alive: she was married to someone, and had a daughter from a previous marriage, but the husband also wanted his own child with her too. Because she’s near an age where it’s a bit more risky to have a child, they go to clinics to receive help with fertility issues. However, during all of this, she’s lying to her husband, and is on birth control while also receiving fertility treatments, all at the risk of her health.

[@triplemoyagames4195]

Why not just be honest

[@Fusemoree]

Ah now it makes sense why my pharmacist was asking me if I was still taking birth control while on estradiol pilla

[@hyekerm]

@@triplemoyagames4195 I imagine that she was afraid of losing her husband

[@Daeneiracorn]

@@hyekerm ah yes because just telling him "sorry I don't want another baby" is worse than lying to your husband and tricking him yeah that's so gonna go over well if he found out.

[@shuepsx652]

@@Daeneiracorn She just went ahead with the lie assuming she could hide the truth forever. And that could very well be what will happen, the husband didn't find out about the birth control pills in that episode.

[@theredcrossofficial]

Halstead looks like if Andrew Garfield and Bradley Cooper had a baby

[@zacherymayer4847]

🤣

[@thatonespoon_]

can't un-see it

[@stellac.e2086]

even with her eggs, there is no guarantee he'll get a successful pregnancy & a baby, with a surrogate. like she said 'its an expensive & long process'.

[@jannalam6861]

Does he really think its a good idea to harvest eggs from a dead woman who clearly didnt want any with him? He's crazy.

[@hannahbull]

the fact that was his first thought is weird af

[@athaya2992]

fr these type of guys get married just to have a free maid + an incubator

[@RobinPM86]

Grief can make you irrational.

[@annemarieroberts1449]

That’s really disturbing

[@jesselambert6663]

This is beyond disturbing and disgusting!! please don't tell me they allowed him to do this to both her or the child?? Please tell me he gets taken away in a straight jacket or something?😥🙏

[@NightingaleSpica]

Love how this just cuts off and doesn't go further. I am curious is if she really got the IUD recently or that its an old one that was left in by mistake, or was there malpractice and the doctor lied that is was removed, or she got it really young and didn't know the full details. So many roads that we can go down. Sure this is a show but I want more drama.

[@Justice237]

All we get was a scene of the husband approaching Will and saying “You didn’t know her”, implying that he was going to go ahead with the egg harvesting

[@zineguri8515]

that wasn't his wife. they made a mistake with identifying her body and had gotten them confused with her-coworker that was involved in the accident. his wife had died on impact, and was pregnant, she was planning on surprising him

[@targaryenxmandi]

I can tell that the husband was controlling and the wife was t sure how to break it to him but planned to. This is driven by greed and grief because he wanted to harvest her eggs. He's in complete denial when he was told his wife has an IUD. If he knows her so well, why didn't he get the chance when she was alive and ask for himself?

[@eMerseen]

Everyone forgetting that her organs were going to be donated anyways. Because they asked I assume she previously agreed to that. In a round about way that's consent. Its not like they tell you specifically what your organs will be used for when you sign up for that. I suppose then its possible that they would harvest the eggs anyways for an eggbank.

[@missspell4897]

That’s actually disgusting. Making a woman’s body go through something she didn’t sign up for while in such a vulnerable state, vile. Even if she did want to have a kid, I highly doubt she would agree to this knowing she would never even know she had a baby. For all anyone knows she was planning on leaving him and just told him what he wanted to hear so he could leave her alone.

[@rhyuh]

But if the roles were reversed....

[@reniorjd]

Is it all that different from harvesting her organs?

[@RubyBloodRoseGaming]

@@rhyuh Then it would still be wrong

[@benjamin32827]

She is not in a vunerable state, she's dead. There is no 'her' in that body anymore.

[@missspell4897]

@Gamer 64 so if your mom or dad or grandma was dead would it be ok for someone to tear apart their body? What’s alive? Someone could be breathing and living in hospice with a potential to come alive and someone could decide they’re not alive and do whatever they want. As some people have done when all of a sudden people in a coma give birth

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

Taking her eggs is against body autonomy. They should NOT be restarting the procedure. I wonder what happens in the rest of the episode.

[@vestayekta]

You don't have any autonomy when dead if you don't have a will or some sort of legal document.

[@sageseeker9197]

@@vestayekta You cannot take organs from a dead person. They have to be on the organ donor list.

[@reniorjd]

Then by that argument you can’t harvest her organs either

[@vestayekta]

@@sageseeker9197 As far as I know in most countries, if you haven't left an explicit will about organ donation they ask the family for consent.

[@angelagillett1033]

File law suit of the father for violating the mother's right and for not giving consent and could be considered desecration of a dead body.

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

Legally speaking, once a person is considered medically dead, the person no longer has any authority over their bodies. And as the woman's husband he does have a certain amount of authority over his wife's body once she's medically dead. It's messed up, but some states do allow a recently widowed man to harvest his wife's eggs for later surrogacy. They say it's a coping mechanism to help the grieving man come to terms with his wife's death and to give him piece of mind by giving him a chance to have a part of her back with a child. Again it's messed up, but since the woman technically neither said yes or no to the procedure since she was medically dead, they have to respect the husband's wishes.

[@Neferenmeret]

She cant consent

[@mellowmorningsasmr3770]

@Moses he’s grieving, I think he loves her and thought that she wanted children as well and like the doc said if you want something so bad you ignore the reality

[@vestayekta]

That's usually the case with dead people.

[@trevie7589]

She's dead.

[@violetblossom50]

She’s dead.. i’m sure she does not care lmao

[@AliceKate]

This is so wrong on so many levels key word CONSENT!!! The wife hasn’t consented for her body to be used in this way she may be Brain dead and unable to consent but that doesn’t mean you violate her body and do it anyway because she isn’t saying no. Not to mention the fact she was using birth control and lying. Which should be indication enough of how she felt about this. But the husband is only thinking of himself not his dead wife.

[@mameboubakardembatamba1877]

It's creepy for him to ask that from a dead body as it's creepy to hold your partner on the hope of conceiving a child together while you are taking all the precautions to not get pregnant.

[@Untitled_Novel]

Having the thought of having a child when the Mother is not fully there is wrong. No child should be deprived of their mother,

[@madisonobrien2197]

If she is on birth control, then he should take that as a no because that’s a sign that something was going on and she didn’t want to have a kid.

[@tforceraven]

"Daddy, how was I born?" "I stole your dead mother's eggs without her consent" I'm sorry but is this actually legal? That is seriously messed up.

[@felixhushpup2545]

People are immediately jumping to him being abusive but maybe she just didnt want to have kids and was afraid if she told him he would leave her

[@tlembro]

Contact her outside OBGYN…..see if they can shed any light on the situation!

[@douglascamus8207]

Legally, this is a really interesting case. I'll have to ask my lawyer friend her opinion on it.

[@Dee-jq2ob]

I can’t imagine it’s even legal. You can’t have a procedure (that’s not related to the diagnosis) done on someone, I mean you can’t ask a doctor to sterilize your spouse, so what’s the difference? I see the hospital getting an advocate for the wife to fight in a court of law.

[@downbeatdialga1341]

I know how much a lot of families want to have a kid, but honestly, wouldn’t adoption be the best thing for the character at this point? I was adopted myself, and while I know that the adoption process can take months on end from what my parents have told me-and providing for a child on your own might not be easy-in this character’s circumstances, adopting a kid really isn’t much different by this point than what he’s trying to pursue. Besides, there are many kids in our flooded foster care systems who’d be elated to have a great home and a parent who really wants it bring up a child. You shouldn’t be pursuing having a kid simply because you’re in love with the idea the kid would look just like yourself and be a better version of you. You should want to have a kid to be a part of their life, make lasting memories, and prepare a life to face our world.

[@hialmondjoy4592]

All of this aside, I'd absolutely hate to be the one to have to tell somebody their loved one just died. That's probably got to be one of the hardest (if not the hardest) things somebody has to do as a doctor or nurse. I don't think I'd be able to do it. I'd probably break down myself (which is probably why I shouldn't be a doctor or nurse, they'd got to have a lot of emotional control and detach from a lot of situations)

[@macmac6064]

I think he really loved her

[@LexisLoveyLu]

It's a really crappy thing that the husband isn't respecting the wife's obvious wishes, but at the same time she should've been honest and not given him hope on something that clearly meant a lot to him.

[@harls3337]

He could have been an abuser dude

[@bethbudner51]

While I never saw this "Chicago Med" episode before, but I can see what husband must've been going thru. Beth

[@rheaalyss2639]

I haven’t seen the episode so if there is more context maybe this is wrong but doesn’t he genuinely believe she wanted children if he didn’t know she was on an IUD his confusion and lack of understanding would be fair because he believed they wanted the same thing. She clearly didn’t want kids which means she shouldn’t have the egg harvest but if she told him she was on board enough that they did track her cycle something else must have been up because if she made a commitment such as an IUD her opinion was clear.

[@charlotteharris6951]

You're pretty much spot on. I've not long watched this episode and he genuinely didn't know she had an IUD. He said they'd been trying for a while. But at the end of the episode he disregarded the doctors and went ahead with it anyway. Completely unethical.

[@tymoore2117]

@@charlotteharris6951 not really, persons dead and body wont be used anymore. Only ethics would be if she wasnt on the organ donor list or had paperwork that stopped that. Ethicals usually is a extremely hard thing and usually is just related to what people have emotions about. This is legal.

[@kimpedersen5708]

@@tymoore2117 its unethical and should be illegal. thats her body and her eggs and her dna and she didnt want to get pregnant. he shouldnt be allowed to take her eggs.

[@tymoore2117]

@@kimpedersen5708 she wont be pregnant, she is dead. Also only way to prevent it is to get rid of the whole system of poa of a person then which would do more harm than good.

[@emackenzie]

@@tymoore2117 it's still incredibly unethical in the sense that she didn't consent to having a child, yet he wants to harvest her eggs after her death

[@jazzyj6640]

After watching this clip, I’ll make sure I write in my will that I do not want anything from my body removed or harvested if I’m ever brain dead. Eww.

[@goldmoonflower5588]

Some people go on birth control to help with other things. Not just to prevent babies. I'm on it to help with acne. Others to level out blood flow and so on.

[@tania_yt]

Yes but if they were actively trying to conceive, it seems counterintuitive

[@miranda13c]

Yes but if she wanted to have a child she would not be on birth control, especially an IUD which is a lot more complicated than just taking a pill and deciding to stop to get pregnant.

[@tania_yt]

Yeah either the husband is lying she wanted a child which i dont think so cuz he generally seems confused which then means she was misleading him saying she wanted kids.

[@elainebird58]

Exactly

[@klcee030]

i don't think you seem to understand that people who want children usually get off birth control.... its common sense

[@heartsmyfaceforever8140]

What’s he going to do with the baby that didn’t even exist when the mother died? Where is the woman’s family to advocate for her wishes?

[@TheArmouredAlechemist]

This is an odd scenario. As somone who didn't want children I understand the wife wishes completely. I don't want children. This so because I know at present o wouldn't be able to support them. But perhaps in time I may have changed my mind. But I lost my fiance in 2018 and I know he wanted children. I may have wanted children with him because I know I met the right man and so it may have been different. But if our roles had been in reverse, and I was the one in a coma. With my blessing, I would support him to raise our child. I know he would have loved them and raised them to the best of his ability. My dad raised me from age 9 after my mother passed away so I know a dad is an amazing father. Yes I understand to respect the wives choice, but I'm just saying I understand the husband. Losing someone so never easy and holding onto a part of them, a part of them that is still alive I understand.

[@artistic_ideas35]

Yeah that would make sense, except the wife didn't want a child. And if I remember correctly the husband was controlling and demanded a child. She tried to tell him no, he didn't listen and started tracking her cycles and everything. She got the IUD, which is a very painful and longterm birth control, so he couldn't get her pregnant. I'm alright with people having children like this, but the wife didn't want it.

[@vermilion6966]

but I'm just saying I understand the husband. - You dont. Her husband is a selfish egotistical mf. Why do you think she was on birth control AND fertility treatment? The mf cant take 'no' for an answer

[@angelinahu6975]

the man is wrong he can't force his deceased wife to have their babies if she was on birth control

[@2teaspoonfulsofsugar]

What if she'd wanted a kid? What if she'd not been on birth control? Her consent would have been given under a different scenario. I don't think this is alright, even if she'd been trying for a baby while living her regular life.

[@MayTheOddsBeInYourFavor]

That is crass and disgusting and I get people need to grieve but you don’t do anything but bury the body after death/coma. Anything else is just a violation of that person and imagine you want this now but later it’s too painful to see your wife’s face in that baby afterward. And then you don’t want them. Then what? Even harvesting the eggs is weird cause she can’t consent to this. Y’all making me want to go out and get a Will so that, if I can’t be resuscitated beyond normal measures, just LET ME FUCKING GO. Don’t keep my body alive, don’t harvest my eggs, donate my ORGANS so others can live but beyond that, fucking cremate me and scatter the ashes. I used to want burial but science is doing crazy things these days. Leave me ashes so there’s no chance of anything happening after I’m gone.

[@henryptung]

> but you don’t do anything but bury the body after death/coma ...or you do. You yourself mentioned organ donation, and while you may consider preservation of eggs outside the body a strange concept, others may not.

[@AA-qt1hi]

That's why you want to be knowledgeable about what's possible so you can make the most informed decisions for yourself. At my hospital. We usually tell all our patient's in our hospital to create a living wills or even more specifically directing documents while they are able to make clear decisions for themselves in the worse case scenario. Fiction like this always has a thread of truth that it was based on.

[@raerae2555]

She can't consent to it!!!

[@steveo252]

Why is it he can choose whether her organs get donated, but he cannot harvest the eggs?

[@bluebirbas]

Those eggs aren't going to save someone from dying. Plus she signed an agreement to be an organ donor, there was no paperwork for egg donation

[@najmabegum5789]

Is that easy to get hospital to grant your wish just like that a very expensive request? These health insurances must be really cheap!

[@fireflyinspiration639]

Never seen this show, but there are people who think their birth control was removed, try to have kids and dont understand why they cant. Its entirely possible for her to have either forgotten about it or for a doctor to commit malpractice by lying about it having been taken out. I had bc put in my arm when I was younger. It was experimental. I was having tons of side effects. I wanted it out. The guy doing the procedure kept trying to tell me I was crazy and didn't know better. Eventually agreed to take it out and tried to usher my mom out of the room. We both got a bad feeling about it and argued a bit with him before her reluctantly let her stay so she could make sure he took it out.

[@RobinPM86]

A lot of discussion going on about the wife's wishes; we can't KNOW what she wished because she's gone by the time we "meet" her. We, and the hospital staff on the show, can only speculate based on present evidence. As for the husband, this short clip doesn't tell the whole story about him, either.

[@Justice237]

I’ve seen the full episode, this shows every single clip from his story, apart from the beginning scene when his wife was brought in after an icicle fell and penetrated her head. He was a regular concerned husband

[@JaxonIrving]

THATS A FUCKING NEW LEVEL OF UNETHICAL

[@2black2black]

I am not sure any of the comments addressed this but I find it ironic that the hospital is saying that in the presence of an IUD that she didn't want a baby and that the father doesn't have the right to her eggs. However, with the absence of an organ donor card they are asking the husband for his concent to harvest her organs and tissue. So everyone gets a part of this woman in her death except her husband?

[@Justice237]

There are a few reasons why organ donation is different from egg harvesting: 1) A lot of places have an "opt-out" system for organ donation rather than an "opt-in", meaning that you have to actively withdraw consent for organ donation - if you don't, the hospital assumes you're fine with organ donation. The same doesn't apply for egg harvesting, and even if it did, the presence of the IUD should be explicit enough that she didn't want to have her eggs harvested or have children. 2) Organ donation saves lives. Egg harvesting doesn't. 3) All that aside, the end of this video shows the husband pushing through with the egg harvesting despite the IUD. The doctors can have their personal reservations about it, but legally, they have to and do abide by his wishes.

[@r.d.whitaker5787]

Ugh. He's a monster. This is desecration of a dead person.

[@LynSanchez-hs5fl]

It would be one thing if both of them had wanted a child, but it was clear she didn’t want one from the fact that she was on birth control. Just like how a will is made before death, he shouldn’t have any right to harvest her eggs or use her to grow his child, as she would not have wanted that in life.

[@bobojo37]

Hold up, little medical science error: I have three friends and two nieces who all have an IUD, and one of the benefits is your cycle slows considerably (and my one friend has only one period a year). Unless this was a copper IUD (rare in the US, because of the Dalkon Shield fiasco), tracking her cycle wouldn't have been possible.

[@meganstachowiak9527]

I have 3 cousin with the cooper IUD (In the US) who all still get periods, regular on schedule periods

[@bobojo37]

@@meganstachowiak9527 exactly, the copper IUD doesn't stop the cycle, only the hormonal ones

[@AmberKelly82]

The copper IUDs are fairly common in the US. When I took my 16 y/o daughter to get on birth control, she first chose the nexplanon arm implant but due to the hormones she had to have it removed after 6 months. She then chose the copper IUD and has fairly regular cycles, although they are a lot lighter and shorter than they were before. Lasting about 2-3 days now as opposed to the 8-10 days that it was before. They are extremely painful to have put in so usually any women that want kids in the next couple years would probably not choose to go that route, it's pretty invasive

[@BeccaBooxx]

My mother easily got a copper iud it’s not very hard to get.

[@bobojo37]

Its not hard to get if you know about it. But US OB/GYN's are far more likely to recommend oral pills than any IUD, when compared to Europe.

[@mermaidnott9713]

Find someone else to raise a kid with properly. It's unfair to his wife and that child

[@crystalturner8274]

I've read through the comments and I get all the different perspectives. My thought though is twofold: first, on the one hand he wants to bring a baby into the world to remember his wife by, which I get, but he's doing some knowing the baby will be raised without its birth mother. And I get how she can't give her permission because of her condition. On the other hand, The hospital wants to cut apart her body and parse out her organs to people, and yet no one has mentioned whether or not she has agreed to this beforehand. They want her husband's permission to harvest her organs, but they don't consider his permission to harvest her eggs good enough. Just some sort of double standard I guess.

[@Sez_155]

Exactly! How come the hospital can assume she wanted to donate her organs without evidence (organ donor card). But they want evidence of her consent to harvest her eggs? Also if her next of kin/husband can provide consent for one why not the other? Especially since family can choose not to have a brain dead patients organs donated, even if the person had signed a registry

[@misspoppyseed3909]

@@Sez_155 because organ donation is far different from egg harvesting. Sex cells and reproductive organs aren’t included in the basic organ donation cycle like hearts, lungs and kidneys. Sex organs are a special case wherein they can still create an offspring and after death it’s almost impossible to determine whether someone wants a kid. People need those organs to survive, you don’t need a baby.

[@Nisha_Chantel]

Organs can be harvested after death, and organ donor status is usually on your driver’s license. I’m pretty sure they have to keep her alive to harvest her eggs.

[@jothePianoMaster13]

@@misspoppyseed3909 The question is is there honestly a righteous woman on earth who, if they were about to die and never had any kids, would not want to have their eggs harvested to have their genes passed on? I don't understand why anyone in this brain dead woman's situation wouldn't want to have a baby with her genes. If she loved her husband she would want him to be able to have a child to remember her.

[@velvety2006]

she is possibly a registered donor but if there are relatives or a husband they usually ask anyway.

[@rickraber1249]

This guy must have money. The egg harvesting will be expensive, followed by IVF, also very expensive. Then he's going to have to find and pay for a surrogate. If the eggs are fertilized, the chance of IVF working is still just a percentage. Then he'll need a full-time nanny to raise his child. Yikes.

[@kitkukat9018]

He be lookin like gru lmao 💀

[@Bananasplitsssz]

How are some people defending the guy who wants to harvest his dead wife’s eggs so he can have her child, even though she clearly did not want children. It’s not ethical for him harvest something from her body without any consensual agreement before her death and use it to make a baby that she didn’t want. It doesn’t matter that “she’s not raising the kid” because that’s still a violation of a patients will. That’s like say it’s fine to Donate a persons body for science even if they clearly don’t want that because “it’s not like they’re there to complain about it” The husband shouldn’t have any say in what happeneds to her eggs, she might be his wife, but it’s her body and if she clearly didn’t want something he should respect that, even after death. Imagine if your loved one died and your first thought is, time to have s3x because now they can’t say no! It’s the equivalent of sexually assaulting someone while there unconscious because “it’s not like they’ll remember” And yes I understand how ivf works, my examples arnt’ exact parodies but they still raise the point that he shouldn’t have any say in what she would want to do with her body if there’s concerts proof against it.

[@TheEbanks7]

So for those curious, the presence of the IUD is completely irrelevant in terms of consent. The husband has the legal authority to execute decisions on her behalf regardless of preceding circumstances unless the wife had explicitly enumerated otherwise in a legally binding manner prior to her becoming unconscious. It's also worth noting that this has played out in several court cases over the years which have affirmed the given entity's authority to make this choice.

[@poesraven4540]

The law IS clear (for the moment, anyway) I agree. The ethics are murkier.

[@Kekeliz]

I feel like the wife should’ve been honest about not wanting kids with him it wasn’t right to play him like that and lie

[@leshooty2772]

When I read the title I expected something entirely different

[@AndreaRam]

Yeah same, I thought she would carry it.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

People are different anyways there are two people in the face of the Earth, or the same. Support running man once to die, and then the judgment.

[@quitethenerd]

i don’t like how the painting in the lady’s office looks like a swastika

[@deardiary8292]

Even if it was the Swastika is actually a religious symbol…

[@asmrjudie]

Sad. She had no choice in the after life

[@swolfe9668]

It's common sense, the woman DID NOT want a child

[@TimberlakeTigerGirl]

To play devil's advocate, what if she changed her mind just prior to being brain dead? Apparently it's common for IUD's to fall out if they aren't placed properly. Not to mention that since they stay in there for years, it's pretty common for women to forget that it's in there in the first place. Of course with her technically being dead, we'll never know.

[@Momofan69]

@@TimberlakeTigerGirl Devil's advocate doesn't really work if you give a situation that we can never know if it would be true or not. That's not what that is.

[@DigiDestined13]

Always get it in writing, ladies.

[@hannahbull]

this whole situation is just wtf

[@Just_natsuki123]

Did no one watch the video she said she was using birth control and just wanted to make the husband happy at the same time don't lie to your lover she's in the wrong buuuttt if your lover is in a horrible situation to the point of death your first reaction should never be to try to have the child yourself maybe she did want a kid and probably wants to raise it together you shouldn't choose for someone who can't even respond they are both in the most worst wrong

[@thecuttinggardener361]

This is not how these conversations happen. 🤦🏻‍♀️ also, the procedure for egg retrieval is not complicated- it’s like 30 minutes. And while the OB/GYN is acting ethically here, OB/GYNs are not the ones that prescribe stims meds or do egg retrievals. Everything about this is misleading.

[@jackieg4197]

The retrieval operation itself, no. But there are weeks of very carefully monitored hormones and exams that make it not a simple thing.

[@thecuttinggardener361]

@@jackieg4197 the worst scenario is going through stims and only getting a couple eggs. That’s what happened to me. The process was inconvenient with the blood work and ultrasounds, but not difficult. The retrieval was more painful than my c-section in many ways.

[@chloecamp8714]

It's TV. & I don't believe egg retrieval on a brain dead person wouldn't be complicated. It's completely different than a person who's well & fully alive.

[@kskitty68]

@@thecuttinggardener361 I'm going to disagree. The worst that could happen is that someone violates this woman's bodily autonomy and does something she obviously didn't want to do.

[@thecuttinggardener361]

@@kskitty68 agree, that’s why I said above that the OB is acting ethically. It’s obvious the patient didn’t want this. Unfortunately, families do things all the time surrounding end of life care that their loved one would not want. I see it daily.

[@ladyweasellou3367]

Wow.... These people should not be parents.

[@Ali-cat-ji5dk]

And this is another example of what we mean when we say Our Body Our Choice

[@jos.3649]

…. That’s how it should be, yet it’s not.

[@johannahyde-parker8422]

I was in a relationship with a guy who just wanted children with me I dumped him after saying no as I am in high school still and DO NOT want children right now

[@sabersage21]

How can one man be so based

[@jewelhaines8842]

Why can't we ever see the entire episodes?!😩

[@chantellegattrell7073]

They make you pay for that shatt

[@jewelhaines8842]

@@chantellegattrell7073 Oh. Ok!! I should've known!! Thanks!! 🥰

[@ottokarl5427]

This is a weird concept to me...when you are on life-support, you don't just magically become the property of your next of kin. If he said "hey, I need a kidney, can you harvest one from her while she is on life-support?" the clear answer would be "no". So why would you be legally allowed to impregnate her?

[@angelagillett1033]

And what happens when the child found out she came from a dead woman who did not want a child.

[@liv9194]

Not sure i like how people are painting this guy as controlling and manipulative when he's being put in an extremely hard position and still going through grief. Not saying what he's trying to do is right but just saying sometimes we do desperate things when we are in grief.

[@optronixatron]

How does this go in the episode? Does he get the baby?

[@kailiegilbert]

The episode ends there we never see.

[@kmss04]

The OB told them he was going to go through and proceed with the procedure.

[@sofiamastroiacovo7441]

Shannon was right the end of the video she respect people wishes they want to do I think in mind his wife can have a baby because you do not see it you can have it.

[@colleenodriscoll8914]

That poor man needs therapy his grief is making him do things that are against his wife’s wishes. He’s so griefstricken he’s trying to do anything he can to hold onto her in some way, even when the reality is right in his face. He’s not thinking straight because of his wife’s death and he’s abusing her without even realizing it.

[@vermilion6966]

its not grief its selfishness why do you think she was on birth control AND fertility treatment? The mf cant take 'no' for an answer

[@colleenodriscoll8914]

@@vermilion6966 I actually think it’s interesting that she never told him about what she was on. I mean, like he said, they were talking about kids and even picking out names. Why would she do all that while on birth control? She should have been honest with him from the start. Instead she was lying to him for months.

[@vermilion6966]

@@colleenodriscoll8914 Its not 'interesting' it awful she needed to hide from him because hes a controling mf. It was in the episode. Apaprently she said dude no but he didnt give a fk and started to track down her cycle. She was probably thinking of ways to divorce and run away but was too late for that Creepy -ss mf

[@colleenodriscoll8914]

@@vermilion6966 They never said which came first her saying no or tracking her cycles. Maybe he started tracking them because she said okay. For all we know, she could have just been playing with him. We don’t know the situation. You just assume the man is to blame because he’s the one wanting to go through with the treatment.

[@BRUNETTECANARY]

So what's going on with Dr. Halstead? What is it that HE wants to believe so badly that he ignores the reality in front of HIM?

[@Justice237]

He ignored the DNR of a patient with lymphoma because he believed she could get onto a trial for a drug that could save her life (he mentions that his own mother died of lymphoma and he would’ve given anything for a drug that could’ve potentially saved her). As you can imagine, overriding a patient’s advanced directive is a massive no-no and he’s still dealing with the fallout of that.

[@tsuki7838]

Please don't tell me he gets his way

[@mahzabinnn]

he doesn’t

[@kmss04]

@@mahzabinnn yes he does

[@Honey_pi3_forever]

It’s unclear we don’t know if he does or not

[@alexandramoyer8785]

Wtf is wrong with you

[@AndreaRam]

It’s okay it’s a show

[@jesselambert6663]

This is what I hate about this medical shows, especially this one. they always and halfway through the story and they never tell you what happens after🤦‍♂️ so frustrating

[@jonathankipps9061]

Would it have been ethical for the doctor to say that the procedure is impossible? Damaged ovaries, or some similar white lie? It seems like there would have been less suffering, drama, and anxiety all-around if the husband was simply not told about the IUD.

[@artistic_ideas35]

Legally they have to tell him. It's not just a white lie. She had a painful birth control put into place so they wouldn't have a child. Him being the medical agent has to be told everything involving her case. Plus there was no reason to lie to him about it.

[@Jr-shiungHu]

All procedures must be transparent to prevent liability lawsuit. I should know I have cancer. Ethic board only applies to living patients. she was on life support and can't make any decisions therefore responsibilities goes to family or spouse to make medical decisions. Regardless she was good as dead and the dead has no rights. Only believes

[@xtxpxhx]

Well lying isn't ethical...also may come with legal repercussions

[@bellerain381]

It is unethical and even if it wasn't, I'm betting the husband would move his wife to another hospital that would do the procedure...

[@atheon596]

It is unethical to lie in a hospital

[@Comicsluvr]

Wow...this is one from left field. Never saw this one coming.

[@mhs90]

This show comes up with the most ridiculous scenarios lmao

[@user-by5lj5fs4v]

a lot of men do this 🤦‍♀️

[@AndreaRam]

@@user-by5lj5fs4v that’s the point, it shows crazy situations that could def happen in the medical field. Not just the routine things.