Manipulation : Comfort Crumbs

[@SydMountaineer]

I know about crumbs, at times I felt so lucky to get them, but thankfully got to the point where I did not want them, the difference is unbelievable. The problem with seeking happiness & love on the outside of myself: When I was with a narcissist, I thought I was the most fortunate person in the world, in the beginning, and on & off through 10 years. But when I was not given that same level, it was awful- it didn’t get better until I began seeing him as normal, with faults, then seeing him for what he was, it was a HUGE relief. When I left, I thought it was so silly that IF he would’ve left me before I seen through him, I would’ve been devastated, vs relieved.

[@annaraven6322]

Very true, HG. Quite scary how much this sounds like some of my relationships.

[@sabsmcdabs7139]

Sooooo so true HG. Being strung along and searching for the golden period that never returns. I realised I've got a narc shelf ipss relationship and these videos have been great at recognising these behaviours. It's reduced emotional thinking as I take it all with a pinch of salt and see it for what it is.

[@dorothysmith7226]

Don't forget they don't want to be discovered on their phone so many times the crumbs are given in person!!

[@lctna]

Thank you HG. Such a clear and helpful explanation of why and how this behaviour is applied

[@OO7sMom]

I hated the distant crumb being barely offered!! Very distant. Shelf!!

[@SkylarK_x_bk_0]

I'm not the type to "hoover" up crumbs, I'm more of a whole biscuit type and Ginger Nuts very rarely crumble when being consumed 😉

[@killjoyredux8361]

Bang on.

[@susan383]

Not meeting friends or being seen in public has happened to me, back street girl.

[@dorothysmith7226]

That's all they have time for is to give you crumbs on the floor that they have dropped!! They hope you wil cherish those crumbs as gold!! When u figure this out you are no longer that special to them!!

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Thank you

[@Whitenoise541]

These delicacies are like being put on a diet - on a diet plan once I was told, “notice how full you feel on less amounts and savour every mouthful”. Haha that works NOT! But in this cult of one - you still believe for a while that it may. These examples of crumbs are bang on target. If we ever did get out for a promised meal he used to pull out a wad of screwed up notes (no credit card) and you could see the mixture of annoyance and disgust on his face that he had to pay for me. Upon my eventual departure I do recall firing an insult of “cheapskate” which seemed to hit the target. Mainly surprise I think as I’d never in 5 years said anything like that. I never got to hear the response because I left. Never to return.

[@missstarrynight7736]

I feel really lucky I was a "eating straight from a dumpster". That's why I rather quickly knew something was very wrong with that guy. I didn't escape immediately, because his coterie told me it's all about culture differences, the fact he never really was such seriously involved in someone, yada, yada, yada. They convinced me that "he needed some time to get things done right, and he's worth it, because he REALLY loved me". Without their assurance, I would call it quits rather sooner than later. There was a time of my recovery, when I was envious that other victims was treated better, even for a short period of time. Now.... well.... It's good that I experienced Bronze Period with my ex bf, and the Golden Period of friendship with my female friend. At least I know both methods of manipulation. I already know how both sides of the same coin look like.

[@cheezitsw3279]

My ex pretty much used sex to shut me up. One time, at the end of it, I said "Nothing's been resolved." And it never was.

[@tictactoedias1908]

Crumbs are for aimless ants 🐜 took me a while to realise this 💪🇦🇺 I’m going whole 🥖Roll now 😂

[@dianaalyssa8726]

I'm on the shelf /dance Better than being the IPPS imho. My narcissist is essentially on reserve. Best of both worlds. Haven't had to directly deal with him in years, everything is indirect. I only get benefits.

[@disdroid]

If you don't require anything from the other person in the first place, but take them as they are, the crumbs can be quite special if well meant. If that's their expression of intimacy then that should be good enough, otherwise leave.

[@TecOneself]

"crumbing' is an expression used from those paedos in the dark net who communicate by crumbling, leaving bits and pieces as a coding relation through the conversation, though words and some symbols as a form to guide them to the honey pot, or not, hence the responder also has to give back info, links, etc... Thanks for the video, I never meet people who do that, is interesting. I never go with people whom are not free in order to be total.

[@catherineaherne9841]

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn but you put yourself in a dumpster if you allow it...there is such thing as someone one who has every bit of empathy but then can run rings out of a narc. Nothing is linear..