S9 EP5 | 1/2 | HEARTBREAK HOTEL WITH JULES AND LORNZIE FROM OVER 25 | MANTALK.KE X OVER 12.5

[@thesereti]

Oscar’s heartbreak story reinforces what my therapist told me about heartbreaks; that when it happens, we mostly mourn the life we had envisioned in our heads in the future , the baby names…….and all.

[@wangarinyambura9797]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how perfectly the ladies' outfits contrasted with the space 😍😍😍

[@Torihappyness]

Spot on! Very chic.☺️

[@alanpierrers]

I had to pause and comment. So spot on! Now, I had to look at men and realise how off colour their outfits were. Lol. This eye for detail 👀😩😩😩😩🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kulgeek.]

There's a big difference, regular chats, calls and messages don't really amount to effective communication. Communication = understanding, listening, levelling and trust. Communication is in catching the little cues in someones body language, knowing when to give space. Communication is subjective. and everyone we interact with comes with their own communication style, Adapt and pay attention. we are all different, find your tribe

[@lorrecco]

I think that's secondary communication. The former are mainly about the media aspect of communication which are still important

[@j.j8566]

Who is this!!You have defined this so well.

[@dianaflora6156]

People have read too many rule books on relationships that they don't allow relationships to be natural.. Don't focus soo much on the DOs and DON'Ts. Just find out what you want and receive that from your partner.

[@itsme_Andi]

I agree. The rules make it seem like it's rocket science. As long as there are no glaring red flags as I'm beginning to connect with someone, I would want to love them without limits and the mind games. At the end of the day, I'm gonna learn.

[@wanjirumuthee3024]

Very true. There are so many Dos and Donts and this removes the natural aspect of connection. Its pure work to remember all the rules..

[@gracejohnson3048]

finally... i completely agree

[@digitallocations1423]

But narcissists exist, so rules must be there. Some people need them.

[@Mo-s-es]

Be self aware about the rules, then Do it your way. Let the rules "advice" you, then decide for yourself....furthermore some rules are meant to be broken given the circumstances.

[@kaihuramercy1673]

Man talk Ke x Over 25 episodes are my new favourite thing 💃

[@ceciliakalafa7755]

Am here for over 25 and the boys but I didn't see the Jules am used to on over 25

[@sunshineheaven1802]

Eli has not had his heart broken possibly because he plays too safe, would rather remain single than settle for less, jumps out before things get crazy, and also maybe he ended the relationship first. I am just assuming. But heartbreaks are terrible, yet necessary for that character building! Even as a perfectionist, you will meet the one that will make your heart race and they might or might not crash it. And heartbreak does not mean the relationship is over, it could go on. I am Eli, Eli is me....I used to play safe and then someone swept me off my feet, I died after they broke my heart.😂😂 I recovered but I died eyyyy that stuff is painful, and I think the older we get the better you can handle it for sure. You equip yourself as Oscar said.

[@miriamogwel3452]

hi typing dead😂😂

[@gracewanja9924]

Well said

[@kettykaimenyi1582]

Whoah, the first part is me. Always playing safe 🤣🤣

[@herimaya3466]

Stop projecting. Your life and life experiences are yours, let others have theirs too.

[@evalynenjuguna7383]

Eli- you don't need to be heartbroken, you don't need to go through the pain. Your view and clarity on relationships is different in a good way, and it's much needed in our generation. Stay different!

[@Beautifulkhaleesi]

“You’ve met her standards, she doesn’t understand that you’re yet to meet your own and that leads to pain, basically unrequited love.” 🤯🤯🤯 Oscar explained a whole relationship I had when I was younger to me in one sentence! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@kijana2030]

Mother of dragons 🐉 ♥

[@meandtheuniverse1449]

Jules and Lornzie's outfit 😍 totally blended with the background 😍

[@zachrobert6657]

The uncut version of Oscar is what we need in this particular conversations. There's no sugar coating he just blatantly rep the usual 'bad boy's' perspective and they certainly almost always win in whatever age group.

[@friedashifotoka6556]

Heartbreaks definitely help build character, they make us stronger and even better beings because we are able to analyse things more, know how to pick up red flags, and help us grow as individuals. It doesn't mean that everyone will get a heartbreak but for me it definitely helped build my character and made me wiser. Before that I used to be so naive lol

[@elizabethwainoga6083]

Where jules is am there, she is my voice in almost everything is discussed in both channels

[@annekiarie3065]

Oscar should speak on everything else but not relationships from now on.He can just continue being on a journey cz it seems he isn’t getting it even after all these conversations

[@waithererogithu3150]

Agreed, a lot of theory!

[@firdawsalaga3919]

😂

[@nyamburaadventures_ke]

😹😹

[@moharwalala4650]

Oscar ako chini 😂

[@joyjeptoo6453]

He's always been about theory, chill

[@baloziubalozini5074]

Whoever came up with that bacground designing is amazing,its ao refreshing and Calm

[@Irenewk]

‘I am poor with communication’ ‘I’m rarely on Whatsapp’ but the guy is readily available to everyone else!!! See the problem!

[@barnettedavids7653]

Face on!

[@nicholastoo858]

Deep conversations are what makes this channel. Don’t be swayed to do trivial stuff just for views.

[@cassierose8042]

Oscar I have literally never met a man in Kenya that takes you and sits you down and tells you "Look this is the situation...this is the problem" they just act out through abusive words... alcohol... cheating etc and then after all the damage is done they blame you.

[@minayomuya]

Oscar is such a sweetheart!!! There is a realness and vulnerability about him that is super attractive. I see him as a tender warrior.

[@ManTalkKe]

Thank you!!!!⚡ - O

[@eglahomwenga1494]

I really really want this channel to grow so that many more men and women can experience this kind of content…thank you man talk for always giving us your best

[@beloncekamz2821]

Finallyyy!!! The other half is here! Interesting conversations🔥🔥. Jules and Lornzie good vibes😍😍 #TeamOver25

[@julietgichuki9401]

Eli....you don't have to get your heart broken at all. Let's not glorify suffering you don't have to suffer to find your love.

[@sheliztety7972]

Oscar level of self awareness is really way up there and i pray you get somebody who can match your energy n zeal.

[@Maggie_ke]

Lornzie and Jules are hitting the nail on the head. 👌Representing us 100%

[@emmamwanza2138]

I think Eli it’s important to compromise in relationships... if your girl wants you to talk to her and you don’t like WhatsApp then find a more equitable channel of communication so that everyone’s needs are met

[@barnettedavids7653]

I agree with this, a relationship is 2 way, not purely about you

[@francisonoka8160]

Am happy you guys brought the other half of over 25 and I love the way the ladies are articulating their ideas ,incredible ladies doing good work. Oscar has always making the show fantastic and I just like mantalk Good job guys👏

[@wanjirumuiru6726]

Not me liking the video before watching it cause I know it's gonna be 🔥🔥🔥

[@ken4722]

I know y'all think Oscar doesn't know what he is saying but I feel him. I have been "punished" for showing vulnerability. I have been told I lose mysteriousness cause of communicating too much and too clearly. Maybe everyone in the room hasn't experienced it but its a real thing

[@eddiemetriumzone3583]

Don't listen to women's words look at the actions 😊.

[@FayKay348]

When it comes to communication, I think women pick the parts of information that fits their situation at the time and run with it. For instance, if a man says ‘I am not ready RIGHT NOW’ all we hear is right now. So we hang on to that knowing that the right now will pass. Men need to be very clear in that way. Don’t give any false future hopes. Don’t use words like ‘right now, yet, for now, let’s see’ etc. These create false hope, and make women think if they hang around long enough the right now will pass

[@mercynamikoye9084]

Perfect explanation

[@barnettedavids7653]

Spot on!

[@hannahmng]

Bad boys are definitely not for the long run, it was fun when I was younger. Now as an older woman, I literally get turned off by a bad boy and my standards have changed and want to marry a more calm and level headed man.

[@miriamwanjiku6136]

Oscar's shoe game🔥

[@ritabecky3752]

Oscar's perspectives Alwaaaaays Blow my mind!

[@j.j8566]

And Lornzie's wisdom is on a whole other level.

[@Godsgirlno1]

I agree with Jules. For the short term bad guys win but for the long run, the good guys win

[@becoming_mee4316]

Well, seems like no one is seeing how obsessive Eli's smile is... I'll take the honors of appreciating it 👏👏

[@hope.n.wilson]

Wow... Julez is so realistic. I bet it's from past experiences💜

[@ruthkiruki7333]

Julia is here...Over 25 representing. I love how certain issues have been addressed. This talk was fresh!!

[@Kahugzzz]

What Oscar said is just factssss the fact that it changes a person and you start examining yourself a heartbreak is just a life changing experience

[@Nicole-sm6sc]

I've never been heartbroken before. A friend of mine told me it felt like a heart attack she even went to hospital. Hadi unapata physical manifestations??? Maybe this love isn't a must😭😭

[@digitallocations1423]

God is good. You may never experience heartbreak, just tell God. If I was a teenager again it's what I would pray for.

[@barnettedavids7653]

But love is a beautiful thing nonetheless, it will always be, as long as it's present

[@Sandra-z2u1g]

11:24 I disagree with Koome, here is why. If the person you are pursuing is not interested in you, they will be ticked off by the slightest of things. You guy, a male friend of mine got dumped coz the lady did not like how he chewed!! Basically, if the person being pursued is interested, trust me even if you call and text after every 10 mins they will not mind. On the other hand, if the person is not, weeeuh, you might drop them a text after a month and they will feel like you are too much.... my two cents

[@Sandra-z2u1g]

@pm he chews like a normal person…she had nothing on him

[@teresiamaina9573]

True

[@carolinenganga3965]

Man talk ke + Over 25 is a whole lot of wisdom... Great episodes Cant wait to see you on Over 25 channel + Georgie😄...kindly discuss on relationships and individual purpose and how it affects the two

[@kimberlyk2623]

I haven’t gotten my heart broken a lot (2x) but it’s definitely because I largely avoided dating because of the fear of rejection. But after the second time, I just realized you can’t give other people that much power over your joy. I learned to trust that whatever happens, I’m going to be learn from the situation and I’m going to be alright. I chose to be delusional and believe there’s abundant love in this world, miss me with that “Nairobi character development” narrative pls.

[@chelosip]

I think Eli has an avoidant attatchment style

[@peacetumushabe2315]

😂 😂 😂 😂

[@tutoh.]

I think so too

[@zeldamanuela4523]

I am Eli and Eli is me….so yes he definitely does

[@blossomlarrysakura929]

@@zeldamanuela4523 same

[@barnettedavids7653]

True

[@richauntie316]

Where Jules is , I am 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@hotho4028]

I think men have such high levels of entitlement....if they're rejected, someohow the girl is responsible for their trauma and reaction (which is to turn into an asshole). the girl becomes the bad guy. come on now. men should learn to handle rejection like an adult and not take it out on everyone

[@elainekaniaru6346]

I think we all do not know how to deal with rejection (most often men) and we often see it as a negative thing instead of the process of finding the one.....POV

[@matildakipchumba2946]

Exactly this is so true

[@barnettedavids7653]

I seriously don't get why people don't want to understand this!

[@annekiarie3065]

Oscar is just😫😫like kwani he has only experienced young girls😫. He got narratives and narratives of so many clich’e things honestly in this generation.

[@surpeleisurpelei7501]

Yup. Oscar somewhat believes that there is a type of man that can attract all women, which is a lie. The monied men that go for trophy types, sleep around at the office is the type that has Oscar mesmerized, yet this type of man attracts a very specific type of woman too. The "M. Zuckerberg" , monied or not, type of man (that largely has his ego in check and hence is more keen on finding someone to do life with rather than someone to show-off/someone to conquer) is the type Oscar seemingly doesn't think exists. 🙄 A woman that is attracted to a Zuckerberg (or a Mkurugenzi or a Njugush... a man that just comes as he is bila madoidoi mingi) is rarely attracted to the "bad boy" types, more so past a certain age, money and might notwithstanding.

[@monetroshi]

Even me I wondering who are this men dating lol

[@wanjikuchege1803]

Wow i am so looking forward to this one. Biggest fan❤

[@camillatalam5640]

As a woman I've learnt the importance of listening and taking a man's words as they are. It has simplified things and really helped build effective communication in relationships...Oscar's explanation was spot on! I disagree that bad guys always win, I feel that it stems down to a lady knowing and understanding herself, and intentionally choosing what is good for her. I think too that it is easy to build emotional intimacy with great communicators and that contributes to feeling emotionally secure in a relationship.

[@paulinekiboi851]

Y'all have no idea how long I've been waiting for this episode 😀

[@kibelinka]

Sameee sis!!! 💃🏾

[@christinemukami2911]

I like the topic, I recommend a book called, "understanding men" it talks more about why men want more women, it is all about not understanding their emotions, that is why they are never vulnerable. (Not all)

[@justinelove7816]

Right person, wrong time... Great philosophy from Eli... When it comes to communication

[@j.j8566]

And Oscar..... I agree.Killing the dream....the imagined future...That's the most painful

[@josienjoroge]

Amazing conversation. Enjoyed every bit of it.

[@marieomedo3866]

There can be a break up without character development. Let's understand that please 😊

[@sandrafumbu6183]

Curious to hear about the second wife discussion

[@muzimajoy5617]

I feel like if the man isn't ready for something serious then the lady should carry on with her life and not just stay there and wait, putting your life on hold for a man who's not ready, so when the guy feels like he's met his expectations and he's now ready for something serious and commitment then he can look for me then, and if I'm available well and good if I'm not then too bad. let's not waste each other's time and break hearts.

[@barnettedavids7653]

I agree with you.

[@haroldojango2536]

I personally feel like for a relationship to be stable and long-lasting, either one or both parties have to have undergone a "serious" heartbreak.

[@barnettedavids7653]

I think that it makes more sense if none of them have undergone a heartbreak and are as naive as can be or they both have undergone a heartbreak since then they know what to watch out for

[@deesescapades]

One rejection and men spiral????? women get catcalled and gets insulted for saying no almost everyday 😂😂 women get chosen and compared and rejected because of their body shapes, complexion etc and we can still be nurturing and caring.

[@Nicole-sm6sc]

It's not a competition. These are different things.

[@deesescapades]

Nobody said it was.. it's just putting things into perspective on what both genders go through that and the magnitude

[@deesescapades]

And that men dish out what they can't take

[@barnettedavids7653]

You're so right! They literally can't eat what they're serving.

[@valeriecate9235]

Eli, I can relate to you sooo much it's ridiculous 😅. I have never been heartbroken, I feel like I have learnt and grown and evolved without that experience and I also have a perfect picture of what my ideal relationship would look like and this has made me sooo cautious when it comes to choosing a partner/dating...A heartbreak would absolutely kill me 😫😭....I don't think I need it and I hope I never go through it.

[@emmiemson7599]

Me too girl and at 30 I'm afraid If I get heartbroken now I'd crash

[@ken4722]

Maybe y'all have never loved as deeply. Cause a heartbreak comes from the beautiful experience of love. I hope you find that love one day. Also, I think heartbreaks are healthy cause you learn how to handle them over time. I fear for people who haven't experience them early enough

[@valeriecate9235]

@@ken4722 Yes, I have never loved deeply because I have not yet found one to love and be loved in that way...

[@aygeem1764]

That can crash you literally. Hope you never have to deal with it..and in the event that it happens, remember, SELF-CARE and therapy. Good luck!

[@valeriecate9235]

@@aygeem1764 Thank you! 🧡

[@manallove1]

i love relationship podcasts...they make me relax. better than listening to music

[@anitangugi]

Heartbreak is a part of life. Everything comes to an end - that is the way of life. However, don't allow the bad moments to turn your 'good person' to a 'bad person'. Go through the motions & LEARN TO HEAL. You carrying that pain & damage will affect your next relationships negatively. Heal.

[@africanqueenmo]

Tag the manosphere and teach them how men and women should communicate maturely to address their relationship challenges. I have a son in your age range and this is my honest advice. Rejection is just as normal as winning. Its just like the ebb abd flow of the ocean. Its just like business. In any relationship there must be risk.

[@monicaj7539]

I think jules blanket statement makes alot of sense when a bad boy doesn't know what he wants, in context in a relationship and his emotions. Because he is always playing the same emotional game with women all different kinds of them not really knowing what he wants from us. It is sort of a passive approach to act in the same way with different women. And women are different. But the fact that he can generalize women to act in the same way with all of us, really shows he's not sure, and he's on his defense.

[@elvismugo]

Julia at 15:08 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@nicholastoo858]

You don’t need to have your heart broken. Be observant and learn from the environment.

[@tash5115]

When Lorna said "we just recently became human beings" 💔

[@barnettedavids7653]

Sad truth.

[@ivynyambura8384]

The excitement 😍

[@alexxandermwai3171]

I just love the way Oscar lays things down... Weeeh Mans can sell me air, I will buy😂

[@pns140]

I too have never had my 'heart broken' but I've evolved regardless. I know what I want and don't want. I also know what I will and will not tolerate when it comes to romantic patnerships.

[@thisgirlasiko3283]

from this episode, my only takeaway is Oscar needs to heal from whatever cut him

[@Nicole-sm6sc]

At least he's self aware. How many men are going around punishing others for how they've been hurt😭

[@mleyamathenge5]

Love his awareness it's part of healing. I think it's strange for most people because men have not been talking about it. Men out here have refused to recognize their traumatic expeeiences and now punishing everyone. Again I appreciate his self awareness.

[@maliigoki8024]

Please date people you like and who like you because that's where the problem is. And you KNOW when you like someone and when someone likes you.

[@aokookello5564]

Never had my heart broken too. Because I am the one who left. But I felt bad still, for years. It's normal not to be heart broken though. Very normal. Let's not normalize heartbreaks prissss😁

[@iddahnganga718]

Depends on what side of the relationship you were on. You don't decide to not be heartbroken it happens.

[@risanaeljabuya]

Some of us really needed the episode🤗

[@herimaya3466]

No, heartbreak is not necessary. You're good Eli. You can still learn and develop your character and evolve.

[@stephaniemuchiri5644]

32nd minute! Oscar!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@firdawsalaga3919]

I'm not sure if it is just me but there's something about this video footage, I think when it's brought to individual faces it looks broader than normal. Noticed from the last episode with Nikita too. Just an observation though

[@alicemaina4659]

I think pain is often viewed through a negative lens.How can we say we expect no pain when going into relationships, that’s an unreasonable expectation because meeting a person who has a different personality, experiences, family background or even culture will definitely involve a level of pain in regards to growing with each other the question is not the eradication of pain but rather being able to assess whether the pain is an indicator of your emotional maturity being challenged which is something we should desire in a relationship to be the best version of ourselves. Pain doesn’t necessarily mean lack of compatibility.

[@ivynyambura8384]

Okay Conclusion I Need a part2😭

[@seraphinedvlogs829]

I looove how Oscar compliments women

[@mollowdickens9357]

I think it's not a must to have your heart broken. However everybody who has risen from a heart break is a victor. They get out of the other side with wisdom.

[@user-qf9qd8pl8b]

I feel like people could have their heart broken in the relationship and still have the relationship. An example in the context of, when there's a shift of character which is new and you guys have to adjust to it and it's not as comfortable cause in some way one of you is trying to fight it and there's lack of enough communication since you're afraid to express yourself too that can lead to some heartbreaks in the relationship. It doesn't have to be heartbroken when a relationship ends. So i think when Lornzie was telling Eli he needs to get one. The moment you're in love with a person those tuheartbreaks za you're hurt in the relationship can happen and you can grow in that.

[@elsieatieno4421]

Different but good propositions I am sure there is everything for everyone, bring Benjamin Zulu to the show, he has a heart for young people and a very interesting perspective.

[@gracy7714]

Oscar’s heartbreak story is deep , having to work through removing the fantasies and routine from your head 😭

[@amerudi111]

44 year old subby female for context. My divorce was baptism of fire 33 pregnant 7 months and with a little 3 year old. Weh. That was the end of relationships for me 🤣. Perhaps later when my kids are independent

[@marthakayongo]

I have also never had my heart broken.

[@athenavalarieekirapa7281]

Love that watching these is part of my Thursday ritual 😍

[@petronillahpyt1511]

I don't know if it's because I am a pisces but I really relate with Jules it's crazy😮😮😮😮😮😮

[@shaniramsale5324]

Maskini, Eli. You are outnumbered. However, although I am on team heat broken, I hear you. You may actually end up in a beautiful relationship without being heart broken. Haya maisha hayana formula. Pia, ni sawa kuoperate by faith. I know a handful of people who made the decision that their next relationship would be their last na ikawa.

[@ivynyambura8384]

Why do I feel that this is a heated conversation 😂

[@wangarikariuki6522]

What is heartbreak? I would like to think that when one is in a relationship, you're in it, fully committed and like this person more than most other people. Also, love to me is a journey (with ups and downs) and not this mushy feeling many people describe as love. No, I dont think everyone has to undergo heartbreak, for one to be in a great relationship that works. You can do the work on yourself to be a better person for your partner, without undergoing heartbreak. I have never been heartbroken, but have been in previous relationships, with my current one being of 15yrs

[@mugenigrace46]

i never had a heart break too, now i'm scared 😱

[@lindajeptoo2558]

Some marry their high school sweethearts, so heartbreak isn't necessary

[@barnettedavids7653]

Marrying your high school sweetheart doesn't mean you've never been heartbroken

[@shelmithneri7653]

Loved it even before I watched ....always a great duo

[@nutritiongalore]

Man Talk are doing a great job! Am hooked!

[@sonienjiru2149]

Finally 💃

[@Haise8]

The fact that there is a rockhead here aheeeem #clearsthroat was the icing on the cake

[@lile_8266]

I am a woman and like Eli, I have also never been heartbroken.

[@dianamusita8981]

Wow Oscar wow....

[@waugifarm3627]

Oscar are we togeza 😁😁😁

[@Sugarbella10]

Always love this collabo❤️

[@sharonnjuguna8778]

Imagine I gerrit eli I also know i will die if I go through a heartbreak........ 😂😂😂😂😂............