Mark Kermode reviews "Star Wars: Phantom Menace 3D" (complete version)

[@My_Legs_Hurt]

Star Wars the Phantom Menace is the most disappointing thing since my son

[@mansnotbot4160]

The Catholic priest said the same thing about your son.

[@Doughty321]

My legs hurt Endless trash!

[@nunatak123]

Did he drive a car into a Taco Bell?

[@mattgilbert7347]

Bad midiclorians.

[@BlielPol]

I clapped, because I got the reference!

[@luckyjosh7]

Mark Kermode is the key to all this. We have to make sure we get him right. Because he's a funnier film critic than we've ever had.

[@mikenewbold1699]

apart from your mum when she tried to abort you

[@theautisticnebula]

William Friedkin fell asleep and snored throughout ... hahahahahahaha

[@SIGNIFYING_NOTHING]

"In the year of the blingdy blong and the nadra throng." 1:47 "Greek Bailout..." 1:56

[@glensirett1309]

FrazAFC94 The Greek Bailout comment is why I keep watching this video

[@Casarzino]

FrazAFC94 why? it's hilarious lol

[@scottwilliam3470]

roggeray I lost my shit when he said that.

[@TimeandMonotony]

I completely lost it at that.

[@jlennon1981]

The first five seconds of this review says it all. Kermode nails it.

[@blueskiesabove3950]

“Ja Ja Binks was insurmountable”...... My aching sides 🤣

[@Powderwombat]

The Phantom Menace in 3D sounds like an actual living nightmare.

[@therookpiece]

It was...!

[@Voeris1]

Pod race and space fighting was fun AF

[@FredFuchs77]

The best release is the Phantom Menace in zero D

[@merrimac291]

thumbs up if Kermode's review of the Phantom Menace is better than the Phantom Menace.

[@gregjordan38]

Cheers mate, will give it a watch

[@georgemorley1029]

I watched The Phantom Menace on a pirated VHS round at my mate's house, way back when it was just about to be released. It was like most pirated copies; grainy and scratchy, with a wobbly bleached out image, but you could make out what was going on, by and large. I thought to myself, "when the film comes out next week, I'll be able to see all the good things about this that I've missed in this copy". I went to the cinema the week after and sat through it again. I yearned to at least be back in my mate's house, because there had at least been beer and pizza in that situation.

[@RaikenXion]

Thats funny cause I also watched it on pirated vhs but rnd my cousin's house. Then the following week we went to our local cinema and it came dwn to a choice between watching Phantom Menace and Dr Doolitle 2, and agreed to watch DR D2 but I really wanted to see ep1 on the big screen and DRD2 was boring.

[@georgemorley1029]

Raiken Xion And yet you still spent the evening watching the better movie. You really did.

[@RaikenXion]

George Morley lol, I like phantom menace, I get the story, yeh Jar Jar was cheesy but overall I get whats going on in that movie, and in my eyes Phantom Menace still has THE best lightsaber duel out the whole saga (so far).

[@johnemsley2893]

I had the same experience with Avatar

[@Blartyboy]

"By the late 1990s, George Lucas had made so much money from his star wars franchise that it seemed he would never need to work again, and could retire with his era-defining trilogy (mostly) safely intact in the affections of the global public consciousness. Then his tax bill arrived..." -from witterpedia

[@RossKempOnYourMum01]

Jar Jar Binks in 3D - what a terrifying prospect.

[@IamSpeedster120]

It was a good thing this movie was made in 3d or actually existed. Why? It was the birth of Screen Junkies Honest Trailers!

[@npotash]

"The Artist is so much not as good as all the other films we've seen this week, like Jack & Jill. Jack & Jill is in color, therefore it is better than the Artist- and it has sound!" I was crying with laughter.

[@squamish4244]

Thirteen years ago, watching the movie in the theatre, as soon as I read "the taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute" I got this sinking feeling...

[@Spaceman2921]

I'm glad you shared that with us.

[@guitarreilly]

not even 3D could make the characters in this film three dimensional

[@JamesCarmichael]

Last words of the video "I want my money back." I think that sums t up really.

[@aerialkate]

I was lucky enough to see the original Star Wars at the flicks when it first came out. I was a kid so I don't think others can appreciate how magical it was for us back then. It was fucking awesome. I saw the first prequel and was surprised at how angry I felt towards it. It was that fucking bad.

[@rundosrun5432]

aerialkate I envy you very much, that must have been an amazing experience. I've grown up being surrounding by this prequel nonsense, and now hearing people of my generation defend these cinematic turds because 'they're part of my childhood, I grew up with them'. I grew up with them. They were awful when they first came out, and they are still awful now.

[@aerialkate]

Run Dos Run Take comfort in the fact that you have something called taste!

[@rundosrun5432]

Thank you, good Madame!

[@aerialkate]

Run Dos Run I'm a good lady. The perpetual swearing confuses people...

[@rundosrun5432]

I've now edited my comment. More my fault for being such a moronic nerd that I didn't look at your profile name! My apologies.

[@yashwiniozur8581]

"From my point of view the Jedi are evil." Yeah sure, shakespearean my ass.

[@KRSsven]

+Death Valley 'Yet having no actual moral, political or personal reason for me to think this...I'm Darth Vader, you know!'

[@Gadget-Walkmen]

@@KRSsven is that somewhere because it sounds like it. Yeah the dialogue is rough at but I still love episode 3 despite the flaws.

[@Gadget-Walkmen]

@@KRSsven Besides there are reasons for why he thinks that if you look closer to the plot.

[@frankmerker630]

I always thought it was too lofty of a comparison. Shakespeare was at least elegant and clever with how he worded the dialogue. For Lucas, it’s just a stripped down description of the story boarding

[@TheToonMonkey]

I remember watching TPM before it came out in the cinema. There was a dodgy copy doing the rounds a few weeks before (had a funny green 'z' floating around the edge of the screen for those that remember). When we'd finished watching it, I figured that the film must have seemed bad only because the quality of the copy was so poor, so we went to the cinema for the 'true experience'. Imagine my surprise when it was was even worse the second time around!

[@DeckyStrikesBack]

You're right. Mr Plinketts review of all three prequels are brilliant viewing.

[@Gadget-Walkmen]

fuck them and fuck that, and fuck that guy.

[@vgrepairs]

Gay. You value the opinion of a fictional fat nerd?

[@Foebane72]

I recommend that Star Wars be seen as Eps. 4-6, and THEN 1-3 IF you want the background.

[@jonaskoelker]

My recommended viewing order is 4... Then 5 and 6.

[@joecantdance494]

I absolutely fell completely for the hype being a life long fan... The build up to it, the trailers, the fans... And then the crushing disappointment....

[@philipmarsh2172]

"No, George! NO!"

[@detectiveschitz]

Very nice video! Thank you for putting this up.

[@MrCozdude]

Loved this review.

[@ewaf88]

My then girlfriend took me to see it in 1999. It was so embarrassing when the lights came on at the end. There was some applause but only because fans were trying to hide their disappointment. I was more concerned that someone I knew might spot me. It was terrible.

[@ardenaudreyarji]

8:31 Message to George Lucas from the entire human race.

[@odinssverd]

My sister who is 20, is seeing it for the first time today. I watched some of it again, and only got from it an appreciation of John Williams's genius, and a fond memory of the N64 pod racer game.

[@RaikenXion]

I liked ep1, but yeh the pod racer game was awesome, took me ages to clock that game, I mean a good few yrs I worked on that gamne on and off. If by today's standards would get a platinum trophy for completing that. I worked up all my pod racers too, got all the parts.

[@odinssverd]

haha. impressive! credit where credit's due.

[@RaikenXion]

odinssverd Hey have you seen Rogue One yet?

[@odinssverd]

No, I have not, been busy. Looking forward to it.

[@RaikenXion]

odinssverd I hope you enjoy it :)

[@blokey8]

Ironically, Mark's rants mean that there's an aspect of the rereleases which I'm looking forward to- him setting about these prequels like a lunatic with a chainsaw.

[@sulijoo]

Mark Hamill was recently interviewed at a premiere. He said that Star Wars was a "beginning, middle and end to a story". I took that to be a rebuke of the stupid prequels. And he is indeed correct. Any story, whether it is in a book, play or film is a snapshot in time; a segment of an infinite time-line stretching forward into the future and backward into the past. The outside of this snapshot consists entirely of back-story. Back-story - except in the case of biographical works - should never _be_ the main story. Only idiots like George Lucas think otherwise. He actually thinks _one line of dialogue_ in Star Wars _"Did you fight in the clone wars?_" justified the birth of a whole new set of films. No, George. No!

[@davidfgranger]

I don't even think the second and third films were strictly necessary, since the third one just repeats the ending of the first. That said, Empire Strikes Back is the only really great film in the Star Wars series.

[@artychris25]

Episodes 1-3 would have been interesting as a single movie, and if directed by a more modern and talented film-maker. I make the same arguments with The Matrix Reloaded/The Matrix Revolutions, and the recent Hobbit trilogy. It's Hollywood getting their money's worth.

[@Onmysheet]

At least The Matrix Reloaded had some great scenes.

[@richardburchett]

Yes, you can't just flesh out backstory and have a compelling story. But to go a little further, I think it would have been possible to do the films with a compelling story within that backstory and they would have been great. He could have developed the characters or focused on the relationships between them and made something new and interesting. Titanic was a success because it's not just a two hour movie about a ship sinking. We already knew that would happen. There would be no point if that were the only story, but the movie works because within the story there are characters and a new between them.

[@KSRugby]

+sulijoo there were no problems with him making the prequel films, but it was the way they were made! They were just all so bad, boring and sloppy! the prequels lost site of everything that made the originals work: the simplicity of the story and the characters, the stop motion and handmade special effects, the gritty lived in universe and the fun of it all! The prequels just are full of boring dialogue and characters, uninteresting stories and camera work, flat editing and overrun CGI that looks really obviously CGd, cheap and technically adequate at best.

[@wellingtonboobs7985]

@ up to 5:17 | I'm wondering whether _If_ wouldn't be the superlative masterpiece it is if not for the colour / b&w transitions. It's amusing to hear the artistic explanations for why the change occurs. I wonder about the disappointment that must be felt on learning that the changeovers were down to nothing more artistically mysterious or meaningful than budgetary issues.

[@scottwilliam3470]

how feel you.

[@BenJGrice]

6:45 Simon: "I don't recall this, this what you're telling me, that I remember that I heard from the moment that the film came out that it wasn't terrible." So funny when you listen to it on repeat

[@warlockofwordsreturnsrb4358]

'Muppets in Space' was the last criticism Kevin Smith ever made of Star Wars, in public.

[@codyhoskins1319]

The whole crawl about the taxation of trade routes definitely threw me off the first time I saw it in the cinema at age 12. I couldn't understand one word of it until the word Jedi Knights showed up in the last paragraph and I'm not sure if anyone else that age or older could either. I didn't know what the Jedi were doing on that ship at the beginning, couldn't follow the whole scheme with Darth Sidious, or pay attention to what Queen Amidala was discussing with her staff and fellow diplomats. If Lucas made it for kids and knew kids would dominate the audience, he should have put a story in there that they could grasp because even now as an adult, I can see that the whole taxation issue is so irrelevant to the rest of the movie. It has no weight at all on the conflict that ensues and is only ever brought up at the Senate hearing but it's not a problem to resolve when the plot gets so muddled with everyone going on the run from one planet to another, Jar Jar getting into trouble, the Sith constantly plotting to make their move, and a little boy getting initiated into Jedi-hood after winning a lengthy race. It's laughable that a tax dispute is what lays the groundwork for all that baggage to fall into place.

[@TheConciseStatement]

"Greek bailout"

[@scottwilliam3470]

It opens with the thing which says in the year of the blingdy blong and the naverth thong

[@meh20knm]

This along with the Taken review are my favourite.

[@Onmysheet]

The prequels probably would've worked if Lucas had took a step back in the writing process. All he had to do was bring in some writers and director(s), tell them "it has to have that, it has to have this" and just work alone as executive producer.

[@frankmerker630]

And in handling the visuals, someone to convince him that cgi isn’t good enough and won’t be for decades to fabricate the entire environment convincingly and will age horribly

[@benny4700]

He never had it. He was given credit for the creativity of other men

[@knownpleasures]

My favourite of the Star Wars , brilliant movie

[@DavyDredd14]

You should be a Stand-Up Comedian.

[@lordhoot1]

Ha, he goes to the same multiplex as me. I saw Safe House at the Vue Eastleigh last weekend. It wasn't great, but at least it wasn't in 3D

[@leebone1]

I dont think the phantom menace or any of the prequels were terrible by any means. However this is because I look at the prequels in a completely different lense than i do the original. And i have read the novels EXTENSIVELY. The prequels to me have always been great because of the different philosophical standpoint. its much more political and moral question based which you only really get if you've read the novels. While the original trilogy is much more traditional good vs evil.

[@thetrailermaker1]

the 'luke i am your ...' bit will just not be the same if 1, 2, 3 are realised in 3d first.

[@mattgilbert7347]

He's wrong about the prequels but right about 3D. See "In Defence of the Star Wars Prequels" by Chris Cutrone. It's on KZbin, read by the author. Short essay.

[@Goochbot]

No problem.

[@TheOnlyCathyCat]

You know what? That bit about George Lucas saying he thought of the films as a launchpad for the children to go and make stories with their toys has rinsed away the final lingering disappointment I have for Star Wars. It reminded me of me and my friends using teaspoons to dig trenches and "bases" for our Star Wars and Action Force and A-Team figures that existed together in one universe "out the front" as the patch of grass in front of our square of houses was called. It reminded me how much I loved that Ewok film and the cartoons of Droids and The Ewoks, because it wasn't until I was a little older that Star Wars would be played at Christmas by, I think, Central Telvision... by that time I had moved on to Transformers...and then Thundercats and then TMNT and then Jungle Music and TWOC-ing ...and then life, children of my own who made their own adventures with their toys and Minecraft. ... Its better to play and invent than to watch and consume.

[@si2foo]

i cant think of a prequel i have liked can you i dont think it is just limited to star wars

[@gregjordan38]

Im still gonna go for Lucas there mate. Re release after re release. Your post didnt change my opinion at all

[@TheBaron701]

Good film

[@oldlogin3383]

"Greek bailout"!!! :)

[@wellingtonboobs7985]

@ up to 7:25 | Brings back fond memories of renting out a VHS with red/blue spectacles to watch Freddy Krueger die in a sawyer's view-master. Spoiler alert: don't worry; heeeee's baaaack (franchise film numbers give it away too).

[@Casarzino]

Greek bailout

[@KSRugby]

phantom menace is one of the prime examples of an acoounting book aimed at children, as well as exploiting the popularity of the star wars name to make as much money as possible. there are so many characters, n CGI stuff thrown in and just dumped onto screen who serve no purpose to anything other than to pander at the kids and to sell toys. The only things in phantom menace that serve any relivance to the overall star wars saga story are palpatine being elected chancellor and obi-won meeting anakin. Both things have no development nor coherance and last no longer than 5 minutes in the film.

[@nightw4tchman]

3:53 The Natalie Portman and Kiera Knightley thing... Holy fuck I'd even forgotten about that. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT?

[@ammorreztristar]

The Phantom Menace was utter tripe !And who could forget that monstrosity which was 'Jar Jar Binks '.Utter shite !!!

[@frkendings5181]

ammorreztristar l😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

[@Onmysheet]

In the making of, Lucas thought Jar Jar Binks would be a funny character to use. That sums it all up lol

[@ammorreztristar]

ALL the star wars movie are utter tripe i think !

[@ghonxjc8417]

Well any hopes of seeing the classic movies in 3D, have gone out the window since Disney has cancelled all plans of 3D conversion.

[@gorillapancake]

Sounds like he liked it.

[@AndersHass]

the funny thing is George Lucas was against colorization when he was young and a guy you actually cared about

[@dedo2992]

The phantom menace was the first star wars movie i watched & i was stunned because the movie was mush mush better than the negative reaction it got.

[@paulzenco6182]

Lucas thought Jar Jar was a very funny character. The success of the original trilogy was not because Lucas’ work, but his collaborators

[@AwsumessPrime14]

The critic Mark Kermode was from Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments. ):D

[@TKDLION]

The trailer for Phantom Menace was better than the Phantom Menace. I would rather watch the trailer over and over for two hours.

[@craighicksartwork]

Anakin says "Yippee!" once.

[@alephnull5241]

I phase locked on the phrase said somewhere in the middle of the review: "muppets". Exactly, TFM is exactly muppets. no better.

[@markbarrett4440]

Kermode is on fire here, the more irritated he gets with Lucas's financial avarice the funnier he gets.

[@BackyardPix]

My take on the prequels is that, yeah, they are BAD films - but that's it. They're just shitty films that I will never watch again. Fine. But what Lucas did to the original trilogy with his special editions, now that's something worth getting mad about. Not making the theatrical versions accessible is just pure rape and destruction of culture and art. Sure, people like me who care about stuff like this can watch the real versions via the despecialized editions, but we shouldn't fucking have to. Let people choose if they want to watch the culturally and historically significant original versions, or the special ed monstrosities. Don't be a revisionist devil.

[@tombutler6451]

Didn’t see it in 3D & I don’t think there was any need re release them in that format but the film is nowhere near as bad as Mark is saying!

[@fightingirish5755]

Sad to see all the vicious hate against the Phantom Menace, a child's movie essentially btw. I saw it in the cinema when I was 9 and to this day it stands as one of my fondest childhood memories and I still think its brilliant in many aspects.

[@joshhunt4146]

Fighting Irish I was 9 also when I first saw it and loved it at the time. However as I have gotten older I have realised how bad it is. I still watch it on (very rare) occasions but only to laugh and cringe

[@69crafty]

Mark Kermode is so funny. I totally agree with everything he says about The Phantom Menace because it's bollocks.

[@StefanRuzicka]

That's not really saying much now is it?

[@sulijoo]

The whole concept of a movie prequel is flawed, because essentially back-story has no end; it's just a product of human imagination, like the story itself. The only people who need to be aware of back-story are the actors, to help them understand their characters. Back-story never has deserved to be on screen; prequels are only used as a cynical ploy to extract as much money from gullible fans as possible.

[@grooveyerbouti]

"He's a sledge"

[@supersatanic]

Damn... Mark really tore this one apart.

[@leumasnonnahs348]

9:45 Good Job

[@rickrivethead]

Mayos right about the twist spoiler in the recent movies about luke being darth vaders son, but also princess leia mensions vaguely remembering her mother in Return of the jedi, er.... didnt she die when she was born in Return of the Sith?, The recent movies all seem a waste of time and money to me, and dont seem to have been thought out before hand!

[@questionitall3053]

Like watching a European parliament meeting. How true.

[@NoMastersNoMistress]

I haven't even seen any of the Star Wars film since the Phantom Mess... personally, I've written Lucas off.

[@ixat00]

"McGeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

[@jedieco23]

I don't understand this stupid obsession with the tax thing. It's barely mentioned at the beginning and doesn't really matter for the story but gave it a very realistic political setting. Chill out and stop yelling.

[@glassmuxxic]

Tom cruise as R2D2

[@leebone1]

Look i do not agree with that statement made by mr Stoklasa. it requires the right context. The prequels make sense when you combine it with material from other media (except the love scenes... seriously those really did suck) I'm not telling anyone else to like it for that reason. In fact i know im one of the very few. But i just have my reasons for liking it (other than the special effects) just like you have a reason for not liking it. You get that right?

[@mrpepre]

STAR WARS RIP

[@KSRugby]

jar jar binks is the only character in the film that makes any kind of sense! hes the only one with a character arc! he goes from an outcast to bombad general of his species in the film!

[@theunusualsuspectstv]

'Greek bail out...'

[@gooddog2001]

THE PHANTOM MENANCE is the best of the three prequels. And I liked DARTH MAUL as a villian. I liked the film.

[@ra83clement]

lucus has been changing things in the star wars films since their first cinema release. in a new hope jabba the hutt was a fat man .....in return of the jedi he was a creature......!

[@DMEB]

i like the simpsons galactic wars parody.

[@DexterDexter123]

On the loss of the twist. You’re quite right but something else happens that is a slower more insidious burner that I hadn’t realised till I watched it with my kids. Knowing who Darth is and then seeing him treat his kids like that effected my children deeply. It’s not the same shock but it’s still there. Ps. They liked the new ones better than the originals. Pps What do kids know?

[@MrOnomatopoiea]

@glassmuxxic: Hey, that's not a bad idea...

[@JMUDoc]

Just watch the Darth Maul fight on KZbin.

[@Gadget-Walkmen]

basically yeah.

[@DogsBAwesome]

3D never makes a movie better, you can only get poked in the eye with a spear so many times before it gets trying.

[@jimcameron1234]

brian whittle not true, 3D made TITANIC even a better masterpiece

[@questionitall3053]

George Lucas obviously had tax problems at the time of penning this tripe

[@Spaceman2921]

What? The fanboys are the people who love those reviews the most. All real Starwars fanboys think that Lucas is the antichrist.

[@Kayem967]

The second trilogy was badly done. But no one recognises that the plot itself was excellent throughout and was worthy as predecessors to the latter three. It was quite a dark storyline. The characterisation of plot and character was excellent. Unfortunately, it was terribly directed. But, ian mcdiarmad deserves serious recognition amongst star wars fans as an excellent portrayal as palpetine and macgregor did an excellent job too underneath a childish production.

[@SIGNIFYING_NOTHING]

1:56 "Greek bailout" XD

[@si2foo]

nah not that george has never had touch with them he had nothing to rip off of i mean the original star wars is the simple story of the hero the wise old man the rogue then princess who is indanger and r2d2 and c3po are the comic relief

[@Goochbot]

I never seen the prequels, but then again, I never really liked episodes IV-VI, so I don't see what I could get from it.