If You Have Family Like This, RUN!

[@georgiamaguire692]

The church needs this teaching desperately. In laws are very manipulative and they think they have a say. To the point where a lot of people children especially are casualties of it.

[@justyeeeeeetit]

This week, i cut off my narcissistic mother and sister. They always are trying to manipulate me in their daily dramas, and im done. I dont want to live in their world of drama and anger! Its crazy too because i became born again 1 month ago. And God is already working in my life to remove people who aren't in alignment with his will. Praise be to the highest god 🙏 ❤

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yes. With some people, you just have to choose to love some people from a distance and pray and fast for them as the Holy Spirit leads you to. I pray your strength in the Lord in Jesus' name. The joy of the Lord IS YOUR STRENGTH. I pray thar YOU choose to know, trust, and believe that God truly does love and care for you AND SO DO I IN JESUS' NAME. NO MATTER WHAT. AMEN. ❤❤❤

[@yohanesliong4818]

Praise Yahuah!

[@DainKeith]

The LORD sent this man to me through KZbin

[@florpdorp7190]

Same

[@RicardoRivera-rd5wn]

Fr tho

[@painlesstragedy]

@DainKeith was it LORD VADER?

[@cobito9301]

Yes!! ❤

[@blam9360]

Same!

[@TinaLee-s6r]

Things got ugly when I finally set boundaries, but boy Im Glad I did it

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray your strength in the Lord IN JESUS' NAME. AMEN. God truly does love and care for you, and so do I. Take your time in it. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH. AMEN. ❤❤❤

[@LisaLove1113-p6k]

I Love you, pastor, and you're beautiful wife. I have cut off my mom and siblings at 62. I have been through so much trauma, especially from the mom. What I have learned through years of therapy is I was the SCAPEGOAT of the family and this was the most damaging to me growing up with dyslexia I was made fun by everyone in my family and dropped out of school in the 9th grade. Many years of drugs and horrible choices I realized that the mom has been on a smear campaign my whole life. The mom is a Narcissist who tells everyone that I'm a looser at 62. This is the best reason to cut this family out of my life. I asked Jesus in to my life November 13th 1992

[@ljohn3239]

God bless you!!!

[@flemutter7211]

Welcome to the flock. Same boat but much younger than you, and a male. The smear campaign has been going on your whole life!

[@TJamison]

When I married my wife her house is next door to her parents house and grandfathers house on five acres. I was aware of Leave & Cleave when we were dating, but this arrangement of close family seemed great and it was great…until it wasn’t. Now I’m going through separation and was escorted off my property by my father in law. I mentioned Leave & Cleave to my wife and was quickly told that verse is only for men. 😢. I know our marriage is salvageable and is being hindered by my extended family.

[@jentbotbfa]

So good! Guard your heart. It is talked about numerous times in the Bible. Not everyone should have a seat at your table.

[@cortneykathleen]

Everything you’re explaining reminds me of that show Everybody loves Raymond, where his parents live next-door. Funny show but definitely shows the dysfunction that goes on and most families. Btw, out of all the pastors and wives I watch on KZbin. You guys have got to be the cutest couple out of them all. Stay blessed.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Thank you for this. Sometimes when toxic is your family culture, breaking free is complicated because you’re so emeshed.

[@lorib7072]

I’m so glad to see you addressing this issue. As a new subscriber I continue to be impressed! I have been challenged by this very topic for over 30 years from my family, my ex husband, my child and my next set of in-laws. God really gave me some great lessons and I’m happy to say that I met them each as they arose with His help ♥️ It wasn’t easy to walk away and lose everyone I lost along the way but I gained so much more in the end. There will always be a little bit of sorrow in my heart for the way things “could” have been but I know that God didn’t put me here to be abused. “Honour thy mother and father,..?” Well,. The way I can do that is to thank God that I have been nothing like her,.. I’m a recovering Roman Catholic and I know Jesus has always walked with me through my trials. All of the narcissists in my wake have collectively joined together but? I am free! A favourite quote I’ve seen was-“You have to become SO free that you’re very existence is an act of rebellion.” God bless you and Merry Christmas! Thank you!

[@sherryturcotte9360]

That’s called tough love 💕 I did that to my son and he turned his life around because he was ready from his own heart not because he was pressured

[@ckb6752]

When I was growing up, my parents and brother were highly toxic to me. When I turned 20 I ran!!! I joined the Army, met my husband of 25 years and had 2 kids. We have grown strong in our faith and knowledge together bcause we only had each other to rely on. Our only son who is 21 has become a video game addict. He has become toxic to us. He has turned his back to us but worse he has turned his back to God. He is a full time truck driver and lives in his truck. His job feeds his addiction. I am so ashamed of him. This time of year is hard because it will be our first Christmas without him but I'm thankful his toxicity will not be around us. I have grieved over him for a year now. I've given him over to God to deal with. Sometimes you have to let them go and pray that the Lord will have His way with them. We raised him right, homeschooled him, he was on fire for the Lord and when he went to college the devil got a strong grip on him. Now he has become the toxic family member. We guard our hearts but as his parents we will always be here for him when he's ready to get help.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Hmmmmmm. There was something you mentioned in your comment that was concerning to me. There were a few things actually but one thing was quite concerning to me and that is when you said that you were ashamed of him. Why is that? EVERYONE fall shorts of the glory of God and makes mistakes. So why should you be ashamed or feel shame by that. EVERYONE makes mistakes and that includes in our parenting style at times. Absolutely NO ONE is perfect and that is okay. Stop downing his name and character to everyone. Choose to be patient with him and try showing him genuine love, patience, and respect. This teaching is not to be used as a form of some type of weapon. It is to be used to help you know how to move through an issue like this if you are dealing with it. That is it, and that is all. We are NOT to use this teaching as a way to pat ourselves on our backs, lifts ourselves up, gives ourselves some type of reward or award, or puts ourselves on some type of pedestal. I pray that YOU choose to truly grow in God's love, patience, mercy, grace, discernment, wisdom, insight, and perspective in regards to ALL things IN JESUS' NAME. AMEN. ❤❤❤

[@ckb6752]

@@ladennayoung2939 I appreciate your response but I am ashamed of him for dishonoring our Lord in heaven. He knows the truth and has turned very far away from it. Ever heard of the alphabet committee? He's part of them now. They slander Gods Holy Name and he laughs. God is very clear in scripture what happens to mockers and scoffers. I will never accept his behavior. And I am allowed to judge him because he claimed to be a brother in Christ. I struggle every day with forgiveness. You have no right to judge me with only half of the facts. I do not slander his name because I'm so embarrassed with what he has become!

[@Sui_generis07]

Great book, When to Walk Away!!! Helping me so much!

[@lo-ul8nq]

Thank you Pastor Mark

[@shashawnadaniel7844]

I’m so happy I came across your teachings when I did! We had both families being very involved in our marriage. We have 3 children and one daughter that is about to be married and I’m so glad to learn about this. Thank you so much. We certainly want them to have a healthy relationship with them .

[@b.d.128]

I'm trying. I'm far away, homeless, left a good business. Without support everything Mark is saying is terrifying. It costs a bunch of money to leave a disfunctional codependent family. Flat tire? Need a ride? Car trouble ? Help moving furniture? It's all out. People in society treat escapees differently too. Lots of excluding and feeling ostracized. Money helps. When you arrive in a new place far away. Nobody wants to help and you have no idea who to trust.

[@flemutter7211]

Very true. Same boat cos I’m a man. Trust Christ first and attend to your physical health. Many doors open from there. You are a woman and you are masters of social situations and should be able to build new friendships. Don’t tell everyone your situation.

[@b.d.128]

@@flemutter7211 I am a man,and it's still terrifying. I've left before. The mistake I made was returning. I was pointing out that preachers don't offer much actual application. And I do agree don't tell anyone. I've had people take me to the food pantry and treat me like a charity case. These were local men who have never done anything challenging or scary in their lives. Very few can understand. Be a warrior brother.

[@theverystones2643]

This reset concept sounds quite useful in the church environment I’m in; I’ve tried addressing issues in ministry that the leadership is totally failing to address on a continual basis, and it’s bordering on abusive, but taking a time out to see if they respond may be a way forward

[@samanthahardy1443]

Some of what you said describes my mother in law perfectly. She has absolutely no respect for our boundaries and she is constantly giving us unsolicited opinions when it comes to financial things. She "invites" us to family events and holiday gatherings, but they aren't invitations with her. They are requirements. If we tell her we can't attend for whatever reason, she will act pitiful and use emotional manipulation to try to force us to come. Back before Thanksgiving my husband and I were out for a very special dinner date and my brother and sister in law were in town staying at a hotel nearby. She called my husband and asked if we could meet her over there to visit them. We said no that we were having dinner and we were busy. She then keeps messaging him and she even thought about coming to the restaurant and interrupting our dinner to force us to interact. My husband was irritated but we wound up going over there. I have tried talking to him about this, but he just gets defensive and says that I am on a hate campaign against his mother. He falls for her lies and manipulation all the time. I also tried to talk to her about it numerous times, but she dislikes me and never wanted us to get married anyway, so it does no good. Recently I found out that she sends my husband messages that are not kind about me and he still puts up with it. I want to cut off contact with this woman, but my husband will never agree to it. It feels like he always chooses her over me and what is best for our marriage.

[@steventrypuc7909]

Keep it up, sir, and ma’am.

[@steventrypuc7909]

This stuff hits home. I personally have disliked holidays my entire life due to the tolerance of behaviors. Didn’t know there was a better way. I always thought it was ministry to “suck it up”.

[@airplane800]

The family structure and values in the US are very different than other countries. In the US you can get a job at 18, have roommates and get an apartment. In a lot of countries salaries are very low and rent is very high. People that have help from families have much more chance in life. An American reporter went to Italy to do an interview with people between 22-32 years old that still lived with their parents. She went there to mock them but at the end she figured out that they were loved and happy. She said at the end " Can you adopt me". I know a guy that lived with his parents until he was 27 and was saving money to buy a house. He got married at 28 and gave a 40% downpayment on a house. At 32 his house was paid. I think many people are jealous of those who are loved by their families. A Romanian pastor said that he was happy when the country was open for the Gospel, but everything bad from the US got there faster and bigger. The family values were destroyed in a few years, divorced increased, and many families were destroyed.

[@elizabethmeyers1677]

We need prayer please so much 😢😢

[@loganross1861]

Really thankful

[@SarahB-vn1bu]

Very helpful 20 minutes, thank you

[@cm6133]

My husband doesn’t see his very controlling mother for who she is. She doesn’t respect me as the mother to my children and doesn’t respect our boundaries. They won’t even sit down and talk to us about them because in their words, “ don’t want to have a list of things they can and can’t do as grandparents.” It is damaging to our marriage but don’t want my husband thinking I am trying to keep him from his parents. It is so hard and I don’t know what to do! My mother on the other hand is a whole other ball game!

[@Timbertrussminifarm]

What about when your husband REFUSES TO cut off his narcissistic mother & tells you that’s not a part of “leave & cleave”….even tho it is destroying your marriage? She has made horrible comments to me & his family literally lied about his mom being on her deathbed..in order to manipulate my husband to get him to visit.

[@lorib7072]

I just stood my ground and refused to go into situations where they would be and I picked and chose my own situations with them. It’s not easy but? It’s doable. Hang in there, they are dead now so although it was extremely difficult-it’s over 🫤 It took awhile but they finally exposed themselves for who they were and we did limit our interactions with them ‘together’,. I will add you and everyone else who is in this situation to my prayers 🙏🏻♥️

[@Sarah_Inspired7]

I was in the same situation, his mother would call him every week especially while he was at work. I saw that his conversations with her were toxic so I asked you choose between her or myself and our 2 children, and actually his entire family included because come to find out his sister is the same- manipulative. They were trying to force him to begin a relationship with his ex's daughter (questionable if she's his) which he is not ready for. His mom did end up in the hospital and they called him, when she had him on the phone she brought up the "daughter". I asked him to let me talk to her and I asked her: did you pray before doing all this (trying to get him to do what she wants)? She proceeded to call me the devil so I hung up on her. Since then we moved to another state further from them and we haven't let them know. His dad called my dad to ask him if in fact we had moved. They're scary! We're just waiting for an apology and for them to acknowledge that they crossed the line. I had my husband write to them several months ago explaining how he felt because he never had hence the manipulation. They have our address and haven't written back. His mother and later his father, abandoned their children when my husband was 8 yrs old in their country which led to my husband getting sexually molested by the help in his grandmother's care. His parents want to make up for lost time but it's too late, he's a married adult. Due to this trauma? my husband has rejected JESUS and I'm still having issues with him because he is narcissistic like his mother. I have asked him to go with them but he says he doesn't have the courage to do so. He's currently in rehab here on our property and I gave him an ultimatum- either do the work to change his attitude or leave and cleave to his family although it seems that emotionally he still is? I ain't having that - LORD forbid. Praying for you and prayers appreciated as well. 🙏🏼

[@lorib7072]

@@Sarah_Inspired7 I’m praying for you also

[@chisanainoris5364]

Sounds all too familiar! Then they involve the children which is even worse.

[@lorib7072]

@@chisanainoris5364 yes, and then they indoctrinate them into the same pattern as well. 🫤

[@TruthWillprevail13]

Lord only you know the burdens I face give me strength to get through this Christmas. I am a single mom and it can be hard to have everything on your shoulders and receive very little support. Both of my sons are autistic they require so much from me. I’m struggling to provide for them. But I keep faith even as I struggle to pay rent every month and as I struggle to buy groceries. My health is also fading due to heart disease and lupus. Jesus please help me to find strength when I am weak, hope when I am struggling, and peace in the midst of chaos. I have faith God will provide. 😢

[@dubyredburndarling6334]

Be careful! This is a scam. It's on every Christian channel I've been to. Don't give them money!

[@MLTDPT]

Wow! Fantastic!

[@petacountryman2166]

This was amazing I love watching you together❤️🎄

[@brandiehopkins3538]

You're killing me Mark 😆😭....it's R.C Sproul chalkboard lessons with an updated visual 😅

[@warriormom5843]

💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️

[@kathleenmatteo6601]

Can you please address the reverse? When do you fight for a prodigal child and when do you cut off?

[@lorib7072]

I had to let go 20 years ago and realize that he was in God’s hands and he was essentially God’s child. They come THROUGH us but they are His children and they have their own paths to walk. It’s not an easy thing to accept but it is truly freeing. “Let go and let God” ( A huge trust issue but one done with true faith and trust in God’s will) 🫤

[@homemademiranda]

Any suggestions on when your spouse is an unbeliever and his family is the one causing the divide and he is so used to their behavior that he won’t protect me and our kids from it. And we live next door.

[@scottrawlins8165]

We went to your church waaaaay back in the day..now we two are in the sun belt.....Scott's father is a narc ..I have boundries like yours. Big on boundries..have nooo problems with cut offs.

[@AngelaDyeAngie]

Dear God and Jesus Christ I dearly love you very much in my Hearts 💕 ❤ I Thank you very much Gods and Jesus Christ 🙏 Amen

[@annakhmelev4931]

Very good stuff!!! 🙌🏼

[@creeves6957]

Unless there are licensed psychiatrist or psychologist diagnosing “narcissist and or toxic” people please please refrain from giving your external family members these names. I’m pretty certain you haven’t received your perfection badge as of yet along with myself. “This last commandment I give you, love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus

[@saintkate144]

Disappear but pay their debts first. You work from an assumption that the couple is innocent and healthy. What if they are druggies, in debt and pregnant and still need your financial help? Who cuts who off?

[@JamesBoyle-r1l]

I'm favoured, $60k every weeks! I can now give back to the local community and also support God’s work and church. ❤️❤️❤️

[@CristinaDiaz-b2v]

How did you do it? Do explain please My family have been into series of sufferings lately

[@JamesBoyle-r1l]

I will leave her info below this comment.

[@JamesBoyle-r1l]

She’s Active on What’s apps

[@JamesBoyle-r1l]

507

[@FranziskaHertz]

Great to see you guys talking about her, This woman changed the game for me. I started with just thousand now earning $15k WEEKLY

[@jeanp5395]

No where in the Bible does it teach that parents of grown/married children are EXTENDED family. There needs to be boundaries on abuse, and that can also include the adult married couples abusing their parents. You seem not to focus on that possibility. 🙏✝️

[@freakinnuclearfantasy2511]

It specifically states you leave and cleave, which makes them extended 😅 its in the title of his series.

[@jackiemorrison2661]

It seems like you are focused a lot lately about destroying the family.. Im sad about this

[@JUSTINTIME892]

Not destroying a family. Saving new families

[@turneyjourney]

He is focused on healthy family.

[@painlesstragedy]

it's unchristian to cut away from your family we are suppose to be the light in a dark place family forgives eachother, friends aren't as close as your own flesh and blood. A real family empowers not devours. if families get divided it shouldn't be over you or god. You can change yourself but you can also with the same force learn to adapt, behave and compromise to have peace and respect. It's the truth and love that keeps families together if you are suppose to be samaritan, disciple of GOD that should be your mindset. NOT HATE and separation. Christians are taught to isolate from the enemy, and the enemy inside themselves to have no empathy for the fallen or lost, that's also the wrong mindset to have. you shouldn't be a christian if you don't love people or GOD "Jesus" and all which they of all creeds and colors and nationalities even sexualities now we shouldn't isolate instead we should congregate. be more like JESUS and his mindset stop self worry their is freedom and peace with the Lord. Our God is not a judgemental god he exercises judgement only as a last resort, he loves those who love him mindset. God is always loving his own creations good or evil you are not GOD your a pastor you have no right to judge others especially your own blood. God will judge those you can't forgive even their own kin. God judges only to correct not to destroy, the devil takes those who attach themselves to him and his lifestyle. hating or judging people is just a colorful way of promote prejudice it's a type of pride and racism. The holy Spirit can not be telling you this stuff Mark you have lost a member of your flock I will not follow a wolf in sheeps clothing pastor. I would question your way of thinking Pastor Mark you videos seem around hate, fear, hell and the antichrist rather than about loving jesus and about positive reinforcement of the bible your leaning towards the woe to the wicked medieval style preaching that david did and I think your message is one of confusion and distraction more than education and wisdom. your following the antichrist mindset you just think your in the clear cause in your mind you think you are perfect and can do no wrong. you are foolish you have devoted your time to an idol like everyone else the internet/net. devices of the wicked. you are not perfect if you lack the ability to encourage others you shouldn't be preaching. You are a saboteur of the Kingdom of God. I have nothing really nice to say about you, I've followed you for a few months and thought I liked what you was saying but in the end you will be just another WOLF like me. the only difference is I don't have the blood of sin on my consciousness and hands, Jesus paid the price for me, you idk about he holds pastors to a much higher expectation.

[@flemutter7211]

You haven’t read the Bible well and what Christ says about bringing a sword. Based on the length of your comment you seem to like the sound of your voice.

[@painlesstragedy]

@@flemutter7211 the bible's version of sword means, is, pestilence like famine or plague. it is used usually when god is angry about something a group of mongols insubordination from the jews etc. sword is used to cook the leviathan of the sea in scripture which means that sword means a type of weapon to resemble an actual sword too.

[@painlesstragedy]

@@flemutter7211 umm no. I don't like my voice at all actually. and neither do you that's one thing neither here nor there that we can at least agree on. when u have the gift of discernment you can see thru people who aren't encouraging others with the gospel. just cause he is held to a higher standard doesn't give him the manmade right to encompass hatred or dictate what I do with my own mind or life.

[@painlesstragedy]

@@flemutter7211 ​ @flemutter7211 the sword and leviathan could mean the spiritual warfare the SWORD of Truth which is the word the double edged sword. Don't tell me I don't know the scriptures that is judging it is not man's place to judge eachother haven't you ever herd of the phrase "It's not wise to throw stones from a glass house(s)?"

[@painlesstragedy]

@@flemutter7211 well just cause i'm a christian we think that means we have to change ourselves, act and dress a certain way...talk a certain way see what I am getting at all it means is with our freewill and freedom that Christ gives us we lead under the example of the holy father Jesus Christ and become each day more like him in Spirit or heart. I have to show alot of restraint cause I am ready to receive mostly negative and hurtful comments cause I want to tell people the truth without pushing straight into judgement. the social media expertiment conditions us to do that very thing. When I have to judge someone it's over a good reason. If you don't talk silencing the lies than truth is less often saught. rather bought!

[@creeves6957]

Please Pastor do not call family members, mother in law, father in law, etc TOXIC. This is not Christ like and us very discouraging staining your sermons. I know you could find another word that is not mean spirited. Thank you.

[@flemutter7211]

The truth is the truth! If they are toxic they are toxic!

[@Sui_generis07]

Amen!!