My Friend Wouldn't Give Me a +1 To His Wedding So I Would Pretend To Be SIL's BF r/Relationships

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 1: I have a tender heart for the disabled, and this is triggering it. If her family thinks forcing OP to come and pretend he's interested in her, then go back to his gf is acceptable, they're horrible. That's disrespectful to OP's relationship and to Lisa as a person. Update: Oh great! Abusing disabled people AND racism! Whoo, double-whammy!

[@damien678]

I bet she's not actually "mentally 10 years old", she was probably babied and allowed to stay super immature

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

I think the bride wasn’t motivated by Lisa’s sadness at being single, but rather a desire to get Lisa to shut up so her wedding goes off without her sisters bitterness getting in the way. Like clearly they didn’t care what happens after the wedding, they are treating her like a wedding party doll the same way they are treating op like one

[@debc6260]

When it was revealed 1st OP was Japanese-American, it went to a whole new level of cringe. 2nd OP needs to cut the toxic boil of a father out of her life.

[@pippo17173]

Talk about trying to please someone fetish if that is the point of the plan lol.

[@thebigmystery7841]

As a japanese american woman I saw RED. Ive had to deal with nerdy white guys stalking me because they wanted a "waifu". Its so so gross. Makes my skin crawl.

[@SuperPrettyPink101]

Because she likes kpop and Japanese and Korean people are totally interchangeable 😩🤦‍♀️

[@mariah4531]

​@@SuperPrettyPink101Well, a person with a serious developmental disability might not know the difference .

[@CanonSkyrissian]

@@mariah4531 that and there are japanese idols in kpop groups too

[@MisterNightfish]

That "How could you do this to my sister" statement by Clare is literally the meme...

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 1 ' We didn't just set you up on a date without your consent, we also made you the token Korean, even though you are Japanese.' Yikes.

[@carlrood4457]

There's this attitude that Asian is Asian that western people have. If you know even a little bit about East Asian history, you realize nothing is further from the truth. There's a lot of bad blood and even racism between Chinese/Japanese/Korea/etc. It's pretty much like every other part of the world where neighboring states warred for centuries and a lot of culture is tied into that bad blood.

[@meiwa2020]

I'm Asian and there is something SO creepy about "oh yeah, I'm really into Asian girls..." Like you just want to crawl into the nearest shower and wash off the disgust level of creepy. Poor OP! I bet it feels similar to him. I had a guy once drive past me as I was walking to work, turn his car around and then proceed to try to find out where I was going, touch my hair, and tell me on how his last gf was Chinese and it was "nice, real nice". I lied about which store I worked for and walked in there instead of my job. Thankfully I was early so I could eventually go to my actual job without issue. So so creepy.

[@MusicGirl881]

I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the bs of idiotic creeps

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Oh my god that's so creepy 😭

[@malachioliver9788]

yeah like i’m only half korean(and barely look like it lol) but the amount of casual racism i’ve heard even from bts stand blows my mind, like one girl told me i didn’t know what korean culture was 😭

[@ACAB.forcutie]

@@malachioliver9788 the way they talk about Asian people.. like they're not humans, but toys they can play with 🤮 my face is twisted in the craziest cringing face, it just.. truly makes me feel physically ill how bigots talk about people of color, it's really hard to believe a human can talk about another human like that 😳

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Just reading what you wrote had me going what on earth, and glad you got away from that bloke. There are creeps and idiots in any shape and form unfortunately.

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 1: NTA and I’m glad OP ended the friendship cause those two are beyond AHs to try to force OP to date Lisa who they said “has the mentality of a 10 year old” just so they can avoid drama and because OP is the only Asian they know.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

there are more and more stories, like this, coming out. Another one a woman's fiance did not get invited because her, future, BIL's brother had a long standing crush on her and the goal was to get her to break up with her fiance and get with the BIL's creepy brother. I don't get why people are like this. OP in this story was the lucky one, getting out of that shit show before it all imploded. Those people are just disgusting.

[@MusicGirl881]

@@miminana-hd6nf I remember hearing that story and I’m still disgusting. Like do any of these people in these types of stories have any common sense or is it that they have “main character syndrome” and think since they decided this will happen and everyone else will be happy with it

[@ajzephyros7454]

@@miminana-hd6nf part of the problem was the bride to be basically offered up her sister to creepy brother, she seemed to think the marriage wouldn't work if she didn't hook her fiancé's creepy brother up with her sister that was in a committed long term relationship

[@MusicGirl881]

@@ajzephyros7454 if her marriage happiness required her to break up her sister’s committed relationship just so she can be available to the creepy BIL then why are you still considering marrying this guy. If you happiness requires the unhappiness of another then you cannot expect to have a good life.

[@saratronus]

And can I say that there was already a groomsman? That was single so that whole thing about OP lying to be single was BS. Unless they specifically wanted OP which they should have said which they didn't.

[@Somebody9666]

Story 1. What they tried to do are actually really vile.. "Lisa was upset by not being the one getting married!" And? What does that have to do with OP pretending to be her bf? Why are they focusing on the sister getting married and not having a partner? Those "parents" are disgusting, enabling her behavior and doing her 0 favors in thinking she will benefit from that in any way.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

“I just told him I hope his son-in-law treats me the way he treated my mom. He never gave an answer to that.” It’s chucklesome how OP managed to counter her dad’s weird sexist logic, him not responding was like Windows crashing.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

The only person he's trying to convince with the "cheating is just in men's nature" bs is himself and op threw a wrench in that. He went silent cause he couldn't delude himself anymore lmao

[@onnas5610]

I tell my dad similar when he's being an ass to my stepmom or misogynistic. And it's aways "that's different" "your my daughter and I'll kill him if he ever-" 🙄.

[@annabellehe4307]

​@@onnas5610 so by that logic he should have been offed by your grandpa lol

[@onnas5610]

@@annabellehe4307 unfortunately he passed before they met but her brothers hate him and he doesn't understand why of course.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

​@@onnas5610maybe the brothers need to do what their dad would've done 🤷‍♀️

[@adamstorfer415]

Story 1: OP should have told them that if they wanted to hire Lisa an escort for the wedding, his rates would be $2,500.00 an hour and no physical contact. He obviously wouldn't have been asked to be a groomsman if he didn't fill Lisa's kink. The bride & groom didn't care one second past the reception about the aftermath. They just wanted a smooth wedding with Lisa out of their hair.

[@PonderingStudent]

Story 1 is disgusting. Ablism and racism all rolled into one appalling (and, incidentally, badly thought out from start to finish) package. With friends like this, who needs enemies. OP definitely did the right thing by ending the friendship and I hope he never speaks to either of them again. Worst of all, they still don't see what they did wrong and probably never will.

[@Imjustkendall]

Yea…I’m not mentally disabled but I do have autism and have a hard time getting jokes/what people around me are talking about some of the time. It’s easier to gaslight and trick me because of it and the thought of someone tricking a disabled person is angering on a whole other level…

[@addicted2mako]

Lol, when Sylvia went to OP's mom's place and started screaming about how she's stealing her man away from her, I immediately heard that line from The Princess Bride: "You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen!"

[@chasefrost1401]

For story 2, the way he's reacting is exactly why no one told him before the new marriage.

[@IrisAsuras]

I have lived through a lot of messed up things and heard of more and this really takes the cake for being despicable. How could they let someone with a disability believe someone likes them when they don't and hardly knows them? That's incredibly cruel.

[@ultraviolet2447]

That line about his future son in law treating her like he treated her mother was EVERYTHING.

[@addicted2mako]

"He said that as a man it is hard to control the urges...A man can cheat but still love his wife and would die for his wife..." My husband heard this part and he was baffled to say the least. And OP made the right move in not telling her dad when her mom was getting remarried; no doubt he would've pulled some over-the-top, rom-com grade objection when the officiant got to the "Speak now or forever hold your peace" part

[@pippo17173]

This is just next level entitlement that I'm sure the family runs on. Granted this is basically the cheaters motto.

[@karendaniel620]

Last Story: Seems like Sylvia is doing the pick me dance with daddy dearest while mom moves on.

[@ivorynk752]

My inner drama llama wants to know what the fallout is after the wedding in story 1.

[@incineroar9933]

Why didn't they just ask the guy without a girlfriend to take Lisa? He doesn't have a girlfriend and can't find a date to go with him. That's literally all they have to do.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Right? That’s what I was wondering Edit after the update: oh, that’s why. Yikes.

[@MusicGirl881]

Right that’s the most logical thing

[@mollyshine20brown65]

They have the update

[@miminana-hd6nf]

because Lisa thought he was ugly and disgusting.

[@addicted2mako]

The update mentions that 1) Lisa is into K-pop and OP is the only Asian guy they know, and 2) Lisa thought the single guy was ugly

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Last story!! The.comment the dad made about how men cannot control their urges, pissed me off! That was always my father's attitude. He cheated on my mom during the last 10 years of their 16 year marriage, and had 2 kids with 2 of his affair partners. My mom was raised with the old fashioned attitude of, "As long as he puts his boots under my bed at night, it isn't my business what he does outside of the home." Ugh, I hated that saying! Anyway, she finally opened her eyes when she found out her best friend since kindergarten was pregnant, with MY FATHER'S child. Mom finally kicked him out, and immediately filed for divorce. Mom did eventually remarry my stepdad, and he has been the most amazing father to me over the last 36 years. He has never called me his stepdaughter, I am simply his daughter. He walked me down the aisle when I got married. Bio dad was pissed, but thats a whole other different story, lol. My father went on to have 4 more wives, and 6 more kids, bringing his count up to 5 wives and 11 kids. However, I thought it was poetic justice, because he adored and loved wife number 5. So much so that she was the only wife he was faithful to. Well, karma hit when SHE ended up having an affair, and divorced my father to marry her AP. My dad was never in another relationship until he passed away 15 years later, because he pined away for wife #5, and hoped they would get back together. After he divorced his 3rd wife, my mother told him, "If you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to end up broke from all the child support you pay, and alone when you pass away." It is sad to say she was right on the money. After each divorce, he had limited contact with his kids from that marraige, and just paid child support. In his last 18 months of life, my eldest sister (dad's first born) felt as the oldest, it was her responsibility to care for him. Although she despised him for all he did, she had the closest relationship, because the first 6 years of my parents marraige, dad was faithful and was very present and active in my sister's life, when my parents had my brother and I dad had started to withdraw at that point, so bro and I, and his other 8 kids were an after thought. The two things I have been blessed with out of the mess my father made, was one, unlike my elder sister and brother, I have forged a bond and close relationship with my younger brother, and sisters. Second and most important, was I knew exactly what kind of man I wanted in my life, and which men to avoid. I have been with my husband 30 years, and married 28 years. We have both been faithful to each other, and I knew from the beginning he would never be the kind of man to cheat. Of course skeptic people will ask how do I know I can trust him. My answer is, first he too came from a broken family due to infidelity, only it was his mother that cheated. So, he knows exactly how it feels. Also, we are best friends, have an open and honest relationship, always make sure to communicate, and have been in marraige counseling 20 years of our 28 year marraige to ensure we are on the same page. Marraige is a lot more than simply loving the person, it takes a lot of work, and both partners have to be invested. TLDR: Husbands that feel its their right as men to cheat are aweful, and my bio dad was one of the worse of them all!

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S1: This is such a bad idea -- for Lisa. What was the plan after the wedding when her "boyfriend" disappeared? Creating this imaginary scenario is not a good thing for Lisa's mental health.

[@TheTrueKarin]

I honestly suspect they would try to guilt him into ,,dates“ to make her happy.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 nta I heard this one before. Its always hilarious when cheaters act like they are the victims.

[@morphinpink]

About story 1: I wonder how much of this is the family's idea rather than Lisa. If psychologically she's about 10 she's probably not even thinking about having a boyfriend. Also I've find a lot of people peoject their own racism onto people who like ANY kind of Asian media (either music or movies etc) and assume you'll have a race fetish. I've had people try setting me up on dates with random Asian men because I like BTS and I'm always so??? what does me liking a group's music have to do with your random friend💀 so icky. Lisa could still be a weirdo though, a lot of young people into hardcore fandoms end up being cringey and inappropriate. But she still has the mentality of a child, so her family is responsible for enabling inappropriate behavior.

[@invisigoth510]

Even though she’s intellectually 10, emotionally she’s most likely a teenager & interested in things like dating & boyfriends plus she’s seeing her sister’s life & expects something similar to happen in her life while not understanding what is actually happening Example: she sees her sister getting a pretty dress, a lot of attention, & a big party. Not understanding what exactly a wedding & marriage is With developmentally disabled people you can’t just say “oh they’re 10 years old or 6 years old” It’s more likely they are one age intellectually & another age emotionally Ex. My aunt’s Sister in law was intellectually around 8 to 12 but emotionally tweens early teens. She constantly talked about wanting a boyfriend or to get married while not understanding what having a boyfriend or getting married meant She died at age 58 due to other health issues My developmentally disabled niece has the intellectual capacity of a 5 or 6 year old but emotionally is a tween. She’s in her early 20s. She doesn’t have any interest in relationships but she has interests that teens or tweens do: she likes K-pop & anime& watching makeup videos on KZbin & dance videos on TikTok

[@morphinpink]

@invisigoth510 Very true! Thanks for the insightful comment. I still think that someone who's intellectually pre pubescent probably doesn't have the capacity to have a race fetish, at least now in the way that adults do, but it totally makes sense the fact the big event is a wedding would lead to either the sister wanting or the family thinking the sister wants a "boyfriend" to not be "left out". Either way it's still on the caretakers to not give into that behavior.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, this is next level insane, them enabling "Lisa"'s delusions like this, is not healthy for anyone, especially "Lisa". Story 1 (update): Wow, just wow.

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 2: NTA how is it any of his business if his EX-wife gets remarried or not. OP’s dad showed that he has no loyalty to anyone but himself and the only reason he’s mad is that his ego is hurt cause he can no longer go with the scenario in his head that his ex still wants him. Sylvia, girl bye. Showing up at the ex’s doorstep, after she already moved on, to yell at her screams that I’m miserable and I want you also to be miserable so I’m going to make myself sexually available and steal the “man” in your life. You already know the OP’s dad doesn’t truly love you and only gets with you when he wants to get his d*** wet and like OP’s mom said you didn’t steal anything, you took out the trash for her, you didn’t win this onesided competition of yours.

[@MsAnonymous1981]

Last story: I don't understand other women. The reason that woman went to OP's mom yelling about OP's mom "taking her man" is because he cheated on OP's mom to be with her. If she wants a faithful partner-how about not seducing men who are already in relationships? They show they are not trustworthy when they cheat with you. OW just aren't that bright. I love OP's mom's response re: OW sleeping with the new husband, "I'd thank you for taking out the trash." lolz. You go OP's mom.

[@autumn557]

One more redirect of “men just can’t control themselves and shouldn’t be held to too high a standard because they’re just too weak to not beat in or cheat on a girl” but “woman should be better and just forgive and forget. After all, you should be stronger” I’m tired of being held on a skyscraper high level and men can literally be on a foot stool level and told they’re doing so great.

[@cgi2002]

I'm a man, I occasionally have an urge to rob a bank because they have all the money I want, guess what, I've managed to not rob the bank. People have urges all the time, not acting on them is part of been a civilised person. I will admit there is a genetic predisposition for men to sleep with multiple women, but we've bene overcoming that for thousands of years quite successfully. Just like we have (mostly) overcome the genetic predisposition we have to throw faeces at other people, chase large animals with sharp sticks, and climb trees.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, your mom's new relationship is none of your fathers business. The fact that he "still wants to be with your mom", but is still dating his mistress on and off, is insane.

[@MrJpaynebb]

You just don't get it. Just because he lied and betrayed his wife and family with one of her close friends for years and is the reason for their divorce doesn't mean they can't work things out. After all as a man he has urges and OP and her mom should understand that and be more forgiving of him and take him back 🤮🤮

[@colleens1107]

OPs mom might want to look into a restraining order cuz his dad sounds unhinged

[@tashacooper1753]

In a small way that makes me wonder why does Sylvia keep getting back with a guy that wants her friend back

[@MusicGirl881]

I can think of three reasons. 1) Like the ex husband in her delusional head OP’s mom is still in love with OP’s dad even though she literally couldn’t give two fucks about the both of them. 2) it’s a power play for her to still be getting with the husband and showing how “superior” she is to OP’s mom. 3) Since having the affair her reputation in town is ruin to the point that no decent and rational guy will date her and she mostly like ruined her other personal relationship with others so all she has left is the ex husband to cling to.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

​@@MusicGirl881 Considering the update, it's definitely reason 1 and a mix of reason 2. No person who values themselves ties said value to if they can take someone's spouse.

[@trillionbones89]

@@MusicGirl881 imagine this power play: I'm going to sleep with your ex-husband who you don't want to sleep with and prefers ex-wife over Sylvia...?

[@brianaschmidt910]

​@@trillionbones89 in her mind the ex wife is the one who's "in love" with op's dad and is trying to win him back because 'I'm a disgusting skank and if I can easily picture myself doing it, it stands to reason that everyone else is just as slimy and the niceness they exude is just a mask to hide their evilness' Plus it really is a twisted view of sex and is somehow seen as 'winning' because of course HE (cuz you know it is) is with Her so clearly She is the 'better woman'

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Dad screwed himself out of his last marriage. With her "best friend" no less. You don't get to walk that move back. And you lose the chance to be in her life. To quote Willy Wonka, "You get nothing. You lose! Good day, Sir!"

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 I am glad the OP got away from these horrible people. If the sister has the mentality of a 10 year old, she should understand the word no. It sounds like just giving her what she wants to placate her is what they have been doing. The fact she threw a tantrum because she is not the one getting married is very telling. That her own sister was willing to play along with her delusion to keep peace at the wedding is just gross. The fall out after the wedding would be a nightmare.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: “You need to suck it up for a day because this would mean a lot to Lisa.” Response: “Well single guy didn’t manage to find a date, so maybe he can walk with her. Lisa’s feelings aren’t my responsibility; my gf’s are. If Hannah can’t come, I will voluntarily step down and you can find someone to replace me.” NTA.

[@WyntheRogue]

Story 1: NTA! OP made the right choice to nope out of that friendship not only because in a way they disrespected OP's relationship with Hannah BUT tried to use him as a prop to appease the bridezilla's mentally unwell sister which doesn't sound too differently from trying to pimp him out. [Gross! That's never okay regardless whose on the receiving end of blatant sexual harassment.] Hope things get better OP and whenever he puts the ring on Hannah down the road, I hope that wedding goes well. [Won't fully blame Lisa as she is obviously unwell but OP's ex friend and his bridezilla to be knew what they were doing, WTF?! NO!! STAHP!!] Story 2: Nope nope NTA, OP's mom is now happily married to an awesome dude after her dad cheated on her with that homewrecking harlot. "A man has urges/needs?!" BRUH! Cheating is NEVER okay no matter who does it and a mentality like that is sexist AF, not only feeding the double standard of "Men are conquerors the more women they screw where a woman is a wh*re if they do something similar/enjoy sex" but it's kind of sexist towards guys too as it implies men have no self control/are rabid sex crazed beasts [when obvi no civilized human being with any decency is that lacking in self discipline, there are plenty of awesome dudes that aren't total horn dogs]. Also, screw the mother's family for enabling this crap and siding with the backstabbing side piece. Cheater dad needs to learn life isn't a rom com movie, hope OP lives happily with her mum and her stepdad, Jack plus her classmate is now her brother, bonus! :3

[@janejones7638]

Story #1 is so sad. I mean for Lisa, I wonder how many times her family lies to her.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "I'm better than you!" Yeah that's why he married your friend instead of you and keeps dumping you cause he misses her. Definitely better. An upgrade, if you will. /s

[@dawnstone4424]

Thank you for your consistent uploads. Your cheerful voice makes my day brighter❤

[@standinthegsp6858]

“No. Why would YOU do this to your sister?” As a mother with a 27 year old child diagnosed with developmental disabilities who’s been diagnosed as being at kindergarten-nine year old level (depending on skill test) I can tell you that if someone ever did this to my child......... Well, let’s just say they should praise God that He has one hand on my shoulder & the other over my mouth!

[@lorianabanana6066]

My brother is severely autistic/profoundly handicapped. I have been around the MRDD community my whole life and worked for day programs for years. You'd think that taking care of lower functioning people who need alot more help with daily tasks like hygiene would be alot harder than working with higher functioning adults is alot hard. It isn't. You know why- the constant boyfriend/girlfriend drama. It was like middle school everyday only they have adult wants/needs. We were constantly trying to prevent hook ups, keep people from runnung away with strangers on the internet, and dealing with epic break up tantrums. They could have relationships, but because they were vulnerable they had to sign paperwork, have their messages monitered, and have safeguards in place. But that took time and apparently nobody had time for that lol. But the worst thing was we had a female client whose family would encourage her 'crushes' including on STAFF. Then they would try to sue us for sexual harrassment. When that didn't work they'd whine that she missed HER staff and was throwing tantrums over it. I wish I was kidding. This is so f^cked up. Lisa doesn't understand why she can't be with OP. Instead of explaining that OP has a girlfriend (which Lisa would understand) they are encouraging her. To prevent tantrums no doubt. But even if all went according to plan what happens AFTER the wedding? An even bigger blow up is ineviatable. Lisa CAN NOT be with OP, it's ILLEGAL. OP could get in serious trouble if Lisa were to say she was preganant- we had clients lie about pregnancies CONSTANTLY. My favorite was a girl who had her tubes tied but was pregnant every other week. One day I finally told her 'No your not. You are never alone and you had your surgery. C'mon you don't have to lie to hangout.' She finally admitted that she wasn't, that time anyway. But if Lisa pulled that OP could be ARRESTED. You have to be so careful with what you say and do around vulnerable adults. They are setting OP AND Lisa BOTH up for failure. What I'd do is promise Lisa a party just for her- AFTER the wedding. Maybe rent out a small venue, or do a backyard picnic. Decorate it to Lisa's tastes, let her buy a dress she loves. Have food- cheeseburgers and pizza would be a hit. Get a karoke machine. Invite all of her dayprogram buddies. We used to have 'prom' for our clients every year- they LOVED it. Really all they needed was music and food- but throw in some decor and fancy dress and they'll LOVE it. But again- make it AFTER the wedding. This way the PARTY is the carrot to dangle- not OP. If Lisa starts to act out remind her that her party is coming up soon so she needs to behave nicely, we don't want to cancel but if Lisa can't handle the wedding she can't handle the party. Also have someone on "Lisa Duty' at the wedding, to try and calm her or take her home if it's too much for her. My brother is too low functioning to want a girlfriend. He likes curvy girls in bathing suits lol- but it doesn't go beyond that. People always used to say- "Oh don't you want him to have a girlfriend? Wouldn't that be cute?' HELL NO. Just no. They are crazy. I have enough drama in my life please & thank you lol.

[@sleepingkirby]

Story 2: "He would die for his wife." Okay, so you would die for her... but you can't not cheat for her... I'm pretty sure not doing something is easier than dying...

[@chinavaughan6383]

Story 1: I have never heard of anything so cruel. Why would Lisa’s family make her believe that OP is her boyfriend by making him come without his girlfriend and walking Lisa down the aisle?What does the family thinks will happen after the wedding? Lisa will be disappointed if OP doesn’t contact her after the wedding and then what?😢

[@saralee6710]

She's developmentally delayed, to around 10... well 10 year olds are not emotionless, nor unintelligent, so she would naturally be upset by unreciprocated affections. Also, "She likes K-Pop, and I am Japanese," Ffs not only was he chosen for being Asian, but he can just pretend to be Korean as well as her boyfriend? The layers of ignorance from that family is astounding.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

A "family" of Weaboo's will Weeb.

[@weltonvillegal6258]

Call whatever office is there for vulnerable adults and report her family.

[@carlrood4457]

What are the odds he was only asked to be in the wedding because "he's the only Asian guy they knew"? It's not because they consider him a close friend. They just needed someone to placate LIsa. There's also an "all Asians are the same vibe". She likes K-Pop, so a Japanese guy is close enough.

[@invisigoth510]

Story one: that is unnecessarily cruel to the sister My aunt’s MIL did this sort of thing for her mentally disabled daughter, getting her hopes up, putting her at risk for abuse, breaking her heart because her “boyfriends” didn’t love her God I hated that woman

[@dre1978]

I had to do a double take more than once during that first story holy shit. It was already bad enough they wanted to do that to a disabled person to begin with but the added racism/fetishizing of OP for being Asian is just... Wow

[@carlrood4457]

OP's worries about Jack are valid, even if they turn out to be unfounded. Without serious changes, people fall into the same patterns and are attracted to the same types of people. It's less about Jack and more about OP's mom. The fact that she chose Sylvia as a friend without really knowing the type of person she is is also a red flag that OP's mom gravitates to toxic people

[@fufufuaru]

There's another update it looks like for story 1 and lol whether the story is true or not, the "irony" at the end of the latest update was hella funny

[@platinum_noelle]

Oof at OP1 being pimped out like an escort

[@addicted2mako]

That first one is a restaurant menu of squick. They essentially tried to rig the event to where they could throw OP at Lisa like a steak at a starving dog so they wouldn't have to deal with her for the night, and only because he was the only Asian guy they know? NTA, but Kyle and his bride definitely are. Lisa doesn't deserve to have her emotions toyed around like that. ETA: This is especially scummy since OP wasn't supposed to know he'd be the only one without a +1. My guess is that they intended to make him find out at the last possible moment and go along with it to not upset Lisa at the event.

[@stephanienoblet8503]

Same

[@GIChiyo]

"A man can cheat and still love his wife" WOW that's telling I bet this dude also thinks that on the other hand if a woman cheats she is a horrible person that doesn't love her husband What a pathetic person

[@browniewin4121]

1) Absolutely NTA to nope out from this when he was being set up to make him pretend to be the boyfriend to the brides disabled sister. 100% wrong that they were trying to pull this off and OP only found out by accident. Avoid these crazy people going forward, they are awful and not friends to OP. After update: I'm glad OP found out the truth about how horrible that couple is and has cut them out of his life. Wow, so much crazy going on with those people. 2) NTA, it's none of his business. He was a terrible husband and is a terrible father. OP is right, and should go NC with the dad since he is the opposite of adding anything positive to their life. I'm glad the mom found a good man and got married without incident. After update: LOL, some people, WTF?! Too bad some people are so awful. I'm glad OP recognizes how wrong and screwed up the dad is. I do hope OP gets away from the craziness that is the dad and his messed up on & off again AP.

[@carlrood4457]

Love is extremely difficult to define because there are so many different types and levels. It's also intertwined with things like trust and respect at levels other emotions don't require (e.g. anger). While some people can and do separate love from sex, that's not really relevant in this case. He didn't respect his wife and broke the trust. What he's feeling now is probably more about what HE failed at and lost, rather than anything to do with OP's mom. He screwed up. He's the bad guy. He failed. He won't accept those things, so getting back with the ex would wipe his slate clean.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Pretending he's Lisa's boyfriend? Because they don't want her to be single? *Okay, that's just a WHOLE new level of f@cked up!* Let that woman be and stop indulging her. And let OP be as well. *Damn!* 🤦🏾‍♀️ After update: So, Lisa is a Korea-boo. And they, knowing OP had a girlfriend already, still tried to go with it? And Lisa being extremely immature (since she's mentally disabled)? I'm glad that "friendship" is over. There is no respect from these people and plenty of enabling Lisa's behavior. 😬

[@damien678]

I bet she's not actually "mentally 10 years old", she was probably babied and allowed to stay super immature

[@Davtwan]

Is it true a man can cheat and still love his wife? Sure. Does it mean that trust doesn’t get broken in that circumstance? *HELL NO.*

[@emilybarclay8831]

How can you love someone when you prioritise four minutes of physical pleasure over your partner’s heart, soul, health and mind? It’s the exact same argument as ‘sure I hit her, but I still love her!’ No you do not. You don’t love someone of you choose to hurt them for your own selfish wants. Love requires loyalty. Cheating shows you have no loyalty, so you have no love

[@DullestStar9299]

I mean... But you should be up front from the very beginning and ask for an open relationship if that's the case. If she says yes to a one-sided open relationship (that most guys want), power to you. If she prefers it to be a fully open relationship, hey, at least she still said yes. If she says no, then chances are you two don't want the same thing and, sorry to break it to some people, love *WILL NOT* be enough to keep the relationship stable and healthy. The issue is that the majority of dudes know that the majority of women seek and value exclusive relationships and would probably laugh in their face before the question is ever posed to them. Hence, why you have some guys who believe it's "acceptable" to sleep with other women when they're already in a full-blown relationship, spewing this selfish, harmful, gobbledygook that men can cheat, and women can't; a single self-respecting woman would never go into a marriage knowing this beforehand. In fact, those women are willing are very, very far and few in between, and even less so for those who'll allow for a one-sided open relationship. On another note... I'm curious if these men think if the women they're sleeping with behind their SO's back are mindless robots (just like them). Do they think their AP(s) won't fall for them? Do they think they're going to be okay with being the second best? What if AP is psycho; now you put your spouse and family in danger. So, to mirror what you said: Is it true a man can cheat and still love is wife? Sure... But he in no way respects her as a person with feelings nor does he respect her sexual health... Does it mean that trust doesn't get broken in that circumstance? Of course, it's broken, and unfortunately sometimes it can damage a person beyond repair, especially when STIs are involved. It's not even a matter of trust, in my opinion. It's a matter of mental and physical health being put in jeopardy because someone wants to have their cake and eat it too. You would REALLY think with antibiotic resistant strains of STIs roaming around that people would have more respect for their partner's health than, I don't know, messing around and bringing home some STI that can only be treated with chemotherapy or some other over-the-top unorthodox method of medicine. But then again... people will always be people... Humans gonna human, I guess.

[@chasefrost1401]

I'm so in love with that one username, Grootsuitriot. Clever af.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have a restful night 👍 Have a great day/night everyone 👋🤗

[@shebakoby]

1st story: Ohgod OP's friend's fiancee sounds like she's been conditioned to bow to the spoiled rotten developmentally delayed Golden Child (Lisa) and is exhibiting narcissistic-adjacent coping behaviors that she learned from her parents if she's not an actual Cluster of Bees herself. Kyle's all in because he sold his soul to a Demon in the Sack, although he might have his own subscriptions to issues as well. OP is well to cut this cancer out of his life. Only someone who's been either conditioned to worship the Golden Child, or is a Cluster of Bees themself, would say crap like "Why would you do this to my sister" when it was HER that was doing it to her sister.

[@actuallynotsteve]

Look, the 2nd story really makes me appreciate those of us with character. My best friend of 20 years since high school had a horrible, on-again off-again relationship with a good friend of mine who I knew for years before I eventually became better friends with the dude later on. I can think of a dozen times where she aggressively tried to seduce, often in public settings in front of our other friends, and many times when they weren't together. It wasn't hard to see through it, and realize that she was simply trying to upset my friend, and thus even though she's a hot crazy smoke show, I turned her down, every time. If you're too weak to not be able to stick your dick in crazy (even if it's temporary crazy and they're not a bad person), and value your friendships, well - story 2 is what's in store for you. It's not worth decades to have fun for a night, especially when it's going to really hurt somebody you deeply care about. It's like a 9 of 10 on the fuck around/find out scale.

[@lindtplease1693]

If you love someone you don't cheat on them. End of story. OP's dad fancies himself as someone special, but he's just trash. Good on OP's mum for being able to move on from both the shitty husband & best friend.

[@Sovreign071]

As someone who's neurodivergent, I was sympathizing (NOT condoning) a little with Lisa eight up until the update. ...yyyyyyyyyyIKES!

[@QuayHollywood]

That comment in the second story about people believing a spouse is responsible for their partner cheating is a conversation i had with a friend. She and her fiance fully believe that a man or a person cheating on their SO is the other persons fault because you weren't giving them something that the other person did. And im like wtf its never the persons fault that was cheated on. it's always the cheaters fault. Once i reminded her of my ex that cheated on me in a drunken 3 some after i was with him almost everyday for the 3 years we were together, bought food for me him and his kids when i would go to to see him, we went on dates and everything, he"d cook dinner for us, wed go on mini vacations, play games etc. Genuinely believed our relationship was great, and then he did what he did. Bringing that up to her she was like yeah youre right i didnt think of it that way. I called her stupid and her fiance. The fact he brought it up makes me believe hes cheating on her

[@blacksunday4231]

This story infuriates me, having a sister that is 23 and is just like the SIL. I wouldnt ever want my family to put my sister in that position.

[@Queen_Of_Discord]

I'm Japanese-American and holy shit.... that first story made me cringe so fucking much

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday. おやすみ！❤️😴

[@dawnstone4424]

Wow. Not fair to Lisa for one. Not fair to OP. I’d pull out of that wedding so fast they’d get whiplash from speed I flew by

[@cpaul9269]

story 1 - this is disgusting on every single level here. If I was OP, I would bail, and prolly not speak to them again. Ever.

[@josepherhardt164]

7:30 Not to mention, if anything happens, regardless of who Lisa winds up with, she is likely not mentally competent under her state's laws to be able to consent.

[@champslim]

Story One: Update.... Ewwwww

[@laurenweathersby746]

Another markee video yay!!

[@kavertia6261]

Look. I think everyone deserves second chances. As long as someone’s alive, they can learn and grow. And yet “A man can cheat on his wife and still love and be willing to die for her.” Then die. It would be so much easier for her if he just disappeared from her life, if not actually then effectively. Because his “love” is not about his wife. But he won’t. It’s not about her. It’s about him. He loves himself so much he’s can’t bear to lose something that was “his”. He loves himself enough to be willing to die if it would achieve what he wants. Except there’s nothing he wants more than his own satisfaction and health-even at the cost of delusion.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

What’s to say that Lisa won’t go all stalker-crazy on him after and then try to harm Hannah when she catches them together during one of her stalking field trips?

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, holy hell! Are they dumb? Just because Lise has an intellectual disability doesn’t mean enabling her or tricking her!

[@cloudfair2]

Wow, that title story was COMPLETELY different than I expected. I seriously thought it was going to be a homophobia story but NOPE, it was an entirely different kind of f$&@ed up.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I feel sorry for Lisa, that's just utterly cruel! Naturally OP is not the AH and I am glad he got out of there and ended that crud show of a "friendship". Yikes!

[@cynthiaappleton4668]

YAY!!!! Markee stories

[@heatherweir8726]

Story two. All op has to do wait till she's 18 then she can choose to go no contact with her bio dad. Until she's 18 dad could take her to court for custody. Op to dad. Humans are not wild animals we can control ourselves and our urges.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

History shows that humans are animals and have yet to transcend that status.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

I said "oh no.." out loud when it got to the kpop reveal. 😑 definitely wasn't expecting racism to be a part of it.

[@driversuz44]

If you want to hear a ton of victim blaming, turn on speaker phone, and have a man call a DV hotline to tell them he's being @bu$ed. They'll give him a million reasons why it's his own fault.

[@NaliTikva]

Story 1: so they are basically trying to trick the guy into commiting a pedophilic action??? WTF!

[@nightdweller6446]

Nta and that is one gigantic can of dragons you don't want to open. Avoid at all costs Edit glad OP ran S2 the only AHs are Dad, Sylvia and the FMs. No one else is. OP isn't a set, a traitor or something negative. Protecting mom's well being was the best decision

[@manxeable]

Buenos días! Como llegué tan rápido y aún estoy acostada?

[@damien678]

I bet she's not actually "mentally 10 years old", she was probably babied and allowed to stay super immature

[@iwantsifegold]

A Japanese guy plays a Korean boyfriend because he happens to be Asian in a historical context. This is so fucked up I have I can’t stop laughing. A Japanese guy to play a Korean boyfriend because he happens to be Asian in historical context. This is so fucked up I have I can’t stop laughing.

[@Spgzay]

I really feel bad for lisa

[@stevebanner5609]

Lust is 100 times stronger than love-that means you’re in lust when you start a relationship yet if it doesn’t turn into love within 18 months count on a divorce if they’re married. It’s simple math: 100-1, what generally wins???

[@emilybarclay8831]

Lust is only stronger than love for the weak minded and faithless

[@Neyfufu00]

Quote "as a man that it is hard to control the urges" No it isn't and that's not an excuse any man or guy can use. That's just an excuse to sleep around with people. I don't even care if it's a medical issue type thing it's not an excuse

[@DJ125M]

Story 2 the dad is an ass hole that needs the "mistress" to cheat on him to make him feel what she felt

[@drea4195]

Story 1; Lisa is sister to the groom, whether or not she has a "date" to the wedding is entirely irrelevant. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not automatically supposed to be couples. Lisa doesn't need to be "matched up" with someone she's attracted to in order to be a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding. Someone should explain that to this entire family. OP is definitely NTA.

[@stephanienoblet8503]

Um she’s the sister of the bride not the groom

[@juanhaines7295]

Good morning to everyone.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Good Morning ☀️

[@sleepingkirby]

6:26 "Clare asked me why I would do this to her sister." Do what? Not want to lie to her? Not want to string her along with false hope? Not want to disrespect OP's girlfriend? Not want to be forced to be saddled with the burden of caring for their disabled relative that OP barely knows? Not want to go along with their racism? Not want to do their work for them? OP's NOT doing ANYTHING to her. That's the POINT of NOT attending the wedding. As an Asian guy that grew up in the US, this is pretty f*cking racist. Like, this feels more racist than ANYTHING I've dealt with in 25+ years living in the US. For all my Asian peers still living in the US, if you don't know, a lot of people will drop work, responsibilities and burdens onto you as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Don't let them. Their idea is that "model minorities are hard working and they can do x better than I can. So I'll just let them do the work for me. It's what they're there for." It's detrimental to you AND them. Again, don't let them.

[@samssams666]

story one that is extremely fucked up because if she actually believes that they’re dating the neck can go horribly, does she know that it’s a fake date? Or did they lie and tell her that she has a date to the wedding and it’s OP?

[@mztweety1374]

Looks like pops fumbled the bag big time. MoveOn old man it ain't going to happen.

[@colleens1107]

This is the kind of situation where OH NO BUDDY IM SO SORRY, I HAVE COVID comes to play and ditch the wedding. What his friend did is absolutely garbage. OP is correct, it’s scummy to manipulate his disabled sister like this. OP might want to make a quick statement on his social media so that Kyle and Clare can’t make him the bad guy in this really fucked up situation

[@stephanienoblet8503]

Um she’s the sister of the bride not the groom

[@IFAMILYIH]

THATS REALLY MESSED UP TO TRY AND GET AN ASIAN GUY TO SLEEP WITH HER 🤦‍♂️

[@sk8ergrrl1]

“A man can cheat and still love his wife and die for his wife” yeah that’s BS that all those toxic bros on podcasts spout. If you truly love your spouse, you would never intentionally do anything to hurt them, man or woman.

[@damien678]

Uh...some victims of abuse DO cheat in order to be able to escape. How are you supposed to leave if you're being financially abused and have no money? One of the easiest ways for people to find support, especially those without a support system to fall back one, is to get romantic with someone else.

[@emilybarclay8831]

If you’re able to pay for a hotel and regularly meet with someone behind your partners back without them knowing, you’re able to leave, full stop. If you can pay for a hotel to fuck in, you can pay for a hotel to sleep in

[@plazmapple6326]

You wanna know why this plan sounds really dumb and the people who made it sound like TV characters? Because it didnt happen.

[@masumi1990x]

Story 1: It is not a racism, it is a fetishism - fetishising Asian looking guy is bad enough.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Thinking Japanese people and Korean people are completely interchangeable is by definition racist

[@masumi1990x]

@@emilybarclay8831 Okay. So... thank you. You proved that all those people who shout "white people are the same" or something like that and don't recognize nationality and differences are racists.

[@ajzephyros7454]

Hey Markee considering almost every subreddit has gone dark, what's the plan for these videos moving forward?

[@morphinpink]

It's only for a few days and he probably has videos filmed in advance.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Sister is obsessed with K-pop a Korean thing...I know! Let's set her up with my Japanese friend who already has a girlfriend! Good riddance to those ex-friends. Op is better off without that trash.