The NT Challenge: Making Sense of Your ASD Partner's Way of Thinking, Feeling and Behaving

Downloadable programs:
--- Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples- www.livingwithaspergerspartne...
--- Interpersonal Relationship Skills: eBook and Audio Instruction for Male Partners with ASD- www.neurodiversemarriage.org/...
Coaching services for autistic male partners:
--- Skype Group for ASD Men Struggling in Their Relationship with an NT Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
--- Skype Group: ASD Men’s Master Class: www.asdmasterclass.com/2022/0...
Coaching services for neurotypical female partners:
--- Skype Group for Neurotypical Women Struggling in Their Relationship with an ASD Spouse: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
--- Skype Group: Recovery from Cassandra Syndrome for Neurotypical Spouses: www.cassandrasyndromerecovery...
Coaching services for the ASD + NT couple:
--- Skype Group for Neurodiverse Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
Individual coaching services:
--- One-on-One Sessions for Struggling Individuals and Couples Affected by ASD: www.adultaspergerschat.com/20...
Access to “Members-Only” videos:
--- Get your perks here: / @markhutten
Parenting resources:
--- Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children and Teens with ASD Level 1: www.myaspergerschild.com/2019...
--- Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: www.high-functioningautism.co...
--- Discipline for Defiant Teens on the Autism Spectrum: www.myaspergersteen.com/
--- Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: www.autism-meltdowns.com/
--- Launching Adult Children with ASD Level 1: How to Promote Self-Reliance: www.launchingadultchildren.com/
--- Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Kids on the Spectrum: www.social-skills-emotion-man...
--- Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: aspergers-mystery.blogspot.com/

[@dixbowman3452]

You know us so well!

[@awadoo4503]

agreed from watching many vids he made he knows us well!

[@hinarangichurch1416]

Sometimes its easier to find someone else

[@emmanolan6643]

That’s sounds like they live in constant anxiety as much as someone with an anxiety disorder- how horrible

[@TheFpskiller]

aspie's suicide rate is 30 times higher for a reason

[@51elephantchang]

We do as would any tiny minority that feels totally out of place.Just imagine how you might feel if the figures were reversed and nt's were a tiny minority.

[@51elephantchang]

@@TheFpskiller I think about it a lot so your stat does not surprise me.

[@markhigham9589]

Very horrid indeed , it’s a lifetime thing . Some of us get used to it and anxiety just hangs in the background , others can use it to they’re advantage and some suffer all the time …….we all suffer with it nonetheless, it’s just varying degrees . Thank you so much for your kindness by noticing .

[@Elizarge]

I enjoy your videos and send them to my husband to watch. In all your examples you use male autistics. I am a the one with autism and can not as a female get a diagnosis based on the fact that I am married. Women are vastly under diagnosed and misunderstood. Please add more content on the female presentation of ASD. Thank you Mark

[@markhutten]

DULY NOTED!

[@Elizarge]

@@markhutten I hope that didn't come off as bossy...I meant to ask politely.

[@RosethornJMF]

May I ask why being married prevents you from being diagnosed as autistic? I was previously married and sometimes I wonder if I am autistic.

[@angelakeepa9830]

I'm Autistic, married for 24 yrs and have three teens (all autistic). You need to keep looking on your journey for a professional that has had lots of experience with Autistic people. As to know one Autistic is to know that just the one. I would keep looking for the right person whom will listen to you.

[@markhutten]

@@Elizarge No Dear ... that was most polite - thank you!

[@dixbowman3452]

Yes right on! We need BREAKS! Not to be rude but they need to get to the point ! I love details but not during a story of what happened that day.

[@jimmybeee5]

Exactly, what do I need to know? Give it to me. Folks that interject: ah, like, ya know 3 times in every simple sentence make me totally stop hearing anything.

[@omniXenderman]

@@jimmybeee5 that's actually a sign of anxiety and we tend to fall into that trap too, it's a placeholder word to give your mind time to sort out what you're trying to say, but it sucks because it breaks cohesion and efficiency of information transfer

[@dixbowman3452]

@@emilylednicky6718 but they can talk to their friends about it.

[@dixbowman3452]

@emily lednicky I don't understand why the partner is insistent on making the other partner the emotional dump space. Use your friends. I don't force what i like on my partner. I respect that they don't want to or can't handle it. Nts don't realize how draining and overwhelming they are. They are too needy emotionally .They always say they are more emotionally aware and mature then asd but they STILL rely on asd to validate their emotions . So are you asking a person who you know struggle to do something to do it if you know you are better? That's like asking a child to do your taxes and get mad when they mess it up.

[@dixbowman3452]

@emily lednicky we don't care about the hobbies interests friends coworkers and maybe their problems. I know that's harsh but it's true. If we can't DO anything about them we don't want to hear it or care. Your asking a person who can't relate -to relate in an instant. Our brains process way faster. I can predict what someone is going to say because everyone has a unique pattern. So all the extra details you think we need we don't need whereas another Nt would. Most of what a nt talks about is how offended they got at someone's tone and gossiping about others. How you feel about the special interests is how Asd feels about everything nt talks about. Plus all the emotional mood swings at Body language. Typically an asd is OK with verbal but all the other social cues tone of voice body language and facial expressions is too much at once. You have to understand you are speaking with hands eyes body and mouth while asd just has mouth. The thing is we have never related to anyone so when someone is interested in us we take it. We still have the human need for connection and love but we also struggle with reciprocating and receiving it and giving it. Usually an asd thinks acts of service is the love language and has no idea of the others.

[@51elephantchang]

I like the idea of the nt challenge because is it not equally true but generally ignored that nt's have mindblindness when it comes to aspies?

[@Hugo-dc9nd]

Exactlly! Noone talks about it and they're even worse, they don't try at all!

[@stephaniebrasovny7083]

I think it is best if a partner of an AS/ASD is a very independent woman who falls in love with this person without needing or expecting anything from him. A financially independent and highly emotional intelligent lady.

[@lisarubin94]

That's not a relationship. What good is having a relationship if there's no emotional reciprocity, intimacy, understanding, and deep connection? My ex is an aspie and it's just heartbreaking that she was incapable of doing those things. Not only that but she made me out to be the devil because she couldn't understand my feelings. It was all about her feelings and needs 100% of the time. It was exhausting, frustrating, and made me incredibly angry and resentful.

[@ulalyons9257]

I think you're right. This is my life with my husband.

[@Cajaquarius]

@@lisarubin94 You sure he is ASD and not a narcissist?

[@lisarubin94]

@@Cajaquarius well I'm positive she's on the spectrum- extreme sensitivity to certain noises, doesn't get sarcasm and some jokes. It's difficult to tell the difference between aspergers and narcissism. I've done a lot of research on it, and she is definitely a narcissist in some ways but is that because she has aspergers? I honestly don't know.

[@Cajaquarius]

@@lisarubin94 I am guessing you may know him but look up Sam Vaknin on KZbin. He is one of the best at teaching about narcissism and has it himself. There are big differences between Narcissism and ASD. You can have both, unfortunately, but people with ASD don't tend to also be narcissistic by default. It is unfortunate because, while a relationship with someone with ASD can work one with a narcissist can't. They will only ever see a non-narcissist as a source of narcissistic supply. Even if it was just ASD but they are unwilling to do the work, you were also right in breaking it off with them too. No sense staying in a loveless relationship, even if they were an NT. Life is too short for that. Good luck.

[@Thedesertguy75]

WEll, noone after a while wants to keep listening on and on and on.....if their thoughts or opinions aren't being questioned.... It just feels completely one sided, and though its not the aspies fault, its a tough one, but I guess that's where we NT need to politely interrupt to be heard too....IM sure most will stop and listen....

[@TheFearlessGirl108]

The irony is if the topic is of interest to him, i.e. talking about himself, he appers to have an unlimited amount of brain power and can be engaged, literally, for hours. ASDs are the epitomy of a self-absorbed narcissist.

[@nessaparra5360]

Yes feels like dealing more with a covert or vulnerable narcissist is what it feels like and the emotional damage in being with that is very traumatic. You are always feeling dismissed and blamed for everything and they want to remain the victim so they have to blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong. In a healthy relationship you must be able to self reflect and compromise for both partners to be happy in the relationship. I understand they might not do anything on purpose but it sure feels that way when they are self centered only want to make sure their needs are met and don't put yours into consideration becomes very one sided relationship.

[@markhigham9589]

Nope , maybe some people on the spectrum are like this as are others who get along in life / normal/ mundane . I , however will take great interest in my partners feelings and take full responsibility for anything I do wrong and try to change it with help and patience .

[@mikeg2491]

Women never get called out for their pathological desire for more likes and thumbs up on their Instagram but god forbid a guy likes to off into the garage for a few hours and paint models or whatever.