The Day I Broke My Ass

Listen to the Full Story Here ►► open.spotify.c...
Did you know that I used to do parkour? It went about as well as that episode of The Office...
Animated By ► / @haricz
More Animations ► • Markiplier Animated!

[@daffodildewdrop]

the animators did such a great job with this I literally could not stop laughing and now my stomach hurts 💀

[@AlmondNutria]

same lmao

[@eyahestuya9130]

Her name is Tooncee Go watch her videos their so funny and her art style is so impressive it keeps improving😊

[@snickerswo1f519]

@@eyahestuya9130 dont forget the background artist, Haricz!

[@randomwolfygirl]

Your stomach hurts??I got hiccups!

[@asmuth_1238]

@@eyahestuya9130 now I know why the art style seems familiar

[@ImperfectXIII]

"I look up, and they're gone" is the PERFECT punchline to this story.

[@nickenglehart6469]

They never even existed mark mind made em up just to have a reason to do parkour

[@raphi6817]

As all things should be.

[@bluelfsuma]

Nah, man. The best punchline is when Mark realizes he never saw broken ribs guy again.

[@LaurenT3G]

@Kavetion All you ever say in the comments is "I'm better than Markiplier". You ain't slick, dude.

[@Sheelovequann]

@@LaurenT3G Bro u know who else who makes videos that are also entertaining ? Mine just like markiplier hundred percent u will die of laughter bro

[@spiderdude2099]

This explains a lot about what kind of formative events led to Mark’s……completely nonexistent masochism….

[@oPo7126]

@Kavetion K

[@kalysian]

Nono he just knows his ass can take it.

[@affanfaizi786]

@MilesDaBurg brooooo this same kavetion guy come to penguinz0 channel and writes this same thing they he's better than penguinz0 in his comment section

[@necroyawn]

But he did find out that day how much his body can take

[@microwavebrain1035]

@Kavetion bet

[@leoa7927]

Fun(?) fact: Later in the podcast episode, Mark mentions that this may have legitimately led to back problems throughout his life

[@broblerone413]

yeah it almost certainly did, i injured myself in a similar way just falling from a chair, and it led to back problems, so an injury as serious as the one he got would definitely give him at least some back problems

[@caramelgirl6962]

Fact: don't jump if your friends do

[@masterreaper115]

@@caramelgirl6962 or if you do, roll forward

[@briciolaa]

@@masterreaper115 and then it only fucks up your shoulder!

[@NukelearFallout]

@@briciolaa He didn't ROLL! Did you even listen?

[@Joe_Mama.also_YTHandlessuckass]

Mark: I'm not a masochist Also Mark: **just throws himself off a two story ledge TWICE**

[@nostalgicat173]

@ahhh mate, you have 2 terraria videos that don't even look edited

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name🙄

[@genocidal-humanoidz]

what is a masochist

[@surrealmeme8344]

@@nostalgicat173 ignore them or report, they’re bots.

[@genocidal-humanoidz]

i’m not dumb i don’t speak good english

[@decrien]

hi, mild parkourist here. to put this animation into perspective the highest that the beginner 2 (so good but still learning) students at my gym drop and roll from is about 4 feet onto a mat, and most of them still mess up the timing. Mark dropped from 4x that height as his first time ever doing a shoulder roll. that is insane

[@JohnnyShagbot]

Still didn't die though!

[@jjpark98]

What doesn't kill you makes you realize how stupid you were in hindsight.

[@astrocake584]

@@JohnnyShagbot just busted his ass

[@jackb3822]

Yeah this place sounds like it has 30 lawsuits in the making

[@Ichengo42]

I feel like Mark is a very blessed man at this point, he's endured so much and came out on top like a champ, his positivity is something to behold.

[@lounielouna7556]

Parents: "If your friend jumped off a building would you?" Mark: You don't want me to answer that.

[@Fr0gg37]

LOL

[@antoniotethys69]

The funny part is that he probably wasn't even friend with them

[@littilwood]

Twice, at least. And those weren't even his friends. XD

[@woo9194]

I think the sirens might've been an ambulance for the kid who dropped down on his face.

[@killerclone2177]

yea

[@AngryNerdBird]

EXACTLY what I was thinking. lol

[@no-one...186]

Oooh that makes sense

[@IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature]

How was that not the immediate thought. I was thinking, did he call? Or did someone else call, after he passed out? Is he even alive? spinal injury likely.

[@atinofspam3433]

Well, at least where I live, Fire Engines, Ambulances and Police cars all have distinct sounding sirens

[@lucaswickmansound]

“It can’t be that hard” -Mark, before doing something he probably cannot do

[@Dovahkiin049]

@Kavetion not even slightly

[@msthecommentator2863]

Basically Unus Annus in a nutshell

[@Jezzibolt]

It’s a bot. Ignore and report. @ ing them makes them more active.

[@pinballwizard8216]

thats what she said

[@michaellynes3540]

Famous last words.

[@neonlights3739]

The fact that he not only fell, but did it because he 100% believed he was running from the cops is just the beautiful ribbon that ties this all together

[@Pharaoh_Tutankhamen]

ties my tomb shut

[@aaronhotchnerzoltfbi8085]

Lmao

[@cyphertale8091]

Yes.

[@yourboizheer]

True bro

[@partydave1067]

Well he was on the forbidden roof

[@whowhatwhenwherewhy3226]

This reminds me of the time my friend somehow convinced me to try out parkour. He wanted me to jump over a wall for my first move, and after one demonstration I attempted it. He was hyping me up and telling me to walk further back. I was so pumped and broke into a sprint. I managed to somehow jump at the wrong time and slammed into the wall full force. He was silent, and I just stood in front of the wall internally screaming until he said we should go back inside.

[@MissTwirlyBird]

Idk how people don’t fucking scream from the top of their lungs at that point, cuz i would🤣

[@happylittleloser]

@@MissTwirlyBird no air? I mean, once you've got stubbed-toe levels of pain, the sound you make is too high pitched for human ears

[@satgurs]

@@MissTwirlyBird pretty sure that the shock is preventing you from feeling too much of the pain, therefore you don't scream

[@joshua.h]

Parkour!

[@ilitsu..2397]

☝️☝️ Mark's new wife 😍😍😍

[@LoafyNeverClear]

I like how mark just casually says "Clearly, his ribs are broken."

[@zephyr1249]

I would love to see an entire show animated in this style

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@CaLypSO4456]

FR

[@gomitasgomin]

sameee

[@orion-in4vv]

yeah the only reason why I don't listen to distractable is bc I'm autistic and so I need to be looking at something and seeing something (preferably colorful, like an animation) in order to focus on it

[@LightGold]

@@orion-in4vv same

[@sumchipstarchy5469]

Omg the fact that Mark survived his childhood is crazy holy crap.

[@terrelldurocher3330]

These instances are actually quite survivable.

[@venkatkimidi2954]

I think its funnier cause I'm pretty sure this happened when he was in college.

[@cannon-evans]

@@venkatkimidi2954 yes, it did. This was when he really wanted to make friends in college. That’s why he went with it at all lol

[@solus8685]

Kids are almost indestructible

[@friendcomputer2293]

He was too poor too die.

[@miguelmenegola6942]

I've done parkour for a while and hearing this makes me both laugh my ass off and really mad at the same time . I really hope that dude who was supposed to "coach" you got hit by karma as hard as you hit your butt because THAT'S NOT how you introduce a newbie or an amateur at this discipline.

[@DavidFletcher08]

ESPECIALLY the fact it was all concrete.. I cringed hearing that after the "beginner" geez

[@salemcrow5078]

@@Narble_is_unavailable Is this not basic knowledge every child is equipped with? Smh /s

[@michaelbecket4901]

*BREAKING NEWS PRO PARKOURER BREAKS HIS ASS AFTER ABANDONING A HEAVILY INJURED STUDENT*

[@JoeJW89]

You might say he didn't half-ass the first landing. He went full ass...

[@rebeccacummings6697]

He probably WAS a newbie himself. And why does everyone talk about this karma? Do people actually believe in luck and karma and all that? It's brought up often.

[@lovely8524]

I am astonished that mark survived childhood

[@IRefuseToUseThisStupidFeature]

This is the power of diverse genetics.

[@MrHikari13]

I mean, considering his story about how when him and his brother were at a park when he was a kid he broke his arm and then tried to set it back in place and the doctor was like you almost did this completely right

[@crowparent6481]

As someone who's actually broken my tailbone TWICE, the no pain at first Mark described is accurate. The pain doesn't come until the next day and it's a horrible feeling to wake up to

[@monkeetoe1657]

I hope to never experience that

[@crowparent6481]

@@monkeetoe1657 The horrible thing is, it's really easy to break your tailbone. And it's hurts like hell to sit down-

[@sillyWilliam24]

He talks about it in the podcast. He was in excruciating pain the next day. He was luckily he didn’t end up disable from that stunt.

[@scoundral2995]

@@crowparent6481 From a scale from one to twenty how would you rate it?

[@crowparent6481]

@@scoundral2995 Painwise? Standing up, about a mid way 10, sitting down, it changes but it rates from a 14 to a 18 for me.

[@sadaharu3170]

I love waking up to Mark explaining how he broke his ass Edit: To those wonderin I did wake up late and a few minutes before the video posted. My sleep schedule is messed up so I wake up later

[@PeekinBlyne]

I know. At least there are glimmers of light in this dark world like Mark

[@IM_ROZZ_YT.O1]

1

[@TheRealMagicMan]

lmao

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@unknwn47]

@ahhh nobody asked

[@sandman94]

I'm convinced Mark just put all of his skillpoints into Endurance and nothing else.

[@guardian08527]

It would explain how he could put up with the madness of the FNAF games for hours on end each day. Mark just dumped all exp points into Endurance and he just strong armed the RNG of the FNAF games until he beat the 20 modes.

[@thaliacrafts407]

Zero dex build

[@jameswillis4413]

He has a good spread through all of his stats, he just has a shit ton of buffs to his endurance thought items and quests. Such as breaking his ass, shoving his hand into a bee bush, and playing on a thin frozen lake.

[@Godasdogas]

@North was just about to say

[@zephyajane9108]

Markiplier build for elden ring

[@MADLabs]

So, I went to a parkour gym once and my experience was somewhat similar to Mark's. Well, without the cops bit. This was an actual gym with padded floors and proper climbing equipment to practice on safely. Not the sink-or-swim approach of falling off the side of a parking garage. It was front flip day. The set up was a 15-ish foot stretch of mats, then a short barrier (probably 1.5 - 2 feet tall) and then a set mats behind it to land on. Similar to Mark, I'd also made a... calculated error. I'd never done a proper front flip before; Only ever into a swimming pool. Otherwise, I had no parkour experience, whatsoever. I'd seen people do flips, watched some videos on how to do flips, and understood the basics of how to do a flip successfully. So I'd thought. And so, we were all lined up taking turns flipping over this obstacle. Everyone's doing fine. Perfect front flip after perfect front flip. Then, it was my turn to go. I take a second to kind of figure out my approach. Figure out what foot I'm going to start on, how I'm going to launch into this thing, and then I just go for it. As I'm running up to the barricade, all I'm thinking is, "Okay, I just need to get my ass over my head. Once I'm there, reflexes will take over." I cleared the barrier, ass over head, exactly as planned. I started bringing the feet around, so far so good. Then, I landed FLAT on my ass. To my surprise, it didn't hurt quite like a bitch. It hurt like 5 bitches. It felt like I'd been fist-fucked by Edward Scissorhands. It felt like I was now 3 inches shorter than before I made questionable life choices. A couple onlookers heard my "OW, FUCK!" distress call and promptly dragged my assless remains back to the starting area. I didn't break anything, thankfully. It only hurt for a few days, and I was fine. However, I realized right then and there that maybe parkour is not my thing. I like being able to walk comfortably and unassisted. I haven't been back since, nor have I attempted any parkour-related stunts since then. And I have no intention to.

[@wayward_gamer2342]

I feel bad for you but YOUR DESCRIPTION WAS HILARIOUS THANK YOU FOR SHARING

[@sadrabbit53]

Your "assless remains" 😂😂😭

[@5Mayday5]

This was written so well- I'm shocked

[@ComfyChaos]

I’m so glad you weren’t seriously hurt! Also, your entire description was insanely HILARIOUS! I almost choked at “fist-fucked by Edward Scissorhands” 😂😂😂 Thank you for a well needed laugh today. You write so well and I hope you continue to do so because you’ve got talent! Thanks again ☺️

[@wolfyboy]

What did you land on tha was that hard? Wasn't everything padded?

[@madisonaustin9394]

"If all your friends jumped off a building, would you?" Markiplier: yes, twice.

[@DefiantPunk0810]

Even worse, he barely knew those guys

[@Lia_3078]

Not even his friends, they were strangers.

[@pbjsandwich1970]

Love how they weren’t even his friends they were complete strangers

[@imadoinwat8994]

They weren’t even his friends!

[@marupruma1813]

* is already jumping off *

[@mikeroconsole]

Mark: People might mistake me for some sort of a masochist Also Mark: I jumped from two buildings two stories up on the same day and broke my ass and dislocated my shoulder

[@ownedbypandas8142]

Also mark: Chica smash Also mark: owns body pillow of big vampire lady Also mark: proceeds to beat head with Amazon self defence product Also mark: I can take a trolley

[@AngelicZelda444]

@@ownedbypandas8142 Lol how is this man not dead?! 😭😂

[@mikeroconsole]

@@ownedbypandas8142 Also Mark: whips himself in the arm with Amazon self defense product

[@Skijaramaz]

@@mikeroconsole Also Mark: Goes for runs in the middle of the night in the darkest part of town with headphones in his ears playing zombie noises because it makes it more 'interesting.'

[@mikeroconsole]

@@Skijaramaz Also Mark: eats sour candy until his tongue bleeds while also shocking himself for the sake of views

[@napalaprentice]

Markiplier: "Im not a masochist!" Also Markiplier: *jumps off a building*

[@hansuketakahashi0009]

HAHA!

[@KatT962]

No no. Not just one building. Two 😂

[@ToriCake95]

That's not being a masochist, though-

[@Alexandra91572]

twise.

[@ProgramViBee]

@@ToriCake95 I dunno, I’ve been falling on my ass for 2 years and I’d say it’s pretty nice

[@sophiejleigh]

1:13 bob’s “oh god” holds years of life experience with mark

[@boopinoop4545]

When I first heard this story, i didn’t register that it was a parking garage so I wasn’t that scared hearing it originally, but seeing it animated really REALLY gets it through my skull the sheer stupidity of the whole arrangement and that mark is one lucky guy

[@bensoncheung2801]

420 👍

[@BoltMoonSteven]

What was the original episode called?

[@GlitterPrince]

@@BoltMoonSteven The episode is "Hold My Beer". It's linked in the description.

[@YUKILOID39]

If being in that situation in the first place can even be CALLED luck, then most certainly it was lucky

[@blackeyedincubus]

Actually the floor kisser was the lucky guy... 😅

[@Jiareirda]

I’m surprised by the lack of people commenting on how the police that were “after” them were probably the ambulance and first responders taking the first guy to the hospital.

[@FullArcher05]

I never thought of that. Maybe it was.

[@ownedbypandas8142]

I commented on that lmao

[@rabbit0664]

I could hope

[@circumplex9552]

thats what I thought

[@makeda6530]

I was wondering if that was the case

[@Awesomemay]

my jaw literally dropped when he said everyone was gone

[@quandaredevil]

HOLD UP I immediately recognized your username from SKIT! way back in the day!! It's so good to see your content starting to thrive and seeing you verified and everything man 😭

[@Willowmother]

Lul

[@orangutan8125]

YOU

[@Willowmother]

@@orangutan8125 Nani!? Did I do?

[@Willowmother]

Oh

[@bumbabees]

as someone who was VERY careful and cautious as a child because of my overprotective mother, these stories astonish me. I was always too afraid to make stupid life-threatening decisions like this so most of my injuries come from being clumsy lmao.

[@concept5631]

Same, except without the overprotective bit.

[@rowanmorris2526]

As a purely accident-prone child who PERPETUALLY had a broken ass, busted knees, and scraped elbows...this story was made for me. This was perfect.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name🙄

[@Vidishness]

nice

[@CraZyK1d]

Oh ho god I hope nothing bad happened after its good you got through it

[@spongeman1512]

Good 4 you kid

[@RPK-16.]

Damn..

[@valmid5069]

New things learned: 1. Always bring a spare mattress if doing outdoor parkour 2. Never freak out if you hear police sirens 3. *Remember the time Mark broke his butt*

[@awildhorrorartist]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC hush.

[@theresahonig1240]

@Kavetion wow

[@bv657]

This comment has 999 likes and the comment right above it has 666 likes wow

[@gothicfemboy428]

I am a god over these mortals. Subscribe now!!!

[@azurius4507]

@Kavetion can you jump from the second floor without landing on your ass?

[@AnAvidAtheist]

Ah yes, the fractured-ass maneuver. Only the most intrepid of adventurers are capable of such a sophisticated feat. Clearly, mark performed this task flawlessly and should be appraised as such.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name🙄

[@prabeshrai746]

@@dontreadprofilephoto1728 ok

[@TimeMasterOG]

reprimands are a bad thing he should be commended :)

[@onedova2298]

It's like "SUPER HERO LANDING BUT ON MY ASS"

[@StardomSeeker]

As soon as I read “fractured-ass maneuver”, I just died laughing

[@Z.O.M.G]

Tbh for someone who didn't know how to tuck and roll, but had to jump, he did the right thing. If he tried the tuck and roll he could have broken his back or skull

[@Spamkromite]

When I heard this back in then I was like speechless. The first rule of parkour is not starting to jump everywhere reining your balance, is to know HOW TO FALL and how to use your feet and legs for maximum dampening of all the force your weight swings with. Damn, even in karate and in a circus, all acrobatics are learnt first knowing how to fall, roll, stuff to avoid falling flat on vital organs and joints. Mark lives in a lawless zone or he didn't care because he likes to feel pain on the run. Fun animation though.

[@M_Alexander]

Heck when I got talked into trying roller derby and had to learn how to skate, one of the first things they taught was how to fall

[@charlesgeorge151]

hey i'm sure you don't mean to harm anyone but maybe credit The Winterer for your pfp in the description? it's always good to credit the artist

[@marick4201]

This is a story that happened when Mark and Bob were in college.

[@labrat5457]

@the real princess daddy someones lonely without friends

[@gothicfemboy428]

I am a god over these mortals. Subscribe now!!!

[@sean..L]

Having the breath knocked out of you is one of the most terrifying feelings there is. First there is the shock and panic of having just fallen and then you are trying to gasp for air but your body won't let you breathe at all, truly awful.

[@nxellee]

Yep. rugby player here. terrifying when someone lays you out and then you cannot breathe after.

[@minionleadergru]

yes tht happened to me during a basketball game i thought i was gonna die 😭

[@doot_the_root]

I fall out of trees. A lot. They say you can get used to the feeling but trust me, you cant

[@fatherwardsleftshoe]

Happened to me when I was playing soccer, got hit in the stomach with the ball and couldn't breathe

[@partyisanidiot9941]

bro I fell trying to wash a golf cart and got the wind knocked out of me, I legit only made it worse because I was laughing so hard it sounded like "HA_HAHAGYSHG--HAHAHkl;hjlkj;flasd."

[@luckyinky7849]

The descriptions by Mark and the animation managed to hurt me physically, I had a huge pain sensation on the bottom of my back when he landed on the ground.

[@SamuelBlack84]

I already have an injured back which doesn't help

[@mr_vicepresident]

@@SamuelBlack84 yeah me too lol. My back is actually injured by that vertebrae that was shown in the animation lol

[@DeathOfAMartyr3]

He almost definitely broke his back, it's almost exactly how my dad described breaking his.

[@jjcrossingd9565]

When he hit the ground I ACTUALLY felt that. It hurts like HELL. NO JOKE

[@midnightthoughts8519]

I bruised my tailbone attempting something like this and I felt that pain slightly return when that scene played lmao

[@ana7icia]

it's crazy to me how enduring mark is 😭 he just cannot die. also love the ultra detailed frames lol

[@msthecommentator2863]

The fact that they just...let the guy walk off despite obviously having his ribs shattered was insane to me, imagine if that was the last time they saw that kid. 😭

[@user-2012July-A]

It was.

[@Descendant404]

but why are u crying ?

[@sirfrog3579]

Bro those weren't cops, those were Doctors mannnn

[@digstrememcdingus1463]

Oh it was, Mark just doesn't realise until the podcast

[@sirfrog3579]

Oh, So I was right, Thanks mate,

[@alduniaphoenix6464]

God you HAVE to listen to the WHOLE story on the distractible podcast man, there's So MANY gems clipped from this story. You totally cut out the part where Mark was COSPLAYING as a Parkour enthusiast, like ran out and bought the whole outfit just to show up for his first time. Also, the story that comes right after in this episode is so good.

[@burgerman3634]

Which episode is this?

[@Pp-ez7yi]

@@burgerman3634 I think it’s dumb things they have done in their teenage years? Or hold my beer.

[@demonslayer5122]

@@Pp-ez7yi It's hold my beer

[@charapresscott7750]

It's also the same episode as the bed lofting story.

[@josselyndeleon1812]

this episode was literally amazing 😂

[@juliangates6990]

As an actual parkour coach, this pains me, a real coach would never put his students in danger like that

[@scoundral2995]

How much do you wanna bet that the guy who was running the thing was just a student with some decent knowledge of how to do parkour?

[@Kath2378]

@@scoundral2995 I wanna bet everything, he clearly didn't know how to teach beginners and was really irresponsible not caring for Mark and the other guy who injured himself at all

[@scoundral2995]

@@Kath2378 Basically thought that if they see him do it, they’ll instantly know what to do. Which is pretty stupid assuming this is a real story.

[@Constable_Chud]

*Cobra Kai'd*

[@JoeJW89]

Nothing quite says "beginner course" like a 2nd story parking garage, right?

[@Volker528]

He’s a legend. Breaks his bones just to do cool stunts, actually a legend

[@R0ZUE]

You were lucky you didn't get paralyzed holy shit, cause I've seen people get paralyzed just from falling off their chair that's when you know you are the main character so lucky

[@mn7263q]

It’s when they lane on their spine tho innit

[@ashleytrout7452]

That’s called story shield

[@TheMoonlight1711]

@@ashleytrout7452 you mean plot armor?

[@ashleytrout7452]

@@TheMoonlight1711 yeah

[@leoa7927]

Fun(?) fact: Later in the podcast episode, Mark mentions that this may have legitimately led to back problems throughout his life

[@asleepyb0i400]

It astonishes me how Mark lived to adulthood, and keeps on living. This man must have just put every skill point into his endurance stat, as well as a couple extra lives on the side.

[@themanbehindtheslaughter8064]

he always comes back

[@МартинТемелакиев]

copycat

[@asleepyb0i400]

@Мартин Темелакиев I got news for you, Buddy. Completely original comments and thoughts don’t exist. We don’t all think differently 👍

[@iron_Will]

Mark's pump stats: Strength, Constitution, Charisma Mark's dump stats: Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom

[@Memezuii]

he farmed for totems of undying

[@real-dv6tz]

Calling this “beginners” parkour is like calling a pro athlete “average.”

[@MysticLuxray]

Ikr how the fuck was this course even allowed xD

[@MsScarletwings]

@the real princess daddy 🥱

[@kameronjones7139]

@kuyswe cringe you replied to a bot

[@-Commit-arson-]

We need a count of how many Times Mark has been in the hospital because it is starting to become a problem if it isn’t already

[@sadrabbit53]

It's long been a problem

[@the_crystalg7111]

so, I've done tumbling in Martial Arts, which is tucking and rolling, and him talking about landing on his shoulder reminded me of when I was doing it for a demonstration practice, with all of my classmates around me, and i go and land on my shoulder heard one singular pop, then ringing, then got up went back in line to go again and the ringing stopped. All of the sudden, i felt nothing but pain in my shoulder, and turns out i had broken my Clavicle (collarbone) and i will say that it SUCKS, you are not allowed to move your arm AT ALL.

[@relaine]

the gasp that escaped my mouth when i read "clavicle"

[@iandominiclagman7546]

Was it judo?

[@nekogod]

Agreed on the suckage, broke my collarbone as a kid.

[@MrCoffeeJug]

Not even to romance the bone?

[@JustSamYT]

Damn bro

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

The only thing missing from this animation is where Bob comes back to their dorm and finds Mark lying on his bunk with a destroyed shoulder, fully decked out in Mirror's Edge parkour gear.

[@monicar4721]

YES I WISH THIS ANIMATION HAD INCORPORATED HIS PARKOUR GEAR

[@abimonkeyy8348]

Mirrors edge is awesome

[@matthewtalbot6505]

Mark and bob were literally roommates their freshman year at college in Cincinnati.

[@person5949]

@@HiddenRealm In the full distractible episode they mention that Mark and Bob were roommates at the time.

[@master0fh0rr0r]

Also the part where they ask if he ever saw that other guy again, and he goes “oh my god… no.”

[@hahan2052]

I feel SO BAD for laughing at the guy who landed on his face, I hope he's fine

[@yates3815]

I'm sure the "police sirens" were from an ambulance coming to pick him up.

[@NuggDavis]

He ded

[@elpistachio]

Mark said he never saw him again.

[@sirfrog3579]

@@elpistachio can confirm sinti watched the full thing, also it's kinda sad tbh

[@bradyblue5269]

He died

[@stefanib.4283]

This is a good one to animated. Visuallizing this made it way more painful in my brain then when I heard it

[@Chirpysemperboy]

"I got this." - Markiplier, said about something he most assuredly does not have. Followed by the sequel: "I know what I did wrong last time." - Markiplier, clearly not learning his lesson

[@G0LDN5]

I don't think he ever learns lessons, he just remembers them. And then once he does something wrong he remembers that he did it wrong before. Like playing rage games, for example.

[@ericwilson-musicandcovers8576]

I feel like Mark still does this. I don't have any concrete examples but I feel like he still does it

[@rcinpact4480]

Shoulder roll is meant to slow the momentum when dropping so you don’t..we’ll you know.. have the sudden stop of the ground break your legs. The point of rolling isn’t style point, it’s so you can safely reach the ground. The faster you roll the less inpact your feet will have. But this doesn’t mean you should jump off the Empire State Building and expect the same treatment. As a graduated parkour student at HUB I can definitely say that rolling off that height will save you but will still hurt a bit. so there’s no cheating gravity, lol.

[@thaliacrafts407]

Well, technically he did slow his momentum. Very, very abruptly.

[@krel7160]

I've never parkoured before but I accidentally did a perfect roll once. I was heading down the backyard of my family's ranch if you can call it that, running a bit faster than I probably should've been because I was being impatient and just had to check on something. Well, I'm running and I end up tripping on something, probably a vine on the ground - might've been a snake or a twig, you know how it be on them southern ranches - and so I'm falling and every nerve in my brain just said "This is ridiculous. I just want to check what's got the dog riled up. I'm falling? No. I'm not falling. I'm gonna keep going." And so I fell and just THREW my weight into my shoulder and rolled so passive aggressively that the momentum carried me back onto my feet.. and I just kept going. More annoyed at the inconvenience of tripping than I was of falling. And I don't think I could replicate it if I tried..

[@decrien]

holy shit, im a current hub student! its crazy to see another one out in the wild.

[@hirigone]

@@krel7160 Adrenaline is a hell of a drug

[@brainnotdetectedhurdedur]

@@decrien what is HUB?

[@frank-nx6vj]

The "Broke my ass" trilogy will be completed once Jack uploads one in the future

[@eva1585]

excuse me "trilogy?"

[@Muip]

​@@eva1585​i think pewds had a story ages ago about him breaking his own ass

[@eva1585]

@@Muip Oh i see lol thanks. My first thought was that it's happened 3 times to Mark with this being the third one.

[@TheWwjd95]

Share playlist??

[@TheDragon0102]

2:00 XD I wont lie, this gets me every time just hearing the inner Mark scream.

[@1tankdestroyer778]

Mark “I’m not a masochist” Also Mark: so I broke my butt… so I went up anther building and jumped off that one too

[@stitchlover4381]

This time broke his shoulder. Probably 🤔

[@1tankdestroyer778]

@@stitchlover4381 he just wanted to see if his shoulder could take it

[@stitchlover4381]

@@1tankdestroyer778 I mean I'm surprised his ass did. Tho I watched that episode of distractible I don't know if he said happened to that kid that broke his ribs.

[@bigpapa2540]

Jumping off a parking garage yelling “PARKOUR” while evading police is something only Mark would do.

[@GirlsBravoFan21]

And Harry Dresden.

[@MegaChickenfish]

Mark and apparently 3 other guys.

[@AFoolWhoPlaysItCool]

bro this entire reply section is full of bots :|

[@GrandmaBrownieChocolate]

This would make a good Netflix show. A bunch of stories narrated by Mark.

[@textme7770]

CONGRATS 🎉🎉 YOU HAVE BEEN PICKED AMONGST MY WINNER'S DM THE NUMBER ABOVE ⬆️⬆️ ⬆️🥉🥉🎁 💯🎁🎁 🥳🥳

[@nightmarewolf7632]

yes

[@Cloudycolette]

Yes

[@WorldWalker128]

certainly better than most of the garbage they have these days.

[@robjohnsonmusicandgaming]

2:17 OMFG this animator is brilliant xD

[@Peshy_]

This was my favourite story in the entire series so far, and somehow this animation has made it even funnier, now I wish the entire “Hold My Beer” episode was animated like this because that has so many funny stories.

[@sheepslug]

It's one of my favorite episode of the podcast, and I wish it got more appreciation!

[@astro_crux5994]

Hold my beer is one of my favorite episodes they ever did, we need more of these stories in another episode

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@armoredaustin4127]

@@Alexアレックス I wanna refund I didn’t die

[@ashleyr6809]

@@armoredaustin4127 it's a bot. Report them for spam.

[@CleoPhoenixRT]

I want to hear more of Bob and Mark's college stories. That episode was golden.

[@CleoPhoenixRT]

@🌹•Y0ūr_.Em0_Ånīme_Wåīfú• 🌹 Yeah those bots are annoying.

[@luisn642]

Which episode, I haven’t been catching up with them

[@CleoPhoenixRT]

@@luisn642 this was from "Hold My Beer"

[@thezekroman]

"How much you wanna bet he lost his parkour coaching license?" "How much do you wanna bet he didn't have one to lose?"

[@boomerhunter5705]

I have a feeling that Markiplier is telling us a story about the day he broke his ass.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@Gulmanzo66]

@@dontreadprofilephoto1728 ok

[@coolperson6696]

valid

[@nathanschmitt2457]

@@dontreadprofilephoto1728 gixkhfusbohdis

[@haruki4k]

I'm really surprised that Pewdiepie isn't the only one that broke their ass

[@jordanhuemoeller8945]

My favorite part of this episode is when Bob asks Mark if they ever saw the other dude (dude that landed on his face) again, and Mark took a second, and said "No...". Then all three of them assumed that he was completely and totally dead.

[@verdantmistral442]

Or that the sirens they heard might have been an ambulance.

[@kovalfetterer2218]

Animations I want to see next: 1. Milford Chainsaw Massecure 2. Bobs dating advice story where he almost killed a girl with a heart condition in the parking lot 3. Bob and his friends getting pulled over by cops while being dressed as pirates

[@HKtraidon]

Which distractibles are these? I need to catch up?

[@kovalfetterer2218]

@@HKtraidon Supernatural, Dating Advice, disappointing our parents

[@ImperfectXIII]

I want to see a fanmade intro for Morbid Mysteries of the Missing Millennium. "I turned around..."

[@Cat-pw5qr]

The third one is one I really wanna see, I was laughing so much after that one. Another one that would be funny (and disgusting) to see is the time Mark's roomba killed itself.

[@sternheim2048]

That and Wade destroying the competition with his "F your dreams, F your nightmares" moment in law school.

[@genxoxo2263]

I was only two seconds in and i was already in tears. This was the best 5mins and 9secs of my life. I haven’t had a good laugh like that in so long. Thanks Mark. What a Great story.

[@hallowchromee8977]

my man started crying when mark said “so its freshmen yeah”💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@Evan.Singharaj]

I haven’t heard many stories of people trying parkour for the first time and getting injured, so hearing this and seeing it animated is a masterpiece Edit: I got like 2 notifications for someone liking my comment lmao. Glad all of you feel the same

[@zinuhenasirupize9871]

@Kavetion W h a t .

[@oPo7126]

@Kavetion K

[@coreyford3556]

@Kavetion Creamy and Crunch

[@SamuelBlack84]

Parkour is an absolutely insane and utterly stupid thing to do

[@JustSamYT]

lol yeah

[@NateSchulte]

My favorite part about this whole episode is when Mark says, “and I look up, and they’re gone.” It just so perfect. The sound of betrayal, disappointment and unbelief in his voice at the end of that statement is like a line in a sitcom

[@matthewherndon6488]

Bob's laugh at 4:33 gives me life

[@SeanJAnimations]

Same here, its so good!

[@jumbojimbo41801]

Mark, I love you man, but I don’t think anyone will ever be as good at destroying your body as you are. It’s honestly a real talent.

[@GippyHappy]

The chunky kid that also never did Parkour before was in his own show watching the other guys fail while he was miraculously triumphant. He really feels like a main character.

[@white52]

OMG TOTHEARK MARBLE HORNETS COMMENTOR GUY HIII

[@bluelfsuma]

He's the main character of the anime. Mark is the main character of the sitcom.

[@GippyHappy]

@@white52 lol is that my official title

[@spaomalley]

Once I landed directly on my tailbone on a rail when skating. It hurt so incredibly badly. This was about 5 mins before I was supposed to go see Star Wars ep. 2 in the theater. I was in so much pain I don't recall any of the movie. It hurt to walk, I could barely sit. It was an intense, throbbing pain. I swear I broke something.

[@authenticskyrat]

i think he broke something guys

[@ultrabigfella]

That could just be that you watched Episode 2.

[@mordo1191]

I feel you man, I really do. One time I went to take the dogs out for a walk and slipped on wet wood, I directly fell on my tailbone for the 2nd time in my life. It hurt so badly I could barely breath. For a week straight I couldn't sit down normally or lay on my back. Even a month after that I still had issues. To this day my back still hurts if I sit to long...

[@KainYusanagi]

@@mordo1191 Sounds like you had a bad fracture that set improperly. Should get some x-rays.

[@MamaToFive1971]

@@KainYusanagi The problem is that they can't do a damn thing for a tailbone fracture (except ice it and sit on soft pillows)...which SUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKS because even bumping it too hard (not even fracturing it) hurts like a mudderfooker. That is so painful. Takes your breath away. I so empathize with anyone who has done this stupidity.

[@pintsizedpete]

You know its gonna be stupidly funny when Mark talks about his silly adventures and experiences as a manchild

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@Cdubberz]

This was in his adulthood though, in college

[@Takejiro24]

Young adulthood..... So, childhood But with extra steps 😂☠

[@somebody7185]

"You see, we were poor."

[@emreozerdem8509]

@@Cdubberz that awkward phase between adulthood and childhood

[@Mickeii617]

I'm really stuck at the fact that this video didn't stop @3:15 yeah basically saw someone almost killed themselves and went right back

[@natthevilone]

I cried while watching, props to the animators as well, they added so much to the comedy. I tried to hold my laughter, because my brother is sleeping, but that just made everything even funnier. This story is just *chef's kiss*

[@brandoncutler09]

I suffocated from the video. It was too funny! 🤣🤣🤣

[@DogsWithPurpose]

I love young Mark’s ambition such as “It can’t be that hard!”, really set up for stuff about him later in life

[@mellissamercado7904]

I'm glad I've always been cautious because I've never brown a bone doing risky silly things, and that will set me up for life in old age lol.ive had maybe one sprain over the course of decades.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

At this point, I'm convinced Markiplier is either: 1: A reincarnated Olympian God who is constantly facing struggle/injury, only to return unharmed, perhaps stronger. 2: A missing member of the cast of Jackass, who still thinks the show is running 3: A guy who just has no real sense of hurt/bodily harm, so overestimates confidence before a stunt or joke, leading to injury 4: Scorpius from Farscape if he weren't an alien- i.e. a masochist or 5: Just straight-up accident prone

[@igobyfewnames1104]

He is definitely a missing cast member of Jackass, there is no doubt about it.

[@StuffandThings_]

Why not all at once?

[@AzureRoxe]

He's 100% a secret Jackass member taking into account all the shit he does that involves pain and somehow goes "yep, i'm alright!"

[@thejasminedragonmerchant6843]

Uh, I think the correct answer is ALL OF THESE 😅

[@usagifang]

I say he's all of the above.

[@Natural_Black_Man]

2:52 🤣🤣🤣

[@Imnotsmg4bob]

Mark: **explains how he broke his trunk and scapula** Me, holding onto my ass and shoulder for dear life: *I won't let them take you.*

[@dontreadmyprofilepicture960]

Don't read my name!!!!

[@cole6843]

"Ow my scapula!" Carl Wheezer

[@Pizzacade]

Huge props to the animator. I LOVE this art style. Every character has a unique look.

[@connor48880]

I was hoping to see Mark in his parkour getup, but honestly putting him in normal-ass clothes makes it way funnier.

[@PhoenixPrime]

This story and animation gave me a MUCH needed laugh after these last couple of weeks. Thanks, Mark!!!!

[@diztractedd]

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO BE ANIMATED I LOVE THIS DISTRACTIBLE STORY SO MUCH !!

[@Aki-gb8gm]

SAME THO

[@Tariqblox1]

@ahhh ugly bot + ratio + did I ask

[@fuzy7153]

Which episode is it?

[@heatherfeather2008]

@@fuzy7153 It's from Hold My Beer, I believe.

[@fuzy7153]

@@heatherfeather2008 thanks

[@TheMeganekkoSan]

Now we know why Mark and Felix are successful. They both have broken their asses. I surmise that Sean too has broken his ass and he's just not telling us. The three Assmigos.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name🙄

[@cedricleeakadominic]

I guess the secret to success is truly to go out there and bust our asses!

[@kalysian]

I wasn't gonna like but you got me with "Assmigos" 🤣

[@MamaToFive1971]

AHAHA I see what you did there lmfao! Good one. :)

[@sugarplum3338]

@@cedricleeakadominic oh noooooo I drank to much milk now my bones are pure titanium.

[@Nia_was_here]

the distractible animations are my favourite, they always make the stories so funny it's amazing

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name🙄

[@KainYusanagi]

Only way I consume Distractible content, tbh. Just not a podcast kinda guy, so getting these animations is great.

[@Nia_was_here]

@@KainYusanagi agreed, although I love the podcasts so I can say I'm very much a podcast kind of guy

[@KainYusanagi]

@@Nia_was_here It's not just Distractible that I can't do, it's any podcasts. I'm rather envious of people that can do that, TBH; I need to focus on it instead of just having it on in the background, but without any visuals, it's NG for me. Like, I could read transcripts no problem, but not just listen to someone reading a transcript, either.

[@Nia_was_here]

@@KainYusanagi that's interesting! I'm like completely the opposite, I like having things I can have on in the background while I do stuff or I can't really get into it !

[@einatpeled-katz4800]

4:18 MY BABY BLUE AAAA

[@maxTheTimeSlasher]

1:44 that caught me off guard 💀.

[@HalfBreadChaos]

The goal of the roll is to disperse as much of the impact across your body as possible, so it's not all concentrated in one spot and busting bones. If you find yourself in this situation (2nd story, 0 rolling capacity) then the 2nd most useful thing would be a break-fall. But let's say you've never done that either and need the babiest easiest thing possible that *might* still leave you with some bones. Okay here's the plan: Land on your feet and lean forward, but keep yours knees nice and loose, your goal is to immediately let your legs collapse so you can fall forward. You know the gesture you make when you want to pretend to be cat? (hand by your head, palm facing out, so you can go "meow meow!") That's right, we're gonna make like a cat (who always lands on his feet) and nyan-nyan as we fall. (Keep your palms flat though or you may break a knuckle). Fall forward, and let your nyan-arms help cushion the impact so you don't bust a rib. Finally most important: Turn your head to your side before it impacts the ground or you WILL bust a nose. So make like a Jesus-cat and turn the other cheek. TLDR! Be the nyan-cat: land *lightly* on your feet, surrender the knees, nyan with your arms, fall forward, face cheek to ground.

[@silvertheorist]

Can't decide if this is more cursed or more informative

[@iclynnx]

Thanks for the information, sir / ma'am 👌 Might use that if I regret j- never mind not gonna make that joke 😅

[@MissOnana]

Thank you so much for not only explaining a good way to approach this with minimal training, but also explaining it in a way that is UNDERSTANDABLE. Am I gonna try this now, armed with info? Absolutely not. But am I glad I know just in case? Hell yeah!

[@shadowraven137]

only problem i can see is people "nyan'ing" as they fall. otherwise great info.

[@queenizunia3145]

Informative and gave me the phrases "Jesus-Cat" and "Nyan-arms", what more could i ask for

[@ark9542]

"Don't worry, I'm an expert" - Mark right before he does something stupid or hurt himself

[@wolfyboy]

Mark almost crying: "They fuckin' destroyed my body, then bailed!" XD

[@blacktemplar1139]

The fact that he didn't feel any pain when he fell 2 stories into the ground shows you how strong mark truly is

[@jixchel7562]

or he was just in shock from adrenalin lol

[@lilliesupreme9767]

He was in shock

[@charalore5764]

you really dont feel it until the next day

[@stellamariss3335]

That’s how it is with a broken ass actually you don’t feel immediately

[@NasikaSakura]

Yeah, no, shock is a hell of an experience. Was in a four car pile up. The car I was in was TOTALLED. I however felt FINE. Walked for my graduation right after and then went to the ER after that. Felt absolutely fine. The next day? Can't walk. Couldn't walk for two weeks. Physical therapy and six years later, I still sometimes need a walking cane in my 20s. Shock, man.... Crazy sheet.

[@Wmann]

The animation is just so good and it fits the story well, I love it.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@BeeboBones]

taking "my broke ass" to a whole new level, mark

[@b_tchboi8689]

@Hannah Smith LMAO

[@b_tchboi8689]

@Hannah Smith *appluads*

[@TaraPlayz]

Nothing like a funny and entertaining video made by Mark, oh the memories, this is what the king of fnaf is capable of, being this funny, props to the animators and mark for this quality piece of entertainment

[@BirchMonkey857]

The two bits I wish had made it in: 1. His parkour outfit 2. "Remember when we killed those two guys?"

[@MrNo1fan]

I had some similar accident many years ago and seemed to be fine for a few years but now around 15 years later I got permanent back problems, 24/7 pain, I had to go a lot of times to get treatments for my spine and I have to be careful not lifting stuff to heavy. Trust me Mark, you WILL have problems later on, it may take 10-20+ years but those old wounds will come out at some point. I hope you won't get anything bad related to that accident in the future cause I know how intense the pain can be. 🙏

[@lowkeyfeliks7687]

He did say later in that episode that after that anytime he was working out his spine he would be in so much pain he'd have to go lay down on the bathroom floor for a while to recover. And he didn't have insurance so he just. didn't do anything about it.

[@ilitsu..2397]

☝️☝️ Mark's new wife 😍😍😍

[@madeliner1682]

@@lowkeyfeliks7687 American healthcare system ftw

[@sonicexer1856]

Oh wow, this animation looks insanely well done. And it's a story from Mark. Perfection.

[@dontreadprofilephoto1728]

Dont read my name......

[@ناصرالحربي-د5ظ]

@@dontreadprofilephoto1728 noted

[@Bionic_B]

Mark has too many stories where somebody get hurt then just walks away to some unknown location never to be seen again. There’s this, and the two stories with Mark and his brother the vine thorn pit, and the ice skating

[@concept5631]

Links?

[@yesyouarecorrect1315]

The animation was sooo cool and story was HILARIOUS!! Was genuinely shocked to see ToonCee animate this!! Love her art!

[@ilitsu..2397]

☝️☝️ Mark's new wife 😍😍😍

[@MoostachedSaiyanPrince]

Yeah, me and my friends used to jump off of roofs all the time. None of us knew how to tuck and roll though, because we were all really young kids, like not even teens. We would jump off and come down directly on our legs, unless we fell upon landing. We did it as an endurance test, to see how many times you can do it without giving up. I think the highest any of us ever got was about a half dozen times.

[@AugmentedGravity]

That group was the embodiment of every man for himself😂

[@drumstuff1524]

2:39 I love the “What do we do?” animation bit