Absurd Trolley Problems

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And ► / lixiantv
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[@Fatty-Biscuits]

I love how mark decides to kill himself rather than the other four people, not because he would sacrifice himself to save others, but because his pride tells him, “I bet you can take a trolley.”

[@MrTrolltle]

Not his pride, his masochim

[@ellabrooke1110]

no hes just a masochist

[@MoxxieIsBestBoi]

He likes to dance to the Masochism Tango

[@mysterynotch9098]

You mean 5?

[@kimbleryan7150]

He thinks he can survive. Getting a train ran on him

[@JasperCasper24]

I’m sorry but none of these will ever top “Babe come over” “I can’t I’m having a moral dilemma” “My family isn’t home” “I know”

[@oceanareuherrera2610]

oh my god lmaoo

[@heddja]

🤣🤣

[@thegod_kirx5559]

Lmfao

[@yuukimakoto1386]

In Ethen's voice

[@CannedWolfMeat]

That and "your dick is stuck in the track" were some of my favourite Unus Annus reactions

[@georgevoknerech228]

3:14 "I'm not a masochist. I bet I can take a trolley" - Markiplier, 2022

[@wae3b715]

1.5k likes and no replies? Let me fix that

[@lemoniphobia]

@@wae3b715 cant fix what isnt broken

[@KrakenAustralia]

😂

[@geekzombie8795]

(8)

[@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas]

I mean, if his insides get in the trolley maybe he can stop the trolley ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@Venomnaut]

mark- saves robots for the "sake of humanity" also mark- sends train into future to kill 5 people "that's a future problem" plays on both teams I see

[@affsteak3530]

He's helping the robots in their future war for independence.

[@chaoticoofhead9543]

@@affsteak3530 robots can’t have emotions sooo why the f would they care for independence they would probably just want power

[@Sarah12471]

I mean to be fair, Five people today is more tham Five people Tomorrow

[@contentcorsair]

Also, 5 people today would probably mean a more than 5 increase of people in the future

[@schunga098]

mark: "im not a masochist" also mark: "they are my clones this is what they would want"

[@samkavanagh9165]

💀

[@CICellDirectorCairmann]

he doesnt get sexual pleasure from pain therefore hes not a masochist

[@Maxthebee__]

@@CICellDirectorCairmann shh don't ruin it

[@schunga098]

@@CICellDirectorCairmann ye thats what you think

[@GBArkais]

Do we have a compilation of Mark trying to deny that he's a masochist yet?

[@rowangothic]

Mark: *"I'm not a masochist"* Also Mark: *"Well they're my clone so they'd want to be run over"*

[@cr1t1c4lR3flex]

you good

[@5ivecats836]

@Kavetion we dont care

[@Mydadgotmilkuwu]

@Kavetion you aint.

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@tommysquid5500]

8:10 i feel like right before they died happy the clones would let out one last syncronised "HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MARKI-" splat

[@z6847]

“GOODBYE EVERYBODY I WAS MARKIPLIER”

[@rekyu3d541]

"FAIR IS FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIR"

[@--CHARLIE--]

​@@z6847 the best possible last words in that situation.

[@zewzit]

Clones: "NO NO WHAT ARE Y- WHAT ARE DOING AGH NOO" original mark who pulled the lever: "It was a miss input MISS INPUT CALM DOWN!"

[@brander7453]

Mark: "I'm not masochist" Also Mark: "I wonder if I could survive a trolley running me over."

[@thesiliconeduck5485]

i love how mark always says "im not a masochist" as a defense for everything.

[@Ghostlycatgirl]

Yeaaa "I'm not a masochists but I think I can handle a trolly"

[@itzinzaynn6294]

I imagine he thinks he can clinch his cheeks, get hit, and call it a day

[@tinylollipop9542]

Jump in front of

[@tinylollipop9542]

It

[@reignpowerrandamody9460]

Why is it that I can see an Avengers edit in my head of Mark grinning to Cap before turning around and just blocking the shit out of a Leviathan while screaming "I'M NOT A MASOCHIST I SWEARRRRRRR!" As the Leviathan just crumbles before him.🤣

[@jasonbarrette4980]

Trolly Problem: “Mark, would you let yourself be run over by a trolley-“ Mark: “YES” Trolly Problem: “…uh…to save 5 people…?” Mark: “Oh! Yes…of course…to…save them…right…”

[@PhineasFerb001]

Yeah… to save them… why else…?😰

[@nikothewolf344]

@@PhineasFerb001 TO TEST HIS LIMITS

[@gzs1595]

definitely not a masochist

[@battle_builder]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC I have fallen for this once before, and I have learned from my mistakes.

[@grass_enjoyer]

More proof of his masochism of which he claims to not have in this same video

[@danielbolden1538]

For the trolly problem at the end, I feel like it’s mark saying “don’t pull it, we can take it” and bob and wade going “PULL THE LEVER, WE CANT!!!”

[@oddcrafter1270]

And Chica has no idea what's going on, as usual... I'm gonna pull it.

[@kissgergo5202]

3:05 the fact you can see him seriously thinking whether he could take a trolley is worrysome

[@May-ii7sl]

2:42 "Ethan is resting peacefully on the trails but Mark WANTS to be hit by the trolley, not because he is a masochist, but because he wants to see if his body can take it."

[@sleepysaff2]

Just let ethan rest.

[@sleepysaff2]

It will all be okay

[@elizabeth5561]

Mark can take a train. He watched Thomas the Train. He's a train expert.

[@ShrekAndStuff]

My name is Ethan:c

[@enriquesuarez7113]

lmFAO hahaha

[@krisdoesart9643]

The concept of 5 identical Marks having a masochism fight as a train barrels towards them is so funny

[@onebilliontacos3405]

_They want to know if they can take it_

[@DocKorbeno]

​@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ i snorted jesus' ashes

[@acorn_acrom]

@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ yo mama

[@mihailmilev9909]

@@acorn_acrom who tf is steave jobs

[@PVempati]

do you watch ludwig?

[@thehappiestbowlofcereal6605]

What we learned: *Never* put your life in Mark's dangerous little hands.

[@Sb129]

One of my favorite meme variations was one where the trolley is on one track and constantly running over people and it said "You can stop the trolley at any time but doing so would disrupt the trolley service, causing the company to lose profits!" My other favorite version was on titled "2020 version" and it also had the trolley on one track constantly running over people but you have no lever and it just says "You can only watch"

[@quietarsonist5997]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist!" Also Mark to a bunch of himself: "They would want this"

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

My name..

[@matthewtrujillo7228]

Here's an actual reply because you got bots. Also your comment is funny.

[@yeetlebeetle2060]

@@gotomyhomepageforasub4362 ok i wont

[@woof_irl4738]

@Kavetion You never were, you hopeless bot.

[@dhukk1927]

2:45 sure Mark

[@salahudeenarunkumar4283]

Mark: I'm not a masochist Also Mark: *YES, LET US SEE IF I CAN WITHSTAND BEING RUN OVER BY A TROLLEY*

[@MILF_enjoyer]

Cringe + anime pfp + ratio

[@star_deaths3109]

The amount of times he's said that and proved himself wrong is hilarious

[@vibedude9183]

@@MILF_enjoyer Failed ratio

[@antek9095]

@@MILF_enjoyer typical dog user

[@PoisonedBerryAddict]

@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ My guy this is a video about weird trolley problems, please go do that in a Christian-related video.

[@TheAntiSlime_Guy23]

I'm not a masochist, says Markiplier, lying as easily as he breathed

[@MariaTex3]

I love the trolley problem scenarios. I almost majored in psychology and this difference in how people think, react, and rationalize is just so interesting.

[@definitely_not_lea]

Mark: “I’m not a masochist” Also Mark: “ i bet i could take a train, i bet i could take a trolley”

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name!!

[@sawyermorrow8719]

@@gotomyhomepageforasub4362 ok, if you really dont want me to i guess i wont

[@nikothewolf344]

@@sawyermorrow8719 Well the reason they say that is to get attention from people like you who deny them, so uh...

[@blacknight9471]

Goddamn this reply section is a nightmare and a half

[@Indigo8899]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also mark: *Wants to see if his body can't take being run over by a big ass trolley*

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎

[@coldasifneveraskedthemoon7401]

Me: yeah, we know that🤣🤣

[@thibautisserant]

"Why would you sacrifice yourself ? _It's not a sacrifice if I can *take it* !"

[@DissedRedEngie]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ uhh, you forgot the part where the bot is supposed to be at least somewhat subtle.

[@loading...6969]

Masochist

[@juliacornejo7802]

I'm glad every now and then we get reminders of how Mark is NOT a masochist

[@TinySofa-jz9lx]

The very end one… that Mark has presented us with…it is unsolvable. Truly a work of a philosophical genius.

[@stevieisinband5340]

I love how Mark’s reasoning wasn’t ‘I’ll sacrifice myself to save the other people’, but rather ‘I could take a trolley’ Not a masochist indeed

[@ehx3419]

To be fair, "I'm able to endure it without dying and they're not" is a perfectly valid reasoning even without getting masochism involved. I can actually imagine that as a movie hero quote. "I'm not a masochist. But in this situation... pain is a much smaller price than death!"

[@Tyvian135]

"I'm not a masochist!" *Proceeds to think about getting run over by a trolley in the most painful way possible*

[@nekotranslates]

Meanwhile a trolley is a shopping cart 😂 Can stop it with your bare hands easily. Just great being a non-American. And yes... the video should be renamed "Absurd Tram Problems"

[@CtrlAltBacks]

@@nekotranslates It can be called "trolley", we have trolleys here. And plus, what's the difference between not American and American?

[@tailstube4171]

5:24 Mark does assisted suicide

[@demagischewereldvanalexand1128]

I love mark struggling to remember what the quote is🤣 It's "needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"

[@agrxsfn3873]

Mark: “I’m not a bad guy” Also Mark: I like the way they scream

[@shadowlion0131]

I hope these bots are the ones on the track.

[@mysticman331]

@@shadowlion0131 me too bro

[@a51ez]

But he also doesn't 💀

[@zandiarabans1822]

Mark: I’m not a masochist Mark: I want to know what my body can take Mark: not a sadist Mark: I like the way they’re screaming

[@jedi_cat_l4976]

Mark: "I want to see what my body can ta- *I'm not a masochist."* Never change, Mark. Never change.

[@melting5883]

408 like and no comments.. I'm the first!

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@matronator]

Yay! I was the 1000th upvote on this comment! What do I win? What do I win?? 🥳🤩

[@cerulity32k]

Also Mark's clones: "Let me take it!" "No, let _me_ take it!" "No! Let *me* take it!"

[@maxorsum]

6:13 me playing this game on that level: JOKES ON YOU, I DONT HAVE A BEST FRIEND!!!

[@khanw100]

5:41 that trolley became a Formula 1 car.

[@Elizabeth-kv7lg]

Mark: "Needs of the many vs. the needs of the few!" Best friend: "Halp" Mark: "Well the other people obviously wanted to die"

[@TheHoaxReality]

I was looking at his first cousin thinking that exact thing lol

[@eklhaft4531]

What if there is 1 billion strangers on the other track? Would you cause a genocide or do you think the train would stop after hitting the first few?

[@lepperkin]

@@eklhaft4531 Thats not a genocide. Do you even know what genocide is? It's not just killing a bunch of people.

[@eklhaft4531]

@@lepperkin ok a mass murder. Just didn't know what to call it on this scale. You can imagine they are all of the same nationality.

[@InceptDev001]

"They're on the way out anyway." Perhaps Mark isn't a masochist, but this video definitely shows he's a sadist.

[@johnathynraymond1049]

Also Mark : Lives of the many, over lives of the few

[@thehawk8173]

@@johnathynraymond1049 but if you think about it, that baby will eventually make more thus making more people.

[@insertname717]

Also mark: "I like the way they're screaming"

[@amazingjames1979]

The choice actually makes sense though

[@oujimandias6485]

Sadomasochist, the full package

[@Dantido]

I love how Mark's ethics resemble Immanuel Kant's teachings so much it's uncanny.

[@ThatFoxxoLeo]

I'm not big on philosophy, what are Kant's teachings like?

[@Dantido]

​​​​​@@ThatFoxxoLeoFrom my understanding, Kant's teachings are based on imperatives based on the "duty", a senseless (a priori) faculty shared by every rational being. In your typical trolley problem of 3 lives vs 1 life, with the train defaulting to the path of 3 lives at first, Kant would say it's immoral to pull the lever as killing is an immoral act based on one of the imperatives of duty ("YOU MAY NOT TREAT OTHERS EXCLUSIVELY AS TOOLS, BUT RATHER AS PURPOSE (aka people with dignity)" and you can't change faith to kill one life as that would make you a killer. It's the opposite of utilitarian ethics, that base morality on what gives the most good or the least bad. Utilitarians would pull the lever as it would mean less people killed. Kant, on the other hand, thinks cuantifying human lives to say if something is moral is absurd since the life of the people is invaluable as they have DIGNITY. The best course of action for Kant is to let faith run its course. Keep in mind I'm a bit rusty with my philosophy studies on ethics so take this with a grain of salt. _PD : I just rewatched the vid and I should specify that I meant the evolution of Markiplier's choices. I didn't remember what Mark picked on the first problem..._ PD-2 : I've recently went over kantian ethics and I've fixed all of the rusty stuff. It should be much clearer now. Basically, Kant thinks there's a faculty in every rational being called "the duty", and that is the basis of what's moral and what isn't. You don't ask what's good, but rather how to act good, how to act according to duty. Duty is formulated on categorical imperatives that are the objective law that applies to every rational being. The two (there's another one but I didn't study it) categorical imperatives Kant proposes are, in layman's terms : - "People have dignity, so treat them as such". - "Only do acts that you would see yourself liking in a hypothetical world where everyone does those acts (as in, don't lie since you wouldn't like a world of liars)" This was revolutionary at the time since ethics used to base around the searching of happiness and materialism. Aristotle especially just saw something that made the collective of the State happy as the true morality, when in reality that definition can be deformed to hell and back. Anyways, hope I cleared some smoke, and thanks for reading. Have a nice day.

[@Dantido]

​@@ThatFoxxoLeoHey there, dude, not sure if you can see this, but I've editted the comment explaining Kant's ethics since I went over his stuff again and I realized just how rusty I really was. I hope it's helpful to you now. Take care.

[@Mutualititve]

2:55 as the train derail, it fall and in turn kill everyone, good thinking Mark, testing your own capacity and fullfil the other people dream of not feeling guilty.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

When Mark said “I’m not a bad guy” it gives off the same vibe whenever he says he’s not a masochist.

[@kingwolferzillajr.3561]

Early human

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@jplaysgamez_]

true

[@PomadaGaming]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ what is fucked in your head…?

[@godusopp9557]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ bro what

[@wd3185]

"I'm not a masochist." Guys, I think Mark might be in denial.

[@merasmurry1460]

You *think*?

[@mewoisbest8851]

This is probably the 4th time I've heard him say that he isn't a masochist- pretty suspicious to me

[@thedukeconiosantiago9180]

@@mewoisbest8851 you new?

[@mewoisbest8851]

@@thedukeconiosantiago9180 Yeah just a baby boy

[@thedukeconiosantiago9180]

@@mewoisbest8851 ph boy. Yeah he says this alot

[@madmarcus1709]

0:17 I would pull the lever to wave to all the people.

[@BobyAndKimo]

10:25 heHaHEa yoU GoT pRanKEd

[@brynt.miller]

The confidence in his ability to take getting ran over by a trolley is astounding.

[@ovxrcxsts]

i just wanna see if i can take it😇

[@maxzura]

i can only imagine how insane mark looks when he's "talking to lixian" pre-edit

[@BlackMoonHowls]

Anyone that "talks" to themselves.

[@goose1114]

@Kavetion congratulations, I imagine that must make you happy

[@arconisthewolf4430]

@Kavetion no your not :)

[@geekjokes8458]

sometimes he streams while recording, it's a bit awkward but it's not that bad

[@kp.skiiiiii]

can we have just one video where lixian ignores all his requests and doesn’t animate himself in 😭

[@bluevern904]

I like how almost everyone I know doesn’t even hesitate in both destroying the Mona Lisa and pranking the driver

[@eclipse4956]

6:25 jokes on you I don't have any friends

[@PantherCat64]

My favorite is still: "You can stop the trolley at any time but doing so would disrupt the trolley and the company will lose money, There are protesters on the track demanding the trolley keep going and will attack you if you stop it"

[@PantherCat64]

found a second favorite while looking for the one I mentioned: "You solved the trolley problem. You killed the person responsible for tying people to trolley tracks. It's finally over."

[@yeetionary]

@@PantherCat64 alternative trolley problem solution: break the trolley with the lever. no more trolley

[@R9naldo]

Kill the protestors. Always kill protestors

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@ntpgmr]

Regarding the sentient robot one, they'll remember Mark saved 5 of their brethren and during the robot uprising they'll keep Mark around. Clearly he's playing the smart game here, lads.

[@ghoulknight5726]

Didn't think of it like that

[@egggge4752]

Rokkos Basilisk

[@sugarcubeswirly]

thats what im sayinggg

[@commanderdemonno9819]

@@thatchicksebby but every human is different, and robots could be nearly identical in nature

[@collectiusindefinitus6935]

Since the robots are sentient I value them to be alive like humans on top of the massive advancements keeping them around would allow.

[@DL-12_]

11:59 the people sidentyg go splat LOL

[@DerykRose]

12:41 really made me have a existential crisis 💀

[@jrackon3876]

Sean was streaming earlier and he was talking about how when you’re a kid you learn stuff by reaction. Like touching a hot stove to learn how hot it is. He was like “you know, you just touch it to see how much you can take. Oh god, I sound like Mark right now”

[@ThisandThats]

was that today?

[@blissfulthoughts6020]

@@ThisandThats yep

[@KxmpleteKxllapse]

@Kavetion u happy u got that out dude? lol

[@raspberrytaegi]

HAHAHAHA

[@poppythemerpasaur]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC Will do! Thanks for the warning!

[@AGuyFromCA]

Mark: “It’s just money” Mark no more than 2 minutes later: *”What’s your offer, h m ?”*

[@toyohimeyeswatatsuki6917]

But he still run over richer one

[@mc_wolfy1]

@@toyohimeyeswatatsuki6917 And either way he kills one person.

[@ingegaugerlarranaga4210]

@@mc_wolfy1 ?? yeah because there's literally just two options

[@WHYvernmaster]

For me, I destroyed my savings, but took the bribe. I don't have enough to be worth the lives of five people. Buuuut... if I'm faced with a situation where no matter what, I'll see one stranger die? Changing which one it is might be worth half a million, lol

[@jakub7777]

@@WHYvernmaster but you will have bloody hands

[@gerarddip]

4:51 nice transition into weedwacker/chainsaw idle noise.

[@Iliketheflames]

2:00 mark: the money is just going to scatter away anyways the money: s p l a t

[@bunnylegion3969]

I feel like Mark would stand in front of a trolley to “test the limits of his body.”

[@BlackMoonHowls]

We have Trollies, but they run for an hour every Tuesday. Don't ask why I do not know. City Officials problems.

[@j2terminator]

Mark: These are my clones right? I mean this is what they'd want, right?! Me: Cause your totally NOT a masochist, right Mark?

[@katlinlinkat7620]

Exactly

[@vincentnnoli8193]

But since he is also his clones and the only one with actual choice he’d let the trolley run him over instead

[@pizzaboy8834]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC ok

[@Wipeout3003]

So, how many times have we confirmed that Mark is a masochist?

[@abena.mp5]

too many to count lmao

[@kyoobqa]

Zero. Mark has _explicitly_ stated that he is _not_ a masochist, y'know. 😏

[@ultimatetrashboy419]

I like to think the more mark gets hurt the stronger he gets.

[@zenormcclure9071]

Mark: “I’m not a masochist.” Everyone who watch him play Sucker For Love: “Pretty sure you are.”

[@kakyoindonut3213]

most original markiplier fans

[@ultramariogod]

This must be engraved in his tombstone: Here lies Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach He was NOT a masochist

[@chromacorvus9651]

And then suddenly after a year that quote was crossed out and it turned into an hourglass instead.

[@Jay-oi6eb]

@@chromacorvus9651 oh shit

[@jessicagraf8430]

I'm not a masochist." -Mark whenever he mentions getting hurt.

[@albertinstan5090]

4:13 kill the rich guy and steal all his Money

[@matthewboire6843]

Money poisons people as some will say

[@matthewboire6843]

Smart

[@datdragonboi9354]

I love how mark is visiting old *[Redacted]* ideas… it’s a weird sense of nostalgia

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@mooncaker]

Yeah, I agree. It’s really cool how it’s like that!

[@nobody_move]

Bro all these bots 💀

[@isaacpascoe]

Memento mori

[@takatacheroki2624]

For me, the fact that the rich guy tried to bribe me would have sealed his fate. I would have been trying to figure out a way to save both of them if possible otherwise. In short: "How *dare* you think you can bribe me to kill!" -Leaves them to their fate.-

[@dylantaylor5829]

Right?

[@TheAntiSlime_Guy23]

I woulda left him to his fate the moment I realized he was rich

[@mickaelrocher8121]

Well it interesing but i pulled on the bélief that the rich man didnt wanted to kill him the other man or maybe he wasnt even aware thar there were an man on another track For me he just asked me to save him Beside im pretty sûre that if the man had more than 500 $ , he probably do an similar offer than the rich man

[@mrhubert1462]

​@@TheAntiSlime_Guy23what is the problem with rich people

[@gljames24]

​​@@mrhubert1462They hoard wealth using regulatory capture and prevent societal progress.

[@Donald6309]

Can we all just take a moment to think about what the world would be like with 5 identical markiplier clones plus the real one?

[@aidedthunder6419]

Markiplier: "Im pretty strong" Also Markiplier: *breaks foot stepping off a curb*

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

congrats, you got 5 bots on this comment in a record time. so anyway's back to what i was actually going to comment : yeah it does seem accurate, i mean last time i broke my foot stepping off a curb i got sent out of reality itself.

[@cherriberri8373]

No common he obviously broke it through the sheer strength collected in his body being released at once stepping off that curb

[@AristotleMotivation]

@@ThePcHeadedGuy bro i am just glad to see a sentient human being in these comments

[@Tinkerrer]

also breaks his nose carrying a chair

[@Changeofplanslol]

This is just Mark realizing how much he misses Unus Annus. 💀

[@balls7828]

🍔

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎

[@yourusual_BigShot]

Kyo is not hot

[@PremierCCGuyMMXVI]

He going through the stages of grief lmao Us to mark 😔

[@mooncaker]

Hilarious lolll

[@CherryBlossom-mh6vv]

9:55 there’s a problem with the logic here, if the trolley is no longer active, then the people who wrote on it and kept it in business will now need to have a different form of transportation, and will likely use cars, this is even worse for the environment and will cause even more deaths by CO2 emissions lmao 😂

[@arnand6636]

3:31 My bad art teacher would probably kill everyone if this happened.

[@Galliao]

"Needs of the many!" "Hero Complex" "... Yea, I'll let those 5 die for my one bestie friend"

[@madisonfeasel2370]

I’m curious who he had in mind for his best friend 😂

[@DM-Oz]

Thats why i believe that my awnser to the original problem is to not pull the lever. I hate the utilitarist argument about the need of the many vs the need of the few, for we humans are, even if living in society, individuals. For those tree problems, the awnser i believe i would give are. Not pull the lever for the classic. Do pull the lever, or at least i like to believe i would do that, sacrificing myself, a choice i would be doing as an individual, and not a choice that would be made for me with the premisse that my life has an accounted value and is being compared to the other five. And i would likely save my best friend, unless his will is stated to be otherwise, i admit it is selfish choice, i even admit that is a wrong choice, for i am using the live of 5 other people to save someone i care about, but is simply what i, as an individual, think i would do, even if is not the correct thing to do.

[@SamSparks95]

The "Nobody is in danger, but you can pull the lever so bring it closer so you can wave at the people" will forever be my favourite Trolley problem

[@HaxxorElite]

uwu

[@shykowski]

9:20 "sentient robots" meaning they have the ability to respond to stimuli, not "sapient", being able to have complex thought and consciousness.

[@Seth-The-Dragon]

9:18 i agree with mark because if the robots are sentient then they have feelings it could be something like Detroit become human the androids start to become sentient and more human.

[@gljames24]

I know right. I feel bad for robots in the future who will be considered nonpersons even if they were identical to humans in terms of sapience.

[@tomasespitia3427]

Good point i agree, but terrible example xd, the robots that gained sentience, the situation the were in, and the way they got it in detroit become human is like the most unlikely scenario on how IA with coincience would be developed. But yeah, a TRUE sentient robot should be treated as any human in regards of how valuable its life is

[@bluecrown8956]

“I bet I could take a trolley” Mark “Definitely not a masochist” Iplier

[@zambinoni]

69th like 👌

[@AKA_Lauren]

STOP SAYING HE"S A MASOCHIST!

[@Basstez]

Exactly lmaoo

[@conorgillingham2564]

@@AKA_Lauren So you’re not clued in on the joke. Got it.

[@thedontpanic]

Seeing how Mark enjoys absurd trolley problems, I think he would love Trolley Problem Inc, which is a game not unlike this about increasingly complex and absurd "trolley problem" moral quandaries. It also has an integrated feature that can poll your audience if you livestream it, but I'm not sure if it works in KZbin live chats or just Twitch chats. Either way it would be a great experience.

[@ShillyBilly130]

He absolutely should! It would make for a great time and I instantly thought of this game when seeing this video!

[@cascadedangel7139]

Get this comment to the top!

[@tumblingartist]

YES! That would be awesome to see

[@DeRainbowInk]

Someone make a compilation of every time mark says "im not a masochist"

[@MrEditor6000]

5:22 Plot Twist: 5 Oil protestors.. they gettin run over cuh

[@klaus9241]

Mark: "im not a masochist" Also mark: *wants to see if he can survive getting ran over by a fucking trolley* also id def save chica

[@Postmaybe]

unlike you, i don’t have a personal connection with chica sooooooooooooooooo

[@Purplisntacolor]

@@Postmaybesame but chick still bc yes

[@Wingingvoice]

The [Redacted] trolley problem where mark wants to see if he can take it is still the best trolly problem ever made

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don't look at my name!

[@01TacocaT10]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ jesus christ yall report this bruh

[@MrLoverman7134]

Absolutely also these bots💀

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name!

[@shriveborn9422]

You wake up. Where are you? What’s happening? You notice you’re tied to a train track. You hear the cries of five other people on the other track. You’re about to scream, fearful for your life. Then, you hear Mark yell “NEEDS OF THE MANY VERSUS NEEDS OF THE FEW” right before getting crushed by a trolley.

[@zach397]

"I could take a trolly" "in a fight, mark?" "..." "mark?"

[@r.so-so1992]

Five clones of Mark; a barbershop quintet all singing, "We're not Masochists, but we can TAKE WHATEVER YOU THROW AT US!"

[@weldonwin]

Clearly, they are the Mark Variants from In Space With Markiplier, who sang the Space Was So Cool song

[@Mahdi-rw1px]

3:53 Mark: "Hey buddy whats your offer ?" Buddy: *:O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o*

[@ufuvuvkgivihk2734]

7:30 The correct answer is do a double track drift

[@elizabethpeckham5258]

3:37 14% of people are yoshikage kira

[@ricecoke7682]

Nice

[@battle_builder]

It's so funny when Mark says "I'm not a masochist" and then immediately says or does something that points toward masochism.😂😂

[@Hydrophobiqe]

Yeah

[@TTVJxson]

Mark starting to sing Mr bright side might be the best thing I've ever seen

[@WatermelonMaster]

On level 8, Not killing the cats means free lobster food for dinner.

[@ShadyDoorags]

8:42 I feel like Mark underestimates mankind's ability to rebuild broken robots.

[@yphoenix5957]

Mankind can rebuild/repair the robots, but will they still be sentient? Pull the lever to sacrifice the one person, there's a chance it could benefit all ot humanity. Or the sentiment robots become unruly like lazy teenagers and I'm the asshole X)

[@phenix2403]

@@yphoenix5957 yes? If technology ever gets to that point, the robots won't be constrained by the same limits biological animals have. Stuff like keeping a backup of themselves would be possible

[@backinyourcommentsectionag3191]

@@yphoenix5957 lmfao that's pretty good.

[@robertbruce5816]

@@phenix2403 if technology ever gets to that point, biological animals won't be constrained by the same limits.

[@jacobking3821]

@@phenix2403 A backup is not the same being. If we make it to the point that we can make a sentient program, a back up would be a second sentient program, not the same in two places. Just like making an online copy of yourself is not you in two places, it's an entirely different you, and killing yourself with the belief that you'll continue as a computer is simply suicide.

[@phunky_phoenix]

Mark "I'm not a masochist" iplier: "I'm not a masochist, I just want to see what my body can handle" "They're my clones, they would want to get run over with a trolly"

[@nyuuchan356]

On the future portal problem: I’d say “Screw this.”, and just jump into the portal myself!

[@nassir565]

10:43 when he said that he crushed the litter aswell I laughed half to death lol

[@colekiesler6218]

Markiplier: “I am not a bad guy.” Also Mark: Made a clear statement on a theory that he could be a masochist.

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don't look at my name

[@Krow_Kid]

Wow these bots are amazing. I'm sure they are loved and have a very high confidence 🤡

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name

[@jblen]

How are those two statements related? Does making a statement on a theory make you a bad guy?

[@Masqueraide]

Mark and Ethan going through Trolley Problems was one of my favorite Unus Annus videos. It was really nice to see Mark revisiting some Trolley Problems 😍

[@bethanyzamora1146]

literally!! the parallel between mark saying "I can take it" here and the unus annus meme of mark and ethan being the ones on the tracks and mark saying he could take it.

[@emilybakker3742]

same!!!

[@jred2day766]

REDACTED

[@nightstar6179]

It was fantastic

[@Lucurato_Gaming101]

​@@jred2day766why is it (redacted)?

[@llameldactyl]

13:27, damn. I have always put my cart away except for ONE occasion where I was trying to get out of a store as fast as possible because I felt like I was going to be sick. I already felt horrible when the employee that checked me out immediately came out to put it away but now I feel bad all over again.

[@N0rmanTheGhost]

2:13 me when the school cuts the art program to get new hand dryers

[@crunchyfootfungus3909]

Ok

[@USAlien234]

For the last problem: Seeing as Mark would live either way (cause he can take a trolley) , I would have to do nothing and run over Mark, Wade, and Bob to save Chica. If I I pulled it he would live and be devastated the rest of his life that I killed his pup. Do nothing, and he would take the trolley and still have his pup.

[@maxwellmcgee7114]

Seeing as Mark can take it, it would only kill one of them. Cause the trolley would stop after hitting Mark and he's in the middle.

[@battle_builder]

@@maxwellmcgee7114 genius

[@maxwellmcgee7114]

@@battle_builder oh yeah, its big brain time

[@fatimapavon7787]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist." Also Mark: *"I bet I can take a trolley running over me, I CAN TAKE THAT."* 💖💖💖

[@justsomerandompersononthei4908]

@Kavetion k

[@denzterwastaken]

@Kavetion and I'm Jesus

[@Sherin974]

Something occurs to me that, he claims he can take a train however he put wade in front.

[@Small_Hollow]

The robots, have much more to live for, as they could theoretically live for centuries.

[@greenshirtguy6220]

12:17 "pull the lever also that awesome" still is one of my favourite things Mark has ever said

[@NGC-7635]

"I can take a trolly" 45000lbs of steel vs Mark's hulking pectorals. Tough call. Could go either way tbh.

[@hikariatearu4028]

Mark is a Masochist, so its fine if we let the train ran over him Mark just wants to know if he can handle the pain Ethan is just sleeping Dont mind him, let him rest

[@Alsarnia]

Good lord, I think the trolley problem episode was my absolute favorite. It was so silly but every single one got funnier than the last haha