My Sister Says I'm Ruining Her Wedding By The Dress I Picked r/Relationships

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: They’re not actually upset about the dress, it was just something they invented so they could have a reason to ostracize OP and stop her from coming to the wedding. The maid of honor knew about the yellow dress before it was an issue. They waited to make a fuss until the last minute and refused any reasonable solutions OP offered. This story sounds like the beginning of Cinderella, The evil (non-step) mother and sisters don’t want OP to go to the ball so they use the excuse that she doesn’t have the right dress. If it wasn’t the dress it would have been something else. OP says the bride was always *“the pretty one”* growing up, I wonder if OP has had a glow up so the mom and bride needed to find a way to shut her out of the golden child’s big day.

[@babybookworm003]

Naw I got the feeling Elaine is the golden child who resents op and found away to turn their mother against her

[@sammieh9695]

Elaine never wanted op at the wedding. Saying that jab about $110 for the plate was just to get her to leave, there was never a plate for op. I'm guessing you're right about the glow up and op doesn't see it. She just needs to respond to everyone with "oh so you were also told to pay $110 to eat at the wedding? If you think this was ever about a dress, you're a fool. Enjoy being Elaine's foolish flying monkey"

[@LololoriShow]

it's probably for every mean girl reason..shame on the Elders for allowing and joining in ..of the cruel behavior 🤔 😟

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@LololoriShow in a way the parents are just as much at fault. They are supposed to love all their children

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Elaine didn't age gracefully and OP is glowing up and the bridzella felt insecure. that's my take.

[@brandi5126]

How the hell were you supposed to know what color dresses special people in the wedding are wearing if you don't say anything. People are so stupid.

[@carolroberts4614]

Or cunning! They had a plan. For one reason or another, bride didn't want op there. Like others have said, may be op is prettier than Elaine now.

[@pippo17173]

​@carolroberts4614 other comments mention op could be the affair child. I am believing it could be case.

[@shebakoby]

that was the whole point. Gaslighting such as Elaine, the mom, and Gabriella were doing, is a hallmark of abusive families who are often afflicted with a Cluster B or two or three.

[@Love2Banime]

Reminds of the the shades of purple dress story. OP's monster sil didnt want OP and OP's brother (who was gay) in the wedding.

[@shebakoby]

@@Love2Banime oh gawd yes I remember that story so well. Same shades of Gaslighting and Golden Child Syndrome Bridezilla-isms. (On top of the heaping dose of phobia).

[@TsukiKageTora]

I’d text the groom and say “this is how your bride is treating me, her flesh and blood sister. Think about whether or not you want your daughters legally tied to this woman…”. Warn the guy

[@felix0-014]

FOR REAL. I would have sent him everything so that he wouldn't get tied up with someone so disgustingly toxic

[@DragonicGamer32]

yeeeep definitely.

[@achocolatebiscuit5087]

Maybe it's not a good idea. OP telling could easily make the sister make it look like OP is a bitter hag trying to ruin lives. It'd only cause more drama for OP.

[@catsncrows]

Wait the mother is wearing white? There's something messy there. This is not about about a dress at all. There's something weird between the bride and the mother. Ew! Child pageants, there are no boundaries between the bride and the mother. The mother sees the bride as an extension of herself and op is the target for the mentally unwell of the two

[@trilbynhiss]

Also weird: replacing your adult sisters with two preteen girls as maids of honor.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Exactly what I was thinking. Definitely icky relationship between the mom and the bride.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

@@trilbynhiss In all fairness, the Bride may be doing that to try to draw her "new family" closer togeether.

[@trilbynhiss]

@@alicewilloughby4318 Flowergirls would do just fine and she wouldn't have alienated her sisters.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@alicewilloughby4318 Then you include your new Step-daughters and you don't choose any of your sisters, so as not to favour any over the others.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 I wouldn't even bother. You made several attempts to contact her BEFORE you bought the dress. She left you on read. She's determined to make OP the bad guy. Skip the wedding and go NC

[@hillarycrosson5827]

Then her whole family will bash her for not showing up and for not changing a dress for her sister, etc, etc. It's a no-win scenario

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@hillarycrosson5827 she still got bashed in the update so might as well have not bothered

[@kitkakitteh]

Yeah, but you have to care first. If they’re just going to do it anyway? I’d skip the wedding, short of getting engaged or announcing a pregnancy- or hiring someone to object while pregnant 😂

[@here4funyadig]

Show the messages, plain and simple. If her family won't believe her that she received no response, and she's not psychic, how could she know what colors to stay away from ? Sister is a moron and it sounds like most of her family is as well 😅

[@juliearmfield2634]

It makes me wonder if op is an affair baby.

[@cutekitty1212]

Maybe op is the prettiest which made the bride paranoid especially after she was told she is the prettiest for years.

[@mikouf9691]

I was also wondering if she has concerns that the groom/husband would favor her sister's looks.

[@BelovedofChrist581]

100% this is the reason why her sister wanted to exclude her. Older sister is so used to think she’s the prettiest, until she realized she isnt. How shallow and straight up evil she behaves. All we miss in the story is a mirror and a huntsman.

[@Nortarachanges]

OP is younger. Sometimes that’s all it takes for shallow people

[@RobDaCajun]

@@Nortarachanges yep

[@dimsufferer9951]

Elaine is so lucky she didn't get slapped for the stunt she pulled and the disrespect she's showing her sister, and for what?

[@messinalyle4030]

Who's going to slap her? It sounds like most other people at the wedding were her flying monkeys. Or maybe their mom's flying monkeys, since she was the one who created this sibling dynamic in the first place. Maybe they all need a good slap.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I wouldn't have bothered going. Turned out just as I predicted, I'm glad OP finally went NC. Bridezilla clearly didn't want OP there since she canceled her meal. I think OP was the scapegoat AND that bride is jealous.

[@lifewithlee6298]

Yeah , drama 🎭 queen much. Poor op

[@BruinPhD2009]

Whenever I hear stories about one sibling being the “prettier, smarter, more athletic one, etc.,” I always wonder if that’s actually objectively true. The depths to which people sink to make themselves feel better is apparently infinite.

[@lnaph]

I agree. Hencw why she was left on read whe she wanted approval and wojldnt accept her pink homecoming dress ... she waa jwalous and threatened

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I'd be more likely to believe she never included her in the count than to cut it out. Once the contracts are signed, the deal is done. The other option is she didn't cancel the meal but didn't want sister there so told her she cancelled the meal.

[@sammieh9695]

​@BruinPhD2009 I am 100% sure my little brother is the most talented and most attractive sibling out of us 4. He's also the funniest and most charismatic. It's like my parents saved all the good stuff for him 😂 I love him even tho I'm lowkey jelly af

[@Mark_Proton]

Guests need to get a new outfit just for a wedding? That's insane. I wear my wedding suit to other people's weddings, it's the only formal suit I own. I come to celebrate, not to flex, dammit.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

If it's family, I buy something new. Anyone else gets whatever is in my closet.

[@robparker1742]

The older members of my family are quite traditional and everyone has a wedding outfit. They only get updated when they no longerfit, and even then they are still basically the same outfit. And don't get me started on some of the hats that get pulled out for the weddings. Honestly they even all stand in the same formation when the photos are taken,

[@mbyerly9680]

People just don't dress up that much anymore. Not even for church. And dresses for most parties just aren't suitable.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

For my sister’s wedding I wore a nice blue dress that was already in my closet. She thought it looked nice. Buying a nice dress that you may never wear again is such a waste of money and not everyone can afford getting a formal dress so casually.

[@Snowshowslow]

That... is unfortunately a difference between norms for men and women. No one bats an eye if men wear the same suit every time, but in a lot of circles women shouldn't wear the same outfit to important events within the same social group. It's stupid, but it is a thing.

[@AndyyWithAY]

This isn't an AH situation in story 2. This relationship has run its course. I agree with that comment about how some things make your partner unattractive. It's OK for attraction to be conditional. I don't think the guy is controlling, but I still think they need to breakup

[@wvanyar1801]

I agree. While they had fun together it does not sound like a long lasting relationship. OP doesn't care about looks, the boyfriend does. Not something that will last. OP has done things to her body that can't be reversed (at least not easily or cheaply). So, only if the boyfriend doesn't care would this last. Each has the right to do what they want. I think they have reached the point that they needed to admit they are moving in different directions in life.

[@TheGelasiaBlythe]

Story #1: So, the groom has a wandering eye that wanders to the oblivious OP, and Elaine's a bit jealous, huh? That's how I see it. She's forcing OP to be Cinderella with the old dress, the inability to pay for a new dress, food, etc. I guess she forgot what happened to Cinderella's mean stepsisters in the story; they ended up alone, with maimed feet.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

and birds pecked out their eyes on Cinderella's wedding

[@TheGelasiaBlythe]

@@jessilynallendilla5014 Ah, the old fairytales were truly Grimm (pun intended), weren't they?

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Sometimes turned to stone depending on the telling.

[@shannonbullock2202]

OP will get married in the future…can’t wait to hear about how shocked her mother and sister are for not being included or even invited and the embarrassment they face

[@robertx8020]

It would be even better if she has kids. Most 'mothers' (meaning OP's 'mother' ) kand resist the grandmother vibes ..would be great to shut the door in her face !

[@itsjustmaddisen]

The sister isn’t actually mad at the yellow colour, they’re mad that OP is existing and doesn’t want OP to attend.

[@MizVkook1709]

I can only come up with three reasons why they treated op like this. 1. She's the scapegoat 2. She's not their biological sister. 3. She had a glow up and everybody is shocked on how beautiful she is. Either way what they have done is just uncalled for and Op did the right thing by going no contact but I still have a question about the other sister and why she didn't back her up and let the family know what was going on.

[@porter0311]

Every time that girl capitulated to her momzille and sisterzilla, they'd move that damn goal post. Fuck them, OP is better off without them in her life. Also I forsee the marriage not lasting if that the way the bride treats family.

[@MisterNightfish]

It's so funny that OP's family has probably tried to subtly bully her all her life and she just never noticed until now and she's all like "Oh you were trying to make my life miserable? I didn't even notice. Anyway, no contact now! kthxbai!"

[@lyraflow9154]

I think so too especially because of the comment her mothers brother made how yellow isn't her color anyway and I really doubt he knows jack shit about which colors fit her and which not

[@juliemcgugan1244]

@@lyraflow9154He probably thinks he is being super sly, but in reality, he is so obviously cringe!

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA, op asked what were the wedding colors, no one told her.

[@EnDB]

I would just avoid going. OP's sister did this on purpose. The point was to find a way to ban OP.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

S1: OP's Bridezilla sister will be divorced within 3 years. This level of abusive behavior towards others always destroys marriages. And notice there is no mention of OP's father? That's because, like her daughter will, she destroyed her own marriage too. This crap is a learned character flaw. Good job OP. NC with anyone criticizing you.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Obviously they planned the whole thing to make OP the bad guy for whatever reason. They’re not actually upset about the dress, it was just something they invented so they could have a reason to ostracize OP and stop her from coming to the wedding. The maid of honor knew about the yellow dress before it was an issue. They waited to make a fuss until the last minute and refused any reasonable solutions OP offered. This story sounds like the beginning of Cinderella, The evil (non-step) mother and sisters don’t want OP to go to the ball so they use the excuse that she doesn’t have the right dress. If it wasn’t the dress it would have been something else. OP says the bride was always “the pretty one” growing up, I wonder if OP has had a glow up so the mom and bride needed to find a way to shut her out of the golden child’s big day. Can’t wait for the update a year or two later.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

When OP gets married they’re going to turn it into a nightmare.

[@LunaP1]

Elaine would probably try to ruin the wedding and make it all about herself.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@@LunaP1 they’ll probably all wear white.

[@Zanzetihunter]

Maybe OP can do what that one OP did when she found out family wanted to ruin the wedding by wearing white. She invited everyone who had been married before to wear theirs. They blended in that glorious sea of white.

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Or complain that they aren’t invited or involved lol

[@SavagePassion666]

Not if they're cut off and not invited.

[@lostshadows768]

Story 2: When you describe making choices about your personal appearance as "pushing your luck" in a relationship, it's time to reconsider if this is really a relationship you want to be in.

[@aga3852]

Exactly. Do you, just understand if it worth it or if you really will vibe well with such big differences.

[@PFirefly06]

He accepted her as she was when he got together with her. She wants to continue to change her appearance well past what he finds acceptable. Its her body, and her choice, but he is nta if he leaves her over this. She does need to consider if this is the relationship for her, but only because after a decade she still wants to push the boundaries on what she ALREADY knows he finds as the least positive part of being with her.

[@SaheeliRai]

Especially since the size she wants to strech her earlobes to isn't that big and matches with the whole tattoos and colorful hair style. You could hide it with medium sized earrings if necessary.

[@dexine4723]

I'm with the boyfriend on this. Tattoos and hair, fine, but the sight of stretched earlobes makes me feel physically sick, and I can't look if someone is fitting/removing their stretchers (I had a bad experience once, when a guy took his out and released a foul stench that had everyone reeling back and retching, plus the sight of those limp, drooping, filthy earlobes - gross!). If the partner is deliberately doing something to themselves that is unattractive or even repulsive to their significant other, without caring that the other doesn't like it, then the relationship is doomed.

[@katwiltz1134]

I think Opie should show her entire family this Reddit and let him know that you don't have to change the names you did it as a courtesy

[@TsukiKageTora]

I’ll tell the family “I was left on read most of the time and had to order it to arrive on time. Here are the screenshots. Please don’t believe anything out of Elaine’s mouth as she is the one who caused this by saying “don’t wear this color, wear another”. How am I in the wrong for not knowing something I’ve asked many a time but never gotten an answer until it was too late?” And if they fight on it, block and move on. Could do better finding people who act like a real family despite not having blood ties.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: Gabriella doesn’t like op; and seriously if there is colors reserved for the wedding, she’d reserved it. Nah she made up shit After update: i am just wondering if the edit about growing up Eliane was the prettiest and in pageants, if younger sister grow into her looks and stole her ‘prettiest’ title

[@clarissagafoor5222]

1st story OP knows her sister is the AH, not her. Just go nc, even with the family - let people know what's going on and have a great life without them!

[@aawyfroggy723]

So *checks notes* the golden ex pageant baby is upset her younger sister might upstage her- I mean upstage 2 kids? 🤨 The dress is a red herring, Elaine is just insecure about being 30 the same way we all are. The way her and her flying monkies are acting is wild, and it says it all that uncle had nothing to say about mums white dress.

[@melandk123]

After spending 30 years with the same person I have learned that being considerate of their wants and needs and being willing to compromise is paramount to keeping everyone happy and feeling loved. I have found so much push back with people trying to tell me that taking my partners wants into consideration is controlling or abusive. I am so glad that I never listened to those people and continue to be thoughtful in my decisions.

[@lindah3803]

Today's society is Me,Me,Me. My body,my right. He/She is my SO. SO has to accept My decision. I know a gal that ended up divorced over tattoos. After her 1st tat,hubby told her that he didn't like them. 2nd tat,he realized she would keep going. They talked,he asked her to agree to 2 things. No tats in a specific area. Not to get 1 specific topic/design at all. She did agree. After that talk,she started to notice hubby losing interest,brushed it off. Well,3 or 4 tats later,she was crying. Her hubby moved out. Just left a note with a lawyers card. The lawyer explained that hubby was filing for divorce. She had broken their agreement. During the talks,hubby told her that she use to be caring and beautiful. Now you're just self-centered and look disgusting. You definitely played your cards right. You and your hubby respected each other.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

so they're a former pageant kid and pageant mom that explains everything If I was OP I'd be petty and post all those texts on facebook tagging everyone good luck to the new groom

[@MingRae1]

Story 2: okay, why date someone who hates how you look? This was all a part of you before hand and was something you were working towards.

[@wvanyar1801]

I don't think the couple will make it. OP in story 2 has the right to do what she wants. On the flip side the boyfriend has the right to get turned off and break up. While they claim opposites attract in romantic literature, there needs to be some common ground. It sounds like OP doesn't care about looks but the boyfriend does. Not a long lasting relationship dynamic.

[@jennysmith38]

Op had tattoos before she started dating him, and added a new one after they were together, which he wasn't over keen on. The ear stretching was after they were together, and she talked to him about it, and he told her that he didn't like them or find them attractive. It's her choice. I personally think those stretched earlobes look ridiculous, and have met a couple of people who stretched their earlobes, and years later no longer liked how they looked, and wished they'd never gotten them stretched at all, one was a guy and the other a woman. If she changes careers in the future, the stretched earlobes could be detrimental to her new career. Tattoos can be covered if needed, but stretched earlobes will stay stretched and can't be covered up, unless she wears a scarf all the time.

[@UsagiArwen]

​@@jennysmith38I'm at half inch. I did it because I didn't like how my normal ear piercings were crooked. If you notice something about yourself that you hate, you will always notice it. At my size, there are still plenty of jewelry pieces like acrylic, stone, and glass that take up the space and don't make me look like I have massive holes in my ears. The size op was talking about is several sizes smaller which has as many if not more options. She could easily skate by many jobs with those if she wore decorative plugs. But still, I am in the camp that a relationship is about give and take, and he wouldn't be the ah if that was a hard no for him.

[@kitviola946]

Exactly. I’ll never understand this trend of “clean-cut” guys choosing to date alt women and then expecting the woman to change their style to suit the dude. Just date another clean-cut person, there’s plenty out there!

[@SXLLYSTRXNG]

I feel so bad for this OP bc I used 2 b in multiple relationships like this :(( it’s awful, u love someone for who u r but the other person is just shallow AF & dumps u for cosmetic changes (or maybe they find out **1** single unsavory thing about u lol) it’s horrible & it makes u feel stuck often😭😭😭😭

[@karenturner9423]

"Child pageants" That see it all right there.

[@rachaelclark8465]

Story 1, It sounds like to me is she doesn't want you there. She may not be saying out right but, her actions say so. I would have told her, fine, I just won't come then. Then hung up on her.

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: Just wear jeans and a tshirt. I am so sick of bridezillas and their stupid wedding rules. It is better not to attend. I really really really HATE weddings nowadays.

[@lindalehr1551]

When did it become mandatory for brides to ask everyone to make over the top financial sacrifices for their weddings?

[@SirCodeBot]

For story 2, in regards to Aphelius90 comment it really annoyed me, since ear stretching is temporary if you don't go beyond a 00 gauge as OP mentioned.

[@dementesf]

How to spot a failed marriage before it begins

[@MarkNarrations]

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

🤗🤗💜💜

[@paden1865able]

I don't need people to police my clothing and if you try, I'll avoid you and your events. If you don't let people know if your wedding colours aren't traditional, then don't be surprised when someone wears the same. Ugh. Bridezilla prize goes to the sister.

[@DoomChibi99]

Story 2 did tick me off. Just reminds me of my toxic ex who told me to "Dress more like a girl so people can notice HIM better by comparison". OP, leave his ass. He won't change.

[@bessieburnet9816]

If he gets so unattracted and would leave her over a minor ear change, he ain't worth keeping.

[@aaroneisenman6873]

Stretched ears are NOT a minor change. Especially once you get to the lower gauges. Once you get there, you have to wear the gauges because without them, you just have skin flapping around which IMO looks disgusting. ​@bessieburnet9816

[@Frostfern94]

@@aaroneisenman6873Yeah I hate to agree cause people are always YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE and that’s absolutely true, but attraction still matters

[@aaroneisenman6873]

@Frostfern94 Yeah, I think it was the second comment that hit it on the head. "You have the choice to do what you want to your body, but not the license."

[@bluealyssum192]

Story 2: didn't we already hear of a story similar to this ? Where the girlfriend was the op and the boyfriend wanted to get a tattoo? I think, if I remember correctly, the girlfriend was told to suck it up and got told she was shallow for not liking it. A weird 180 with almost the same situation

[@Ravenishish]

Tattoos have a stronger fan base than stretched ears. There was another one where OP wasn't the AH but it took trauma around tattoos to get that verdict. Honestly when it comes to body mods, do as you will, but if you're in a relationship and the partner says this may be a deal breaker you just need to take that into account going forward.

[@bessieburnet9816]

Hm? It's not a 180 of the girlfriend was dumping in him getting a tattoo.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

​@@Ravenishishsame story but the assault was part of their update

[@GK-ob1ni]

Came to the comments looking for this. I thought it weird that people had the opposite reaction to the same issue. Body modification is body modification, whether it's tattoos or stretched ears. I wonder if it's gender bias or just that people dislike stretched ears?

[@Frostfern94]

@@GK-ob1niI think it’s the ears. A LOT of people like tattoos and are very vocal about it

[@roowyrm9576]

I'm 68, with tattoos and stretched ears, pierced nose etc. I am more than happy with my body. But OP is free to chose how she decorates her body. If she choses to stop stretching her ears, then she can. Making accommodation for her partners preferences is also her choice, so long as she is not being coerced.

[@bessieburnet9816]

Seems she is being coerced.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1. Nta Elaine doesn't like op and was looking for a fight and any excuse to keep her from the wedding and cry victim.

[@JoJoGranum]

I’d have shown up in torn jeans and sweatshirt. Petty? Yes. However nothing will satisfy this bridezilla. This is a no-win situation. She’s deliberately making it difficult for OP to attend.

[@SaheeliRai]

A yellow sweatshirt?

[@JoJoGranum]

@@SaheeliRai lol why not ? To add to my pettiness

[@KimberlyCaldwell-xb2if]

Story 1 oP needs to ghost all of them for her whole life

[@tictactoe325]

Story 1: What the heck? You are better off by not having contact with your oldest sister. She’s poisonous.

[@gougef]

Stoty 1: How much you want to bet that OP blossomed in her 20's and the sister is no longer the "prettiest" one? I think that did not want her their because she would now outshine the golden child.

[@amylynnsgraphics]

This first story made me do mental gymnastics with how frustrating it was! I'm glad OP at least had Celia that seemed to be on her side. I would throw this entire family away with the way they've been treating OP, and I LOVE how she told Elaine, as of now, she's no longer her sister! I love that for OP, because she was not being a good sister she was being a total AH and so was the mother with her passive aggressive "I don't know how to share directions" and then the sister cancelling OP's meal then charging her for it! NOBODY Wants to pay for mediocre wedding food! This whole post reeks of Elaine wanting to find a way to exclude OP from her wedding and justifying it.

[@Swnsasy]

I don't understand how all reason goes out the Window. She sent her the dress, no response.. Asked what are the wedding colors, no response.. Of course all of the flying monkey's come in without asking what happened and instead just pile in on her.. There is something else going on and it's not about the dress at all... This is ridiculous which is what makes me believe they just don't like her... Let's see the update....

[@mattiekarwin3667]

I think the reason people got so cagey on the comments for story 2 is the sheer amount of people who get completely controlled and manipulated by their partner over the course of years, almost always starting with something small like this. The idea that 'first it's the ear stretching, then the jewelry altogether, then her clothes, then her friends, then her family' and before you know it you're completely under their thumb. It's an understandable paranoia, and frankly even now I'm a little worried that's how it'll go, but I do also have pretty bad anxiety in general, so perhaps I'm just catastrophizing.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Yeah I had a tiny alarm bell go off when she said she "didn't wanna push her luck" since she was modded before they met. I don't think I could date someone who wasn't a fan of tattoos because I have a few and I want more.

[@zozocecp]

@@Resilient_Sage88 Same, also when he said they “weren’t her style”. Like… yeah they are if she’s making them her style, you know? Also frankly, a bit bothered by the update where she tells him she’ll stop and his response is just, “Mm”? Just seemed odd

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@zozocecp yeah I wonder what the tone of that was. Like "I got my way, I'm satisfied for now." Or like a mind bomb where it's like "I don't actually care but good to know I can manipulate my partner."

[@kirin1195]

For story 1. The whole wedding dinner price was intentionally done to spite op over not buying the new dress. It was 100% "If shes not going to pay £200 for the dress like i said, then shes going to pay another way" like i actually doubt she cancelled OPs meal. She was just wanting to make her pay.

[@katwitanruna]

I’d pick up a few things from Goodwill or consignment store and then profer each one on different days as if you’re picking them up somewhere.

[@ghislainedefeligonde5166]

OP needs to find someone to talk to and help her get over the fact, that her family hates her. All of them with maybe the exception of her next older sister who seems about as clueless as OP. She does not deserve this. I liked how reddit handled the second story, it even seemed helpful for OP:

[@gigga143]

S1: I’m glad Op finally got a clue. It’s crazy to me that she ever went to get bullied by her awful sister, and the fact her mother wouldn’t even give her directions. I hope she goes NC with that whole family tbh except Cecelia since they all kept treating her awful.

[@candypettynettie487]

S1- what a horrible family. I hope op goes no contact with everyone. They'll be back when they need something.

[@dawnoheee9524]

Story 1 is OP an affair baby? The family’s treatment is weird.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

This happens alot in families where everyone is 100% related sadly. Primarily with Narcissistic Parents there's almost always a "golden child" and a "scape goat." Since Elaine was evidently always "the pretty one" she did child pageants (barf!) So mommy dearest got to live vicariously through her. Golden child. Then there's OP whom I'm guessing is the youngest who wasn't deemed "pretty enough" easy scape goat. The two middles get ignored because "middle child syndrome"

[@sadtitties222]

Thank you! Yes, I was saying the exact same thing! There is definitely more to this situation than what even OP knows herself. Since OP says she and her sisters used to be close, something tells me they were told a family secret or they found out themselves and kept it between themselves while leaving OP out due to the possible secret making them see OP in a different light. An affair, assault (hopefully not), adoption, who knows? Maybe it really is just a case of favoritism and OP is the family punching bag. I hope we receive an update one of these days.

[@pippo17173]

​@@sadtitties222somethings happen at a young age to cause this. It really sounds intentionally here.

[@robertx8020]

@@pippo17173 Maybe Or the mother is just a POS and her sister is the golden child

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Wasn't there a story recently where OP'S boyfriend wanted to get a tattoo because of body insecurities and OP didn't want him to and reddit absolutely raked her over the coals and said it was his body? Yikes people, the inconsistency.

[@bessieburnet9816]

Inconsistency? Seems consistent to me.

[@whitemoonwolf13]

That one had an update and her issue with tats was due to trauma over an assault. Also wanting to cover an insecurity is a bit different than "I want to just cuz". Not an apples to apples thing here

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

​@@whitemoonwolf13Do you not see how that makes things worse? In story A, gf doesn't want her bf to get tattoos because of past trauma involving tattoos and the overwhelming response from Reddit was, "it's his body his choice, you're the AH for dictating his bodily choices." In story B, gf wants to get tattoos/body mods, and bf isn't a fan of them because of preference and the Reddit judgment is, "well obviously if he doesn't like them and you get them anyways he should leave your ass" Do you see inconsistencies now?

[@darkandfire]

​@@andrewi.crocker8675she didnt reveal she got assualted untill the update. Her bf also wasnt aware of the assualt. In the 3rd update she had spoken to hin about it and he decided to forgo getting the tattoo to keep her from feeling uncomfortable as the guy who assualted her had a tattoo exactly on the spot he wants to cover. This is reddit is normally telling women to girl boss things up. That its you body who cares what he thinks. So without them know about the assualt they kept the same energy.

[@whitemoonwolf13]

@andrewi.crocker8675 before the update ppl were saying its his body his choice but you can leave if it's a deal breaker. The trauma came out in an update and ppl changed course. It's the same initially in both, of the person doing what they want and the partner being free to leave. But story one has the complication of the update after the verdict. Again it's not an apples to apples comparison

[@bgcorporation]

I legit thought this was the purple dress story for a minute before she said she wasn't a bride's maid. The purple dress story was also infuriating.

[@carolroberts4614]

I remember that one! Nobody would tell op the right colour, is that the one?

[@bgcorporation]

@@carolroberts4614 Mhm, but she found out in the end. Went in with 2 dresses (1 with the wrong color, 1 with the right color). It was messed up just like the first story.

[@FinnishLapphund]

Story 1: Not surprised to hear they weren't actually making male + female guests show receipts to prove their clothes are bought new before allowing them to attend the ceremony. Nah, if OP's dress hadn't had the "wrong" colour, they would've thought of something else to object about, because they clearly didn't want OP at the wedding. My petty side hopes OP posted a post on Facebook or similar with her side of the story, just so that the rest of the family's explanation isn't the only version out there.

[@dianedupree-dempsey2402]

My husband shaved his face clean just before our 10th anniversary. He’d always had at least a mustache. The new look was so disorienting! It made the kids cry, and weirdly, even standing next to him, I missed him. Obviously it wouldn’t have been a deal breaker and he’s had various facial styles over the years. My point is, looks do matter to us. Of course looks change but a sudden drastic alteration can affect how we ‘view’ our partner and thus possibly also how we feel about them. Those feelings can’t always be over come as easily as hubby facial hair.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: Facebook marketplace is also a good place to find dresses. But personally, I'd have gone on offense. "I asked about the colors, I sent you an image of the dress before I baught it and you said *nothing*. If the alternatives I have offered aren't good enough for you, either you can pay for my new dress, or I'm not attending".

[@YellaBellaReno]

There is a difference between telling your partner you don’t find something like tattoos or piercings attractive, and telling them they would look dumb/unattractive/unprofessional with tattoos or piercings. It’s subtle, but very different. Not that this is what is going on in this story. I also don’t feel like you should consider something unattractive without first seriously considering WHY you feel that way, but looks were never very high up on my list, so that might just be easy for me to say.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@BlankBrain]

Story 1: I suggest a paisley dress if OP feels they HAVE to go. I wouldn't put up with their BS; just not go.

[@ilydowa]

we had a reddit atory where a guy got a tattoo and his gf didn't like it and reddit was on his side, before that we had one where a girl got one and her bf didn't like it and reddit was on his side... some commenters even here... idk reddit does has a misogyny problem for sure...

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: She wants to pick the dress so OP1 won't "ruin" her wedding? OP1 needs to tell her sister and mother to kick rocks. Goodwill has plenty of nice dresses. Also, tell me Elaine's the Golden Child without telling me she's the golden child and OP1 was the scapegoat. Eff them. She was never truly invited. The whole campaign was to try to save face for excluding OP1. BTW I know how the one sister feels. She's with the b!tch eldest since she led the harrassment campaign. S2: She would not be an AH, OP2's body, her choice and all that. HOWEVER OP2 is going to have to deal with the fact that her body mods will eventually make Mr. Clean-cut go "Ok. I'm out." OP2 would be better off with someone who actually likes this stuff and Mr. Clean-cut will be better off with a clean-cut woman.

[@sandracox4341]

Story 1: the sister for whatever reason doesn't want you to attend, that's why she didn't respond to your photos of the dress you wanted to order before you ordered it, so she could disapprove after the fact.

[@Blck_Ch3rry]

S2. I always get a chuckle when i read posts where they say "we balance each other out we are a good match" then chaos inssues around body mods. Like i get its not for everyone and thats okay. But i think it can also be a sign for mismatched compatibility and possible un aligned values. Cause ive met people who arent into tattoos but respect their partners desires for them. They dont like it for themselves but can respect their partners autonomy and what makes their partners them. But if youre with someone and you try and dictate their body, thats not okay. If you dont like body mods to the point of not being attracted to your partner/ dictating your partner, then DONT DATE ANYONE WITH BODY MODS OR WHO LIKES THEM. Cause if youre dictating your partners body, it shows you dont respect them, their interests, bodily autonomy, nore their decisions as a full grown adult. Body mods should be a discussion topic for the beginning of relationships cause it can give insight on whether youre compatible or not Like compromise is needed in relationships but i think bodily autonomy should be respected. Respect me wanting body mods, if you dont want them, i respect your choice to a "nude" body. But dont tell me what i can and can not do with my body just because "you dont find it attractive". If you dont find it attractive, then why are you even with someone who has body mods

[@yamitsukikarasu8857]

I myself have a few tattoos and 7 ear piercings. My partner isn't interested in getting body modifications, but he likes mine and would be open to me getting more. It's part of the many reasons we've been together for the past 10 years. I don't get people who don't like body modifications, but still date people with them with the condition that they don't get more.

[@yvetteb2670]

I just subscribed today, I prefer watching your videos over others, because you have a nice voice and you read the full stories and updates if available, so you have the whole story!

[@AndyyWithAY]

My Dragon Ball Ts came from Ebay yesterday. The quality is amazing and they were on sale too! 😁 Then I wake up in the middle of the night and see a text from bestie! 💖 They needed some time to look after themselves and I'm always one to respect boundaries. But, damn if I didn't have to sit on my hands yesterday not to tell them about the wild event that happened yesterday. If your week is going well, kudos 🍻 If it's not hoping it gets better soon. Much love 💖🧇🤗🧇🤗🧇💖

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Yay

[@SS-te4hs]

Story 1. Tell me you are the pretty sister without telling me you are the pretty sister😂😂😂. Too much drama, but learn a lesson to never ask her for prior approval of anything ever again

[@jovemako]

(story 1) I wouldn't have even bothered going to your sister's wedding. They refused to tell you ok colors when you asked, they left you on read, and want you to spend large amounts of money on a new last minute dress? nah. forget that. they're being spoiled brats (the lot of them) and you don't need that kind of stress in your life.

[@user-blob]

This.

[@KarmaTheDragon]

if i was op in story 1 i would do one very simple thing, screen shot. do it all take pics of the text to her sisters and make a HUGE family group chat, add everyone! every single person she can and post the pics! followed with "I asked, not just the bride who neglected to even look at my messages, but sister number 2 if i am the AH like you all say then so are they bye" and leave it let everone see what an AH the sisters are end of.

[@goatkiller666]

“Wedding planning is stressful, and I should be more occomodating.” Correction: micromanaging a wedding is stressful. If the bride were to be more accommodating, the stress would get much better.

[@nightstarstar1]

S1- f her and f her wedding. Too many of these people go absolutely crazy on their wedding day and it’s too much. Seems like this sister doesn’t even like her and doesn’t really want her there. Who doesn’t have their own sister in their wedding unless there’s some bad blood.

[@ImCassy]

Story 1: Me thinks the future hubby has spoken too kindly about OP

[@maxinemyers9215]

I’d love to hear another update on story 1, thanks Mark🌷

[@jazzie-sanbelle99]

1 story that sister sounds entitled. I would not bother going at all

[@danger0Robertson]

I have three sisters myself and I can't imagine any of us doing that to each other. We text each other almost daily and I have never left them on read unless I was busy at work and I always responded as soon as I could. But to plot to have her look like the bad guy so that the family doesn't blame the bride? That was done on purpose with malicious intent and she needs to walk away for her mental health.

[@bc6193]

Story 1 Time to go NC with your family. Make your friends your new family! What a sicko family!

[@bessieburnet9816]

Oh my God, they're horrible! That is actually really horrible emotional abuse! Poor OP!

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Oh, hang on, hang on! Bride wants EVERYONE who attends her wedding to buy new clothes? You can bet your last dime that I would wear the oldest dress I had, if I went at all. F--k that nonsense.

[@jenimhills]

Story 2 - I’m a 32 year old and I’ve also been in a relationship for 10 years. I cannot fathom where the boyfriend or the comments are coming from. They sound shallow. You would think there would be more substance to the relationship. Sure - attraction matters. However, it’s not the only factor in a relationship, especially one that has lasted that long. Especially over ear stretching? That sort of body mod is relatively easy to reverse if she ends up not liking the look anymore. And what the fuck is this “it’s not you” shit he’s spouting? Why not let the woman experiment with her appearance? Someone’s look doesn’t have to be stagnant. Personally - I’m disappointed OP ended up choosing that shitty ass man. Hopefully the red flags for controlling behavior don’t come to fruition and they can have a happy relationship.

[@rebajoe]

Especially when all he could say for himself was just 'hm'.

[@jenimhills]

@@rebajoe you get it!

[@lise1902]

Thank you! I thought all the comments were wack. Also just the way he talked about her tattoos really gave me the ick.

[@musicdaydreams2506]

Story 1: I bet the groom made an inappropriate comment about thinking OP is cute and the bride is jealous, so didn’t want her at her wedding. 😂

[@lifewithlee6298]

Wait Till op has her own wedding 💒 than they will come crawling back when op doesn’t invite them 😅

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Happy day, Mark and Waffle Gang! Thanks for the vid Mark, your videos always make my day!

[@MarkNarrations]

A pleasure as always, thanks for being here :)

[@cats1900]

Story 1... just wow. I feel bad for OP. Her fam is toxic.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Story 1, that family is full of assholes, sans OP. The whole story was infuriating. But I think what chaps my ass the most was that they were DESPERATE, just absolutely DETERMINED to get OP to go to a bridal shop and pay hundreds of dollars that she doesn't have, to get a dress to a party she wasn't actually invited to. It just feels like they wanted this betrayal to hurt OP as much as possible and make her waste extra money just to rub salt in the wound. I almost wonder if OP is an affair baby or something? Did we even hear about a dad?

[@jas6940]

I want a after no contact update on some of these stories That whole family is a bunch of idiots what the heck hope op has a wonderful no contact life

[@American_Liberty]

Story 1. Ridiculous bride! OP should have said nothing about her dress as the bride wasn't getting back to her anyway and just wore the yellow dress.

[@lillyvonshtup7314]

If you want flesh tunnels be my guest.. but.. remember.. you’ll get old and your ears will droop ( badly) as you age.. if you want your lobes lying on your shoulders when you’re 50 .. go for it

[@faeriefire78]

It's crazy how some people will go to such extravagant lengths to cut people off from the family. If you hate someone that much, put on your big girl pants and have the lady balls to tell them you want them out of your life. This is a whole family of a-holes.

[@Amelia073]

Story 1: there’s something big that OP has neglected to include. This reaction from the family is so ridiculous, makes so little sense, and I don’t believe she’s another Reddit whipping boy child. She’s omitted something.

[@dm9078]

Story 2 NTA her ears her choice. But if he leaves that is his choice!’

[@Songbirdstress]

Does she prefer stretched ears or her boyfriend? But it sounds like the relationship is over.

[@bessieburnet9816]

If he leaves, his loss. If you really loved someone, you wouldn't dump them over that.

[@MogofWar]

For Story 1: I'd air the whole story on Facebook and tell everyone this could have all been avoided if I wasn't being left on read. One thing OP needed to do in due diligence was notntry to address everything through the maid of honor and asdress the bride directly and regularly... Seems there are other issues wirh rhe relationship that the OP may not have noticed which are causing people to take her sister's side against her, but the fact that she did address the maid of honor only and did not press when left on read regarding a very important question means she already subtly knew that the bride was trying to freeze her out and the fact that she never asked her own mother, who seems to have been invovled enough to k ow more than she does at least, suggests she knew more than she's letting on.

[@andaubreyismyname]

The idea of finding your partner unattractive just because of something like gaged ears after TEN YEARS of being together is pretty pathetic ngl

[@wessexdruid7598]

It's not that. It's having discussed something, the partner making their views clear - if OP then just went ahead and did it, it's sending a clear 'I don't care about your needs'. A partnership is just that - continual compromises. You have to pick your hills to die on...

[@Phenomenal5266]

Facts and it's controlling as well

[@wessexdruid7598]

@@Phenomenal5266 But ignoring your partner's opinion isn't? The key word, there, is PARTNER. Do you have one?

[@catandrobbyflores]

Don't be shocked when a partner leaves because they don't find you attractive after doing something that could have been avoided. Relationships don't work if you ignore your partner's opinions.

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

"She used to do child pageants." Ah. That explains it.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 1: Is the bride really that stupid?? She refused to tell anyone what the colors being worn by otehrs were, then got mad when OP bought the same color by chance?? Seriously, I'd skip the whole wedding. Or, go buy a dress at Goodwill and DON'T TELL THE BRIDE. But honestly, why even go? Bride is out of her mind.

[@noydb-1]

It was pretty obvious she just didn't want you to be there but wanted to paint you as the bad guy. You could have tried to get a hundred different dresses, and it would have been "pink - reserved for grooms' cousin. blue - reserved for third cousin twice removed. black - reserved for MIL. potato sack - reserved for grandmother, etc." Golden child didn't want the scapegoat to be there.

[@videofan1010]

Burlington Coat Factory is a good option. Sister never would know that the dress came from there.

[@exikat]

About the one with ear stretching, I personally HATE gauges, they make me uncomfortable looking at them, but that's because I have a phobia of things on the human body bending the wrong way and shit like that, I hate contortionists for the same reason. The boyfriend is probably freaked out by them too, but doesn't want to admit it so instead he's deflecting to "They won't look good on u"

[@dexine4723]

I find stretchers utterly repulsive too, and avoid looking at them.

[@rinpaisys]

Sounds like bridezilla sis decided she has beef with OP somewhere along the line, but like the dress colors, she never informed OP about it or even hinted at it until it was too late to do anything about it. Guess Elaine is the apple that didn’t fall far from the tree.